Muslim: I want to Marry My Hindu Lover

Ayesha says: May 24, 2021

I belonged to medium religious family i am wearing burqa from when was i 17 years old.
Before some year (almost 2 year ) one boy propose me and I accepted. He is hindu boy from the same college.
After some month we start loving each other. He always want that I wear burqa when did I go his room.
Normally I wear burqa so I always go his room in burqa and they love me.
Now we want marry him but I am worried for how to say to my parents.
I love him very much so please provide ideas how can I convince my parents?

ADMIN says: June 9, 2021

Dear Ayesha,
We love your thought process and admires your pluralistic religious belief. We wish you go out to the world and teach it to all Hindus and Muslims. We hope someday you will write a book on your love story and someone will make a movie on it. We love it!

We paraphrased your pluralistic beliefs here: He (your Hindu boyfriend) will have Shahadah kalma for Nikah and you will have Hindu Vivaha. Further after Shahadah he will continue to be a Hindu and you will continue to be a Muslim. As a “Muslim”, you will wear mangalsutra and sindur. You will participate in Diwali and Holi festivals for your “Hindu” husband. One day you will wear Sari and Bindi and go to a temple to perform pooja. You will also have KarvaChauth for your husband. Hijab on sari is not forbidden and you will continue to wear burka and jeans. Bhagwat Gita and Koran are both holy books. You will teach your children to follow both faiths and cultural practices. No one can follow religion 100%, but one should follow that is practice (but should not be imposed). 

If all Hindus and Muslims (and people of all other faiths too) show such true respect (more than tolerance), this world become a beautiful place to live for all. There will not be any more religious wars and fights and all these money can be used to feed hungry and for needy. Absolutely beautiful!

Now, you and him, both, go to an imam in a different city and explain your plan for marriage. Do not disclose him your name or location. Find out how many of your ideas are acceptable to his vision of Islam. Let us know what you learned. What will you do if you imam and parents don’t buy into your pluralistic ideologies? –Admin

AYESHA says: June 18, 2021

Mr admin sorry to say but I analysis you never support any hindu girl to marry with muslim boy.
Sorry if I am wrong but If I am wrong than show where you support any hindu girl to marry with muslim boy?

ADMIN says: June 23, 2021

Ayesha,
We love to interact with you–that is what intellectuals do—that is to challenge each other on certain viewpoints.

Straight answer to your question, we said in our book in 2017, Kareen Kapoor-Saif Ali Khan’s marriage is an admirable act. Is that sufficient to comfort you? If not, we have made 4,600 comments on this website since 2009. Please cut and paste (and include the URL link) our statement that you found objectionable. We believe whatever we said is in line with our mission statement

At a high level, we are here to promote pluralism. We believe you are also a true pluralist, is that still correct? We hope you will not cave into pressure from your imam and community to ask your Hindu lover to (fake)convert and nurture Islamic supremacist exclusivist ideology.

If Allah comes to you and tell you, “Ayesha, I made you smart and educated. Go do that is most logical and rational. Don’t believe to middlemen (or middlewomen). Whatever you do, use your own brain, not others. I (Allah) will judge you on what YOU do.” If Allah Himself empowered you, what would you do? 

We asked Mac (https://interfaithshaadi.org/muslims-perspective-5-points-hindu-muslim-dating/) to write about his vision of Hindu-Muslim marriage. We request you here to write in 500-1000 words what is your vision of Hindu-Muslim marriage. We are waiting! -Admin

AYESHA says: July 27, 2021

Ya this time I have some hope that my mother will be convince because I show to her very interfaith love movie and now I am telling some my friend story and her reaction is positive.

I want maintain life as a Hindu wife. I am Muslim and I will be wife of a Hindu so I think I should maintain both my life style. I can not avoid responsibility of a Hindu wife. My religion also says that husband and wife should fulfil their responsibility.

AYESHA says: August 24, 2021

After showing interfaith love movies to my mother finally today I told to my mother about my love. She was silence some time and after 1 – 2 minutes, she rejected but when I requested to take some time. What should I do in this time for convince my mother? -Ayesha

AYESHA says: Sept 5, 2021

I told it to my mothers. She said it is haram but if you are love to him then I am ready. You can marry but your father will be not ready, how will you convince your father? -Ayesha

AYESHA says: December 22, 2021

Hello admin,
You have very help us and other many people.
At this time we both started SSC preparations (insaAllah) one will be clear it in first attempt). -Ayesha

AYESHA says: September 7, 2022

Thank you for help till now. Now my boyfriend is very close to get job.

My mother is ready but my father is against of interfaith marriage till now.

Should we do court marrige (after job of my boyfriend)?

When did i discuss with my mother she allowed me for court marrige and said she will allways keep secrets relationship with me and she will try to convince my father for recognise our marriage.

AYESHA saysL September 8, 2022

Yes my in-law family is ready to accept me , yes they want hindu ritual marriage for there son, i am also ready for it i full believe my boyfriend will always stand with me.

I meet with my future mother-in-law she also gave me a gift.

And hope you will reply me till all questions solve. –Ayesha

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92 Comments

  • Ayesha
    September 23, 2022 10:18 am

    May we expect help from you in form of knowledge?

  • Ayesha
    September 8, 2022 10:42 am

    Ya so here I want every type knowledge from you like how can i ragister our marriage.. after it my in law family will do our marry like normal marriage without my family.

    I have deal with my bf we will do nikal without telling much people even my in law family.

    U will face like other girls is facing .
    We will marry when my bf fully get job (very soon)

    • October 7, 2022 2:04 pm

      Keep us posted. Best wishes.

  • Ayesha
    September 8, 2022 9:03 am

    Yes my in law family is ready to accept me , yes they want hindu retual marrige for there son, i am also ready for it i full bilive my boyfriend will allways stand with me.

    I was meet with my future mother in law she also gave me a gift.

    And hope you will reply me till all questions solve

    • September 8, 2022 10:34 am

      Dear Ayesha, the ritual is one thing and registering marriage is another. Legally, the rituals have limited meaning but how you register your marriage with Indian (we assume you are in India) government is more critical. For this reason, first have the marriage register by the Special Marriage Act 1954. After that, you can have vivaha and Nikah (as far there is no conversion–Shahadah oath; which is documented in the Nikah-nama, that is a legal document).

      How will you face your father and Islamic community when they find out you registered to get married under the SPA? Will your mother has daring to speak out then? Is there anyone else in your extended family come in support of you?

      We are happy to see that your mother-in-law is willing to accept you as you are. Is there any issue you see going and living with them immediately after the marriage?

      It is wrong to talk about money but make sure your boyfriend has a good job before you marry him. Further, do your in-laws have a reasonable good living condition for you to accommodate you there if needed? Do not make such decision out of emotions or out of love, but be practical. These points are critical because in case your parents disown you for a few years, you want to make sure you are going to have good quality of married life.

      For sure, do not plan for a child for next two years till all dust settled down.

  • Ayesha
    September 7, 2022 7:12 pm

    Please reply and suggest me how can we we do court marrige .

    • September 8, 2022 7:09 am

      For court marriage, go to your local marriage office (google search) and ask for forms and process. There is a month waiting period after public notification.

      Before you do that, make sure he has good job to support you. Is his family ready to accept you as a Muslim? Have you met them? Do they want a Hindu wedding? Can you live with them, if you have to? Can the boy is strong enough to stand behind you and protect from his parents, if the need be?

  • Ayesha
    September 7, 2022 1:28 pm

    Thank you for help till now.

    Now my boyfriend is very close to get job.

    My mother is ready but my father is against of interfaith marriage till now.

    Should we do court marrige (after job of my boyfriend)?

    When did i discuss with my mother she allowed me for court marrige and said she will allways keep secrets relationship with me and she will try to convince my father for recognise our marriage.

  • Ayesha
    October 10, 2021 7:19 pm

    I want live like this
    https://sharechat.com/post/0ArzK6v?

  • Ayesha
    October 2, 2021 9:16 am

    we are trying to change my father mind but his reaction till now is showing it is big difficult or impossible work than, should we think about court marriage and avoid convince to my father ?

    My mother understood my love and she will be not breake relation with us it is enough for me.

    She say to me if we will be do marriage in court than after marrige she will be allways try to convince my father to accept our marrige.

    Should we start thinking about court marriage?

    And my other question is have you see any family to accept interfaith court marriage

    • Fatima
      October 9, 2021 4:46 am

      Sister Ayesha, but what about Allah and Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), what will you answer to Allah when Allah has made it clear in verse 2:221 of Quran that marriage with idol worshipper is forbidden and lead you to hell fire. But 37:21-22 Allah says wife of idol worshipper will be thrown into hell fire. Will your boy friend come with you after your death to save you from Allah?

      • Fatima
        October 9, 2021 5:13 am

        Quran Chapter 2, verse 221
        “Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.”

        Quran Chapter 37, verse 21 – 23
        [They will be told], “This is the Day of Judgement which you used to deny and
        (God will command the angels), “Gather together the wrong-doers, their wives, and what they had worshipped besides Allah, then guide them to the path of hell.”

        The verse then continues and explain how in that day, your bf will complain to Allah that you didn’t guide him to Islam, but you will also complain to Allah that he misguided you out of Islam, but Allah will reply that both of your misguided each other.

        Chapter 37, Verse 28 – 32
        They will turn to each other saying, others will respond, “It was you who did not want to have any faith. We had no authority over you, in fact, you were a rebellious people. So now has been proved true, against us, the word of our Lord that we shall indeed (have to) taste (the punishment of our sins).”

        Chapter 37:34 Allah says-
        “Verily that is how We shall deal with Sinners.”

        So why let go into waste eternal life of hereafter for this temporary world ? Is this worth it ?

        Fyi, my bf was also Hindu, I introduced him to Islam and he became Muslim, I didn’t compromise on Religion over romance. In fact I guided him to right path as I truly love him and want him in Jannat for eternity. We moved out of India and live in US. You can also move to suitable place if his family creates problem if he decides to accept Islam.

        • Ayesha
          October 9, 2021 6:46 am

          Dear sister
          I love Allah and Islam and I know it is haram but every person of this word are doing some haram work.
          Like you was in the relationship without marriage.
          May you say that was your relationship halal ? Without marriage romantic relationship is also haram.
          Why did you not this about haram when was you in the romantic relationship without marriage?

  • Ayesha
    September 7, 2021 12:13 pm

    For create new post

    Title Title- interfaith marrige has only advanced

    Hello
    Interfaith marriage should be normal because interfaith marrige will stop fight beetween relagion

    When will a child grow with two relagion parents than they can not become anti of any relagion.

    When interfaith marrige will be commen than muslim girl can take experience of become wife of hindu.
    Hindu girl can take experience of become muslim wife.
    Like – I am muslim girl and I am very excited to marry with my hindu boyfriend.

    When muslim will start giving daughter to hindu family and hindu will be start giving daughter to muslim family than any person can not become anti of any relagion.

    • admin
      September 13, 2021 1:22 pm

      Yes, ideally it should increase understandings between two communities, but the reality is different because the youths in love do not have rights to express their wishes. Let’s hope your case is different.

      • Ayesha
        October 2, 2021 9:17 am

        we are trying to change my father mind but his reaction till now is showing it is big difficult or impossible work than, should we think about court marriage and avoid convince to my father ?

        My mother understood my love and she will be not breake relation with us it is enough for me.

        She say to me if we will be do marriage in court than after marrige she will be allways try to convince my father to accept our marrige.

        Should we start thinking about court marriage?

        And my other question is have you see any family to accept interfaith court marriage

      • Ayesha
        December 22, 2021 6:44 pm

        Hello admin
        You have very help us and other many people.
        At this time we both started SSC preparations (insaAllah) one will be clear it in first attempt).

        But are you think about who spread hat here like ex-muslim-nafisha ?

        I think it form is for love , not for hate

        • January 13, 2022 11:56 am

          We wish you the best for your exams. Do you think your family will agree to your relationship?

    • September 8, 2022 7:05 am

      Good thoughts! However the society is not ready at least now. May be later (with your help).

  • Ayesha
    September 7, 2021 11:16 am

    Now I have confidence i will be marry with my hindu boyfriend.

    I very love my boyfriend but I want also feel experience of as a muslim become wife of hindu.

    I have read many answers on qoura so I have very excitement for life like Juhi (https://www.quora.com/profile/Juhi-Kaynat-Khan )

  • Ayesha
    August 24, 2021 10:42 am

    after showing a interfaith love movies to my mother finally today say to my mother about my love.
    She silence some time and after 1 – 2 minutes She rejected but when dud I request she take some time.

    What should I do in this time for convince my mother.

    • August 25, 2021 8:26 pm

      We are glad your mother did not totally trashed you out or acted irrationally. It is nice of her to take come time to think. Always get into a healthy discussion and not fights or heated arguments. Ask her what are concerns she sees. You think it over and later explain it to. her. It is possible she may alert you for issues that you did not thought through. Make her your friend and a consultant. Best wishes.

      • Ayesha
        September 10, 2021 4:14 am

        My mother says when she start this topic my father direct reply interfaith marrige is haram and not good what should I do?
        Please reply i am worried 😟

        • Admin
          September 13, 2021 1:27 pm

          Well, that should be an expected answer. It is not your father but he may be worrying about pressure from his community. It is not going to happen overnight, it is possible we may be still talking a year later here. It is a very slow process.
          As soon as it is possible, find a job and be financially independent? That may help.

          • Ayesha
            September 14, 2021 12:03 pm

            Ya I know it can be take very much time so I can to mother try slowly- slowly to convince father.
            Like I was say and my mother do that my mother one sunil stay movie to my father and discuss about his life and finally say to father that sunil stay wife is muslim
            And when my father say they are calibrates than my mother reply – but they are first human if they are happy than why can not a normal man and women wil live happy (I want not say about this she reply this self ).

            My father did not gave answer.

            I says to my mother allways do joke and try to convince.

            Ya I am start preparing of composition exam.
            I decided if my father will be not ready than I will be do in court.

            I do not know my father will be convince or no but I am happy becuse my mother is supporting me so I have hope if I will be court marrige than she will still love me

            • September 14, 2021 1:05 pm

              This is a beautiful argument, “they are first human if they are happy than why can not a normal man and women wil live happy “. We are wondering where your mother learned so much pluralism and respect for all type teachings? Apparently you learned to respect all from your mother.

              Your father will also come around, it will take some time. Present him rationale arguments (like your mom did) but don’t get into heated fights/arguments. Once your community and imam get involve, your problem will be 10 times more.

              Remain cool and calm, keep going slowly. Get done with your education. Find a well paying job. Be independent. Be proud of who ever you are. Best wishes.

              • Ayesha
                September 15, 2021 5:45 am

                I have no deeply knowledge about my mother and we was never discuss on hindu muslim.
                But according to this time experience I can oy say she is supporting me, she talk with my bf on the on the phone and discuss situations.

                I hope one day my father will convinced

                • Admin
                  September 15, 2021 11:21 am

                  Do you know how your parents got married? Ask her for details. Was it a standard arranged marriage or a love marriage? we are curious if her recent ancestors were Hindus, and thus she is sympathetic to your love.

                  It would be good if your mother go meet the other family. If your mother has any concern about the other family, do respect her views and listen to her carefully. Make sure you father never find out that you have support from your mother, becasue she can get in a big trouble.

                  • Ayesha
                    September 16, 2021 4:17 am

                    I was not know but after discussions with mother I know that her marriage was arrange marrige.
                    Our ancestors can not hindu because we are saikh , and saikh came from saudi..

                  • Ayesha
                    September 16, 2021 8:25 am

                    I was never expect on the I will be discuss with my mother on my boyfriend and she will be friendly discuss with me.
                    She can not meet my future in law family becuse very different beetween my two family ( I have full bilive one they I will part of my in law family ).

                    So she can not travel without saying to father.

                    I do not why but she is very supporting me I do not know why,
                    May be before marrige she was also fail in law with any hindu, because she was say this society allways accept hate between two relagion but never accept love beetween two relagion, she will be happy if I will marry with my boyfriend without face any problem.

          • Ayesha
            October 3, 2021 10:37 am

            He will be participate in SSC CGL and we dicide after his SSC clear we will be marry in court.
            Is it disicion right ?

      • Ayesha
        October 7, 2021 9:34 am

        I am waiting of your reply

        Will court marriage good for us ?

        May mother say after marriage she will be always try to convince my father for accept our marriage.

        My mother is advising me for court marriage.

        My mother said that before marriage my father can not accept but after marriage she will be convince.

        What is your opinion?

        • October 7, 2021 12:55 pm

          For Hindu Muslim couple we always recommend the court marriage. This is the best way forward. After such registration, you have have as many religious marriages later as one wishes.

          Is your boy friend ready for registering under the Special Marriage Act 1954?

          It is amazing that your mother is willing to help you for your happiness. This is very unusual that she is willing to help you all the way. That will make your job lots easy. However, don’t put her in trouble from your father becasue she is help you.

          We always say do that YOU want to do. Parents will come around later. If not today, may be after the child birth. However, that suggestion comes with a higher responsibility on your shoulder that you are going to make 100% right decision on your side. Are you really ready for this marriage?

          Tell us 3 concerns that you have about the boy and his family, especially being Hindus. We want to make sure you do not underestimate those points.

  • Ayesha
    June 12, 2021 5:54 am

    Please delete this article becuse I understood this is helpless now

    • Admin
      June 13, 2021 7:57 am

      This is a public forum with many comments by others. Hope your experience here will help others. Tell us what did you learned or not able to find answers?

      • Ayesha
        September 5, 2021 10:12 am

        My mother say today when I asked what are you saying for our marrige than

        She – it is haram but if you are love to him than I am ready you can marry but your father will be not ready, how will you say to your father?

        I say – mom this time you are understanding love is important.

        She – yes

        Than pleass convense to daddy

        Ammi – how ?

        I – show interfaith love movie and discuss about this.

        She – OK shall try.

        Now I am waiting for my father convince.
        Have any other idea to convince to my father?

        My mother has convinced so my mother will help me so if you have any idea than tell me.

        • Chithra
          September 6, 2021 7:52 pm

          if u both r consenting adults, and truly love eachother and want to get married then just get married…stop this drama of showing parents “interfaith love movie” to convince them, and please improve ur english in the meantime

          • Admin
            September 6, 2021 9:16 pm

            Ayesha, we are proud of your English, do not be bothered by above comment. We are not Cambridge University running English literature test. May be that party may be a colonial Britisher proud of her mother language.
            Further, we feel your pain. We see you are in a very difficult situation. You are dependent on your parents and plus you care about them, thus we agree to your strategy to slowly convenience your parents. Hindu-Muslim marriage/relationship is not a small deal to convince parents in a few weeks.

          • Ayesha
            September 7, 2021 10:47 am

            I am love both so I want take both love.

        • September 6, 2021 9:24 pm

          Ayesha, we are surprised but happy that your mother is cooperative. Does she have any Hindu relatives or close friends being Hindu? Apparently she is not carrying any anti-Hindu feelings (like they are kaafir).

          Ask you mother what will be father’s concerns. Write them down and try your strategy how you will convince him address those concerns. Have your father expressed anti-Hindu sentiments or any Islamic exclusivist (meaning only Islam is true faith and a way to go to heaven) ideologies in your home. It is good to know what are his thinking process.

          Along with working on your parents’ side, are you 100% sure there will not be any new issues from the boy side? Do not count on what the boyfriend is telling you, go meet his family personally and feel out truth.

          • Ayesha
            September 7, 2021 10:58 am

            Yes my mother have many hindu friends. My father have also hindu friends.
            He never say any anti hindu sentiment.

            But marry marry me to hindu can be big deal for him.

            I am happy that my mother is ready.

            I am say to my mother talk about hindu muslim marrige, topic , show movies and try to convince and when will be happen when Ayesha (you know my real name ) will fall in love with Hindu boy ?

            I hope my mother will convince my father like I convince my mother.

            May you talk in hindi?.

      • Ayesha
        October 8, 2021 8:00 pm

        Thank for helping us.

        Ya he is ready for court marriage.

        I know mother help for interfaith marriage is very uncommon and deficult but I am very happy because she is helping us.

        I am not underestimating any this i am analyzing some muslim girl life after marry with hindu.

        I seen where both (girl and boy ) did some compromise than she is happy.

        I shared to you a qoura user profile (just khayanat khan ) she is happy.
        She calibrate hindu festival I will be also do this.
        I think it will be best experience when I will be calibrate both religion festival..

        I am ready to where saare , mangalsutra etc.

        Than may you provide list of questions mark ?

        I read and reply of your 5 point concerns,

  • SB Sinha
    June 10, 2021 2:21 pm

    Please do not publicise this poor woman’s situation. I feel you have taken a right step in educating her but her beliefs are strong.

    • June 10, 2021 4:13 pm

      Ayesha is an educated and intellectual woman. She can decide herself for what is right for her. We are here to make her think on some practice points that she may not have thought about. Ultimately, she is in charge of her life and destiny.

    • Ayesha
      July 27, 2021 11:09 pm

      Ya this time I have some hope that my mother will be convence becuse I show to her very interfaith love movie and now I am telling some my friend story and her reaction is possitive.

      • July 28, 2021 10:25 am

        Hello Ayesha, we are very glad to hear from you. Show your mother about the best example, that is of Soha Ali Khan’s marriage to a Hindu. They are living a very happy married life and have a lovely young daughter. There is no conversion and both are managing respect for both faiths. This is an admirable example.

        What are chances your father may agree? Is he religious or more of stubborn minded (who does not give too much value to your mother’s views)?

        Let’s assume your parents and relatives are all happy and say–go for it! How about the boy’s Hindu family? You have said they are open minded, but have to meet and interacted enough with them to know them really who they are. Without being love-blinded, can you see yourself fit in that family and live their ways all your life (again, be practical and not emotional out of your love)?

        Please come and comment on this website and help others. Teaching is the best way to learn or educate yourself. When you tell others, it will help clear in your own mind what is right and wrong. This experience here will help you immensely in your life, for what ever you decide to do for your current relationship. We wish you the best.

        • Ayesha
          July 28, 2021 12:34 pm

          Yes I am telling about successful hindu muslim marrige.
          This time it is hard to say my father will be connve or not but I bilive on my mother if she will be convince than she can convince my father.

          Yes I can set in his house becuse I have no problem to do Pooja, calibrate hindu festivals, almost I am ready fullfill my all responsibilities so I think I will be not feel any problem in his house.

          • July 28, 2021 1:11 pm

            An exclusivist would say you cannot do Pooja and celebrate Hindu festivals since this is Islam’s fundamental belief “LA ILAHA ILLALLAH Muhammadur Rasulullah” that “There is absolutely no deity worthy of worship except Allah, and Mohamed is the Messenger of Allah.” How would you explain to them for what you are doing in the Hindu home it is not against “no deity worthy of worship except Allah”?

            • Ayesha
              July 28, 2021 6:54 pm

              Ya I know but I want maintain life as a Hindu wife.
              I am muslim and I will be wife of hindu so I think I should maintain both my life style.

              I can not avoid responsibility of hindu wife.

              • July 31, 2021 1:32 pm

                You said earlier that you will have Nikaah and he is willing to change his religion for it. After conversion, you both Muslims will practice Hinduism!! Apparently you are doing all these rituals just to please parents and communities, and not due to your faith(s). Normally we recommend couples to be honest and truthful, but understand here you have limitations. We believe this practice of religious conversion for marriage is wrong. People should have liberty to follow their faith(s) how ever way they feel fit at that time.

                • Ayesha
                  July 31, 2021 1:44 pm

                  Ya I said we will be nikah and he is ready but I did never said he will change his relagion.
                  Nikah means never he will change his relagion.
                  I will be also hindu ritual marrige but I will be still muslim.

                  No I am nothing doing only for his/my parents happy if I want calibrate depwali, etc mean it is love for my boyfriend and I also take enjoy of muslim and hindu both festivals.
                  I have no any problems to do Pooja or go mandir because it is love for my lover and I want also take enjoy of interfaith marrige.
                  If we will be separate than I will be also do this.
                  I know it is haram but according to Islam husband/wife should be full fill there responsibility.

                  So as I hindu wife I will be fulfill acoueding to his need.

            • Ayesha
              July 28, 2021 7:01 pm

              My relagion also say that husband and wife should fullfill there responsibility.

  • June 9, 2021 10:14 am

    Dear Ayesha,
    We love your thought process and admires your pluralistic religious belief. We wish you go out to the world and teach it to all Hindus and Muslims. We hope someday you will write a book on your love story and someone will make a movie on it. We love it!

    We paraphrased your pluralistic beliefs here: He (Hindu) will have Shahadah kalma for Nikah and you will have Hindu Vivaha. Further after Shahadah he will continue to be a Hindu and you will continue to be a Muslim. As a “Muslim”, you will wear mangalsutra and sindur. You will participate in Diwali and Holi festivals for your “Hindu” husband. One day you will wear Sari and Bindi and go to a temple to perform pooja. You will also have KarvaChauth for your husband. Hijab on sari is not forbidden and you will continue to wear burka and jeans. Bhagwat Gita and Koran are both holy books. You will teach your children to follow both faiths and cultural practices. No one can follow religion 100%, but one should follow that is practice (but should not be imposed).

    If all Hindus and Muslims (and people of all other faiths too) show such true respect (more than tolerance), this world become a beautiful place to live for all. There will not be any more religious wars and fights and all these money can be used to feed hungry and for needy. Absolutely beautiful!

    Now, you and him, both, go to an imam in a different city and explain your plan for marriage. Do not disclose him your name or location. Find out how many of your ideas are acceptable to his vision of Islam. Let us know what you learned. What will you do if you imam and parents don’t buy into your pluralistic ideologies?

    • Ayesha
      June 9, 2021 11:19 am

      Thanks

      I love hindu boy so I should fullfill my responsibility.

      I see in this society hindu , muslim and all religions boy almost they converte his wife to his relagion but my boyfriend allways think oppose this and say that he will be happy with muslim wife.

      I also very love him and I know I will be very happy with my hindu husband.

      I discuss with many pepole so I can say if we will be ask from imam that if boy will converte than marrige is possible.
      So we plan fake converting.
      I do not understand meaning of pluralistic.
      If you are telling about fake converte.

      I have full bilive when we will be say he is ready to become muslim than they will be permit us

      After marry I will be live in husband house so they can not watch what will be I do .

      I can easily calibrate hindu festivals i can easily go temple , wear mangalsutra because they can not watch us and I will live with my husband.

      When interfaith arrange marrige will be normal than religious war will be stop because only love can stop fight

      • June 9, 2021 11:55 am

        Agree, “religious war will be stop because only love can stop fight” but normally parents and religious leaders will not let you reach to the leve of “When interfaith arrange marriage will be normal.” Let’s see how it goes in your case.

        Pluralism means believing all religions are valid and should be respected the way they are. The counter word is “Exclusivism“, where such religious people believe that “there is only One God and that is mine” and all other religious beliefs are wrong or have problems (but mine is perfect). Apparently, you, the boy and his family are pluralist. Now go find out what your imam and parents are.

        We do not mean to discourage you, however we are here to educate all youths for practical matters that we have observed while guiding 1200 other youths. Best wishes.

        • Ayesha
          June 9, 2021 6:21 pm

          Ya today parents, and other relegues people are pain feel when any girl marry with other relagion boy. But when people will be see many interfaith marrige than there mind will be set.

          Due to this relagion I am showing every day interfaith love story to my mom.
          And tell our friends story

          If my parents not in Agree with my Pluralism ideology than no problem becuae I will never tell about my Pluralism idolgy and I will be done my responsibility in my husband house.
          And when I will be come to mother house I will be side mangalsutra etc and when will go husband house I will be start my life wife of hindu husband.

          I know only one thing I love my boyfriend and family both and both are my responsibility so I will fulfill my both side responsibility.

          You have 1200 love experience so tell me any time muslim girl parents convince?

          • Admin
            June 9, 2021 9:10 pm

            Yes, we have seen a very few cases where the Muslim parents agreed. However, in these cases, the girl was financially independent and not living with parents at the time of marriage. That is why we are saying, this is a long term plan. Do not rush. Collect all knowledge now. Convince your parents, if they are with you, you are set. Best wishes.

        • Ayesha
          June 9, 2021 6:43 pm

          I am seeing only tow option

          (1) convince family for marry with hindu boy

          (2) fake converting

          If you have third option so please tell me.

          I know any imam will be not permit to marry hindu boy until I show fake converting..

          • June 10, 2021 10:19 am

            (3) Follow #1. If that does not work, when you are financially independent, get married by the special marriage Act 1954. Parents will not like it but they will realise reality of life later (especially after you have a child).

            This site does not endorse (2). Honest is the best policy–in life for anything you do. Only weak minded people will (try to) lie and deceive others.

            • Ayesha
              June 11, 2021 3:13 pm

              Your 3rd option in not good.
              If I want financial independence than my family help is necessary.
              And after taking help. What will be I gave to them ? Only pain ?

              They always help me so I can not not gave pain

    • Ayesha
      August 10, 2021 12:04 pm

      I think every interfaith lover should read this qoura girl https://www.quora.com/profile/Juhi-Kaynat-Khan answers on interfaith marrige prosnaly I am very inspired from juhi.

  • madhu
    June 8, 2021 2:40 pm

    Ayesha,

    You are a good woman/girl. You are thinking of parents, your friend and his parents as well.

    As an outside in this , here is what I think

    Your boy friend’s parents are welcoming and only thing they want is Hindu Cermony.
    They are not even objecting if you want to have Muslim ceremony.

    Think of their broadmindedness.
    But having Muslim ceremony means your boyfriends has to convert , even if it is for the namesake.
    Do you want him to do that ?
    But a Hindu ceremony will not involve your conversion.

    Are you willing to have Hindu Marriage only ?
    His parents’s are open minded. Will your parents be so openminded to accept a son-in-law who will remain Hindu ?

    Now there is a possibility that in-laws would be ok if you want to read Koran or keep fast for Eid etc.
    Will your parents be OK if you want to go to the temple , do Ganesh Puja because that is that in-laws would do at home and after being married you are part of their family as well.

    You would want to be part of the family who are open minded about your previous background and future interests. — may be job, education etc. Don’t you ?

    If you two want to stay separate from both parents also, what would you want to do in your life with your friends. Do you want to go to temple, celebrate Puja, festivals like Dussera,Diwali etc. Do you want to make all that part of your future children’s life as well or not.

    Thnik about all these things.
    As Admin said, these things take time to crystallize in the mind. So let it. Focus on the education for now. Get a good job , be financially independent . This is required so that neither of the parents can force to do anything. Both of you will be free to take just decision that would work for both

    • Ayesha
      June 8, 2021 5:55 pm

      I not agree if he will be muslim crrmany means convert.
      I will be also participate in hindu ceremonies, dipawali, holy.
      And I know time as a daughter in law of hindu family i will be go to mandir and do Pooja etc.
      Then if I am not converted then how he will be converted?
      We has decided we will be marry two times–one nikah and second hindu vivaha.

      I am trying to so my mom mind for accepting hindu boy as a muslim if they not convince then I have only option I will be tell them that my boyfriend converted.
      Almost 40 km – 50 km distance in both houses (my parents and my boyfriend)
      Then my parents will not see what is we doing in my husband house.

      I want to be nice with his parents because he is only child in his family and I want not his son out from their house.

    • ayesha
      June 8, 2021 10:28 pm

      And if we will be live separately tham I can also not avoid my responsibilities.
      If other hindu man wife karwachauth etc for her husband than why my husband will be not feel my love at karwachauth?
      If other hindu man wife go temple with her husband in any special day (festivals ) than why my husband will not feel this happy.

      I know he will be never tell but I can not avoide my responsibility and I also know he will be also fullfill his responsibility.

  • Ab
    June 8, 2021 12:51 pm

    First check with your Muslim parents what are their opinions about your marriage….

    1. If yes to Hindu guy ..then you can proceed.
    2. If No to Hindu…then talk to your Hindu BF, friends, women’s groups and take their help…build some support base for your self and then reapproach your parents.

    3. If still No, then get Court married under special marriage case both of you maintain your religions… at least for one Year or so….take time to reflect and reassess.
    4. If all goes well become a Hindu DIL and enjoy Life.

    • Ayesha
      June 9, 2021 8:53 pm

      In your 4th point are you saying become hindu?

      We both hate converting and your type people.

      If any muslim guy converte his wife than love jehad than what will you say about 4th point.

      I love my hindu boyfriend and I respect hindutism but I also very love to my relagion and family so never try misguide me.

      • June 10, 2021 10:22 am

        We are 100% with you, Ayesha. People should remain who ever they are. The “expectation of religious conversion for marriage” is an immoral practice and should end.

        • Ayesha
          June 10, 2021 6:57 pm

          Thank but I think we should deleate this article and my comment (before this article) may you do this ?

          • Admin
            June 11, 2021 9:58 am

            Sure, summaries here all that you wish to say about ideal Hindu-Muslim marriage. We will post it above on top. We will invite all to debate on it. Is that a good plan?

            • Ayesha
              June 11, 2021 2:57 pm

              Yes

              Coming for very good idea but I see here very few time people code to discuss. Normally when any non Muslim come here than the was convertinh

  • Aditi
    June 8, 2021 12:44 pm

    You mentioned “I will be only one haram work marry with non Muslim but I bilive Allah will forgive me becuse I very love Islam.”
    -Will it be haram to participate in the Hindu festivals with your inlaws and their families?
    -Will it be okay for your kids to participate in Hindu festivals enjoy singing/dancing in a kirtan- and reading Gita and Quran side by side and decide what works for them as your husband will be Hindu even if Muslim in namesake?
    – Will Allah forgive you for above?
    -Will it be okay if your boy doesn’t do a circumscision or a girl dresses up western ?
    -Marrying is just the beginning, there will be various things haram that you will need to make decisions about in the future.

    Dear, I just want to be not conflicted about these things years later, and be guild trapped. Spend as much time as possible with your inlaws and slowly learn about their expectations and thinking processes, and imagine how your life will be 10 years down the line with him and his family.

    • Ayesha
      June 8, 2021 10:56 pm

      According to Quran after marry husband, wife both should care of each others so I will be participate hindu religious festivals, etc so I am doing for husband.

      And what will be my kid do it will be there not my Islam say
      Islam can not impose by force.
      And reading bhagwat Gita etc is not haram.

      And circumcision in not mandatory work it is only sunnah.
      I also wear jeans under my burqa my parents never stop me.
      I will be say to my daughter were hijab.
      And if she will be not do than it is not my religion because Islam can not impose by force.
      And if she will be wear than it will be good I full believe any person of my family not feel problem.

  • June 8, 2021 11:24 am

    We read all what you said. Your main concern is how to convince your family. However, note it is not going to be done overnight, it may take 1-3 years or even, you may be able to convince them ever. We don’t know.

    As we said, focus on your studies now and later, get a good job. Once you are in charge of your own life, parents will be less in control of your life. They are still your parents and, after marriage, you can still love them equally. Meantime, you let your current life go as is (we assume it is a fun life!). Leave tension on Allah’s head and trust he will take care of you ultimately.

    To educate your parents, first you have to know what Islam is all about. When they argue that Koran 2:221 says you cannot marry a non-Muslim, what would you reply? I have answered it one or the other times at https://www.youtube.com/c/InterfaithShaadi/videos . Basically you say, are all words written in the Koran true and correct? If so, why all Muslims don’t perform namaz five times a day and follow Koranic teachings literally? Tell her that you do not believe the Koran literally as it is (check if you agree to these https://interfaithshaadi.org/koran-on-hindus/).

    Ask your mother what she feels about Soha Ali Khan? Read more “Saif’s sister Soha Ali Khan who married a Hindu gave their daughter the first name Inaaya, based on the Koran, and the second name Naumi because the baby girl was born on September 29, 2017, which was the auspicious occasion of Mahanavami (ref). Inaaya can sing even Gayatri mantra, ties rakhi to Taimur and has a Hindu nanny.” at https://interfaithshaadi.org/saif-and-kareena-marriage-and-faiths/

    • Ayesha
      June 8, 2021 11:04 pm

      Ya I fully believe all verse of Quran is correct. If any not pray 5 tome etc means they are not priticle muslim.
      Any religion not all flowers can follow perfectly.
      I am also disagree with you at your post on Quran on Hinduism but here we are discussing other topic so we should avoid new discussing topic.

      Ya I am showing to my mom hindu muslim love story serial and movies

  • June 7, 2021 3:17 pm

    Dear Ayesha,
    College life and real life are different. In college others will support interfaith marriage because it is cool. The society will get after you, problems will continue even after having children.

    You said you are from a medium religious family. What does that mean to you? Have you read Koran? Do you believe in teaching in it? Do you believe there is Allah watching your every move and will punish you on the Judgment Day if you do not follow prescribed practices? If you are religious, it is time to end this relationship.

    If you are not religious, still you will have to deal with your family and society. That you can get around if you are educated and in control of your life. It is better to focus on your studies now and get your degree and job. Did the boy’s parents ready to accept you? Go meet them. After all these are clear, then only think of getting married.

    Convincing your parents, normally they will not agree. However, if you are firm in your decision and after a year or two of constant struggle, they may come to terms. Tell them this boy is better than most boys in your community (have supporting evidences). If Kareena and Saif can live happily, why not you? Let us know what you wish to do and we can talk more later. Best wishes.

    • Ayesha
      June 7, 2021 3:38 pm

      Yes I readed Quran and try to follow and I bilive allah is watching us.
      But I also love him so I can not leve him.

      After discuss with many people I have a idea now I am showing interfaith love movies and serials to my mom and try to set his min.

      When I will sure I set her mind than I will be tell to my mom one hindu boy propose me in metomerial website and we are dating or I will be direct say I love hindu boy
      And if I show she is not agree than I will be say “he is ready convert to Islam (it is not real I will tell a lie ) and we both show he is really converted to Islam than may be my parents permit us to marry after marrige he will be follow hindutism and I will be follow Islam.
      We will be follow our self relagion but we will be also fullfill aur our responsibility like if they need me in his relagion than I will be participate in his relagion (I know it is haram but it will be my responsibility so I will be tauba and according to Islam Allah forgive if any do tauba,)

      I am ready to wear saree , mangalsutra I will be use hijab on saree. (It is not forbidden)

      I will be only one haram work marry with non Muslim but I bilive Allah will forgive me becuse I very love Islam.

      Is this idea good or not please suggest me

      • June 7, 2021 4:22 pm

        You are very honest and respectful to others. You are an innocent human being falling in love as per wishes of Allah (it has to meant that way, otherwise Allah would have stopped you). It is normal and natural things for two youths fall in love and thus you are normal person (in eyes of Allah?)

        Above is well and good, but unfortunately people use religion for political and vote power reasons. You want it or not, they will impose their ideologies on two of you. It is not easy to get around these, thus be prepared to face it (or better give up now).

        The fake-conversion that you mentioned are not that easy. Those Imams know it well. They will want the boy to convert (shahadah) before Islamic nikaah and register your marriage as such with the Government of India. After that, all Muslim laws will apply to your marriage, meaning he can have 4 wives and talaak easy for the man, not the woman. Further, Imam will insist you not have the Hindu wedding. Check with his parents if they are okay with it.

        Best option is to continue being honest to all (especially to your parents, imam and Allah). Lies and deception as a foundation of marriage is not a good idea, we believe. Instead of imposing conversion on him, go get married by the Special Marriage Act 1954 (like Kareena-Saif). If their parents are happy, yours should too!

        • Ayesha
          June 7, 2021 4:47 pm

          I want marry with him and if my family will be not convinced tha what will I do ?
          I want not not go against my family.

          Than if my family will not convince than I have only option tell lie to my family.

          I know imam will be chack but he have not problem with two line sentences (kalma sahadat )

          I am shia muslim and in the shia and in the shia muslim divorce rule is same for boy and girl.

          Triple Talaq is not part of Islam it is only part of hamfi muslim.

          And today almost people doing only one marrige.

          I have not any problem with sriya law but if anytime he or his family feel problem than we will be say to court (without knowing my family) he again became hindu.

          Is it good ? If not than please suggest how to convince my family.

          • June 7, 2021 5:12 pm

            We understand your pain. You are thinking practical way and that is appropriate. Most important thing you can do now is 1) remain a friend with him, 2) do not rush to get married till both sets of parents agree. Actually we highly recommend to get married after your college and may be even after finding a job, 3) meantime educate yourself by reading and viewing all videos and material we suggested above.

            Considering you are an intellectual person, we are sure you will find a solution that is acceptable to all. However, do not rush to any decision now. For now, just enjoy your life as is.

        • Ayesha
          June 7, 2021 10:48 pm

          May you provide any way to convince my family?

          • Rehan
            October 5, 2021 6:20 am

            Hey Ayesha(a fake hindu man id) hahah u can fool stupid Admin and other hear but not us real Muslim. U r making stories with fake id. I read ur comments and am 100% sure u r a hindu with fake id with very poor English hahahha.

            Typical hindu fake id people who choose Ayesha name hahah bcz this name is commonly discussed by hatemonger hindu right wings hahahah so stop making fake stories with fake Muslim girl name also u said u r a Shia Muslim lol hey Hindu fake id u must get good knowledge of Islam before making fake Muslim id hahha no Shia will ever name their girls ‘Ayesha’ hahaha Shia hates Ayesha and love Fatema (Daughter of Muhammad) hey fake id hindu hahah get this knowledge may be helpful for u in making another fake Muslim ids in future hahahahaha. Bye fake people

            • Ayesha
              October 5, 2021 7:05 am

              I want justicefy anything here I am here only for answer of my questions.
              And kind for your information I want say my real name is different but admin gave me this name due to privacy reason

            • Ayesha
              October 5, 2021 7:06 am

              ** I want not justify anything here

          • October 7, 2021 1:19 pm

            Ayesha does not have to justify anything to you. We need to trust people for what they are saying. Even not, they are not asking for money from you, so trust them.

    • Ayesha
      June 7, 2021 4:16 pm

      Yes lover parents ready to accept me there daughter in law without converting.
      They say o should marry according to hindu mores if my parents di nikah ys than they have no any problem but when will be go there house we should also marry according to hindu mores only this is demand of my future mother and father in law and I am ready to fill full there demand

      • June 7, 2021 5:01 pm

        Wow, what a difference that they said, “Yes lover parents ready to accept me there daughter in law without converting.” They (Hindus) are accepting you as who you are and do not want to fake or fool someone. That’s superb. Now convince the same to your parents (Muslims) since they are open minded.

        At personal level, make your relationship with Allah a personal matter. When you are confused for what to do, don’t run to Imam or pandit asking, “what will Allah (or Isvar) want me to do?” They will find ways to create more trouble for you and your married life. Instead use your own brain and get direct guidance from God (one to one, no middleman). I hope this is logical and a common sense, is this not?

        You may purchase my e-book from Amazon https://www.amazon.in/Interfaith-Marriage-Share-Respect-Equality-ebook/dp/B072C5DL5N/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1587319217&sr=8-3 and it will give you many points to think over.

        If you have questions on Hinduism, visit https://www.hinduspeakers.org/faqs/

        • Ayesha
          June 7, 2021 5:18 pm

          Yes they are ready with one demand we will be marry with hindu mores and full fill responsibility of daughter in law in hindu family.

          And I am ready to accept there demand i am also ready to wear saree , mangalsutra, and sendur they not tell this but normally I see hindu marride girl in this pose.
          but how to convince my family is my methods is strong and it will succefull ?
          Again I am saying my method i M showing interfaith love movies and serials to my mom for set her mind for hindu muslim marrige.

          My backup plan was fake conversion but you tell this is not good.

          Than pleasure tell me plan B aur backup plan.

          I will be buy your boon today.l

          • Ayesha
            June 7, 2021 5:21 pm

            you are telling I should enjoy till job but how can I avoid tension how will be I convince my family.

            • Sutailya
              March 31, 2024 6:51 pm

              I saw a loophole that can be remedy for your problem, there’s a community called Ahl-e Haq(nicknamed as Yarsans) whom the mainstream Ayatollah Shia clerics kept labelling as a type of independent Shia in their fatwas even though Yarsans have a different holy book. If your fiancée temporarily converts to their community then your parents will presume that he is a protestant type of Shia so they won’t be worried too much if you are Sunni since they will just think it’s a different faction and that you can still follow whatever madhab you are in. While your fiancée after the wedding may freely comeback to his faith since Yarsans don’t believe in punishment for leavers of their community in this life and afterlife since they believe in rebirth of soul to another family(same as other Dharma faiths). You both may marry in an Ayatollah Shia mosque or in wherever venue by their imam if he was Yarsan since Ayatollah clerics allow intermarriage between them. Yarsans don’t have an actual religious building since they freely rotate their religious ceremony in different houses of their followers who volunteered their house as venue for the week. Here’s the fatwa that allows intermarriage between them↘️ https://www.makarem.ir/main.aspx?typeinfo=21&lid=0&catid=46906&mid=263048
              You just register your marriage certificate from that wedding. While you may do a Hindu wedding for the part of your in-laws but just for ceremonial purpose, no need to register it at the government. Let the Hindu wedding happen first so that it will not cause tension between your parents if the next wedding is held at the ayatollah shia mosque. Just tell your parent that the Hindu wedding will not be registered and it’s only to bind the two clans together socially.

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