Sudhansu says: November 23, 2018
Hello Durga
I patiently read your issue in the beginning and also went through a lot of the comments posted by different people. Folks have quoted holy books and what not. From your name I am assuming you are a bengali female looking to marry into a muslim family. I have seen quite a few such occurrences within my family, my mom married a muslim man few years ago in Kolkata. My cousin living in New York married a muslim guy. Another cousin married a muslim guy and moved to Doha. I have seen a couple of my hindu friends from college also getting married to muslim guys but I am not sure whats going on with them so i wont talk about them much. Also I wont be quoting any religious text but will only talk about my own experience and my opinion.
If you go ahead with the marriage please keep the following in mind.
1. Conversion to Islam is mandatory
Without conversion 99% muslim family wont accept you. As someone mentioned there are cases where hindu girls just get converted for marriage which might be true. In the cases that I have seen closely, my mom and my cousins converted to Islam before getting married. They started to learn and love the religion before the marriage. This in my opinion helped them integrate with the new family quickly.
2. Adopting a Islamic name
If your name is anything like Durga, you will probably have to change your name. Start researching early and choose a new name that you and your future husband will like.
3. Change in dressing style
I dont know what kind of clothes you normally wear but once you convert to Islam its better you dont wear anything remotely revealing. My mom and my cousins transitioned to wearing hijabs quite early. Normally all of them wore modern clothes, jeans, skirts, tops showing cleavage etc. However all that changed after conversion. My cousins also removed their older social media pictures that they had. Islam is extremely strict about women’s modesty and this should not be taken lightly
4. Having a large family
This may vary but most muslim families tend to be quite large. My step dad has 3 wives and has 10 children of his own among them. Actually 9 right now but mom is pregnant. Both my cousins have 3 kids as well. My mom and one of my cousins were pregnant before marriage so that contributed to the large family as well. Another key thing to keep in mind is that any child you have will be muslim as well and will be raised up as such
5. Food habits
This is a little controversial and I am sure this differs by family but my mom was expected to cook and eat beef. I am not sure about my cousins so wont guess anything. This is something to keep in mind.
Sudhansu says: November 28, 2018 at 9:58 pm
Hello Md. Zia
Thanks for your response. I have some thoughts and wanted your opinion on them
– In case a Hindu woman marries a Muslim man then not only does she convert her entire lifestyle changes. Is it an expectation that the women should not work and focus more on family. Before getting married my mom used to work for my step dad but after marriage she became a housewife devoting her life to her new family and my step brothers.
– Why is Islam so strict that converts are not allowed to participate in any Hindu religious activity. Not only was my mom not allowed to do any sort of puja inside the house but she was not allowed to visit any temple outside as well.
– Why do you think that liberal women who would normally smoke, drink and wear revealing clothes suddenly become super conservative once they convert to Islam. My mom was quite liberal in nature did not challenge or question any of the changes that she went through. She willingly converted, started wearing a hijab, changed her name, eat beef etc. Although she had no desire to have any more kids but after marriage she had 2 kids and one more on the way. Why do you think there is this kind of behavior change? –Sudhansu
| Name | Relationship with mother | Sudhansu | Sudhansu: My mother married her Muslim boss | Iqbal | Sexual Relationship with My Friends Mom | Gautham | (Muslim friend) Got My Mother Pregnant | Deepx | Pakistani Muslim Student with My Sikh Mom | Raj | My Hindu Mother Wants to Marry a Muslim |
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Admin,
This is not called “love jihad”. Tell me what is love jihad. Anyway, I did say that Hindu girls should get themselves married with Muslim boys as soon as they attained puberty because now a days,it is often seen and reported that daughters are raped by their hindu fathers as was saraswati raped by her father brahm.Atleast brahmins say so.Now where is my fault? Knowing fully well that they those two painters are well of mother and mom of manas had eloped with them. I strongly believe that they have done it for sexual satisfaction.
mr zia can u plz explain ur last 2 lines?
Leaving and deserting husband and a teenager son your mother had run away with a poor painter for sex only.
mr zia,i dnt think u hv gone through my post properly.u r partially right.no doubt there is a matter of sexual satisfaction which my mom got from them.bt if only that hv been the reason for her to elope then she would hv done it immediately after the work was over.bt she didnt.it was when she got pregnant the whole story started.as the child in her womb was a ‘muslim’ child both moinul and kader forced her to deliver the baby being a muslim lady and not being a hindu lady.my mom eloped 2-3 month after their intercourse happened.if it was only for sex she would not hv taken that time…and what about masi then? she didn’t had sex with any of them before.she came in a critical situation at our home.may b my mom was thinking about an aboration thats why masi came as she was a nurse.bt i firmly blv those 2 guys was against aboration and wanted mom to deliver the child..do u think my masi was having Intercourse with them on that situation? and she found satisfaction and she with my mom eloped? really do u think so?
Admin’s note: Different names used by manas, mdRao and Jyotimoy, all these from the similar localities of Mr. Haque.
do u hv any answer of my questions mr zia?
Bro do you really have any right to call someone’s like this it really seems inhumane thing…
If you give their old address then also I will to have them located and arrange for appropriate penal action
what kind of penal action?
Admin’s note: We have not validated this comment. Read details here https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=15025#comment-422100
after reading so much of u i wanna share my experience which i think quite horrible than others.my maternal family was actually from Bangladesh and in bengali r called “bangal”. so my mom is also a bangal and has a soft corner for bangladesh..once when i was in class 10 our third floor was getting painted and two men (or i say boys) named kader and moinul were recruited. after few days i found my mom talking with them,the primary talk was abt Bangladesh as they said they came from there in search of work.bt few days later i saw found her locked in a room with those 2. i was shatteted bt didnt had anything to say to my dad at that tym as it was 2010 and u know on that time as a class 8 boy it was not easy.few days later their work completed and they went away..few months later mom realised that she is pregnant. she called her elder sister,my ‘masi’ and confronted her all..my masi scolded her and urged to tell my dad bt my mom didnt..one evng both moinul and kader came to our house,ofcourse when dad was not there,and had a chat with mom and masi.they said as she is with moinul’s child she is bound to marry him.masi said it cant be.that day they went away bt few days later i found both mom and masi gone missing. ultimately my dad came to know and we left the city after some bad events. 3 yrs ago me and my masi’s son,younger than me came to know that both mom and masi stays in a muslim colony in barasat.we both went one day and found that moinul has married my mom and kader married masi.mom who was reshmi mondal is now nazima and masi nandita paul is now amina..moinul had another wife with 3 kids and kader had 2 more wives with 7 kids..now my mom has produced 2 daughters and masi produced a son and was pregnant with another son/daughter…they spoke to us from a diatance and said it was destiny. moinul though came to me and had a chat. bt when we were leaving he told me beware we will comw to impregnate ur wife too..since then i didnt try to communicate with mom or masi..it was 3-4 years back..now as i m married to my wife,sananda,moinul and kader somehow came to know where i live and is often seen beside our house.sananda is not aware of every event as she only knows my mom eloped with someone years back..i dnt know wht going to b nxt
Admin’s note: Different names used by manas, mdRao and Jyotimoy, all these from the similar localities of Mr. Haque.
Hi Manas,
We are sorry to hear of these, this must be hard on you. Thank you for speaking out.
Why you think your mother and masi ran away this easily just after a brief interaction with others? Why they did not had respect for their married life and husband?
Admin,
Where is the post/statement of Manas?
Admin’s reply: Mr. Haque, we know you are excited to see it posted. Read more here https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=15025#comment-422100
i hv no idea..back then i was small bt now i can understand that may b those men came with an exact plan as now they r after my wife.as i said my mom had a soft corner for bangladesh so did my masi.may b on that note they fell for them.first they started talking with mom and somehow managed to have sex with her.the real motto sure to impregnate hindu girls as moinul said back then to me. this is how they want to invade every hindu family by producing muslim children.
Admin’s note: Different names used by manas, mdRao and Jyotimoy, all these from the similar localities of Mr. Haque.
Dear Admin,
I am upset to read the matter of Manas. I promise that I will throw those men behind the bar and see that they are punished for the crime committed by them. Ask Manas to give me the present address of those men and then see,by Grace of Almighty Allah(S.W.T), what I do and what I can do. Those pepple had simply black mailed the mother and aunty of Manas by forcibly doing sexual intercourse with them in the absence of any male member in the house.
Admin’s note: Mr. Haque, manas lives in a very close proximities to you!!
mr zia,to be fare i dont think my mom was blackmailed or forced to hv intercourse with moinul and kader.though i was quite young to judge at that time,by the body language and eagerness of my mom towards them, i knew there was an attraction..the blackmail part may hv come later when she got pregnant by one of them’s child.i recount that day when both came to hv a chat with mom and masi.i didnt hear all bt it was sure that they were desperate that mom with the child in her womb elope with them and give birth as a muslim woman.in the case of masi though i feel there hv been a blackmailing. i thnk my masi succumbed under the threat of my mom and her child’s life and she may b forced to hv sex with kader.
and i dnt know their current address as i went to the colony 4 yrs back and as they were bangleshi immigrants they dnt live in a place for long.
Admin’s note: Different names used by manas, mdRao and Jyotimoy, all these from the similar localities of Mr. Haque.
Dear Manas,
These are love Jihadis. They will keep their wives/girls in cover but see others as Kafirs/slave girls worth doing as they please for their pleasure. Further they are not Koran (24:30) believer but out to expand Islam. One day India will be a Muslim majority nation and all Hindus will be drive out (where?).
They are inspired by these type of people…
“Before puberty, every Hindu girl should marry Muslim boy(s)” –Haque
https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=8380
Admin’s note: We have not validated this comment. Read details here https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=15025#comment-422100
admin,i think manas has highlighted a major prblm than just muslim marrying hindu.its the immigration prblm spcially in west bengal.like manas’s mother and aunt,there hv been many cases where a immigrant bangladeshi has eloped with wife daughter or sister of a hindu family.now they r getting voter cards through somewhere and bcming one of us overnight and getting hindu women. hence the population of Muslim getting increased.its now 65-35 in wb in favour of muslims 20 yrs ago it was 70-30 for hindus.
hey admin,is this the same md haque who has been commenting on the posts?
yes admin,they r zihadis and they r out on a mission. my mom and masi both r enslaved by them and i saw that when i went there few yrs back.both of them were earlier open minded hindu women and now they wear burkha. they r just a baby making machine to moinul and kader.kader alone had 9 kids by then, 2 frm my masi.and moinul is almost half the age of my mom has 5 kids, 2 frm my mom.it was back im 2015 i dnt know the number now.bt now they r more poweful.they r no more poor.i dnt know how bt they seem to b rich. with bikes and mobile phones.my wife srestha( earlier i purposely took the wrong name) is been followed by them silently. may b she is their nxt victim.i m trying my best to save her.
Admin’s note: Different names used by manas, mdRao and Jyotimoy, all these from the similar localities of Mr. Haque.
Admin,
Little correction:
As soon as they attain
Those painterd are not well off
Wow, this is so messed up. It’s so weird that so many Hindu women including married housewives are marrying Muslim men. More than that well off Hindu women are marrying poor Muslim men. Maybe someone can expand as to why this phenomenon is growing everyday
though they were only labours and poor,as well as ugly,they had the audacity to talk as a decent person and r easily attractable.and i found their language, their humourous nature all might be very attracting for hindu women who after 10-15 yrs of marriage doesn’t find the same from husband..and if that is a plan then weak hindu girls easily falls for the pray.i must tell u my mom was very beautiful and my masi too. even masi was a govt nurse.it was a shocker when they went away.
Admin’s note: Different names used by manas, mdRao and Jyotimoy, all these from the similar localities of Mr. Haque.
hey manas,why dont just admit that ur mother lusted Muslim men and the moment she found 2 young muslim men in her house she just can’t resist herself anymore..as u said ur father was 42 and on that age hindu men looses interest in sex bt ur mom was 33 so she was totally fertile.i thnk ur father nvr thought abt a 2nd child as he gave his all to produce u..bt wht abt ur mom? wht abt her sexual desires? stop blaming those men.they came to ur country as a nobody so definately they were looking to put on a family and ur 33 yr old seductive mom was just served them that.everything has a different perspective.did ur mom and mausi ever tried to come back? whn u guys went to see them did they ever mntion that they miss u and the earlier life? did they tried to communicate after u met them? if the answer is so i think u know what it means.
Admin’s note: Different names used by manas, mdRao and Jyotimoy, all these from the similar localities of Mr. Haque.
Hello Md. Zia
Thanks for your response. I have some thoughts and wanted your opinion on them
– In case a Hindu woman marries a Muslim man then not only does she convert her entire lifestyle changes. Is it an expectation that the women should not work and focus more on family. Before getting married my mom used to work for my step dad but after marriage she became a housewife devoting her life to her new family and my step brothers.
– Why is Islam so strict that converts are not allowed to participate in any Hindu religious activity. Not only was my mom not allowed to do any sort of puja inside the house but she was not allowed to visit any temple outside as well.
– Why do you think that liberal women who would normally smoke, drink and wear revealing clothes suddenly become super conservative once they convert to Islam. My mom was quite liberal in nature did not challenge or question any of the changes that she went through. She willingly converted, started wearing a hijab, changed her name, eat beef etc. Although she had no desire to have any more kids but after marriage she had 2 kids and one more on the way. Why do you think there is this kind of behavior change,
Because brother that would be shirk to do that a grave sin.
Drinking and using drugs are prohibited because it only causes harm towards our body. There is little good in consuming it for recreational purposes.
As for dresses concerned there are dress codes in Islam it is good to abide by it.
Sudhansu,
In Veda Bhagawan says,” Aaham Eko Dujo Nasti.” Means I am one there is no second one. It further says Ekam Brah Ditia Naastey, Ney, Naa Nastey Kinchan.” Means I am the one, there is no seond one no,no,never ,not a least.” According to your religion,whosoever worships idols or created things is heading towards darkness.” But the greedy brahmins had introduced idol wirships to earn easy money. These brahmins(I know that you are also a brahmin) had raped millions of women belonging to SC/ST. They even allege that Brahm had raped his daughter Saraswati. Being a Muslim I don’t brlieve but billions of Hindus like you believe it.
According to Islam resposibility of family lies on husband/father or male members and not on mother/wife and female members.What for a female will go and earn money when the husband or father does it. Will it not be better if the wife or mother stays at home and.look after their children?
Don’t you agree that because of her look and exposure of body without hizab she could not escape the lusting eyes of your step dad who had made her pregrant before marriage. Your mom has now no other alternative but give birth to children as your step dad,being much elder than her, fulfills his sexual desire with fullest satisfsction.Now that in Hizab chances are remote to be engaged with any other man.
Will it be possible for you to arrange a meeting with step dad/mom as it will helpful for me write a book on ” Why do Hindu Girls like to marry Muslim Boys.”
Sudhansu or Rahul,
You are not at fault and not answerable for the offences committted by your step dad. Do you have any other question?
Hello
I personally dont think my step dad committed a crime. He may have been morally wrong. Irrespective of any religious book I dont think adults having sex with consent is wrong.
You mentioned that it was because of my moms revealing clothes that my step dad got involved with her. I dont know how you can blame anyone in this day and age for wearing something revealing. It is an individuals right to wear anything.
You mentioned that my mom has no option now but to fully satisfy my step dad and make as many children as he wants. Why shouldnt a woman have a say in what she wants in life. I find it very weird that my mom does everything he wants without question. my mom who was originally quite dominant has become completely submissive. Being the youngest wife she has to not only listen to my step dad but also his other wives and children
Initially when my mom was getting used to her new life with the family my step dad would often be rough with her. I have read that its allowed in the quran to hit your wife. This to me sounds extremely wrong
Your thoughts please
Thanks for responding to my post. Can you please elaborate as to why you think that I have pasted an incorrect picture of Islam. I personally felt bad since that was not my intention at all. Although I am personally agnostic I respect Islam a lot. Although I live outside India now there are certain things that I follow because of instructions from my mom and step dad. For example I always fast during the holy month of Ramzan. I know my mom, step dad and his family is also fasting so it gives me a great sense of pride being part of his family.
Regarding clothes you mentioned hindu converts are allowed to wear anything they want. That is not what I have seen in my personal experience. My mom and my cousins strictly wear hijabs or niqabs while going out or in the presence of an outsider.
As I mentioned in my post I dont know any religious text in detail (Hinduism or Islam). I would like to have a detailed discussion with you regarding anything that I might have misspoken.
Sudhansu,
1.It is not required to change the name after reverting to Islam provided it is not associated with any deity.
2.A Muslim woman is allowed to keep her face and wrist open while going to market even.
3 Your mom has to cook beef and eat beef under duress. It has no connrction religion.
Hello
Thanks for pointing out some concerns in my answer. Your answers are probably more in line with the holy quran. My answers are in line with what I have experienced and probably more in line with real life.
1. As I mentioned pretty much all the women I know who married a muslim man had to take a completely new name (first name and obviously last name). Only one of my cousins had a name linked to a hindu deity. MY mom had a name linked to hinduism but not to any specific deity. Honestly speaking it was not even a matter of discussion whether mom had to change her religion and name. It was expected from my step dad that she would follow the islamic practices without question. Mom was happy to make these changes and these actions made her close to her new family.
2. I agree regarding the face and wrists. My mom, if she goes out normally wears a hijab. Her face and hands are open. my cousin in doha wears a niqab though which fully covers her face in public. I guess its more of a country specific law.
3. I dont think my mom is doing anything under duress. However since it is a controversial topic I will let it be.
Sudhansu,
1.It is not required to change the name after reverting to Islam provided it is not associated with any deity.
2.A Muslim woman is allowed to keep her face and wrist open while going to market even.
3 Your mom has to cook beef and eat beef under duress. It has no connrction religion. Not duplicate comment
Sudhasu,
One thing I am compelled to point out that your step dad had committed a big sin by having sexual intercourse with your mom before marriage. However,Alighty Allah(S.W.T)may forgive him if he makes TAUBA(sincerely begs apology)
Hello
I have some questions which I have always wanted proper answers to. No one seems to give me a proper answer for them.
1. I have noticed that its normally considered a matter of pride when a hindu women (specially a brahmin) adopts Islam. In my moms case my step dads family specially his oldest daughter who is my moms age would teach and educate her about Islam. My mom is personally very proud herself that she could adopt a new religion and submit to it. Is my observation correct?
2. It is my observation that Islam is an extremely dominant religion compared to hinduism. Muslim men and women would normally never convert to another religion. Compared to that in case any hindu man or woman if they fall in love with a muslim person they are normally the ones converting to Islam. In fact it is normally not even up for discussion. What are your thoughts on this?
I have more questions which I will ask later