Sikh Girl with Pakistani Muslim in Dubai

Sona says: April 18, 2017 at 1:49 am

hi i m Sikh girl Indian i m working in Dubai and i fall love with Muslim guy who is from Pakistan we both wants to marry i dnt want t convert kindly advice me. -Sona


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27 Comments

  • Ganesh
    May 18, 2023 2:18 pm

    As I notice, only religion who are normally into hardcore converter are muslin. The meaning of love also changes with time. We might have fallen in love many times in our life. If not yet, you will notice later. People should never convert to get married. One should know and study about religion first. Try to listen ex-muslim sahil (indian), exmuslim Harris sultan(pakistan), Ex muslim Sameer etc. Check their youtube channel and then you will know more about Islam because they quote everything from their book.

  • November 30, 2018 9:19 am

    Indian sikh guy from London, UK here. I’ve had an experience with a similar situation which broke my family apart. I an not a part of the equation directly but it is one of my ‘friends’ from Uni and my mom. They are dating. Sameer and I were classmates during college time. It started as an affair during college time itself. He was an international student from Pakistan and I was a student assistance volunteer at that time, so I was assigned to help him get used to everything here. We became really good friends and he started coming over a lot for group study with me or just to hangout. That’s how he got introduced to mom and eventually got close.

    In hindsight, he seemed to be quite into her since the very beginning. Even, might have been hitting on her since then itself, but I didn’t now about it at that time. I started noticing it about a couple of months later. But still it felt like he was just being nice or friendly flirting more than anything else. At least, that’s what it was in front of me. It was by the starting of 2nd semester I started noticing that maybe he might trying something. But didn’t think much because mom was married and I didn’t expect there was any chance that she would fall for him. So I didn’t pay any attention to it or even bother to look into it. But they were already seeing each other (not openly though) by the end of 1st year of college itself. It has been going on since then. Dad, obviously, got suspicious eventually, which led to problems between him and mom.

    Mom tried to keep the affair from dad for some time, but others in college had also started to get hints of it as they both had been spotted in public in restaurants, movies or malls a few times being questionably close to each other so that further added to the questions. I guess then she just got too frustrated and eventually accepted it. Mom and dad separated then and their divorce came through in December 2016. Mom and Sam have been dating openly since mom and dad separated after having made their relationship official, rather than it just being an affair like earlier. Sam even moved in with mom in November last year which is getting quite awkward since we Indians live with our parents, and now having to see Sam take dad’s place even in the house is making it awkward for me. Him being from a different background as us means he has a different lifestyle and different habits and practices which he now says everyone should follow. Mom doesn’t seem to mind it at all and goes with everything he wants. He is a bit of a cocky person by nature too so that makes it more difficult. Keeps saying how HE is making things better than they had been before. They have talked about the possibility of marriage. It came up earlier when mom and dad were deciding their separation, but it hasn’t been talked about since. But even then he is bringing his practices and habits and trying to change everything here. I don’t understand why mom keeps going with everything he says or wants.

    Reply at https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=14925

    • lokesh
      August 30, 2019 5:18 am

      For all the folks reading these interfaith posts. i request u to watch youtube video made by the living legend Rajiv Malhotra. He describes the ugly face of interfaith marriage , and if any exceptions happen then what type of personality and background the person belongs to.
      Faith is supposed to be something personal. but cultural difference crop up and societies donot are uncomfortable with interfaith marriages.
      Muslims in nearly all cases are hardcore fundamentalists and their society is not secular in true sense.
      So just forget a legal relation with muslims, and avoid interfaith because 95% failure chance
      View: https://www.facebook.com/RajivMalhotra.Official/videos/892887927531212/

  • mac
    May 7, 2017 2:25 am

    Rabia, even Indian Judiciary is biased. Let’s take this case for example

    Not the ‘rarest of rare’ at all in India–
    A woman named Bilkis Bano.
    At the age of 19, pregnant Bilkis was gang-raped in front of her mother.
    Her mother was then raped in front her.
    Then 14 members of her family, including her 3 year old child was murdered.
    That was in 2002.
    After 15 years, a day before Nirbhaya’s rapists were given capital punishment, Bilkis’ rapists were given life term.
    And we all know the reason why Court didn’t consider it rarest of rare case since Bilkis Bano’s gang rape was state sponsored.

    • Rabia
      May 7, 2017 1:55 pm

      Mac, who was responsible for this rape? You said “state-sponsored”?

      I knew about nirbhaya from the news but had not heard of Bilkis Bano. What a terrible tragedy for any woman to go through…

    • May 25, 2017 9:41 am

      Please don’t convert
      I faced this problem

      After 25 years of marriage my Muslim wife left me

      So my advise to all…never marry Muslims

      Reply at https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=12399

  • Tanveer
    April 30, 2017 6:27 am

    I believe that humanity and love is bigger than any religion.
    If he is okay with the fact that you are Sikh and you wantto follow your religion life long then I see no harm in marrying him.
    These old people will always say about shame and all these crap but dont go with them. Change is the only constant.
    Ps- I m also a sikh

    • Admin
      April 30, 2017 4:50 pm

      Hi Tanveer,
      What is the guy ask the Sikh to convert to Islam and raise Children Muslims (Arabic names, Koranic teachings and glorifying Muhammad, not as much Guru Nanak ji)? Why not to ask that I am Sikh and will remain so and will never convert. Children will be Sikh as well as Muslim (by name, cloths, beard, teachings, visiting Gurudwara and Mosque, etc), is this not beautiful?

      • Tanveer
        April 30, 2017 11:12 pm

        ya.. that what my point was.
        If he is ok with the fact that you will remain sikh lifelong then what is the harm in marrying him?
        i read other coments where people said that twanj sharm aundi chahiye eh.. maa pyo baare socho..
        This all is rubbish.I dont see any shame in it

        • Admin
          May 1, 2017 7:01 am

          How many Sikh-Muslim marriages that you know where “you will remain sikh lifelong”? A Muslim will want Nikaah wedding that requires the Sikh to formally (and legally) be a Muslim. Historically, Muslim will want to convert the Sikh and erase that Sikh heritage. Let us know if you don’t agree. We have come across one Muslim who did not converted the Sikh but that is an exception and not rule.

          • May 1, 2017 2:42 pm

            A member of my family (Sikh) is married to a non practicing Muslim. They have been together 16 years and married 4 years with 2 children (with mix of half Sikh and half Muslim names) neither kids are forced into either religion.
            Neither of them converted, they just had a registery and not a Sikh marriage or Muslim marriage. People are very quick to judge but I though Sikhism was about equality.

            This is an extract I’ve taken from realsikhism:
            The more a married couple has in common, the more likely their marriage will be successful. Sikhism is a modern religion, and instructs that all humans are created equal. In no way Sikhism states that one should not marry another human because they are less of human or inferior. Neither does Sikhism state not to marry anyone from another religion. All humans are equal but people from different religions do have different beliefs. So, it is best to find someone who shares the same belief system as you or you both would like to learn and grow spiritually in the same path.

            In order to live a peaceful spiritual lifestyle to accomplish the purpose of the human life, one should get married to someone who agrees with and would like to follow the teachings of Sikh Gurus so that the couple can together carry on their journey to be One with God. To clarify, the teachings of Sikh Gurus are not focused on belonging to a particular religion, the teachings value becoming a good person, helping others, and loving God.

            Written very well. It’s a shame ‘Sikhs’ are making up their own beliefs within their own religion even though it’s meant to be about equality and being peaceful and spiritual. Actually I guess it’s the same for all religions. Just like someone mentioned that Muslims are forcing others to convert when this against Islam and they pretend it isn’t
            Religions have lost their innocence and pureness that was meant to bring humanity together. Not to divide us.

            God bless x

            Reply at https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=12327

          • Rabia
            May 2, 2017 4:56 am

            Admin, to have a nikkah, it is enough that you convert at the mosque or anywhere else with 2 witnesses and the imam will perform your nikkah after that – you do not need a legal changing of names or anything like that. Culturally people may practice it – especially in india – but I’m telling you from a religious perspective, it is not required to do this legally (ie name change on passport etc)

            Some Muslims I know, who have become scholars or Islam or community leaders in the west, have kept their original western/Christian names.

          • May 3, 2017 10:30 pm

            Understood that name change is not critical for Nikaah.
            Our message to all youths to be proud of your own faith and decline and conversion just for marriage. So we never recommend Nikaah because that requires conversion. If someone really wants to be a Muslim, might as well change name and dress and all, why not?

      • seerat
        October 1, 2019 11:30 am

        hi ,have you married with muslim guy?
        i m facing the same porblem i really need your advice

        • admin
          October 2, 2019 4:59 am

          Can you detail your situation here and we will be able to guide you step wise. Without details for what you want to do, it is difficult to help. Please get back, thank you.

        • LOKESH
          October 18, 2019 10:40 pm

          Hi Seerat

          There is a huge problem if u marry a muslim. It becomes a cultural issue also. Islam is not just a religion – it is a way of life. u r required to live a life prescribed by the society. Its certainly not a modern and forward thinking society. so my request – please DONT. i made that mistake many decades ago and suffering till date. All life becomes painful.
          BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. DONT TAKE HURRIED EMOTIONAL DECISION BECAUSE YOUR WHOLE LIFE GETS IMPACTED

      • seerat
        October 1, 2019 11:31 am

        hi , have you married that guy?
        i m facing the same suitation and i really need your advice

  • Singh
    April 28, 2017 12:53 pm
    • Rabia
      April 28, 2017 5:36 pm

      Singh saab, pehle AAPKO sharam aane chahiye that you are using such vulgar language against this girl you don’t even know, calling her such names! You can also be called a lot of names for that comment, speaking cheaply and in a vulgar manner won’t prove you right. Warna I’m sure she could also call you names, or I could, but since I’m trying to be a better person, I’ll refrain from such language (unless someone really deserves it)..

      This story – and many others like it- prove the point that the uneducated (uneducated in Islam, and possibly in general also) Muslims living in that village of Pakistan know nothing about the Qur’an and how forced conversion is HARAAM in Islam!

      Ask any Muslim scholar, anyone – even a conservative Deobandi from India – if they are half-educated about Islam, they will tell you forced conversion is absolutely NOT ALLOWED! It is against the Qur’an and all scholars agree on this!!!!

      The article states facts by saying “increasing attacks against religious minorities in Pakistan have seen an increase.
      ‘The Muslims forcibly take Sikh and Hindu girls, who are usually under-age and then claim to convert them, just to keep them,’ the activist adds.”

      I have Pakistani friends living in Pakistan speaking out about this issue regularly, it’s a very bad phenomenon and no Muslim/Pakistani I know would ever support it. Some of them are Muslim minorities (like Shais) who also get treated badly by the country for being Shia, Ahmadi etc.

      If you go to any village of India, you’ll find not forced conversion, perhaps, but other human rights violations like dowry harassment, acid throwing on girls’ faces, punishing/killing some people for witchcraft, underage marriage, infanticide etc.

      This proves that a village in Pakistan is not too different than a village in India – people who are uneducated will have the same archaic and very intolerant mindset, whether they are in India or in Pakistan or in a village in Africa or even America sometimes!

      My intention is not to look down upon anyone for being from a village, God forbig, but these guys cannot justify what they are doing, forcing underage girls to become their wives, and thinking they are actually going something good for Allah – this is an Islamic violation and also a human rights violation!

      Sona works in Dubai, met a Pakistani there…what’s the proof that he’ll be the same, like these villagers from Khyber Pakhtunkhwa? Not sure how familiar you are with Pakistan but that area is one of the most conservative in the country! That’s why the article shouldn’t surprise anyone..

      • mac
        April 28, 2017 11:48 pm

        //If you go to any village of India, you’ll find not forced conversion, perhaps, but other human rights violations like dowry harassment, acid throwing on girls’ faces, punishing/killing some people for witchcraft, underage marriage, infanticide etc.//

        Rabia, forced conversion is very much practiced in India. Muslim teen girls are abducted and forcefully converted to Hinduism by goons of Hindu Yuva Vahini in UP. In Bengal also, Hindu men pretending as Muslim marry poor Muslim girls.

        Hundreds of Indian Muslim girls being forced into converting to Hinduism
        https://tribune.com.pk/story/1298023/hundreds-indian-muslim-girls-forced-converting-hinduism/

        Hindu Men posing as Muslims marrying poor Bengal girls
        http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/kolkata/men-posing-as-muslims-marrying-poor-bengal-girls/article7390102.ece

        • mac
          April 28, 2017 11:53 pm
        • Rabia
          April 30, 2017 4:50 pm

          Mac, both the links you posted where girls are getting converted and fooled like that is unacceptable and I am surprised this doesn’t get reported in Indian media more often. I have only seen and read stuff about “love jihad” …

          If these conversions or cases of deception are a off-case, then we cannot call it an epidemic and exaggerate. But it’s still Sad; whether the girl being forcefully converted is Indian or Pakistani, it doesn’t change the fact that this is absolutely wrong and disgusting sick people doing such things.

          The new CM of UP mentioned in this article is a man to be evaluated carefully; he scares me to be honest. He has promised development for the state – for “all, not just one group”, as Modi says – but his mentality and past inflammatory speeches, where he encouraged to reduce the muslim population of UP by half – empower the bhakts and goondas who follow and support him.

          Reduce by half how? Kill them all, using riots, or convert them forcefully fooling them?Both are horrendous things, similar to what dictators have done, slaughtering people…

          All parties – and not just in india but even in this civilized European continent – use religion and identity for political purpose; they play religious identity politics with the masses but I will develop real respect for BJP only when they abandon communal/inflammatory language (Adityanath compared Shah Rukh Khan to Hafiz Saeed once, a terrorist mastermind!), and when they stop encouraging people to go on “morality hunts” and Ghar Wapsi hunts, and make it harder for people to do such things. Just like Trump supporters now feel empowered to be openly racist, BJP or Hindutva groups probably find it easier to convert, threaten etc.

          Just hope what you posted was a small and not common incident..

  • Singh
    April 28, 2017 12:46 pm

    Tenu sharam aouni chahidi apne maaa baaap bare soch

    • ss
      July 9, 2017 3:14 am

      bhaji eh kaun kuri aa, jehri eh kadam chukk rahee aa

  • April 19, 2017 6:10 pm

    Hi Sona,

    We change your name for your privacy. Do not disclose your real name on any public forum, not a smart move!

    Tell us what he told you:
    1) When you said ” i dnt want t convert”?
    2) Did he said that there is only ONE God and there are many similarities between Islam and Sikhism?

    Know that you are waling on fire. Don’t go along, we will walk with you. Get back and we will talk more.

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