Hadija says: February 12, 2013 at 5:56 am
I was raped as a child, so am not a virgin. Which Muslim man will ever want to marry me?
I am a Muslim girl. Today I am 25. I have lost my virginity when I was a kid because I got raped but nobody knows that. I got a boyfriend who used me and no body will believe if I tell them how that man used me because I was stupid. I believed him, I know everything is my fault.
I was in relation with my boyfriend. I was not in love with him. I just felt sorry for him because he liked me, so I wanted to make him happy by being with him. But I felt disgusting and kept everything in myself, because whole life I felt that no body cared for me so I wanted to care for someone. I felt like nobody in my life will want me so I gave myself, being used. I know it is wrong…..what to do?
But I feel like no man will accept me because I don’t have my virginity and that feeling that girls feel when they lose their virginity. I really miss that. I never got that feeling, during my childhood I was thinking that I will never get marry because I was not virgin. Whole my life that is issue following me. I tried to commit suicide but I was not so strong to kill myself. What to do people any solution.
I can’t get over it, I study hard keep myself busy. I try to never lie. I have even thought to get an operation to restore my hymen so I can get that feeling being clean or something I did not did that, it is just mentally satisfaction. I was thinking of telling me people what is to do. I afraid tooo much. Just help and say something, thanks for your time.
I really have to die. I always pray that to Allah since I was kid but inside I want to live and have a life with and be happy. But I feel like I don’t have right to live…what should I? -Hadija
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Admin says: February 12, 2013 at 10:56 pm
Hadija,
You are a victim of this society, not a sinner.
Now you have three choices:
1) Commit suicide and end this life (a good option for a weak minded people)
2) Keep leaving like in hell in THIS life and keep cursing yourself for what is not your fault (the worst option), or
3) Assume you are already dead. Now, ignore every thing that you learned earlier or happened to you and start a brand new life of happiness and success in THIS new life (if you are interested in this option, hang on with us here).
For the option 3 above, assume that you are born today with smile. Believe that this world is the most beautiful place to live, and you are committed to make the most out of it. You are never going to hate yourself, but love. Consider you are God’s blessed daughter. Completely rethink for who that God is who gave you a new life. Is the Allah as described by Mohammad only god? Is Islam right for you, are there any other option? You have spend your whole life in the surroundings you are currently in, get out of it completely and enjoy a brand new life. Probably most non-Muslim guys will accept you as you are, AS IS, why do you care for those who has no respect for what you are?
Let us know which option you wish to consider. Best wishes. -Admin
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Also read: Islamic Women Today, Inter-race marriages, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu girl, Muslim girl, Hindu boy, Muslim boy, Christian-Muslim marriages, Hymen Repair Surgery,
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A black muslim man wanting to marry a Pakistani
To know about hinduism vist
http://www.angelfire.com/journal/wrote/Hinducontents.html a great religion ha ha ha
salam walekum hadija,
i just want to say to you that forget everything as like a bad dream. come on you should stand up now and start a new life.
you were raped that was not your fault and you were also used by a boy that is also not a fault of you.
Everything is having according to god. god treated us. we have to play just a role, but the directer is god.
so live life happily and enjoy the every moment of life. just move on there are many boys, men soon you find a perfect one for you.
Keep Smiling….Always…!
Hi,
I am a black christian and fallen in love with a beautiful Pakistani girl. I am 33yrs and she 28 years, both working in a FMG company in Singapore and close association for the last 2 years.
We have decided to marry and she is ready to convert to Christianity, as she does not like Hijab and other strict restrictions on female in her community. We have sexual relations too and wish to marry soon.
Please guide.
Reply to Taylor at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4437
Hadija,
If you believe in Allah, never commit suicide as it’s among the worst of the sins. Allah is all merciful and would forgive you if you promise to lead a pious life henceforth. With the grace of Allah, you can also find a soul mate who can accept you. But be careful not to follow the path of Muhammad as it will mire you into agony. Leave his cult known today as Islam and have faith in Allah who will take care of you. Start your life over again as if nothing has happened.
Now it’s time for you to get up the next fine morning with a new life, with a new sun ray of hope. This is not the end of the past and start of a future, a new birth to enjoy your life for ever, here and hereafter.
A 13-year-old Yemeni child bride who bled to
death shortly after marriage was tied down and forced to have sex
by her husband, according to interviews with the child’s mother,
police and medical reports.
The girl’s mother, Nijma Ahmed, 50, told the Associated Press that
before her daughter lost consciousness, she said that her husband
had tied her up and forced himself on her. “She looked like she
was butchered,” she said about her daughter’s injuries.
Elham Assi, 13, bled to death hours after she spoke to her mother
and just days after she was married to a 46-year-old man. She
died on April 2 in the deeply poor Yemeni village of Shueba, some
200 kilometers northwest of the capital.
The practice of marrying young girls is widespread in Yemen
where a quarter of all females marry before the age of 15, according
to a 2009 report by the country’s Ministry of Social Affairs.
Traditional families prefer young brides because they are seen as
more obedient and are expected to have more children.
Legislation to ban child brides has been stalled by opposition
from religious leaders. There has been no government comment
over the case.
The girl — one of eight siblings — was pushed into marriage after
an agreement between her brother and her future-husband to
marry each other’s sisters to avoid having to pay expensive
bride-prices — a common arrangement in Yemen, the poorest
country in the Middle East.
According to police notes from the interrogation of the husband,
he was upset because he could not consummate their relationship
and felt under pressure to prove his manhood.
Assi’s mother said she also tried to persuade her daughter to have
sex with her husband so as not to shame the family.
Al-Hikmi took his young bride to a nearby medical clinic, asking
a doctor there to administer her tranquilizers so she would not
resist his advances. The clinic said it refused.
Al-Hikmi then obtained performance enhancing pills, according
to the police interrogation, and that night completed the act while
she screamed.
The next day, he returned to the same medical clinic carrying
Assi because she could not walk.
“I told him not to go near her for at least ten days,” said Dr. Fathiya
Haidar. She said Assi’s vaginal canal was ripped.
A forensic report obtained by the AP showed that Assi’s injuries were
much more extensive, including extensive tearing around the vagina
and rectum, suggesting that there might have been additional
intercourse after the clinic visit.
Her mother said she visited Assi later that day, where she found her
daughter fading in and out of consciousness.
“She whispered in my ear that he had tied her up and had sex with
her violently,” she said. “I said to her husband, what have you done,
you criminal?”
She said al-Hikmi told her that the young bride was just possessed
by spirits and said he would take her to a folk healer to cast them
out. Hours later, Assi was dead.
“She asked me to stay beside her,” her mother said.
The practice of marrying young girls is widespread in Yemen
and has drawn the attention of international rights groups seeking
to pressure the government to outlaw child marriages.
“Early marriage places girls at increased risk of dropping out of school,
being exposed to violence, abuse and exploitation, and even losing
their lives from pregnancy, childbirth and other complications,” said
UNICEF’s regional director Sigrid Kaag, in a statement Wednesday
condemning the death.
A February 2009 law set the minimum age for marriage at 17, but it
was repealed and sent back to parliament’s constitutional committee
for review after some lawmakers called it un-Islamic. The committee
is expected to make a final decision on the legislation this month.
The issue of Yemen’s child brides received widespread attention
three years ago when an 8-year-old girl boldly went by herself to
a courtroom and demanded a judge dissolve her marriage to a man
in his 30s. She eventually won a divorce.
In September, a 12-year-old Yemeni child-bride died after struggling
for three days in labor to give birth, a local human rights organization said.
Associated Press Writer Diaa Hadid contributed to this report from Cairo.
Source: AP
Satsriakal Hadija,
Dont worry.Every thing will be ok in time passes. Forget the past, start a new life.
If possible look for a sikh or Hindu guy, who will love you and accept as it is and treat you like a goddess.
God bless you.
@ Kartar
Why are you running after Muslim girls every where? I find it very funny! WHerever there is a comment of a Muslim girl you suggest her to get married to a Sikh or Hindu! Any specific reason behind that?