Ashu says: August 30, 2014 at 1:08 am
Dear Admin, I am a hindu from a Nair family in love with a Mar thoma guy from the past 3 years. We both believe in God and don’t want religion to come in our way.
Being the only daughter, it was very difficult to convince my parents into this but now they are kinda okay just for my happiness. His parents know about us and they want him to discuss with me about conversion. However i do not want to convert as i believe strongly in hinduism and converting would be the worst thing i could do to my parents.
I am completely fine with my kids being a Christian. We are okay with court marriage but i want to know if i am not ready for conversion, will he or his family be kicked out of the church they are registered with?? Please help as parting ways with him wont be a solution for me. Regards. -Ashu
Admin says:
Dear Ashu,
Thank you for reaching out to us. You said, “don’t want religion to come in our way” however it is almost impossible that Marthoma church will let your dream come true. Mar Thoma church will come in your way and a big time.
You got to ask a very important question to your lover. For him, what is more important? Is that his church, or you? How much is he willing to protect you against wishes of her parents (to convert you) and their church? If he is mommy’s boy, there is a big trouble waiting for you after marriage. Are you okay being submissive like Nusrat?
If your parents are “kinda okay just for my happiness”, then you need to double make sure you do not cheat them. Do not do any thing without clearly discussing with them. Do not bring shame and disgrace to them. Remember, after marriage, if you don’t fit into Marthoma ideology, it’s only your parents who will take you back after divorce. Read Hinu.
Read all Marthoma-Hindu marriage cases; see how your case is different. Further, view our video message for what to do and what not to in interfaith marriage.
You said, “fine with my kids being a Christian”, why? Remember the expression, those who pray together, stay together. Think your life 15 years from today. What would you do when your 10 years old baptized daughter will complain that …
Mom, why don’t you come to our church every Sunday?
Mom, you are not baptized and thus you are a sinner and going to go to hell (read KcKenna).
Mom, why are you praying to idols like Krishna and Rama, why not break you idols as it suggest in the bible? (do you want your daughter to be like Molly?)
Mom, I feel you are not sincere to Jesus when you pray at dinner table every day, I don’t like it?
Why your daughter will say all these things? It was your fault because you allowed her to be monotheist, exclusivist and supremacist Marthoma. If you don’t want to see such day in your life, teach your daughter from the first day that God is for every one, God is not partial to Christians. Jesus and Krishna, both, are God (Godly). Take her to Marthoma and your Hindu temple every week. Teach her best things from the Bible and also from Geeta. Do not baptize her as a child but let her make her own decision as an adult age 20+ (like President Barak Obama did). What is wrong raising her a pluralist?
You are concerned that “his family be kicked out of the church they are registered with??” That is not your concern. It is in your best interest that they dissociate from that church. Let us ask you a question. If one of your Hindu temple make irrational request for your family, what will you do? We assume you simple stop going to that temple and join a new one. Instead of Marthoma church, follow Jesus.
We agree to you that “parting ways with him wont be a solution for me”, but it is possible only if you educate your lover to respect ALL faiths, especially yours. Being submissive is not a solution because there will not be any end to their expectations. Instead, take a strong stand with your boy friend that neither you nor your children will be baptized, take it or leave it. He will rattle for a year or so, but ultimately he will come around and honor your request. After that, give him and your in-laws double love and happily enjoy your interfaith marriage with equality for years to come. Is this logical? -Admin
More information: Marthoma, Interfaith marriage with equality, Hindu-Christian Marriage, Bible on Hindus? Christian-Hindu relationships, Marriage & Divorce laws.
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Dear Admin,
Thank you so much for your response. I really needed someone who i could look up to during that phase. Things are okay now. His family has understood how strongly i believe in my religion & isn’t asking for conversion anymore. As far as kids are concerned, we have decided that we would be teaching them about both the religions and once they grow up it is their decision to chose which one to follow. And for people who would be reading this & have a doubt, let me clarify..if you are a non-Christian wanting to marry a Marthoma guy/girl, his/her parents won’t be kicked out of the church but the respective guy/girl would. We confirmed this with a Marthoma church priest.
P.S. Thanks Admin 🙂 May God bless u 🙂
Dear Ashu,
We are very happy for you. We are proud of you that you decided live your life with dignity and pride. It is not worth being “submissive” in life to please others, because there is no end to other’s demands. You are willing to respect others but not willing to take undue pressure (shit) from others. Keep it up!
Can you explain to us “As far as kids are concerned, we have decided that we would be teaching them about both the religions and once they grow up it is their decision to chose which one to follow” … means? Are your kids going to be baptized in their young age till 18 or that is no no? This is a very critical point. Let us know.