Sunil says: December 11, 2012 at 12:40 pm
helo..Husna
my self sunil sharma from mumbai..i worked with telvesion/film industries as a Associate Director.. Currently i m doing CRIME PATROL SHOW for Sony chennel. I read ur blog..u r so confident girl who take her decision from own way..& i like ur respect abt ur father to inform him abt ur relation with Ashok..Ur so lucky girl you got everything as u want..
Here is same situation..But unfortuatnelly my muslim GF her name is ZEBA is so scared from her family to inform abt me..She Love me So much But her scared is big problem between us..plzz suggest me what do i do..plzz help me i love her..
if any bdy has any solution plzz share with me on my email id..aakabh@gmail.com or contact me on my number..9022982576
thax.. -Sunil
Admin says:
Sunil,
For you, knowledge and patience are two solutions.
First educate yourself about Hindu-Muslim interfaith marriages, Koran, experiences of others, Islamic women Today, Hindu Boy, Muslim girl, and more on this web site. After that involve your girl in educating her about all these topics. It will take up to a year to understand complexities of interfaith marriages and issues, but later you both will be really ready to make fully “informed” decision for your lives. The reason your gf is scared today is because she is unsure what she is up to and does not have enough knowledge about today’s world. Knowledge will bring courage in her.
Second, do not rush into any irrational decision today, Rome was not built in a day! Do not plan to marry for next two years and even if you get married, do not plan to have a child for at least two years into your married life. Unfortunately we must say that divorce is a better option than to getting stuck into an unhappy marriage with a child.
One more point, as it is said all over this web site, please no “fake” conversion to Islam just to please your Muslim-in-laws. If you like Islam, first be a true Muslim for at least two years before conversion (read Arvind: I’ve decided to take up Islam). We have many great consultants and they will get back with more guidance to you soon, including Arvind.
Keep us posted for your progress in life. Best wishes. -Admin.
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Husna says: December 12, 2012 at 7:35 am
Hello,
Admn. has rightly undestood your problem and explained solution.
You have to take your muslim GF into confidence and gradually will become bold and tactful.Where there is a will, there is way.
Best wishes and good luck. -Husna.
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Admin added:
Sunil,
You have brought up a MAJOR issue that “she is VERY religious“. If so you will not be able to “i dont know how do explain her that human are most important rather then Religion”. Sorry, look for another girl.
Even you may be temporarily be able to convince her to marry you out of high sex hormones running in her blood stream, but the deep rooted religion will come haunting you later in your life. Get ready to live the life of DEE.
Have you read KORAN ON HINDUS? Ask her for explanations of each of these verses and how it applies to your life.
If one is fearful of society or parents, you could talk one out by rational discussion. But if she is..
fearful of ONE God Allah,
fearful of going against Islam,
fearful of going against what Mohammad may want her to do,
fearful of her AFTER life,
fearful of the Judgment Day,
fearful of marrying to a kafir, you have a big problem later in life.
To test run, ask her to come to a Hindu temple and perform pooja like SRK does (and to reciprocate, the same day you go to a Mosque and pray -in the direction of- Saudi Arabia), and you will have all answers you are looking for. Let us know what is her response.
Sunil, don’t misunderstand for what we are saying. She has all rights to believe in what she wants to. We should respect her feelings and faith. If she believes that Hindus are kafirs, Lord Krishna is a fake-god, Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa will get Hell Fire on the Judgement Day, etc, etc, you should not be surprised. That is what a true Muslim supposed to believe. It is only you who have to decide what do you want. You cannot change others but you could make “informed” decision for yourself. Best wishes. -Admin.
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Dr. Zeba says: December 14, 2012 at 7:28 am
Hi Admin and Satyen,
Sunil has rightly pointed out my fear. I cannot live without Sunil. HE IS EVERY THING FOR ME.
Please guide and boost my morale to handle such a typical situation of my life.
Shall be ever grateful. -Zeba
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Also read: Islamic Women Today, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu girl, Muslim girl, Hindu boy, Muslim boy,
Be a friend on Facebook. Return to InterfaithShaadi.org. To share your experience, read.
My parents wants me to marry my own cousin
There are two ways you can go here.
Convert to Islam or she leaves Islam and goes with you.
If you choose option one you best read up on Islam and read the Qur’an before making any decisions on joining this faith.
Option two would be problematic as she would of course be shunned by her family and depending whether or not they are moderate Muslims or radical Muslims they may do more than shun her , they may become violent toward her.
Some people control their children through faiths or other means were it should be up to the child when he/she is of age to decide what they want in life but this is not the reality of most situations , particularly when religion is involved.
My advice would be to walk away from this relationship and seek someone more suited to you who is not controlled by a religion or manipulative parents who want to force they ideology on their children instead of allowing them to live their lives with their own free wills.
All the stories in this wapsites are fake under muslim names and antiislamic.if one wants to know true knowledge of islam vist http://www.usislam.org
Hi Sunil/Zeba,
Could you get time to meet and discusss for better understanding to facilitate everlasting relations as soul mate?
God bless you both
Hello Sunil,
Chand is right to point out. Let us meet and discuss on any convenient date and time. Only we can attempt to resolve the issues for the sake of happy and cheerful life.
ok zeba..let us meet.and talk..
Forget about love and forget about trying to be nice to each other. Talk like two corporate executives talking about a big business deal. It may take six months to iron out all issues. In the end, you will be able to make a right decision, be that joining with each other or separation for ever. Best wishes.
Hi Dr. Zeba,
You need not to get scared of your parents. You are highly educated and intellectuals too. I doubt, if you marry in a muslim community with an incompatible person, your life will be hell. You will not be allowed to run your profession indepentenly and gracefully. Several restrictions shall be imposed on you and your muslim husband resorting to domestic violence and self enjoying with other girls in the name of Islam. Better, if Sunil is competent, as associate director, loving, respectful, humanitarian touch, no problem to marry him, but first ascertain his personality and qualities as a soulmate.
For the evils prevalent in islamic religion go through Islamic women today, in this blog separately, then you will learn a lot about cruelty and barbaric behaviours against muslim women.
Sunil why dont you meet her again and discussed various issues relating to interfaith marriages and come to a conclusion.
God bless
Chand, use https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=2002 as your web URL while blogging
Yes Sunil,
I wish to get more indepth insight into interfaith marriages through this blog. You know my weak points, let the things get crystalized.
Good day.
Hello Zeba,
We all are human beings and have heart and can understand your dilema to some extent. Here are my suggestions to you.
First, you need to remain calm as Sunil is still with you and you both love each other. So, why cry assuming a gloomy future when it has a potentiality to be a bright one? Only a calm and stable mind can think intelligently. So, again you must be free of guilt or fear to plan for a bright future.
Second, don’t fear from anything except from what you consider bad. Why tremble with fear if you have commited no sin. So be bave but don’t be hesitant. Time is your investment for your happy and dream marital future.
Once, you have fulfilled the above two conditions, start thinking with a positive mind. You have the capacity to arrive at the right decision. Have objective attitude and start thinking. Some time ago, had written about how to find out a correct solution in such situations. For an intellectual, I am copy pasting the same below:
As you have some time to brainstorm for a benign solution, why not cool down and figure out what’s good for you. Though the problem looks a horrific one, it can be simplified if you follow the correct process of problem solving. Ask any MBA pass out and he/she will tell you that there are just a few issues at the root of a big problem! It’s called ’15% Rule’ in the Business lingo. To arrive at any correct decision, you need to have a right mindset. It means you must be willing to accept a rational solution (once you have got it) and will not be carried out with your emotions. First decide on your values. It simply means what is important for you in your future life. List the points and arrange them in order of priority. For example, reasonable income, caring husband, not intrusive in-laws, well cultured children … and so forth. Care should be taken to plan everything from marriage to demise. It should be as exhaustive as possible. Moreover, define every key element of it. For example, caring husband may mean different for different woman.
Similarly, enlist the values for your would be spouse. Again, make it as exhaustive as possible. Also see the issues that may affect your future relationsship with your spouse. Especially in your case as it involves very different values. It doesn’t matter where someone is studying or living. Values are not easily visible but they dictate our behaviour. The values can be suppressed consciously for some time but they will manifest themselves in the long run.
Now analyse your present relationship taking every critaria set above. Here, be careful not to assume anything (don’t take anything at its face value). If you feel, this is the best match, you have completed the vitally important part of your solution.
Next will have to find a way to achieve the goal i.e. how to marry with the guy. Again, enlist what are the root causes creating the obstacle in your path. Say, you have figured out it as religion. Again, figure out why this religion is not acceptable to your parents/kinsmen. Be objective and list out the reasons after gathering informations about Islam from objective sources. Once you have done it, you will find a way out of the problem.
You can do your own research and this site can help you by providing you with holistic information relevant to your case. Don’t think your case is a unique one. Does your BF think that way? Ask him to do the same exercise separately and thendiscuss together.
Las thing is, first you should e convinced what you would like to have. Are you willing to accept the realities of interfaith marriage with a Hindu? Would you like to see your male children without circumcision until they attain the age of adulthood? Can you give your children an Indian/Hindu name? Can you see your husband worshipping various gods in your room? Similarly, your husand should cope with similar issues. Once you feel you are really happy with these terms/conditions, you may move further and find a family member or a relative closest and helpful to you who can influence your father. Similarly, you can gather other members/relatives or family friends and move foreward.
Let us know how you progress. The God May bless you in your mission of getting your true love.
Hi Admin and Satyen,
Sunil has rightly pointed out my fear. I cannot live without Sunil. HE IS EVERY THING FOR ME.
Please guide and boost my morale to handle such a typical situation of my life.
Shall be ever grateful.
zebu..r u on this website..??? realy
Sunil, Zeba wants to find out facts first hands. She is going to make a decision (what ever that is) that she will be proud of even when she is 95 years old. She is not going to make any decision under the influence of love or under undue pressure from her community.
Dr. Zeba,
You are an intellectual. Do that other will be proud of your acts. Be a role model for other youths.
Do that we told to Sunil, that is “For you, knowledge and patience are two solutions.” Gain as much knowledge about Islam, Hinduism, religion in general, etc. In the end, make a rational decision.
One cannot make a rational decision when you are in love. The love removes the discriminative power or does not let you think critically. Unfortunately (or fortunately) you are already in love. To get around this issue, we recommend you go and guide other youths in love (where you could think critically for them). While doing so, you will also gain knowledge what is right for you and what is wrong.
So take a year to learn and educate yourself. You yourself will guide yourself. We hope to see you come back here and guide others (for your own advantage). Best wishes.
u r not my zebu..if u r my zebu dn tel me ur ful name..
Can you check with your Zeba and let us know ASAP? Thanks.
Sunil,
As per the available information, your case is straightforward. The admin has said you what needed to be told. Apart from that I would like to add that the key point to be noted is “She is religious“. So why do you want to abduct her from her peaceful life? Do you think you will lead a better life with her? It is less likely to be that way. She will have always a conflict with you for two reasons. One, she will hold you responsible for alienating her from her parents/family. Second, she will always consider you a kafir (a non-Muslim). Again, the birth of your babies will open a pandoras box. I don’t see any good for you according to the informations provided.
And finally, don’t be blind to convert to Islam without going through all the comments at this site. It will be worse than abducting her. Irrespective of her future plans, you should educate yourself about Islam as you seem not to have the basics of Islam. Just read all the comments at this site and you will have some good idea of what Islam is and that will help you even in future.
Just to add to the above post. A well educated person doesn’t necessarily mean he is a good human being. Today’s education system usually preapres you for some job by making you a skilled person. The hallmark of education system impartin is skill sets to the students. There is hardly anything in the curricula in India that will make you love all the human being. On the contrary, it teaches you to treat every religion equal irrespective of how it impacts humanity. Even, harmful/hateful and superstitious teachings are supposed to be held with respect! Hypocrisy in the name of secularism has made us a bunch of irrational people.
So, what’s the way out? Say spade a spade and differentiate wrong from right without any fear. Finally spread the rational thinking without the shade of secularism and fear of others’ criticism with open mind. At the same time be willing to accept the constructive criticism. It may take a some time but this educating others and being educated by them, will definitely dawn into a heavenly world.
For now, let’s do it and wait for the new era of humane world “Where there is no fear and head is held high….
If we look around we find that no low is too low for Dhimmi leaders (Non-Muslims who are desperate to conceal Islamic Supremacism) in appeasing Muslims. They will go to any extent.
The latest report on Obama’s administration’s manual to its soldiers mentions: “It orders that US soldiers should avoid, including “making derogatory comments about the Taliban,” “advocating women’s rights,” “any criticism of pedophilia,” “directing any criticism towards Afghans,” “mentioning homosexuality and homosexual conduct” or “anything related to Islam.””
http://www.judicialwatch.org/2012/12/new-army-manual-orders-soldiers-not-to-criticize-taliban/#respond
I can only wonder for what values American soldiers are risking their lives in Afghanistan !
Once in a British convention, the speaker asked the audience to raise their hands if they feel they are morally superior to Taliban. Only very few did. It will be no different in India as it can be seen from media’s reluctance to criticize those Hindu leaders who referred to Osama bin Laden as ‘Osamaji’.
All this tells in what kind of times we are living. In fact, politically correct media not only demonizes people who tell the truth about Islam and criticize it, but also condemns those who do not tow the line that Islamic history in India is glorious and Muslims are always victims.
That is precisely I say world is insane and most people are stupid.
That is precisely why I am so unapologetic in my views.
At times you get so eloquent and elegant!
“Hypocrisy in the name of secularism has made us a bunch of irrational people. So, what’s the way out? Say spade a spade and differentiate wrong from right without any fear. Finally spread the rational thinking without the shade of secularism and fear of others’ criticism with open mind.”
For long I wanted to write this. What I could have written could never have been better than your immaculate expression of the need of the hour.
Absolutely agree.
Satyen should write a book. We are glad he has committed here to help define IM-WE (Interfaith Marriages With Equality).
Thank you both for the complements. But the key word is ‘at times’ which I fully agree. I am still learning everyday from many knowledgeable people including you duo. However, I want to pay back to the humanity whatever little I could gather in my tiny utensil.
“…the key word is ‘ at times ‘..”……Huhhhhhhh
I commented above in a light vein that the key word (should have been phrase) is …..
Satyen,
I meant to point out your capacity for picking up that ‘one word’ or ‘that one’ sentence which really matters…..which is very important.
I never meant to correct the mistake of it being a word or a phrase. In fact I myself noticed it after you have pointed out. Of course, we both have different views but this is never about it.
thnx admin , husna & srinivas for ur repons..But i have inform u of u all peaple she has already Good education. now she is doing a dentist course..but she feel very scared from her family..
she knows everything..she is vary religious..some time she feels when she will getting marry then me she will loose her family..i dont know how do explain her that human are most important rather then Religion..
Sunil,
You have brought up a MAJOR issue that “she is VERY religious“. If so you will not be able to “i dont know how do explain her that human are most important rather then Religion”. Sorry, look for another girl.
Even you may be temporarily be able to convince her to marry you out of high sex hormones running in her blood stream, but the deep rooted religion will come haunting you later in your life. Get ready to live the life of DEE.
Have you read KORAN ON HINDUS? Ask her for explanations of each of these verses and how it applies to your life.
If one is fearful of society or parents, you could talk one out by rational discussion. But if she is..
fearful of ONE God Allah,
fearful of going against Islam,
fearful of going against what Mohammad may want her to do,
fearful of her AFTER life,
fearful of the Judgment Day,
fearful of marrying to a kafir, you have a big problem later in life.
To test run, ask her to come to a Hindu temple and perform pooja like SRK does (and to reciprocate, the same day you go to a Mosque and pray -in the direction of- Saudi Arabia), and you will have all answers you are looking for. Let us know what is her response.
Sunil, don’t misunderstand for what we are saying. She has all rights to believe in what she wants to. We should respect her feelings and faith. If she believes that Hindus are kafirs, Lord Krishna is a fake-god, Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa will get Hell Fire on the Judgement Day, etc, etc, you should not be surprised. That is what a true Muslim supposed to believe. It is only you who have to decide what do you want. You cannot change others but you could make “informed” decision for yourself. Best wishes.
Another f**l whose eyes are blinded !
Considering I have nothing but contempt for Bollywood and Indian television and media, and equally, I am little surprised why this f**l has not asked himself why is she so scared ?
Islam prohibits Muslim women from marrying Non-Muslim men but allows Muslim men to marry Non-Muslim women. It advocates killing of those Non-Muslim men who try to develop relations with Muslim women, OR it gives permission to Muslims parents to kill their daughter, and it says that those parents who kill such children are not to be punished.
This is why she is very scared.
Considering that Muslim mafia Bollywood is responsible for some Hindu girls becoming victims of Muslims with its trash like ‘My name is Khan’ and ‘Jodha Akbar’, and self projection of it being an example of Indian secularism and multiculturalism, this must be a good lesson to this dude on reality of Islam being inherently fascist.
I really love to see what this guy says. Frankly, I have no sympathy for this man, as I have no sympathy for journos working in media.
Now, call me as Hindu communal ?
Hello,
Admn. has rightly undestood your problem and explained solution.
You have to take your muslim GF into confidence and gradually will become bold and tactful.Where there is a will, there is way.
Best wishes and good luck.