Section 5.31: My Wife Calls Me Kafir… I Wish I Die

Section 5.31: My Wife Calls Me Kafir… I Wish I Die

Sometimes, interfaith marriage takes an ugly turn and life becomes hell. The next four sections cover such cases.

Shyam says:

I am in a relationship with a Muslim for almost 18 years. I am a Hindu and she is a Muslim. We have 3 children. Initially when we fell in love, there were no religious boundaries but only love. Her family disowned her until we had our first child. She has brought up the kids as Muslims. More and more she is moving into the world of Islam and more and more am I moving away from her. Recently she has started wearing a veil. This is hard for me to accept. I am respected by her family but always treated as an outcast due to my religion and language. I love her but she has chosen her religion over me. She calls me and my family kafirs. She does not believe in birthdays or Hindu weddings. I am hurt so much.

Almost half my life has been spent with her and the kids. I used to love her but it is now turning into hatred of the Muslim religion for turning her into what she is. Today my children told me that they are Muslims and don’t believe in Hinduism. What am I to do? I am a Hindu. I feel like I want to die. The pain is so great in my chest. I wish I had married a Hindu.

My life is a big lie. I lie to my parents about the kids being Hindus and not eating meat. I feel I am sinking and there is no one to pull me out. Every time the word Hindu is mentioned, I am called a kafir. Is this what I am at the age of forty? What have I done? I feel worthless and feel I should die before my mum and dad do. My sons or wife will not attend the funeral. I don’t know what to do. I feel so sad. —Shyam

Shyam added (a month later):

I feel really bad. My days and nights are so long. My partner views Islam higher than me. After all I am a Hindu and a kafir in her eye. I live to support her and my 3 kids. I wish I die. I cannot be happy with my immediate family or hers. What is there in life to live for? I suffer from asthma and each day I hope I will have a big attack and die. I ask myself am I a kafir? Was I so low? My mother says no. She tells me that I am a Brahmin.

I see my pain and urge all Muslims and Hindus to never get involved in a relationship as it only ends up in pain. May be not right away, but eventually.

I feel like taking my life but find it hard because of my children. Why is life so hard? All communication has broken down. What is there to look for in life apart from death? I can’t wait.

I would like to die before my mom and dad so they can cremate me. I can be free then. What a life of lies and misery, don’t put yourself through this.

Should I leave her? I feel I can’t due to the kids.

Should I die? This is easier.

Please help me. —Shyam