RIYA says: August 11, 2020
Hi
I love a Hindu Guy who is ready to revert to Islam. But my parents are against our marriage and they are so stubborn that I am helpless. We know each other from last 5 years, we are financially independent. His mother is ready to accept our relationship.
My parents are building pressure on me to marry any guy from our community. I asked them about the issue with my boyfriend and the answer was we have to live in this society and we can’t make it happen even if he reverts. Please help me. -Ria
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Hello,
I am a 23 year old Muslim girl in USA(Indian) and I love a Hindu boy from India. I know him since my 12th grade and in a relationship for the past 3 years. My family moved to the US 7 years ago.
I am not a very religious person. I believe in one god and respect all religions. I am financially independent and I live by myself and can even take of another person. The person I love is also 23, a graduate and is working right now. I don’t know how to convince my parents. Even though I am independent I am scared and stressed about this situation. My parents are not the 5 times praying muslims or very very religious people but when it comes to topics like these they would talk like it is against Allah and the religion also they would ask how can we ever go back to our country and show them our faces.
My parents till now have no idea that I am in a relationship now. I am really scared and stressed about this whole situation. My partner is also not a very religious person and is ok to convert as the last option to convince my parents. His family is happy with us. We will live in the US after marriage
Dear Riya,
Your question is “How to make your father understand and make him bless your marriage with a Ex-Hindu husband who is ready to converted to Islam to make you happy?”
The Answer is simple, It is only you who can make it happen, if at all possible.
You have spent the most time with your parents. And therefore, there is no one but you is in the most tactically better position to negotiate with your father. You know your own cultural and religious roots better than others.
You are suggesting that your father is putting so called “status in society” ahead of his daughter’s wish. At the same time the parents of your BF are putting their children’s wish ahead of everything and are even prepared to accept everything including conversion to make you and him happy. May be you should ponder upon as to why is it so. You are the better judge about love for children vs honor in society.
You are intellectual and have ability to plan your future for the best of everybody under the circumstance. One cannot have all the wishes to come true.
At your adult age, you can sure figure out on your own about the best available way for planning best possible future scenarios as follows:
1). Father does not approve the union.
2). Raising children under best environment
3). Best possible adult and independent life under the circumstance.
One thing I can tell you is that Hinduism is not a religion in traditional sense that applies to Christianity and Islam which mandate the strict commands from a holy book for the daily life of the followers. The religious preachers/mullahs act like a commanding officers. Hindu civilization has an open architectural structure of living from ancient time and it allows to read library of books and to choose the path of living as a normal human being. Humans are social animal by nature. Hindus not just tolerate other faiths, but they go out of their way to pay due human respect to people of all faiths.
INVESTIGATE ON YOUR OWN AND BRAVELY CHOOSE THE BEST AVAILABLE PATH FOR YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND.
Wish you the best married life.
Riya, you and your BF are:
1. Financially independent
2. BF’s parents are accepting you
Openly talk to BF’s parents, other elders from BF’s side and if everyone is welcoming you… both of can simply plan to move into in-laws house… take help of HR, women’s groups, friends, relatives… as many as possible… make it a grand public event… period.
About your parents they will come around… else both you & BF should stay far away in a different city/country with a different IDs to prevent honour killing in the future… also take legal support if needed.
Dear Riya, thank you for reaching out to us. What ever you do, make a fully informed decision. Do not get into emotions but keep your head clear and focused on your life goals.
Since you asked this personal question in public, it is possible someone may come here and starts bashing you. To be successful in an interfaith married life, consider it as a good life lesson. Your privacy is hidden so he/she cannot hurt you personally, unless you decide to take it internally. For your planned interfaith married life, to a nasty comment, learn to smile and move on.
Parents are not going to be happy unless you settled for their own pick. Even you pick another born Muslim, they will bring up new set of issues, like Shia or Sunni, rich or poor, religious or not enough, tall or short, etc. Anyways, that is not an option for you now, unless you are ready to dump your love to please your parents.
Can you eloborate on “we have to live in this society”? How much your life as of now is in line with expectations of the society? This 5 years of dating is against Koran 24:30. Are you performing namaz 5 times a day? Do you believe this world was made in 7 days and Darvin’s law of evaluation is wrong? Do you truly believe in Judgment day and that all kafirs will get hellfire? Are others those in the “society” truly living their life by what they are preaching?
Let us tell you a story: There was a rat with 7 tails. People tease him so he cut one. People kept teasing for having 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 and even 1 tail. He wanted to please them so he cut the last one too. People still keep teasing that this rat has no tail. Moral of the story: You cannot live your life to please the society.
We have noticed that in almost all cases, parents will be against the interfaith couple. However, once they realised that you are already married, then they will stop complaining. Once you give them a grandkid, they will totally turn around. So, this is a short term issue.
You appears to be highly educated and financially independent. We recommend that you (Riya) do that is logical and rational and not to please others. What would you do if Allah Himself was right in front of you? Do exactly that way.
A few questions. We do not know which country are you from. If India or where you have to live with in-laws, will you be comfortable living with Hindus (kafirs??)? Your husband may be open minded, is his extended family and society open minded to accept you as is? If you perform namaz in their Hindu home on the Diwali day, will they be okay for it? You said “His mother is ready”, how about father? Go and spend 6 hours in their home without your boy friend around. Find out facts first hand rather than living in a dream.
We do not mean to scare you but we want to be a realist. Do keep in touch for more questions. Best wishes.