Section 5.1: Hindu-Muslim Marriages

Section 5.1: Hindu-Muslim Marriages

Interfaith marriage is one of the most fundamental sinful actions in Islam after shirk, rebellion against parental authority and killing a person without any legal reason. However, according to our research, 45% of Muslims marry outside their faith in America. It is a common practice for this “interfaith” marriage problem to be solved by conversion of the non-Muslim fiancé(e) to Islam.

The Koran states “You shall not marry Mushrik women (idolatresses or who ascribe God’s attributes to other than Allah) unless they embrace the Faith. A believing slave woman is better than a Mushrik woman although she may please you .”^,

Hinduism views marriage as a sacred union but Islamic nikaah (marriage) is a contract to obey Allah. A non-Muslim is expected to take shahadah oaths before the nikaah. Shahadah is the declaration that there is no god but Allah and Prophet Mohammad is the messenger of Allah. Associating partners (like Lord Shiva) with Allah, including worship of idols (murtis), offering prayers or supplications to anyone, living or dead, is the greatest of all sins. No imam will perform nikaah wedding without the shahadah religious conversion. A Hindu wedding is not a valid marriage as per Islamic laws. The union of a man and a woman without a valid nikaah is considered adultery punishable by stoning to death (Bukhari 6:60:79). In short, for a Hindu, conversion to Islam before nikaah is a must.

Shahadah is an oath required to be taken by a non-Muslim to irreversibly convert to Islam. Muslim Caliphates invited all Muslim civilians to be involved in defending the Islamic state from attack by non-Muslims. Religious conversion from Islam was therefore conceptualized as a vital criminal violation that might be punishable by death because a former Muslim would endanger the existence of all Muslims by allying with an enemy of Islam. (Mohammad said, “Whoever changes his Islamic religion, then kill him.” Bukhari 9:84:57).

According to anecdotal evidence and our experience dealing with many youths in love relationships, most Hindu-Muslim marriages are performed by nikaah only and in a few cases by civil secular wedding. Nikaah is performed after conversion of the Hindu fiancé(e) to Islam and in the presence of a very few relatives from the former Hindu spouse’s family. In a few cases, the Hindu marriage is also performed after the Islamic nikaah. However, after conversion, this Hindu marriage is a totally superfluous, because it is a Muslim-Muslim wedding performed by a Hindu priest in the presence of all Hindu Gods! Generally, Muslim relatives will not attend a Hindu ceremony because Gods other than Allah are being worshiped. At least as of now, there is no fusion of Hindu-Muslim marriage rituals.

A marriage is not just the union of two individuals but, believe it or not, a union of two families and two communities. Historically, Islam and Hinduism have been at odds for more than 1300 years in India. Much of this history records the Muslim invasions of India, repeated destruction of Hindu temples (e.g. Somanath in Gujarat), imposition of Jizya tax on Hindus and forced conversions to Islam. This history will inevitably have some impact on an interfaith couple’s life. Hindu-Muslim interfaith marriage with equality is only possible if both spouses and their extended families are willing to share two religious beliefs and follow each other’s practices without coercing each other.

Islam has very strict requirements for marriage. The requirements are stricter for a Dharmic (Sikh, Buddhist, Jain or Hindu) rather than for a Christian or Jew (People of the Book; Abrahamic). In most cases, a Dharmic in a relationship with a Muslim will learn some of these expectations just before the wedding. After years of being in a romantic relationship, reluctantly accepting the religious conversion may be the only way of averting a marital breakup.

If a proud Hindu wishes to avoid the religious conversion, choosing not to have the Islamic nikaah is the only option. However, issues will come up while raising children in two faiths. It is easy for young children to get confused with conflicting messages. For example, when they visit a Hindu or Jain temple, they are asked to believe in, respect and bow to several forms of God. But when they visit a mosque, they hear just the opposite messages. When confronted with such conflicting ideas, children may lose faith in God or religion. It is possible that later the Hindu spouse may be forbidden to practice his/her Dharmic religion so that the children will not be able to learn and follow it. Also, the Muslim spouse or his/her family may not like to be part of a Hindu religious activity while at Hindu parents’ home. When the honeymoon stage ends and is transformed into a routine married life, these issues will become sore points in the married life.

Hindus do not proselytize and there is no requirement for a non-Hindu to convert to Hindu Dharma before getting married. In most cases, the Muslim may try to convince the Hindu intended spouse to convert to Islam (by shahadah) just because that is a requirement in Islam. The Muslim does not have to reciprocate however because that is not a requirement in Hinduism. Actually, formal religious conversion to Hinduism can be done and the Muslims should be given that option to be fair and allow both spouses to demonstrate interfaith relationships with equality!

Interfaith relationships should be based on mutual respect for both faiths, and marriage should be solemnized without imposing religious conversion on a spouse. After marriage, both spouse’s faiths should get equal respect and consideration in home life and raising children. Eventually children will find their own solutions to the irreconcilable differences between the two religions.

(For additional information on Hindu-Muslim marriages, watch these videos prepared by InterfaithShaadi.)