Haifa says: Oct 27, 2012 at 7:31 am
Hello every body,
I have read different comments on this blog from different persons.
What I have understood, that love has no barrier of country, religion etc. but one thing must be kept in mind that interfaith marriages should be based on mutual understanding, trust, confidence and loyality with each other.
I am Haifa from Lebanan a Senior Chemist in a British oil and gas company and I am too married with a Hindu guy, who is reservoir engineer in the same company. We met in Alabama Petroleum of Lebanan. I found him very nice, cooperative and dedicated to me, none of us changed religion, but respect sentiments, and life styles of each other, by making suitable adjustments. -Haifa.
Also read: Hindu girl, Muslim girl, Hindu boy, Muslim boy,
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From the spiritual aspect, there are seven points to remember:
According to the Quran, men and women have the same spirit, there is no superiority in the spiritual sense between men and women. [Noble Quran 4:1, 7:189, 42:11]
The Quran makes it clear that all human beings (and the phraseology doesn’t apply to men or women alone, but to both) have what you might call a human; He
“breathed some of My spirit into divine touch. When God created him”(or her in this sense). [Noble Quran 15:29 See also 32:9]
Some of His spirit here means not in the incarnational sense, but the pure, innate spiritual nature that God has endowed her or him with.
The Quran indicates again that one of the most honored positions of human, is that God created the human, and as I referred to Surah 17 earlier, it means both sexes, as His trustee and representative on earth. There are many references in the Quran that reaffirm this.
Nowhere in the Quran do we find any trace of any notion of blaming Eve for the first mistake or for eating from the forbidden tree. Nowhere, even though the Quran speaks about Adam, Eve, and the forbidden tree, but in a totally different spirit. The story is narrated in 7:19-27, and it speaks about both of them doing this, both of them are told that both of them disobeyed, both of them discovered the consequences of their disobedience, both of them seek repentance and both of them are forgiven. Nowhere in the Quran does it say woman is to be blamed for the fall of man. Furthermore, when the Quran speaks about the suffering of women during the period of pregnancy and childbirth, nowhere does it connect it with the concept of original sin, because there is no concept of original sin in Islam. The suffering is presented not as a reason to remind woman of the fall of man, but as a reason to adore and love woman or the mother. In the Quran, especially 31:14, 46:15, it makes it quite clear God has commanded upon mankind to be kind to parents and mentions,
“His mother bore him in difficulty or suffering upon suffering.” [Noble Quran 31:14, 46:15]
The Quran makes it clear again to remove any notion of superiority and I refer you again to 49:13. I must caution you that there are some mistaken translations, but if you go to the original Arabic, there is no question of gender being involved.
In terms of moral, spiritual duties, acts of worship, the requirements of men and women are the same, except in some cases when women have certain concessions because of their feminine nature, or their health or the health of their babies.
The Quran explicitly, in more than one verse, 3:195, 4:124, specified that whoever does good deeds, and is a believer and then specifies “male or female” God will give them an abundant reward.
In the area of economic rights, we have to remember that in Europe until the 19th century, women did not have the right to own their own property. When they were married, either it would transfer to the husband or she would not be able to dispense of it without permission of her husband. In Britain, perhaps the first country to give women some property rights, laws were passed in the 1860’s known as “Married Women Property Act.” More than 1300 years earlier, that right was clearly established in Islamic law.
“Whatever men earn, they have a share of that and whatever women earn, they have a share in that.” [Noble Quran 4:32]
Secondly, there is no restriction in Islamic law that says a woman cannot work or have a profession, that her only place is in the home. In fact, by definition, in a truly Islamic society, there must be women physicians, women nurses, women teachers, because it’s preferable also to separate teenagers in the volatile years in high school education. And if she chooses to work, or if she’s married with the consent of her husband, she’s entitled to equal pay, not for equal work, but for work of equal worth.
Thirdly, when it comes to financial security, Islamic law is more tilted in many respects towards women. These are seven examples:
During the period of engagement, a woman is to be on the receiving side of gifts.
At the time of marriage, it is the duty of the husband, not the bride’s family. He is supposed to pay for a marital gift. The Quran called it a gift, and it is exclusively the right of the woman. She doesn’t have to spend it on the household, she doesn’t have to give it to her father or anyone else.
If the woman happened to own any property prior to marriage, she retains that property after marriage. It remains under her control. Also, in most Muslim countries, the woman keeps her own last name, and her own identity.
If the woman has any earnings during her marital life, by way of investments of her property or as a result of work, she doesn’t have to spend one penny of that income on the household, it is entirely hers.
The full maintenance and support of a married woman is the entire responsibility of her husband, even though she might be richer than he is. She doesn’t have to spend a penny.
At the time of divorce, there are certain guarantees during the waiting period and even beyond for a woman’s support.
If the widow or divorcee has children, she’s entitled to child support.
In return for these listed securities, it is clear why the Islamic laws pertaining to inheritance give men a higher share. From the social standpoint, as a daughter we find that credit goes to Islam for stopping the barbaric practice of pre-Islamic Arabs of female infanticide. These ignorant people used to bury female daughters alive. The Quran forbade the practice, making it a crime. Surah 81 Additionally, the Quran condemned the chauvinistic attitudes of some people who used to greet the birth of a boy with gladness, but sadness in the case of a girl.
The duty, not the right, the duty of education, as the Prophet said, is a duty on every Muslim, male and female.
As far as treatment of daughters is concerned, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Anyone who has two daughters, and did not bury them, did not insult them and brought them up properly, he and I will be like this,” holding his two fingers close together. Another version adds, “And also did not favor his sons over daughters.” One time the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was seated. A companion was sitting with him. The companion’s son came. He kissed his son and put him on his lap. Then his daughter came, and he just sat her by his side. The Prophet told the man, “You did not do Justice,” meaning he should have treated the daughter equally, kissed her and put her in his lap also. Indeed, whenever the Prophet’s daughter Fatimah came to him, in front of everyone, he stood up, kissed her and let her sit in his favorite place where he’d been sitting.
From the marital standpoint, the Quran clearly indicates in Surahs 30:20 and 42:11 that marriage is not just an inevitable evil, marriage is not somebody getting married to his master or slave, but rather to his partner.
“Among His Signs is this, that he created for you mates from among yourselves, that they may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” [Noble Quran 30:21]
There are numerous verses in the Quran to the same effect.
Secondly, the approval and consent of the girl to marriage is a prerequisite for the validity of marriage in Islam. She has the right to say yes or no.
Husbands’ and wives’ duties are mutual responsibilities. They might not be identical duties, but the totality of rights and responsibilities are balanced. The Quran says:
“Women have the same rights (in relation to their husbands) as are expected in all decency from them, while men stand a step above them.” [Noble Quran 2:228]
This only specifies the degree of responsibility, not privilege, in man’s role as provider, protector, maintainer, and leader of the family. The same Surah speaks about divorce, about consultation between husband and wife, even in the case of divorce. When there are family disputes, first the Quran appeals to reason and the consideration of positive aspects of one’s spouse,
“Dwell with your wives in kindness for even if you hate them, you might be hating someone in whom God has placed so much good.” [Noble Quran 4:19]
If that appeal does not succeed, and problems between the husband and wife continue, there are measures that can be applied. Some of these measures are done privately between husband and wife. Some of them might appear harsh, but there are qualifications to restrict excessive or abusive use of these measures. These measures are considered an attempt to save a marriage rather than break a family apart. If the situation does not improve, even with the limitation and prevention of excesses, the next step is a family council. One arbiter from his family and one from her family should sit together with the couple and try to resolve the problems.
If a divorce becomes necessary, there are many detailed procedures in Islamic law that really knock down the common notion that divorce in Islam is very easy and that it is the sole right of man. It is not the sole right of man alone and neither is it true that all you have to say is: “I divorce you three times,” and that’s it. Islam also has laws regarding custody of children. I was very surprised to see newspapers making the false claim that in all cases custody goes to the father. Custody involves the interest of the child, and laws often favor the mother of young children.
Polygamy has become so mythical in the minds of many people that they assume being Muslim means having four wives. This is a false notion, of course. A very renowned anthropologist, Edward Westermarck, in his two-volume work, “History of Human Marriage,” notes that there has been polygamy in virtually every culture and religion, including Judaism and Christianity. But the point here is not to say, “Why blame Islam?” Actually, Islam is the only religion even among Abrahamic faiths, that specifically limited the practice of polygamy that existed before Islam and established very strict conditions for guidance. The question, “How could any man have two wives? That’s terrible!” reflects ethnocentrism. We assume that because we’re living in the West and it seems strange, and we assume it must apply to all cultures, all times, under all circumstances. This simply isn’t true. Let me give you one current-day example. In the savage attack on Afghanistan, genocide was committed on the Afghani people. It is estimated that 1-1.5 million people lost their lives, a great majority of whom were men of a marriageable age. Now, with a great shortage of men, what will happen to their widows, their orphans and their daughters of marriageable age? Is it better to leave them in a camp, with a handout? Or better a man is willing to take care of his fallen comrade’s wife and children?
It is obvious that monogamy is the norm for Muslims. If we assume that having four wives is the norm, then we assume a population of 80% female and 20% male, which is an impossibility on the aggregate level. The only verse in the Quran that speaks about polygamy, speaks about limiting not instituting polygamy. The verse was revealed after the Battle of Uhud in which many Muslims were martyred, leaving behind wives and children in need of support. This verse shows the spirit and reason of the revelation.
The Quran placed obedience to parents immediately after worship of God.
“We commanded mankind to be kind to his parents” [Noble Quran 31:14]
And then speaks of the mother. In a very succinct statement, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Paradise is at the feet of mothers.” Once a man came to him and asked, “O, Messenger, who among mankind is worthy of my kindness and love?” The Prophet answered, “Your mother.” “Who next?” “Your mother.” “Who next?” “Your mother.” Only after the third time he said, “And your father.”
As a sister in faith, in blood, we find the Quran speaks about men and women, that they should cooperate and collaborate in goodness. Surah 9:71 speaks about men and women as supporters and helpers of each other, ordaining the good and forbidding the evil, establishing prayers and doing charity. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) echoed what the Quran said, “I command you to be kind to women.” In one of his last commands in his farewell pilgrimage before his death, he kept repeating, “I command you to be kind and considerate to women.” In another hadith, he said, “It is only the generous in character who is good to women, and only the evil one who insults them.”
On the question of attire, the Quran and the sayings of the Prophet did not say women must adopt a particular dress of a particular country. It only gives basic boundaries, and for a committed Muslim woman, she doesn’t follow this simply because her father or husband tells her, but because Allah already stated that as a requirement in the Quran, and was explained through revelation given to Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) that this was not to restrict woman, but to provide a virtuous society where sexual attraction is not the main obsession of everyone. This forces everyone to respect the woman for what she is as a human being, as an intellectual and a spiritual being, rather than being diverted to her sexuality.
Finally, a few words about political involvement. The verse quoted earlier, Surah 9:71, which speaks about men and women being supporters and helpers of each other was taken by some jurists to mean that it involves also public life. How could they ordain the good and forbid the evil without women being active in the affairs of their society? According to the Quran, I’m not talking about the practices of Muslims, in Surah 60:12, we read about Muslim women making “bayy’ah” to the Prophet. Bayy’ah as an Islamic term is somewhat analogous, to a degree, to what we would call an election, or oath of allegiance. And that was given in his capacity not only as a Prophet, but as a head of state, as he was already the head of state in Medina.
During the rein of ‘Umar, women participated in law making. ‘Umar made a proposal of a certain regulation concerning marriage. A woman in the mosque stood up and said, “‘Umar, you can’t do that.” ‘Umar did not tell her, “Shut up, you are a woman, you have nothing to do with politics, etc.” He asked, “Why?” She made her argument on the basis of Quran. In front of everybody, he stood up and said, “The woman is right and ‘Umar is wrong,” and he withdrew his proposal. That was the spirit in the early days of Islam.
In the most authentic collection of Hadith, Hadith Bukhari, a section is devoted to the participation of women, not only in public affairs, but in the battlefield, too, and not only as logistical support. Women carried arms, and when there was great danger to the Muslims, they volunteered to participate even in the battlefield.
The problems presented here are not the problems of Islam. They are problems of a lack of commitment, lack of application, or misapplication of Islamic teachings by Muslims themselves. The topics I have tried to cover here represent and exemplify the big gap that exists between the true teachings of Islam as derived from its original sources and its projected image in the West and the way some Muslims behave in the disregard of those noble teachings.
There’s no question that the Western media has played an important role in perpetuating these misconceptions. But in fairness, we should not blame the media alone. Western culture, in writings about other religions, in particular Islam, have distorted images. From books, novels, even in the academic circle, and sermons from the pulpit in places of worship, these kinds of prejudices are perpetuated.
There are fair and honorable people in the media who are receptive to correction of inaccuracies, and who present the facts, when the facts become manifest, as we have seen in the coverage of the barbaric and cruel treatment of the Palestinians n the Occupied Territories. What I would suggest to the media is instead of depending on the distorted information about Islam, they should keep in touch with educated Muslims, and remember, the U.S. has between 5 and 6 million Muslims. Only through correct representation and open communication with Muslims in America can the media give a fair analysis of current events, given the background of those conflicts, and provide a great service to society.
muslims r chudu…aallaaah ka koi mai bud nahi hai …zakir naik ka koi laura nahi hai…..it is a scientific religion…..abu bakri says in sura 10 hayat 7 ….that on allah’s will all bakri(goat) become muslim in next birth …so beard is like bakri….the atomic configuration of muslim r highly developed …without nuclues…talibanis r classic eg of lysosome…suicidal bags…..those who insult this phenomenal religion cannot fuck like a khulla sand..allah has special inclination and love for PIG….PIG receives his unbound and unasked mercy….ASK ANY MUSLIM DO ALLAH LOVE PIGS OR HAS SPECIAL MERCY FOR PIG? ASK THIS B4 GOING ANY DEEP PHILOSOPHICAL DISCUSSION…NOTE WHAT REPLY HE GIVES….MUSLIM CAN TAKE BEEF BUT NOT PORK …THINK DEEPLY ….POKORE WALIKUM
All mosque donations should be diverted to build the nation and poor community…
Than building the mosque and other places…
Human need food and clean water…
So 21st century need the basic stuff than medieval period drama..
People should not be scared to read and understand all the religion and strictly follow none… just get best pieces from different faith… than blindly follow one and spread hatred…
Barking peace peace does not bring peace but just PIECE (DIVISIONS)
Come on grow up… rise, awake and work for humanity than cutting, war, land and other drama
“Females leading prayers of male???? It will make concentration diluted.
More focus will be on female rather than God. ”
haha shows your ill mentality, so you are saying you will not be able to concentrate even with a sight fully dressed lady, civilised people dont loose concentration when they WANT to focus on god, not of womens body part. You are a pervert , no wonder no women is allowed to walk freely in muslim country, because of pervert like you who would rape a women who is modestly dresed and then blame victime. AND the good point is your muslim leaders favour muslim males and ask the victim lady to get proof of rape…hahahaha what an Irony. Most pieceful religion 🙂 What muslims do in real life makes me laugh sometimes.
Oh on related note- you praised terrorist for there killing innocent people, I can understand your frustration
What Shamim says is an eye opener for the Muslims. My suggestions to eliminate/reduce such atrocities on women are as follows:
1. Always progressive ideas shuld be welcomed instead of sticking to the age old bleiefs and relying on the wisdom of only one person i.e. Muhammad. I don’t think that there are more women in Hell than Male. Similarly, other concepts of Islam should be redefined in the light of modern enlightened female prophet who I am waiting for. So might be waiting many others because no female prophet has ever been sent by the Allah.
2. Polygamy must be made a crime in Muslim countries (They are already banned in non-Muslim countries) and India where Muslims are allowed to practice polygamy (though non-Muslims cannot practice polygamy in India).
3.Females Maulvis should be trained and it must be a requirement to consult them in case of divorce.
4.Females should be allowed to move with freedom, visit Mosques and lead the prayers of males. I don’t think Allah would mind females leading the prayers of males.
Satyen,
Prophethood has ended. So don’t wait. 🙂
Adultery and Extra-marital affairs must be made crime rather than polygamy.
Females leading prayers of male???? It will make concentration diluted.
More focus will be on female rather than God.
By the way,
you are most welcome to chat with me.
Congrats Haifa!
On another note:
I think education, career and exposure should be a pre requisite for inter faith (or inter-anything) marriages. People need to have seen the world, lived alone, worked hard and know their priorities, before making brash decisions on the lines of running away from their family, fake conversions, etc.
I think it will lead to even happier inter faith marriages if at all.
hey..how can any of my sister can marry these ugly looking hindus..they r dirty..donot even wash their hand after toilet…they make fun of their devi and call one of my ugly looking hindu friend maa kali..and all the thing writtten in this site about muslim as wrong and even hindu use muslim name..and all things answered to them about hindu religion is right.they can not tolerate.their vedas give them permission for sati i.e kill woman after marriage.even in some village s it is practiced in these days..they kill old woman saying them dayan..there is no respect for girl child in them and kill them..so, low sex ratio in them…their daughters my friends wear so small dresses in front of even her brother..same on them..
actually hindu is using muslim name here.i m proud to be muslim girl …and will proudly die as muslim…how can these ugly hindus can even fantacise about us..i think their sisters r ugly..so,
Hi every body,
I have studied almost every religion and found that Islam is the most cruel and discriminatory regligion for women. So many dirty things have been discribed in the Quran against women. It is most suitable for criminal type persons.Any cruelty can be committed in the name of Islam against women, like the Prophet, rapist and murderer, not sparing his grand daughter like girl to rape in the name of islam?
How terrorists like Al Quaida and Taliban kidnap and rape innocent girls.
ur religion is terrorst religion..ur book ramayan and mahabharta is all about war, sex, gamble and adultery…even geeta was to be banned in russia and ur religion is so confusing shit..thousand of version of ur book and all r contradictory,,,ur seminude goddess kali is goddess of terror..and black and horrible shiv with snake and nomadic arms..lol..think grow up…dalit girl is raped by higher castwes in hindus..grow up..and muslim eat cow and camel ..dont drink their urine like hindus do to pure themselvess..hahaha..fucking fact…but true..dont be angry..come india and research ur own religion..and ur religion is anti science also..earth on sesnag tongue..hey see earth from telescope from moon..there is no sesnaag..haha..fucking fact..but true..
KAFIRS R SPREADING FAKE KNOWLEDGE ABOUT ISLAM BY POSTING THEIR NAME AS MUSLIM ON NET..HOW CAN U BELIEVE THEIR WORK..U EVEN DONT KNOW WHO IS THOSE WHO HAVE POSTED THEM…SO,,THOSE WHO HAVE DOUBT ABOUT ISLAM ..READ QURAN THEMSELVES..DONT BELIEVE OTHERS………
MUSLIM SISTER DONT TRAP IN THE TRAP OF KAFIRS..
LISTEN MUSLIM GIRLS U R TRAPPED BY HINDUS..DONT EVEN TRUST KAFIR..BECAUSE THEY WILL CHANGE ONLY TEMPORARILY…AND RECONVERT TO HINDUISM..AND THOSE SISTER WHO HAVE MARRIED HINDUS FORCE AND CONVINCE THEIR HUSBAND TO BE MUSLIM ..OTHERWISE TAKE TALAK AND START NEW LIFE..LISTEN THIS WORLD IS TEMPORARY..THINK ABOUT GRAVE OR DAY OF JUDGEMENT..I EVEN DOUBT MANY WHO HAVE MARRIES HINDUS WILL BE SURELY BURNT LIKE HINDUS AFTER DEATH..U HAVE TIME …CONVERT UR HUSBAND TO MUSLIM OR END RELATIONSHIP..HOW FULL U R..WHOLE WORLD IS CONVERTING INTO MUSLIM AND U R MARRYING UGLY LOOKING SHORT HIGHTED HINDUS…REMEMBER WHOLE WORLD WILL SOON CONVERT INTO ISLAM AFTER COMING OF JESUS CHRIST AS MUSLIM,,,,
HEYY..U R FAKE..U CAN NOT BE MUSLIM..AWARE MUSLIM SISTER..IN THIS SIGHT HINDUS ARE USING FAKE NAME LIKE MUSLIM TO END UR IMAAN AND MARRY A HINDU KAFIR LIFELESS IDOL WORSHIPPER BOY…PLZZ..REMEMBER THOSE WHO MARRY HINDUS WILL BE PUNISHED WITH THE HELL FIRE,,AS ALLAH WILL NOT FORGIVE THOSE WHO DISOBEY HIM BY MARRYING A HINDU..UR MARRIAGE WILL BE NOT LEGAL ACCORDING TO ISLAM AND WHOLE NIGHT U SPEND WITH HIM WILL BE CONSIDERED AS RAPE ADULTERY AND SINFUL..BECAUSE UR MARRIAGE IS NOT LEGAL…
But Sharia law (Sacred Islamic law) is not our constitution…..Though her marriage is very much legal constitutionally.
No slavery (gulami) anymore to the outdated barbaric customes such as circumcision. All educated womenfolk should think that circumcision is just an oppressive custom on Muslim babies/children as many practices on the women. You all should be determined to no to circumcise your children unless they attain the age of maturity, preferably after marriage. This is an issue that affects the wife of your child. Hence, it should be decided by the married couple. So, must stop this oppression of your child and don’t allow it where ever you can as it’s nowhere mentioned in Quraan. It has imported and thrust upon to the civilized world and though it has lost its ground in the whole non-Islamic world, it still exists among the Muslims/Jews.
Breath in fresh air. It’s time to say no to burqa/Niqab altogether to save yourself from suffocation. Raise your voice where ever you can – in your/relative’s family, in schools, hospitals, buses/trains, marriage parties or other gatherings.
Be your own Maulavi/Mullah. Allah has given intellect to everybody including Muslim women. Then why this dependence on Male Mullahs and Maulavis? You can have female Maulavis/Mullahs who don’t need to be certified by the Male Maulvis. Believe in Allah, but never in Muhammad’s words. Accept the good things of Quraan but not everything of it. The irrational things must be discarded.
Hi muslim sisters,
Very glad to see that our sisters are coming forward for the noble cause of muslim girls community, to guide them, to make them aware of the islamic evils against women. I am a software engineer in USA with my Hindu husband with a loving son. It is due to him only that I could become a software engineer, otherwise in muslim community I would have been in burqa only.
Please continue to write here and share positive experiences of life for the betterment of our muslim sisters.
HEYY..U WILL DIE A TERRIBLE TERRIBLE DEATH AND EVEN PUNISHED WITH HELL FIRE..ALL UR DEGREES WILL BE LEFT BEHIND..AND U WILL DIE WITH UR IMPURE BODY..U WILL SUFFER EVEN IN GRAVE…
HEYY..U WILL DIE A TERRIBLE TERRIBLE DEATH AND EVEN PUNISHED WITH HELL FIRE..ALL UR DEGREES WILL BE LEFT BEHIND..AND U WILL DIE WITH UR IMPURE BODY..U WILL SUFFER EVEN IN GRAVE…THINK THIS
lol
i think u have left ur brain in arabian desert go and bring it
Great dear pray 4 my love too
Hindu boy with a Muslim girls she is now in saudi with her parents
Hello,
I’m not sure if I’m on the right page, but I want to ask any Muslim who has married a non-Muslim. I want to marry my Hindu boyfriend but how can I convince my parents that this is not going against Islam? I have done research on the internet and all I see is that Quran does not allow a Muslim to marry a non-Muslim. Salman and Amrita, if you guys can read this, please let me know your opinions about this. My parents are very supportive but they are worried that I will go against Allah. Please help. Thank you so much.
Please comment Fa at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=3296
THINK OF LIFE AFTER DEATH..THIS WORLD IS TEMPORARY ..ALL HAVE TO DIE…ALLAH WILL NEVER FORGIVE U..AND U WILL EVEN FIND HELL OF LOWEST QUALITIES”’
HaHa…..Koran says this.
That is why Muslims account for 99.9999…. terrorist acts through suicide bombings.
Unable to give proper reasons for humans to live in this world, your Allah gives many reasons for Muslims to kill and get killed. (Verse 9:111)
Vow, Haifa,
So qualified and smart working in E&P company. Best wishes for happy married life.
Haifa,
Congratulations for “none of us changed religion, but respect sentiments, and life styles of each other, by making suitable adjustments.” This is the way to enjoy an interfaith marriage with equality. We wish you will come back on this site to guide other youths in search of equality. Best wishes.