Gurpreet says: September 28, 2017
Hi,
I just looked at some comments and have a similar but serious situation. I am soon to turn 17 and my boyfriend is 17. we were forced to break up by our parents just a few days ago and its something we both don’t want because we are in love with eachother. me and him if we were to get back together, our families wouldn’t support and his wouldn’t either. do you guys think its worth taking the risk in marrying but losing our families? -Gurpreet
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Dear Gurpreet
17 haan? Such a tender age. I admire that you love someone but focus on your career.
You are so lucky so please first be financially independatn. Dont do anything which makes you feel oh damn why didnt I study?
Look if he is the most gentle and calm and the best listener you have met in your life please run!You can marry whomever you want be it Christian, Hindu, Jew,parsi,atgeist but with a Muslim man you have to be very careful because all he is looking for is breeding Muslim kids from non Muslim womb . He will ask you to convert by saying it is must for nikaah and you will convert just for the sake of marriage but that won’t end there you will have to raise your kids as strict Muslims and you will have no freedom to practice your faith and later when you are done popping his children he will remarry. So dear read about Islam before ruining your life forever. You can find your love 10 times but not your life and its joy. Ask him to convert to Sikhism to become a sardar and he would deny. Remember run! Not a Muslim.
hello gurpreet, you mentioned you both are just 17, its such early age to think about marriage, also even if you want to marry you both have to wait till your boyfriend turns 21. having both families on oppose is not a very good sign, please try to convince one of the family because you will need their support in some situations.
finance is one the most important aspect of life, make sure both of you have source of finance because just love is not sufficient to live.
Dear Gurpreet,
I think there are a few issues to think about before you make a serious decision like this.
A) you two are only 17 years old. This is a very young age to be making a decision about whom to be with in the long run, and definitely a very young age for marriage (not sure if that’s what you are considering with your partner)
Wait for a few more years and if you still think this person is the right man for you, then you can make a decision like marriage.
B) your parents do not have the right to make a decision for you when it comes to matters I re love, but at the same time I think it’s a bad idea in most cases to cut off all relations with one’s parents. They have given you life and have raised you with love to this day; so I personally would never leave my parents for any guy.
My husband comes from a Hindu family and I am Muslim; we experienced these difficulties that all couples on this forum are going through. My father in law (especially) never wanted a foreigner – and that too a Muslim – in his house and gen made that clear to my husband from the first day he found out about our relationship. If he had co tinier this attitude, he would have definitely lost his son forever – because my husband is not one to be bossed around and he doesn’t tolerate any interference in his life, especially love life.
When I asked him what he would have done if his father didn’t agree to our marriage in the end, he said “I would have done what I thought was right”, and when I asked him to elaborate he said he would have married me despite their opposition.
Can you imagine if I did something like this, how much I would hate me in laws? I wouldn’t have allowed them to see my children if things had gotten this bad between us.
Luckily we didn’t have this kind of problem because my mother in law met me multiple times, she also liked me as a person and I think it was probably her who convinced him to allow this to happen, knowing fully well my husbands character.
Just be careful before you enter into a interfaith marriage or relationship. You are quite young so I advise you to wait a few years before making any big decision.
That’s cute I’m happy for you that you were able to have an interfaith marriage x
Hi Gurpreet,
Now your are an adult and adulthood comes with responsibilities. You will be responsible for your decisions in life, no one else. Let us help you make a decision that is right for you.
Tell us how would you conduct your married life if your two sets of parents against you? Where will you stay? How will you raise family and support your children? Do you have jobs and money? Unfortunately, life does not run on love, it take more things.
It is okay to loose your parents if they did not fulfill their responsibilities and did not treated your well during your childhood. Why should you respect them if they did not performed their parental duties? However, if they were reasonable parents, it is a good idea not to kick them out of your life. In case of divorce, you will need them again, no one (meaning NO one) will help you except parents.
You are only 17. Why don’t you continue being in love in your hearts and be prepared worth the love. Get good education and good jobs. It will take a few more years but if your love is true, it should not matter. Once you both have good paying jobs, we would say that is the time to go do exactly that what you wish. Bottomline, give your love to mature a few more years.
What two religions we are talking about? Are you Sikh? How about him?