Section 8.4: I Have Dated a Muslim Girl but Had to End It

Section 8.4: I Have Dated a Muslim Girl but Had to End It

David says:

I was in a similar situation (Aafroze) and it is a very difficult one so I’m sorry that you have to go through this. I have dated a Muslim girl for 3 years and we had to end it. We were in college together so while away from our families, it worked but once we both went back to our respective states, problems occurred.

Unfortunately religiously there is nothing you (Aafroze) can do unless you were able to introduce him to Islam and he was able to embrace it and converted by his own will. I respect Islam and I have read parts of the Koran but I’m from a Middle Eastern Christian family which means converting isn’t an option.

If he (Aafroze’s boyfriend) isn’t very religious and willing to accept Islam, that’s one of your options. Other than that you have the option of following your heart, which is a sin but doesn’t mean it won’t work.

When I was in relationship I didn’t keep pork in my house, I fasted with her. We celebrated Eid and at the same time she colored Easter eggs with me and decorated the Christmas tree so we embraced both religions.

If your family won’t disown you and you are willing to go against the rules of the majority opinion, you can find a happy medium but you would be living in sin according to majority opinion of imams. It is a very hard decision. My ex-girlfriend couldn’t go against her religion and family so it’s ultimately up to how far you are willing to go for love and how far you are willing to go for God. Good luck, Inshallah. It will work out for you. —David

Admin says: 

Hi David, 

Is this conversion business for marriage justified? When will Christians and Muslims change their old intolerant practices and learn to live a pluralistic life? Will not this world be a better place to live if people start respecting each other’s faith?

Was it not a beautiful feeling when “…we celebrated Eid and at the same time she colored Easter eggs with me and decorated the Christmas tree so we embraced both religions?” —Admin

David says: 

I completely agree with you. I wish that people were more forward thinking because the world would be a much better place. I probably could have had a very happy marriage and nobody had to change at all. A person’s faith has a part in creating the person you love so nobody should ever have to change who they are. Just living in unity with respecting one another and their faith should be enough. Unfortunately, in my experience its societal pressure which leads to the destruction of these kinds of relationships.

My family told me no matter what, they want me to be happy above all. They said if I want to be with her then be with her. But her family told her if she was a good Muslim, she would have never put herself in that situation and if she was a good Muslim I would have converted. Later, she had the family guilt and worried about what her society would think of her. This unfortunately happens too often. She had friends that had the same thing and the same outcome.

I have had this argument way too many times that an interfaith marriage is very feasible. It comes down to love and respect. It also comes down to letting go of what others think. But people’s opinions and people words are stronger than weapons and can completely ruin something so beautiful and pure.

I do like your (Admin’s) philosophy and train of thought. I hope others can come across this page and feel a comfort that what they feel isn’t wrong and can learn to live for themselves following their hearts. —David

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