My Mother Remarried to a Muslim Man

Abhoy says: May 13, 2021

Admin, recently i came across this site, i find it a great place to discuss cons and pros of interfaith/intercultural relation. I’m also experiencing similar life that my believe in liberalism, in individualism is in question because of my mother remarriage to a muslim man.

I’m from hindu family but don’t believe in any religion but culturally I’m hindu and want to keep my identity, it’s always good that people practice all festivals but should also keep one’s birth identity, i have an experience to share with ur site and need to get some suggestions from readers out here.

I’m at my late teen and currently living with my mummy and her Muslim husband, yes, my mother remarried with a muslim man. The incident is 3 yrs old when my mummy developed relationships with a Muslim man

For years my biological father and mother were happily married and I’m their only child, i was teen then but mature enough to understand the meaning of life.

We r originally from north but my father settled in West Bangal, has a business here and married my mother who was at her teen only as my mother was from my father village, so she married at an early age only and currently she is late 30’s.

My mother and father were happily married all these yrs, things were good, papa was busy, mummy was a housewife and i was a student, all seemed good but things changed when my mother developed closeness with a muslim man

We were living in Bengal, my mother was not so religious despite being from a village but after marriage it seemed she loved the life style of a city and started enjoying modern life, mummy was very frank and talkative, never hesitates to engage with strangers

All were good, mummy used to go for shopping regularly to a nearby market sometime she used to take me as well, the market has many Muslims shops, so mummy got closeness with one Muslim shop, she used to take clothes mostly from that shop only

I accompanied mummy often to that shop, the man was a muslim, in his late 20s, much younger than mummy who was mid 30’s then, the shop owner used to treat mummy well, served her some food and beverages, mummy used to engage with him very frankly as if they were old friends, i got that mummy has been visiting his shop from some 5 yrs and both developed good friendships, he used to call bhabhiji and mummy call him by name

Things go like this, i didn’t pay heed as it was normal for any woman to engage with shop owner so i ignored which proved my one of the biggest faults

My daytime was spending in school, papa in business and mummy mostly at home, one day i came early from school and saw mummy and that Muslim shop owner at my home with Mummy, i got enraged internally to see that man with mummy, i smelled something fishy, i asked mummy, she said he just came to deliver clothes, i wasn’t convinced with my mother reply but i ignored as i didn’t have any proof

But i needed to clear my mind, is there some relation developed between my mummy and that Muslim as no son will tolerate his mother with any stranger

so one day i bunked my class and found mummy got herself ready in a beautiful saree and left home after i had left for school, i followed mummy and found her going in that Muslim shop, stayed there for sometime then left together, i followed both and found them spending leisure time together at restaurants, parks holding hands, i 100% got that they r in relationship as they were holding their hands and even had kissed at park

So after spending sometime, mummy took him to our home, i got enraged but couldn’t stop mummy from doing it as it was useless, they must have been doing sex and it wasn’t the first time so i left them alone and waited outside my home and in the meantime i went to Muslim man shop and asked his workers about owner, they told me he’ll come after 5(which is my school over time), one worker even told me, he is with ur mother and after few hours just before my school over time, i saw Muslim man coming out of my home, i was very very angry to find out my mummy sexual relationship with this guy, how can mummy do that

I went to my mother and informed her all what i saw, i was shocked instead of feeling shame for her relationship she defended herself, i asked her why she is doing this and for how long they r in relationship, she told me, we were friends for some yrs and recently i got attracted towards him and started dating each other, she told me he’s unmarried and ready to marry me, i was shocked and asked her u r already married so why r u in shameful relationship with another man, she told me i just got sick of ur father and want to live my own life

I asked her why r u doing this, Papa is doing everything for u but still u cheated us, she told me that she isn’t happy anymore with Papa as he’s no more Charming at his 45 age, papa is bit bulky, doesnt give time to mummy, mummy told me she needs some leisure time which ur papa no more provides as he’s busy in work and i get bore at home

She told me, she got driven by Muslim man charm and young fit physique, muslim man was quite younger than mummy and was physically sound with good height so mummy told me she loved talking and spending time with him and gradually developed closeness with him

Mummy even lured him through sex and mummy told me i asked him that if he promises to marry me then only i will do sexual relation with him so Muslim man promised mummy to marry and started physical relation, i got they have been doing sex for some 8 months, i got enraged after knowing all these, i wasn’t happy with my mummy relationship so i threatened her and told her i will tell all these to Papa to which she replied she herself wants to tell all these to Papa and wants to divorce him and marry Muslim man, she told me nobody can stop me from doing it as by laws i have rights to divorce and remarry anyone of my choice

She told me she even don’t fear her own parents and ready to live all for that Muslim guy, she told i was living life very lonely, not much leisure time with some ur Papa was getting old and i need someone for leisure so to be with him i will leave all but mummy want my to be with her

Mummy loves my much, me too neither want to leave each other, mummy told me that even her Muslim bf have no problem with me living with them, i was in dilemma, i was helpless, mummy was right, we couldn’t stop her from remarrying as our laws protects her so i knew if mummy decided to marry Muslim bf then we couldn’t do anything except let her be doing

So mummy divorced Papa and i decided to stay with mummy, mummy Muslim bf family also wasn’t agreeing to his marrying an older woman, so mummy bf had him built a separate house and moved there, he has good shop business, money was not a problem so they had a Nikah marriage for which mummy decided to convert and a small reception for closed one, it was a small marriage as many skipped because Muslim man decided to marry an older woman though mummy is very beautiful and fit even at this age

So all went well, mummy is happy and my Muslim step father treats me and mummy well, currently we r living in Muslim dominated area with 3 bhk of my step father own house which he inherited from his father, now mummy too helps my step father at shop store, she spends half day at shop and half at home, both r happy, i had no problem that my step father is a muslim as i dont care much about religion but my only concern was why mummy at this age divorced Papa without any valid reasons or just because she driven by charm of young man, i believe one can do interfaith marriage even conversion for marriage is acceptable to me as due to patriarchy common woman doing interfaith marriage will eventually follow their husband’s culture/faith so mummy converting or not didn’t bother me much as she’s currently pregnant and most probably her to-be children will follow her husband faith/culture due to patriarchy so conversion was not my problem but a married woman cheating and then divorcing and then remarriage is not good especially when she has children from first marriage as they suffer the most just like me, i still feel sad because my biological father and mother r not living together, my step father is good human though he converted mummy and his to be children will be Muslim but he didn’t ask mummy to wear islamic clothes, she still wears saree, both trust each other, i have no problem, I’m still culturally hindu but my mummy lost her hindu identity and culture, she no more does hindu rituals/traditions

So this is how my mummy changed, I’m a man of modern values ethics, always believe in individualism but sometimes individuals rights have its own loopholes just she my mummy has full rights to divorce and Marry anyone but still i believe we should not cross certain limits in name of individuals rights, mummy was not needed to divorce Papa, she could discuss her problems with him but she wanted more leisure even at old age

So friends this is my experience which I’m living with and which question some of my ideologies on individualism and right to choice

so i need ur suggestions on individual rights that can one break all social values in name of individual freedom of choice, can we women n who r mostly target of cultural change due to patriarchy to marry anyone at any given age just because modern laws gives them rights or we should be cautious?

Please provide ur good suggestions on what to do in such situations for me and our readers

Thanks

For other similar cases, visit https://interfaithshaadi.org/my-mother-is-in-relationship-with-a-muslim/

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