Pia says: September 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm
I am a 23 year old hindu girl in a relationship with a muslim boy for the last seven years. We both love each other alot and his parents have even accepted me. But my parents are against this relationship and above all I am the only daughter of my parents. So i am in a big dilemma now. Neither can i leave my parents nor can i stay without my boyfriend. What should i do? Please help me to make a decision . please -Pia
Admin says:
Pia,
You have left out the most critical information, does he or his family expect you to change your religion? It does not matter what excuse he uses, bottom line, do you have to convert?
If conversion is expected (in almost all cases), have you read Hindu-Muslim Marriage carefully and are willing to live through Muslim life proudly? Considering risks are VERY VERY high, it is worth putting your parents to shame? If you get the talaak after marrying him, what is your back up plan, we hope not your parents?
Tell him that you will never ever convert in this life, this is who you are and will remain that way. Take it or leave. He will accept you as it. If not, you are only 23 and a long way to go for your life, you will have other options. Get back to us for more guidance. Don’t jump into the well blindly!
Pia says: September 8, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Ya, he did tell me that if i have 2 marry him then i’ll surely have to convert since a Muslim guy can perform nikaah only with Muslim girl. But he did add that i’ll be allowed to visit temples and that i can keep idols of God along with me. But now am going to tell him that am not going to change my religion at any cost. Let me see if he can accept me that way.
Anyways, thanks for your valuable advice Sir! I’ll surely get back to you for more guidance. -Pia.
Admin says:
Do the following three things:
1. DO NOT TRUST US. This is your life, so do not rely on any one. Take this article https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=2402 to 10 imams and 100 muslims and ask them how much on that post is true. Ask them to request correction on that post.
2. DO NOT LIE. If you are a person with high self esteem, never lie. It will cost you a lot later. If you don’t have intention of being a true muslim, do not fake-convert and lie to the God.
3. SAFETY FIRST. If you wish to tell your boy friend that you will never convert, please be careful of any violent reaction. Always tell your parents where are you going. Also take your other girl friends with you when you are going to be in any private place with him. Play safe.
Let us know what is next. Best wishes. -Admin.
Pia says:
hi pearl,
its really good to know that you are really blessed with an understanding boyfriend. But its not similar in my case. No doubt that my boyfriend too loves me n understands me alot but when it comes to our marriage he is very adamant on the fact that i have to change my religion because according to him its his parents who’l always be with me after we both get married off and not my parents since they are against this relationship.
so plz suggest me something. what should i do to make him understand the very fact that i donot want to convert??
and ya 1 more thing, are your parents ok with your relationship with a muslim guy??
Admin says:
Pia, if you are convinced then go tell him that religious conversion is absolutely not an option. You are what you are and will die as is (a Hindu). Do not fake convert, unless you mean to be a real Muslim. If his love is true, he will come around. Best wishes.
.
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Also read: Islamic Women Today, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu girl, Muslim girl, Hindu boy, Muslim boy,
Be a friend on Facebook. Return to InterfaithShaadi.org. To share your experience, read.
(Muslim) has 3 sikh girls on the go and will slowly persuade them to convert
Pia I say u only one thing apne parent Ki bat mano Abhi accha lag rha h par shadi ke baad durdasha ho jayege
Pia,
1. Your way too young to make a decision all on your own which will impact you irreversibly for life. If your parents and family were endorsing it, it would be still better. But at your age you shouldnt decide to just marry against your family.
Who will be your support network? What will you do if things go wrong?
Wait till your late 20s, esp if your going against your family. You need to be a) more mature, b) have seen the ugly side of the world and people in general and c) financially independent should anything go wrong.
2. Dont convert. Theres really no point in converting because it is going to be fake and “out of love”. These never end well. Think far. When you die (god forbid ), your folks will not be able to do hindu funeral for you. The laws you will have to follow will be islamic. Your kids will be islamic – may not respect hinduism at all. All this is still fine, if it does not bother you at all. But if you introspect, it’s highly likely that you will be bothered.
Your bf should be able to talk to his folks and they should accept you as you are. And have a joint religion family. If they can’t they are not super broad minded, and cannot handle an inter religious wedding.
3. Focus on your career now. You don’t make marriage decisions “out of love”. Love should be there, but love and marriage is more beautiful when it happens between 2 independent and mature people.
To All the people who visit this website, consider that
ALL THE STORIES AND POSTS ON THIS SITE ARE FAKE
before asking yourself this question that should you marry this guy or not, answer this … who created religion ? who created casteism ? whor created this divide ?
we humans have this stupid tendency to create divides and barriers and then get trapped in them. it is like creating a pit and then falling in it..
when you began loving him, did anyone ask you why ? your heart said you should and you did… and nobody forced you to ..
when you were born, did you know what religion you were of ? did you even know what God is ?
had you parents thrown you in a garbage bin and dumped you, what chances were there that God would come and rescue you … leave aside His messenger …
but still we beleive .. why ? because we have faith .. in God .. and what is God then ?
God is nothing but LOVE ..
when he cries in front of you … do you feel his pain ?
when he says he wants you to be a part of his life, do you see the honest desire ?
if you do .. then you see God .. because He is love …
don’t let go just because of something silly that man created..
if you love him don’t let him go … the one who knows how to make you smile … who knows how to soothe you when you are afraid … the one who has all the time in the world for you …
i’m saying all this because i have lost someone on similar grounds ..
and i never ever could love anyone else … because nobody could take her place …
she left and i watched helplessly …
don’t commit the same mistake … don’t let go …
just don’t let go …
Can you share more details on “i’m saying all this because i have lost someone on similar grounds”?
If you are a non-Muslim, would you “fake” convert to Islam just to please a maulvi?
If you are a Muslim, would you have married without conversion of your spouse?
By the way, are you atheist or have any faith? Please reply.
‘God is nothing but LOVE’, Please tell me what is love then?
Loving a girl coz she is beautiful.
Leaving your parent coz of a girl and you are in love.
These kind of statements sound better for illogical people.
Spread love, hate none. ‘wow’ what an ideal statement.
But tell me What will urge you to spread love? What will let you know Good or Bad?
Society does not run with mere ‘Love to all’. It run with rules and guidelines.
What is wrong being an atheist as far as you do good karma in THIS life?
Is it okay to have a Sikh or Hindu faiths?
A non-Muslim can go to heaven on the Judgment day?
Between Mahatma Gandhi and Osama Bin Laden, who has a better chance (don’t dodge the question by saying Allah will decide)?
When someone says there is nothing wrong being atheist , I doubt what kind of faith he has got that could not convince him to follow his religion. If you follow any religion, It should better answered by you, why have faith in God. right? If belief and non-belief all are same and there is nothing wrong in disbelief, i sincerely doubt your faith.
Good karma, yes it is primary motive of all religion. But it is religion that strongly urge for good deeds and no force is so strong than religion.
All religion are good as soon as they convey right message. Religion is not just a book of moral science. It must tell way of life. It help you being obedient to God. So pick the best one. Will you accept a book with errors?
All muslim will go to heaven, after justice is done. In the sight of God, biggest sin is dis-belief or associating others with God. because if you don’t believe in him, why will you fear from his orders. or if you say there are more God then whom will you obey.
“Between Mahatma Gandhi and Osama Bin Laden, who has a better chance”
see there are lots of people in world apart from these two, even a very poor beggar can go to heaven and a rich can not. Most of the people get reward for their doings in this life and they have no share in hereafter. Most of the people do very good deeds even they are mistreated and suffered in this life. It is God who can give justice to all.
What Gandhi did was for the nation and nation give back respect to him. He also worked for poor , degraded people, and removal of social evils so he will get bounty of God for it.
About Osama, what we know is through media. He is pretty notorious. He did wrong and he will get punishment for that.
But point is i am not judge or Lord, I am an obedient servant of my Lord. I will obey what is ordered, If i will not do good deeds i will be punished. What at my part is to follow orders.
A hadith is there saying – a prostitute gave water to a thirsty dog and God forgave her. To forgive is Godly, we can’t decide. what we can do, believe in him and his guidelines.
If you are a non-believer, what will you do, you will make others too not to believe, they will make others, their children will do the same,
Even you did good work, are you sure your successor will do same. No, because there is no fear of God as they disbelieved.
I don’t drink liquar, what stops me? my faith. I abstain from corruption. what stops me? my faith. It is only faith that can alone keep you guided. Therefore believe in God, is primary thing and all sins are after that.
Amir, well said…this is certainly a Godly message that we understand.
“….Gandhi …. will get bounty of God for it” …even Gandhi believed in Lord Krishna.
“About Osama, … will get punishment for that.” …even Osama was a true Muslim and Allah believer.
Beautiful message Amir, we love your message. Recapping….those who do good karma will be rewarded (even if you believe in Krishna or Jesus). Such a strong message will bring peace in this World!
Hi everybody, I am 100% sure that Pia and Pearl are not Hindu/Jain girls.
It is just publicity stunt with ill motives and selfish gain to influence other girls.
hello pia,
I m also a jain…planing to marry a muslim guy…we have been in a relationship since 3 years…and planning to be in a relationship for the next 4 years…he has not asked me to convert to his relegion…nor will he convert to mine…on the contarary….he is adamant that i should nevr change my religion..either it be him or ny1 else in the future.and moreover..i have decided not to change my surnmae after marriage..and he is perfectly fine wid it…and he is completly fine wid it…and regarding upbringing of children….we have decided that our children surname will b having his and my surnames…and they wont have arabic or muslim names…dey will have or can have normal name…he is well educated…and me too…he has nevr forced me to do nything of his religion…On the contarry…he is willing to marry unbiasedly…under special marriage act 1954..
short and simple…love is above all religion…and never take decisions blindly…be practical too…nd take tym…
Reply to Pearl at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=2585
@ Pia,
Equally important is your future children’s upbringing. Will they carry the Arabic names? More importantly, will they be circumcised and have that scar for their whole of life? What if they later in their life accuse you of disfiguring their physique? This is probably as important as your religion. What you will be leaving behind for the humanity? What if the children are brainwashed by some Mullah and become the true follower of Muhammad and a shoulder of Allah?
Just think over it and decide. After all it’s your life. Good luck to you.
To satyen.
“will they be circumcised and have that scar for their whole of life?”
Brother it is not scar and widely performed in major world religions,
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_male_circumcision.
Secondly
“become the true follower of Muhammad and a shoulder of Allah?”
It is good if somebody becomes follower of Muhammad, If you could not get the guidance and failed to understand islam, dont’t write crap here.
Everybody, irrespective of your religion, please shun this primitive and barbaric practice of circumcision. Research yourself, don’t take my words at all. See the following links and know that all of the Europe, Canada and South America and Australia along with Non-Muslim world has 90% people that have already left this practice. Even some of the enlightened Muslims are against it as shown in the second link below!
http://www.intactamerica.org/resources/decision
http://www.familymedicine.co.uk/features/circum3.htm
Some of the enlightened Muslims against this practice of circumcision are already voicing. See the below link..
http://www.quranicpath.com/misconceptions/circumcision.html
If any one wants to know more about circumcision, read…
https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=460
InterfaithShaadi is one of first to endorse it, look for our logo at …
http://mgmbill.org/endorsements.htm