JAIN says: January 12, 2021
I really don’t know how to say but I have experienced the same . When I was 18 and my mom was 39 (she was married early), Mom was a widow 3 yrs old, a muslim friend of mine used to come my home often. He was 20 yrs age. One day I returned home early nd had the shock of my life. I heard their laughter and talk from the room. I saw my mom and him in a very close situation in bed. That shocked me most . Behind me he had made sexual relation with my mom. Later when I told him why he betrayed me like this he told me that he always lusted for my mom and now she was his. I was really shocked to hear this. Later I also talked to mom about this but mom seemed too possessed by his charm and physical relation. And then my mom and he started an open relationship. He even told me he was willing to marry my mom. I tried to make my mom understand but it did not help. Two months later they married and I moved to my uncle’s house and since then I kept no relation with my mom. -Jain
SUDHANSU says: May 30, 2021
Hi Jain
1. Sorry I read this a few months late. I have not been very active on this site lately. I have some thoughts on your situation.
Why have you broken up contact with your mom? Irrespective of whom she has married she is still your mother and might need your help. Please dont break off contact with her
2. Nowadays its very normal for hindu women to marry muslim men. Please look at some real life examples the admin has provided. You will find other cases where hindu women have married much younger or much older muslim men. I have personal experience in this case where my mother married a much older muslim man. In most cases the marriage is very successful and the woman (after some compromises is normally very happy)
3. In your case since your moms new husband is much younger I am assuming she got attracted to him due to his physical charm and his ability to keep her sexually happy. I see all these as positive changes to your moms life. Your mom is still young and she is enjoying herself now. You should be happy that your mom is now leading a sexually fulfilling life
4. You mentioned she has given birth to 2 kids already. This is not suprising that normally muslims prefer larger families. Given that her husband is pretty young I am sure he will want to have a few more children over the next few years. You must know that muslims consider a great blessing when they produce muslim children from hindu converts like your mom. You should get in touch with your mom to support her if she needs it.
5. It is nice of her husband that she was allowed to keep her first name. Normally the hindu woman has to change her first name as well and change to a proper Islamic name.
If anyone wants to chat please contact me on gmail at indian198211 -Sudhansu
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Dear Jain
I am Murali Deshpande , a Maharashtrian Brahmin. I read your side of the story. It pains me to know that you have severed all relations with your mother. I can only hope that you reconsider your decision.
If you accept your mother back into your life along with her husband and daughters not only will it make the two lovebirds happy but more importantly it will bring you happiness like you had not imagined before.
At the very least you should try to find out if your mother is happy or she has problems. Most of all find out whether she is your friend’s first wife or second wife. Muslims are permitted polygamy and it is possible that she is a “souten” to her husband’s first wife. This can lead to acute unhappiness for her.
If she is happy then you may choose to keep your distance however if she has problems then please help her. She is still your Mother and you cannot change that.
Dear brother life can be very drab and difficult for a young widow. Most likely your mother needed a considerate and passionate partner and it so happened that your young friend happened to be around wooing her.
There is nothing wrong in wooing the woman you love. Unless a man takes the initiative and woos the woman he loves, no headway can be made in these matters.
And when a young boy is in love with a Lady who is old enough to be his Mother then he has to make efforts six times greater while wooing.
By marrying your mother the boy (your friend) has done the honourable thing and proved that his love was genuine.
Do not be so worried. All Hindu-Muslim marriages do not end as disasters.
My own mother married a boy 18 years younger to her. I was barely 13 when their affair started. Mom was 37. Ishtiak was 19 and my father hired him to be my mother’s driver.
Within a few days my mother started a relationship with Ishtiak. I am pretty sure my father knew about it. Father had a hernia and prostate cancer and for many years was incapable in bed.
Anyway their affair went on for 4 years when my father passed away. Within a few months of his demise my mother married Ishtiak.
Ishtiak was 23 at the time and Mom was 41. Ishtiak had had just 5 years of schooling and that too in a Madarasa. He had never been to a regular school. My Mother had an M.A. with Sanskrit. She had studied Sanskrit grammar, Vedic literature and Indian philosophy. On the face of it their marriage had no chance, so diverse were their backgrounds.
Though Mother converted to Islam at the time of her Nikah and changed her name from Vasundhara to Waheeda, nothing else had changed for her. Ishtiak was a very lenient and loving husband.
The only other change was that Ishtiak who normally slept in the garage now entered our house and started sleeping in my father’s bed with my Mother in his tow.
Within 18 months of their marriage my mother, at 43 years of age , gave birth to Ishtiak’s daughter. Mom was ecstatic. She had always wanted a daughter but my father was unable to give her any more children. This girl brought so much joy into our lives.
Both Mom and Ishtiak loved each other a lot and were inseparable. At 47, Mom was miraculously pregnant again but this time she miscarried at 5 months. After that Ishtiak started using contraceptives with the intention to protect Mom from further discomfort. With all her heart Mom wanted to have more babies with him but he firmly rejected the idea. For him Mom’s good health was paramount.
Their marriage was immensely successful. My mother took care of my father’s business and Ishtiak helped her in whatever way he could. After my graduation I too joined the family business.
After 11 years of being married together Ishtiak died in a car accident. Mom was shattered and wept uncontrollably. I had not seen her cry like this even when my own father died.
Mom never had another man in her life after that. She received many offers of marriage from well known Muslim men during the four month period of “iddah”. However she chose to live life as Ishtiak’s widow, and spent her time raising the daughter she had had with Ishtiak.
That girl blossomed into a beautiful young lady and is now living abroad after marrying a Hindu boy.
Dear Jain if your mother has indeed found happiness in the arms of your young friend then we should be happy for her. Please understand that nowadays women have babies even in late years of their life and @45 life does not end for them. Hence there is no need to be alarmed that your Mother conceived two daughters for him unless she has medical issues and Doctors have advised against pregnancy.
If there are no such issues and she is okay with it then let her enjoy Motherhood a third time if she so wishes. For a woman it is blissful to have babies. Babies are symbolic of their love for their man.
Carnal pleasure is the foundation of any man-woman relationship. Lust has the effect of charging a loving relationship with energy. It animates the lovers to give off their very best to each other. However lust can never substitute love itself.
You should not look askance if you see lust in the eyes of your Mother and your friend. What you should look for however is whether physical intimacy is all that the boy is interested in.
Besides quality sex, women want emotional warmth from their lover. If the boy does not share with her the need for such warmth then obviously they are on unequal grounds. If this is the case then there is a major problem with their marriage.
However if their marriage has a firm footing in mutual love and shared warmth then you better not treat their marriage as some kind of gimmick. Then you treat the boy not as your friend but as your mother’s husband and let him have your respect.
Dear bro I fully understand how you feel on this account. You feel that you have been robbed and that too unethically.
Well, you have to take into account your Mother’s needs, physical and emotional, and respect the choices made by her.
Women have a sixth sense and know whether a man’s love is genuine. It is young girls who get cheated. Normally elderly women do not get cheated. As such you may rely on your Mother’s judgement in this respect.
My cousin married her school friend’s father after his first wife died. He is 22 years older than her. My cousin is a post graduate from St Xavier’s College, Mumbai and her husband is a graduate from Aligarh Muslim University. They live in Lucknow where both of them are Professors in a college.
My cousin is 35 and her husband is 57. In 16 years of marriage my cousin bore 4 babies for her Muslim husband. Theirs is an extremely happy household full of sunshine and familial bliss.
Please find out whether your Mother has problems and needs your help. If she does, it is your duty to help her. If she has no problems and is happy then you may accept their marriage with an open heart and give your blessings to their union. This will open the way to your own happiness as well. It pains me to know that you are living in regret and gloom. If your mother is happy then you too deserve all the happiness in the world.
I hope and pray with all my heart that your Mother’s marriage to her young husband is successful and blissful. May they both be very happy together. May you find your own peace and happiness in their familial bliss.
Please do let me know what happened since you last posted on this forum. I am eager to know if things are working out for the two love birds. My most sincere best wishes to them and to you.
My mother divorced my father and my mother married a Muslim auto driver. My mother is 40 years old and the Muslim driver is 28 years old. Why did my mother do this? My home situation was fine but my mother cheated my father, my family did not support my mother because she married a Muslim but I supported my mother, otherwise my mother would have been ruined, now What should I do, I don’t understand why my mother did this
This is sad.
You have posted too many comments that we have deleted them.
I am troubled by family problems
I am fursted
Is mother’s marriage successful?
He is a jain and not hindu. Jains are strictly vegetarian on the other hand Hindus are non-vegetarian (chicken, fish even pork in northeast Region). Than how this jain man can adjust with his mother’s new family, it’s impossible very impossible. On the other hand now a days it’s often that jain girls/women of Rajasthan are marrying Muslim men in large scale. This is also a part of your destiny, it’s very painful, I understand but hone ko rok sakta hain. Actually now jain’s mother become a baby producing machine. Due to these inter-religious marriages mob lynching are going on, we often read lynchings in newspapers that going-on in different parts of india
Hi Jain
1. Sorry I read this a few months late. I have not been very active on this site lately. I have some thoughts on your situation.
Why have you broken up contact with your mom? Irrespective of whom she has married she is still your mother and might need your help. Please dont break off contact with her
2. Nowadays its very normal for hindu women to marry muslim men. Please look at some real life examples the admin has provided. You will find other cases where hindu women have married much younger or much older muslim men. I have personal experience in this case where my mother married a much older muslim man. In most cases the marriage is very successful and the woman (after some compromises is normally very happy)
3. In your case since your moms new husband is much younger I am assuming she got attracted to him due to his physical charm and his ability to keep her sexually happy. I see all these as positive changes to your moms life. Your mom is still young and she is enjoying herself now. You should be happy that your mom is now leading a sexually fulfilling life
4. You mentioned she has given birth to 2 kids already. This is not suprising that normally muslims prefer larger families. Given that her husband is pretty young I am sure he will want to have a few more children over the next few years. You must know that muslims consider a great blessing when they produce muslim children from hindu converts like your mom. You should get in touch with your mom to support her if she needs it.
5. It is nice of her husband that she was allowed to keep her first name. Normally the hindu woman has to change her first name as well and change to a proper Islamic name.
If anyone wants to chat please contact me on gmail at indian198211
Hi sudhansu
I agree with you,but the problem for jain is that her mother’s new husband is her own friend
First of all i want to correct you, Jains are not Hindus. Hindus eat chicken, nonveg food even (pork in northeast part of india) very much but Jains are strictly vegetarian. If you are an Indian than you should know, but still i want to remind you that it’s very difficult situation in inter-religious marriages atleast in India. Both Hindu/muslim Societies always have tried to avoid or to create obstacles to this kind of marriages, even cases of mob lynching we have heard often in media/newspapers, I want to correct you again that it’s very difficult for a Muslim man to marry a hindu girl in india. I have also read in a newspaper recently that religious jain girl in Rajasthan has married Muslim tailor.
He made a slow , continuous scheme to win my mom . We were in bad economic condition then so he allured my mom with his money . After marriage mom gave birth to two daughters by him . Mom has kept her name and added his surname . He and my mom are married for 3 yrs . I live with my uncle and don’t have any relation with my mom anymore .
I can understand ur pain and life, I’m also experiencing something similar but i believe u should remain in contact with ur mom, don’t leave mom just because she married someone I’m also living with my mom despite her remarry with a muslim man. So love ur mom and be with her
I am glad u haven’t severed relationship with your mother just because she married a muslim. Remember ur mother has right to marry whomever she wants so be a good son and always be with ur mother.I hope Jain goes to leave with his mother as well if his new father is ok with it
Hi Chithra
I agree with you,but the problen for zain is that her mother’s new husband is her own friend.
He is a jain and not hindu. Jains are strictly vegetarian. Than how this jain man can adjust with his mother’s new family, it’s impossible. On the other hand now a days it’s often that jain girls/women of Rajasthan are marrying Muslim men in large scale. This is also a part of his destiny, it’s very painful, I understand but hone ko rok sakta hain. Actually now jain’s mother become a baby producing machine.
Hi jain
What was the reaction of your friend’s family members on the marriage of your mother and your friend Did they adopt your mother?
Same thing happened to me. After my father left my mom, my mom married a Hindu. She was his courtesan for a few months. Now we converted to Hindu and we are very happy in life.
Can you share more details? Why you have the last name and the first name from different faiths?
Dear Jain, this must be very painful to go through this. There is not much you can do now but certainly educate other about this sad experience of your own life. Let’s hope it will help others not getting trapped like this.
Do you think that was honest innocent love or it was premeditated act to gain someone out of her? Did they got married by Nikaah? Is your mom Muslim? There must be money/asset after your dad, does the Muslim man control all these now?
Changing the subject, what would you tell to Jameela at https://interfaithshaadi.org/muslim-girl-with-a-hindu-married-man/ We hope you will interact with her.