Aafroze says: February 6, 2013 at 5:49 am
I am a young Muslim girl and I am in love with a young Christian guy. I met him on the now removed website Mystery Google. I had put out a search for someone to email me, but only it wasn’t me. I assumed a pseudonym. The guy I am in love with was one of the people that replied back to my search. We began to email back and forth without him knowing my true identity. Our emails continued for several months, but he was still unaware of my deception. I had been deceiving him about my name, and family and friends. I was only honest when talking about myself. We began to date, though we never saw one another. We live far from one another. I never told him the truth about myself for fear of rejection. I lied to him for months.
We quickly became serious about each other, and fell deeply in love. We began discussing marriage. He wanted to spend his life with me, but it wasn’t really me he wanted to be with. The guilt and the lies were eating me up inside. I tried often to break things off with him, but I could not let go, and neither could he. I started losing sleep over my cruel actions toward him. I loved him so much, but I would not tell him the truth, until yesterday. Yesterday I confessed to him what I had been doing.
He said he is hurt, but he still loves me. He believes there are a lot worse things I could have done to him, and wants to give me a chance to show who I really am. Now that he knows everything, he is having a harder time trusting me, which is understandable considering I lied to him for so long, but he still loves me and wants to work this out.
Herein lays the problem, well the second problem after the trust issues that I so kindly gave to us. He and I are not of the same faith. He comes from a religious Christian background, and I from a religious Muslim background. We are in love. We are both unwilling to convert to the other’s religion, because our family would be lost. We are both unwilling to let the other go. I would not ask him to leave his family and join a faith he does not agree with. He would not ask the same of me. I do want to marry him, but I don’t know how that would be possible, unless he or I converted. I am aware that I cannot get married to him without the consent of my parents. My parents would not consent to a union between us if he was not of the same faith.
I don’t know how to make this all work out. I want it to very badly. I love him. I want to spend my life with him, but I can’t because of a religious divide. Is there any way that I could marry him? I need to know. I need to know all of the possibilities. I truly believe we were meant to be. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I would not object to a union of love so long as the Iman was strong. I ask for counsel. I don’t know what to do. I will not part ways with him. I can’t now. I love him. That won’t stop. I need to know if there is hope for us.
Thank you.
And yes, I know I have done wrong in lying to him. I don’t think it’s wrong however, to love him.
Seeking advice.
Ask God for an answer.Don’t ask human beings for answers they will only condemn and ridicule you.Goodluck
Hi
I am in the same sort of boat, my partner he is belonged to no religion and is so sure that he believes in God but not religion it’s self and I come from a Muslim family and my parents recently found out about him and was okay ish at first but as soon as they found out he was a non Muslim it’s was a no go for them. Not only do I now need to decide weather the man I love so much and want to spend the rest of my life with or my family and the religion I’ve been brought up into. Please someone help me I’ve suffering from really bad depression over this all.
Thanks
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11309
I am in same situation. I am in relationship with a Italian catholic guy. we both are serious about each other. My parents are looking for guys for me. I keep rejecting guys my parents shows me for arrange marriage. I don’t think my parents will allow me to marry him. My family are by heart muslims. Can anyone help me how to convince my parents? He don’t wanna convert. He thinks a guy who is born with his religion and converts for a girl, how can I trust him that he would be faithful with me. I think he is right the one who is not faithful with god can’t be faithful with me. I think jew, christian and muslim are different branch of a tree.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=8032
Hello Aafroze,
Are you still in touch with him? Why dont you ask him clearly whether he is interested in you for long term relations or not? Good understand and commitment for everlasting relationship, need dialogues with eachother and respecting each others sentiments.
I was in a similar situation and it is a very difficult one so I’m sorry that you have to go through this. I have dated a Muslim girl for 3 years and we had to end it. We were in school together so while away from our families it was able to work but once we both went back to our respective states problems occurred. Unfortunately religiously there is nothing you can do unless you were able to introduce him to Islam and he was able to embrace it and converted by his own will. I respect Islam and I have read parts of the Quran but I’m from a middle eastern Christian family which means converting isn’t an option. If he isn’t very religious and willing to accept Islam that’s one of your options. Other than that you have the option of following your heart which is a sin but doesn’t mean it won’t work. When I was in my relationship I didn’t keep pork in my house, I fasted with her, we celebrated eid and at the same time she colored Easter eggs with me and decorated the Christmas tree so we embraced both religions. If your family won’t disown you and you are willing to go against the rules of the majority opinion you can find a happy medium but you would be living in sin according to majority opinion of imams. It is a very hard decision, my exgirlfriend couldn’t go against her religion and family so it’s ultimately up to how far you are willing to go for love and how far you are willing to go for God. Good luck Inshallah it will work out for you.
Reply to Joseph at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4330
Hi man, i cant believe how similar your story is to mine, ive been dating a Muslim girl for 3 years and i wasn’t to marry her so bad so does she, we are on a level that is so deep and we was best friends before dating. we’ve both never felt this connection before but i’m christian i don’t know what to do i’m at my wits end i don’t want to end it, i wouldn’t be able to live knowing she is with someone else, i love her so dearly i would die for her but this religious divide is destroying my heart as i know we cannot be together.
Hello sister,
Have you analysed all pros and cons of marriage with him?
Which country are you from?