Friend V says: December 25, 2012 at 11:49 am
Hi All,
If anyone of you are planning to marry a muslim boy think thousand and thousands of time. It might be an end to you future. After conversion your whole life will revolve around his religion. This religion, Islam, is not at all a religion of peace.
If the person really loves you then why dont you ask him to convert to your religion? I bet he (Muslim) will NEVER do (reciprocate) that. Because his only motive is to convert you to islam. This is love jihad due to which massive conversion is underway in european countries and also in states like kerala in india. Be aware of it.
One of my very good friend’s sister married a muslim boy in Mumbai, india against the wish of her parent. Now she is being tortured by her husband to pray 5 times a day. On the other side her parent’s family is in deep trauma as she was their only girl child in the whole family. The girl now wants to come back home but now she has a girl child and she is not sure what to do.
I would once again request every girl to think nicely before you taken any decision. God has given us brain higher than our heart for some reason. -Friend V
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Also read: Islamic Women Today, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu girl, Muslim girl, Hindu boy, Muslim boy,
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If you convert to Islam, I would marry you (to a Christian)
Mr. Admin u r totally wrong.. I disagree with u.. Ur statement is totally false and anti Islam..go to hell with ur all wrong thinking.
And Islam honours women as daughters , and encourages us to raise them well and educate them.Islam states that raising daughters will bring a great reward. For example, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood, he and I will come like this on the Day of Resurrection,” and he held his fingers together. Narrated by Muslim, 2631.
Ibn Maajah (3669) narrated that ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard theMessenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Whoever has three daughters and is patient towards them, and feeds them, gives them to drink and clothes them from his riches, they will be a shield for him from the Fire on the Day of Resurrection.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.
Islam honours woman as sisters and as aunts . Islam enjoins upholding the ties of kinship and forbids severing those ties in many texts. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O people! Spread (the greeting of) salaam, offer food (to the needy), uphold the ties of kinship, and pray at night when people are sleeping, and you will enter Paradise in peace.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 3251; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh IbnMaajah.
Al-Bukhaari (5988) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah, may He be exalted, said to the ties of kinship: ‘Whoever upholds you, I will support him, and whoever breaks you, I will cuthim off.’”
All of these qualities may co-exist in a single woman: she may be a wife, a daughter, a mother, a sister, an aunt, so she may be honoured in all these ways.
To conclude: Islam raised the status of women , and made them equal with men in most rulings. So women, like men, are commanded to believe in Allaah and to worship Him. And women are made equal to men in terms ofreward in the Hereafter. Women have the right to express themselves, to give sincere advice,to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to call people to Allaah. Women have the right to own property, to buy and sell, to inherit, to give charity and to givegifts. It is not permissible for anyone to take a woman’s wealth without her consent. Women have the right to a decent life, without facing aggression or being wronged. Women have the right to be educated; in fact it is obligatory to teach them what they need to know about their religion.
Anyone who compares the rights of women in Islam with their situation during the Jaahiliyyah orin other civilizations will understand that what we are saying is true. In fact we are certain that women are given the greatest honour in Islam.
There is no need for us to mention the situation of women in Greek, Persian or Jewish society,but even Christian societies had a bad attitude towards women. Thetheologians even gathered at the Council of Macon to discuss whether woman was merely a body or a body with a soul. They thought it most likely that womendid not have a soul that could be saved, and they made an exception only in the case of Mary(Maryam – peace be upon her).
The French held a conference in 586 CE to discuss whether womenhad souls or not, and if they had souls, were these souls animal or human? In the end, they decided that they were human! But they were created to serve men only.
During the time of Henry VIII, the English Parliament issued a decree forbidding women to read the New Testament because they were regarded as impure.
Until 1805, English law allowed a man to sell his wife, and set a wife’s price at six pennies.
In the modern age, women were kicked out of the house at the ageof eighteen so that they could start working to earn a bite to eat. If a woman wanted to stay inthe house, she had to pay her parents rent for her room and payfor her food and laundry.
See ‘Awdat al-Hijaab, 2/47-56.
How can this compare to Islam which enjoins honouring and kindtreatment of women, and spending on them?
Secondly: With regard to the changes in these rights throughout the ages, the basic principles have not changed, but with regard to the application of these principles, there can be no doubt that during the golden age of Islam, the Muslims applied the sharee’ah of their Lord more, and the rulings of this sharee’ah include honouring one’s mother and treating one’s wife, daughter,sister and women in general in a kind manner. The weaker religiouscommitment grew, the more these rights were neglected, but until the Day of Resurrection there will continue to be a group who adheres to their religion and applies the sharee’ah of their Lord.These are the people who honour women the most and grant them their rights.
Despite the weakness of religious commitment among many Muslims nowadays, women still enjoy a high status, whether as daughters, wives or sisters, whilstwe acknowledge that there are shortcomings, wrongdoing and neglect of women’s rights among some people, but each one will be answerable
Islam honours women greatly.
It honours women as mothers who must be respected, obeyed and treated with kindness. Pleasing one’s mother is regarded as part of pleasing Allaah. Islam tells us that Paradise lies at the mother’s feet, i.e. that the best way to reach Paradise is through one’s mother. And Islam forbids disobeying one’s mother or making her angry,even by saying a mild word of disrespect. The mother’s rights aregreater than those of the father, and the duty to take care of her grows greater as the mother grows older and weaker. All of that is mentioned in many texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah.
For example, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And We have enjoined on man tobe dutiful and kind to his parents”[al-Ahqaaf 46:15]
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both ofthem attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.
And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” [al-Isra’ 17:23, 24]
Ibn Maajah (2781) narrated that Mu’aawiyah ibn Jaahimiah al-Sulami (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go for jihad with you, seeking thereby the Face of Allaahand the Hereafter. He said, “Woe to you! Is your mother still alive?” I said, Yes. He said, “Go back and honour her.” Then I approached him from the other side and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go for jihad with you, seeking thereby the Face of Allaah and theHereafter. He said, “Woe to you! Isyour mother still alive?” I said, Yes.He said, “Go back and honour her.”Then I approached him from in front and said, O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go for jihad with you, seeking thereby the Face of Allaah and the Hereafter. He said, “Woe to you! Is your mother still alive?” I said, Yes. He said, “Go back and honour her (lit. stay by her feet), for there is Paradise.”
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah. It was also narrated by al-Nasaa’i with the words: “Stay with her for Paradise is beneath her feet.”
Al-Bukhaari (5971) and Muslim (2548) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came to theMessenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, who is most deserving of my good company?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then who?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then who?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then who?” He said: “Then your father.” And there are other texts which we donot have room to mention here.
One of the rights which Islam gives to the mother is that her son should spend on her if she needs that support, so long as he is able and can afford it. Hence formany centuries it was unheard of among the people of Islam for a mother to be left in an old-people’s home or for a son to kick her out of the house, or for her sons to refuse to spend on her, or for her to need to work in order to eat and drink if her sons were present.
Islam also honours women as wives . Islam urges the husband to treat his wife in a good and kind manner, and says that the wife has rights over the husband like his rights over her, except that he has a degree over her, because of his responsibility of spending and taking care of the family’s affairs. Islam states that the best of the Muslim men is the one who treats his wife in the best manner, and the man is forbidden to take his wife’s money without her consent. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “and live with them honourably” [al-Nisa’ 4:19]
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) towhat is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise” [al-Baqarah 2:228]
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I urge you to treat women well.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 331; Muslim, 1468.
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
And Islam honours women as daughters , and encourages us to raise them well and educate them.Islam states that raising daughters will bring a great reward. For example, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood, he and I will come like this on the Day of Resurrection,” and he held his fingers together. Narrated by Muslim, 2631.
Suhail,
Does this statement “It honours women as mothers who must be respected” applies to all women of this World or only to Muslim women?
Islam honours women greatly. It honours women as mothers who must be respected, obeyed and treated with kindness. Pleasing one’s mother is regarded as part of pleasing Allaah. Islam tells us that Paradise lies at the mother’s feet, i.e. that the best way to reach Paradise is through one’s mother. And Islam forbids disobeying one’s mother or making her angry,even by saying a mild word of disrespect. The mother’s rights aregreater than those of the father, and the duty to take care of her grows greater as the mother grows older and weaker. All of that is mentioned in many texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah.
For example, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And We have enjoined on man tobe dutiful and kind to his parents”[al-Ahqaaf 46:15]
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both ofthem attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.
And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” [al-Isra’ 17:23, 24]
Ibn Maajah (2781) narrated that Mu’aawiyah ibn Jaahimiah al-Sulami (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go for jihad with you, seeking thereby the Face of Allaahand the Hereafter. He said, “Woe to you! Is your mother still alive?” I said, Yes. He said, “Go back and honour her.” Then I approached him from the other side and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go for jihad with you, seeking thereby the Face of Allaah and theHereafter. He said, “Woe to you! Isyour mother still alive?” I said, Yes.He said, “Go back and honour her.”Then I approached him from in front and said, O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go for jihad with you, seeking thereby the Face of Allaah and the Hereafter. He said, “Woe to you! Is your mother still alive?” I said, Yes. He said, “Go back and honour her (lit. stay by her feet), for there is Paradise.”
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah. It was also narrated by al-Nasaa’i with the words: “Stay with her for Paradise is beneath her feet.”
Al-Bukhaari (5971) and Muslim (2548) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came to theMessenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, who is most deserving of my good company?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then who?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then who?” He said: “Your mother.” He said: “Then who?” He said: “Then your father.” And there are other texts which we donot have room to mention here.
One of the rights which Islam gives to the mother is that her son should spend on her if she needs that support, so long as he is able and can afford it. Hence formany centuries it was unheard of among the people of Islam for a mother to be left in an old-people’s home or for a son to kick her out of the house, or for her sons to refuse to spend on her, or for her to need to work in order to eat and drink if her sons were present.
Islam also honours women as wives . Islam urges the husband to treat his wife in a good and kind manner, and says that the wife has rights over the husband like his rights over her, except that he has a degree over her, because of his responsibility of spending and taking care of the family’s affairs. Islam states that the best of the Muslim men is the one who treats his wife in the best manner, and the man is forbidden to take his wife’s money without her consent. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “and live with them honourably” [al-Nisa’ 4:19]
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) towhat is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise” [al-Baqarah 2:228]
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I urge you to treat women well.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 331; Muslim, 1468.
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
And Islam honours women as daughters , and encourages us to raise them well and educate them.Islam states that raising daughters will bring a great reward. For example, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood, he and I will come like this on the Day of Resurrection,” and he held his fingers together. Narrated by Muslim, 2631.
All stories fake under muslim names and Those who marry non muslims did not remain muslims and will go to hell forever life after death. tell them you are not muslims. To learn about islam vist http://www.usislam.org for more ioformation about islam as it is a website totally truth about islam.
zneen says: January 3, 2013 at 5:13 am
Hello Admn.
I am attempting to reply your points raised for discussion in the beginning?
1. Premarital sex is a crime or not, it all depends on the situation. If an innocent girl is raped or forced to sexual favour due to her some miserable situation, how it could be a crime. In the muslim community raping a slave girl or non muslim is not a crime. In todays free environment hardly 2% girls will not be virgin before wedding night atleast in western countries or talibani dominated areas, where rape is a matter of routine events.
2.Mailes are not required to prove their virginity because of male dominated society almost every where, and the sexual organ having different shapes and sizes. In muslim community atleast male does not need to prove it because of privileges given in Koran, to marry 4 wives or give them talak, if not satisfied. Males have complete freedom in islam treating them just like a sex dolls.
But such discrimination cannot be permitted in the eyes of Lord, who have created both male and female. Inspite of so much cruelty, discrimination, violence sexual assault no body dares to speak against Islam.
3. Hymen bleeding is not a 100% proof of virginity now a days due to option of hymen repair surgery available in all countries. Even if bleeding occurs, even then wives are given divorce in search of another women for sex. In muslim community restrictions are so much, that sense of insecurity among wives are prevailing. Regarding sports to the girls, it cannot be stopped. Girls are recruited in army and police too, doing drill and physical exercises even in muslim countries, leading to breaking of hymen at times. Girls are participating in international tournaments of all types, so principle of equality does not permit to deny their rightful privileges.
4.The blood stains are considered to be proof of virginity in a girl, who has not indulged in a sex prior to marriage and she is pure.
Only due to this factor, the girls who can afford to go for surgery, they choose to do so and please their husband about her purity. But the poor girls who cannot afford it, they adopt other methods, like secretly sprinkling red ink or other red liquid on the bed sheet on the wedding night, as one of our sisters had pointed putting animal blood stains on the bed sheet. In muslim countries the business of hymen repair surgery is flourishing manifold, as the girls are not able to be keep their hymen intact prior to marriage due to one or other reasons.
5. This practice is more prevalent in muslim community being the mind set of males and Koran. Even Jihadies are offered to get 72 virgins in the heaven. Muslim males want their wives to be virgin and self indulging sexual games with hundreds of other women. It is all evils of islamic religion, where women have no say, they are just fields, to be ploughed like any thing. Mullas and Maulvies/Imams are the most curel and corrupt elements of the muslim society preaching male domination and indulging sexual favours with any female, whom they like.
6.For all evils in Islam, Koran, Prophet Mohammad and Sharia laws are responsible, who proclaim the orders of Allah? Can a God be so cruel against females? Imam/Mullas/Maulvies always interpret laws which suits to the males. Females in the islamic community has to lead a very miserable life under restrictions, torture, domestic violence and separation at any time. Islam is a relgion of blood shed, violence, murder, rape, looting, killing, kidnapping in the name of religion for thousand of years. Now Talibani, Al Quaida and other terrorists factions insisting for islamic rules in the world, so that they can enjoy sexual pleasure freely and commit attrocities on the females.
EVEN IN SOME COUNTRIES SEX WITH DEAD WIFE IS PERMISSIBLE, WHAT A INHUMAN ACT?
7. Solution for these evils lies on the muslim women by:-
(i) raising their voice against cruelties,
(ii) take support from non muslim women,
(iii) mass education programme for muslim girls,
(iv) openly resist implementation of inhuman practices like circumcision among females, talak procedue to be made more rational and not at the will of the male.
(v) Hymen repair surgery equally good for women, if the males can cheat the females, why not females to react in the same pattern?
(vi) representation of women in all forums to voice their concern?
May kindly give your views also.
Also ask Aamir and other like minded persons, who are keeping silent for some time, to give their comments on this issue.
Thanks.
Ye Admin
Bhain ka lauda, is ki Amma ku jab
100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 kutte (Dogs)and
100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 Ghade (Donkeys)
100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 Suwar (Pigs)
and every of this animals
100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times Fucked her
Mother,
jab jaaker ye Kutta,Ghadha,Suwar Paida hua hy,
Isiliye isne aise website banaya hy.
Hindu girls should understand that Islam leaves no room for tolerating non muslims. They reserve pure contempt for Hindus. In one of cases, I remember how badly after marriage muslim guy used to beat his non muslim wife.. I do not find any place for non muslim girls to get interested in muslim guys to adopt burqa, restrict their fundamental freedoms.Parents and brother left such girls for no choice to them, as the girls equally harsh towards them at the time of marriage and when every thing they have,they have no right to criticize. This is all due to evil and anti women teachings in the islamic religion favouring criminal, hyprocrate and fundamentalists. I know how cruel are the muslim guys under the pretext of religion cover
Hello Tahira,
While Chinese women work to produce anything that sells and raise their country to new heights as an emerging power, Muslim women remain embroiled still in proving that their worth is more than just their virginity
Clerics in Egypt are in a quandary. A new device made by a Chinese company threatens to make every Egyptian woman who uses it, a virgin. The “Artificial Virginity Hymen Kit” distributed by Gigimo costs about USD30 and is intended to help newly married women fool their husbands into believing that they are virgins by producing a small amount of blood-like substance during intercourse.
The controversy began when a reporter from a Dutch radio station broadcast an Arabic translation of the Chinese advertisement for the product. Conservative members of the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt’s Parliament have since asked for a ban on the device. Prominent Egyptian scholar Abdel Moati Bayoumi said anyone who imports the device should be punished, saying “This product encourages illicit sexual relations; Islamic culture forbids these relations except within the confines of marriage.”
The controversy over virginity and the newly-provided ability to fake it, hits at the center of questions regarding the status of women in much of the Muslim world. Questions regarding female purity hold a crucial position in evaluating the worth of a woman and negotiating marriage contracts. In Egypt itself, thousands of women undergo hymen reconstruction surgery every year to fulfill preconditions of virginity for marriage and avoid bringing shame to families.
The practice of hymen reconstruction surgery has migrated with Arab populations to European countries like France where young Muslim women may undergo the half-hour surgery for a cost of about 2000 Euros. Others choose to go back to countries like Tunisia where they can get the surgery at lower cost. The surgery is legal in the European Union as well as in the United States where it falls in the category of elective surgery.
While surgery itself is less common in Pakistan, women are routinely abused, tortured and even killed if they are found to be non-virgins upon being wed. In several cases, young brides have been known to commit suicide rather than risk bringing shame to their families.
The issue of whether virginity constitutes the total worth of a woman upon marriage (rendering her otherwise unmarriageable) was dealt with recently in a courtroom in the French city of Lille where the judge initially ruled that a marriage between a Muslim man and a woman could be annulled because the bride had lied about her virginity.
A French appeals court then took up the issue of whether virginity was “an essential quality of a woman” and ended up reversing the previous decision that had decreed lying about virginity to be grounds for fraud that would justify annulment. Of course, the outcome of the case would have been markedly different under Islamic law where deception regarding the virginity of the bride would result both in an annulment of the marriage and a repudiation of the dower.
Expectedly, as the news clips from Egypt amply illustrate, much of the clerical debate over the device has focused on the fact that it allows women to fake and flout the theological precept prescribing a prohibition on pre-marital sexual relations. No argument is provided for the fact that the male involved may also have come to the marriage without proof of virginity, which is equally theologically culpable but less easily verified. The assumption is that women’s virginity must necessarily be verifiable hence necessitating the ban on the Chinese virginity gadget while male virginity can conveniently be glossed over.
Equally sexist are attempts to justify the concern over women’s virginity as motivated by ensuring the sexual purity of society in general since it ignores the reality that every pre- or extra-marital heterosexual act by definition involves two parties, one male and one female, which are both equally responsible for their actions.
The fact is, in Egypt, as in a majority of Muslim countries, the onus of protecting a society’s delusions of purity and piety are placed solely and singularly on the shoulders of women. In ensuring that virgins are venerated and non-virgins vilified, social constructions of good and bad women are enforced in a society where the value of a woman is little else than her ability to breed sons, please her husband and be a good housekeeper. The myth that is continually forwarded is that all those women who are not virgins are somehow dirty, impure and unworthy of marriage. No consideration is given to the fact that the majority of these women may be widows, divorcees or victims of sexual assault. In other words, male complicity in reducing women to a non-virgin status is completely ignored in the whole discussion.
Because of this, thousands of widows, divorcees and rape victims in countries like Pakistan and Saudi Arabia are forced to live lives at the very margins of social acceptability. Not only can they not expect to be married again, they are further dealt the burden of being somehow morally compromised simply because they are no longer the pure virgins venerated as brides. Examples from Islamic history that suggest otherwise, for instance, the notable fact that the first marriage of the Prophet (pbuh) was to a widow are given short shrift and virtually ignored.
It is interesting indeed, that the device in question that provides Muslim women with some semblance of empowerment against the strictures of proving their purity has been made in China. Indeed, it brings to focus the vast disparity between nations like China, who have put their women to work and hence harnessed 51% of an unused labor force to become a manufacturing super power and countries like Pakistan and Egypt who are still squabbling over inanities that necessitate a device like the Artificial Hymen Kit.
While Chinese women work to produce anything that sells and raise their country to new heights as an emerging power, Muslim women remain embroiled still in proving that their worth is more than just their virginity
Hi
France, has 5 million Muslim population, despite being a liberal democratic country, Hymen repair and issue of fake virginity certificates by Doctors, is high. In Muslim community chastity is linked to bridal purity and family honor. Even though Muslim women are emancipated, they still live under rigid codes of family honor. Thus women are forced to go for surgery (To repair hymens, the membrane usually broken by the first act of sexual intercourse) to go to marriage bed as virgins. These acts clash with liberal social mores of France, but has become mandatory for the young muslim women to prove their virginity. The hymen repair surgery performed under general anesthesia takes 20-30 minutes and costs about $500.
I am from Paris now, and have also under gone the above procedure to please my husband but still fearful whether he would love me throughout the life, after reading and heard so much general condition of females in Muslim community. My father is a staunch support of islam and does not like me to marry non-muslims. I am a working girl, have pre marital sexual contacts and thus necessiated me to under go above procedure. About 95% muslim girls are now adopting this procedure to have smooth sailing in the inlaws house. In fact, I wanted to marry a budhdhist boy, who had sexual relations with me, but due to pressure from my parents, I could not move further.
Please guide me.
Reply to Tahira at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=3908
Hello every one,
Female circumcision, otherwise referred to as female genital mutilation by critics, involves surgery on a young woman’s clitoris, major and minor labia, and is considered a culturally significant practice in many African countries. The practice has a longstanding history, and is said to be one of the most significant rites of passage young women undergo. This, however, does not protect it from being considered by most of the world, myself included, as a brutal, inhumane act that destroys an important aspect of female sexuality.
Unlike male circumcision, women who undergo this procedure experience compromises in their physical and sexual health. In the most extreme form of female circumcision, referred to as infibulation, the entire clitoris and most of the major and minor labia are completely removed, often with unsterilized scissors, razor blades, and other non-surgical cutting tools. Opponents of banning this practice state that it has important religious, marital, and health benefits. These claims, however, have largely been debunked through basic sociological, anthropological, and medical knowledge.
The first claim of this practice is that it fulfills an important religious requirement. Most of the people practicing this ritual are Muslim, however the Koran makes no mention of removing components of female genitalia. The Koran says, “Reduce, but do not destroy,” but destruction is exactly what is happening to the genitals of young women in these countries. No commands were ever made by the Prophet that women need to be circumcised. I find this ironic-religion is referenced as the number one reason, yet the religion makes no mention of female circumcision to the extent that it is being carried out. This misinterpretation has resulted in crude mutilation with minimal religious relevance.
The second claim is that it preserves group identity. This may be true, but that is only because it is considered a cultural norm. In these patriarchal societies, women are considered inferior by many of the men if they are not circumcised. Naturally, most women have come to see this as a requirement should they ever want to wed, thus perpetuating the perceived need to undergo the procedure. I see this as an example of how male domination, and the resulting female submission, has normalized a disabling, oppressive, medically unsafe act under the guise of a rite of passage.
The third major claim is that the procedure helps to maintain cleanliness and health. This is simply not true. Due to a lack of health education in these countries, the cause-and-effect connection is not drawn in that surgically removing components of female genitalia actually compromises health: it leads to constant infection, reproductive complications, and, in many cases, death of the woman. I understand that our health education is more comprehensive and scientifically based in the Western world than in the African countries and cultures that practice female circumcision, but when there is resistance in the presence of such facts, which have been made available to these cultures, I see it as denial and reluctance to change based on preserving tradition.
People who practice female circumcision fail to realize that removal of one’s genitals does not eliminate sexual desire or further marriage goals through its promise of chastity-it only eliminates the ability to have an orgasm. Desire to achieve sexual satisfaction does not diminish for the woman. In fact, many women end up having multiple partners due to the inability to achieve sexual gratification. In essence, female circumcision’s Western equivalent is Abstinence-Only Education, which is largely considered a failure. Additionally, preserving family honor is not a strong enough reason to protect this act from being banned. Many cultures used to perform mercy killings of their daughters under the excuse of restoring family honor, especially in the case of infidelity or other perceived atrocities, yet this is now banned as murder is illegal worldwide. Why can’t local governments advocate for the welfare of their women and ban this act as well?
Opponents of banning female circumcision, such as those made by P. Masila Mutisya as featured in Taking Sides: Clashing Views in Human Sexuality, argue that prohibiting this rite of passage is an example of Western cultural imperialism. I wholeheartedly disagree-protecting the welfare of humans from dangerous, disabling surgical procedures is a humanitarian responsibility. The practitioners and countries who hold this ritual as culturally significant are misinformed about what it does to the female body, as most of their claims have been debunked by science and sexual knowledge-they are not criminals; they are simply operating from a medically naive standpoint.
Mutisya also argues that Western culture is practically devoid of all rites of passage, with the exception of marriage and death rituals. This ethnocentric response undermines the Western culture and discredits humane rites of passage. It also fails to recognize many other healthy, humane rights of passage such as first haircuts, high school and college graduation, and Coming of Age ceremonies (Unitarian Universalism). Mutisya is attempting to argue that Western people cannot relate to the importance of these African rites of passage, yet he fails to realize that almost every culture has them in some form or another.
While I do acknowledge the important passage female circumcision represents-the transition from a girl to a woman-I believe the practice does not take into account the welfare of the women. As the author in favor of prohibition says, “We all share common goals like the desirability of promoting people’s health, happiness, opportunities, and cooperation, and the wisdom of stopping…torture and exploitation. These common goals make up a world community (Kopelman, 1994).” What she means by this is that we need to assess and address the harm this procedure is causing to young women, put culture aside, and intervene. A ban on such practices will not have the effects that Mutisya says it will-it will not break a culture apart; it will allow compensatory rituals to be decided and instated by the practicing cultures that are more humane.
Legally and ethically, I do believe female genital mutilation should be banned, but I am aware of the cultural need to recognize a female’s coming-of-age. Though I disagree with the practice, I am not strongly opposed to the pricking of the clitoris or labia as a means of recognizing a transition from adolescence to adulthood, so long as there are not any long-term effects, and that it is performed in a sanitary manner. The complete removal of the clitoris as in type 2 and 3 circumcision, however, is abusive, unnecessary, and needs to change. I am grateful for the efforts of human rights campaigns, but I strongly believe any change short of a ban needs to come from a prominent voice within the culture as outside influences have failed thus far.
The legacy of female circumcision is not to be revered-it is to be challenged against modern ethical principles, changing worldviews, and humanitarian movements. Even the most conservative world religions have adapted to societal changes, so there is no reason practicing cultures should continue to perform these detrimental acts in the face of well-substantiated opposition. If practitioners of infibulation knew the facts and accepted the science, they would realize that it is not only failing to accomplish the goals it was originally intended to, it is compromising the health of a very important half of their population. I believe even the most patriarchal societies care about protecting the life of their women; the argument simply needs to be repackaged in a culturally sensitive way, and come from within, so that these humanitarian efforts can prevail
Hello sisters,
I am describing a pathetic story of afgan girl, who did not accept for sexual abuse to favour fundamentalists.
— When she refused to prostitute herself or have sex with the man she was forced to marry when she was about 13, officials said, Sahar Gul’s in-laws tortured her and threw her into a dirty, windowless cellar for months until the police discovered her lying in hay and animal dung.
In July, an appeals court upheld prison sentences of 10 years each for three of her in-laws, a decision heralded as a legal triumph underscoring the advances for women’s rights in the past decade. She is recovering from her wounds, physical and emotional, in a women’s shelter in Kabul.
But to many rights advocates, Sahar Gul’s case, which drew attention from President Hamid Karzai and the international news media, is the exception that proves the rule: a small victory that masks a still-depressing picture of widespread instances of abuse of women that never come to light.
Further, advocacy groups fear that even the tentative progress that has been achieved in protecting some women could be undone if the West’s focus on Afghanistan now begins to shift away as NATO troops withdraw and the international money pumped into the economy diminishes.
“If you take away that funding and pressure, it is not sustainable,” said Heather Barr, Afghanistan researcher for Human Rights Watch.
As more details of Sahar Gul’s case have come to light — including the fact that the abuse continued even as, time and again, neighbors, police officers and her family members voiced suspicions that something was wrong — it has only reinforced how vulnerable women and girls still are in Afghanistan, particularly in rural areas where under-age marriages are common and forced ones are typical.
Sahar Gul, who is now about 14, grew up in Badakhshan, a poor, mountainous province in the north. As a young child she was shuffled around after her father died, ending up with her stepbrother, Mohammad, when she was about 9. She helped with the hard work — tending cows, sheep and an orchard of walnut and apricot trees, and making dung bricks for the fire — but her stepbrother’s wife resented her presence. The woman pressured Mohammad to give Sahar Gul up for marriage after he was contacted by a man, about 30, named Ghulam Sakhi — even though she had not yet reached the legal marriage age of 16, or 15 with a father’s consent.
In effect, Ghulam Sakhi bought her: he paid at least $5,000, according to government officials and prosecutors, an illegal exchange. He drove off with Sahar Gul to his parents’ home in Baghlan, another northern province hundreds of miles away.
Ghulam Sakhi’s first wife had fled after he and his mother beat her for not bearing children, according to Rahima Zarifi, the chairwoman of Baghlan’s women’s affairs department, and the mullah in the mosque in the town in Baghlan. In his search for a new wife, there may have been a reason Ghulam Sakhi’s family looked so far afield: they intended to force her into prostitution, according to Ms. Zarifi, who followed the case closely, and officials at the Ministry of Women’s Affairs in Kabul.
In Baghlan, the girl was immediately put to work cooking and cleaning, but she was able to resist consummating the marriage for weeks.
She ran away to the house of a neighbor, who alerted both the police and her husband’s family. Ghulam Sakhi’s neighbors and the police forced him to sign a letter promising not to mistreat Sahar Gul, though they let him take her back.
The warning had little effect. One day, when she complained of a headache, her mother-in-law, Siyamoi, tricked her into taking a sedative that she thought was medicine, said Mushtari Daqiq, a lawyer for the aid group Women for Afghan Women and also Sahar Gul’s lawyer.
“When she woke up in the morning, she realized she had been used by her husband,” Ms. Daqiq said.
A neighbor named Ehsanullah said that one evening last summer, as his family ate dinner, they heard screaming coming from the house. The following morning his mother called at the house. He recounted what she saw: “Sahar Gul had lost a lot of weight, her hands were covered with bruises and wounds, one of her hands was broken, but her mother-in-law was forcing her to do the laundry.” He added, “She kept her head down the whole time my mother was there.”
After a group of elders confronted Ghulam Sakhi, the screaming stopped.
Frustrated that the girl could not perform the housework they expected, the family put her in the cellar, where she slept on the floor without a mattress, her hands and feet tied with rope. She was given only bread and water to eat. She was also beaten regularly. According to Sahar Gul and Ms. Daqiq, most of the beatings were at the hand of Amanullah, Ghulam Sakhi’s elderly father.
They described grotesque crimes, accusing Amanullah of hitting Sahar Gul with sticks, biting her chest, inserting hot irons in her ears and vagina, and pulling out two fingernails.
“She was helpless,” Ms. Daqiq said. “She had no hope for her life.”
Sahar Gul’s uncle Khwaja, who lived nearby in the same province, and her stepbrother, Mohammad, tried to visit her a few times, but the family told them the girl was not home. The family then threatened Mohammad, warning that he had illegally given his sister to be married. “He had to accept and run back to Badakhshan without meeting his sister,” Khwaja said.
Then, last December, about six months after the marriage, they finally got to see her when they called at the house with two police officers and heard a voice coming from the cellar.
“In the light of our flashlight, we found Sahar Gul lying on a pile of hay,” said Shirullah, one of the police officers.
Her dress was in rags, she was barely conscious and she could not stand after weeks in the dark.
“She was constantly moaning,” Shirullah said. “She was in a horrible situation. She couldn’t move her body parts, and we carried her to the hospital in our arms.”
Ms. Zarifi and three nurses washed her and gave her soup and dates. “When she saw the food, she became very excited,” Ms. Zarifi said.
The police arrested the mother-in-law, Siyamoi, her daughter Mahkhurd and finally Amanullah, the father-in-law — who was discovered hiding in a burqa and a blanket.
The family told the police that Ghulam Sakhi was in the Afghan Army in Helmand. That was later found to be untrue, according to local residents and Afghan officials, but the claim bought enough time for him to slip away from the authorities along with his brother, Darmak. They remain at large.
With her mistreatment a big story in the Afghan news media, Mr. Karzai called for swift justice. In a district court in Kabul on May 1, the judge, speaking in front of a bank of microphones on national television, declared Sahar Gul’s three in-laws guilty.
According to neighbors and to officials who heard the in-laws’ arguments in court, they acted the way they did mostly because they felt they had paid good money for a girl who they said was not pretty, who misbehaved and who would neither work as they demanded nor bear them children.
Lawyers for the family members say that they deny beating or drugging Sahar Gul, and that her wounds were self-inflicted. They deny confining her in the cellar, and say they had no plans to send her into prostitution. The prostitution accusation was not addressed in court.
The lawyers, who were provided by the legal group Da Qanoon Ghushtonky, or Demanders of Law, which is financed by international aid, argue that the political outcry caused the trial to be rushed through without due process.
Rather than showing the lack of legal protections for women, they argued, Sahar Gul’s case underscores the weakness of Afghanistan’s still-developing legal system, one that can easily be swayed by politicians like Mr. Karzai.
Siyamoi and Mahkhurd are now 2 of 171 prisoners in a women’s prison in Kabul. On a recent morning there, the two women insisted they were innocent and railed ferociously at their accusers.
“We are being cheated by the court,” Siyamoi said. “If you think I am a criminal, why don’t you pull out my fingernails?”
A few miles away across Kabul, Sahar Gul lives in a shelter provided by Women for Afghan Women, one of seven shelters the organization has established nationally for abuse victims.
Sahar Gul played in the sun in the garden in a golden dress and purple shawl and pink bracelets, a round-cheeked, gangly girl. She had made a new friend at the shelter, a 14-year-old girl whose face was scarred by acid by a sister’s thwarted suitor.
Sahar Gul still bears the scars and bruises of her ordeal, but her caregivers said she was recovering and becoming gradually more independent. She said she had ambitions.
“I want to become a politician and stop other women suffering the same,” she said.
Now, however, rights groups fear that schools and clinics for girls may close as international money dries up and the political climate in Afghanistan becomes more religiously conservative, undermining the fragile lattice of pro-women support groups, government ministries and nongovernmental organizations as well as laws specifically created in the past few years to protect women.
A new 2009 law to eliminate violence against women was cited in the sentencing of Sahar Gul’s abusers, but the law is still barely applied, according to a United Nations report published in November, and it has not been formally adopted.
Women’s shelters are under threat, with a conservative justice minister describing them as “brothels,” while a new family law that could make it easier for abused women to divorce is being held up.
In such a climate, the fear is that Sahar Gul’s successful rescue may turn out to be an aberration rather than a new norm, and that it will not help those women whose suffering is not discovered.
“We have many cases perhaps graver than this where women are murdered,” Ms. Zarifi said. “No one hears anything about them.”
Vivek,
How did they got married? …we hope not by Nikaah and conversion. Tell the girl’s family to read all information on this web site and tell them to provide more details. Later, pass this link https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=3901 to the girl.
There is only one life, it is not worth living in hell, under torture and pain (especially in a free country like India). In worst case, divorce is not too bad an option, her parents could support her financially.