Muslim_girl says: September 24, 2012 at 1:31 am
Hi K,
I am a Muslim girl in a relationship with a Hindu guy.
I am from Pakistan and have traditional parents, and he’s from India.
We both love each other to no measurable extent. We’re also fairly agnostic, and he’s also completely anti-dogmatic.
My family got to know about us and are completely against us.
I am very close to my family, but at the same time do not share the same belief and thoughts as they do. I am in a state where I don’t want to hurt my family (so much that it affects their health) but at the same time, I have no good reason to leave my boyfriend – he’s the best thing that has happened to me.
My question to you is, how did the two of you (I assume you were in love) manage to end your relationship? Were you not emotionally attached? I can’t even imagine being without the love of my life. -Muslim_girl
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Admin says: January 16, 2013 at 6:14 am
Dear Muslim_girl,
We recommended you two to read some of above articles. Let us know what is the progress? We hope you did not ask him to convert to Islam (convert a rose to carnation!).
You said, “We’re also fairly agnostic, and he’s also completely anti-dogmatic.” and you want to please your parents; these two will be difficult. This Shahadah for Nikaah is completely dogmatic. -Admin
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Muslim_girl says: January 17, 2013 at 11:59 pm
Hi Admin,
Thanks for putting this out.
Well, we’re both still in college (altho I’m 22 and he’s 26). We both don’t plan on getting married for a few more years and in order to prevent my life and my parents life from becoming hell, I told my parents I have broken up with him. I’m still with him, though.
What I’m thinking for now is for both of us to complete our education and get settled in our lives. That will be a time when parents may respect the decisions we make in our lives. My parents could act the exact same way as they did now but if I truly believe I want to be with my bf, I may make a tough decision. It just saddens me that my parents (like a lot of other parents in this situation) seem to threaten us with their health and what they could do to themselves if we make this decision. It will also sadden me that they might not grace me with their presence on our wedding, but I would’ve given them the choice.
What I’m hoping for is for them to come around so we could get married in both the Islamic way and the Hindu way, of which I have no problems to. My bf also suggests a civil union and if things seem too out of hand, it is what we might resort to. But all of this is at least 3 years in the future, and I’m trying to think about it anymore for now.
If you have more suggestions, please do tell us about them!
Thanks. -Muslim_girl
Muslim_girl added: January 21, 2013 at 4:07 am
As much as I understand your concerns, you have to for once think above religion and realize that we’re both agnostic people. So for us, if we marry with some kind of rituals or without, it serves the same purpose. if we do not follow a religion, it doesn’t mean we cannot fulfill some wishes of our loved ones given these wishes don’t eat us up.
if i marry in a hindu way because his parents have spent their lives dreaming about their kids’ weddings, it won’t turn my heart into a hindu. i will still be who i am. but I can do this for his parents because we love them and would want to do something that is not so hard to take on ourselves. similarly, if he tells i’m ready to marry in an islamic way or even has to say the words that he’s a muslim to my parents, then it doesn’t make him a muslim. he will remain who he is. his ways and thoughts in life do not change with the mere idea of keeping someone’s heart. and the idea that my parents will meddle in our lives and want us to follow the islamic way.
then my friends, we live in the US. and we live in the 21st century. most parents only want the happiness of their kids and once they see their kids grown up, they too give up their advising and meddling. just because on my wedding day i choose to take 7 rounds and my husband chooses to say “i accept her” wouldn’t change the 2 of us. so please stop all this “would you want him to convert”. rise above the differences. we’re not religious people so every religion is the same for us. -Muslim_girl
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Admin says:
Dear Muslim_girl,
We have created this web site for intellectuals to debate on IM-WE (Interfaith Marriage with Equality). We try to stimulate youths to think what they are up to and we are confident that it will help you make “informed” decision for your life, what ever that decision may be. Let us evaluate you situation critically.
WEDDINGS
You want Hindu and Islamic weddings. This means for the Islamic Nikaah the Hindu must to convert to Islam by Shahadah oath. After conversion, you will have Muslim-to-Muslim marriage by Hindu rituals, performed by a Hindu priest and in presence of all celebrating Hindus. Will those Hindus ever know what they were celebrating?
Two Muslims, you and your newly converted boy friend, will sit in a Hindu Vivaah where multiple Gods and Goddess will be invoked from heaven, earth and water. Both you Muslims will perform murti pooja (idol worship) to please Hindu Gods. Will your parents and relatives be happy to see all these?
Are you doing all these because you are a true pluralist? Or this is the only way to convert that Hindu to Islam? If your intention is only cultural-Nikaah, we could recommend you someone in USA who will perform Nikaah without Shahadah. Any interest?
We think the best option for you is the civil wedding (honesty, instead of lies and deceptions).
SHAHADAH
After circumcision, your Hindu boyfriend will be asked to go to an Imam alone where the imam will make him take the oath that “There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is THE messenger of Allah.” This will be documented as legal evidence of his conversion. Is that Hindu really mean this, or for him this is clearly a premeditated lie to fool your parents, the Imam and Islamic institution?
Hindus also believe in one Allah (Ekam sad vipra bshuda vadanti -Rigveda 1.164.46), but why you want your boy friend to endorse that “Muhammad (not Buddha, not Krishna, not Jesus) is THE messenger of Allah”?
Please ask your boyfriend to read Koran on Hindus? and all that is written by Muslim women on Islamic Women Today, Hymen Repair Surgery and Hadith for Hindus? about Muhammad. Is he really ready to endorse Muhammad?
Conversion to Islam is not an ON-OFF switch. You know that punishment for denouncing Islam is stoned to death. Have you really explained him that Shahadah is an irreversible religious conversion?
TO PLEASE PARENTS
You said you are doing all these to please both sets of parents. How they will feel the day when they find out truth? Why to make lies and deception a foundation of your long (short?) lasting married life? Why you look for relationships with a short vision. Why not to take steps that are right things to do, they may be upsetting now, but in a long run they will be proud of you (that you are not a lier).
YOUR CHILDREN
What will be names of your children, Arabic or Hindu or neutral? Are they going to have circumcision, even there is no major scientific merit to it? Are you planning to teach them from Hadith, Koran, Geeta and Ramayana? Are you planning to take your children to a darga on Fridays and to a mandir on Saturdays? When there are conflicting teachings, how are you planning to explain them? Later, are you expecting your Muslim children to marry to other Hindus and convert them to Islam (till no more Hindus left to convert)?
ARE YOU AN AGNOISTIC OR AN OPPORTUNIST?
Considering you are in USA, it is likely that you may have dated to guys from many faiths. Probably you may have avoided Muslim guys because you do not want to put up with all Islamic expectations (read Islamic Women Today) or do not like to display bloody bed sheet. You may have avoided marrying to a Jew because they will demand for Bris/Bar Mitzvah and will not take the Shahadah. You may have turn down a Christian because for their church wedding they will make you sign pre-Nuptial to raise children only Christian. So, if you don’t like all these Abrahamic exclusivist practices, only choice left for you is pluralist Dharmic boys. So, was it by chance or by design that you found a Hindu?
ARE YOU AN EXCLUSIVIST, PLURALIST OR AN AGNOSTIC?
Islam is absolutely a monotheist, exclusivist and supremacist religion and there is no place there for a polytheist, pluralist, idol worshipper Hindu (even Hindu in-laws) in there. Probably that is why you want him to convert to Islam. Further, any agnostic, like you, that doubt Allah-Muhammad pair, has also no place in Islam. So, why are you trying to make a pluralist or agnostic to an exclusivist by the Shahadah?
If you are ready to lie to parents to please them, why don’t you formally convert to Hinduism (Arya Samaj or Hare Krishna will help you) on the same day your Hindu bf convert to Islam. Now it is equality and fair to all, is it not?
WHAT IF THERE IS A CHANGE OF MIND
At a later age, most people go back to their roots. What if you realize the beauty of Islam and become like DEE’s wife (and start calling him kaafir)? What if later he wants to be a true Hindu; can he renounce Islam without a threat to his life? Can he get his circumcised skin-tip back?
Bottom line, we recommend not to follow that you suggested, “try to get around their parents in the least painful way”, instead, in your words, “rise above the differences”. Like Dr. K did, instead of making lies and deception as a foundation of your married life, you should, in your words, “get away from each other” and marry to a nice Muslim boy.
Like you said, “we live in the 21st century”, so go do that the whole world will be proud of you for what you did, rather than your current plans to fool every one.
We know this is very hard for a 22 years old, but these silos are made by religious leaders for their self interest and you have to deal with it. You are a victim of man-made religion; and your boyfriend will be a victim of your weakness to speak against injustice. You are a thinker and that is why you are an agnostic, now think more for what we said. Keep us posted for how it goes. Best wishes. -Admin.
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Muslim_girl says: January 25, 2013 at 10:26 pm
We’re not making anyone do anything. We’re just getting married. And to accept marrying under a Hindu tradition or to accept marrying under an Islamic tradition doesn’t convert anyone. Please get that straight. We are essentially hindus, muslims, christians, whatever society wants to label us.
You are no one to tell me to go marry a muslim boy. I came here for advice on how people deal with their families, not to become rebels. If my bf and I believe in a certain way of life, we don’t have to rub it in the faces of our families. We don’t have to take their faith away from them. They are not radicals and fundamentalists. But good people.
As for your questions: we are not living in Hindu or Muslim societies. We don’t have to take our children to temples and mosques. Their names will have beautiful meanings, no matter where those names originate. They will be the embodiment of humanity and not segmented societies. I don’t have to answer your rhetorical questions, because if you make any sensible person read the posts on this website, it seems as if it was created to spread hate and angst. You should go back to the purpose of the site which was to help youth get beyond the differences of their families.
And the last thing, I would have never let my man be with me If I didn’t believe he had risen above these differences. So if he was white, jew, whatever, it wouldn’t have changed anything about him. He just happened to be Indian. -Muslim_Girl
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Admin says:
Hello Muslim_girl,
You are only 22 and you are lots mature for that age. You have thought through a lot, we are confident that you will make a right decision for your life, what ever that may be. You have still 2-3 year before your wished for marriage, so keep critically evaluating situations as it comes along.
It is honorable that you wishes to please both sets of parents. Keep it up.
Life in American college dorms is very pluralist and progressive, but unfortunately, life outside is different. As you will come close to your actual marriage, you will find out many more issues that you did not ever imagined. Please keep us posted when you reach there.
This web site is created to define IM-WE (Interfaith Marriage With Equality) and to help youths make an “informed” decision. We have no intention of “spread hate and angst”. This knowledge you will gain here may be not that you wish to hear, but it is not going to hurt you, only make you prepared for it, if that situation ever arises. We hope it will never.
You live in free America and you could do what ever you wishes, no one could stop you. However this freedom comes at a high cost. In America, probably more than 70% of marriages ultimately end in divorce. Further, the divorce costs lots more than the marriage! As we said before, one of major reason for divorce is the “the person changed” after marriage. Actually, no body changes but one fails to realize who really the other party is. In your case were fake-marriages and fake-conversions are planned and it should be a matter concern. When honesty is at distance, it is easy to misinterpret the other side leading to disaster.
Will the Imam ask for circumcision of the Hindu before Nikaah?
Satyameva Jayate (literal English: Truth Alone Triumphs) was adopted as the national motto of India for a good reason. You may like it or not, but our IM-ME organization cannot encourage youths to go for a marriage based on lies and deceptions. Look into other options.
Please, please do not get discouraged by what we said. Take what you like and live the rest for others. Life is never straight but it is good to think of all potential issues and be prepared for it. Considering you are a smart one, you will do just fine. Best wishes.
.
Also read: Islamic Women Today, Hymen Replacement Surgery, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu girl, Muslim girl, Hindu boy, Muslim boy,
Be a friend on Facebook. Return to InterfaithShaadi.org. To share your experience, read.
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Shergul,
Marriage is your choice. Accepting any religious way of living is also your choice. Both of your choices must be respected as long as they don’t hurt others. To decide anything as right or wrong, you must have correct and enough information. You can convert to Hinduism if you like the Hindu way of living and considering all the humanity belonging to the same God, known as different names.
In your situation, I would have studied the material at this site and then talked to my parents about Islam, Muhammad and his marriages/wives. As I have come to a conclusion that Muhammad was anti women and has painted the God Allah in a very distasteful manner, I would have quit his cult. Also, would have discussed these to my parents in a friendly manner (mostly it’s hard to educate the parents though) to pray Allah and leave Muhammad.
Any way, take your decision after a deliberation. We all wish you good luck.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4332
I am 25 years old Muslim girl, live in USA and in love with one hindu boy, we were studying together in the University, so since 6 years, we are known to each other, and we love each other like a crazy. He is very intelligent , smart and sensitive , working as a software engineer while I am accountant, I know I could not live without him. I want to marry him, he is ready to marry me, his family is also ready but my parent are not ready and forcing me to marry muslim boy. I am depressed now. I can not live without him. I wan to spend rest of my life with him. Now, I have decided to leave my home and parent, I will marry him any cost. I want to convert to Hindu for marriage.But no such restriction from my Hindu BF. IF this is good step?
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4332
Saragul,
Conversion for marriage is not a Hindu thing. You could remain what ever and the other party could remain what ever. This conversion business is all for the benefit of Abrahamic priest class. Enjoy your Interfaith Marriage with Equality and true respect for each other for what ever you are.
Dear muslim girl
Of course who have to learn to live without him when he dies .stupid girls who says I can’t live without my bf
Hi readers,
One of the beliefs that emerges from the Koran is the concept of virgins. These virgins reside at the gates of heaven. The Koran further says that these virgins who are referred as houris or hurs will be the reward to the faithful who have spent a lifetime in service of Allah. Chapters 52 to 56 of the Koran mention about these virgins. The Koran only mentions about these virgins,but does not specify any number.
This lacuna is filled by the Hadiths, which specify that the reward for a true follower of Islam will be rewarded with 72 virgins as wived. The Hadiths are the recorded words of Muhammad and also have great religious significance. The Hadiths which are six in number were compiled about 200 years after the death of the Prophet. Thus the importance of the Hadiths cannot be underrated. The Hadiths are supposed to be the exact quotations of the prophet.
The Koran describes the houris. They are very beautiful and fair. They are perpetual virgins and have the god given quality of regenerating their hymens after intercourse. The houris are also buxom and breasts that do not sag. They are hairless except for eyebrows and head. They are reward for the faithful, who have either been martyred or spent a life time obeying the injunctions of Allah. Houris await the faithful at the gates of Paradise. The Hadiths mention that the sweat of these virgins has the smell of musk and they will give eternal love and satisfaction. They will be in addition to the wives on this earth. The Koran also mentions that an unspecified number of boys will also be rewarded to the true believers.
This belief in the Houris and the boys as sacred and cannot be questioned. This concept of the houris is a tremendous motivating influence in Islam.
Hi dear Satyen,
Wonderful comments on humanitarian grounds.
Really Muhammad was greatest enemy of the mankind and tarnished the image of God/Allah. He committed all sorts of the crimes in this world.
Thanks a lot for guiding muslim women.
Dear Waheeda,
Thanks for encouraging me. I don’t consider myself a guide as Muslim women have come a long way and are definitely far more aware of the reality in the Muslim society, I try to contribute my tiny share to see all of them happy. I am awed to see their intellect, analysis of the Muslim male society and above all, their outspokenness. I am sure very soon the situation will change for the better and the latter generations of Muslim women will not have to bear such atrocities as their mothers have gone through.
Let’s pray Allah to give us strength to expedite the process.
In fact Muhammad and his elk must be exposed for the welfare of our sisters/daughters/mothers. These people should be behind the bars and ostracized, not respected. We have only to spread the truth of Muhammad with right reasoning because his cult has not only caused immeasurable agony to the womenfolk but is still active in enslaving them. Irony is the women, though victims, still try to justify Muhammad’s action and hold him as prophet!
Muhammad is also guilty of tarnishing the image of the God/Allah whom he has painted demoniacal. Allah is all merciful, impartial, omnipotent, omniscience and omnipresent. But see Muhammad what he says about Allah. First, Muhammad has made Allah a helpless who cannot even send His messages without the help of a human Messenger called Muhammad! Not only this, Allah cannot send another prophet after Muhammad.
Second, Muhammad declared Allah full of partiality who is totally against the women. He made sure, no women can be considered any prophet or lead the males in a prayer! Even his followers made sure that none of the women should be made the Khalifas! Can Allah be so cruel against the woemn who are also His creation and equally loving to Him/Her? Why would the Allah give 72 nymphs to the males in paradise and nothing to the women! Also most of the occupants in the hell will be women!
Muhammad has to be remembered with Allah in the Shahada! In other words, Muhammad has made himself at par with with Allah. In fact, Muhammad has been creating his empire twisting the Allah and using Allah to fulfill his won desires. In Quran, many places Allah has been forced to speak in favour of Muhammad’s despicable actions!
It’s not a rocket science to come to the conclusion that what was the motives of Muhammad and the intention of his followers. Now it’s time to get rid of this cruel cult and awaken others, especially the women who have suffered so much as it was primarily targeted against them. It doesn’t matter whether the women are Hindus or Muslims, they are equally maltreated. So, get up united and put this cult to its logical end.
Virginity is something which has its own importance. It is sacred for someone and a normal body part for someone else. In some of the cultures, people consider it necessary to be present before marriage. These days it is very common that people lose their virginity at an early stage.
However, it has been seen that the trend has been reversed these days. People are trying to regain their virginity with the help of science. The technique which is used to regain the virginity or at times known as hymen repair is hymenoplasty.
Whenever a person involves in intercourse, the hymen get disrupted resulting in loss of virginity. It is not always that hymen break due to intercourse, these days people are indulging in lots of physical exercises which at times become reason of breakage of hymen and loss of virginity.
Hymenoplasty is nothing but repairing of the hymen which is present at the vaginal opening. It is not all women in the world which indulge in the act of Hymenoplasty. Whenever a person wishes to indulge in Hymenplasty, she must consult the doctor immediately.
Research has shown that there are basically three kinds of women who are indulged in Hymenoplasty. These are:
* The women who are culturally and religiously bound – there are certain religion in the world which considers that virginity should not be loosed before marriage and if done it is considered as a sin.
* Those women who have lost their virginity due to certain tragic happening in their lives such as rape, sexual ill treatment etc;
* Another kind of women that need to indulge in Hymenoplasty are those women who are in relationship for long and wants to gift there would be husband with no virginity loss.
Thus, mainly these kinds of women who normally indulge in Hymenoplasty.
The duration of conducting Hymenoplasty depends upon the doctor. It is not a surgery which takes place for long duration. It is short treatment which is normally for an about 30-45 minutes. The stiches which are used during the treatment generally take 8 weeks to dissolve completely.
Cost Of Hymenoplasty
The cost of Hymenoplasty can be high for someone and low for another one depending upon her financial status. Normally the price ranges between $2,500 and $6,000 (USD).
Type of hymen repair
There are various types of Hymen repair treatment available. Such as:
* Simple Hymenoplasty: in this kind of treatment the tear portion of the hymen is joined together by piecing it together. In this the hymen tissue is pulled in order to close the vagina. There is no symptoms that generate after the surgery that is infection or fever.
* Alloplant: it is done when the abovementioned technique is not applicable. In this a tear is inserted which behaves like a Hymen Repair.
Though the treatment of Hymenoplasty is very simple but still it is advisable to undergo the treatment of Hymenoplasty by some experienced physician in order to get everything well and on time. The doctor must have performed the treatment before also to get the accuracy. If anything goes wrong it results in unnecessary pain and unnecessary wastage of time and energy.
We’re not making anyone do anything. We’re just getting married. And to accept marrying under a Hindu tradition or to accept marrying under an Islamic tradition doesn’t convert anyone. Please get that straight. We are essentially hindus, muslims, christians, whatever society wants to label us.
You are no one to tell me to go marry a muslim boy. I came here for advice on how people deal with their families, not to become rebels. If my bf and I believe in a certain way of life, we don’t have to rub it in the faces of our families. We don’t have to take their faith away from them. They are not radicals and fundamentalists. But good people.
As for your questions: we are not living in Hindu or Muslim societies. We don’t have to take our children to temples and mosques. Their names will have beautiful meanings, no matter where those names originate. They will be the embodiment of humanity and not segmented societies. I don’t have to answer your rhetorical questions, because if you make any sensible person read the posts on this website, it seems as if it was created to spread hate and angst. You should go back to the purpose of the site which was to help youth get beyond the differences of their families.
And the last thing, I would have never let my man be with me If I didn’t believe he had risen above these differences. So if he was white, jew, whatever, it wouldn’t have changed anything about him. He just happened to be Indian.
namaste / jai sri ram / assalya waleikum
please i appeal all hindu males and sisters to please teach the truth, hinduism is peaceful religion, and let our muslim sisters to marry hindu men. we are ready to embrace hinduism.
i come from pathan family of mumbai. as usual i was taught hindus are termites (malayouns), and hindus killed muslims in mumbai riots. hindus dont do sunat, so unclean. hindus wotship idols, very bad.
My dad is hindu hater, though je has lust for hindu girls come to islam. My dad is follower of jehadi idiot zakir naik, whose only intention is to make india an islamic country. i never had freedom from child life, as i always starred to sri shiva temple from chilhood. i hated reading namaz like moron 5 times day. I was taught that i cannot go alone, always with my brother, wear black veil, so that hindus cannot see us. i was taught and brainwashed that hindus are kidnappers they can devastate good looking muslim girl.
i once came to kolkata with my parents, i saw bengali guy named as rakesh chattopadhyay in same hotel. i dont know i was very jealous of hindu girls from childhood, that if i could ever escape and elope with hindu guy, i will never have to wear black veil. Actually my dad wanted i marry 60 years old pathan man, living in saudi arabia,home in kolkata. i saw hindu guys never looked us in bad way, only the dumb muslim guys look us as sex object.
One day, when i saw rakesh chattopadhyay alone, i pulled his hand in lone room. I told him please save me, and take me anywhere from my parents, as i hate to marry that old scum 60 years nazrul khan. Somehow Rakesh was very scared. Sorry to seduce him and to accept me, so that he feel good and attracted to me. I dont know hindu guys are so dashing, i just cant remove my eyes from thier looks. I hated bengali girls, because i never wanted any ifiot bengali girl to marry Rakesh. Somehow i managed to marry Rakesh to take me to his home. I went to his home, and said her mother give me any job to do, i am ready to be housemaid, but sane my life. I was falling deep in love with Rakesh, and when i saw alone i use to kiss him like a doll all over his body. I love the bengali way of wearing saree. This way i told Rajesh to help my younher sister to het eloped from his home , and my younger sister Runina also left home. Inshallah….
I asked Rakesh mom, that we 2 sisters want to convert to hinduism, and i want to marry Rakesh in hindu bengali way. Before marriage, i and Rubina converted to hinduism in Arya Samaj temple in vivekanada road, north kolkata . I changed my name to Asha Chattopadhyay and my sister as Rambha . I feel Rajesh mom as my own mom, i am so pleased that i have got a mother like Rakesh mother. I apeeal to Allah, that i in next life born in brahman family. Hindus are so kind and generous people, they dont hate any religions. Tell me why we muslims specially women not allowed to marry hindu men, why phedophile mualvis teach never to mix with hindu males, who themselves plan to kidnap hindu girls. Your know Rakesh mom (Gayatri Devi) said me i am his daughter and not maidservant.
INSHALLAH !!! TODAY MY LOVING HUSBAND ALLOW ME TO TAKE ADMISSION IN SCHOOL. I HAVE ALREADY FINISHED SCHOOLING AND NOW MY MOTHER JAYATRI DEVI AND RAKESH WANT ME TO DO ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING FROM BITS PILANI, ALLAH WANT EVERY MUSLIM GIRL TO GET CONVERTED TO HINDUISM AND MARRY HINDU MEN.. ALHUMDUILLAH!!!! I AM CONVERT TO HINDU !!! I AM PROUD TO CALL MYSELF AS SANATAN HINDU !!!
You know hindus give freedom to muslims to haj pilfrimahe . Govt of India loses 650 of rupees every year, and these stinking mualivis teach, if you convert hindu girl to islam to will achieve jannat and landsome reward of 10,000 rupees. Shame on you muslims .
I appeal to every smart hindu brahman guys, please look on muslim girls, we love your attention, as i was so desperate to marry hindu brahman guy like Akshay Kumar. I appeal Indian Govt. a hindu muslim unity forum to correct kuran and declare jehad against maulvis, muftis, imams and gibe acha every maulbi death penalty, for not allowing muslim girl to marry hindu guys.. Please envourage hindus to marry muslim girls, as i did this wi;l bring hindu muslim unity and secularism will be preserved
Reply to Ayesha at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4251
Perhaps Zahid,s father also shown bed sheet with blood taints to family members that his wife was virgin. May be fake blood due to use of artificial hymen kit.
Every muslim is girl including ZAHID,S SISTER is using it now to avoid disgrace to the family.
What a hell of life.
You are telling only nonsense.islam did not permit disclose sexiual affairs between husband wife to anyother.sex outside marriage is zina and punishment to stone the death.if somewants to sex he should marry someone to prevent himself/herself from sins.your father had disclosed sex with your mother on his wedding night to your family to show them bleed of your mother.he did not fallow islam.
Hello Zahid,
Perhaps you were born from a woman who used artificial hymen kit on the wedding night to prove her virginity and have a everlasting relations,with your father, as wife and husband.
Your religion is the most dangerous and inhuman in the world. Mutta marriage, prostitution, marrying even cousins, terrorism, rape, bloodshed are parts of your relgion.
These hindus will always give you fake information and fake hadith about our beloved prophet.to know about our beloved prophet go to http://www.muhammad.net
Hi Muslim girl,
so sorry not able to get correct sentence.
THE CORRECT SENTENCE IS; IF YOU MARRY YOUR BF YOU NEED NOT REPEAT NEED NOT TO BE WORRED ABOUT PROVING YOUR VIRGINITY ON THE WEDDING NIGHT………………..
GOD BLESS YOU.
Hello Muslim girl,
Nice to see your comments and brief life story.
If you marry your BF, you need to be worried about establishing virginity on the wedding night, as several sisters have apprehended in their texts about doubting the integrity of the soul mate.Only due to this evil practices, in the hard core muslim countries the business of hymen repair surgery and use of artificial hymen kit have increased manifold to avoid disgrace to the bride and her family. No such restrictions are imposed on the males, though Kuran gives equal right to both male and female. Why female has to prove virginity?
Can you please comments on this aspect? I too married a Hindu boy about 6 years back and now working in Spain has Relationship Manager and no problem at all after marriage. Rather too happy, but my elder sister married in Pakistan is not happy at all, facing a lot of problem in the family.
Hello Muslim girl,
Nice to see your comments and brief life story. If you marry your BF, you need to be worried about establishing virginity on the wedding night, as several sisters have apprehended in their texts about doubting the integrity of the soul mate.Only due to this evil practices, in the hard core muslim countries the business of hymen repair surgery and use of artificial hymen kit have increased manifold to avoid disgrace to the bride and her family. No such restrictions are imposed on the males, though Kuran gives equal right to both male and female. Why female has to prove virginity?
Khurshida,
Yes, it is good to marry a Hindu because he will not display that bloody (no bloody) sheet to his parents. further those Hindus will treat the Muslim_girl fairly and will allow her to practice her own faith. This is well and good on Islam side.
But it is fair for the Muslim_girl to go and convert that Hindu to Islam for their Islamic nikaah? She expect that (former) Hindu guy to go tell her Muslim parents that “has to say the words that he’s a muslim”, is that fair?
Or, are you saying in Islam there is nothing fair, as far as Islam spreads?
Is this fake-sahadah, fake conversion, fake-Hindu wedding, premeditated lies and deception to both sets of parents, all okay as a foundation of (short lasting?) marriage like?
Also I respect your opinions and beliefs. But we both agree on the sentiments I pointed out earlier, so you cannot label me as being “dogmatic”. We have both found the way for ourselves. The reason I came seeking help on this forum was to find out how people try to get around their parents in the least painful way, and how if for some reason, a couple is not able to carry on with the stress this relationship causes, get away from each other. not to discuss and debate if I should convert for him or if he should for me.
Also read https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4140&cpage=1#comment-38295
As much as I understand your concerns, you have to for once think above religion and realize that we’re both agnostic people. So for us, if we marry with some kind of rituals or without, it serves the same purpose. if we do not follow a religion, it doesn’t mean we cannot fulfill some wishes of our loved ones given these wishes don’t eat us up.
if i marry in a hindu way because his parents have spent their lives dreaming about their kids’ weddings, it won’t turn my heart into a hindu. i will still be who i am. but I can do this for his parents because we love them and would want to do something that is not so hard to take on ourselves. similarly, if he tells i’m ready to marry in an islamic way or even has to say the words that he’s a muslim to my parents, then it doesn’t make him a muslim. he will remain who he is. his ways and thoughts in life do not change with the mere idea of keeping someone’s heart. and the idea that my parents will meddle in our lives and want us to follow the islamic way.
then my friends, we live in the US. and we live in the 21st century. most parents only want the happiness of their kids and once they see their kids grown up, they too give up their advising and meddling. just because on my wedding day i choose to take 7 rounds and my husband chooses to say “i accept her” wouldn’t change the 2 of us. so please stop all this “would you want him to convert”. rise above the differences. we’re not religious people so every religion is the same for us.
Muslim-Girl,
Take time to complete your education and get maturity. Meanwhile, also read in depth about the life history of Muhammad from this site and elsewhere as well. The most important thing to consider is who are your sensible well wishers. Just follow them as they will lead your life along the path of happiness. Even the close well wishers who are ignorant will make your life a hell. So, take time of your remaining 3 years to think it over and over again about ‘what will make your life a blissful one’. Does Muhammad qualify to become the right person to be considered the role model by your husband? Had you considered Muhammad as your husband? If not, are the supporters of Muhammad like husband are your sensible well wishers? Parents are your real well wishers but not necessarily the sensible ones. Sometimes they don’t lead you to the right path. Don’t you think marrying your husband in Islamic way will arm him with many undesirable privileges such as divorcing you at his will and the possibility to bring another younger wife when you become aged? Hence nip this possibi8lity into a bud itself and marry in Hindu way or in a civil court if Hindu way is not acceptable to you.
To make your life a happy one is solely your responsibility. So, shoulder your responsibility with a keen understanding of your situation and analyzing it further before reaching to the right solution. One good thing is you both are agnostics and it may allow you to handle the issue better than a self imposed believer.
Satyen, what you speak is mostly right. thank u for that.
But no, I’m not marrying a religious person. If he chooses to divorce me at his will, then it wouldn’t be because he would be a muslim or a hindu, it would be because he’s an irrespectable, worthless man. And if he chooses to bring another wife, then it’s not islam that will give him the liberty, but his own screwed up head.
Fortunately, I’m not planning on marrying such a man. So if you label him muslim, hindu, christian, agnostic, whatever, it doesn’t change the humanistic rules he has created for himself.
Chastity can exact a painful price from young Muslim women, forced into lies or surgery to go to the marriage bed as virgins.
Hymen repair, fake virginity certificates and other deceptions, said to be commonplace in some Muslim countries, are practiced in France and elsewhere in Europe, where Muslim girls are more emancipated but still live under rigid codes of family honor.
Such ploys have saved many a young woman from scorn and worse. But they also clash with the more liberal social mores of France and Europe, where some decry it as an attack on human rights.
The procedures are legal but shrouded in silence — “something that passes through nonofficial channels,” via friends or the Internet, said Dr. Nathan Wrobel. “There are circuits that lead women to me.”
‘It’s a secret we share’
Wrobel is one of an unknown number of gynecologists in France who are willing to repair hymens, the membrane usually broken by the first act of sexual intercourse. He was one of the few doctors willing to talk about it.
Wrobel says women come to him having convinced themselves that the procedure will somehow reverse the irreversible. “They tell me, ‘I’ll be a virgin again. You will make me a virgin,’ which in reality is totally false …. It’s a secret we share.”
Other doctors issue false virginity certificates or offer such tricks as spilling a vial of blood on the sheets to fool families into believing the bride has passed their purity bar.
Through the ages, virginity has been prized across religions and cultures, and doctors note that only a few generations back European brides also had to furnish documentary “proof” of chastity.
Broader question
In today’s France, with an estimated 5 million Muslims — the largest such population in western Europe — it’s part of the larger question of how to deal with cultural clashes ranging from head scarves in schools to sexual segregation in swimming pools.
A 2005 government report addressing culture clashes in hospitals, and issued a year after Muslim head scarves were banned from classrooms, briefly mentions the virginity issue, asking doctors to refuse to issue false certificates.
Isabelle Levy, author of “Religion in the Hospital,” decries both certificates and hymen repair, saying deception “increases the moral suffering.”
In Islam, virginity is linked to bridal purity and family honor, said Dalil Boubakeur, head of the Paris Mosque.
He notes that tradition holds that “adre,” virgins, are among the delights of paradise. However, Boubakeur, a doctor and a moderate Muslim, says the Quran does not address premarital virginity, and he is against the deception, counseling bride and bridegroom to confide in each other.
It is not known how many doctors in France or elsewhere in Europe help Muslim women to fake virginity. But in Germany, Turkish Muslim immigrants are increasingly seeking virginity certificates, said Serap Cileli, who survived a forced marriage and now helps victims.
German doctors who do hymen repair are easy to find, according to Sibylle Schreiber, who works with a women’s rights group in Tuebingen, but it’s “a taboo topic really only discussed best friend to best friend.”
Not on the Internet, however, where the desperation in Web forums is palpable. “If you have contacts to help me, I’ll never be able to thank you enough,” writes a woman calling herself Lubna who wants help finding someone to restore her virginity.
Wrobel, who teaches at the University of Paris, says he and another doctor at his clinic in a Paris suburb stitch up seven to eight hymens a month in a 20- to 30-minute operation under general anesthesia that he likens to plastic surgery. He asked that the clinic not be named.
The price, $500, is steep for a young woman in a poor family and possibly unemployed. A German doctor advertising on the Internet charges $1,250.
‘It’s easy to be like a virgin’
Dr. Emmanuelle Piet, who heads the family planning clinics in an area north of Paris where many Muslims live, says she has been issuing a half-dozen virginity certificates a year for three decades.
But instead of hymen repair, she suggests less drastic measures, like spilling blood on the sheet on the wedding night.
“It’s easy to be like a virgin,” she said.
It’s deceptive but “it’s one way to help the girls,” said Piet, a veteran women’s rights advocate. “They are stuck in things so terrible.”
In an interview, a French Muslim woman from the northern Paris suburb of Saint Denis, recounted how she was forced to procure a virginity certificate at age 12 “after my mother surprised me with a friend.” Although nothing had happened between her and the boy, her suspicious brothers beat her up, she said, requesting anonymity.
By age 19 she had lost her virginity and underwent hymen repair before marrying a man who demanded a virgin.
“I wanted to leave home. I took the first one who came along,” the woman said. The marriage ended after five years.
Hi Admin,
Thanks for putting this out.
Well, we’re both still in college (altho I’m 22 and he’s 26). We both don’t plan on getting married for a few more years and in order to prevent my life and my parents life from becoming hell, I told my parents I have broken up with him. I’m still with him, though.
What I’m thinking for now is for both of us to complete our education and get settled in our lives. That will be a time when parents may respect the decisions we make in our lives. My parents could act the exact same way as they did now but if I truly believe I want to be with my bf, I may make a tough decision. It just saddens me that my parents (like a lot of other parents in this situation) seem to threaten us with their health and what they could do to themselves if we make this decision. It will also sadden me that they might not grace me with their presence on our wedding, but I would’ve given them the choice.
What I’m hoping for is for them to come around so we could get married in both the Islamic way and the Hindu way, of which I have no problems to. My bf also suggests a civil union and if things seem too out of hand, it is what we might resort to. But all of this is at least 3 years in the future, and I’m trying to think about it anymore for now.
If you have more suggestions, please do tell us about them!
Thanks.
Dear Muslim_girl,
We have high respect for you. You are lots mature compared to other girls your age. Getting good education and be financially independent should be your top priority, irrespective to whom you marry.
You have a typical parents. They are skeptic about you marrying to a Hindu and they want to save their face from their friends and relative. They are smart to use some of scary techniques all parents use, that is “threaten us with their health”. You have to do what you have to, and in the end they will come around.
Think big, what would you do if Allah is right in front of you and tell you to do all that is right things to do, what would you do?
You said, “we could get married in both the Islamic way”, and you know that this Nikaah is not possible without conversion of that Hindu. Is that fair to the one you love dearly? What would you do with this FAKE-conversion? Do you think Allah will be happy if he fake-convert? Why you are submitting to irrational practice and injustice?
Myself also from Pakistan and presently in Malasiya working in a oil and gas company. My boss is Hindu Tamil and supports me a lot. There are other muslim guys but their attitude I dont like. Just for the purpose of game and sex, they try to attract me, whereas this Hindu guy is sobre and highly skillful in job matters and helps and motivates me whenever needed. I feel attracted towards him and wish to marry him now. He has shown his inclination to do so without coverting to any religion.I havnt disclosed it to my parents in Pakistan.
Read Muslim girl article and Islamic women today.
How are you planning to raise your children?
If he expects you to visit, once a while, to a Hindu temple, are you a pluralist?
Hi sister,
If you both are working, atttained age of maturity and have understood each other fully, then there is no problem to marry him. Hindu guys are more respectful, caring, submissive and liberal, as compared to muslim guys, who believe in cruelty, domestic violence, talak any moment, no freedom of movement and job, keeping in burqa, female genital mutiliation, in security in the life, no respect to the wife, just a sex doll, and male enjoying sexual relations with cousins, nieces and so many. Islam is the worst religion in the present day world for women in the world.
paki_girl,
Read what we said. Should this Muslim_girl marry by Nikaah (and convert the Hindu)?
Do not marry hindu because hindus treat woman badly
Zahid,
Would you recommend to convert that Hindu to Islam, is that okay?
That 5 min of Sahadah oath will make that Hindu to a good Muslim who treat their up to 4 wives nicely?
Yes that is okay if hindus conveart to islam. Then they will fallow the religion of truth not satans religion(hindus)
How about Osma Bil Laden? Will Osama go to heaven and get 64 virgins?
Proloy says: January 16, 2013 at 5:39 am
You should not leave your love. You come to India and get married.You will see how Hindus respect other religion & respect girls.
Married? how?
She has said, “I don’t want to hurt my family”. Pleasing her parents means conversion of that Hindu.
By Isamic Nikaah (after Shahadah religious conversion)?
Or Hindu Vivaah?
Or civil wedding?
Dear Muslim_girl,
We recommended you two to read some of above articles. Let us know what is the progress? We hope you did not ask him to convert to Islam (convert a rose to carnation!).
You said, “We’re also fairly agnostic, and he’s also completely anti-dogmatic.” and you want to please your parents; these two will be difficult. This Shahadah for Nikaah is completely dogmatic.