Section 3.15: It Is a Love Marriage Where We Do Everything except Love
This story is a sad example of what can happen when you have “not done your homework” early in the love relationship phase. It is much easier to get out of an incompatible relationship before marriage, than it is after years, especially after children.
Sushma says:
I am an Arya Samaji Hindu female married to a Roman Catholic male. There was a lot of difference between our backgrounds but I adjusted. After my marriage I have lost myself forever.
I had a daughter and I got busy with her. He has possessive nature and I did not know how to handle our relationship. I got sucked into it. To him I was responsible for everything bad that happened to him. He is 9 years older to me.
Somewhere I have always gone wrong in this relationship. It is a love marriage where we do everything except love.
I am against divorce. I feel guilty that I went against everybody to marry so I cannot subject them (my parents) to my pain. I got thyroid after I had my daughter but he was not very understanding. In temper, he has pulled my hair when he knows I am having hair fall problem. My parents did not interfere. When we fight we want to kill each other.
The day my daughter leaves for college education I won’t know what to do with myself or him. I am no more an easy person to live with. In India it’s very difficult to walk out of a relationship suddenly.
Over the years I have been living with him because he says I am selfish. I don’t like anybody in his family, all they want me to change (to Christianity) including him. I had married him in a hurry. I am stuck for life, still I am doing all my duties as a wife.
My daughter is a Catholic. I and only I am responsible for this mess. My life is spoiled. He is forever judging me in everything. I wish I could just disappear into nowhere from this situation. I always thought, in this religion crazy world, my child would be like a symbol of world peace but I was wrong.
Either I am crazy or I am losing it. My coping skills are zero. I have no confidence left in me, even duffers around me are doing better than me in real world. I am a failure. —Sushma
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