When Parents Will Learn to Respect their Children?

Ano says: June 15, 2015 at 4:20 am

Hi All,

Was reading all your posts and comments and so, wanted to share my personal experience and seek for your advice and suggestions on the below matter.

So, here it goes…

I just joined this company (the company I am currently working in) one year ago, I met him there , It was love at first sight (did not know what his name was, his religion was out of question as all I wanted was “him”)

Few Days later my colleague introduced him to me … Then I came to know that my dream man, the person I always kept an eye on in the office hours was a muslim boy.

I was a racist (feeling bad for what I was), so I knew that this is nothing but infatuation. I started maintaining distance. Since he was a part of my office group, so we used to have lunch together and gradually without my knowing it, we became best of friends (now the racist in me was dying and love was taking the space).

We unknowingly, were in a relationship . We decided that we will convince everyone at my place and his place and things will be normal then. The Hindu Muslim bawaal was small for us (maybe because we were in love ). I kept aside everything (my parents reaction, the compromises that we both will be making for each other etc) . The bond between us became strong with the passage of time. More than a couple we were best of friends.

My parents are super religious and so are his, My mother did not knew about our relationship although she was aware of our friendship, but she never met him in person.

I am 25 years old and as per my family I should get married before 26, so they started searching for a suitable groom for me. I took all this lightly , but to my shock they had found one and things were more than I had imagined, The boy’s family agreed to the roka (a ceremony before marriage), when I came to know this, I panicked and started crying. My family asked me if I was hiding something, or If I were in a relationship with someone or If I liked someone (they had no issues with it ). They wanted to meet the boy. I told my brother and my mother about my 6 months old relationship with this sweet Muslim guy in my office.

*Sigh- I knew they will not agree and making them understand would be difficult (I was prepared) things happened so quickly that I had to take a step and told them everything, their reaction shocked me (althogh I was aware of it), my mother started crying, cursing the values that she had given me, my brother started arguing with me, they started telling me the reactions of our so called relatives and society when they will hear the news, the reaction of the pados wali aunty – deko kaisi ladki hai, maa baap ki parwah nahi, mulli ban gai ladke ke liye , ku jane dia ise office, hawan karwao ghar mai kuch gadbad hai. He will convert you not now but years later, what about the children which religion will they follow, the same continued for atleast 2 days and at the end I had to loose my argument to them.
(because my mother said -(hum tujse saare rishte tod dengay, mar jayegi tu humare liye, muh kala karwayegi). The boy was unaware of all of this.

Our 6 months relationship came to an end in just 2 days. The boy started cursing me that I panicked and due to which it all ended. As it was all so early, we did not even decide what we will do, how we will break the news in front of our respective families, he was not professionally settled, jhe needs time, I should have kept my cool and should have told them about it, a year later when he will become something and could stand on his own feet (he is currently earning 30K pm) which is not sufficient for us – as per my parents. till then I should have denied for marriage and should have rejected the marriage proposals that were coming my way.

Now, we have officially broken up, but still we chat, we cry, I curse myself for not handling the situation well. for not standing by him as promised, for not giving time to us, and specially to him. I am GUILTY every second that i pass.

I need your suggestions as to what should we do ?? We love each other. He said he will never convert me, we will marry according to the special marriage act. Both religions will be equally respected, Children will be given both moral values and sanskar of both the religion, no burkha. May be all of the above are fake promises or may be true , I don’t know what god has written for both of us, All I know is we want everyone to be happy including both of us.

Please suggest…

Waiting for your valuable feedback and suggestions.

Q1. Should we continue talking to each other?
Q2. should we secretly again date each other, will face the consequences together?
Q3. Should we give up?

I don’t want to get married to anyone except him, I was a religious person, now i don’t believe in God. I hate my family for doing this to me, for not understanding me. for not giving me a chance to prove that love is above religion.

This pain within me is killing me day by day. I don’t want anyone.

It is all because of me , muje ghar pe itni jaldi nahi btana chahiye tha,…
Take care -Ano

Also read: VIDEO: Interfaith Marriage with Equality, Hindu-Muslim Marriage-video, Love-Jihad, Don’t fake-convert, Polygamy and talaak, Akansha unwillingly converted to Nusrat, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Idols, pluralism, SRK-can you do it?, Zakir Naik, Christian-Hindu marriages, Jain-Muslim marriages, Brahmin-Muslim marriages, Bollywood and Interfaith Marriages. >Chritistian-Muslim Marriage, Love with Malay, Sharia, Koran, Bible, Marriage & Divorce laws in Malaysia.