Asha says: May 28, 2015 at 11:36 am (Edit)
Hi,
I got married to my college friend. I am a Hindu and he is a Christian. When he proposed to me, I warned him of the consequences that such a marriage could create. I did not want to get converted. But he assured me everything will be all right and I just have to trust him. He even went on to say that I won’t even feel that I have married a Christian.
My parents were not at all happy with the relation. But he came and met with my parents, he even said that he is ready to be converted to Hindu. But my parents said that all that is not necessary. Finally they agreed to my wishes. I have no idea what he told his family but he told me they also agreed.
But both families insisted on having religious ceremonies for marriage because otherwise they will be shamed in front of society and family if we did a register marriage. Hindu ceremony was not a big deal. But to marry in church, I had to get converted which I said I wouldn’t. Then his family came up with a law according to which we could get married in church if we promise to raise our children in Christian faith. I was not ready for this as we had decided beforehand that we will not raise our children under any faith but we will nurture in them a respect to all religion. They can read both Bible and Gita and imbibe the goodness of both religions while staying away from the rules and regulations the religions impose.
So, when the pressure from him and his family mounted I said I will sign the pact but let me be very clear I will not abide by it. So my husband said, that is all fine, and that he can even give it to me in writing that we need not baptise our children. Being the emotional fool that I am, I trusted him completely and did not bother to get anything in writing.
All went fine until our little baby boy was born after 2 years. Now his parents want to baptize the baby. And to my absolute shock and surprise my husband has taken their side. Actually my husband was not entirely truthful to me. He never told his parents of our pact.This is what he said to me. “I married you because I thought you will be a good daughter in law to my family. I want you to rest with me in my grave. So I have always planned to baptize you somewhere later in our life. I lied to you because I love you so much. As for our son he will definitely be Christian. I might have made many promises but my family is important to me. If we don’t baptize our child people will ask all sorts of questions to my family. They can’t stand it. They will be shamed in society. Ok, I can do this. We need not raise our baby as Christian but you should do this namesake baptism just for the sake of my parents. I can’t just leave my parents for you. I can’t choose between you. And they are more important to me that you.” The last sentence just broke my heart. And those were not the exact words he used.
He even called me a devil. I was shattered- the same person who called me his angel for 5 years called me a devil. Still I fought. I fought hard and finally we decided we won’t do the baptism. At least that is what he told me.
The problem now is his father. He calls and always tries to change my husband’s mind. And then we have these quarrels, shouting and all that. My perfect family is gone. We fight every day. Sometimes he admits that it is not his wish but his parents. But he cannot say no to them. It has been a year now. His father has still not given up . At every chance he is forcing my husband. He is trying to get his sympathy saying the other day someone or the other asked why his grandson is not being baptized and he was left with no words. Or that the family grave will have no successor or anything like that.
We live outside India. It has helped a little bit to keep our family intact. Now me and my baby are home because I have some health problems. My mother in law had stayed with us a month before I came back to India. Now I am staying at my home. My father in law has pledged not to enter my home because my parents won’t make me understand that it is best to baptize my baby. He thinks my parents are at fault!
And now he is complaining I am taking the baby away from their family and making him a part of my family. My health issues restrict my travel. No one from my in laws visited me so far. And they say I take the baby away from them. I don’t know what to do. My husband thinks they are right. I love my husband. His only problem is he doesn’t know where to draw the line when it comes to his parents. But that one thing is ruining our lives. -Asha
Admin says:
Asha, we read your life story and we just feel like crying.
These man-made religions are ruining your life. The superstition (that non-baptized will go to hell) is killing your beautiful marriage. For them, certain ritual (baptism dip) is more important than humanity. The BBS is a social sin.
It is very unfortunate that in media and Bollywood movies, Christianity is posed as religion of love and a progressive alternative to Hinduism. However the truth is exactly opposite and you are a victim of it.
Imposing baptism on your child is a dirty game of expanding Christian vote power, and nothing more (read Jesus not church). If you personally are not willing to accept Christianity (meaning giving up Hinduism), then never agree for baptism of your son. You are on a right track.
Baptism is just a beginning; ultimately lots more to follow. Baptism means you will have to take your son to a church every Sunday. They will teach Bible (read details here), are you okay with it? Later, your son will be upset with you because you are a sinner (read McKenna) and wish you to be baptized too. Ultimately, it will create a division between you (a Hindu) and your own son (Christian).
Other than religion, there is a major issue with your husband. He is a lier. Sorry, but you do not have any future with this guy. Cut losses now!
In relationship, it is important to communicate well with the spouse. You have spoiled your husband because he knows you always give in. In the beginning, you act like a lion but run away like a goat. If you wish to save your marriage, give him a strong and firm message now. Tell him (as hard it will be) eye-to-eye that you rather accept a divorce (even you don’t mean it!!) than submit to husband’s lies and irrational requests.
We are glad you did not sign any prenuptial agreement with his church to baptize your son. That would have been a major legal disaster for you. (sorry this information is incorrect, read)
Sorry to hear of your health issues. In your situation, any one will get sick. However, good days are ahead of you. Read many articles suggested below and educate yourself. Devise a strategy for how you wish to deal with your husband and act firmly. We hope he will get a wake up call and you will be able to save your married life (and your dignity). Please come back to update us. Best wishes. -Admin
Also read: Interfaith marriage with equality (Video), Hindu-Christian Marriage, Will Gandhi go to Hell since he was not Baptized?, Bible on Hindus?, Idol-Worshippers, I am a Christian mother, I converted without knowledge of my family, I am Christian getting married to a Hindu, Do all Christians go to Heaven?, Ignorent Molly trying to convert a Krishna believer to Christianity ..a video, Namastey London movie…intolerant Christians ..a video, All religions are not same, A Hindu America?, Why I am a Hindu?, A fundamentalist Christian, Why I came back to Hinduism?, Dharma is not the same as religion, Text book on How to convert Hindu Students to Christianity.
Return to Home, Blogs, How to Share? Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, Book, Media.
I am hindu and my husband is belong to catholic. i deliverd my baby girl on xx june 2020. We marriade under speacial marriage act so it was not necessary for me to convert.and dn after one year my doughter born. She is nw 1 mnth old and my in laws and my husband is foring me to baptise my child. Before my husband told me tht its you wish if you want to baptise are l child or nt… Bt nw he is saying she will get problem in future if she dont baptise nw… She will nt get addmisson in convent schools n all….
Please reply at https://interfaithshaadi.org/husband-forcing-baptise-child/
It is really a heart touching story Asha. One of my friend also faced this kind of situation. Though they din’t have issues of baptism as both were Hindu( boy was Hindu while girl was Bengali). They had problems in their marriage ceremony so it was done both ways and twice. Also their first baby name Adhiraj(for school) and Ajoy (as nick name)
Dipali,
Life is adjustment and accommodation, at least to some extent.
Two weddings and Ajoy are the least of problem compared to what other youths face here.
I am a Hindu, I married a protestant. I did not convert as I was very religious. My husband is the most wonderful man on this earth. He had never forced me to give up my religion, in fact he is the one who takes me on my religious trips.such as Madurai temple, balaji, rameshwaram and much more. He has no issues in coming to Mandir, he is the one who also goes to gaushala’s to serve cows. Everything is fine but my MIL is not happy about me doing pooja at home. (She is unknown about her son visiting Mandir? )She hates me for as I m a hindu. My concern is my daughter who is born after 4 years of my marriage. I want my child to be a good human first and not get religiously stuck.we go to church every Sunday but I don’t her to go to Sunday school as it may change her mind regarding Hinduism. My last concern is my last rites which I want my people to complete as per Hindu rites. Is it possible. What does law say.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=10226
Hi,
I am Hindu and in love with syrian orthodox christian for the past 5 years. We are happy together. But though my parents have agreed, his parents are opposing. His parents want me to convert. I donot want to convert because I donot believe in the religion. I donot want to use religion as per my convenience. Though my boyfriend himself doesnot want conversion, he is getting immensely pressurized by his parents. I am afraid that this tension will ruin our bond. Please suggest.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=9952
I am in love with a Muslim girl named sabah.
She is doing Computer science engineering in a
Bangalore college and i’am studying civil
engineering in Mangalore. We both r in 3rd year
6th sem. V both r in love fr abt 2 yrs or so. She
is a very sweet girl and not like other Muslim
girls.
Every month i travel from Mangalore to
Bangalore in order to meet her.
Once we (along with our friends) went to goa.
That night we both (me and my girlfriend)
stayed in a same cottage.
But what happened later was,one of my Muslim
friend informed my girlfriends brother that v
stayed together in Goa.
From that day things worsened.
The next time when i went to Bangalore to meet
her,i was beaten up by her brother in public.
I gave him back and tore his shirt.
He was threatening that he wud kill me.
Now he has started harrasing my girl.
I accept that i stayed with her for a night, but at
the same time i promise that i have never
misused or misbehaved with her coz my love is
true and not based on physical attraction.
Now what should i do admin.
She is my life
I can never be happy with any other girl incase
i marry somebody else.
need ur suggestions
Kumar, first tell us which country/city are you writing from? You may reply us at Interfaithshaadi@gmail.com.
from Karnataka
Human,
For your information and for the knowledge of other readers I say, of course in consultation with my mentor, who is at the moment top most
Islamic Expert of the world(See AllExperts.Com), that Sharia or Islamic Law does not sanction or approve any type of marriage except regular one and the Muta( a section of Muslims say that Muta marriage was abolished but there in no mention in HOLY QURAN about such abolition.) It is therefore an established fact the Misyar or any other type of “marriages” have been introduced and/or invented by a section Muslims for sexual pleasure forgetting the fact these are serious crime/offence and persons who indulge in such crime/sin may be sent to hell if not pardoned by ALMIGHTY ALLAH(S.W.T). I think that Muslims have been inspired in such nasty and notorious practice/activities by hindu gods Krishna,Indra, Pancha Pandavas & others.
Pakhi Begum
In fact I did sign an agreement which stated that i’LL bring my kids up in Christian faith. But it was out of pressure. And my husband assured me I wouldnt have to abide by it.How do I make it void? Is the papers signed for church legal?
IF you are legally christian, then it`s legal, if you are Hindu/Muslim/Non-Christian, then not legal, so the main thing is are you Hindu or Christian is paper?
I am Hindu and have not converted. But the agreement was not to make me converted but to make my children Christians.Does that mean if we are to divorce legally, I’ll lose the child’s custody?
SO you have legally signed that you children will be christian, then why you are objecting in Baptizing your child since you have already singed it, anyway, if that paper is legal, then you may lose your children since you made agreement, Admin can throw better light on this issue.
Churches play the trick, this is called skip generation conversion. When a Hindu resists conversion, they skip that generation and secure the future ones. Fool Hindus in love cannot see that far, but when times comes, they cry. This is a trap to catch innocents like Asha. Most cases the Hindu kid (age 20 something) don’t even tell their parents.
This is the document https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=100:pre-nuptial-with-roman-catholic-church&Itemid=78&layout=default
It is signed on Rupee 20 stamp with a photo of the Hindu. This is a legal document. However, you could go to court (when a need be) saying this was done under undue pressure and try to void it.
Other thing you could do it to go to media and make them look fool. We could work on it when is right time.
For now, if you don’t want baptism of your son, don’t do it. Churches will not go to court for it or baptize your son against your wishes. If they do it, that church will be in deep legal trouble. As far (not written) agreement with your boy friend/husband and you, you do not have to baptize your son.
Keep in touch and we will fight for your rights.
Asha, can you e-mail us a copy of that document (we will keep it confidential) at InterfaithShaadi@gmail.com?
Nice to see that Admin is out there to help needy soul like Asha, but when any muslim/christian girl comes here for help who mostly trap in with hindu boy, then admin either ignores them or misguides them or start playing tolerance card, etc etc…
I feel sorry for you sister, interfaith marriages are never happy marriages, they always end in misery unless both partners converts to one religion or both partners become irreligious,
This is true. In the name of God, there is so much dirty tricks are being played. Read above and you will see that there is no discussion of Jesus or God, it is all about the church and their society. That is what we recommend to all lover to “make informed” decision and no BBS (labeling without meaning).