adi says: February 6, 2015 at 3:45 am
hi everyone,
i am a hindu girl in love with a muslim man. we both are postgraduates. well educated. i had fallen out of a previous relationship bcoz the boy was not of my caste. after initial refusals to myself and to the muslim guy, we fell in love. now i am in the situation i wanted to avoid ” going against my parents”. He is a gem of a person, understands me, helped me get rid of few ugly past issues. He loves me a lot.
I approached my parents, they are very much against it. the dont even want to know his name once they came to know he is a muslim. my elder sister married a hindu, but out of caste. MY parents are still coping up with the trauma even after 4 years.
my boyriend is ok with me “not converting” but he doesnt want me to do idol worship. no celebrating festivals at home once we marry. and he outrightly refused the idea of making our children as hindus and muslims. he wants all of them to follow his religion, his name.
i am torn between loving him and my parents. i keep swinging once promising them to leave him, then again refusing other marriage proposals. i cant leave my parents and go with him.
while he loves me a lot, he is adamant about the fact the children are his right and only his. at the same time i dunno whether i will ever get a person who loves me so much 🙁 i am lost..
please tell me what to do -Adi
Admin says:
Dear Adi,
You are highly educated and intellectual. Now God has given you a mind that has capacity to “think critically”. Is it not? So, lets use that mind.
First, congratulations for coming to this site. We love intellectuals and thinkers. Lets see what is good for you and our society.
We had a very intelligent girl, just like you, named Dr. Agnotist. Read all her thoughts here.
Is your sister happy in her out-of-cast marriage? If yes, you should work on your parents to give up their old ideologies and come to today’s reality.
Further, you parents should not stereo-type others, including this Muslim guy. They have to learn to see beauty in him, his humanity and good characters.
Now you are a thinker. Can you tell us what these statements means to you?
“he doesnt want me to do idol worship. no celebrating festivals at home once we marry.” -Muslim idol-worship to Kaaba and pray only (in the direction of) Saudi Arabia. Why God is only there and not in Kashi or Vatican? Does it mean now you will start killing innocent animals on Bakra-id in the name of God?
“he outrightly refused the idea of making our children as hindus and muslims. he wants all of them to follow his religion, his name.” Wow, wow, wow!! What is wrong with Hinduism? Did he not knew all these years that you are a Hindu? Is not any woman wants a life where there is “sharing and caring”? Now, he is telling you that there is only one way and THAT IS MINE! Is he a Love-Jihadi?
“he is adamant about the fact the children are his right and only his.” Unbelievable!!! Is he planning to carry the baby for 9 months? This is year 2015 and not 500, we wonder how come still such male chauvinist exist in this world.
On above points, what would you have done if on the first day you met him and he told you all these? Get out of your “blind-love” and open your eyes. Think!
Know one fact about Islam. 3Talaak is a valid legally acceptable divorce in India for Muslims. If you get 3Talaaks in the middle of a cold night, where would you go first? If that answer is your parents, then never go against them. Don’t burn bridges behind you.
We would love to talk more, please get back. -Admin
Adi says: February 9, 2015 at 4:48 am
hi, thanks for getting back to me admin. as i was writing to you, it became clear to me that i had to pick my parents 🙁
neither me nor my boyfriend are religious types. he rarely prays, i rarely go to temples. but will that be the case once we marry and get on with the routine life? the issue for me really was not the religion itself, but he refused to share 🙁 there are no second thoughts that he loves me truly, will do anything to keep me happy. he says its not the religion, he would claim his rights as a father even if he was hindu and i was muslim. Thts true. my sister’s kid has her father’s name and caste, not my sisters. but i wud have asked for “my Rights” even if i was muslim and he a hindu. tell me, m i wrong? is it against the norm of the society for children to follow mothers religion if she wants?
i just wanted us to share and have this beautiful “open house” 🙁 he says it will divide the children, confuse them. He says he will do whatever i takes to keep me happy, just let him have his fatherhood rights.
i thought i wud rather be selfish and keep my parents happy than be selfish, deprive them of peace and happiness. i am so sad to say we broke up 🙁 it might be the biggest mistake of my life walking away from him, my love. but i am walking towards my parents, they deserve this. i will find happiness in theirs 🙁
i Thank everyone who listened to me, helped me make my decision. will get back on how i am feeling, right now “its lonely” 🙁 -Adi
Admin says:
Sorry to hear the outcome. We were hoping you would be able to educate that “uneducated” one.
We are 100% in agreement that marriage life should be “sharing” and not “my way or take a highway”. Our society MUST change. Wives (from all faiths) should have rights to carry forward their religious beliefs, allow to celebrate their religious holidays and pass on childhood experiences, at least partially, to their children. We hope women will protest against Aamir Khan for his male chauvinist comments.
It would have been a grave mistake on your part accepting him as a “boss” of the married life. Being intelligent, educated and modern lady, you would never be able to be a submissive wife as he wishes you to be. Akansha’s Facebook privileges were taken away, asked to give up her job, asked to convert to Islam, was confined to burka and at home, allowed to visit her parents only once in 9 months…. there is no way you could be happy being a submissive woman. We hope Nusrat (Akansha) will raise her head one day for the sake of other oppressed women.
We don’t understand this “he says it will divide the children, confuse them.” Your children will be smart, even smarter than you guys. You could always explain that this is mom’s God and this is Dad’s (view SRK). Diversity is a part of life. Not all people on this earth wear red color cloths only, there is nothing to get confused about different colors and styles of cloths. Actually diversity is beautiful. To start with, that is why he, a Muslim guy, got attracted to a Hindu girl. Does he feels his religion is weak and thus concerned facing the other faith in your home? What an oxymoron argument he has about children getting confused?
One thing we do not agree to you is … you did all these to please you parents. This is wrong if you did just to please parents. You have to do that is right to do. If he was not bossy and believed in interfaith marriage with equality and equal rights to woman, you must go with him (and parents will ultimately come around). However, this guy is a looser and it is good that you DUMPed him, congratulations!!
Also read: VIDEO: Interfaith Marriage with Equality, Hindu-Muslim Marriage-video, Love-Jihad, Don’t fake-convert, Polygamy and talaak, Akansha unwillingly converted to Nusrat, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Idols, pluralism, SRK-can you do it?, Zakir Naik, Christian-Hindu marriages, Jain-Muslim marriages, Brahmin-Muslim marriages, Bollywood and Interfaith Marriages.
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Dear Adi,
We have not heard from you in a while and are concerned. We hope you are managing your life okay. You should also make friends with Laxmi, Sarah and many girls who are victim of love Jihad. Don’t hide behind doors, it’s not your fault. Come out and speak out!
Mohammad is actually Mac, now posting text in different names.
Non muslim girls should be aware of islamic laws which are mainly crimes against humanity in general and against female community in particular.
There is no respect for females in islam, except sex dolls.
I am giving some examples of Sharia law.haria Law & Women’s Rights:
· Women are permitted an education in Islamic issues (religious education) and family duties, but academic study is not encouraged. Fatwa 9019
· Women are not permitted to attend universities where both men and women are taught or all-female schools with male teachers.Fatwa 13814, Part No. 12, Page 150
· Women over the age of puberty are not permitted to leave the house without covering the body (except face and hands). Fatwa 667, Part No. 17, Page 142-150
· Women are not permitted to visit the graves of loved ones.Fatwa 2501, Part No. 1, Page 429
· Women are not permitted to obtain passports (since their photographs in them may tempt men), unless for the purpose of making Hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca).Fatwa 2595, Part No. 1, Page 719
· Women are not permitted to travel without a spouse or male relative.Fatwa 12139, Part No. 11, Page 38
· Women are not permitted to be alone with men who are not relatives or spouses, and the punishment for such “indecency” is whipping or stoning.Fatwa 9693, Part No. 12, Page 381 & 382
· Women are not permitted to speak softly to a man or otherwise provoke his desire with letters, phone calls or glances, the punishment of which is whipping or stoning.Fatwa 9693, Part No. 12, Page 381 & 382
Sharia Law & Civil Matters:
· A man may divorce his wife by simply giving her a triple talaq (saying “I divorce you” three times simultaneously).Fatwa 6542, 2nd question
· A woman whose husband divorces her three times by simply saying “I divorce you”, even if divorced against her will, cannot seek alimony unless she is pregnant.Fatwa 20918, Part No. 20, Page 227
· A man may not adopt any children, even if they are his stepchildren born to his wife from a prior marriage. Fatwa 5124, Part No. 9, Page 10
· Men are entitled to twice the amount of inheritance a woman receives, regardless of what a person’s wishes are as detailed in a will.Fatwa 8778, Part No. 21, Page 234
Sharia Law & Business Matters:
· Since usury (charging or paying interest) is a sin, working at banks with interest-bearing deposits, keeping money in interest-bearing deposits, or accepting loans that charge interest is prohibited.Fatwa 4011, Part No. 12, Page 80
· It is illegal to work in certain industries, such as retailers selling musical instruments, wine, tobacco, or music CDs; a photography studio; or any company that requires its employees to be photographed Fatwa 5436, Part No. 13, Page 42
· Muslims are encouraged not to enter into business partnerships with non-Muslims.Fatwa 5855, Part No. 2, Page 98 & 99
Sharia Law & Personal Hygiene:
· Women are required to pluck, depilate or otherwise remove all facial and body hair, with the exception of shaving the eyebrows or head. Fatwa 5007
· Men must let their beards grow without cutting but keep their mustache trimmed so as to appear different from non-Muslims. Fatwa 2196, Part No. 2, Page 41 & 42
· Failure to take a ritual bath for the purpose of purifying oneself after sexual intercourse is a sin that must be repented from and will invalidate one’s prayers to Allah. Fatwa 11188, Part No. 6, Page 19
Death Compensation
As already stated in· Fatwa 5414, Part No. 21, Page 245 If a Muslim kills a Jew or Christian dhimmi (one who pays the poll tax), he must pay only half the amount of “blood money” he would have to pay for killing a Muslim. Following is a listing of the required death compensation.
From the website of the Consulate General of India, Jeddah, who is recording these matters because they come up in connection with his people who are working in Saudi Arabia:
hi,
thanks for getting back to me admin.
as i was writing to you, it became clear to me that i had to pick my parents 🙁
neither me nor my boyfriend are religious types. he rarely prays, i rarely go to temples. but will that be the case once we marry and get on with the routine life? the issue for me really was not the religion itself, but he refused to share 🙁 there are no second thoughts that he loves me truly, will do anything to keep me happy. he says its not the religion, he would claim his rights as a father even if he was hindu and i was muslim. Thts true. my sister’s kid has her father’s name and caste, not my sisters. but i wud have asked for “my Rights” even if i was muslim and he a hindu. tell me, m i wrong? is it against the norm of the society for children to follow mothers religion if she wants? i just wanted us to share and have this beautiful “open house” 🙁 he says it will divide the children, confuse them. He says he will do whatever i takes to keep me happy, just let him have his fatherhood rights.
i thought i wud rather be selfish and keep my parents happy than be selfish, deprive them of peace and happiness. i am so sad to say we broke up 🙁 it might be the biggest mistake of my life walking away from him, my love. but i am walking towards my parents, they deserve this. i will find happiness in theirs 🙁
i Thank everyone who listened to me, helped me make my decision. will get back on how i am feeling, right now “its lonely” 🙁
See above in the post.
Well done dear Adi.. There are lots of Hindu girls trapped by muslims. But the problem is muslim never believe easily. They are only loyal to their religion rather than nation. Be aware such religion
LOL Chand Osmani(admin), you really entertain me a lot, what is fatwa and their page number, who wrote this book fatwa, we don`t follow any book like fatwa, Islam is based on Quran.
This is a fake story, fabricated to patronize islam and its evil practices.
Who will like to live in burqa, face female genital mutiliation, tripple talak, domestic violence, halala practices, mutta marriages?
don’t marry him boys marry mulim girls OK cos Hindu parents girl want governmen jobs so boy has no choice to go other religion girl he conver he want but girl don’t fit here has many choice
I would allow her to follow her religion in our home. But as far as childrens are consider I’m lil confused.
Why?
Then is that okay to have children Hindu only?
Jain and Hindu have children following both faiths!
I mostly agree with admin, but I wanna highlight some points about taalak.
One can’t say talaak 3 times in a min.
Saying talaak one time is valid when a period of 3 months is over. For next I.e second talaak next 3 months and so for third talaak.
During this time of nine months couple go through different counsellings and therapy.
Family discussion and all.
P.S : I am not a Islamic scholar, pls go to one to know more.
Thank you
Thanks brother for highlighting the points. .
Admin knew of this earlier..but he wants to spoil the image of islam to other unknown knowledge people..
Islam is against on divorce(talaq) and divorce comes from devil(satan)
Thanks. Basically, after the husband decides, the wife could be out legally in 6 months. This are legally enforceable and valid in India, correct?
Thanks. Basically, after the husband decides, the wife could be out legally in 6 months. This are legally enforceable and valid in India, correct?
No, divorce is not a simple thing as ur wish u can say like that.
There is not a single concept of “force” in islam unlike hinduism
Those who give Divorce with no reason causes a major sinand its prohibited in islam
If some one wants to give divorce with a valid reason then he can give according to islamic law