aryan says: May 8, 2016 at 10:38 pm
my advice is to go for your love,no matter what happen because its ur life and you have the right to choose your love. i am in love with a hindu girl since 9 months.. we both deeply feel for each other and wants to live life together. we both not get offended by each other religion. to be very honest i dont want her to change her religion. whatever she wants to do she is free to even after marriage… i love her not i hate her religion. i do respect it….
conversion is not important love is. even God ask not to force…so why we humans separate others from their religion. we dont have the right to do …God is there to look after them. its not their mistake .in my relationship we both love each other endlessly. and i will bring her easily in my home and will not let her convert..but the only problem is her parents. her dad has a doubt on us as we r friends in his eyes. her every family members respect me but my love says they said very few muslim are good not all. we have not disclose to our parents yet. but i have fear in my heart. i dont wanna lose her…she is the first and last girl to whom i loved allot….i need any suggestions…plz help me pizzazz -Aryan
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Here is the text f Roma from this site only, written to her friend zoya,
I was going through your message, i would like to share my personal experience with you..i got married to a muslim guy 8 months back, left my family n everything for him…I also thought he n his family are very free for all things..he n his family members loved me very much before getting married, but after marriage it was very different n they have a very harsh n rude nature…i could not live with him, it was impossible..
No hindu girl can live or spend her life with a Muslim boy…
Pls Pls dont go against your family members….I went against them n today i m suffering a lot..I have just applied for Divorce n now i m staying with my family n very happy with them…
Muslim guys play all sorts of evil practices to trap non muslim girls.
Aslamualaikum, harjeet realy im worried after reading your post and for like this person all getting a bad name and before marrige you have to know about the guy well and you have to marry well allah s there for his doings he will get punishment in akirah.
if they will ask to perform hindu weddings…i ll surely do…but i ll try my best to do court marriage, as here no one is going to convert..i can accept all the conditions of her parents..but the point is if her dad could not get convinced and say to her to marry a guy of his choice..then…we dont want to take wrong steps….she dont want to go against
Lets wait to hear Islamic perspectives from our Muslim experts on this site, they will get back to you soon.
Meantime, read/view below that you should know as a Muslim (may be you don’t care for all these):
https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=10068
https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=370
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiWLGEKusIg
i have already said to my parents..they consider my happiness nothing else..they dont have any issue…the major problem is to convince her parents….bt how
Good to know; may be ask two sets of parents to meet someday. Your parents are certainly open minded. For your sister, will your parents be happy to marry her off to a Hindu?
Assuming all work out, how will you get married? If the girl’s parents (lets assume) ask for a Hindu wedding, what would your parents say? Don’t answer in blind love but you have to think of all consequences.
This is matter of following taqiyya doctrine for increasing muslim population. After marriage muslim guys change colours under pressure from fundamentalists or pressure from relatives and family members, putting restriction on wife.
my love doesnt have any issues with my religion, but her parents think of. they do think that 90% muslim r nt gud. her dad consider me in 10% because he think that i am a nice guy who have good character and a perfect person. he says all this because in his eyes me and my love is just good friends..but he too have a doubt on us ..As he say to her next daughter that aryan is a very good person but i have a doubt that he may likes my daughter….and he says though the person is precious but he is from different community. her dad says to her elder daughter to explain my love that if there is a feeling inside her for aryan…askd her to forget it..because he dont wanna take back all the freedom of her.
“ALL MUSLIM ARE NOT GOOD”
Is their community thought that muslim do convert the girl and force her to follow islam. but i want to express tht its nt true…it doesnt matter to me….he dad compliments me that aryan is a very good person….is thats nt enough ..why to see my religion. if some muslims made mistakes then plz blame him na ..why to blame his religion as all religion show the right path…she can remain a hindu even after marriage ..but how to explain and win her parents heart..i am not a wrong guy…she loved me allot.. though i can named my whole life to her by staying single forever but she vl forced to marry just because she is a girl she cant remain single.i want to marry her…what my flaws or what my mistakes.. is just am a muslim i cant marry a hindu girl…? why anyone need to convert …..religion is their born identity why to snatch away…i just want her to spend her whole life with me..she is ready…but her parents will not…what to do….? we can tak a wrong step by running away or by having sex…but we dont want to do…why cant we win their hearts …whats wrong we doing…is just loving in differnt religion…thats it…i am a good person infront of her dad…but i am a muslim too…and by that i cant marry? whats the logic…if others muslim are not good ..whats my fault…i just love her….at present situation we are not deciding to tell parents right now beacuse we are not gratuated yet…we are in second year….if we’ll say at presnt …all her freedom could be took away and then her father will forcely fixed other marraige in their caste only…we are just waiting for the suitable time. atleast we get graduate…but how to convince their parents that i m muslim and i love her allot..i ll not askd her to convert never ever….she will remain stick to her present name forever…whatever conditions they will put…i ll accept….but how to say we cant love each other..its next to impossible for me to see with someone else..i may die…i m the only son of parents …..they love me allot…i can convince them (my parents) i know..but how my love will convince…
we can meet for next 2 years by telling we are good friend…but how long…in the long run we have to…we are serious….(see how love make you think of marrying your love even you are not in the liable age ) we can enjoy 2 years by doing all that stuffs which a lover do…but i want that frm now only i have to think to secure my love forever…i love her blindly….even todays generation many are their who says muslim are not just worst..( hey bhagwan muslim ladka ..kaise dosti hogya wologka…khatam krne boliye wrna muslim bnadega apki beti ko) the phrases in bracket said by neighbour…just see their thinking…..they just dont think for their children happiness..they do just think of dignity in their religion…i too helped her family members in several works…they just meant that he is a very very good friend of her..nothing else….cant they see my love in my eyes…..its hurts allot..but i can do anything for love..what should i do?
Aryan, this mentality is there with many people who have experienced a lot of cases of “Love Jihad” (I hate this term but unfortunately this is what everyone calls it nowadays). You should be patient & explain to her parents once you have revealed your love story to them that you will NOT force their daughter to convert or do anything she doesn’t want to do. If you agree to a Hindu wedding, they may reconsider their hard stance on you. (Please keep in mind that this will take many conversations with them & the girl has to support you)
It is mostly the society & their prejudices against Muslims which are causing these types of problems for interfaith couples. I think it’s very important for the girl to get the support of a trusted family member (not sure how her mother or siblings feel about you, but it always helps to get their support) because when you two reveal your relationship and want to be married, this may become a big issue. I know of people who are very strong so they manage to resist the pressures, tell their families they will not marry anybody else but their love, so in the end the family has no choice but to agree.
In my case, my husband (coming from Hindu family with very anti-Muslim mentality) fought a very hard and long battle against his family who were opposed to me because I am Muslim. It was very difficult, but he is a boy, so things are easier for him than for a girl.
Wish you good luck!
yes i ll fight definetly…but from now on her father is trying to fixed a boy for her..and asking her to continue further studies as he has a doubt on me..but we cant disclose now as we are not in a age of marriage..but on the other hand we want him to not to think for her marriage…atleast till her studies gets over….at that time we can also disclose about us..but we cant say now as her father will take all her freedom away from her ..and that would be disadvantages point for us.
The bolded statements (by Admin) are all true in most cases. Even in the case of Rabia above, she converted the Hindu and she married to a “Muslim.” This is what Hindu community knows that Muslim will not rest till they convert the “Hindu.” Yes, “love jihad” is a loosely used term but that is used for people convert Hindus using love as a tool. Prove them wrong in your case that you are not a “love jihadi.”
Are you saying “she can remain a hindu even after marriage”? Really? Don’t blame others for believing what they believe but blame it on Koran 2:221. However, we do agree that not all Muslim follow 2:221, like Saif Ali Khan and Shah Rukh Khan. Are you saying you will marry her as a “Hindu” and will never convert her? If yes, then talk to your parents that you will not have Nikaah (because it expect conversion) but wish to marry a “Hindu.” Let us know what they say.
once i will get stand..my family will have no issues regarding my marraige.its my life and i have the right to choose it…my family will have to accept her beacuse she is my life..i may die without her…rabia can you tell me is ur husband a muslim now?
Dear Aryan,
We have this web site since 2009 and have consulted some 1100 youths like you. One major issue with youths is they underestimate their parents and community. Do not be under a wrong impression about “my family will have no issues regarding my marraige.its my life and i have the right to choose it.” If you don’t want to be specific, ask them a question it is okay if your sister (or cousin) marry to someone not from Islam (and not convert)?
Why you asked, “rabia can you tell me is ur husband a muslim now?” Lets see what Rabia has to say. How that will help you? Hindus know that Muslims (90%+) will not rest till they convert the Hindu lover for marriage. That is what your bf’s parents are concerned about. Are you any different?
I agree with Admin that you (Aryan) may be underestimating the family & society right now. Don’t be under the assumption that this will be an easy battle. Right now, since you say you are young, your family may seem OK with accepting anybody, especially since you’re a boy and have it easier than girls.
Unless your family is open-minded and liberal, they will certainly have some issues with you bringing home a Hindu girl. It’s like that in every community, not just Muslims or Indians. Everyone prefers to have a daughter/son-in-law of their own caste/creed and this is how it is everywhere, even in Europe. It simplifies things in the future.
Try to test the waters and maybe ask your parents casually one day if they would accept someone from a different religion. It works differently for girls, so if you ask about your sisters, they will object to an outsider for sure. You have more freedom as a boy in India. It is your life, in the end you can do what you want. Just be realistic about your own family. I know many modern families in India so nowadays intermarriage is easier than before. But again, I don’t know your family so it’s hard to give advice.
And just to respond to Admin’s statement “Hindus know that Muslims (90%+) will not rest till they convert the Hindu lover for marriage”, I understand that this may be happening in India, especially with Muslim men approaching Hindu girls. But it’s unfair for some people (to his credit, Admin hasn’t done this, but many others I’ve seen on the website have said these exact things) to say that they are doing it “to increase the population of Muslims” & “make India an Islamic country”, like some people have commented on this website on other threads.
What nonsense… Can you imagine a super diverse place like India ever becoming an Islamic country, no matter how many people may become Muslim? Even the Indian Shia & Sunni populations would never agree on this!!! They enjoy practicing their own family law now, and occasionally make noise about things, but in the end everyone benefits from secular governance.
They really don’t need to convert new people to increase the Muslim population with the amount of children that Muslims are already having… So people need to stop getting paranoid. India will always be what it is – a secular democracy.
Why convert – because for a nikkah this is a requirement. Many people will say the Shahadah, do the nikkah with their Muslim partner and never be expected to follow any teachings of Islam ever again. I know of inter-faith couples who have agreed to do this to please their partners or their families.
I don’t see people objecting to Christian church weddings, Hindu wedding rituals, Arya Samaj weddings, Sikh temple weddings… So why pick on the Islamic nikkah? If interfaith couples want to celebrate both traditions, you cannot single out the nikkah and say that “this is bad, nobody should be doing that”. It’s up to the couple to decide what they want to do. Which is why I always say that honest conversations are needed between couples before this can happen. If your spouse is religious, they need to be open with you about expectations after the conversion. For some, it’s just a ritual. For others, it’s a lifestyle change. And no lifestyle change should be imposed on anyone.
I don’t believe in forced conversions, as those are completely unIslamic and go against the teachings of my faith. Muslims can be quiet ignorant about this, so they think it’s OK & that they are doing a service to God, but forced conversions are NOT OK.
But if you are having an interreligious marriage and expect your spouse to have a Hindu ceremony, in which they temporarily become Hindu, it’s quite hypocritical to criticize when a Muslim will want to have an Islamic wedding ceremony as well.
Rabia, check our replies at your post https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=10981#comment-383572
Dear Aryan,
You asked the question on many people’s minds, and this is the only question that I have refused to answer when asked about it on this website for various reasons 🙂 Unlike a few years ago, I now don’t feel the need to prove anything to anyone to get their approval, so let them think whatever makes them happy.
Allah’s approval is more than enough for me, and my wedding wouldn’t have happened if He hadn’t sanctioned it, because I always asked God to guide me rightly and make the right decision when it came to my love story.
It’s impossible for close-minded people who think in black & white terms to understand the depth of God & faith.
The short answer is that as Admin also explained, we had a nikkah done, so yes, technically I did marry a “Muslim”.
The long answer is….well, wait for the book!
For me, even though I may not be a perfect Muslim (who on earth actually is?) it was very important to have a legitimate marriage performed by an Imam. If I was a little less “Muslim” myself, like many people where I come from are, I would have been OK with just a court marriage the way Suzanne Khan & Hrithik Roshan did. I actually don’t know anyone else in my circle of Muslim friends (except some conservative extended family members) who have done a nikkah when getting married. Everyone just registers in court nowadays. We are too secular-minded to care about a religious marriage, unlike most Indian Muslims for whom nikkah is a must…
So the answer to the million dollar question of whether my husband is Hindu or Muslim or something else – we’ll leave that one unanswered for now.
Rabia,
Our replies at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=10981#comment-383572
Hi Aryan,
Yes, we could help you stepwise. For your privacy, we have removed your last name. We love your ideologies, great!
Can you ask the girl to come to this site https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11263 and tell us why people said “they said very few muslim are good not all”? Tell her to list 5 items and we will help you to explain it to her that you are not the one they think.