Hinu says: March 1, 2012 at 6:55 pm
BEWARE HINDU YOUNG GENERATION… PLEASE DONT DO INTER-FAITH MARRIAGE. YOU WILL SPOIL YOUR LIFE.
Here is my story… .
My husband and I met during our bachelor degree college and we were best friends. He always told me he loves me more 
than his life. I talked to my parents that I want to marry him. My parents maturely react to me. They make me understand many times that this relationship won’t work as he is Christian and don’t trust whatever he says.
My husband used to talk big things about the richness of his family and his parents although it was totally lie. He used to make stories and I always believe in him because when you are in love with someone you always believe him moreover you lose the ability to differentiate the trust because ‘love is blind’.
We had lot of problem in getting married and my husband even told me once that he may get converted into Hinduism. He was ready to do anything for our marriage. My husband got US visa so he told me he will go to US only if I marry him so I converted into Christianity in Rs. 20 stamp paper and I married to him without informing my family and he went USA.
My elder sister did arrange marriage and marry in the same cast. She had problem in her marriage life. My parents told me that we are totally oppose to allow me to marry any Christian guy and my sister already had problem in her marriage life so if I will have problem in marriage life in future then they will be in lot of pain. Still I didn’t convinced by them.
My parents got to know that I got married, they didn’t said me anything instead when my husband came back from USA my parents had little function and I moved to my husband’s family.
Now my life changed from here…..
There are lot of bad experience happened to me every day but let me describe some of them.
He took me every Sunday to church and we sat there almost two hours. Even I never went to temple and had puja for two hours but still for his love I did everything he said. Once on New Year I asked him to go temple and he refused. He is scared that if his mom knows then she feels bad. HE LOVE ME MORE THAN HIS LIFE HOW COME HE SAID NO TO JUST SPEND HIS 15 MINUTS IN TEMPLE?
There are lots of small things which I feel shy to write down. One year I lived with his family and almost each day I cried. He didn’t allow me to either go to my friends or my parents’ home. I have to go everywhere with him else I am not allowed to go. I never dare to take murti (idol) of Lord to his home. He like me to wear western clothes to do show off that he is very global and free but his mind is sick.
During fight he told me that he hates Hindus. I asked him why did you marry hindu girl then he said it’s good to convert any hindu girl into Christianity. During fight if I don’t convinced by him than he started hitting himself and even he hit me twice. We were immigrated to Canada so I was waiting for the day to go out of India and get divorce.
Today I’m in Canada and whenever I talk to him for divorce, he fight with me and started hitting him and said me to first kill him and then go. I don’t want to be reason for someone’s suicide so I am still with him. I don’t want kids because by default our kids will be Christian. According to him, its sin in Christianity to take divorce on the other hand he can hit his wife.
Still my parents dont know anything about my bad life. I always pretend them that I am very happy. I dont want to see them sad.
Indian Christians has created their own rules and created their own weird religion which they says Christianity.
My life is so precious. I was very happy in my life but one sick Christian family has devastated it.
I dont know who is admin of the site, but thanks for creating this site and giving awesome replies.
Admin says:
Hello Hinu,
Sorry to hear of your ordeal. Thank you for speaking out! We hope you have someone to help you in this difficult time.
It is not necessarily a religion or interfaith marriage to be blamed here, but youths have to learn to look for warning signs of a religious fanatic.
Your husband is clearly a Love-Proselytizer and a Love-Jihadi. He (and his family) had no interest in a “Hindu” wife. If you want to save your marriage and want them to start loving you dearly, you have to: 1) start believing that Hindus are idol-worshipers and that 2) all Muslims, Jews and Hindus-including Mahatma Gandhi, will go to the hell (on the Judgment day) because they have not accepted that Jesus is the true savior.
If you want to understand mindset of your husband, Molly or McKenna, you have to read “Bible on Hindus?”
He hit you twice. This is against laws of any country. Tell him not to touch you again otherwise you will report it to the Canadian police who will arrest and deport him to India. Your citing on this web site about hitting you will serve as some proof of his prior behaviour.
At this stage, please do these:
1a) In spite all these, he seems like a good guy and truly loves you. Unfortunately he is under too much influence of his fanatic mother in India. Try to help him to change his fanatic thinking. Lets hope other Christians will comment on this post to give you tips on how to teach him to be a good Christian. If you could remove the satan in his head, it will be a win-win for all. 1b) Tell him that divorce is a reality unless he changes soon. 1c) Even he turns around, don’t plan a child for at least 5 years. 1d) Even if you plan for a child(ren), just for an insurance, make him sign and notarized this document that “We both agreed that we will not baptize our child(ren) till his/her age of 21. At that time, the child(ren) will decide of his/her own religious fate. Further, our contract signed on XXYYZZ date on Rupees 20 stamp is null and void effective today.” After that, in line with the main message of this web site, enjoy your Interfaith Marriage with EQUALITY.
2) If above don’t work out, take a divorce and start a brand new life again.
What ever you decide to do, be honest and tell your parents all facts today. Every one makes mistake. Your parents truly love you and they are waiting to help you. They already know what is going on. They will be happy to have their daughter back. You seem well educated, why will you want to waste your life with a religious fanatic?
Come to think of DIVA, she declined baptism just for marriage and that was a smart move.
You have signed a legal document on a Rupees 20 stamp, probably with your photo and notarized. View a similar document here (India and USA). Legally, you are a Christian. If you take a divorce after having a child, you will not win a child custody case. If you die today without a will, you will be buried as per Christian rites (even after divorce). If you re-marry to a non-Christian your new marriage may be invalid as per Indian laws. If these are not your intentions, you will have to formally convert to Hinduism and legally document it. Best wishes.
Readers, here a former-Hindu named Hinu married to a Christian. Her husband believes that it is sin to be a part of Garba dance, sin to eat prasad and sin for Christians to enter a Hindu temple; however on the other side, even he hates Hindus he dated a Hindu girl, he made her lie to her parents, believes that it’s good to convert any Hindu girl into Christianity, under love-pressure made her change her religion against her wishes, does not allow a Hindu God in their home, made her sit in a church for hours and now physically hurting her. If he has done all these to follow God’s commandments, one has to wonder what kind of God he is following? Is there any one who could understand Hinu’s husband’s (as she put it) “weird religion?”
To other youths: The BBS (here baptism) is not a hollow ritual devoid of meaning. Don’t mix love and religious conversion. Do not BBS unless your primary intention is to change a religion. The BBS just for marriage will cost you a lot, like Hinu is now suffering. Like what Diva did, the “No BBS” is the best insurance against a Love Jihadi [also read Anu, Intolerant?, FAQ, Rebecca, Vineeta].
To parents: If your son or daughter married in a church or had an Islamic Nikaah, it is likely that he/she may have taken baptism/shahadah religious conversion. Do not underestimate religious conflicts that is going on in their married life, even he/she may keep telling you, like Hinu, that “I am very happy.” To make you happy, he/she may be suffering.
To all wonderful and loving Christians: This Canadian Christian-Christian marriage is in trouble. Without your help, a divorce is eminent. Thought the guy may be a good human being and loves her, he is under too much influence of her fanatic mother who is in India. Please give Hinu tips on how to make her husband a true Christian. Please post this link on your church’s web site and ask others to teach this guy Jesus’ real message of – Love thy Neighbors.
To readers, what would you tell to Hinu? What would you do if your daughter (or sister) is in Hinu’s situation? Hinu baptized for her loved one, was it a true love or a mistake? How would you define Interfaith Marriages with Equality? Express your views here.
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Hinu says: March 12, 2012 at 10:17 am
Dear Admin,
I appreciate for your reply and your precious time for giving me such a good suggestion. This website is really good source of knowldge and you are doing good. Yes I am well educated (still became fool). I am a software engineer. Could you please tell me that how can I again get converted into Hinduism and can I do this from Canada? Thanks. -Hinu
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Hinu says: August 27, 2013 at 8:15 am
Dear Admin, Just wanted to inform you that I got divorced from my husband. -Hinu
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No Hindu girl can spend her life with a Muslim boy
Hinu, (not sure if you still visit this site as this seems like an old post from 2012),
It upset me a lot to read of your story from hell. I am sorry to say this but your husband is a fake or a very very ignorant Christian, one who doesn’t know the first thing about being a real Christian and Christian/Jesus’ values of compassion, love and kindness. What he did with you, leading you on like that and playing with your mind, and then emotionally torturing you by putting such restrictions, then finally raising his hand on you…none of this is “Christian” in any way.
I don’t know what happened after you shared your story here, but I hope that either he has changed and improved his behaviour, or that you have courageously left him.
No girl, from any culture/religion, should be mistreated like this.
I do understand what made you write “BEWARE HINDU YOUNG GENERATION… PLEASE DONT DO INTER-FAITH MARRIAGE. YOU WILL SPOIL YOUR LIFE.” but honestly this is not a issue in the Hindu community alone. Many other girls, such as Muslim & Christian girls are also going through similar stories to yours, with people from another religions. I recently came across a Hindu young man on this forum, and his story was that he was boasting very proudly of putting a condition on his Pakistani Muslim girlfriend that she had to convert to Hinduism. He initially did it as a reaction to her wishes that he become Muslim, so I understand that reactionary attitude, but then if you saw his post, you’d see how he calls himself “proud Indian son of the soil” and stuff like that, and he is very proud of himself for having converted one Muslim girl to Hinduism, and encourages others to do the same.
This, ironically, is also love-jihad, the term that Admin and others use to describe what Muslims (or Christians) do to their spouses. The story I mentioned above is not a one-off incident, one of my close friends recently went through a horrible breakup of a relationship of 10 years where her Sikh Punjabi MIL-to-be basically did her best to prevent her son from marrying this girl…and she finally succeeded.
Youths in love should be very careful and get to know each other well & each others’ families well before taking a risky step. Yours was one very sad and unsuccessful marriage story, but there are others out there which are happy marriages and successful ones. What’s important is to make an informed decision and know when to be strong & when to walk out, which may be what’s needed in your sad case.
May God/Allah help you with your ordeal, and I hope things have changed for the better since 2012. Stay strong & have faith, most importantly in yourself.
Rabia.. you know the problem is with you. You are knowingly slently and technically forcing others that only Allah is present, infact other oldest religion present prior to Abraham religion, I have noticed most of time you mentioned GOD/Allah, it means you only believe that there is only Allah and there is no other word like GOD (English name). You should mention either GOD OR Allha or Bhagwan..
You said example of Hindu boy forcing a muslim women, that i prove you that you are wrong on all side. Check Quora.com and see how much Hindu girl marrying a muslim man and converting islam.. Because Hindu Girls are stupid and fooled in this world, they never ever have experience in religion during their child age like muslim and Christianism, they never read Gita, Veda which are really useful and way of life. But sudden when they marry to other faith perosn, they forced, I sad forced to convert and force to read Quran and I have seen they became radical muslim compare to a by-born muslim. Thats my point.
reply please.
Krish,
I will answer your questions one by one so it’s easier to read.
1) You wrote: ” I have noticed most of time you mentioned GOD/Allah, it means you only believe that there is only Allah and there is no other word like GOD (English name). You should mention either GOD OR Allha or Bhagwan..”
I usually use the word God when I talk to foreigners about my faith when they ask me questions, I use the word Allah here on this forum because everyone understands what Allah means. I am a Muslim who believes in God/Allah or whatever else you want to call it, so why would I call it Bhagwan? You are focusing on technicalities and missing the point. Do YOU ever call your God/Gods by the name “Allah”? I know you are made to sign “Ishwar Allah tera naam” in school but I don’t see many Hindus – actually I don’t see any Hindus – around me who believe it’s all the same God.
I reaffirm that I believe in one universal power called God and not what most Hindus today worship as God. I heard there is a group in Hinduism called Arya Samaj who doesn’t believe in other gods/idols – and that’s similar to my belief. “Members of the Arya Samaj believe in one God and reject the worship of idols.”
2) You wrote: “…they never read Gita, Veda which are really useful and way of life. But sudden when they marry to other faith perosn, they forced, I sad forced to convert and force to read Quran and I have seen they became radical muslim compare to a by-born muslim. Thats my point.”
I have read Gita and some of the Vedas and found them to be very good knowledge, full of life lessons. SImilarly, the Qur’an and Bible and Torah and other books also contain similar messages meant to guide the society they were sent to. If you had read my earlier statements from 1-2 years ago, I specifically raised a question (I still don’t have a very convincing answer to this by the way), “why can’t Hindus be people of the book when they have amazing knowledge like Rig Vedas?” I am not your typical Muslim, brother. So stop with the accusations that I’m the problem – you are part of the problem for not realising how diverse the Muslim community around the world is because you live in India and see only Indian Muslim-related issues…
Also, I absolutely agree with you on the point that some converts go crazy and start becoming radical Muslims.
It’s very sad to see for me, as a born Muslim.
They give the religion and the muslim community a bad name…
One more thing: everything in Islam is meant to be done in moderation. One of my Pakistani friends (who is a religious Muslim) once even told me that if you start praying 6-10 times a day (as opposed to 5 times), that’s also a form of becoming too religious/extreme in your deen and that’s bad.
We always say “everything in moderation” so some of the behaviour you see in some Muslim circles is not recommended at all and actually should be condemned by everyone. It goes against the religion’s teachings..
Thats the point Rabia..
What modernization? Can you give me a single point about Gita/Veda/Puran having different version till date? the answer is BIG NO. Because there are thousand times, our culture and Veda//Gita verified scientifically and proved is that these are way of life. So nothing to modernization. But why Quran requires? thatmeans something went wrong.
I can say you, in west, around 20% population is now Hindu, they never converted by force or money, they converted due to true path of salvation.
Hinduism delivers many ways to human being like Yoga/ meditation/rich culture, sacrifice, love nature (nature is our GOD and without nature human being cant exist), daan, peace, non-violence, tolerance etc.. Hinduism is a most tolerant religion across all religion.
Unlike christianism and Islam, Hinduism never says against other’s faith.
Coming to recent violation across globe, why only muslims are doing? why other faith peoples are not doing?.
Dilip,
I used the word “moderation”, not “modernization” 🙂
I have a question for you. You said: “I can say you, in west, around 20% population is now Hindu, they never converted by force or money, they converted due to true path of salvation.”
I once asked a Brahmin friend about the way Hinduism views conversion into hiduosm and she told me “you cannot convert into Hinduism, you have to be born a Hindu”.
What do you have to say about this view? Let’s assume I – a Muslim- decide that I don’t like Islam anymore and want to follow the Santana Dharma instead… is this going to be accepted by the Brahmins? Would I automatically become a “Hindu” with this?Am I no longer going to be seen as Muslim? What is the view of Hinduism for people who are not Indian-born/Hindu – do we have a chance at salvation if we follow our own religion (Christianity or Islam or judaism or Zoroastrianism etc etc)
I am asking because I genuinely want to learn how this is viewed as I am getting conflicting answers from different people.. maybe Admin or someone else knows, please reply if you do.
Hi Rabia,
There is no response button in your comment,I think you have knowingly did it. Anyway i replied to your previous post. appreciate if you can correlate both the post.
You said:
I used the word “moderation”, not “modernization”, but these two are closed same. not much more wide difference.
Second is you said “I once asked a Brahmin friend about the way Hinduism views conversion into hiduosm and she told me “you cannot convert into Hinduism, you have to be born a Hindu” ”
I am now sure that you are an intelligent women who is acting like a dual face? Please correct me?
Honestly saying, you are actively participating many interfaith discussion in this site but still you are asking this question ““you cannot convert into Hinduism, you have to be born a Hindu” “.
I am asking same question to you. If a Hindu man married to a muslim (in your case may be but I dont know your whereabouts, then does this women still remain muslim?, If no, then your friend is wrong, if yes, then you knows the answer.
Please revert me
Dear Dilip,
If you make assumptions like “There is no response button in your comment,I think you have knowingly did it”, you will only make a fool out of yourself, my friend. I am not the admin of this website so unfortunately I have no control over the format. Maybe even Admin has no control over it. In fact, it has frustrated me a lot in the past as well, the same problem you described about not being able to reply to people’s comments. It’s probably how the website is built, has nothing to do with me.
Secondly, if you are a Hindu and you marry a Muslim, and adopt Islam, you become a Muslim. Christianity and Islam are religions where conversion is encouraged. Judaism isn’t, even though that’s also changing with increasing rates of intermarriage. And what I know of Hinduism is that you have to be born a Hindu, as you are born into a certain caste etc.
You didn’t exactly answer my question, I am confused about your answer. According to Hinduism, how can someone from a different religion achieve salvation/attain moksha?
Are we destined to go to hell or is Hinduism silent on this matter of what happens to non-Hindus when they die?
You are clearly not a scholar of Hinduism, but maybe someone who is well-read about this subject can offer a reply. Or maybe you could can. Looking forward to hearing it!
Rabia and Dilip,
We have set up to 5 reply setting. We can increase it to 10 if helps. When we allow more replies, the format gets smaller and smaller and can be issue viewing on certain media.
Rabia, you can convert to Hinduism, there is no issue. Since your husband converted to your faith and if you wish to reciprocate, that would be a good idea and equality. Many Hare Krishna devotees are converted and your local Arya Samaj can help you. Like talaak in India now, the caste system is people’s minds; it is not valid. Moksha is achieved by your acts and, unlike Islam, one don’t have to be a Hindu to achieve Moksha.
I am Hindu girl and my boyfriend was converted christian , till his college he was hindu and then his whole family was converted to christain… Now their parents are opposing for our marriage hence we both got married in temple providing the documents . Since i didnt get Baptism certificate of my boy friend from church .Now can i get marriage again in church or register office .
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11486
Hi, same happened with me. I am from sikh religion i was teaching in a nursing school 8-9 years ago and i fell in love with a christian guy. But in starting i told him that i can’t change my religion because i love my parents alot and can’t hurt them. He said it’s ok i will never compel you to convert into christian. I told that person i have so many responsibilities so please don’t compel me in this relation. But forcefully he made me agree for marriage. my parents didn’t know that he is christian. I compel my parents and they became agreed for marriage and my bad luck started from that day. My so called husband and his family converted me christian religion. i started to respect that religion. I lived with my parents after marriage because my husband didn’t had his own home. I started to pray according to them by hiding all this from my parents. I told to my parents, he is a hindu. I got a first shock on the 2nd day of my marriage when i came to know he took charas from a hotel attendent where we stayed for honeymoon. But again i forgave that person and tried to improve her. @nd shock i got when i first time went to my in-laws and they were living in a small home alloted by mission because my mother in law was a teacher at catholic school. i accepted that shock. there i came to know my husband is addicted to tobacoo and cigratte also. i made my self strong and thought if i will try he will withdraw all these drugs . But again after a month i went to my parents home at punjab and my husband lived sometimes at uttar pardesh with his parents and sometimes punjab where he worked in many hospitals not more than 3-4 months. We applied for PR of canada. #rd shock i got after 3 years my husband asked me to met his parents at UP. I went with him and there was his aunt who is Nun, she started to teach me don’t go to gurudwara jesus become angry with you. I scared they did some kind of sin acceptence in front of God. She gave me Bible and asked me to read it. I became pregnant in those days. I came back to punjab to live with my parents. Time passed 3 months, then 6 months and then nine. Nobody came to know how is our daughter in law? Doctors adviced me complete bed rest because of some complications of pregnancy but i didn’t stop working because i needed money for my diet, medicine even i paid 12 thousand to taxi per month. But not a single penny spent by husband or his family. My parents don’t like my husband. Iasked my mother in law to come during my delivery , she said ok i will come but nobody came during my delivery and my husband came with no money for delivery he told me some time later, his parents gave him 5 thousand but he spent on buying johnson’s soap, oil, for baby. After delivery his parents came but they stayed in their one relatives home and my husband compeled me to go there because they wanted to see my child. I hired a cab and went to see them and gave them some money because my mother in law went for some lab tests. My sister booked a cab for us when we returned fro there relatives home. I felt very bad they don’t have any love for me and for my child. But i didn’t say anything. After 1 year my husband compeled us to go to their parents home for his sister marriage. we went again same drama they did some to convert my child as a christian. I accepted that but internally i felt very bad. After sometime we got a PR in canada and we needed some money when i asked my husband he said i have nothing, his mother said we don’t have anything and never talk to us about money it raises our blood pressure .Anyways my sisters, parents and me finally arranged money we took money on interest, i took loan from bank, my sister sold their gold. On the other side mother in law passed away. I went their but i didn’t involved in their customes because i was heartly crashed by these people. There was no emotions or feelings. I was feeling like that i am a stranger. 3 sisters of my husband divided every thing of their mother. After 6-7 days when i was coming back my husband’s sister called his father and told him that they are going back today and he said let them go if i want to meet them i will go to Punjab to meet them but it was just a formality i know. after 1 year from that day we got visa of Canada, when we came here he sent my husband in previous clothes not even a single penny he gave. And when we reached in canada my husband started to talk with his father . Now he wants to talk with me and with my son but now my inner conscious died, i don’t have feelings for them . I am living with my husband because i can’t survive here alone . he drinks on saturday , sunday. takes tobacoo daily but i don’t want to stop him because i left every thing on God. Now I am follower of my sikh religion Everyday he discuss about christian , try to dominate me that your religion don’t have these goodness and my religion have so many good things. forcefully tells me stories of jesus but my mind become stiff, there is no influence of his any story. I love God alot. But i have very bad experience of christian religion.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=10824
Dear all, I would like to tell you about my sad marriage.. My name is Shekhar from Bangalore .. I married christian girl 9 months back and dying everyday before marriage we both loved and decided to marry, girl itself took me to all Hindu temples and gained trust and asked to get converted to her christinity for marriage sake just like drama, she does not take seriousaly for life long and promised me that she would come to my religion but I did not accept then she emotionally told that this is only for marriage, not to hurt her parents also blackmailed me that if u do this life long she will be with me and family.
As per her I did we fought whenever her parents called me to church but she convinced its only till marriage and they made everything documented after marriage her parents asked me as father and mother started forcing every Sunday .. Although my wife converting to my relogio. Started listening her parents forced me to come church for parents.
Now she is not ready accept words which she gave before marriage, I’m staying alone with my wife and her also parents stays in same city.. I hate in law behavior they had put conditions that they have taken loan for marriage so we should not do anything for one year (child) so they can take her salary after this they asked to take loan to buy gold her otherwise they will not let her stay with me .. 1st 3 months torchured me every day with multiple reminders the. I got loan and my finance level become wrost and started creating circumstances where I should depend on them after marriage not even single day she came to Hindu temple and called me many times to church even though I don’t like.
Now one side family does not know anything about this even I’m not able to tell if I do these people blackmailing me that they would tell about converted to chrisinity. Now I’m loosing hope on life.. I can’t even take divorce as her father threatened me that he will give police compliant of dowry and her mother harrashment case and my wife suicide plz suggest me one side I have only dad and relatives they stay very far my place ..my dad is very old and can’t work anymore and I’m in the situvation where I’m not able to help him financely and take care of him.
Many times I felt like suicide is best option but my dad nobody there to take care of him and younger sister. My wife does not like family and never come to my house where dad stays.
I’m dying everyday plz tell me if there any way getting out of this hell .my wife does like to give divorce ..give any legal solution is there chances where I can get back to my religion by legal.. Does church take any legal action? If I disobey . never truseted this changing my religion .. We both converted (she converted to Hindu) but not made any documented . marriage also happend in both tradistional.
I really appreciate your ur suggestion to get out of this hell
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=10677
This site is not for any Hindus who seek helps.. This team misleading people by convincing be in christinity so kindly do not take any decision by this site advise..
Dear Admin Team. So far your people are giving appropriate solution to people by supporting Christianity, I have seen most people want to know how to get back to their original religion esepecaily (Hindus)after getting converted to Christianity for marriage shake.you are convincing not to do that.. Do you think they are really converted and believe in god.. Never even after converting also they never stop believing or doing worship in Hindu gods..Hindus never trust getting converted to other religion.. Please help how to get back to their original religion or caste legaly if you aware about it.. Other wise admin should tell people u don’t know how..never convince be in christinity as (christian).. Hindu will never accept your answer.
Dear Admin Team. So far your people are giving appropriate solution to people by supporting Christianity, I have seen most people want to know how to get back to their original religion esepecaily (Hindus)after getting converted to Christianity for marriage shake.you are convincing not to do that.. Do you think they are really converted and believe in god.. Never even after converting also they never stop believing or doing worship in Hindu gods..Hindus never trust getting converted to other religion.. Please help how to get back to their original religion or caste if you aware about it.. Other wise admin should tell people u don’t know how..never convince be in christinity as (christian).. Hindu will never accept your answer..
Dear admin,
My story is same as hinu. And i am seeking a proper solution. I am with a kid.
I met my boy friend thru one of my friends – a girl. Everyone including me thought they were thick friends. Even they declared they were friends. But they had a secret physical relationship. But my boyfriend cheated on her and fell in love with me. That girl attempted suicide but he denied his relationship with her. She was hospitalised and he had sex with her in the hospital after falling in love with me on my birthday night. I dint know all this and was under the impression that she was just jealous and possessive about her friend. Like wat he projected it to me. Then he completely avoided her and was enjoying the fresh chapter with me.
After a few months he disclosed that the truth with that girl. I fought with him and left him. He attempted suicide andwas behind me for months. I went back to him impressed by his drama and believed that there’s only one love in my life and thats him. He claimed out of his age and sex urge he made a mistake but he loves only me truly.
The love life for 7 yrs went on. Both parents opposed. Later his parents were ready to get us married if i get baptized, which i was not ready for.my boy friend totally understood my points but cudnt convince his parents for having a marriage without conversion. My parents were totally against. As years went , i got frustrated abt not getting married to him. He slowly brainwashed me that our marriage will be easier if i got baptized atleast for his parents sake. And i got baptized without my parents knowledge jus like a fool to get married to him. I had a church wedding. Now its been 3 years since we got married and there had been lots and lots of arguements and fights to claim my rights for equality or freedom to practice hinduism and celebrate hindu festivals. I tried explaining logically, practically, lovingly, to him and to his parents. Nothing worked. During my pregnancy period also i had this pressur
I was at my parents place for around a year at the time of birth of my baby boy, due to this friction and stated that i wud not get back until the issues are solved. He didnt even visit my place even to see the baby. However he made his prescence at the time of birth but still behaved indifferently to me.
Later He kept convincing me over the phone to come back and live and lets not abt religion saying love is important than anything else. After i got he was kind of loving and din make any issues as far as i am concerned but still showed that he’s upset abt me going to temples and now recently there came up a big arguement that our son shud not be exposed to hinduism. Also From the beginning he keeps insulting my parents as they r financially very weak. Now again i have come to my parents place because it gets so messy to fight in front of the 1.9 year old kid. He becomea violent and the kid gets terrified seeing us.
I left the house leaving a note that i wud never come back until i get my rights. He got angry and didnt contact me for about a now.
And then came the next shock. I came to know from my friend that he was trying to flirt with her on fb chats during late nights in abscence. I felt yuckkkkk.. Am social and open. He imposes a lot of rules over me. But he poses himself so conservative and still does al this. So i think there must be many other secret chats that i wud never ever come to know about. How do i trust him that he’s not cheating on me seriously.
His earnings are sufficient to run a family with the kid. He doesnt allow me to work as i have to leave my kid with my mom where he wud get influenced. FYI my kid is also baptized.
With all this.. Shud i divorce him. I feel so. But what happens to my kid’s future. If living with him is a considerable option i want myself andmy kid to practice hinduism equal to christianity. We both are baptized. Is there any legal way to get out of it. Will i have the full power over my son’s conversion to hinduism.
ee are married for 15 years then my husband decided for an divorce thru phone only. Then after four days i found out that he baptized being a muslim what can i do or our rights as his family? Please help me
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=10099
What religion was your husband? And do you mean he became Muslim? And what is your current position?
Hi,
Am facing a similar problem but I have not married yet. I know my boyfriend since school.he proposed me 3 yrs back.I said I wouldn’t convert to Christian and nobody should force me to do it. He said OK for everything.I introduced him to my family and my family accepted him even after knowing that he is a Christian as he was a good guy. He loves me too much and even I do.he discussed with his family about the marriage. He are completely oppsing until I get convert.my parents r also not OK withme getting convert. We go to chruch as we accept all religion as one.
But now a days he has completely changed. He is not talking to me and he says he should marry me but should live our lives without interfering in each others wishes. The doesn’t want to have kids as they will be religion less. He wants to marry me just for namesake.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t like the concept of conversion I respect all religion.I told him to make kids to Christian. He says both parent has to be a Christian to make the kid Christian.
Am totally confused and in too much grief as I can’t imagine of loosing him.
Please somebody help as what I should do.
Is it necessary for the mother to be a Christian to make the kid Christian?
Please help.
Reply to this post at: https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=9767
Vanitha.. I was feeling the same before marriage. I am married to a christian as well. Baptized. Even if he doesnt baptise and marries you… I am assuring that it will be hell. Ypu already have seen his changes sp far. Am in the verge pf divprce. My husband also dis the same drama. He attemptd suicide to marry me. Now he drinks often, doesnt show interest in building a career, flirts with other women and still argues that follpqing hinduism is a sin.
Pls don’t marry to Catholic. I ruined my 7 yrs of life.
Pls Pls girls n even boys don’t get emotional Fool on the words.
I don’t hate religion but I hate this type of people who force other to this all. Infact they are bug sinners and they will only go to hell.
Hey Hinu,
I notice it has been 3 years before you post this. But please don’t confuse religious/emotional abuse with faith. As a Christian and having been and seen religious trauma, hopefully this makes sense to you.
I hope you converted not to please him or his family, but because you sincerely believe in Christianity. By conversion, I mean you are 100% Christian and 0% Hindu so you only practice Christianity. This does not mean I am not going to visit or love my Buddhist and Atheist relatives (after all, they are my relatives by birth), but it means I don’t follow their religious practices at all. (So usually we have lunch and hang out).
However, what you have been encountering seems to be a case of people mixing their issues with families and/or religious communities and projecting these issues through religion, which is different from faith itself. For example, I have Christian friends who will say no to zumba and yoga because to them, zumba moves are too sexy and seductive, and yoga connects to philosophies of other religions. However, I also have Christian friends who have no problems doing zumba or yoga, as they focus on celebrating their beauty with the “sexier” moves, and instead focus and think of the Christian God when they do yoga. So even Christians come in varieties, and I know a lot of Chinese Christians who still celebrate traditions such as Chinese New Year, they just don’t worship Buddhist idols as it is not their faith.
So it appears to me that it is a matter of religious trauma that you have. Unfortunately, some people can use religion to emotionally abuse, which is sad and traumatizing since you endure all the craziness of it and it is justified wrongly through religion. Some examples are here: http://www.marydemuth.com/spiritual-abuse-10-ways-to-spot-it/. Personally, it as a Christian, everyone is a sinner or imperfect, and to use the Bible to justify their behavior is abusive and sad.
I hope you are in a better place now! Remember, there is a big difference between a healthy faith and religious trauma!
Dear Admin ,
Im in the same situation of Hinu.. our relationship started in 2005 , but i know him from school days . Once i was crazy on him and he was completely taking care of me … He is an christian , and from a hindu family. When we are in love once he came with me to the temple and told me he is scared of idols. So i made a self introspection , and told him lets us end our relationship so that both of us will not get hurted.. but he started to cry and emotionally blackmailing me that he ll talk to my parents, which i dnt want to happen , all of a sudden I got a job in MNC as a Hr professional and moved on to another state for training . After completing my training I came back . When he came to know that im back .. he started to torture me to love him. I told my parents and even they spoke with their parents .. all of a sudden his parents called me and cried, which I cant bear, his dad told me that he will die by making an accident with entire, which made me really scared . As for him I should not talk with any guys even from work they should not call me after 6 or leave days for any enquiries , not to wear any modern dress, travel which is also a part of my work. He forced me to go to church , and be there , but i said i cant be here for 2 hours. he said ok.. slowly he pestered me for marriage and eventually i accepted and everything happened as per their wish and desire . now its been 3 months after our .. now he is in abu dhabi, … My in laws knows only bible and they dont want me to go temple and use bindi or eyeliners , they are not even allowing me to go relatives marriage. For my cousin sister marriage they were keep on telling me that , we are not supposed to go to temple , and they even told my father , So I went to my parents place a week before the marriage. and took part in it , which they dnt like . When i told my husband I want to here for another week he said NO.. U have to go back and started use filthy words, which i never expected.wen i spoke with him that i want to be myself , and go to temple he refused and told me that im having affair with some one.
How can I make him understand religion is nothing when it comes to life .
The best part is My MOTHER IN LAWS relatives are HIndus , who believe in Idol worship, but now my inlaws are trying to convert them to Christanity, which they dnt like and they are not ready to speak against them thats the problem . If there is any problem arises my inlaws steps in and keeps on talking about chirstanity which they dnt like.. I even heard that for marriages or conversion they are giving money and even they have targets to convert more.
When I told my Inlaws about converting people for chirstanity is gullible they told my husband that IM A SATAN.
Now Tell me wat i have to do .. still he is emotionally black mailing.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=8098
hey hinu,
would love to get an update on ur life….i have a similiar situation…i just want to tell u all christians are not like tht…my fiance is gujarati hindu..an i look forward to dancing garba every year….and im a south indian christian…we enjoy gujarati culture togthr..he comes to church wid me too….it all depends on the guy….u jus married the wrong guy…things can work out in inter religion…u jus hav to find the right guy and see through them
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=6662
hi i am a christian guy and inlove with a hindu girl
she doesnt want to changer her religion and neither do i
she tried church but doesnt feel it..
she wants to have two wedding and we both follow our different faith
Is getting married in a hindi wedding against christanity
she feels if i cant compromise both weddings then we must end the relationship
please give me the truth and advice
is me the husband also getting married the hindi way against christ?
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=5396
We stumbled over here different web address and thought I might as well check things out.
I like what I see so now i’m following you. Look forward to looking at your web page again.
Dear friends,
Iam also suffering from same prblm like hinu. i have to know hw to convert from roman cathalic into hindu..In future if i have childrens they also become roman cathalics? pls gve rly to my mail..
Can you elaborate more why you want to “convert from roman cathalic into hindu”? Do not jump from a frying pan to fire. Tell us what you don’t like about practices in your current faith. Tell us how much do you know about Hinduism that you think it is better than your current faith? Don’t rush into any conclusion out of frustration, but take time to understand and read about both faiths, then make fully informed decision.
Not that we are recommending, but answer to your question is to reach out to any Arya Samaj or Hare krishma temple for guidance. There is a guy who offered to help on this web site earlier, reach him at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=1941&cpage=1#comment-31436
Is your decision due to your love-affair with a Hindu?
Hi,
I am back after sometime……to see what is cooking here among few ignorant people.
Admin……As usual, i have the same problem with you as earlier…why dont you educate yourself and learn about religions like Hinduism, Christianity and Islam. Seriously, it will help you in giving better advise to people or simply shut up or just give them general advise rather then telling them what different religions teach…..You are not qualified…First point is that there are 700 sects in Christianity and they believe in different things, not all believe in Jesus is God or trinity secondly Muslims also believe in Jesus as prophet of God. hence your assumptions are not correct.
Hi, I am Sumanth, 24, from a Hindu Brahmin family. It’s been two years since I came to love Jesus as my Lord, and I WANT TO GET BAPTIZED and commit my life to Him (of my own free will). Going forward, I would prefer to marry a Christian because I would like to spiritually grow together. I would like my kids to know Jesus (but they are free to choose). My parents have always encouraged me in matters of faith and will stand by my decision.
I would like to know what difficulties may arise if I get baptized –
1. Can I get baptized and still legally be a Hindu? I am proud of my Hindu roots and ancestry
2. What all possible problems can there be in marriage?
Will a Christian family be willing to give their daughter’s hand?
3. I am the only son – how do I perform my parents’ last rites? Do I bury them or cremate them?
If I do Hindu Shraddh according to my parents’ wishes, I will have to bow to Hindu Gods, Priests, etc as part of the ceremony (note – I deeply respect Hinduism) …, but will God forgive me and other Christians understand my dilemma?
I want to go ahead and get baptized, but want to know what challenges may arise.
Reply to Sumanth at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=2511
Sumanth Ji;
What a grave mistake? So you are ready to throw you complete ancestral heritage, cut connection to your Brahmarishi ancestors, disappoint your parents and last but not the least leave a rational system of thought for some revealed religion that only survises by advertisement and scheming.
There are only People of desert in Arabia that have religion, a religion. No one else have created an artificial religion. India does not, China does not nor do African nor did pre-Christian Europe. Whty os it that only people of the Arbdesert have this miserable notion called religion.
Bible says:
The God of the Bible also allows slavery, including selling your own daughter as a sex slave (Exodus 21:1-11), child abuse (Judges 11:29-40 and Isaiah 13:16), and bashing babies against rocks (Hosea 13:16 & Psalms 137:9).
Jesus also promoted the idea that all men should castrate themselves to go to heaven: “For there are eunuchs, that were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are eunuchs, that were made eunuchs by men: and there are eunuchs, that made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.” (Matthew 19:12 ASV) I don’t know why anyone would follow the teachings of someone who literally tells all men to cut off their privates.
And just in case you are thinking that the evil and immoral laws of the Old Testament are no longer in effect, perhaps you should read where Jesus makes it perfectly clear: “It is easier for Heaven and Earth to pass away than for the smallest part of the letter of the law to become invalid.” (Luke 16:17 NAB) There are many more quotes on this topic at my “Do Not Ignore the Old Testament” web page.
In 2 Kings 10:18-27, God orders the murder of all the worshipers of a different god in their very own church! In total God kills 371,186 people directly and orders another 1,862,265 people murdered.
Rape In The Bible
Rape is one of the most heinous crimes imaginable. Yet few people know that the Bible often condones and even approves of rape. How anyone can get their moral guidance from a book that allows rape escapes me. Perhaps they have been lied to about the Bible and carefully detoured around all the nasty stuff in the Bible.
So grab your Bibles and follow along as I show you all the nasty rapes that your priests and preachers don’t want to tell you about. Note that in many places in the Bible there are references to “taking a wife”. Don’t be fooled into thinking that these were voluntary marriages. This first quote clearly shows that murder and force were used to “take” these wives.
1) Murder, rape, and pillage at Jabesh-gilead (Judges 21:10-24 NLT)
So they sent twelve thousand warriors to Jabesh-gilead with orders to kill everyone there, including women and children. “This is what you are to do,” they said. “Completely destroy all the males and every woman who is not a virgin.” Among the residents of Jabesh-gilead they found four hundred young virgins who had never slept with a man, and they brought them to the camp at Shiloh in the land of Canaan.
The Israelite assembly sent a peace delegation to the little remnant of Benjamin who were living at the rock of Rimmon. Then the men of Benjamin returned to their homes, and the four hundred women of Jabesh-gilead who were spared were given to them as wives. But there were not enough women for all of them. The people felt sorry for Benjamin because the LORD had left this gap in the tribes of Israel. So the Israelite leaders asked, “How can we find wives for the few who remain, since all the women of the tribe of Benjamin are dead? There must be heirs for the survivors so that an entire tribe of Israel will not be lost forever. But we cannot give them our own daughters in marriage because we have sworn with a solemn oath that anyone who does this will fall under God’s curse.”
Then they thought of the annual festival of the LORD held in Shiloh, between Lebonah and Bethel, along the east side of the road that goes from Bethel to Shechem. They told the men of Benjamin who still needed wives, “Go and hide in the vineyards. When the women of Shiloh come out for their dances, rush out from the vineyards, and each of you can take one of them home to be your wife! And when their fathers and brothers come to us in protest, we will tell them, ‘Please be understanding. Let them have your daughters, for we didn’t find enough wives for them when we destroyed Jabesh-gilead. And you are not guilty of breaking the vow since you did not give your daughters in marriage to them.'” So the men of Benjamin did as they were told. They kidnapped the women who took part in the celebration and carried them off to the land of their own inheritance. Then they rebuilt their towns and lived in them. So the assembly of Israel departed by tribes and families, and they returned to their own homes.
Obviously these women were repeatedly raped. These sick bastards killed and raped an entire town and then wanted more virgins, so they hid beside the road to kidnap and rape some more. How can anyone see this as anything but evil?
2) Murder, rape and pillage of the Midianites (Numbers 31:7-18 NLT)
They attacked Midian just as the LORD had commanded Moses, and they killed all the men. All five of the Midianite kings – Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur, and Reba – died in the battle. They also killed Balaam son of Beor with the sword. Then the Israelite army captured the Midianite women and children and seized their cattle and flocks and all their wealth as plunder. They burned all the towns and villages where the Midianites had lived. After they had gathered the plunder and captives, both people and animals, they brought them all to Moses and Eleazar the priest, and to the whole community of Israel, which was camped on the plains of Moab beside the Jordan River, across from Jericho.
Moses, Eleazar the priest, and all the leaders of the people went to meet them outside the camp. But Moses was furious with all the military commanders who had returned from the battle. “Why have you let all the women live?” he demanded. “These are the very ones who followed Balaam’s advice and caused the people of Israel to rebel against the LORD at Mount Peor. They are the ones who caused the plague to strike the LORD’s people. Now kill all the boys and all the women who have slept with a man. Only the young girls who are virgins may live; you may keep them for yourselves.
Clearly Moses and God approves of rape of virgins.
3) More Murder Rape and Pillage (Deuteronomy 20:10-14)
As you approach a town to attack it, first offer its people terms for peace. If they accept your terms and open the gates to you, then all the people inside will serve you in forced labor. But if they refuse to make peace and prepare to fight, you must attack the town. When the LORD your God hands it over to you, kill every man in the town. But you may keep for yourselves all the women, children, livestock, and other plunder. You may enjoy the spoils of your enemies that the LORD your God has given you.
What kind of God approves of murder, rape, and slavery?
4) Laws of Rape (Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NLT)
If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.
What kind of lunatic would make a rape victim marry her attacker? Answer: God.
5) Death to the Rape Victim (Deuteronomy 22:23-24 NAB)
If within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out of the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbors wife.
It is clear that God doesn’t give a damn about the rape victim. He is only concerned about the violation of another mans “property”.
6) David’s Punishment – Polygamy, Rape, Baby Killing, and God’s “Forgiveness” (2 Samuel 12:11-14 NAB)
Thus says the Lord: ‘I will bring evil upon you out of your own house. I will take your wives [plural] while you live to see it, and will give them to your neighbor. He shall lie with your wives in broad daylight. You have done this deed in secret, but I will bring it about in the presence of all Israel, and with the sun looking down.’
Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan answered David: “The Lord on his part has forgiven your sin: you shall not die. But since you have utterly spurned the Lord by this deed, the child born to you must surely die.” [The child dies seven days later.]
This has got to be one of the sickest quotes of the Bible. God himself brings the completely innocent rape victims to the rapist. What kind of pathetic loser would do something so evil? And then he kills a child! This is sick, really sick!
7) Rape of Female Captives (Deuteronomy 21:10-14 NAB)
“When you go out to war against your enemies and the LORD, your God, delivers them into your hand, so that you take captives, if you see a comely woman among the captives and become so enamored of her that you wish to have her as wife, you may take her home to your house. But before she may live there, she must shave her head and pare her nails and lay aside her captive’s garb. After she has mourned her father and mother for a full month, you may have relations with her, and you shall be her husband and she shall be your wife. However, if later on you lose your liking for her, you shall give her her freedom, if she wishes it; but you shall not sell her or enslave her, since she was married to you under compulsion.”
Once again God approves of forcible rape.
8) Rape and the Spoils of War (Judges 5:30 NAB)
They must be dividing the spoils they took: there must be a damsel or two for each man, Spoils of dyed cloth as Sisera’s spoil, an ornate shawl or two for me in the spoil. (Judges 5:30 NAB)
9) Sex Slaves (Exodus 21:7-11 NLT)
When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the end of six years as the men are. If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again. But he is not allowed to sell her to foreigners, since he is the one who broke the contract with her. And if the slave girl’s owner arranges for her to marry his son, he may no longer treat her as a slave girl, but he must treat her as his daughter. If he himself marries her and then takes another wife, he may not reduce her food or clothing or fail to sleep with her as his wife. If he fails in any of these three ways, she may leave as a free woman without making any payment. (Exodus 21:7-11 NLT)
10) God Assists Rape and Plunder (Zechariah 14:1-2 NAB)
Lo, a day shall come for the Lord when the spoils shall be divided in your midst. And I will gather all the nations against Jerusalem for battle: the city shall be taken, houses plundered, women ravished; half of the city shall go into exile, but the rest of the people shall not be removed from the city. (Zechariah 14:1-2 NAB)
I SAY ONLY THAT ……………..I READ IN HOLY BIBLE THAT IF HUSBAND IS CHRISTIAN THEN HIS WIFE SHALL BE SAVED THROUGH HIM OR VICE VERSA ………….AND THIS LADY SHOULD RESPECT HER HUSBAND FEELINGS , BCS HE MARRY HER AGAINST HIS PARENTS DECISION AND DISRESPECT HIS PARENTS WHICH IS ALSO A SIN……………NW SHE IS A PART OF HIS HUSBAND FAMILY , FRM WHERE SHE WILL GET LOVE , CARE AND ALL GOOD THINGS……….IF SHE LOVE HER HUSBAND , SHE HAVE TO ACCEPTED HIS EVERYTHING WITHOUT MESSING UP HER MARRIED LIFE . HER HUSBAND DIDNT SAY HER TO LIVE SEPARATELY OR LOOK HE DNT WANT TO GIVE HER DIVORCE THATS HIS TRUE LOVE . SHE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT HIS HUSBANDS FAMILY NW HER FAMILY……..SHE HAVE TO ACCEPT CHRISTIANITY AND IGNORE WHAT HIS HUSBAND THINK ABOUT HINDUS…….ITS NOT A RELIGION WAR ITS THEIR MARRIAGE LIFE……….SO LIVE HAPPILY AND TRY NOT TO MESS UP YOUR MARRIAGE FOR RELIGION……..DNT LET YOUR HUSBAND DECIEVED BY EVIL……SUPPORT HIM AND SEE THE MAGIC ………A HAPPY LIFE WAITING FOR YOU ………..IF HER HUSBAND WILL COMMIT ANY SIN THEN SHE WILL BE RESPONSIBLE……….:)
its clear that he and his mother is indirectly influencing u to covert to christianity. every Abrahamic faith teaches their religion is the only path to salvation so it is very common that u might face this type of problems. dont worry caus even muslims do the same. (i dont know abt jews). as u r a follower of eastern religion so it is natural that u enjoy and respect other culture and religion. (in most cases tolerant). as i m an atheist(ex christian), from my point of view he married u only bcoz of making a non christian a christian as in the church we r told to get more followers to jesus. its partly his fault and his church upbringing.(cant complain about old habits that are inserted to someone from such a tender age). my advise would be ask him straightforwardly if he loves u. if he does demand him to respect ur tradition. if he does not and gives silly reasons then get clear he is not the man of ur life. if this happens dont worry. u have three options.
1) follow his religion and live a happy married life.
2)follow ur own religion happily and leave this issue aside giving focus to different things.
3)leave him as he is obviously a fanatic unconcciously. get a better man who will love you and respect ur religion and culture.
Excellent advise!! Great points!!!
All three Abrahamics are exclusivist and intolerant to “other” (including each others) God and faiths. Christians believe only Jesus followers will be salvaged on the Judgement Day. Muslim believes only Allah is a true God (and Jesus is not a Son of God and thus Christianity is invalid). Allah told not to be friends with Christians and Jews. Jews believe they are God’s chosen people and will believe Hindus are idol worshippers. Where will it end?
Dharmics are, in general, pluralist and will not have a problem with Jesus or Allah as a (son) God along with Krishna and Laxmi. Isvar Allah tero nam- is a creation of a pluralist Dharmic. Abrahamic’s Jealous God will not tolerate “other” gods.
Dharmic-Abrahamic marriage will end up having a fight to go on the Abrahamic-label on the Dharmic and their children (Baptism, Bris or Shahadah/Sunat, BBS). Unless the Abrahamic is somewhat an atheist or moderate, he/she will not tolerate the Dharmic in their married life.
So the dating Dharmic has to ask only one question, is there going to be the BBS? If yes, Dharmic should walk away from their intolerant Abrahamic lover. It cannot be any more simple.
Hi Hinu,
I have gone through your write-up & your experience so far. I am sorry for what you have faced till date. It is also perinial to hear only one side of the story, cause we really dont know what your husbund’s stand is.
Hindu faith or Catholic faith…. big question…. wat is more important for him or for you… talk that out to him…
As correctly said he wants you to be what he wants & has forgotten about your own faith.. This cannot be completely done, cause though you have converted, you have not fully accepted his religion, which is in a way not right… It has back-fired…. You should have not got converted in the first place, which is why your husbund has started expecting a lot from you…
Firstly all these fights & hitting should stop…. You should tell him that any sort of such torture will be replied by you in a strong legal action….
Bible & Shrimad Bhagwad talks about following the respective religion..
But over & above that it should be understood that there could be million ways to interpret both holy books, but the truth is one. GOD has never divided humans as per faith.
Humans have made these religions which are different processes or customs to get closer to God….
Religion is not above GOD… GOD is above religion & he is one for all of us…
You have to make peace with your husband & forgive him. Tell him that you give him a last chance, a chance where he needs to understand you & be more flexible & open to your thoughts, since you are already following his religion….
Read bible & understand the meaning which will help him & you to get closer. Simmilarly he should stop all the influence of his mother & approach a councillor or a priest for a confession about how he has behaved with you.
He has betrayed his own religion & your faith. Catholic faith is more about tolerance & the path through Lord Jesus Christ to reach Almighty…
Him forcing you to not believe in your faith is not what is preached in Catholic religion. But the church surely talks about children being baptised & given strictly the catholic faith if all of you are catholics.
So this is which is complicated but you have already made your choice when you got married. So your husband should be made to understand the fact that you equally love him very much rather than him asking you to do anything else. As you have already done all for him…
Please see a councellar asap… & see what you people can derive on to leading your future…
I dont believe in divorce, but if you cannot change things between yourselves, you should part away & stay separately for a time until you really want to be together.
If you really dont feel like being to be togther after 10 months time spend from being away from each other, than you should file for a divorce & move on forgiving each other.
All said is fine, but finally it is you people who have to walk & work it out…Please forgive each other.. .all us want is you people to be together, cause more than reiligion, love teaches us to be together forever which is above all.. I pray for you both & may God show you the right path…
I appreciate reading the posts. Hinu sounds like a woman who has a failed marriage but is blaming the Christian faith instead of taking personal responsibility for making a bad choice in a marriage partner.
These posts on this website make it seem as if all Christians are horrible people and that marrying between faiths is bad because Christians are bad. That idea is false.
The real issue is that most Christians all over the world really do not know what it means to be a Christian. Most Christians have no idea what Jesus of Nazareth taught– what he believed. There are so many different types of Christian systems that even Christians are confused. People should take the time to read the Gospel of Luke in the Bible. I am not trying to convert you.I am asking you to become educated for yourself.
When we want to know about history, we read about history. When we want to know about math, we read about math. When we want to know about Christianity– we uh– talk to people and read websites. That makes no sense. We must go back to the source and read the Bible. Where do we start? The Bible is full of many letters called books. I suggest reading the Gospel of Luke. In the Gospel of Luke you will see how women are supposed to be treated– with respect.
One website says the divorce rate among Christians who regularly attend church is 38%.
Among Christians who rarely attend church the divorce rate is 60%.
The point is that even among Christians, marriage is a big risk. Why? Because a lot of people say they are Christian but they are not. The problem is not Christianity. The problem is that you married into a bad family for your personality type.
Dear Hinu you are injured and need to be healed. Venting is healing. I am glad you posted here about your experience with a Christian husband. I wish there was a way for you to meet other Christian men that I know so they could tell you for themselves how you should have been treated with love, compassion, and respect in your marriage.
Jacky, majority (90%?) of Christians (Muslims and Jews) are open-minded and interfaith marriage with a Hindu will work just fine. However, at dating time it is difficult to find out who will respect spouse’s Hindu faith and who is a love-proselytizer. One true test to weed-out the love-proselytizer is to decline the BBS. Do you think this is a good test?
This is pure myth. It means not much what you do tempoarrily. What matters will your children be Hindu or or the follow Judeo-christian-Islamic path. It is not possible to marry a Muslim with out Nikah i.e conversion. It is forbidden. It is not possible to marry a Christian in Church with out baptism.
So this is just soft thinking.
love is a two way street. Ask him to convert to hinduism just as u proved yourself to be a loving woman and converted. Or else, officially you first convert back to hinduism and live like a hindu attending mandirs and comingling with hindus. Lots of Indian christians hate hindus especially those who live in west, in fact they give hindus Bibles, Im not kidding. You better be prepared to work and make a living even if it means working in a superstore, thats paramount importance, you can assert your rights noe that you live in the west. visit and register on hindudharmaforums.com, run by a canadian hindu who married a canadian woman. There are several white people who have converted to hinduism as well, whom you get to read on the forum. Also explore ‘western hindus’ on google and see for yourself how westerners are developing a favorable opinion about hinduism. Dont let others say derogatory words against hinduism , you are following a faith that is inclusive, go to mandirs and get back to hinduism, there is no hell. Goodluck, dont be afraid to divorce the guy, the days have changed, dont suffer anymore.
sorry to hear but whose fault is it. you are the hippocrite not your husband. he made himself clear that he wanted a christian wife before marraige. you fooled him by accepting chritianity by falsely making him believe that you were converting to christianity.He therefore was asking you of everything which he thinks a christian wife can give him. But instead you started to show your true colors and went back to hinduism. That means your heart was always hindu. Why did you leave your religion. He gave you a choice you should have left him. Instead you decieved him perhaps for his money which you thought was there. You did not listen to your parents and you want him to do the same with his. you are a disobedient child but he is obedient. And even now after he hit you for the first time you want him to take the initiative to divorce you, you cant even walk away from your own abuser. You are not a good child nor a good wife and you are not even good to yourself. get out now! accept your faults. go back to your parents and appologise. but dont call that man a hippcrite as he made his position clear from day one. he would have been a good husband if you had not decived him in the first place. he is also a good son. and you are so cheeky that you dont want to give him kids so they should not follow his faith BUT HE MADE HIS POSITION CLEAR FROMDAY ONE.you have ruined his life and denying him the pleasure of having kids. get out of his life for you own sake and his sake. he can marry a good christian wife some day and you go whereever you want to.
SP,
Can you identify yourself. It seems you dont have a liberal opinion & you seem to be a distant relative of the boy.
Mistakes are done by both of them. And both of them have to work together to resolve. If you cannot motivate, atleast dont blame & de-motivate. Perhaps you are totally wrong & would really know, if you yourself would have experinced thier situation.
Dear Hinu,
I sympathize with what you’re going through and there are several things I would like to talk about.
Firstly, Garba is part of your culture and your upbringing. It’s a part of you what makes you the person you are and I don’t think anyone has the right to ask you not to indulge yourself in any cultural activity. In fact, I’m sure you may want to pass on that your kids some day. In fact, I’ve been to many Garba functions myself and I, being an Indian Catholic, enjoy being part of it.
Secondly, I’m a Catholic and I’m liberal too. People may disagree with me but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you spending time with your spouse in the temple. As long as you know what you believe in, you should be fine. Your husband is very chauvinistic and needs to learn that if you can sacrifice your beliefs and go to church, he can go to a temple with you too.
Thirdly, as for your Satya Narayan Katha, I think your husband should have told you if he had a problem right from the very beginning. I mean I don’t really understand the idea behind ruining each others’ lives. Religion was always gonna be an issue but there are ways to deal with it.
I’m so sorry to say this but your husband is in love with the person he wanted you to become and not the person you are. I don’t think anyone should change when it comes to religion and culture. My sister has been happily married to my brother-in-law (Hindu) for 7 years and they have a son together and I think they’ve managed to keep their faiths aside and still managed to work things out. In fact, my brother-in-law encourages my sister to go to church and vice versa. At the end of the day, it comes down to individuals, if you as a couple are willing to work things out, you will and also be successful at it. If you want to be together, you’ve got compromise on both ends.
The most important part of marriage and relationships is communication and understanding each other. Then only you’ll be able to live happy whether you’re part of an interfaith marriage or not. Yes divorce is frowned upon in any religion but if you’re miserable and are abused, I think it’s best to end it as soon as possible. You would both be living a lie if you continued to be together unless he lives up to his promise.
NOT ALL INTER-FAITH MARRIAGES ARE BAD. THERE ARE QUITE A FEW OUT THERE THAT CAN WORK. IT ONLY COMES DOWN TO THE KIND OF INDIVIDUALS INVOLVED. I HOPE THAT HELPS.
Hinu
The fellow has manipulated you! He is a coward. You should salvage the remainder of your life. Get a divorce now. Reconvert to being a practicing Hindu – Arya Samaj, Gayatri Parivar in Canada can do that simple procedure.
You deserve some one better and you will find him!!
@Hinu
You can’t keep procrastinating like this forever, your husband says he hates Hinduism and even abuses you, and what’s more even emotionally blackmails you, our children especially girls fall in these situations because Hindus in India stupidly believe all religions are same, so parents share the blame too.
Anyway, if you have any self-respect left, you should clearly divorce your husband and for that contact local Hindu or atheist organizations to help you out.
@ Hinu:
No religion favors divorce easily that too for religious sakes.
Divorce is not an easy way out, remember whoever divorced and remarried (men or women) carries the stigma and they have to act in the subsequent marraige, why not be yourself staying in the same marraige. You converted to Christianity for the sake of marraige and love. Now think of 2 options : Be with your husband loving him and Christ – he will definitely appreciate that, second is tell him that Bible permits that the partner irrespective of his/her religion can live with the other professing their own religion.(- 1 Cor 7:12).
Bible is flexible in this – God is not the destroyer of family but he wants to build it. Christ do not hate people from other religion , so also let him not hate you. Dont force your religion on him either – tell your husband that.
Dont complicate things by avoiding children, get engaged yourself – work, pray , sing to whichever God u feel comfortable or to both Gods till things changes for the best.
What i see is it is the problem of individuals – dont let parents come in between your relationship, parents think that they wanted to save their kids eventually destroying their future.Let your husband know that. I hope u take ur decision in the best possible way.
Dear Hinu,
This man is fenatic as his mother is. They have picked up worst of Bible rather than good things.He has been phony and a liar. Just get rid of him. Do not expect him to change and her mother will be a constant problem for you and may be other family members. Do not spoil your remaining life.
Good luck.
Dear Admin,
I appreciate for your reply and your precious time for giving me such a good suggestion. This website is really good source of knowldge and you are doing good. Yes I am well educated (still became fool). I am a software engineer. Could you please tell me that how can I again get converted into Hinduism and can I do this from Canada?
Thanks.
Dear Hinu
I empathize with you. I also underwent a similar experience as I am a Hindu and was married to a Christian for 15 years and have two children.
Your husband is weak and is emotionally blackmailing you to stay on in this marriage. Believe me he will not kill himself and he knows that by talking like this you will stick on with him.
I took a divorce form my husband who had made life miserable for me and children by his daily preaching, controlling and quoting bible at every step. So much so he was not willing to allow me or children to visit my parents and kept on saying to me that I will burn in hell as only Christians will go to heaven. When they are dating they are different and when they marry they remember their religion.
I had had a civil marriage and did not convert and I agreed willingly to let the kids be Christian becos I did not feel there was an issue on this score. He also threatened me that he will die if I left him but I felt I owed it to myself for my sake, children sake to get out of this hell. Now he comes after me saying he was wrong and he is ready to accept the fact I am a Hindu but I am at peace and living a sane life.
You are in Canada where it is much easier to get rid of him why are you bent on destroying your life for this man. You owe it to yourself to be happy and move on.
You are not responsible for his life, if he chooses to commit suicide so be it is on his head. Remember no one in this world understands what you are going through, do not bother about anyone go and take a decision and move on. If you say your life is precious them make it so.
It is not about christian or hindu it is about the mentality of indivdual persons. Tolerance and acceptance of the spouse from another religion is difficult to abide so successful interfaith marriages in the true sense I believe are a rarity.
Dear Vineeta and Ashok,
Thanks for your advice. Actually after coming to Canada I have decided to leave him but I was feeling like our relation was improving because he was away from his family. He was thinking for our relation rather than religion. So I thought let me give one chance to our relation though he had done too much bad to me.
He feels sorry for everything he does to me but still he has not changed completely. He still does not like that I talk to my family or friends or do idol worship. Whenever we fight he started hitting himself and act abnormally. If I say him to get divorce he starts crying and even started hitting himself moreover says to do suicide so I am not able to take any actions.
@ Vineeta- I feel sorry to heard your ordeal. I would definitely neither not spend my whole life with him or have kids. Waiting for the day he says me to take divorce. One that day I would be happiest person on this planet.
“Waiting for the day he asks me to take divorce.” Now that doesn’t make any sense, dear Hinu. If you were working in a job that you didn’t like, would you wait for your boss to fire you, or would you quit? Seriously, are you willing to spend 10, 20 or 30 years waiting for him to ask you to divorce? Be true to yourself either take the step yourself, or live as he wants you to.
You are living in Canada, and you can file for a divorce on your own Hinu.
If he threatens you and abuses you , you are not safe or respected in your own home. It’s time to move on Hinu and live a life where you are happy.
You don’t seem happy at all in your marriage and you are just delaying the inevitable. If your husband still finds problems in your faith , how much are you willing to take?
The choice is yours but life is too short to be miserable.
In Canada, you can initiate a divorce without your spouse’s consent. You may wish to seek legal advice regarding your rights. I’m not sure that you should be too concerned with your husband’s emotional blackmail. After all, just how good a Christian can he be if he is threatening to commit suicide (pretty sure that’s a big no no in most sects of Christianity)? Please also note that one of the biggest signs of potential abusers is the desire to isolate the victim from their friends and family (by cutting off the support network the victim becomes dependant on teh abuser). Please keep that in mind. Good luck.
Hey Hinu,
Please initiate divorce yourself and get out of this wedding EVEN if he plans to change. It’s not worked out, and you will have only bad memories in the future.
Regarding hinduism resources in Canada, There is the BAPS swaminarayan, and the ISKCON. Both are good starting points to develop a network of people, and start engaging in some regular spiritual activities.
Please reply to this if you need help. Are you in Toronto?