nomy says: June 12, 2014 at 5:20 am
hi Everyone,
I am a liberal Hindu girl with an open mind about all religions and belief of equality. I was very close to a christian boy and slowly as we grew closer to each other he proposed to me one day and since i liked him i said alright i would get married to you only if our parents agree since i didn’t want to run away and shame our parents.
He agreed to it. everything seemed perfect in the beginning. I am an engineering graduate and he has only done a diploma. We faced a lot of opposition from my family since my parents did not consider him to be equivalent to us and they believed that marriage should be among equals.
But we both always hoped and believed that in the end our love will triumph. He said that he was even ready to get converted to Hindu even though i never wanted him to. We agreed to follow both religions without any conversion on either side. I had made it clear to him that since i hardly went to temples i would not like to visit church every Sunday like they did. He kept saying yes to everything.
First we discussed on having a registered marriage and then a reception. But later he said his mom would feel bad about the registered marriage so we should have a marriage in both faiths. Slowly and surely he kept saying about each and every ritual that has to be done according to his faith and each time pointing out that his mom said that or this and it has to be followed.
i was shocked by the sudden turn of events n realized that he was a momma’s boy. Meanwhile my parents weren’t even ready to entertain the idea of me and him being together.
One day my father told me that someone had called them and informed about me and my boyfriend meeting each other and all the details about when we would meet what we would do etc….
we both became very alert after that and i did not share any details with my friends and told him to do the same too. At least till my parent’s had agreed. He agreed but he kept telling every single detail to his mother since his mother was very supportive and said that she would do everything she could to get us married.
after 4 months of the first call my father received another call again telling him about every single detail about where we met etc. my father is a very mature person and he told me details which very few knew about. Even about his ex girlfriend. he said the person who had called told him that my boyfriend was after our money. i felt my father was only trying to brainwash me. But later i checked the call logs of my father’s phone and to my horror it was my boyfriend’s mother’s phone number. when i confronted my dad about it, he agreed that it was her who had called my father and requested him to ensure that i stop meeting her son.
i was disgusted with this incident. The very next day she called me and said that if i was ready to run away from home i should run away and she would get me and her son married. I hate such two faced people. She had tried to break us up and when that hadn’t worked she called my father and cried to him. My father even requested me to not tell my boyfriend, since his mother and he were very close and it would break his heart to learn about such behavior.
I decided to stop seeing my boyfriend after that. I believe more than the faith, the person and their family should be sincere and honest. I have now realized my mistake and learnt a big lesson.
After our breakup my boyfriend who never even went to church earlier started going to church every Sunday and praying everyday and even fasted for reasons like “Getting a good president for India” or “Cure homosexual people” as according to the church they are sinners.
I am so glad to be away from such people who are being brain washed in the name of faith. So everyone it is my request to you that please ensure that you know the person and his upbringing before getting married, because marriage is not only among two people but two families. One’s upbringing has a lot of influence on their behavior. Please don’t assume everything will be as you have imagined. Sometimes we need to removed our love tinted glasses and see things as they really are.
For people who are able to find good spouses even in inter faith marriage good luck, i am happy for you. Please ensure that you do not let religion become bigger than your loves ones. -Nomy
More information: Interfaith marriage with equality, Hindu-Christian Marriage, Bible on Hindus? Christian-Hindu relationships, Marriage & Divorce laws.
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Brahmin: We decided to do our engagement in Church
Hi All,
I am 26F born and bought up in a Brahmin family. My father was expired when I was 10.From that onwards my mother took care of me and my younger brother. Now my brother is priest. I loved a Christian guy for 6years.He used to take lot of care for me and my family. He always help for us.but the problem is that to marry him I need to convert because his parents strongly belives jesus so his father put this condition.or else there is no problem with me and they clearly says that the children should be Christians.I don’t like this conversion and till now he didn’t settle. I am working as software engineer in MNC.I have a fear for my future because I saw my mother’s life. She got married to my father who is Brahmin also but they struggled alto in life. So I do want to struggle in my future.Besides that my mother is encouraging me to get marry with my chiristian bf even with his conditions. She says that you should adjust and lead happy life but he always do what he and his parents wants in religious and important matters. But he truly loves me a lot.He wont leave me even single second. what should I do? I am not able to take decision.I have so much pressure on me. Please advise me.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=10654
I am a christian and i am married to a hindu without conversion….but i changed my name along with his surname in gazette…..is there any problem as i donot want to convert…..
Why you changed your surname? then where is the equality in marriage???
There is no concept of conversion in Hinduism (unlike Abrahamic faiths). Just because your name is in some document, that does not make you a Hindu. Further, there is no apostasy concept in Hinduism and thus you could be what ever you wish to or change back to Christianity any time if you converted. Let us know what other details you could like to get.
Dear Admin,
The most important reason that there is no rule to covert in Hindusim is offcourse “GOTRA”. We have a definite Gota-Lineage, when anybody breaks this lineage and accepts other religions, he is alienated from this lineage. Whereas if someone from other religion wants to convert to Hindusim the Preist will ask him/her Gotra, so in absence of Gotra he might be asked to take Narayn’s Gotra..
Hi I am a Hindu girl by birth. Born and brought up in religious hindu family with kinda modern type of family. Last year got married with Born Again Christian guy. My Question is do i need to convert in the name of mom in law? was that such christian taught. I didn’t know much about Christianity but i do believe jesus. He is a supreme almighty god. I never disgrace or discriminate any religion and never say that my religion is a true religion but my mom in law does that. Am in a confusing situation coz i don’t believe in converting. I don’t have any problem with my husband. Please do suggest me. Thank you
Reply to this post at: https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=9320
I am a hindu girl and love a muslim man more than anything else in my life. In the beginning of our relationship he was in love with me but he was not ready for commitment. His mother wanted him to marry girl of her choice but he opposed. He never forced me to convert. We were dating happily to each other. Initially, he too believed that woman should not work as his mother says, woman should be at home. But after spending some time together he says you can work even after we get married i have no problem in that. His family has started punishing him mentally for example, they do not ask him for any family meetings etc. He feels as if he is an outcast at his own house. A loving mother stopped talking to him for days and months. Few days ago, suddenly his family is pressurizing him to marry the girl of his mother’s choice. He did refuse to that but now suddenly we are into a discussion of changing the religion. From the beginning i never wanted him to change his religion. I always expected the same for him. We did discuss that we shall go for Special Marriage Act, 1954 so that none of us have to convert the religion. I never stopped him from eating beef. I was very clear from the beginning that i do not want him to change because i loved him the way he was. But now he is more a muslim man than my lover. He wants me to convert to islam otherwise marriage is not valid. It seems as if love does not exists. I am post graduate by education and belong to one of the classy families in town. I never wanted him to come out of his family to be with me i wanted him to accept me the way i am. I was not aware of the conversion rules. For his family i was ready to convert only for the wedding and than i should be allowed to practice my religion. But now he wants me to believe in islam and worship allah. I do not disrespect any name of god..be it allah, shiva or jesus. He is ready to wait until i convert to islam by my wish but i do not want to convert. In this, he says or marriage is not possible is i do not convert. Legally it is possible but it seems he do not want to talk about it. I would never be able to love anybody else in my life except him but i find it illogical to convert to another religion when i do not know about that religion. Superstitions are related with all religions but why to go for the darker side. I never opposed him when he said he want his children to be muslim by religion and he never refused when i wanted to keep non arabic names of our children.. debasif and asifsmita. Now suddenly, he does not like my religion. He will not marry me if i do not convert. I am wondering is it because of family pressure or not. Should i give him time to think or let him go to live his life the way he wants. I do not want to fake the conversion. Please help me with some valuable suggestions. Thank you.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=9137
Check this video for your
solution
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foLbqR6fBf8
Im a muslim girl an 2 n a half yrs back I got into relationship wid a hindu guy. I fall in deeply in love wid him. We lovd each other crazy. Evrything was goin great in da 1st 6months. Bt after dat it startd to get ruined. Fights, understanding proble n mstly religion came into our way. He told me convert to hindu which I cudnt. I even visited mandir n tried to follow rituals bt cud continue for lng. N thn we broke up as thoughts like going like against Islam n Quran came into my mind n stopped me frm carrying da relationship any further. I was collapsed of losin him n eventually goT OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER n taking medicine for lst 2years. The problem is still luv him n cnt move on. Stuck in da middle of nowhr. Im nt in touch wid him, din see him in lst 2na half yrs. Hardly talkd wid him. He startd moving on I guess. I jus find a way 4 myself. Pls help. 🙁
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=8107
i will guide you to peace but tell me where you from
ALLAH BLESS YOU AND ALL(keep that in mind)
Dear Nomy ,
Congrats , u have taken a right decision.
Dora.
Thank u Dora… i am glad i took the right decision , but i sad that i ended up hurting my parents for a guy who was not worth it
Nomy,
Congratulations for saving your life. Now can you be in touch with Dora at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=8098, thanks.
MadharXXX,Mac
You are son of a XXXXX.
Why dont you read the books of Wafa Sulatan and Taslima Nasreen
Hell on you BasXXX Mac
Admin: Human, please refrain from dirty words (deleted here), instead argue rationally.
by name ur using “Human” and typically behaving like animals
All that christians and muslims wants is to take you closer to the almighty creator, but you people(todays known as hindus) guided by satan don`t realise it
Nomy,
Thank you for speaking out. We are sorry to hear what you had to go through, however you experience here will certainly help other girls.
You should know that these Abrahamic faiths are exclusivist and intolerant to others (read Bible, Koran and Torah). These Abrahamics will start by saying we will share our faiths, however, in the end they will not rest till the Hindu convert (read Akansha). For them, religion is always bigger than their love. In most cases, their objective of love is to lure Hindus to their fold, that’s all. The “open minded” Hindus get trapped. You are smart not to run away.
Now show this post to your boy friend and common friend and make him look bad. Post it on your Facebook! Publish it all over to educate innocent other girls. Best wishes for your new life.