Sofia says: April 25, 2013 at 3:37 am
Hello Admn.sir,
I am from Liverpool, UK, working in a mall presently aged 24 years.
When I was 17 years old, my cousins raped me on a night turn by turn and fearing my life I could not speak against. It became a matter of routine.
For them observing my silence. When it became beyond tolerance I disclosed to my mother, who banged me and asked one of them to marry me. No one was prepared to marry me since I cannot bleed on wedding night.
Since then I became a sore of eye to my parents and they wanted to get rid of me. With a great difficulty I could get a job in this mall and started living separately.
Now I am in relationship with a Sikh boy aged 25 years old, name Harnam and he wants to marry me, knowing every thing about me. Though I also love him too much and wish to marry him only, but due to guilty sense, I feel that will it not be a sin? I am prepared to leave the Islam a dirty religion and enemy of women.
Seeking your wonderful advices please. -Sofia
Admin says:
Dear Sofia,
As you have requested, lets us analyze the “sin”. Sin means different thing to different people. There are three types of people; A: people who believe in the book and apostle, B: people who believe in God, not the middle-men (apostles and books) and C: those are critical thinkers and free-spirited. Once you are clear on what “sin” means to you, rest of decisions for your life will be easy to make.
A: There are many people who believe that the book (Bible, Torah, Koran, Geeta, etc) is written by God and every word in it is wishes of the God. One cannot add or delete any statement between two pages of that book. Further, whatever the apostle(s) is telling/told us are all God’s wishes (like God has no time to interact with us, common men and women, but only through a male-agent called apostle).
If you wish to believe in the middle-men theory, who that trust worthy person be for you? Is Muhammad that messenger? If yes, unfortunately he is not with you now to guide you today. Is that your imam (view Veena Malik)? Would you believe your cousins (who raped you) as a messenger of Allah, if they claim Allah talk to them? Would you believe your mother as that messenger? Who would you trust today as a messenger of Allah?
If you are one of such believers, then you have to think of Muhammad’s life and assume what he did to several women were God’s wishes. Further, you have to accept every word written for women in the Koran as Allah’s ultimate wishes. You will have to produce two male witnesses to prove rape on you as Allah has commended to Muslim. If this was the case, may be you should not have complained to your mother about the rape. Instead of feeling pain in THIS life, you have to think that at least your AFTER life will be wonderful and put up with all torture being performed on your body.
B: There are other types of people who believe in God (Allah in Arabic) but they will question the apostles (Muhammad, the pope, imams, rabbis and pandits). They believe in taking the best from the book and leave the rest for other religious fanatic.
Sofia, forget the middle-man Muhammad and assume that Allah is right in front of you and telling you, “Sofia, I have made you smart, strong, gave a job and further and put you in UK. Now do that is exactly what I (Allah) want you to do.” Sofia, if Allah gives you such freedom, what would you do?
C: A rational and critical thinker would say below are sins:
• Your cousins committed sin by raping you.
• You committed sin by not reporting to UK police (you should still call police today and narrate all details. Put those bastards in prison. Your Sikh bf will support you. Muslim sisters on this site will be with you. Zahid also suggested the same).
• You committed sin by putting up with such injustice for many years.
• Your mother committed sin by asking you to marry those criminal rapists.
• Your mother committed sin by not supporting you and trying to get rid of you.
• Those who expect their wives to bleed are committing sin by not-trusting their loved one.
This sin-business is created by Christians and perfected by Muhammad for benefit of their religious institutions. This Judgment Day is all hypothesis, there is no proof. Actually, you are being judged every day, every second, right here. You will gain based on your karma, right in this life. Further, heaven is right around you; you just have to learn to recognize it and enjoy it. Do not live in hell today. Do not count on fake promises of heaven in the AFTER life. Further, there is no sin in marrying a Godly person like Harnam.
Bottom line, we believe you are a victim, not a sinner. Your Muslim community, including your mother, has made you worth less than a penny. Why will you ever care for them or their sin-logic? It is good that Harnam is willing to give you back your pride and dignity that you deserve. What are you waiting for? Best wishes. -Admin
Gandhi on Sin: If this (not following Jesus is sin) be the Christianity acknowledged by all Christians, I cannot accept it. I do not seek redemption from the consequences of my sin. I seek to be redeemed from sin itself, or rather from the very thought of sin. Until I have attained that end, I shall be content to be restless.’ ……….’Whatever a man sows, that shall he reap.’ The law of Karma is inexorable and impossible of evasion. There is thus hardly any need for God to interfere. He laid down the law and, as it were, retired. –Gandhi autobiography
Mariam says: April 29, 2013 at 1:22 am
My dear sister Sofia,
A crime was committed against you dear heart. You are the victim and those men are the criminals. You did not do anything to bring this crime upon you. It is not your shame, it is theirs. It is not your sin, it is theirs. I know you probably don’t want to report this to the police because you probably feel too much time has passed and that you don’t have enough support or encouragement to help you. Or that you still feel shame and you might think nothing will be accomplished anyway, or the police won’t believe, help or protect you.
I am so sorry for what happened to you and I am even more sorry that your mother would not support you. I guess she was acting the only way she knew how, and that she, sadly, didn’t know any better. Your family has let you down. Instead of fighting for you and comforting you in your pain, they made it worst by not believing in your innocence. I am so ashamed at them for that.
I am sorry that culture and backwards thinking won out over peace and truth in your religion. All is not lost, God is still with you. At this point, you should go on with your life. Give over that guilt to God and let him renew your spirit and show you a new way of life. Marry the man of your dreams and bring up your children the right way. Don’t let your past be your stumbling block that brings bitterness and resentment into your heart.
You are young and you have a lot of life worth living. God is bigger than anything you have encountered yet, even religion. He wants you to be happy…and He loves you. Sometimes ‘family’ is not the ones who we share a bloodline with. New friends, your husbands family…they can be your ‘family’ and you can begin again. You are a precious woman. Enjoy your life! – Mariam
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i dnt understand why majority of muslim men against freedom of women?why don’t they themselves wear burka instead of forcing women to wear that.?why r the all shit strictness implementation on women ,why not men? What they think about their mentality
dear admin,
u knw wat I hav been scrolling through this website& I found the problems of our muslim brothers & sisters are due to the social evils which are found in every religion, n u kept on talking the shit all over n act as a fuel to the fire. u should b ashamed of yourself, I am alsi a sikh n I dnt have the same mentality as urs. u r so disgusting n u r trying to create hate b/w muslims n sikhs, n trying to prove that sikhs r good n muslims r bad, u know what bastards like u r the problem for the society. people like u create such problems n support them, & t let me tell u that our gurus were nt killed by muslims, what we still think, bt were killed by the mughals who came to india to just increase their empire & wealth. so we should go through history n should stop criticizing muslims for murders of our gurus because it has nothing with the religion bt was done all over India n lateron britishers and east india company did the same.bt they made a fool of we people n adopted the policy of divide n rule, so people like should stop calling yourselfs a sikh coz a true sikh would never do that. dear admin I would advice u to first go through history and the talk all this bullshit about any religuon because no1 has to talk shit about any religion, we should respect every religion.
Dear True Sikh,
Thanks for correcting us if we made a wrong interpretation of what happened in history. Please also plan to come here to guide Sikh-Muslim couples who are in love and wishes to marry by respecting each other.
Can you?
We seem to have many people in this forum and many others that I know who pretend to be muslim women but actually someone else. All you are trying to do in the internet is to say bad things about Islam pretending to be a Muslim women. Lot of people are doing it these days due to insecurity and the fact that many hindu and sikh women end up marrying muslim guys. Nice try!
@junaid and all Muslim- trying to twist the Islamic culture of rape,
explain this –
http://lightonthings.blogspot.in/2007/02/why-rape-is-not-found-in-islamic.html
My dear sister Sofia,
A crime was committed against you dear heart. You are the victim and those men are the criminals. You did not do anything to bring this crime upon you. It is not your shame, it is theirs. It is not your sin, it is theirs. I know you probably don’t want to report this to the police because you probably feel too much time has passed and that you don’t have enough support or encouragement to help you. Or that you still feel shame and you might think nothing will be accomplished anyway, or the police won’t believe, help or protect you. I am so sorry for what happened to you and I am even more sorry that your mother would not support you. I guess she was acting the only way she knew how, and that she, sadly, didn’t know any better. Your family has let you down. Instead of fighting for you and comforting you in your pain, they made it worst by not believing in your innocence. I am so ashamed at them for that. I am sorry that culture and backwards thinking won out over peace and truth in your religion. All is not lost, God is still with you. At this point, you should go on with your life. Give over that guilt to God and let him renew your spirit and show you a new way of life. Marry the man of your dreams and bring up your children the right way. Don’t let your past be your stumbling block that brings bitterness and resentment into your heart. You are young and you have a lot of life worth living. God is bigger than anything you have encountered yet, even religion. He wants you to be happy…and He loves you. Sometimes ‘family’ is not the ones who we share a bloodline with. New friends, your husbands family…they can be your ‘family’ and you can begin again. You are a precious woman. Enjoy your life!
Mariam
Mariam,
Excellent views and very well said, thanks for taking time out of your busy life for others who are deprived in this World.
Dear Sofia,
You should follow Gurcharan’s genuine advice.You & Harnam are made for each other.So marry with Harnam & spend a happy married life. Don’t feel any guilty sense in your conscience.you are not sinner.
Almighty GOD make you courageous.Bravo Harnam!You are real HERO.
@zahid – Islam does not need to be defamaed, you Muslims are good at that, your brother Osama, Ali Hassan, afjal guru, kasab and so many are good examples.
2nd – your Qur’an says to get 4 witness, who actually saw intercourse. If victim can’t get the witness the Muslim guy is not guilty. Plus even when that guy is punished, victim girl will also punished. This is your Muslims justice, tell me if you need proof of judgment, I can give you that too.
3rd- Islam is the biggest enemy of free society, where people live in freedom and peacefully, with dignity and honor, no wonder Muslims can’t see that. Why Muslims don’t settle down in you Muslim countries if you have problem with Christians, Jews,Hindus,Sikhs, every other religion
I have already given explaination that 4 wittness is required to prove adultery not rape. If in some country a women is asked to give four witness to prove rape then the countries do not fallow islamic law If you donot believe then donot believe as you are in ignorence againest islam. Now thouse who kill innocent people will get hell fire weather it is osama afghal guru or kasab. Who is responsible for 9/11 vist
http://www.answering-christianity.com
Saw your site, all it said was, Christianity is closer to Islam, hence it should be easy for Christians to convert to Muslim. Why the hell your website didn’t say that Muslims should have no problem can’t converting to Christianity? Why so dumb logic, do you know Christianity was existed Before Islam, so why the fuck you Muslims are twisting the facts, you are the most fucked up race in the world, most hated, all coz of ur foolishness. When this world will convert to Islam that will be end of the planet earth. We can tolerate people following whatever religion they like, but not Islam, most rubbish , criminally oriented religion man could have, Islam. Don’t you have a job dude, all you do is promote Islam with lies, that is not right, if your Islam is truth, people will follow it, not like you tricks called Taqiyya, twist the truth etc…
Muslims are not danger for world peace it is terrorist organisation that are danger for world peace. Taliban al- queda are all terrorist organisation that are creation of biggest terrorist organisation america. 4 witness are required to prove adultery and not rape
Junaid was also born as a result of copy and paste process by sexual encounter by mutta marriage of his mother.
copy paste nargis from antiislamic site
But all that is written copy pasted is your Qur’an itself, which you say is truth, so how come its fake now? Are you saying Qur’an is fake?
Hello sisters,
A new friend I met was expressing her concern about the mistreatment of women in the Islamic world. One issue that resonated strongly with her was that of male rapists going scot-free, while the raped women are often blamed for the rape and can even be punished under some Sharia courts.
Before getting to the Islamic roots of many of these illogical views on rape Islam has, we need to learn a bit about a rumour the Islamic prophet’s youngest child bride, Aisha, suffered from.
(This note isn’t intended to be a thorough analysis, but just some quick insights. This issue can take up volumes, I am sure.)
Details on a scandal involving Aisha is well-documented in Islamic texts of the Hadith and Sira (e.g. Sahih Muslim, Book 37, Number 6673; Sahih Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 48, Number 829).
The stories narrated are long, but to summarize, Aisha was accompanying a Muslim army, and she was one day erroneously left behind. A Muslim who lagged behind the army found her and she accompanied him back to the Muslim army.
Some Muslims spread accusations against her that she had had intercourse with the man. Aisha strongly denied this and was very hurt, but the rumours continued.
Eventually, Quranic revelations were revealed in which Aisha was declared innocent of the rumours being spread:
Quran 24: 13-16:
Why did they not bring four witnesses of it? But as they have not brought witnesses they are liars before Allah. And were it not for Allah’s grace upon you and His mercy in this world and the hereafter, a grievous chastisement would certainly have touched you on account of the discourse which you entered into. When you received it with your tongues and spoke with your mouths what you had no knowledge of, and you deemed it an easy matter while with Allah it was grievous. And why did you not, when you heard it, say: It does not beseem us that we should talk of it; glory be to Thee! this is a great calumny?
سورة النور
لَوْلَا جَاءُوا عَلَيْهِ بِأَرْبَعَةِ شُهَدَاءَ ۚ فَإِذْ لَمْ يَأْتُوا بِالشُّهَدَاءِ فَأُولَٰئِكَ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ هُمُ الْكَاذِبُونَ
وَلَوْلَا فَضْلُ اللَّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَتُهُ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ لَمَسَّكُمْ فِي مَا أَفَضْتُمْ فِيهِ عَذَابٌ عَظِيمٌ
إِذْ تَلَقَّوْنَهُ بِأَلْسِنَتِكُمْ وَتَقُولُونَ بِأَفْوَاهِكُمْ مَا لَيْسَ لَكُمْ بِهِ عِلْمٌ وَتَحْسَبُونَهُ هَيِّنًا وَهُوَ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ عَظِيمٌ
وَلَوْلَا إِذْ سَمِعْتُمُوهُ قُلْتُمْ مَا يَكُونُ لَنَا أَنْ نَتَكَلَّمَ بِهَٰذَا سُبْحَانَكَ هَٰذَا بُهْتَانٌ عَظِيمٌ
Quran 24:4 states that those who fail to bring four witnesses would be flogged:
And those who accuse free women then do not bring four witnesses, flog them, (giving) eighty stripes, and do not admit any evidence from them ever; and these it is that are the transgressors.
سورة النور
وَالَّذِينَ يَرْمُونَ الْمُحْصَنَاتِ ثُمَّ لَمْ يَأْتُوا بِأَرْبَعَةِ شُهَدَاءَ فَاجْلِدُوهُمْ ثَمَانِينَ جَلْدَةً وَلَا تَقْبَلُوا لَهُمْ شَهَادَةً أَبَدًا ۚ وَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْفَاسِقُونَ
From this, Islamic theologians stated that, in order to prove adultery or similar types of sexual misconduct, four male witnesses should be produced. The witness of a female is at most worth half that of a man’s, and limited to financial transactions (Quran 2:282).
As I understand it (and as I was raised to understand it), the rule of four witnesses was intended to protect Muslim women from being falsely labeled as having had forbidden intercourse (zina). That said, some Islamic clergy extended this rule to a bizarre situation: A woman claiming to have been raped will need to produce to the Sharia court four male witnesses to prove her case against the rapist. If she cannot produce four witnesses, her case turns into a chastity crime and is thus punished accordingly. Alternatively, she may be punished for making perceived false accusations. Also, at least one school of jurisprudence considers pregnancy sufficient evidence for sexual misconduct, so if a rape victim becomes pregnant and she cannot prove the rape, she can face lashing or death by stoning.
For example, Pakistan had been implementing the Hudood Ordinance for more than two decades, and it provided the requirements described above regarding rape victims. It was only relatively recently that a Women’s Protection Bill was passed that allows rape victims to charge their rapists under civil law. It was strongly opposed by religious Pakistani party members.
In Iran, Nazanin Mahabad Fatehi faced the death penalty for defending herself and her niece from being raped. As she defended herself with a knife, she stabbed one of the attempted rapists to his death. Without four male witnesses, she faced the death sentence. (She was released due to intense international and media attention.)
I also found a decent article on these issues on BBC: Debate rages over women and Sharia.
There’s also an impression, among a large number of Muslim followers, that if a woman is raped, it’s usually her fault; that her mere presence in the street without a veil, for example, has ‘tempted’ the poor man to rape her. A notorious example of this mentality among Western Muslims is a 7th century misogynistic Australian barbarian called Taj El-Din Al-Hilali, who said in a Friday sermon that if a woman gets raped, it is mostly the woman’s fault because she wasn’t in her home. He also said:
“If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the backyard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it … whose fault is it, the cats or the uncovered meat? The uncovered meat is the problem.”
Bigots come and go, but what’s disturbing in his case is that he is a leading Muslim figure in Australia, and that the Friday after his remarks were publicized, 5000 Muslims in Australia actually cheered in support of his remarks. Other Muslim leaders supported him, too (example).
I will need to make it clear and obvious that raping Muslim women is absolutely forbidden in Islam. However, there are some Muslims who go on raping rampages on non-Muslim women in Western countries, and they find justification for it, partly because “it’s the woman’s fault for going out without the veil”, and partly because of verses like Quran 4:24 and Quran 23:6, which permit a Muslim male to take non-Muslim women after a battle and keep them as war booty and as slaves (see my detailed note on this here). Those rapists tend not to look at the West favorably and consider themselves at war with it already, so they find their women legitimate for them. I have not heard of any scholar explicitly allow this though. There’s a very disturbing account of immigrant rape trends here.
Almighty Allah says: (Quran 4:15)” If any of your women are guilty of lewdness, Take the evidence of four (reliable) witnesses from amongst you against them; and if they testify,confine them to houses until death do claim them, or Allah ordain for them some (other) way.” (Quran 24:4) “And those who launch a charge against chaste women, and produce not four witnesses (to support their allegations)- flog them with eighty stripes; and reject their evidence ever after: for such men are wicked transgressors;- (Quran 24:13) “Why did they not bring four witnesses to prove it?When they have not brought the witnesses, such men, in the sight of Allah, (stand forth) themselvesas liars!”
the above verse tells about adultery not rape. You cannot say adultery=rape
In Islam, we are not allowed to tarnish the honor of anyone. One is required to produce four witnesses when making an allegation of adultery against another person; otherwise, one will be guilty of slandering. A raped woman is a victim that must be treated with honor and kindness. She is not required to produce four witnesses to prove the crime done against her, nor is she punished for the crime done against her. A hadith that reports like this
Wa’il ibn Hujr reports of an incident when a woman was raped. Later, when some people came by, she identified and accused the man of raping her. They seized him and brought him to Allah’s messenger, who said to the woman, “Go away, for Allâh has forgiven you,” but of the man who had raped her, he said, “Stone him to death.” (Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud). [ 68 ] According to a Sunni hadith , the punishment for committing rapist is death, there is no blame attached to the victim.
Fmg, rape, honor killing are not allowed in islam thouse who do these practice donot fallow islam
vist
http://www.alsiraj.net/English/misc/women/html/page01.html to know about women in islam
honor killing is not allowed in islam vist
to know more about it
http://www.questionsaboutislam.com/women-in-islam/islam-honour-killing.php
FMG NOT ALLOWED IN ISLAM Vist
http://www.minaret.org/fgm-pamphlet.htm
Rape not allowed in islam vist
http://www.muslimaccess.com/articles/Women/rape_in_islam.asp
http://www.faithinallah.org/does-islam-allow-muslims-to-rape-female-sex-slaves-or-keep-unmarried-concubines/
Thanks Fauzia my dear sister,
Zahid should feel ashamed of having born out of mutta marriage?
Does he know who is his actual father, bringing him on this earth?
Haramzada.
Tum to uk maih rahti hain aap nay yeh kis say saikha apnay parents say jo hindu hain
Zahid,
Islam needs 4 witnesses to prove rape case.
Islam is a most dangerous and unethical religion for women.
I came to know your mother had mutta marriages, is not a way of raping
a helpless women.It is also read that you were born out of mutta marriage? Dont you realize the evil practices of Islam.
SHAME ON YOU.
@zahid – Islam does not need to be defamaed, you Muslims are good at that, your brother Osama, Ali Hassan, afjal guru, kasab and so many are good examples.
2nd – your Qur’an says to get 4 witness, who actually saw intercourse. If victim can’t get the witness the Muslim guy is not guilty. Plus even when that guy is punished, victim girl will also punished. This is your Muslims justice, tell me if you need proof of judgment, I can give you that too.
3rd- Islam is the biggest enemy of free society, where people live in freedom and peacefully, with dignity and honor, no wonder Muslims can’t see that. Why Muslims don’t settle down in you Muslim countries if you have problem with Christians, Jews,Hindus,Sikhs, every other religion.
May be this story is fake to defame islam if It happens then it is your only your silence that encourages him to rape you . You should go police station and lodge a complaint againest him so that he can get his punishment. If it had happened in muslim country run by sharia your cousin will be stoned to death by doing such crime. your parents are very coward who donot lodge complaint againest your cousin in police station. By marring sikh meaning you are marring outside religion. Thouse who are marring outside religion will get hell fire vist
http://www.alsiraj.net/English/misc/women/html/page01.html
It is a common practice in muslim families that their nearest relatives do not hesitate to rape even their own sisters. Poor females due to honour killing fears keep their mouth shut.Almost of 95% cases happen in families only, because they treat women just a sex toy.
Several girls become pregant from their own brothers, uncles and ultimately either they commit suicide or killed even by their parents.
@fauzia
may be your father uncle brother cousin you relatives have raped and made you pragnent that is why you are barking like mad bitch. Rape cases are minimum in muslim countries because rapist will get harsh punishment if he rapes someone like you . The punishment of rapist is stoned to death. 99.99% rapist are non muslim like your father who rape you.
@zahid What is wrong with you. Putting religion aside, the reason rape percentages are so low in Muslim countries is that is it near enough impossible to convict someone of rape. Needing four Male witnesses is near enough impossible and also the shame is more or less unbearable within the culture.
Also stop joking about things like this, is so messed up.
Now look at a country like the UK where there is a high enough population of muslins that live here with a less than forgiving law to rape. Most rapes on average that are reported are Muslim men on children/women. Also if you think the UK court are trying to be bias to Muslims and only reporting there crimes, it is the exactly the opposite. Some councils have hidden reports because they didn’t want to sound raciest and ignored the allegation. the head of some areas have been stacked due to this. If you watch the news you know exactly what i am on about. Channel 4 also did a documentary about this around a year ago.
I an not saying that all Muslims are messed up, I am just saying that there is a problem that needs to be addressed in the community. Trying to hide it or justify these things to protect face is not the way. Some Laws are regulations written over 1200 years ago are not applicable any more and need to be changed.
Any one could make any statement. Can you provide proof to your claim in bold?
@perdip
may i know which sharia governd country has a law that needs four eyewitness, yes there is a concept of 4 witness but it is not like as you think, it is the exact opposite
do you think those beheading of rapist in muslim countries were done only after 4 eye-witness, don`t lie here, its a public forum, think twice before firing in air
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juBkiCeklnA
Hello sister,
Dont worry, forget about past. Those criminals shall be punished one day. You dont waste time, marry our brother Harnam.
You will have full freedom in your married life.
Jo bole so nihal, satshri akal.