Many Moslim women have expressed their frustration for expectations of virgin wife and the need for hymen repair surgery to please the Islamic community on the ISLAMIC WOMEN TODAY post and other places on this web site. This page is dedicated to stimulate discussion on this specific topic.
“The demand for this service arises from the fact that muslim bridegrooms ask for virgin brides, so muslim girls after this operation pretend to be virgins, while enjoying premarital sexual relationships.” –Sha Gull
“…hymen does not necessary guarantee bleeding, or that some Muslim girls are born without a hymen, (when Muslim girls are told this,) they’re very surprised.” Dr. Teenhardt
“Thinner than skin, the hymen is a fibrous, elastic membrane covering the vagina – one so delicate that it can be ruptured from vigorous physical exercise or even a fall, as well as by sexual intercourse.
In the past, if a woman wasn’t a virgin, she would surreptitiously pour animal blood on the bed after consummating her marriage. Today, this tradition has been replaced in Macedonia with a more sophisticated ruse – hymen repair surgery. This procedure is recognized medically as plastic surgery and is easily performed, taking only thirty minutes to one hour to repair a broken hymen.” –Afreen
“While Chinese women work to produce anything that sells and raise their country to new heights as an emerging power, Muslim women remain embroiled still in proving that their worth is more than just their virginity” –Zakaria
“I got married in Pakistan and on the wedding night, as usual, my husband penetrated and broke the (repaired) hymen and the blood capsule bleeded.” –Tabbusum
“I am from Paris now, and have also under gone the above procedure to please my (Muslim) husband but still fearful whether he would love me throughout the life.” –Tahira
“...they also started intercourse with me many times.” –Taslima
“One day a devil came between us, and we did it” –Muslim girl
“I under went Hymen repair surgery in Pakistan.” –Aarfa
“i got raped by our neighbor when i was 9” –Sara from Saudi Arabia
“I slept with my boyfriend several times” –Sheeba
“The evil of virginity for a bride is also prevalent here in Suva island of Fiji in pacific ocean.” –Nafishah
.
Why? Why? This HRS raises many questions: (see answers by Nazneen, share your views.)
-
Is it crime to have premarital sex?
-
Why only women have to prove their virginity, while no question is raised against a man?
-
What if you are virgin, but the hymen is broken while scoring that winning soccer goal? Will the Islamic community believe and trust you? Will Muslim parents prevent their daughters playing any sports?
-
What does the Blood on the Bed sheet proves? Does it prove any more than …you are rich and could afford the surgery?
-
Why the practice of proving virginity by publicly displaying bloody bed sheet is only in Islamic community, and not heard at all in most other communities? Will Muslim mindset ever change?
-
Who is to blame for this practice….is that Koran (promise of 72 virgins), the Sharia laws or the Muslim community?
-
What is the ultimate solution?
Please forward this link to all your friends and ask them to share their views. URL: https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=3929
All are welcome to express your views.
Plastic surgeon says: February 4, 2018 at 8:09 pm
plz contact this cell number..complete address will be send to you.contact this clinic ..we take care of confidentiality. Contact number: 03315319868 Pakistan ..peshawar and islamabad
Dr. Faisal says: January 28, 2017 at 12:20 am
Hello sameer here Dr. Faisal. you can contact 03247613682 for hymenoplasty without pain. just 30 minutes operate time. Rs. 30000/- total dues.
DR. FATIMA says: February 15, 2014 at 12:19 am
03333134305 (Pakistan)
aiasha says: April 14, 2013 at 2:02 pm
hellow dear i really want to do virgin surgery if you have virgin surgery please contact me on my number 07404653870 thank you
NABEEL January 14, 2020 Elegance Plastic Surgery in Clifton
https://www.eleganceplasticsurgery.com/
KAREN SANTOS(Philippines): I would like to invite you all to visit our clinic for more info about how to treat your viruses. Please click the link below to reach us! Thank you for all your support and may we help you too with your problem. Good day and God Bless! Contact: https://hengkanghospital.com
Also read:
Help me renounce Islam,
Muslim girl,
45.1% of Muslim women marry outside their faith in America,
One day you have to face ALLAH,
Islamic Women Today,
Return to InterfaithShaadi.org. To share your experience, read.
There are more than 100 comments here, look for all under “Older Comments”.
Muslim girl: I had sex with Hindu, Buddhists, Christians...
please tell me any good doctor in peshawar ffor hymen repair..i shall be very thankful to u..please
Some of service providers have written to us, see any of them are of any help (not that we know them). Plastic surgeon says: February 4, 2018 at 8:09 pm
plz contact this cell number..complete address will be send to you.contact this clinic ..we take care of confidentiality. Contact number: 03315319868 Pakistan ..peshawar and islamabad
Dr. Faisal says: January 28, 2017 at 12:20 am
Hello sameer here Dr. Faisal. you can contact 03247613682 for hymenoplasty without pain. just 30 minutes operate time. Rs. 30000/- total dues.
DR. FATIMA says: February 15, 2014 at 12:19 am
03333134305 (Pakistan)
aiasha says: April 14, 2013 at 2:02 pm
hellow dear i really want to do virgin surgery if you have virgin surgery please contact me on my number 07404653870 thank you
NABEEL January 14, 2020 Elegance Plastic Surgery in Clifton
https://www.eleganceplasticsurgery.com/
KAREN SANTOS(Philippines): I would like to invite you all to visit our clinic for more info about how to treat your viruses. Please click the link below to reach us! Thank you for all your support and may we help you too with your problem. Good day and God Bless! Contact: https://hengkanghospital.com
please tell me any good doctor in peshawar for hymen repair..i shall be very thankful to u..please give me authentic source
Hi thanks for the information
I would like to invite you all to visit our clinic for more info about
how to treat your viruses. Please click the link below to reach us!
Thank you for all your support and may we help you too with your problem.
Good day and God Bless!
Thank you by Restore Hymen
Does anyone know anyone that has had hymen repair surgery in the UK? I would like to speak to someone who has had it before first
Please tell meis there is any clinic in karachi for hymenplasty?
Elegance Plastic Surgery in Clifton
https://www.eleganceplasticsurgery.com/
artificial Hymen kit price in pakistan
please tell me any good doctor in peshawar ffor hymen repair..i shall be very thankful to u..please give me authentic source
Mehwish contact this clinic ..he is expert plastic surgeon with confidentiality. .i have his contact number
03315319868
Hi zhina.plz contact this cell number..complete address will be send to you.contact this clinic ..we take care of confidentiality. .contact number
03315319868 Pakistan ..peshawar and islamabad
Hello,
Sad for what is happening with girls these days and how boys are using us on the name of love and trust.I m in need of a hymenoplasty in Karachi, if anyone has gone through it in Karachi could u please share the number of the doctor, I m getting married next year and I m just so scared kindly help. Thank u
Nice Informationa and very useful for Who want to Know More Information about Hymenoplasty.
The article seems prove the Virginity Restoration for more
Virginity Restoration
Live the life stress free and with respect without any repentance for the past. If you feel you have done something which you shouldn’t have done, just beg apology from Allah and try not to do it over again. That’s all you need to do. After going through several comments of Muslim women
Hymenoplasty in Lahore
I am 21 years old I am engaged or after six months meri shaadi hai magr mai ney apney boy friend k sath bht bar sex kr chuki hun mujhey bht dar lag raha hai mai apni shaadi ki night ko kesey face krun mai Pathan hun hamarey khandan mai agr largi ki pehli night pe bleeding Na ho to usey maar diya jata hai please help me mujhey jeena hai mai Kia krun koi mujhey bataey please mai kia krun jis sey meri dobara viginity or apni pehley jesi tightness wapis mil jaye God please help me
I think you should try the hymen pill…it will help you to prove your husband that you are virgin..
contact this clinic ..he is expert plastic surgeon with confidentiality. .i have his contact number
03315319868
hiwhere is your clinic please answer me where are you from i need help
Hi zhina.plz contact this cell number..complete address will be sent to you.contact this clinic ..we take care of confidentiality. .contact number
03315319868
I really need a hymen surgery please help me please i m geting married i have mentioned my story above pleaze i beg u please help meee
O girls,never love boys and men out of marriage! they will only use you. Don’t loose your virginity, if you follow their sayings, you will only loose, and a man never marries a girl whom he used ever.
Here in the states, we shuold pass a constitutional amendment specifically banning Sharia. I know we already have the first amendment, but we need to make clear just how unacceptable something is that sanctions things like, religious discrimination, slavery, and wife beating. Every free society shuold do the same. I think a made this suggestion before, but repeating it won’t hurt.
Please give me contact number please
Is there is any doctor in karachi i want to do a hymenoplasty in cheap rates can someone help me if there is please let me know
i am personaly using DermalMD Vaginal Tigtening Serum which is really works! After having a baby a couple months ago I thought things would never go back. But I am finally feeling myself again after using this stuff. Husband definitely noticed too 😉
To all the girls.
If you believe in religion and God then you need to follow God’s Laws and Commandments.
If you don’t follow religion and you disobey what God then you have the license to do Fornication / Adultery.
It’s really simple. God loving people and God fearing people always follows God’s instructions.
you cal decieve/fool your husband but you cannot fool allah_bhagwan_god, allah is one he created you and allah is one how is going to talk to you after your death , because there is a reason for every people to die , if your purpose is to enjoy life and if this is your permanent life then why you die, why don`t you live for ever like the earth , which is there from the beginning. and if hymen has no value then why god created this hymen, why jesus(peace be upon him) is divine and why marry was virgin. All these has reason and you people are ignoring itr coz you don`t want to judged for your bad deeds, ENJOY THIS LIFE FREELY BUT IN A MODEST WAY!!!!!
dear do you have office in peshawar if you have then what is the cost.
And how match time will take that operation.
Any place in Sri Lanka?
If not virgin then can’t be trusted.
It’s like you had your time of your life and now ready for a change.
I don’t blame non of them but if nuns can hold to they chastity then why not Muslim girls.
It’s desire and stupidity I say.
Anyways peace to non and virgin.
That’s iLife and live with your mistakes.
Hello readers i need a HRS in pakistan plz suggest me proper clinic or doctor and pre-eliminary tests or precautions required for it and its side or after effects i shall be gratefull to u all.
Hello sameer here Dr. Faisal. you can contact 03247613682 for hymenoplasty without pain. just 30 minutes operate time. Rs. 30000/- total dues.
Hi. We do hymenoplasty at very low cost and with complet privacy . Expert plastic surgeon perform this at our clinic in Pakistan. Plz contact 03315319868
plz twll me is there any hymen surgery available in pakistan??
03333134305
If a Muslim girl has lost her virginity to some one. Then it’s her fault.
Why do it in first place.
It’s alright that not born with it. But to ask to restore it!. Who they lie to!. Since they say they are Muslim and believe in God.
Most Muslim girls they wear hijab and under that they wear jeans tight wear. When tere away few miles. And not seen by their relatives or parents they will take it off.
Personally I say you did it so you shouldn’t be worry about any any one. At least you should be worry about some one who’s watching you from above.
Dr Fatimma or who ever you are. Your good example to the rest.
Peace. Don’t do it and you won’t regret it. Plus you can’t hide from your sins or lies they will always find you no matter you about them.
And if a Khan happened to rape her – then it is also her fault, Mr. Khan? May Allah help you all – I really feel very very negative when I heard the kind of comments some of you write on this website. Not all of you, but some of you… No wonder so many girls today want to marry outside of their communities. Wallahi this is everyone’s collective fault, not just their own. If this is how the desi & Muslim men think, I am not surprised girls commit suicide or shoot their husbands after years of emotional & physical torture. Elhamdulillah for my parents!!!
hello doctor where is ur clinic?
I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my difficulty. You’re amazing!
Thanks!
hellow dear i really want to do virgin surgery if you have virgin surgery please contact me on my number 07404653870 thank you
Hie m really worried my marriage is fixed and i had been sexually forced by a man one year ago… He forcely raped me and and then balckmailed me that he made my vedio i hided it from my parents because he said if i ever say any one he will leak my vedio… I have been going through this stress and now my parents have fixed my marriage and i couldnt tell my fiance that i am not vergin… I really need hymen surgery but the problem is i m poor i can only afford 6000 dhs … I m badly in need of it.. please i beg u all help me in it
Sara, I know this may sound scary but the best option is for you to come clean to your mother (who will probably be more understanding than your father) and explain that someone sexually assaulted you. You should not go through this trauma alone. Please ask someone you trust in your family for help. And keep praying to God to help you out of this difficult situation.
Sara, did you ever manage to get hymen repair surgery? I am really looking for advice on this.. thanks x
The operation in the private clinic off the Champs-Élysées involved one semicircular cut, 10 dissolving stitches and a discounted fee of $2,900.
Dr. Marc Abecassis carries out hymen reconstruction surgery on a 23-year-old French woman of north-African origin.
But for the patient, a 23-year-old French student of Moroccan descent from Montpellier, the 30-minute procedure represented the key to a new life: the illusion of virginity.
Like an increasing number of Muslim women in Europe, she had a hymenoplasty, a restoration of her hymen, the vaginal membrane that normally breaks in the first act of intercourse.
“In my culture, not to be a virgin is to be dirt,” said the student, perched on a hospital bed as she awaited surgery on Thursday. “Right now, virginity is more important to me than life.”
As Europe’s Muslim population grows, many young Muslim women are caught between the freedoms that European society affords and the deep-rooted traditions of their parents’ and grandparents’ generations.
Gynecologists say that in the past few years, more Muslim women are seeking certificates of virginity to provide proof to others. That in turn has created a demand among cosmetic surgeons for hymen replacements, which, if done properly, they say, will not be detected and will produce tell-tale vaginal bleeding on the wedding night. The service is widely advertised on the Internet; medical tourism packages are available to countries like Tunisia where it is less expensive.
“If you’re a Muslim woman growing up in more open societies in Europe, you can easily end up having sex before marriage,” said Dr. Hicham Mouallem, who is based in London and performs the operation. “So if you’re looking to marry a Muslim and don’t want to have problems, you’ll try to recapture your virginity.”
No reliable statistics are available, because the procedure is mostly done in private clinics and in most cases not covered by tax-financed insurance plans.
But hymen repair is talked about so much that it is the subject of a film comedy that opens in Italy this week. “Women’s Hearts,” as the film’s title is translated in English, tells the story of a Moroccan-born woman living in Italy who goes to Casablanca for the operation.
One character jokes that she wants to bring her odometer count back down to “zero.”
“We realized that what we thought was a sporadic practice was actually pretty common,” said Davide Sordella, the film’s director. “These women can live in Italy, adopt our mentality and wear jeans. But in the moments that matter, they don’t always have the strength to go against their culture.”
The issue has been particularly charged in France, where a renewed and fierce debate has occurred about a prejudice that was supposed to have been buried with the country’s sexual revolution 40 years ago: the importance of a woman’s virginity.
The furor followed the revelation two weeks ago that a court in Lille, in northern France, had annulled the 2006 marriage of two French Muslims because the groom found his bride was not the virgin she had claimed to be.
The domestic drama has gripped France. The groom, an unidentified engineer in his 30s, left the nuptial bed and announced to the still partying wedding guests that his bride had lied. She was delivered that night to her parents’ doorstep.
The next day, he approached a lawyer about annulling the marriage. The bride, then a nursing student in her 20s, confessed and agreed to an annulment.
The court ruling did not mention religion. Rather, it cited breach of contract, concluding that the engineer had married her after “she was presented to him as single and chaste.” In secular, republican France, the case touches on several delicate subjects: the intrusion of religion into daily life; the grounds for dissolution of a marriage; and the equality of the sexes.
There were calls in Parliament this week for the resignation of Rachida Dati, France’s justice minister, after she initially upheld the ruling. Ms. Dati, who is a Muslim, backed down and ordered an appeal.
Some feminists, lawyers and doctors warned that the court’s acceptance of the centrality of virginity in marriage would encourage more Frenchwomen from Arab and African Muslim backgrounds to have their hymens restored. But there is much debate about whether the procedure is an act of liberation or repression.
“The judgment was a betrayal of France’s Muslim women,” said Elisabeth Badinter, the feminist writer. “It sends these women a message of despair by saying that virginity is important in the eyes of the law. More women are going to say to themselves, ‘My God, I’m not going to take that risk. I’ll recreate my virginity.’ ”
The plight of the rejected bride persuaded the Montpellier student to have the operation.
She insisted that she had never had intercourse and only discovered her hymen was torn when she tried to obtain a certificate of virginity to present to her boyfriend and his family. She says she bled after an accident on a horse when she was 10.
The trauma from realizing that she could not prove her virginity was so intense, she said, that she quietly borrowed money to pay for the procedure.
“All of a sudden, virginity is important in France,” she said. “I realized that I could be seen like that woman everyone is talking about on television.”
Those who perform the procedure say they are empowering patients by giving them a viable future and preventing them from being abused — or even killed — by their fathers or brothers.
“Who am I to judge?” asked Dr. Marc Abecassis, who restored the Montpellier student’s hymen. “I have colleagues in the United States whose patients do this as a Valentine’s present to their husbands. What I do is different. This is not for amusement. My patients don’t have a choice if they want to find serenity — and husbands.”
A specialist in what he calls “intimate” surgery, including penile enhancement, Dr. Abecassis says he performs two to four hymen restorations per week.
The French College of Gynecologists and Obstetricians opposes the procedure on moral, cultural and health grounds.
“We had a revolution in France to win equality; we had a sexual revolution in 1968 when women fought for contraception and abortion,” said Dr. Jacques Lansac, the group’s leader. “Attaching so much importance to the hymen is regression, submission to the intolerance of the past.”
But the stories of the women who have had the surgery convey the complexity and raw emotion behind their decisions.
One Muslim born in Macedonia said she opted for the operation to avoid being punished by her father after an eight-year relationship with her boyfriend.
“I was afraid that my father would take me to a doctor and see whether I was still a virgin,” said the woman, 32, who owns a small business and lives on her own in Frankfurt. “He told me, ‘I will forgive everything but not if you have thrown dirt on my honor.’ I wasn’t afraid he would kill me, but I was sure he would have beaten me.”
In other cases, the woman and her partner decide for her to have the operation. A 26-year-old French woman of Moroccan descent said she lost her virginity four years ago when she fell in love with the man she now plans to marry. But she and her fiancé decided to share the cost of her $3,400 operation in Paris.
She said his conservative extended family in Morocco was requiring that a gynecologist — and family friend — there examine her for proof of virginity before the wedding.
“It doesn’t matter for my fiancé that I am not a virgin — but it would pose a huge problem for his family,” she said. “They know that you can pour blood on the sheets on the wedding night, so I have to have better proof.”
The lives of the French couple whose marriage was annulled are on hold. The Justice Ministry has sought an appeal, arguing that the decision has “provoked a heated social debate” that “touched all citizens of our country and especially women.”
At the Islamic Center of Roubaix, the Lille suburb where the wedding took place, there is sympathy for the woman.
“The man is the biggest of all the donkeys,” said Abdelkibir Errami, the center’s vice president. “Even if the woman was no longer a virgin, he had no right to expose her honor.
The operation in the private clinic off the Champs-Élysées involved one semicircular cut, 10 dissolving stitches and a discounted fee of $2,900.
Enlarge This Image
Ed Alcock for The New York Times
Dr. Marc Abecassis carries out hymen reconstruction surgery on a 23-year-old French woman of north-African origin.
But for the patient, a 23-year-old French student of Moroccan descent from Montpellier, the 30-minute procedure represented the key to a new life: the illusion of virginity.
Like an increasing number of Muslim women in Europe, she had a hymenoplasty, a restoration of her hymen, the vaginal membrane that normally breaks in the first act of intercourse.
“In my culture, not to be a virgin is to be dirt,” said the student, perched on a hospital bed as she awaited surgery on Thursday. “Right now, virginity is more important to me than life.”
As Europe’s Muslim population grows, many young Muslim women are caught between the freedoms that European society affords and the deep-rooted traditions of their parents’ and grandparents’ generations.
Gynecologists say that in the past few years, more Muslim women are seeking certificates of virginity to provide proof to others. That in turn has created a demand among cosmetic surgeons for hymen replacements, which, if done properly, they say, will not be detected and will produce tell-tale vaginal bleeding on the wedding night. The service is widely advertised on the Internet; medical tourism packages are available to countries like Tunisia where it is less expensive.
“If you’re a Muslim woman growing up in more open societies in Europe, you can easily end up having sex before marriage,” said Dr. Hicham Mouallem, who is based in London and performs the operation. “So if you’re looking to marry a Muslim and don’t want to have problems, you’ll try to recapture your virginity.”
No reliable statistics are available, because the procedure is mostly done in private clinics and in most cases not covered by tax-financed insurance plans.
But hymen repair is talked about so much that it is the subject of a film comedy that opens in Italy this week. “Women’s Hearts,” as the film’s title is translated in English, tells the story of a Moroccan-born woman living in Italy who goes to Casablanca for the operation.
One character jokes that she wants to bring her odometer count back down to “zero.”
“We realized that what we thought was a sporadic practice was actually pretty common,” said Davide Sordella, the film’s director. “These women can live in Italy, adopt our mentality and wear jeans. But in the moments that matter, they don’t always have the strength to go against their culture.”
The issue has been particularly charged in France, where a renewed and fierce debate has occurred about a prejudice that was supposed to have been buried with the country’s sexual revolution 40 years ago: the importance of a woman’s virginity.
The furor followed the revelation two weeks ago that a court in Lille, in northern France, had annulled the 2006 marriage of two French Muslims because the groom found his bride was not the virgin she had claimed to be.
The domestic drama has gripped France. The groom, an unidentified engineer in his 30s, left the nuptial bed and announced to the still partying wedding guests that his bride had lied. She was delivered that night to her parents’ doorstep.
The next day, he approached a lawyer about annulling the marriage. The bride, then a nursing student in her 20s, confessed and agreed to an annulment.
The court ruling did not mention religion. Rather, it cited breach of contract, concluding that the engineer had married her after “she was presented to him as single and chaste.” In secular, republican France, the case touches on several delicate subjects: the intrusion of religion into daily life; the grounds for dissolution of a marriage; and the equality of the sexes.
There were calls in Parliament this week for the resignation of Rachida Dati, France’s justice minister, after she initially upheld the ruling. Ms. Dati, who is a Muslim, backed down and ordered an appeal.
Some feminists, lawyers and doctors warned that the court’s acceptance of the centrality of virginity in marriage would encourage more Frenchwomen from Arab and African Muslim backgrounds to have their hymens restored. But there is much debate about whether the procedure is an act of liberation or repression.
“The judgment was a betrayal of France’s Muslim women,” said Elisabeth Badinter, the feminist writer. “It sends these women a message of despair by saying that virginity is important in the eyes of the law. More women are going to say to themselves, ‘My God, I’m not going to take that risk. I’ll recreate my virginity.’ ”
The plight of the rejected bride persuaded the Montpellier student to have the operation.
She insisted that she had never had intercourse and only discovered her hymen was torn when she tried to obtain a certificate of virginity to present to her boyfriend and his family. She says she bled after an accident on a horse when she was 10.
The trauma from realizing that she could not prove her virginity was so intense, she said, that she quietly borrowed money to pay for the procedure.
“All of a sudden, virginity is important in France,” she said. “I realized that I could be seen like that woman everyone is talking about on television.”
Those who perform the procedure say they are empowering patients by giving them a viable future and preventing them from being abused — or even killed — by their fathers or brothers.
“Who am I to judge?” asked Dr. Marc Abecassis, who restored the Montpellier student’s hymen. “I have colleagues in the United States whose patients do this as a Valentine’s present to their husbands. What I do is different. This is not for amusement. My patients don’t have a choice if they want to find serenity — and husbands.”
A specialist in what he calls “intimate” surgery, including penile enhancement, Dr. Abecassis says he performs two to four hymen restorations per week.
The French College of Gynecologists and Obstetricians opposes the procedure on moral, cultural and health grounds.
“We had a revolution in France to win equality; we had a sexual revolution in 1968 when women fought for contraception and abortion,” said Dr. Jacques Lansac, the group’s leader. “Attaching so much importance to the hymen is regression, submission to the intolerance of the past.”
But the stories of the women who have had the surgery convey the complexity and raw emotion behind their decisions.
One Muslim born in Macedonia said she opted for the operation to avoid being punished by her father after an eight-year relationship with her boyfriend.
“I was afraid that my father would take me to a doctor and see whether I was still a virgin,” said the woman, 32, who owns a small business and lives on her own in Frankfurt. “He told me, ‘I will forgive everything but not if you have thrown dirt on my honor.’ I wasn’t afraid he would kill me, but I was sure he would have beaten me.”
In other cases, the woman and her partner decide for her to have the operation. A 26-year-old French woman of Moroccan descent said she lost her virginity four years ago when she fell in love with the man she now plans to marry. But she and her fiancé decided to share the cost of her $3,400 operation in Paris.
She said his conservative extended family in Morocco was requiring that a gynecologist — and family friend — there examine her for proof of virginity before the wedding.
“It doesn’t matter for my fiancé that I am not a virgin — but it would pose a huge problem for his family,” she said. “They know that you can pour blood on the sheets on the wedding night, so I have to have better proof.”
The lives of the French couple whose marriage was annulled are on hold. The Justice Ministry has sought an appeal, arguing that the decision has “provoked a heated social debate” that “touched all citizens of our country and especially women.”
At the Islamic Center of Roubaix, the Lille suburb where the wedding took place, there is sympathy for the woman.
“The man is the biggest of all the donkeys,” said Abdelkibir Errami, the center’s vice president. “Even if the woman was no longer a virgin, he had no right to expose her honor.
HRS has been proving a boon for medical business.Even due to environmental changes, and world wide women forums, the attitude of muslim males has not changed. They are forcing muslim females to go for HRS or use artificial hymen kit.
Hi Readers,
HRS and artificial hymen kit has a big market in Pakistan. Though openly this is criticized but in the back drop of scenario, the business is getting flourished in all gynecological centers.
Satyen says: February 10, 2013 at 5:37 pm
All Muslim girls,
Live the life stress free and with respect without any repentance for the past. If you feel you have done something which you shouldn’t have done, just beg apology from Allah and try not to do it over again. That’s all you need to do. After going through several comments of Muslim women, I feel they have so much premarital stress for their wedding nights. What an irony! The long awaited day which should have been probably the happiest day of life, to be with one who will live together till death, is turned into a D-day! Just get out of it if you can.
Don’t accept any husband looking for a virgin wife and he is himself not. Even if you are a virgin, don’t accept these non-virgin guys looking for the virgin girls.
If you re a non-virgin don’t be scared and go with some one who doesn’t care about your past relationships but only with the future ones. And believe me, there will be many to accept you.
Hymen repair surgery or Hymen kit should be the last resort.
(reposted from https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4332&cpage=1#comment-39425)
A proper and 100% right answer…..
Vist http://www.islam4women.org
Hi readers,
One of the beliefs that emerges from the Koran is the concept of virgins. These virgins reside at the gates of heaven. The Koran further says that these virgins who are referred as houris or hurs will be the reward to the faithful who have spent a lifetime in service of Allah. Chapters 52 to 56 of the Koran mention about these virgins. The Koran only mentions about these virgins,but does not specify any number.
This lacuna is filled by the Hadiths, which specify that the reward for a true follower of Islam will be rewarded with 72 virgins as wived. The Hadiths are the recorded words of Muhammad and also have great religious significance. The Hadiths which are six in number were compiled about 200 years after the death of the Prophet. Thus the importance of the Hadiths cannot be underrated. The Hadiths are supposed to be the exact quotations of the prophet.
The Koran describes the houris. They are very beautiful and fair. They are perpetual virgins and have the god given quality of regenerating their hymens after intercourse. The houris are also buxom and breasts that do not sag. They are hairless except for eyebrows and head. They are reward for the faithful, who have either been martyred or spent a life time obeying the injunctions of Allah. Houris await the faithful at the gates of Paradise. The Hadiths mention that the sweat of these virgins has the smell of musk and they will give eternal love and satisfaction. They will be in addition to the wives on this earth. The Koran also mentions that an unspecified number of boys will also be rewarded to the true believers.
This belief in the Houris and the boys as sacred and cannot be questioned. This concept of the houris is a tremendous motivating influence in Islam.
Hi sisters,
A heated debate has been witnessed about hymen repair surgtery with the majority of respondents (mostly Muslims living in the West) suggesting she should not even bother with the accusations of others as they are baseless in Islam. Of course this information is correct but it does not take into account the reality of the consequences a woman may face if she is thought not to be a virgin. When a woman’s life is literally at risk in such situations, then she should definitely think about this issue and decide how she will handle it. In fact, all women should think about it because it might not be you in this situation but your daughter, sister or friend one day in the future. Are we (the women) going to allow the misinformation to continue by teaching our daughters how to use animal blood and other false techniques to ensure their husbands see blood, or are we going to take the steps necessary in order to educate men and women both about this very important issue? Apparently, it is not even enough that the husband be educated in the field of obstetrics and gynecology (as evidenced by the professor): a major, widespread effort is needed to combat this deep-rooted ignorance.
Western (non-Muslim) feminists often fail in their efforts to educate other societies about such issues because they approach the situation from the wrong direction, one which Muslims find offensive. They do not take into account the attrocities of the Islamic religion which state that women should be pure at the time of first marriage;(no compulsion for male to be virgin),they often suggest that women should be liberated from this idea and allowed to date and have boyfriends with whom they may choose to be intimate. This idea is unacceptable in Islam, and it should not have a place in the movement to educate Muslims openly but indirectly male indulge in such extra marital sexual matter and insist women to be virgin about the nature of the hymen. Instead, the focus should be on scientific facts and on understanding the true Islamic position on this matter.
Another mistake nuslims often make is to blame and criticize women community to oppress women. We have already seen this in the Western movement to abolish female genital mutilation: in the beginning of this movement the world was informed that this abhorrent practice is an Islamic ritual that Muslim women must undergo as a matter of religious obligation when the fact is that this practice is un-Islamic and has its roots in pre-Islamic African traditions. While some Muslim women are circumcised, it is because Islam asked them to do that but because they live in a society in which religious knowledge has taken second place to cultural practices. With regards to the hymen issue, it is Islam to be blamed, and what’s more: this problem is limited to the Islamic world including women in Asia, South America, and even Europe and North America still believe in the myth of the hymen: just ask your mothers and grandmothers.
All Muslims have a responsibility to fight ignorance and oppression. If you are a Muslim, the least you can do to educate others about this issue is to start with your own family…make sure that your sons and daughters both have correct information before they get married. Open the subject with your husbands, mothers, aunts and friends as much as you can within the limits of good taste as it is not always acceptable to discuss such topics openly (depending on the culture.)
If you work in the healthcare industry, find opportunities to educate your patients even if they come to your office for another type of healthcare concern. One way to do this might be to prepare a general package of healthcare pamphlets for each patient, and the hymen can be one of the subjects covered. This way you are not embarassing or offending anyone, but you are still getting the word out. If you work in a multi-cultural society, do not forget to have the information printed in more than one language.
Hymen reconstruction, a surgery that repairs a hymen that is no longer intact, is controversial but that doesn’t stop more and more women from having it done.
The hymen is a tissue in vagina that tears and bleeds when one has sex for the first time. The hymen can also be “broken” by strenuous exercise, the use of tampons and other activity can cause the membrane to tear.
So what does it matter? Who cares if the hymen is intact or not? Well, in some cultures, men do. In cultures where virginity is highly prized, it matters a great deal if the hymen is intact and if there is bleeding on the wedding night. It may be an old fashioned way of thinking, but some men expect their bride to be a virgin and there can be extreme consequences in some countries.
Rather than stay a virgin, women are opting to experience sex before marriage, then have the hymen reconstructed. The surgery isn’t terribly expensive, around $800 in China, where it is becoming more common. Muslim countries also have a large number of women seeking the procedure.
More about hymen reconstruction surgery, and one man’s explaination of why women are “like cell phones” and why his future wife should be a virgin.
I am kind-hearted, sort of religious, I pray, I don’t lie, but losing my virginity has turned my life upside down. How it happened is a long story but the most important thing now is that this incident has turned my life into a living hell.
I feel bad and I have been punishing myself for such a shameful thing. I know that I am not a good girl and that God is not happy with me or what I have done. This is why I decided to wear the veil. I hate it and I hate how I look and feel while wearing it but I put it on because it protects me from people staring at me or gossiping about me. I feel that everyone knows my deep dark secret and I am hiding my shame behind my veil.”
The worst for hundreds women in our region is to be killed or punished unfairly every year in the because of the Virginity issue , while there is no many voices as an Iraqi female I heard when she refused to be one of long list of victims: “The whole issue of doubting a woman’s virginity is insulting. If my husband wants to take me to the Forensic Department to make sure I am a virgin, then I do not need such a man to start a life with nor have children with.”
*Academic and researcher from Iraq
Hi sisters,
In Islamic Egypt brides use hymen kits to “prove” virginity
The hymen is a vaginal membrane which normally ruptures and bleeds at
the first intercourse. For Egyptian Muslims and in other Islamic
countries it is assurance that the bride was truly a virgin. It is
customary
for a new groom to soak a handkerchief in the blood, step out of the
honeymoon chamber, and proudly wave it to a crowd of friend eagerly
awaiting the verdict. If this does not happen, the bride may be
abandoned.
That could be the case if a menstruation has already removed the
hymen,
yet a virgin girl may face rejection because she did not bleed.
God! What will make these animals at least part-way human? And when?
“Conservatives condemn the Artificial Virginity Hymen Kit as
technology that will promote promiscuity. Others say the furor over
the device raises disturbing questions about double standards.”
By Jeffrey Fleishman and Amro Hassan
October 7, 2009
Reporting from Cairo – Whether it’s seen as a clever little gadget to
help a woman keep a secret or a devilish deception that threatens
Islam, the Artificial Virginity Hymen Kit is not welcome in Egypt.
The kit allows a bride who is not a virgin to pretend that she is. A
pouch inserted into the vagina on her wedding night ruptures and leaks
a blood-like liquid designed to trick a new husband into believing
that his wife is chaste. It’s a wink of ingenuity to soothe a man’s
ego and keep the dowry intact.
Egyptian conservatives condemn the device as technology that will
promote promiscuity in a culture that forbids premarital sex. Their
protests are arising in a nation that over the last 40 years has gone
from miniskirts and secularism to hijabs and religious devotion. But
seldom have conservatives faced such brazen advertising.
“No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can
have your first night back any time,” states the website of Gigimo, a
Chinese mail-order company that sells the kit and other sexual
products, including sex dolls and bondage toys, worldwide. “Add in a
few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable.”
Members of the Muslim Brotherhood, which controls 20% of the seats in
Egypt’s parliament, have called for banning the kit and arresting
anyone selling it on the black market. Cleric Abdul Moeti Bayoumi has
issued a fatwa urging that peddlers of the $29.90 device be charged
with banditry and punished for spreading immorality and sin.
“Egyptian girls are normally afraid to lose their virginity before
marriage,” Sayed Askar, a lawmaker and member of the Muslim
Brotherhood, recently told parliament. “A product like that can make
it easier and tempting for girls who don’t have strong wills to commit
such a sin. It will be a crying shame and a blot on the government if
they allow the selling of this product in our markets.”
Lina Samaan, an accountant, said the furor raises disturbing questions
about her country and the double standards that often apply to women:
“I think it’s a shame that we are discussing a product like this. If
most girls don’t have sex prior to marriage only because they want to
keep virginity, then there is something wrong with the way we think,”
she said. “Sex is a right for every woman but unfortunately we started
turning to products like these because men — even non-religious ones
who have sex before marriage — wouldn’t marry a girl if she’s not
virgin.”
The emotion over the kit speaks to a traditional society that is
increasingly pious, whether it’s rich professionals seeking moderate
Islam on websites of progressive imams or poor and middle-class
families adopting strict religion as a buttress to the influence of
Western media and a loss of confidence in a state that has failed to
provide prosperity.
The government of President Hosni Mubarak is troubled by
ultraconservative Islam imported from Saudi Arabia and the Persian
Gulf. Egypt’s leading Muslim cleric, Mohammed Sayed Tantawi, is
considering forbidding the niqab, or face veil, at the university and
schools run by Al Azhar, Sunni Islam’s top educational institution. A
similar edict barring nurses from wearing niqabs has been loosely
enforced.
The Egyptian media quoted Tantawi telling a student that the “niqab
has nothing to do with Islam. . . . I know about religion better than
you and your parents.”
Many parents, however, did not grow up with the economic and social
problems that their children face. Single women have traditionally
lived with their families until they found a husband. But today’s
inflation, joblessness and poverty are forcing many couples to delay
marriage until money is saved and dowries are accumulated. With men
and women single longer, dating, breakups and natural impulses
challenge religion and tradition.
“Having something like the virginity kit can cause complete mayhem
within the Egyptian social life,” said Farid Ismael, a member of
parliament’s health committee. “It can lead to the spreading of vice
and the loss of all the good morals and values we had and that totally
contradicts with our Islamic beliefs.”
The kit — like surgical repairs to the hymen that Middle Eastern
women have relied upon for years — is marketed to offer a sleight of
hand. Such secrets keep prospective brides in the graces of their
families and avoid what in rare cases are honor killings of women
accused of promiscuity.
Choosing to have “sex or not is something every girl and woman should
decide regardless of the society’s perspective toward her,” said
Samaan, the accountant. “Even if she is religious then she shouldn’t
do it because of her religious belief and not in fear of other people
or fear that she will not get married if she’s not a virgin.”
“If a girl decided to have sex before marriage,” she added, “then God
already knows it and she shouldn’t hide it from anyone else.”
Hello readers,another evil of islamic relgion against women?
VEILED CRIMES Some victims have been subjected to Halala an excruciating two to eight times. Sometimes a close friend of the husband or even the brother obliges.
Holding a placard that says ‘Halala is nothing but the vilest of rapes’, the frail and waif-like Rubaiya Ahmad shudders as she recalls the darkest night in 35 years of her life – when she allowed another man into her bed.
“I felt totally numb and dead inside. But that was the only option left to reclaim my two sons, “she says.”Moreover, the Maulvi sahib had warned me that no one would participate in my funeral procession and my family would be ostracised if I flouted the Shari’a’s command. ”
Jalal, Rubiya’s “husband” for one night, was not particularly bothered about her turmoil. He was there for a purpose – to help his close friend salvage his marriage. A night after the Nikah and the mandatory consummation, he divorced Rubaiya without a fuss.
It has been seven years since Rubaiya got back with her first husband, but the horror of Halala has stayed on. “I feel as if the man I married died the day someone else defiled my body,” she declares with vehemence. Her only concern now is to ensure somehow that her sons never get to know about the humiliation their mother faced, for “it would shatter them, or worse, they may blame me for the episode”.
Last week’s meeting held by the Bharatiya Muslim Mahila Andolan (BMMA) proved to be a catharsis of sorts for two dozen-odd victims of mental violence – namely Halala and triple Talaq. “Many who went through this could not gather enough courage to come out and face the world,” says BMMA president Naish Hasan.
Last week, Naish created ripples in conservative Lucknow by dashing off a letter to the octogenarian president of the All India Muslim Personal Law Board. Pressing for inclusion of women’s issues on the agenda in its next executive meeting, it pointedly demanded a ban on Halala and triple Talaq, apart from recommending a codification of the Sharia to escape misinterpretation. “The response from AIMPLB, was as anticipated – nil, ” says Naish.
In her letter, Naish mentioned seven victims who were subjected to Halala an excruciating two to eight times. One of them is Zainab Rubaiya whose husband literally turned her into a prostitute “He would pronounce ‘Talaq Talaq Talaq’ when drunk, when annoyed, when fired from his job, when clubbed by the beat constable or when I stopped his mother from hitting me with a ladle, ” she says. “Any occasion was good enough to boot me out. ”
Zainab recollects that after every Halala, her husband would weep, standing alongside their children. “I bore Halala seven times. It’s a terrible feeling to walk down the road, knowing that everyone in the Mohalla keeps a count of your moles and curves, “she says, teary-eyed. For women like Munni, whose brother-in-law volunteered for Halala, the situation is even more humiliating. “Imagine facing him every day and pretending to be normal, ” she says.
Contrary to the popular belief that Halala is confined to the rural belt, Naish claims that she has listed 11 such cases in the last two months in Lucknow alone. “However, women in the city are turning rebellious, “she says. “Some of them have walked out of the marriage after Halala was ordered – in fact, one woman begs in the Imambara as she believes that begging is more respectable than getting raped every sixth months. ”
The number of Halalas is on the rise, confirms Kamal Khan, a Lucknow-based journalist. Interestingly, Halala is also fraught with risks for the men now – there are instances where the second husband has violated the terms of a fixed Halala and refused to part with the woman, often because she was prettier than his own wife. “So caution is the key word now, ” claims Kamal, who is making a documentary on the practice and has even recorded details of a Halala service run by Maulvis in Ghazipur and Faizabad. “The cleric in Akbarpur has inherited a lucrative business from his father. He conducts the marriage and divorce ceremonies. The business is growing, “he says.
According to Khan, Halala-fixing is nowhere mentioned in Islam. The provision is made for “ittifaqan Talaq” by the second husband – meaning the woman can remarry the first husband if the second husband genuinely divorces her and the move is not carried out under a well-calculated strategy. The way it is followed today, the practice is totally against the spirit of Islam, ” he says.
Zainab has a suggestion that she is too timid to air publicly. “If a man divorces his wife and then wants her back, let him be flogged, skinned or even sodomised,” she says. Why should the poor woman be made to suffer instead? What kind of justice is this? Even animals don’t mate on order. ”
WHAT IS HALALA
“After pronouncing Talaq, the wife becomes haram for the husband. If he wants to remarry the same woman, the rules are set – once the mandatory Iddat period of three months and 13 days gets over, the woman has to get married to someone else. This marriage has to be consummated. After the second husband divorces the woman, the first husband is free to marry her once again after three months and 13 days. However, Halala-fixing is strictly prohibited in Islam. “Maulana Khalid Rashid Firangimahali
Muslims would have us believe that Islam was spread peacefully by Muslims traveling from country to country, city to city, door to door preaching the teachings of Peace and Love and Goodness from Allah and His Messenger.
This is not what happened.
Obeying the teachings of Islam – Muslims fell upon the infidel civilizations and peoples with unimaginable savagery and rivers of blood flowed across the pages of human history.
Islam is coated in blood of the innocents. In the past 1400 years, Islam has murdered 270,000,000 nonbelievers.
80 million Hindus killed.
60 million Christians were slaughtered
10 million Buddhists died.
120 million Africans butchered
As stated countless times already – ALL Muslims MUST believe the Koran is the divine word of God – the Laws of God. All Muslims MUST believe that God authored the Koran and a copy of the Koran is in heaven. The Koran remains for all Muslims, not just “fundamentalists,” the uncreated word of God Himself. It is valid for all times and places forever; its ideas are absolutely true and beyond all criticism. To question it is to question the very word of God, and hence blasphemous. A Muslim’s duty is to believe it and obey its divine commands without question.
Muslim can be murdered (beheaded) for doing any of the following:
Reviling Allah or his Messenger; (2) being sarcastic about ‘Allah’s name, His command, His interdiction, His promise, or His threat’; (3) denying any verse of the Quran or ‘anything which by scholarly consensus belongs to it, or to add a verse that does not belong to it’; (4) holding that ‘any of Allah’s messengers or prophets are liars, or to deny their being sent’; (5) reviling the religion of Islam; (6) being sarcastic about any ruling of the Sacred Law; (7) denying that Allah intended ‘the Prophet’s message . . . to be the religion followed by the entire world.’
To any rational, normal person reading the teachings of the Koran (and these are just a small sample of the 1000’s and 1000’s of the teachings of hate, terror, cruelty, depravity etc that is Islam) the claim by Muslims that they are reading the words, teachings, laws of God – that the Koran is authored by God and a copy of the Koran rests in Heaven is insanity.
There is no Islamic fundamentalism, Islamo – fascism, political Islam, Islamic terrorists, Islamic militants, jihadists, Wahhabism, radical Islam etc who have hijacked the religion. There has been no hijacking. These demented souls are following EXACTLY the teachings of the Koran – they are following in the footsteps of their founder – the man of evil – Muhammad. In the end – IT’S ALL ABOUT ISLAM STUPID INFIDEL.
ISLAM IS AN EVIL TOTALITARIAN IDEOLOGY NOT A RELIGION
Islam is a declaration of war against infidels. Islam is an ideology of WAR. The Koran is a BOOK OF WAR. Allah is a GOD OF WAR. This war is permanent until all the infidels have converted, or paid a submission tax or have been murdered. These are the ETERNAL LAWS OF ALLAH AS SET DOWN IN THE KORAN
Infidels can be murdered by Muslims as an ETERNAL LAW OF ALLAH. Not only can they all be murdered but the wives and daughters of the murdered infidels can be taken as booty, raped, and then sold as slaves. Their sons can be sold into slavery. If there is any doubt as to the boy’s age of puberty – Muslims can pull down their pants and inspect their genital area for hairs. Even the slightest sign of hair growth means that these young men can be taken and beheaded. As an ETERNAL LAW OF ALLAH, Muslims can then loot and pillage the property of the murdered infidels, and must share the booty obtained from the sale of boys and women and the proceeds of looting with ALLAH. Muslims can own slaves as an ETERNAL LAW OF ALLAH. Slavery has been a central part of Islam since it’s creation by Muhammad. ALL THIS EVIL ARE THE ETERNAL LAWS OF ALLAH AS SET DOWN IN THE KORAN. THESE LAWS OF ALLAH ARE FOREVER. Not only that but righteous Muslims who slay and are slain murdering infidels can ascend as martyrs to the evil, sexually degenerate, depraved Islamic Paradise of eternal erections and virgins who re – generate as virgins after each sex act. THIS IS THEIR ETERNAL REWARD FOR OBEYING THESE EVIL LAWS OF ALLAH.
Again, the above ETERNAL LAWS OF ALLAH allow murder, slavery, looting and pillaging and if you are killed in the process of obeying these Laws then you can ascend to a paradise of full breasted, lustrous eyed virgins to sexually molest for all eternity. ALLAH permits the raping of female slaves. As already shown in Islam – rape is not just a sexual weapon – it is a weapon of war. Having murdered the woman’s man, Muslims can now – sanctioned by ETERNAL LAWS OF ALLAH complete their final humiliation and domination of her body.
Unlimited sex and money were powerful motivations for Muslims to grab their swords, climb on their horses and ride off into the sunset to bring war, death and destruction to the infidels.
India paid an horrific price. The world famous historian, Will Durant has written in his Story of Civilization that “the Mohammedan conquest of India was probably the bloodiest story in history”.
Buddhism was devastated.
Persia’s civilization disappeared from history.
The holocaust of slavery was imposed on large parts of black Africa. Slavery has been an integral part of Islam since its creation by Muhammad. Islam institutionalized slavery and made its existence legal and an ETERNAL LAW of ALLAH (read articles relating to slavery further in this Website). Islam was a major player in the black African slave trade – an historical fact not well known today. Also not taught is the fact that 1.5 million Europeans were taken as slaves by Muslims.
The fact that throughout Islam’s history, this slaughter of the innocents in the worst ways imaginable, murdered in the name of and to the greater glory of God is an obscenity. The so called men of ALLAH responsible for this carnage who have – through the millenniums – for Power, Domination, and Control of society unleashed this evil deserve to be in Hell.
To take man’s natural Concept of God, a conception of Peace and Love and Goodness – an all Wise, all merciful, all Loving God for all mankind, and turn God – by bastardizing his teachings into a murderous ALLAH (the ANTI GOD) of hate, terror, intolerance, death and destruction is one of the greatest sins that can be committed against God. Islam will remain forever a black historical stain smearing all human history.
Imam Dr Taj Hargey, chairman of the Muslim Educational Centre in Oxford, called on the Muslim community to try to reverse the trend.
He said: ‘The situation is very common in the Middle East where there is a huge scandal that can lead to divorce or even honour killings if there are not bloodstained bed sheets after the wedding night.
‘It is very disappointing that Muslim women in this country feel they need to lead a double life, resorting to subterfuge surgery.
‘That is not conducive to either their psychological or spiritual health and it is hypocrisy and double standards because Muslim men are doing as they please with women.’
There have been calls for a ban on NHS surgeons carrying out the operations for women wanting to marry as virgins.
But a Department of Health spokesman insisted that hymen repair operations take place on the NHS only to ensure a patient’s physical or psychological health.
She said: ‘The NHS does not fund hymen repair operations for cultural reasons. All operations on the NHS are on the basis of clinical need.
‘Operations to repair the hymen are only carried out exceptionally to secure physical or psychological demand.
Hello Satyenji,
We are missing your rational comments on Hymen Repair surgery or using artificial hymen kit by muslim girls to avoid disgrace on wedding night.
Please comment on it.
Hi Admn. and muslim sisters,
Millions of thanks to all of you for posting such a good collection of texts based on realities and uncivilized character of muslim society to make girls to lead a miserable and disgraceful life.
What a discriminatory attitude, males need not to be virgin, but females should be virgin irrespective of marrying so many girls previously?
Hell to such mentally sick and made islamic people?
An Iranian woman wants to save her future husband from ‘Infamy’ and ‘disgraced woman.’ The Muslims of Kurdish persuasion present their bloody sheet to the parents after the wedding night.
“Many of the Muslim woman have had sexual intercourse several times, then comes the wedding and the reality catches up with them.”
It has happened that a Muslim girl has been raped by her family and then forced to prove her virginity.
There are cases when the restoration of the Muslim hymen is the only option due to the health concerns of the Muslim woman. The human rights organization, Terre des Femmes, disagrees on the hymenorrhaphie issue.
“The social significance of virginity is often utilized to deny women their sexual freedom and to restrict their lifestyles.”
Dr. Teenhardt has long worked with Muslim women seeking hymen restoration. It usually turns out that the Muslim women know very little about their own bodies and sexuality. “If I tell them that hymen does not necessary guarantee bleeding, or that some Muslim girls are born without a hymen, they’re very surprised.”
The gynecologist teaches the Muslim women how virginity can be faked.
In cases where the Muslim woman is in great distress and afraid of deadly honor violence, the doctor is prepared to perform the outpatient surgery. “We want to prevent mental and physical suffering.” The cost is about 200 euros.
How many thousands of hymen restoration operations are done in Europe is unknown. The demand is huge, shows the offers by plastic surgeons, some charging up to 2100 euros for the procedure.
One advert promises: For only 24.95 Euros (including shipping) you can save your honor.
The tips and addresses are also provided by Internet forums. “My gynecologist operates in outpatient basis and it will cost only 100 euros,” writes a Muslim woman.
Dr, Tennhardt emphasizes that much more important than tip for doctors and cost is to tackle the issue of Muslim woman through societal shift of thinking. The young Muslim women should be encouraged to demand their right to fuck anyone, anytime, anywhere.
Life Saving Surgery
Restoring virgiinty @ £2,000 pounds
My virginity was restored in a delicate operation just last week, and I honestly view it as life-saving surgery,” says Aisha.
“If my husband cannot prove to his family that I am a virgin, I would be hounded, ostracised and sent home in disgrace. My father, who is a devout Muslim, would regard it as the ultimate shame.
“The entire family could be cast out from the friends and society they hold dear, and I honestly believe that one of my fanatically religious cousins or uncles might kill me in revenge, to purge them of my sins. Incredible as it may seem, honour killings are still accepted within our religion.
“Ever since my family arranged this marriage for me, I’ve been terrified that, on my wedding night, my secret would come out. It has only been since my surgery last week that I’ve actually been able to sleep properly. Now, I can look forward to my marriage.” says Iranian girl so confidently, not worried at all.
Virgin Territory (Hymen restoration surgeries in Syria)
News of artificial hymens hitting the regional market led to huge debate in Egypt and resulted in an official ban on the product. The reaction in Syria, by contrast, was surprisingly mild.
When rumours of artificial hymens being imported into Syria first began to circulate last summer, few believed they could be true. Yet when Syrian journalist Souror Nasraldeen began researching the product, she soon discovered that the Gigimo Artificial Virginity Hymen kit was indeed no hoax – for just USD 15 Syrian women could now win back their virginity in the space of 20 minutes. Made in Japan and distributed by a Chinese company called Gigimo, the kit, which can be bought online, consists of a pouch which is to be inserted 20 minutes before sexual intercourse and leaks a blood-like substance when broken.
“No more worry about losing your virginity,” the Gigimo website says in broken English. “With this product, you can have your first night back anytime.”
Outraged by the concept, Nasraldeen published one of the first articles in the region about the device in Day Press, a Syrian daily news website, last August. “The artificial hymen is the product of an old mentality which links honour to a woman’s virginity, that’s why I’m completely against it,” she told Syria Today. “This product creates unbalanced families which are built on lies right from the wedding night. I wanted my article to be a wake-up call.”
Muted public reaction
While Syria’s state-run media paid little attention to the story, internet users did and the article racked up a huge number of hits on the Day Press website. Yet while most Syrian internet users seemed relatively accepting of the product, finding it intriguing at worst, controversy in the Egyptian blogosphere began to mount.
“There were many angry men making comments who feared that this product would encourage women to lie about their virginity,” Nasraldeen said. “Some even accused Day Press of promoting the product.”
When BBC Arabic, Radio Netherlands Worldwide and Egypt’s press latched on to the article – and the device – the storm grew. In Egypt, conservative politicians and religious figures instigated a debate which grew so intense that the Ministry of Health officially banned the import of the product into the country.
By contrast, the Syrian authorities did not even comment. And what little public reaction there was in the country took a much milder tone, focusing on the issue of virginity and virtue. “Many people said the problem was not with the product itself, but with the promotion of the idea that a woman’s virginity is a good measure of her morality,” Nasraleen said.
One month after the article was published Sham FM dedicated an hour and a half of its talk show Hiwar al-Yawm (Today’s Dialogue) to the importance of virginity before marriage, a topic rarely discussed openly in Syrian society or the media.
“Most of the phone calls to the show were by men, some of whom felt angry and deceived by the idea that a woman might fake her virginity,” Qusay ‘Amama, producer and presenter of the radio show, said. One such caller was Ammar, a young man from Jobar, who discovered after nine years of marriage that his wife used to sleep with men from the Gulf for money and had pretended to be a virgin on their wedding night.
“I can’t divorce her because we already have three children but I can’t bear living with her anymore,” he said “I feel so betrayed.”
Other callers expressed more liberal views. “I don’t care whether the woman I marry is a virgin or not.” Ahmad Hamada said. “It’s superficial to measure honour by a piece of skin.”
The argument for legalisation
For many Syrians, the concept behind the Gigimo Artificial Hymen kit is nothing new. Hymen restoration surgery, while rarely spoken about, has long been carried out in the country.
“Syrian doctors have been mending hymens for ages, this artificial hymen is only the latest trend in the world of virginity reconstruction in Syria,” Da’ed Mousa, a Syrian lawyer specialising in family law and women’s issues, said. “I don’t know why people would make such a big fuss about it now.”
Doctors point out, however, that unlike hymen restoration surgery, the risks of using an artificial hymen are still unknown. According to its advertising, the Gigimo Artificial Hymen kit is made of natural albumen glue and methylcellulose. Apart from this, however, there is a complete absence of medical information about the product.
“This product has been manufactured for commercial purposes and I don’t know what it’s made of,” Jury el-Tali, a Syrian gynaecologist, said. “I certainly don’t recommend using it.”
With this in mind, Mohammad Habash, Syrian MP and head of the Islamic Studies Centre in Damascus, told Day Press that if the artificial hymen is being brought into the country anyway, it would be better for Syria’s Ministry of Health to legally import it. This way, he claims, the ministry could test the product to see if it meets the country’s health standards. Furthermore, it could also restrict the distribution of the product to women who lost their virginity as a result of rape, accident or because of health issues.
Like Habash, Mahmoud ‘Akkam, a mufti from Aleppo, defends a woman’s right to reconstructive surgery.
“Reconstructing your virginity is a personal issue and women are free to do whatever they want with their bodies as long as it doesn’t put their health at risk,” ‘Akkam said.
“Unfortunately we live in a society which stigmatises women who lose their virginity before marriage; therefore they should have the right to surgery or to use such products. If a woman has had premarital sex, however, she shouldn’t lie to her husband and deceive him by using a fake hymen, especially if virginity is an issue for him.”
This moderate response by religious figures, coupled with the local press’s indifference towards the issue, is why little controversy has mounted over the device in Syria, according to ‘Amama.
“The Egyptian press and religious figures provoked Egyptians by launching a fierce campaign against smuggling the artificial hymen into the Syrian and Egyptian markets,” ‘Amama said. “It was a kind of propaganda against the artificial hymen that didn’t take hold in Syria.”
Ahmad Barkawi, professor of philosophy and social sciences at the University of Damascus, says the issue stirred up little controversy because of the lack of a dominant conservative trend in society.
He believes that had the artificial hymen appeared on the Syrian market 10 years ago, however, the reaction would have been different.
“While I wouldn’t say that Syrian society is growing more liberal, the growing demand for different methods of virginity reconstruction during the last 10 years does signal a change in young Syrians’ attitude to sex,” he said.
“They want to have premarital sex without confronting Syria’s largely traditional society. Now they can say: ‘You want an intact hymen? Here, have a Chinese one’.”
thoughts on “Virgin Territory (Hymen restoration surgeries it’s a revelation to read an article discussing women virginity in Syrian press
it draws an image of a different Syria, not the Syria I left 13 years ago.
men from different walks of life not shying away from the topic and basically saying “get over it, there is bigger issues in life”
I hope what I read is representative of a large portion of Syrian society this days
it makes me feel like I want to be part of a such progressive and dynamic society, knowing how taboo was women virginity issue only 13 years ago
Young Syrians are indeed more open and willing to talk about issues that used to be a taboo a decade ago and a large portion has liberal views.
However, truth be told, while this large portion of Syrian society is growing more liberal, an equal portion is growing more conservative. Yet society maintains a healthy balance as neither trends have prevailed so far. And what’s more important, both parties are tolerant to each other.
“If a woman has had premarital sex, however, she shouldn’t lie to her husband and deceive him by using a fake hymen, especially if virginity is an issue for him.”
Now that’s pure bullshit! The most likely reason a woman would undergo this kind of surgery is if she believes that for her husband virginity matters. If it did not matter to her husband, she has no business doing the surgery in the first place!
Virginity is something which has its own importance. It is sacred for someone and a normal body part for someone else. In some of the cultures, people consider it necessary to be present before marriage. These days it is very common that people lose their virginity at an early stage.
However, it has been seen that the trend has been reversed these days. People are trying to regain their virginity with the help of science. The technique which is used to regain the virginity or at times known as hymen repair is hymenoplasty.
Whenever a person involves in intercourse, the hymen get disrupted resulting in loss of virginity. It is not always that hymen break due to intercourse, these days people are indulging in lots of physical exercises which at times become reason of breakage of hymen and loss of virginity.
Hymenoplasty is nothing but repairing of the hymen which is present at the vaginal opening. It is not all women in the world which indulge in the act of Hymenoplasty. Whenever a person wishes to indulge in Hymenplasty, she must consult the doctor immediately.
Research has shown that there are basically three kinds of women who are indulged in Hymenoplasty. These are:
* The women who are culturally and religiously bound – there are certain religion in the world which considers that virginity should not be loosed before marriage and if done it is considered as a sin.
* Those women who have lost their virginity due to certain tragic happening in their lives such as rape, sexual ill treatment etc;
* Another kind of women that need to indulge in Hymenoplasty are those women who are in relationship for long and wants to gift there would be husband with no virginity loss.
Thus, mainly these kinds of women who normally indulge in Hymenoplasty.
The duration of conducting Hymenoplasty depends upon the doctor. It is not a surgery which takes place for long duration. It is short treatment which is normally for an about 30-45 minutes. The stiches which are used during the treatment generally take 8 weeks to dissolve completely.
Cost Of Hymenoplasty
The cost of Hymenoplasty can be high for someone and low for another one depending upon her financial status. Normally the price ranges between $2,500 and $6,000 (USD).
Type of hymen repair
There are various types of Hymen repair treatment available. Such as:
* Simple Hymenoplasty: in this kind of treatment the tear portion of the hymen is joined together by piecing it together. In this the hymen tissue is pulled in order to close the vagina. There is no symptoms that generate after the surgery that is infection or fever.
* Alloplant: it is done when the abovementioned technique is not applicable. In this a tear is inserted which behaves like a Hymen Repair.
Though the treatment of Hymenoplasty is very simple but still it is advisable to undergo the treatment of Hymenoplasty by some experienced physician in order to get everything well and on time. The doctor must have performed the treatment before also to get the accuracy. If anything goes wrong it results in unnecessary pain and unnecessary wastage of time and energy.
Hymen Reconstruction Surgery Gains Popularity among muslim girls
Hymen reconstruction, a surgery that repairs a hymen that is no longer intact, is controversial but that doesn’t stop more and more women from having it done.
The hymen is a tissue in vagina that tears and bleeds when one has sex for the first time. The hymen can also be “broken” by strenuous exercise, the use of tampons and other activity can cause the membrane to tear.
So what does it matter? Who cares if the hymen is intact or not? Well, in some cultures, men do. In cultures where virginity is highly prized, it matters a great deal if the hymen is intact and if there is bleeding on the wedding night. It may be an old fashioned way of thinking, but some men expect their bride to be a virgin and there can be extreme consequences in some countries.
Rather than stay a virgin, women are opting to experience sex before marriage, then have the hymen reconstructed. The surgery isn’t terribly expensive, around $800 in China, where it is becoming more common. Muslim countries also have a large number of women seeking the procedure.
More about hymen reconstruction surgery, and one man’s explaination of why women are “like cell phones” and why his future wife should be a virgin
My mother used purdah. She wore a burqa with a net cover in front of the face. It reminded me of the meatsafes in my grandmother’s house. One had a net door made of cloth, the other of metal. But the objective was the same: keeping the meat safe. My mother was put under a burqa by her conservative family. They told her that wearing a burqa would mean obeying Allah.
Women too have sexual urges. So why didn’t Allah start the purdah for men? Clearly, He treated them on unequal terms.
And if you obey Allah, He would be happy with you and not let you burn in hellfire. My mother was afraid of Allah and also of her own father. He would threaten her with grave consequences if she didn’t wear the burqa. She was also afraid of the men in the neighbourhood, who could have shamed her. Even her husband was a source of fear, for he could do anything to her if she disobeyed him.
As a young girl, I used to nag her: Ma, don’t you suffocate in this veil? Don’t you feel all dark inside? Don’t you feel breathless? Don’t you feel angry? Don’t you ever feel like throwing it off? My mother kept mum. She couldn’t do anything about it. But I did. When I was sixteen, I was presented a burqa by one of my relatives. I threw it away.
The custom of purdah is not new. It dates back to 300 BC. The women of aristocratic Assyrian families used purdah. Ordinary women and prostitutes were not allowed purdah. In the middle ages, even Anglo-Saxon women used to cover their hair and chin and hide their faces behind a cloth or similar object. This purdah system was obviously not religious. The religious purdah is used by Catholic nuns and Mormons, though for the latter only during religious ceremonies and rituals. For Muslim women, however, such religious purdah is not limited to specific rituals but mandatory for their daily life outside the purview of religion.
A couple of months ago, at the height of the purdah controversy, Shabana Azmi asserted that the Quran doesn’t say anything about wearing the burqa. She’s mistaken. This is what the Quran says:
“Tell the faithful women that they must keep their gaze focused below/on the ground and cover their sexual organs. They must not put their beauty and their jewellery on display. They must hide their breasts behind a purdah. They must not exhibit their beauty to anybody except their husbands, brothers, nephews, womenfolk, servants, eunuch employees and children. They must not move their legs briskly while walking because then much of their bodies can get exposed.” (Sura Al Noor 24:31)
“Oh nabi, please tell your wives and daughters and faithful women to wear a covering dress on their bodies. That would be good. Then nobody can recognise them and harrass them. Allah is merciful and kind.” (Sura Al Hijaab 33: 59)
Even the Hadis –a collection of the words of Prophet Mohammed, his opinion on various subjects and also about his work, written by those close to him– talks extensively of the purdah for women. Women must cover their whole body before going out, they should not go before unknown men, they should not go to the mosque to read the namaaz, they should not go for any funeral.
There are many views on why and how the Islamic purdah started. One view has it that Prophet Mohammed became very poor after spending all the wealth of his first wife. At that time, in Arabia, the poor had to go to the open desert and plains for relieving themselves and even their sexual needs. The Prophet’s wives too had to do the same. He had told his wives that “I give you permission to go out and carry out your natural work”. (Bukhari Hadis first volume book 4 No. 149). And this is what his wives started doing accordingly. One day, Prophet Mohammed’s disciple Uman complained to him that these women were very uncomfortable because they were instantly recognisable while relieving themselves. Umar proposed a cover but Prophet Mohammed ignored it. Then the Prophet asked Allah for advice and he laid down the Ayat (33:59) (Bukhari Hadis Book 026 No. 5397).
This is the history of the purdah, according to the Hadis. But the question is: since Arab men too relieved themselves in the open, why didn’t Allah start the purdah for men? Clearly, Allah doesn’t treat men and women as equals, else there would be purdah for both! Men are higher than women. So women have to be made walking prisons and men can remain free birds.
Another view is that the purdah was introduced to separate women from servants. This originates from stories in the Hadis. One story in the Bukhari Hadis goes thus: After winning the Khyber War, Prophet Mohammed took over all the properties of the enemy, including their women. One of these women was called Safia. One of the Prophet’s disciples sought to know her status. He replied: “If tomorrow you see that Safia is going around covered, under purdah, then she is going to be a wife. If you see her uncovered, that means I’ve decided to make her my servant.”
The third view comes from this story. Prophet Mohammed’s wife Ayesha was very beautiful. His friends were often found staring at her with fascination. This clearly upset the Prophet. So the Quran has an Ayat that says, “Oh friends of the prophet or holy men, never go to your friend’s house without an invitation. And if you do go, don’t go and ask anything of their wives”. It is to resist the greedy eyes of friends, disciples or male guests that the purdah system came into being. First it was applicable to only the wives of the holy men, and later it was extended to all Muslim women. Purdah means covering the entire body except for the eyes, wrist and feet. Nowadays, some women practise the purdah by only covering their hair. That is not what is written in the Hadis Quran. Frankly, covering just the hair is not Islamic purdah in the strict sense.
In the early Islamic period, Prophet Mohammed started the practice of covering the feet of women. Within 100 years of his death, purdah spread across the entire Middle East. Women were covered by an extra layer of clothing. They were forbidden to go out of the house, or in front of unknown men. Their lives were hemmed into a tight regime: stay at home, cook, clean the house, bear children and bring them up. In this way, one section of the people was separated by purdah, quarantined and covered.
Why are women covered? Because they are sex objects. Because when men see them, they are roused. Why should women have to be penalised for men’s sexual problems? Even women have sexual urges. But men are not covered for that. In no religion formulated by men are women considered to have a separate existence, or as human beings having desires and opinions separate from men’s. The purdah rules humiliate not only women but men too. If women walk about without purdah, it’s as if men will look at them with lustful eyes, or pounce on them, or rape them. Do they lose all their senses when they see any woman without burqa?
My question to Shabana and her supporters, who argue that the Quran says nothing about purdah is: If the Quran advises women to use purdah, should they do so? My answer is, No. Irrespective of which book says it, which person advises, whoever commands, women should not have purdah. No veil, no chador, no hijab, no burqa, no headscarf. Women should not use any of these things because all these are instruments of disrespect. These are symbols of women’s oppression. Through them, women are told that they are but the property of men, objects for their use. These coverings are used to keep women passive and submissive. Women are told to wear them so that they cannot exist with their self-respect, honour, confidence, separate identity, own opinion and ideals intact. So that they cannot stand on their own two feet and live with their head held high and their spine strong and erect.
Some 1,500 years ago, it was decided for an individual’s personal reasons that women should have purdah and since then millions of Muslim women all over the world have had to suffer it. So many old customs have died a natural death, but not purdah. Instead, of late, there has been a mad craze to revive it. Covering a woman’s head means covering her brain and ensuring that it doesn’t work. If women’s brains worked properly, they’d have long ago thrown off these veils and burqas imposed on them by a religious and patriarchal regime.
What should women do? They should protest against this discrimination. They should proclaim a war against the wrongs and ill-treatment meted out to them for hundreds of years. They should snatch from the men their freedom and their rights. They should throw away this apparel of discrimination and burn their burqas.
أَمَّا يَسُوعُ فَمَضَى إِلَى جَبَلِ الزَّيْتُونِ. ثُمَّ حَضَرَ أَيْضاً إِلَى الْهَيْكَلِ فِي الصُّبْحِ وَجَاءَ إِلَيْهِ جَمِيعُ الشَّعْبِ فَجَلَسَ يُعَلِّمُهُمْ. وَقَدَّمَ إِلَيْهِ الْكَتَبَةُ وَالْفَرِّيسِيُّونَ امْرَأَةً أُمْسِكَتْ فِي زِناً. وَلَمَّا أَقَامُوهَا فِي الْوَسَطِ قَالُوا لَهُ: «يَا مُعَلِّمُ هَذِهِ الْمَرْأَةُ أُمْسِكَتْ وَهِيَ تَزْنِي فِي ذَاتِ الْفِعْلِ وَمُوسَى فِي النَّامُوسِ أَوْصَانَا أَنَّ مِثْلَ هَذِهِ تُرْجَمُ. فَمَاذَا تَقُولُ أَنْتَ؟» قَالُوا هَذَا لِيُجَرِّبُوهُ لِكَيْ يَكُونَ لَهُمْ مَا يَشْتَكُونَ بِهِ عَلَيْهِ. وَأَمَّا يَسُوعُ فَانْحَنَى إِلَى أَسْفَلُ وَكَانَ يَكْتُبُ بِإِصْبِعِهِ عَلَى الأَرْضِ. وَلَمَّا اسْتَمَرُّوا يَسْأَلُونَهُ انْتَصَبَ وَقَالَ لَهُمْ: «مَنْ كَانَ مِنْكُمْ بِلاَ خَطِيَّةٍ فَلْيَرْمِهَا أَوَّلاً بِحَجَرٍ!» ثُمَّ انْحَنَى أَيْضاً إِلَى أَسْفَلُ وَكَانَ يَكْتُبُ عَلَى الأَرْضِ. وَأَمَّا هُمْ فَلَمَّا سَمِعُوا وَكَانَتْ ضَمَائِرُهُمْ تُبَكِّتُهُمْ خَرَجُوا وَاحِداً فَوَاحِداً مُبْتَدِئِينَ مِنَ الشُّيُوخِ إِلَى الآخِرِينَ. وَبَقِيَ يَسُوعُ وَحْدَهُ وَالْمَرْأَةُ وَاقِفَةٌ فِي الْوَسَطِ. فَلَمَّا انْتَصَبَ يَسُوعُ وَلَمْ يَنْظُرْ أَحَداً سِوَى الْمَرْأَةِ قَالَ لَهَا: «يَا امْرَأَةُ أَيْنَ هُمْ أُولَئِكَ الْمُشْتَكُونَ عَلَيْكِ؟ أَمَا دَانَكِ أَحَدٌ؟» فَقَالَتْ: «لاَ أَحَدَ يَا سَيِّدُ». فَقَالَ لَهَا يَسُوعُ: «ولاَ أَنَا أَدِينُكِ. اذْهَبِي وَلاَ تُخْطِئِي أَيْضاً». ثُمَّ كَلَّمَهُمْ يَسُوعُ أَيْضاً قَائِلاً: «أَنَا هُوَ نُورُ الْعَالَمِ. مَنْ يَتْبَعْنِي فلاَ يَمْشِي فِي الظُّلْمَةِ بَلْ يَكُونُ لَهُ نُورُ الْحَيَاةِ». فَقَالَ لَهُ الْفَرِّيسِيُّونَ: «أَنْتَ تَشْهَدُ لِنَفْسِكَ. شَهَادَتُكَ لَيْسَتْ حَقّاً». أَجَابَ يَسُوعُ: «وَإِنْ كُنْتُ أَشْهَدُ لِنَفْسِي فَشَهَادَتِي حَقٌّ لأَنِّي أَعْلَمُ مِنْ أَيْنَ أَتَيْتُ وَإِلَى أَيْنَ أَذْهَبُ. وَأَمَّا أَنْتُمْ فلاَ تَعْلَمُونَ مِنْ أَيْنَ آتِي وَلاَ إِلَى أَيْنَ أَذْهَبُ. أَنْتُمْ حَسَبَ الْجَسَدِ تَدِينُونَ أَمَّا أَنَا فَلَسْتُ أَدِينُ أَحَداً. وَإِنْ كُنْتُ أَنَا أَدِينُ فَدَيْنُونَتِي حَقٌّ لأَنِّي لَسْتُ وَحْدِي بَلْ أَنَا وَالآبُ الَّذِي أَرْسَلَنِي. وَأَيْضاً فِي نَامُوسِكُمْ مَكْتُوبٌ: أَنَّ شَهَادَةَ رَجُلَيْنِ حَقٌّ. أَنَا هُوَ الشَّاهِدُ لِنَفْسِي وَيَشْهَدُ لِي الآبُ الَّذِي أَرْسَلَنِي». فَقَالُوا لَهُ: «أَيْنَ هُوَ أَبُوكَ؟» أَجَابَ يَسُوعُ: «لَسْتُمْ تَعْرِفُونَنِي أَنَا وَلاَ أَبِي. لَوْ عَرَفْتُمُونِي لَعَرَفْتُمْ أَبِي أَيْضاً». هَذَا الْكلاَمُ قَالَهُ يَسُوعُ فِي الْخِزَانَةِ وَهُوَ يُعَلِّمُ فِي الْهَيْكَلِ. وَلَمْ يُمْسِكْهُ أَحَدٌ لأَنَّ سَاعَتَهُ لَمْ تَكُنْ قَدْ جَاءَتْ بَعْدُ. قَالَ لَهُمْ يَسُوعُ أَيْضاً: «أَنَا أَمْضِي وَسَتَطْلُبُونَنِي وَتَمُوتُونَ فِي خَطِيَّتِكُمْ. حَيْثُ أَمْضِي أَنَا لاَ تَقْدِرُونَ أَنْتُمْ أَنْ تَأْتُوا» فَقَالَ الْيَهُودُ: «أَلَعَلَّهُ يَقْتُلُ نَفْسَهُ حَتَّى يَقُولُ: حَيْثُ أَمْضِي أَنَا لاَ تَقْدِرُونَ أَنْتُمْ أَنْ تَأْتُوا؟» فَقَالَ لَهُمْ: « أَنْتُمْ مِنْ أَسْفَلُ أَمَّا أَنَا فَمِنْ فَوْقُ. أَنْتُمْ مِنْ هَذَا الْعَالَمِ أَمَّا أَنَا فَلَسْتُ مِنْ هَذَا الْعَالَمِ. فَقُلْتُ لَكُمْ إِنَّكُمْ تَمُوتُونَ فِي خَطَايَاكُمْ لأَنَّكُمْ إِنْ لَمْ تُؤْمِنُوا أَنِّي أَنَا هُوَ تَمُوتُونَ فِي خَطَايَاكُمْ». فَقَالُوا لَهُ: «مَنْ أَنْتَ؟» فَقَالَ لَهُمْ يَسُوعُ: «أَنَا مِنَ الْبَدْءِ مَا أُكَلِّمُكُمْ أَيْضاً بِهِ. إِنَّ لِي أَشْيَاءَ كَثِيرَةً أَتَكَلَّمُ وَأَحْكُمُ بِهَا مِنْ نَحْوِكُمْ لَكِنَّ الَّذِي أَرْسَلَنِي هُوَ حَقٌّ. وَأَنَا مَا سَمِعْتُهُ مِنْهُ فَهَذَا أَقُولُهُ لِلْعَالَمِ». وَلَمْ يَفْهَمُوا أَنَّهُ كَانَ يَقُولُ لَهُمْ عَنِ الآبِ. فَقَالَ لَهُمْ يَسُوعُ: «مَتَى رَفَعْتُمُ ابْنَ الإِنْسَانِ فَحِينَئِذٍ تَفْهَمُونَ أَنِّي أَنَا هُوَ وَلَسْتُ أَفْعَلُ شَيْئاً مِنْ نَفْسِي بَلْ أَتَكَلَّمُ بِهَذَا كَمَا عَلَّمَنِي أَبِي. وَالَّذِي أَرْسَلَنِي هُوَ مَعِي وَلَمْ يَتْرُكْنِي الآبُ وَحْدِي لأَنِّي فِي كُلِّ حِينٍ أَفْعَلُ مَا يُرْضِيهِ». وَبَيْنَمَا هُوَ يَتَكَلَّمُ بِهَذَا آمَنَ بِهِ كَثِيرُونَ. فَقَالَ يَسُوعُ لِلْيَهُودِ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا بِهِ: «إِنَّكُمْ إِنْ ثَبَتُّمْ فِي كلاَمِي فَبِالْحَقِيقَةِ تَكُونُونَ تلاَمِيذِي وَتَعْرِفُونَ الْحَقَّ وَالْحَقُّ يُحَرِّرُكُمْ». أَجَابُوهُ: «إِنَّنَا ذُرِّيَّةُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَلَمْ نُسْتَعْبَدْ لأَحَدٍ قَطُّ. كَيْفَ تَقُولُ أَنْتَ: إِنَّكُمْ تَصِيرُونَ أَحْرَاراً؟» أَجَابَهُمْ يَسُوعُ: «الْحَقَّ الْحَقَّ أَقُولُ لَكُمْ: إِنَّ كُلَّ مَنْ يَعْمَلُ الْخَطِيَّةَ هُوَ عَبْدٌ لِلْخَطِيَّةِ. وَالْعَبْدُ لاَ يَبْقَى فِي الْبَيْتِ إِلَى الأَبَدِ أَمَّا الاِبْنُ فَيَبْقَى إِلَى الأَبَدِ. فَإِنْ حَرَّرَكُمْ الاِبْنُ فَبِالْحَقِيقَةِ تَكُونُونَ أَحْرَاراً. أَنَا عَالِمٌ أَنَّكُمْ ذُرِّيَّةُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ. لَكِنَّكُمْ تَطْلُبُونَ أَنْ تَقْتُلُونِي لأَنَّ كلاَمِي لاَ مَوْضِعَ لَهُ فِيكُمْ. أَنَا أَتَكَلَّمُ بِمَا رَأَيْتُ عِنْدَ أَبِي وَأَنْتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ مَا رَأَيْتُمْ عِنْدَ أَبِيكُمْ». أَجَابُوا: «أَبُونَا هُوَ إِبْرَاهِيمُ». قَالَ لَهُمْ يَسُوعُ: «لَوْ كُنْتُمْ أَوْلاَدَ إِبْرَاهِيمَ لَكُنْتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ أَعْمَالَ إِبْرَاهِيمَ! وَلَكِنَّكُمُ الآنَ تَطْلُبُونَ أَنْ تَقْتُلُونِي وَأَنَا إِنْسَانٌ قَدْ كَلَّمَكُمْ بِالْحَقِّ الَّذِي سَمِعَهُ مِنَ اللَّهِ. هَذَا لَمْ يَعْمَلْهُ إِبْرَاهِيمُ. أَنْتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ أَعْمَالَ أَبِيكُمْ». فَقَالُوا لَهُ: «إِنَّنَا لَمْ نُولَدْ مِنْ زِناً. لَنَا أَبٌ وَاحِدٌ وَهُوَ اللَّهُ». فَقَالَ لَهُمْ يَسُوعُ: «لَوْ كَانَ اللَّهُ أَبَاكُمْ لَكُنْتُمْ تُحِبُّونَنِي لأَنِّي خَرَجْتُ مِنْ قِبَلِ اللَّهِ وَأَتَيْتُ. لأَنِّي لَمْ آتِ مِنْ نَفْسِي بَلْ ذَاكَ أَرْسَلَنِي. لِمَاذَا لاَ تَفْهَمُونَ كلاَمِي؟ لأَنَّكُمْ لاَ تَقْدِرُونَ أَنْ تَسْمَعُوا قَوْلِي. أَنْتُمْ مِنْ أَبٍ هُوَ إِبْلِيسُ وَشَهَوَاتِ أَبِيكُمْ تُرِيدُونَ أَنْ تَعْمَلُوا. ذَاكَ كَانَ قَتَّالاً لِلنَّاسِ مِنَ الْبَدْءِ وَلَمْ يَثْبُتْ فِي الْحَقِّ لأَنَّهُ لَيْسَ فِيهِ حَقٌّ. مَتَى تَكَلَّمَ بِالْكَذِبِ فَإِنَّمَا يَتَكَلَّمُ مِمَّا لَهُ لأَنَّهُ كَذَّابٌ وَأَبُو الْكَذَّابِ. وَأَمَّا أَنَا فَلأَنِّي أَقُولُ الْحَقَّ لَسْتُمْ تُؤْمِنُونَ بِي. مَنْ مِنْكُمْ يُبَكِّتُنِي عَلَى خَطِيَّةٍ؟ فَإِنْ كُنْتُ أَقُولُ الْحَقَّ فَلِمَاذَا لَسْتُمْ تُؤْمِنُونَ بِي؟ اَلَّذِي مِنَ اللَّهِ يَسْمَعُ كلاَمَ اللَّهِ. لِذَلِكَ أَنْتُمْ لَسْتُمْ تَسْمَعُونَ لأَنَّكُمْ لَسْتُمْ مِنَ اللَّهِ». فَقَالَ الْيَهُودُ: «أَلَسْنَا نَقُولُ حَسَناً إِنَّكَ سَامِرِيٌّ وَبِكَ شَيْطَانٌ؟» أَجَابَ يَسُوعُ: «أَنَا لَيْسَ بِي شَيْطَانٌ لَكِنِّي أُكْرِمُ أَبِي وَأَنْتُمْ تُهِينُونَنِي. أَنَا لَسْتُ أَطْلُبُ مَجْدِي. يُوجَدُ مَنْ يَطْلُبُ وَيَدِينُ. اَلْحَقَّ الْحَقَّ أَقُولُ لَكُمْ: إِنْ كَانَ أَحَدٌ يَحْفَظُ كلاَمِي فَلَنْ يَرَى الْمَوْتَ إِلَى الأَبَدِ». فَقَالَ لَهُ الْيَهُودُ: «الآنَ عَلِمْنَا أَنَّ بِكَ شَيْطَاناً. قَدْ مَاتَ إِبْرَاهِيمُ وَالأَنْبِيَاءُ وَأَنْتَ تَقُولُ: «إِنْ كَانَ أَحَدٌ يَحْفَظُ كلاَمِي فَلَنْ يَذُوقَ الْمَوْتَ إِلَى الأَبَدِ». أَلَعَلَّكَ أَعْظَمُ مِنْ أَبِينَا إِبْرَاهِيمَ الَّذِي مَاتَ. وَالأَنْبِيَاءُ مَاتُوا. مَنْ تَجْعَلُ نَفْسَكَ؟» أَجَابَ يَسُوعُ: «إِنْ كُنْتُ أُمَجِّدُ نَفْسِي فَلَيْسَ مَجْدِي شَيْئاً. أَبِي هُوَ الَّذِي يُمَجِّدُنِي الَّذِي تَقُولُونَ أَنْتُمْ إِنَّهُ إِلَهُكُمْ وَلَسْتُمْ تَعْرِفُونَهُ. وَأَمَّا أَنَا فَأَعْرِفُهُ. وَإِنْ قُلْتُ إِنِّي لَسْتُ أَعْرِفُهُ أَكُونُ مِثْلَكُمْ كَاذِباً لَكِنِّي أَعْرِفُهُ وَأَحْفَظُ قَوْلَهُ. أَبُوكُمْ إِبْرَاهِيمُ تَهَلَّلَ بِأَنْ يَرَى يَوْمِي فَرَأَى وَفَرِحَ». فَقَالَ لَهُ الْيَهُودُ: «لَيْسَ لَكَ خَمْسُونَ سَنَةً بَعْدُ أَفَرَأَيْتَ إِبْرَاهِيمَ؟» قَالَ لَهُمْ يَسُوعُ: «الْحَقَّ الْحَقَّ أَقُولُ لَكُمْ: قَبْلَ أَنْ يَكُونَ إِبْرَاهِيمُ أَنَا كَائِنٌ». فَرَفَعُوا حِجَارَةً لِيَرْجُمُوهُ. أَمَّا يَسُوعُ فَاخْتَفَى وَخَرَجَ مِنَ الْهَيْكَلِ مُجْتَازاً فِي وَسْطِهِمْ وَمَضَى هَكَذَا.
يوحنا 8
Page Options
Share on facebook Share on twitter Share on email
*
<<
*
*
>>
Show resources
Show Commentary
Add parallel
John 8
King James Version (KJV)
8 Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.
2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.
3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
12 Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.
13 The Pharisees therefore said unto him, Thou bearest record of thyself; thy record is not true.
14 Jesus answered and said unto them, Though I bear record of myself, yet my record is true: for I know whence I came, and whither I go; but ye cannot tell whence I come, and whither I go.
15 Ye judge after the flesh; I judge no man.
16 And yet if I judge, my judgment is true: for I am not alone, but I and the Father that sent me.
17 It is also written in your law, that the testimony of two men is true.
18 I am one that bear witness of myself, and the Father that sent me beareth witness of me.
19 Then said they unto him, Where is thy Father? Jesus answered, Ye neither know me, nor my Father: if ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also.
20 These words spake Jesus in the treasury, as he taught in the temple: and no man laid hands on him; for his hour was not yet come.
21 Then said Jesus again unto them, I go my way, and ye shall seek me, and shall die in your sins: whither I go, ye cannot come.
22 Then said the Jews, Will he kill himself? because he saith, Whither I go, ye cannot come.
23 And he said unto them, Ye are from beneath; I am from above: ye are of this world; I am not of this world.
24 I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins.
25 Then said they unto him, Who art thou? And Jesus saith unto them, Even the same that I said unto you from the beginning.
26 I have many things to say and to judge of you: but he that sent me is true; and I speak to the world those things which I have heard of him.
27 They understood not that he spake to them of the Father.
28 Then said Jesus unto them, When ye have lifted up the Son of man, then shall ye know that I am he, and that I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these things.
29 And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him.
30 As he spake these words, many believed on him.
31 Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed;
32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
33 They answered him, We be Abraham’s seed, and were never in bondage to any man: how sayest thou, Ye shall be made free?
34 Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.
35 And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever.
36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.
37 I know that ye are Abraham’s seed; but ye seek to kill me, because my word hath no place in you.
38 I speak that which I have seen with my Father: and ye do that which ye have seen with your father.
39 They answered and said unto him, Abraham is our father. Jesus saith unto them, If ye were Abraham’s children, ye would do the works of Abraham.
40 But now ye seek to kill me, a man that hath told you the truth, which I have heard of God: this did not Abraham.
41 Ye do the deeds of your father. Then said they to him, We be not born of fornication; we have one Father, even God.
42 Jesus said unto them, If God were your Father, ye would love me: for I proceeded forth and came from God; neither came I of myself, but he sent me.
43 Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word.
44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
45 And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.
46 Which of you convinceth me of sin? And if I say the truth, why do ye not believe me?
47 He that is of God heareth God’s words: ye therefore hear them not, because ye are not of God.
48 Then answered the Jews, and said unto him, Say we not well that thou art a Samaritan, and hast a devil?
49 Jesus answered, I have not a devil; but I honour my Father, and ye do dishonour me.
50 And I seek not mine own glory: there is one that seeketh and judgeth.
51 Verily, verily, I say unto you, If a man keep my saying, he shall never see death.
52 Then said the Jews unto him, Now we know that thou hast a devil. Abraham is dead, and the prophets; and thou sayest, If a man keep my saying, he shall never taste of death.
53 Art thou greater than our father Abraham, which is dead? and the prophets are dead: whom makest thou thyself?
54 Jesus answered, If I honour myself, my honour is nothing: it is my Father that honoureth me; of whom ye say, that he is your God:
55 Yet ye have not known him; but I know him: and if I should say, I know him not, I shall be a liar like unto you: but I know him, and keep his saying.
56 Your father Abraham rejoiced to see my day: and he saw it, and was glad.
57 Then said the Jews unto him, Thou art not yet fifty years old, and hast thou seen Abraham?
58 Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Before Abraham was, I am.
59 Then took they up stones to cast at him: but Jesus hid himself, and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by.
Zahid,s mother also used artificial hymen kit and bleeded fake blood on the wedding night and his father shown blood tainted sheet to all his family member in the morning.
The restoration of Muslim virginity is in demand in Germany. The Muslim women in need of new, unused hymen, are mostly older, 20 to 25-years-old Muslimahs. They come from Turkey, Balkans, Iran and the Arab countries.
The Muslim women call themselves Zeda, Aysegul, Cancun and Samar. They met anonymously on the Internet and discuss the vital issue for them: “I urgently need information on where a Muslim woman can get her hymen sewn restoration; what would it cost – please help me,” writes of them in the lifestyle and health forum. She received many responses within minutes.
On the WWW the Muslim women can share their fears and discuss Muslim issues undisturbed. Only a few could talk about this taboo topic within the family. The loss of virginity in Muslim world is as much disgrace as unwanted pregnancy. The Muslim family honor is equated with the purity of their daughters.
The Berlin’s family planning center receives numerous request for information on Muslim hymen restoration every week. “The demand has increased dramatically,” says Dr. Christiane Tennhardt. The woman are mostly between 20 to 25-years old and came from Turkey, Balkans, Iran and other Arab countries. “Most are not veiled and speak perfect German.”
The parents must be presented with the bloody sheet
Th story is the same: An Iranian woman wants to save her future husband from ‘Infamy’ and ‘disgraced woman.’ The Muslims of Kurdish persuasion present their bloody sheet to the parents after the wedding night.
“Many of the Muslim woman have had sexual intercourse several times, then comes the wedding and the reality catches up with them.”
It has happened that a Muslim girl has been raped by her family and then forced to prove her virginity.
There are cases when the restoration of the Muslim hymen is the only option due to the health concerns of the Muslim woman. The human rights organization, Terre des Femmes, disagrees on the hymenorrhaphie issue.
“The social significance of virginity is often utilized to deny women their sexual freedom and to restrict their lifestyles.”
Dr. Teenhardt has long worked with Muslim women seeking hymen restoration. It usually turns out that the Muslim women know very little about their own bodies and sexuality. “If I tell them that hymen does not necessary guarantee bleeding, or that some Muslim girls are born without a hymen, they’re very surprised.”
The gynecologist teaches the Muslim women how virginity can be faked.
In cases where the Muslim woman is in great distress and afraid of deadly honor violence, the doctor is prepared to perform the outpatient surgery. “We want to prevent mental and physical suffering.” The cost is about 200 euros.
How many thousands of hymen restoration operations are done in Europe is unknown. The demand is huge, shows the offers by plastic surgeons, some charging up to 2100 euros for the procedure.
One advert promises: For only 24.95 Euros (including shipping) you can save your honor.
The tips and addresses are also provided by Internet forums. “My gynecologist operates in outpatient basis and it will cost only 100 euros,” writes a Muslim woman.
Dr, Tennhardt emphasizes that much more important than tip for doctors and cost is to tackle the issue of Muslim woman through societal shift of thinking. The young Muslim women should be encouraged to demand their right to fuck anyone, anytime, anywhere.
Life Saving Surgery
Restoring virgiinty @ £2,000 pounds
My virginity was restored in a delicate operation just last week, and I honestly view it as life-saving surgery,” says Aisha.
“If my husband cannot prove to his family that I am a virgin, I would be hounded, ostracised and sent home in disgrace. My father, who is a devout Muslim, would regard it as the ultimate shame.
“The entire family could be cast out from the friends and society they hold dear, and I honestly believe that one of my fanatically religious cousins or uncles might kill me in revenge, to purge them of my sins. Incredible as it may seem, honour killings are still accepted within our religion.
“Ever since my family arranged this marriage for me, I’ve been terrified that, on my wedding night, my secret would come out. It has only been since my surgery last week that I’ve actually been able to sleep properly. Now, I can look forward to my marriage.”
Hello readers,
Who would have thought a wee little packet of fake blood could threaten to unravel an entire culture. But so great is the threat of the “Artificial Virginity Hymen” — a kit that helps women fake their virginity — that prominent Egyptian conservatives are calling for an all-out ban. Not only that, they are also demanding the exile of anyone who traffics it.
Longtime Broadsheet readers will no doubt remember the item at issue, which is made in China and sold by an online sex shop. Once inserted into the vagina, the gizmo leaks fake blood. The product hasn’t changed since I puzzled over it last year, but the price sure has: It’s selling for a pricey $30, instead of $14.90. It seems the creators have realized that, while similar technology sells for just a couple bucks at a Halloween superstore, they have hit a marketing gold mine. They’ve also hit a cultural nerve.
The kit “encourages illicit sexual relations,” declared Abdel Moati Bayoumi, a respected Egyptian religious scholar, according to the Associated Press. He added: “I think this should absolutely not be allowed to be exported because it brings more harm than benefits. Whoever does it should be punished.” On a similar note, Sheik Sayed Askar said, as the AP paraphrased it, that “the kit will make it easier for Egyptian women to give in to temptation.” On the Muslim Brotherhood Web site, he wrote: “It will be a mark of shame on the ruling party if it allowed this product to enter the market.”
If a woman in the Middle East fails to bleed on her wedding night, she can face shame, abuse and even death. Sure, many women don’t bleed when they lose their virginity. Yes, hymens are often torn through non-sexual activities. True, there exists no way to prove a woman’s virginity. But, la-la-la, they aren’t listening to any of that medically accurate naysaying! Bloody the sheet or else.
The truth is Muslim women are already artificially making that happen, regardless of whether they’re virgins (see above: Virgins don’t always bleed). Outlawing the “Artificial Virginity Hymen” won’t change that. Egyptian women will still have hymenoplasties, which are outlawed in the country but take place nonetheless, get doctors’ certification of chastity — which can be forged or real, at least to the extent that such a thing can be legitimate — or come up with a creative home remedy. Given the high stakes, this will always be the case. To think otherwise is willful denial or utter foolishness, or both.
This is all very sad. The problem is that Muslims will murder their young girls if they bring shame on the family. The shame comes from the edicts of the Koran. This leads to the murder of young Muslim girls.
The problem arises, among many others, is that Muslims have been allowed to settle in a free Western society. Our free society permits Muslim girls to behave in the manner of other non-Muslim girls – in fact the peer pressure must be there to be like others. And when they do, it brings down the wrath of Muslims, including her family. If Muslims were not here, then first, the peer pressure for Muslim girls to behave like free women would not be there. Second, in their own Muslim society, girls would know the consequence of their behaviour, and would desist.
We have done no favours to Muslim girls by letting Muslims into the West. All we have done is to increase the murder rate of Muslim girls. This is not all. As a consequence of the murder, family members end up in jail, thus destroying the whole family. This is a bad situation, in which Muslim families in the West are destroyed as a consequence of doing what their belief tells them to do.
Hello ladies.
So this is fun. If you’ve recently (or not so recently) misplaced your hymen, accidentally damaged it, given it a bit of a tear –or during first sexual encounter with BF,lost virginity, dont worry,we have got the product for you TO SAVE YOUR MARRIED LIFE WITH GRACE AND RESPECT.
DONT WORRY, THIS IS NOT A CHEATING, WHEN YOUR MUSLIM HUSBAND IS EXEMPTED FROM PROVING HIS VIRGINITY, WHY MUSLIM GIRLS ARE ASKED?
This fabulous Artificial Hymen Repair Kit can give you back that little scrap of membrane that you miss so dearly. And no, we’re not joking because you can’t make up stuff this perverse.
In short, this is a delicate sachet of fake blood that you insert into your vagina like a diaphragm and then it ah, dissolves or ‘tears’ during intercourse. Fun!
The Hong Kong producers of this little gem of a product, promise on their website (HymenShop.com – yes, really!) to “restore your virginity in five minutes with this new technologically advanced product. Kiss your deep dark secret goodbye and marry in confidence.”
The Hymen Repair Kit, which you can pick up for a STEAL at just $3.70 Australian, comes in a range of colours including the feisty ‘Joan of Arc Red’ (pictured) and other options such as ‘Dusty Outback Ochre’, ‘Aeroplane Jelly Raspberry’ and ‘Lady Macbeth Crimson.’ (Ok, we made those colours up but you get the gist).
Journalist, Leah Beckman thought she had better try the kit out and see for herself just how it worked. She wrote about the (hilarious) experience for for NY Magazine:
After a brief bedroom warm-up session with my boyfriend, I excuse myself to the bathroom, kit and instructions in hand. I open the first packet and take out what looks like a clear plastic Listerine strip folded into eighths. There is a gruesome amount of bright red liquid inside the folds. I “completely unfold the hymen,” as step No. 4 in the instructions indicates.
Some dried-up flakes of red fall from the plastic. I don’t remember red dust at my original hymen-loss, but maybe every hymen-loss is a snowflake unto itself: a tiny and unique horror story floating in the wintertime of our innocence.
Missionary is the only option here. During the delicate deflowering process there is no need for the Funny Business. As soon as he’s in, I shriek-yodel question after question: Can you feel it? Is it gross? Does it hurt? Should we stop? Are we breaking up? Are you mad at me? What are you thinking about? What about now? Can you feel it? What about now? I sound like a squawking turkey.
My boyfriend answers all of the questions in the order they are received: He can’t feel it. Everything feels normal. He’s not mad. We’re not breaking up. Mostly he’s just thinking about sex. Still can’t feel it. No, not even now.
Soon our banter has dissolved like the fake hymen in my vagina, and we are quiet. Me because I am imagining the Magic School Bus journey my liquefied hymen is making through my body, and him because he is just having regular sex with me, and we generally don’t “riff” when we’re doing that. Then we are done. Our crotches look like the inside of a lava lamp.
Hymen Repair Kit. The contents…
Now of course there is the bigger issue – in some countries around the world, virginity is actually a matter of great import. Women have been killed over less. In fact some Muslim countries have even sought to restrict the importation of the Artificial Hymen Kit but that’s a whole other post…
But for the Australian market? We don’t see a stampede to buy fake hymens. Would you seriously want to stick a piece of red cellophane up your cervix just so you could make a pitch for the ‘thrill’ of first time sex again? We polled the office and there were very few women who put their hands up to re-live the virginity-losing experience.
So if it’s a little dull in the bedroom we suggest that you avoid the whole re-enact-your-virginity thing (regardless of the bargain basement price) and go with something like this or this.
$27.95 Artificial Hymen Virginity Kit – ArtificialHymens.com – Become a virgin again in minutes with the help of the #1 trusted artificial hymen seller on the internet ArtificialHymens.com. artificial hymen, artificial hymen kit, artificial hymen suppliers, artificial hymens, artificial virginity, artificial virginity hymen, artificial virginity hymen kit, artificial virginity kit, buy artificial hymen, buy artificial virginity hymen, buy fake hymen, buy hymen, china hymen, chinese artificial hymen, chinese hymen, chinese hymen kit, chinese virginity kit, china hymen, fake hymen, fake hymen blood, fake hymen for sale, fake hymens, fake virginity, fake virginity kit, faking virginity, how to fake virginity, how to use artificial hymen, hymen kit, joan of arc red, restore virginity, revirgination, revirginization, revirginize, virginity hymen kit, virginity kit, virginity restoration kit
SiteInTheWorld report about Artificialhymens.com, the website has an estimated value of $ 3,701 USD. Popularity at a glance, this site is currently ranked # 3,493,775 in the World based on Alexa and ranked # N/A at Compete. It is getting in approximately 128 pageviews per day. In addition, it has Google Pagerank of 2.
Here is a quick look at server side, this domain is currently hosted at SingleHop on the IP address of 69.175.12.34 on the server that is located in United States. With domain nameservers (DNS): ns1.pipedns.com, ns2.pipedns.com, ns3.pipedns.com.
Proving one more time that when it comes to Muslim women, it’s about headscarves and hymens — in other words, what’s on our heads and what’s between our legs — Egypt is hot and bothered over a Chinese device that fakes female virginity.
It’s reportedly available in Syria for $15 but nobody knows if the gizmo called Gigimo is on sale in Egypt yet. Just the mere thought of a device, which is said to release liquid imitating blood, allowing a woman to fake virginity on her wedding night, has driven some conservatives crazy.
One Egyptian Muslim scholar even went so far as to say that people caught importing the virginity-faking device into the country should face the death penalty and the Muslim Brotherhood, the largest opposition bloc in parliament, want the kit banned on grounds it will encourage promiscuity.
The conservatives are not content that their ideology has put headscarves on the heads of 80 per cent of Egyptian women. Now it’s the horror of uncertainty about that “good girl” they marry.
With all the troubles Egypt faces these days — spiralling cost of living, a president in power for 28 years whose son looks likely to succeed him, etc. — why all the fuss over hymens, real or fake?
Welcome to the hypocrisy and denial that together drum at the heart of conservative religious views on women and chastity. And in the case of Egypt, that conservatism applies equally to Muslims and Christians.
As a Muslim, I know the Qur’an preaches chastity for men and women, but the conservative obsession with women means only females are expected to abide by the prohibition on extramarital sex. This obsession with virginity is shallow at best and deadly at worst.
And it’s built on a lie — people in Egypt are having sex outside of marriage, as they do everywhere. Hymen reconstruction surgery was an option for sexually active women who could afford it.
In less affluent and more rural areas, women have used body parts of animals for blood on the sheets. Now the Gigimo provides a cheaper, cleaner and non-surgical prop to maintain the lie that many men still want to believe.
Truth be told, it’s unlikely Egyptian women will flock to the Gigimo. But it’s been worth it just to watch male hysteria as the made-in-China hymens threatened to smash their virginity god
Chastity can exact a painful price from young Muslim women, forced into lies or surgery to go to the marriage bed as virgins.
Hymen repair, fake virginity certificates and other deceptions, said to be commonplace in some Muslim countries, are practiced in France and elsewhere in Europe, where Muslim girls are more emancipated but still live under rigid codes of family honor.
Such ploys have saved many a young woman from scorn and worse. But they also clash with the more liberal social mores of France and Europe, where some decry it as an attack on human rights.
The procedures are legal but shrouded in silence — “something that passes through nonofficial channels,” via friends or the Internet, said Dr. Nathan Wrobel. “There are circuits that lead women to me.”
‘It’s a secret we share’
Wrobel is one of an unknown number of gynecologists in France who are willing to repair hymens, the membrane usually broken by the first act of sexual intercourse. He was one of the few doctors willing to talk about it.
Wrobel says women come to him having convinced themselves that the procedure will somehow reverse the irreversible. “They tell me, ‘I’ll be a virgin again. You will make me a virgin,’ which in reality is totally false …. It’s a secret we share.”
Other doctors issue false virginity certificates or offer such tricks as spilling a vial of blood on the sheets to fool families into believing the bride has passed their purity bar.
Through the ages, virginity has been prized across religions and cultures, and doctors note that only a few generations back European brides also had to furnish documentary “proof” of chastity.
Broader question
In today’s France, with an estimated 5 million Muslims — the largest such population in western Europe — it’s part of the larger question of how to deal with cultural clashes ranging from head scarves in schools to sexual segregation in swimming pools.
A 2005 government report addressing culture clashes in hospitals, and issued a year after Muslim head scarves were banned from classrooms, briefly mentions the virginity issue, asking doctors to refuse to issue false certificates.
Isabelle Levy, author of “Religion in the Hospital,” decries both certificates and hymen repair, saying deception “increases the moral suffering.”
In Islam, virginity is linked to bridal purity and family honor, said Dalil Boubakeur, head of the Paris Mosque.
He notes that tradition holds that “adre,” virgins, are among the delights of paradise. However, Boubakeur, a doctor and a moderate Muslim, says the Quran does not address premarital virginity, and he is against the deception, counseling bride and bridegroom to confide in each other.
It is not known how many doctors in France or elsewhere in Europe help Muslim women to fake virginity. But in Germany, Turkish Muslim immigrants are increasingly seeking virginity certificates, said Serap Cileli, who survived a forced marriage and now helps victims.
German doctors who do hymen repair are easy to find, according to Sibylle Schreiber, who works with a women’s rights group in Tuebingen, but it’s “a taboo topic really only discussed best friend to best friend.”
Not on the Internet, however, where the desperation in Web forums is palpable. “If you have contacts to help me, I’ll never be able to thank you enough,” writes a woman calling herself Lubna who wants help finding someone to restore her virginity.
Wrobel, who teaches at the University of Paris, says he and another doctor at his clinic in a Paris suburb stitch up seven to eight hymens a month in a 20- to 30-minute operation under general anesthesia that he likens to plastic surgery. He asked that the clinic not be named.
The price, $500, is steep for a young woman in a poor family and possibly unemployed. A German doctor advertising on the Internet charges $1,250.
‘It’s easy to be like a virgin’
Dr. Emmanuelle Piet, who heads the family planning clinics in an area north of Paris where many Muslims live, says she has been issuing a half-dozen virginity certificates a year for three decades.
But instead of hymen repair, she suggests less drastic measures, like spilling blood on the sheet on the wedding night.
“It’s easy to be like a virgin,” she said.
It’s deceptive but “it’s one way to help the girls,” said Piet, a veteran women’s rights advocate. “They are stuck in things so terrible.”
In an interview, a French Muslim woman from the northern Paris suburb of Saint Denis, recounted how she was forced to procure a virginity certificate at age 12 “after my mother surprised me with a friend.” Although nothing had happened between her and the boy, her suspicious brothers beat her up, she said, requesting anonymity.
By age 19 she had lost her virginity and underwent hymen repair before marrying a man who demanded a virgin.
“I wanted to leave home. I took the first one who came along,” the woman said. The marriage ended after five years.
The decision of a French court in Lille to annul a Muslim marriage because the wife was not a virgin has sparked anger in France. It has ignited a reaction from secularists who view the ruling as a threat to “French values”. French Urban Affairs Minister, Fadela Amara, went so far as to say that the the ruling constitutes “a real fatwa against the emancipation and liberty of women.”
The ruling also highlights the challenges faced by many Muslim women in France who have become sexually emancipated while still retaining close connections with the traditional Islamic values upheld by their families. The tension arising from this, is never so intense than when it comes to matters of family honor, particularly as it relates to the importance of a daughter’s virginity when entering into matrimony.
It isn’t unusual for prospective brides to be required to provide evidence of virginity. In some cases women have been required to go for gynecological exams in order to determine virginity status.
Some women are so concerned about the prospect of bringing dishonor to the family and becoming objects of scorn, that they undergo an operation called a “hymenoplasty.” This is a procedure that reconstructs the hymen, the thin membrane usually broken during intercourse. The cost of becoming a faux virgin varies, but in a private clinic in Paris it can cost around $3,000. It should be pointed out that the procedure in France is still relatively rare, as compared to the Middle East and Latin America for example.
Jacques Lansac of the French College of Gynecologists and Obstetricians opposes hymen reconstruction surgery: “Attaching so much importance to the hymen is regression, submission to the intolerance of the past.”
The surgery may create the illusion of virginity, but the marriage will still be based upon willful deception from day one. How does living-a-lie uphold family honor? And if family honor needs to be safeguarded by deception, what value does it have over and above the importance of saving face?
While some Muslim women feel sufficiently pressured that they are willing to make a pretense of being virgins, husbands-to-be are not required to answer for their sexual history. It is a viewpoint that is sexist and out-of-touch with modern realities.
Any mainstream religion, not only Islam, faces the challenge of striking a balance between the social mores of the society in which it operates and traditional religious values. There needs to be a measure of understanding and tolerance, of give and take, otherwise children of future generations are going to remain in a position of conflict – torn between traditional values and a contemporary lifestyle that is more about rights than religious obligations.
The Lille annulment created an uproar because critics view it as a threat to the rights of women. They see it as equating marriage with a commercial transaction that makes the woman appear more like goods that come with a contract, rather than a human being with dignity and value that goes beyond the mere fact of her virgin status.
Justice Minister, Racheda Dati, has announced that the government will be appealing the ruling.
Some of the reaction to the Lille decision has been over-the-top. Some of it has also been fomented by those who seek any excuse to cast Islam in a negative light. To call it a move toward sharia law as some have done, is ridiculous. In fact seen from the woman’s perspective the court did her a favor by annulling her marriage to a much older man who lacked the class to keep matters of the marriage bed private.
Article 180 of the French Civil Code allows for such annulments to take place if a partner fails to fulfill an “essential” part of the pre-marriage arrangement. In the Lille case it was the honesty of the bride that was in question. The ruling wasn’t addressing virginity as an “essential quality” of marriage. Couples of other religions have used Article 180 to obtain annulments in the past.
A number of French Muslims have expressed sympathy for the woman in this case. Abdelkibir Errami, vice president of the Islamic Center of Roubaix, close to Lille where the marriage took place, had this to say:
The man is the biggest of all the donkeys. Even if the woman was no longer a virgin, he had no right to expose her honor. This is not what Islam teaches. It teaches forgiveness.
Some girls are sexually abused at a young age…
A close friend of mine recently opened up and told me she was abused by her cousin at the age of SIX! and the bast*rd was 17. Im not going to go into detail about this but because she was 6 she cant remember how far he went with her.
She never told anyone in her family and now she’s due to get married soon and is totally worried whether she is still a virgin or not. She hasn’t really considered getting any type of surgery done coz she isnt sure, but for girls who are sure, its not their fault. Some pakistani families are very narrow minded and rather then having the whole khandaan find out that the girl was sexually abused its easier for them to take actions such as hymen replacement surgery..
And what about girls who are raped… Personally if i was in a similar situation (allah na kare) I would never ever EVER let my father or brother find out, Imagine the guilt that would over come them for life. Id confide in my mum and get alternative methods to sort me out.
Sorry to hear of this case. We hope she does not get trouble from her in-laws and husband.
This kind of things happen to many, but most keep silent. Read this show:
http://www.satyamevjayate.in/issue02/videos/hY8CyTeegrM/
Child Sexual Abuse
Episode 02: Break The Silence
By Aamir Khan
Muslim countries in the Middle East and north-central Africa lead the world in human trafficking, according to a new U.S. State Department report. Of the 17 countries that were given the “Tier 3″ listing reserved for the worst offenders, nine were Muslim countries or countries with a large Muslim population from these two regions. Tier 3 countries are defined as those “whose governments do not fully comply with the minimum standards” of the Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act of 2008 and “are not making significant efforts to do so.”
The Middle Eastern countries with Tier 3 status are Iran, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Syria. The north-central African countries are Mauritania, Chad, Sudan, Niger and Eritrea, all of which have very large Muslim populations.
Algeria, Libya, Tunisia, Egypt, Iraq, Yemen, Bahrain, Qatar, the UAE and Lebanon are on the Tier 2 Watchlist – one step above Tier 3.
Shyima Hall, 19, was photographed for the State Department report in the windowless garage where she was kept for two years. Shyima was 10 when a wealthy Egyptian couple brought her from a poor village in northern Egypt to work in their home in California. She used to wake before dawn and often worked past midnight ironing clothes, mopping the marble floors and dusting the family’s crystal. She sometimes worked up to 20 hours a day and earned $45 a month. (Photo: Traffic in Persons Report 2009).
The data in the report indicates that Muslim countries in the Middle East and Africa are continuing their centuries-old practice of human trafficking. Historians estimate that between 9 and 14 million black Africans were brought to the Americas in the Atlantic slave trade and between 11 and 18 million black African slaves crossed the Red Sea, Indian Ocean, and Sahara Desert between the Muslim conquests in the 7th century and 1900.
Iran: The report says that “Iran is a source, transit, and destination for men, women, and children trafficked for the purposes of sexual exploitation and involuntary servitude. Iranian women are trafficked internally for the purpose of forced prostitution and forced marriage. Iranian and Afghan children living in Iran are trafficked internally for the purpose of forced marriage, commercial sexual exploitation, and involuntary servitude as beggars or laborers to pay debts, provide income, or support drug addiction of their families. Iranian women and girls are also trafficked to Pakistan, Turkey, Qatar, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates, Iraq, France, Germany, and the United Kingdom for commercial sexual exploitation.”
The State Department report noted that “the Government of Iran does not fully comply with the minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking, and is not making significant efforts to do so. Lack of access to Iran by U.S. Government officials impedes the collection of information on the country’s human trafficking problem and the government’s efforts to curb it.”
North Africa and Middle East: Tier 3 countries are shaded maroon. (Traffic in Persons Report 2009).
Saudi Arabia, the report says, “is a destination country for men and women trafficked for the purposes of involuntary servitude and, to a lesser extent, commercial sexual exploitation. Men and women from Bangladesh, India, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Pakistan, the Philippines, Indonesia, Sudan, Ethiopia, and many other countries voluntarily travel to Saudi Arabia as domestic servants or other low-skilled laborers, but some subsequently face conditions indicative of involuntary servitude, including restrictions on movement, withholding of passports, threats, physical or sexual abuse, and non-payment of wages.
“Some Saudi men have also used legally contracted ‘temporary marriages’ in countries such as Mauritania, Yemen, and Indonesia as a means by which to sexually exploit migrant workers. Females as young as seven years old are led to believe they are being wed in earnest, but upon arrival in Saudi Arabia subsequently become their husbands’ sexual slaves, are forced into domestic labor and, in some cases, prostitution. The Government of Saudi Arabia does not fully comply with the minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking and is not making discernible efforts to do so.”
Syria is “principally a destination country for women and children trafficked for the purposes of domestic servitude and commercial sexual exploitation. Women from Iraq, Eastern Europe, former Soviet states, Somalia, and Morocco are recruited as cabaret dancers and subsequently forced into prostitution after their employers confiscate their passports and confine them to their work premises. A significant number of women and children in the large Iraqi refugee community in Syria are forced into sexual exploitation by criminal gangs or, in some cases, their families. Some desperate Iraqi families reportedly abandon their girls at the border with the expectation that traffickers on the Syrian side would arrange forged documents for the children and ‘work’ in a nightclub or brothel. Iraqi families arrange for young girls to work in clubs and to be “married,” often multiple times, to men for the sole purpose of prostitution.”
Africa: Tier 3 countries are shaded maroon. (Traffic in Persons Report 2009).
In Kuwait, the majority of trafficking victims are from among the over 500,000 foreign women recruited for domestic service work. “Men and women migrate from Nepal, India, Sri Lanka, the Philippines, Indonesia, Pakistan, and Bangladesh in search of work in the domestic and sanitation industries. Although they migrate willingly to Kuwait, upon arrival some are subjected to conditions of forced labor from their ‘sponsors’ and labor agents, such as withholding of passports, confinement, physical sexual abuse and threats of such abuse or other serious harm, and non-payment of wages with the intent of compelling their continued service.”
“Adult female migrant workers are particularly vulnerable, and consequently are often victims of sexual exploitation and forced prostitution. There have been instances of domestic workers who have fled from their employers, lured by the promise of well-paying service industry jobs, and being coerced into prostitution. In other cases, the terms of employment in Kuwait are wholly different from those agreed to in their home countries. The Government of Kuwait does not fully comply with the minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking and is not making sufficient efforts to do so
Hello
Muslim countries in the Middle East and north-central Africa lead the world in human trafficking, according to a new U.S. State Department report. Of the 17 countries that were given the “Tier 3″ listing reserved for the worst offenders, nine were Muslim countries or countries with a large Muslim population from these two regions. Tier 3 countries are defined as those “whose governments do not fully comply with the minimum standards” of the Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act of 2008 and “are not making significant efforts to do so.”
The Middle Eastern countries with Tier 3 status are Iran, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Syria. The north-central African countries are Mauritania, Chad, Sudan, Niger and Eritrea, all of which have very large Muslim populations.
Algeria, Libya, Tunisia, Egypt, Iraq, Yemen, Bahrain, Qatar, the UAE and Lebanon are on the Tier 2 Watchlist – one step above Tier 3.
Shyima Hall, 19, was photographed for the State Department report in the windowless garage where she was kept for two years. Shyima was 10 when a wealthy Egyptian couple brought her from a poor village in northern Egypt to work in their home in California. She used to wake before dawn and often worked past midnight ironing clothes, mopping the marble floors and dusting the family’s crystal. She sometimes worked up to 20 hours a day and earned $45 a month. (Photo: Traffic in Persons Report 2009).
The data in the report indicates that Muslim countries in the Middle East and Africa are continuing their centuries-old practice of human trafficking. Historians estimate that between 9 and 14 million black Africans were brought to the Americas in the Atlantic slave trade and between 11 and 18 million black African slaves crossed the Red Sea, Indian Ocean, and Sahara Desert between the Muslim conquests in the 7th century and 1900.
Iran: The report says that “Iran is a source, transit, and destination for men, women, and children trafficked for the purposes of sexual exploitation and involuntary servitude. Iranian women are trafficked internally for the purpose of forced prostitution and forced marriage. Iranian and Afghan children living in Iran are trafficked internally for the purpose of forced marriage, commercial sexual exploitation, and involuntary servitude as beggars or laborers to pay debts, provide income, or support drug addiction of their families. Iranian women and girls are also trafficked to Pakistan, Turkey, Qatar, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates, Iraq, France, Germany, and the United Kingdom for commercial sexual exploitation.”
The State Department report noted that “the Government of Iran does not fully comply with the minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking, and is not making significant efforts to do so. Lack of access to Iran by U.S. Government officials impedes the collection of information on the country’s human trafficking problem and the government’s efforts to curb it.”
North Africa and Middle East: Tier 3 countries are shaded maroon. (Traffic in Persons Report 2009).
Saudi Arabia, the report says, “is a destination country for men and women trafficked for the purposes of involuntary servitude and, to a lesser extent, commercial sexual exploitation. Men and women from Bangladesh, India, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Pakistan, the Philippines, Indonesia, Sudan, Ethiopia, and many other countries voluntarily travel to Saudi Arabia as domestic servants or other low-skilled laborers, but some subsequently face conditions indicative of involuntary servitude, including restrictions on movement, withholding of passports, threats, physical or sexual abuse, and non-payment of wages.
“Some Saudi men have also used legally contracted ‘temporary marriages’ in countries such as Mauritania, Yemen, and Indonesia as a means by which to sexually exploit migrant workers. Females as young as seven years old are led to believe they are being wed in earnest, but upon arrival in Saudi Arabia subsequently become their husbands’ sexual slaves, are forced into domestic labor and, in some cases, prostitution. The Government of Saudi Arabia does not fully comply with the minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking and is not making discernible efforts to do so.”
Syria is “principally a destination country for women and children trafficked for the purposes of domestic servitude and commercial sexual exploitation. Women from Iraq, Eastern Europe, former Soviet states, Somalia, and Morocco are recruited as cabaret dancers and subsequently forced into prostitution after their employers confiscate their passports and confine them to their work premises. A significant number of women and children in the large Iraqi refugee community in Syria are forced into sexual exploitation by criminal gangs or, in some cases, their families. Some desperate Iraqi families reportedly abandon their girls at the border with the expectation that traffickers on the Syrian side would arrange forged documents for the children and ‘work’ in a nightclub or brothel. Iraqi families arrange for young girls to work in clubs and to be “married,” often multiple times, to men for the sole purpose of prostitution.”
In Kuwait, the majority of trafficking victims are from among the over 500,000 foreign women recruited for domestic service work. “Men and women migrate from Nepal, India, Sri Lanka, the Philippines, Indonesia, Pakistan, and Bangladesh in search of work in the domestic and sanitation industries. Although they migrate willingly to Kuwait, upon arrival some are subjected to conditions of forced labor from their ‘sponsors’ and labor agents, such as withholding of passports, confinement, physical sexual abuse and threats of such abuse or other serious harm, and non-payment of wages with the intent of compelling their continued service.”
“Adult female migrant workers are particularly vulnerable, and consequently are often victims of sexual exploitation and forced prostitution. There have been instances of domestic workers who have fled from their employers, lured by the promise of well-paying service industry jobs, and being coerced into prostitution. In other cases, the terms of employment in Kuwait are wholly different from those agreed to in their home countries. The Government of Kuwait does not fully comply with the minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking and is not making sufficient efforts to do so
Hi I am from Rawalpindi Pakistan and broke my hymn with sexual relations with my boy friend about 3 years and had been regular sex contacts with him. I am now scheduled to marry a guy and my parents have promised them that I am virgin and pure. I am in a little dilema whether I should use artificial hymen kit or get hymen repair surgery, to show blod stains on the wedding night on the bed sheet.
May please advise me.
Hello ladies.
So this is fun. If you’ve recently (or not so recently) misplaced your hymen, accidentally damaged it, given it a bit of a tear – then boy, oh, boy, have we got the product for you.
This fabulous Artificial Hymen Repair Kit can give you back that little scrap of membrane that you miss so dearly. And no, we’re not joking because you can’t make up stuff this perverse.
In short, this is a delicate sachet of fake blood that you insert into your vagina like a diaphragm and then it ah, dissolves or ‘tears’ during intercourse. Fun!
The Hong Kong producers of this little gem of a product, promise on their website (HymenShop.com – yes, really!) to “restore your virginity in five minutes with this new technologically advanced product. Kiss your deep dark secret goodbye and marry in confidence.”
The Hymen Repair Kit, which you can pick up for a STEAL at just $3.70 Australian, comes in a range of colours including the feisty ‘Joan of Arc Red’ (pictured) and other options such as ‘Dusty Outback Ochre’, ‘Aeroplane Jelly Raspberry’ and ‘Lady Macbeth Crimson.’ (Ok, we made those colours up but you get the gist).
Journalist, Leah Beckman thought she had better try the kit out and see for herself just how it worked. She wrote about the (hilarious) experience for for NY Magazine:
After a brief bedroom warm-up session with my boyfriend, I excuse myself to the bathroom, kit and instructions in hand. I open the first packet and take out what looks like a clear plastic Listerine strip folded into eighths. There is a gruesome amount of bright red liquid inside the folds. I “completely unfold the hymen,” as step No. 4 in the instructions indicates.
Some dried-up flakes of red fall from the plastic. I don’t remember red dust at my original hymen-loss, but maybe every hymen-loss is a snowflake unto itself: a tiny and unique horror story floating in the wintertime of our innocence.
Missionary is the only option here. During the delicate deflowering process there is no need for the Funny Business. As soon as he’s in, I shriek-yodel question after question: Can you feel it? Is it gross? Does it hurt? Should we stop? Are we breaking up? Are you mad at me? What are you thinking about? What about now? Can you feel it? What about now? I sound like a squawking turkey.
My boyfriend answers all of the questions in the order they are received: He can’t feel it. Everything feels normal. He’s not mad. We’re not breaking up. Mostly he’s just thinking about sex. Still can’t feel it. No, not even now.
Soon our banter has dissolved like the fake hymen in my vagina, and we are quiet. Me because I am imagining the Magic School Bus journey my liquefied hymen is making through my body, and him because he is just having regular sex with me, and we generally don’t “riff” when we’re doing that. Then we are done. Our crotches look like the inside of a lava lamp.
Hymen Repair Kit. The contents…
Now of course there is the bigger issue – in some countries around the world, virginity is actually a matter of great import. Women have been killed over less. In fact some Muslim countries have even sought to restrict the importation of the Artificial Hymen Kit but that’s a whole other post…
But for the Australian market? We don’t see a stampede to buy fake hymens. Would you seriously want to stick a piece of red cellophane up your cervix just so you could make a pitch for the ‘thrill’ of first time sex again? We polled the office and there were very few women who put their hands up to re-live the virginity-losing experience.
So if it’s a little dull in the bedroom we suggest that you avoid the whole re-enact-your-virginity thing (regardless of the bargain basement price) and go with something like this or this.
YOU WILL BE SURPRIZED TO KNOW THAT OUR SALE OF THIS PRODUCT HAS INCREASED MORE THAN 30 TIMES DURING THE LAST ONE YEAR. CALL GIRLS, PROSTITUTES AND HOSTEL GIRLS ARE USING THIS PRODUCT ON A VERY LARGE SCALE. DURING MARRIAGE SEASON IN PAKISTAN, THE DEMAND OF THIS PRODUCT INCREASES.
My best friend is from morocco, she had sex when we were both in college with a guy . she got engaged last week to a guy her family found her and she asked me how to fake her virginity. i told her she wouldn’t need to because exercise stretching tampons all can break her hymen and she wont necessarily bleed first time but she insisted she had to use blood or something because her fiancee inst very educated on the subject and wouldn’t be amused with any other result then a broken hymen iam really worried for malika and iam willing to send her a fake hymen kit. if i find one that is .. i want to know if they are realistic and if they will cause her any infection or something ?
RIYADH: Khaled never thought a form of temporary marriage would open the door to his happily-ever-after. The 25-year-old Saudi security guard opted to marry Zeinab, also a Saudi, through a Misyar contract ? a kind of marriage under which couples often live separately but get together regularly.
Khaled and Zeinab are among thousands of people who choose Misyar in this ultraconservative kingdom where contact between unrelated men and women is forbidden and extramarital affair regarded as a grave sin.
Misyar is allowed in Sunni Islam and it is legal in Saudi Arabia, the birthplace of Islam and other Middle East countries. But it is traditionally frowned upon and the fact that it leaves the wife financially vulnerable has angered many women?s activists and intellectuals.
After years of study, the influential Makkah-based Islamic Jurisprudence Assembly in April this year declared that Misyar marriage was legal, angering many women?s rights? activists in the Gulf.
Influential Muslim cleric Youssef al-Qaradawi has given his blessing to Misyar, but said there should be at least some form of dowry to provide a guarantee for the wife.
?No doubt it is somehow socially unacceptable, but there is a big difference between what is Islamically valid and what is socially acceptable,? he recently told Al Jazeera television.
Misyar offers an alternative to cash-strapped men who want to avoid lavish weddings but would like a relationship, without incurring the wrath of the morality police.
Under Misyar, the husband is not financially responsible for his wife.
Khaled, who declined to give his full name, admitted he wasn?t serious about commitment when he decided on Misyar.
But now, he and Zeinab are expecting a baby together.
?I thought let?s give it a try … and now I feel like a hero in a romantic film,? he said.
?Misyar reduces marriage to sexual intercourse,? said Hatoun al-Fassi, a female Saudi historian. ?For clerics to allow it is shameful for our religion.?
In regular marriages in Saudi Arabia, men must pay for expensive ceremonies, huge dowries and a home. If the couple divorce, he must pay alimony and child support.
So Misyar appeals to men of reduced means, as well as men looking for a flexible arrangement ? the husband can walk away from a Misyar and can marry other women without informing his first wife.
Wealthy Muslims sometimes contract Misyar when on holiday to allow them to have company of a woman without breaching the tenets of their faith.
This vulnerability has sometimes encouraged abuses: women sometimes act as matchmakers for less than scrupulous men on the prowl for lonely and wealthy spinsters.
Saudi television presenter Rima al-Shamikh said Misyar is the result of frustration among Saudi Arabia?s largely youthful population, bound by a strict religious code but exposed to western lifestyles through the media and Internet.
?Our young people watch the satellite television channels. There is dissatisfaction,? she explained.
?Misyar is a way of getting around the obstacles of marriage in Gulf societies.?
Some scholars say Misyar was practised in the Arabian peninsula during the early days of Islam, when men were often away for months during battles or for trading.
The practice reappeared in the early 19th century in Egypt, where it is known as Urfi marriage and is now very common.
Saudi clerics say Misyar is authorised as long as it meets the basic requirements of sharia, ? consent of both parties, the blessing of the woman?s guardian, the presence of witnesses and a state marriage official.
Advertisements for Saudi men and women seeking Misyar marriage abound on the Internet, recalling the ?lonely hearts? columns popular in Western newspapers.
?I am a 33-year-old Saudi man with acceptable looks seeking to marry a Saudi virgin or a divorcee,? read one posting on a special Misyar website. ?Saudi man seeking divorcee living in Jeddah, no objection to children,? read another.
But not all Misyar couples are in it for the short-term. A few, like Khaled and Zeinab, find Misyar can be a first step to something more durable.
?We got used to each other very quickly,? said Khaled, who has been married for 18 months. ?Then she got pregnant. We couldn?t bear our situation, so we decided to live together for real, not just with Misyar.
Mutah exposed, Iran opens brothels, Shia are allowed to do mutah with sunni girls without their permission?
The Iranian government recently passed legislation which created legal whore-houses, brothels which would be officially liscensed under law as “Chastity Houses.” Such a name is of course the epitome of Orwellian terminology, and the irony of the name should not be lost to anyone.
The Iranian clerics argued that the only way to solve the problem of prostitution is to bring it under state control. In recent weeks, several prominent conservative clerics have proposed that prostitutes be placed in government-run shelters for destitute women to be called “Chastity Houses,” where male customers could briefly “marry” them under the Shia belief of Mutah. These brothels would then be run by the Iranian religious clerics, who would ensure that the couples use contraceptives and protective measures. Proponents of the idea argue that it would “eradicate social corruption” by legitimizing sexual relations between the men and women. Under the plan, the couples would register for a temporary marriage under Iran’s Shia law.
One cleric backing the plan, Ayatollah Mohammed Mousavi Bojnurdi, recently told a newspaper: “We face a real challenge with all these women on the street. Our society is in an emergency situation, so the formation of the Chastity Houses can be an immediate solution to the problem.” He added that the plan “is both realistic and conforms to Sharia [Islamic] law.”
The Cultural Council for Women, a women’s rights group, argue back that such houses would be a “deceitful and thinly disguised” form of prostitution. Reuters recently quoted Shahrbanou Amani, a female parliamentarian, as calling the Chastity Houses “an insult and disrespectful to women.” Particularly discomforting is that there are hundreds of thousands of prostitutes in Tehran alone, and many of them are girls who are poverty-striken and forced into the now legalized prostitution that is so rampant in Iran.
Hi every body,
Here in Kuwait, there is a wide spread use of artificial hymen kit among muslim girls to ensure their married life safe and sound.
It is going to develop a little in addition to cause you to really feel small. Once your enthusiast permeates, it’ll ooze away a liquefied that may seem like body, not an excessive amount but the perfect amount. Add a few moans in addition to groans and you will probably traverse undetected! You can utilize, clinically proven non-toxic to human being possesses absolutely no unwanted side effects, absolutely no pain to use and no hypersensitive reaction. Here’s close-up photo with the Man-made Hymen: Tips on how to utilize Clean the hands totally along with detergent to guarantee the highest possible hygine degree Wide open this Aluminium package in addition to completly happen this Man-made Hymen, next cautiously put it into the vagina in your catalog finger. When the vagina can be dried up, dip this Man-made Hymen within normal water then put it in the vagina because swiftly since you can in your catalog finger Position this Man-made Hymen into the vagina only 15-20 a few minutes ahead of the sex. You should be aware that placing this Man-made Hymen into the vagina anymore than 20 a few minutes ahead of the sex may possibly bring about the goods sacrificing it really is kind in addition to evenually dissolve into the vagina. Last but not least following sex, thoroughly clean this vulva in the phony body. You should be aware that a number of the Man-made Hymen will certainly dissolve into the vagina and will not fallout completly following sexual encunter.
Hello Admn.
Thanks for making exclusive blogs like ISLAMIC WOMEN TODAY AND HYMEN REPAIR SURGERY, the burning issues for muslim girls now a days.
Please make a separate blog for Use of ARTIFICIAL HYMEN KIT, so that more and more educative contribution is made by our learned sisters.
Hi Admn.
I have ready this blog very carefully. Grateful to our sisters writing and pointing out innumerable hardships to them on account of such islamic religion at the cost of females lives.
It is really a horror ful life that muslim girls has to face. I have separately described my life story and sought your advise please about marrying a non muslim guy of my choice.
I am a single Pakistani-American Muslim girl, born and raised in the U.S., and I just turned twenty. I’m very secular, but I believe in God. My immediate family is very much like me, but the rest of our family, who we are very close with, take religion quite seriously. I’m expected to marry a Muslim man someday, which I have absolutely a bigproblem with; I dont want my eventual children raised under this faith.
Here’s my problem: I really, really want to have sex now. I’m twenty, and I’m not a virgin because of sexual reasons with my BF, and that I’m ashamed of my body; it’s simply because I’m afraid I’ll end up marrying an old-fashioned guy who, upon discovering I am not a virgin, will not be interested in me anymore. My fears stem from what I was told about an aunt who was not a virgin when she got married; when her husband discovered that she did not bleed, he kicked her out onto the street, on their wedding night!
I am under great dilema whether I should go for hymen repair surgery or use artificial hymen kid, if married to a muslim guy?
Some times I feel that I could have all the sex I want without any social repercussions, but life just doesn’t work that way; I don’t know any single Muslim men who could accept me with broken hymen.
Please advise.
Please advise Farhana at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4080
Women arrested by the Egyptian police during protests in Cairo’s Tahrir Square were subjected to forced ‘virginity tests’, according to Amnesty International. Eighteen demonstrators were detained after army officers cleared the square on March 9 at the end of weeks of protest. Amnesty today said thatthe women had been beaten, given electric shocks and then subjected to strip searches while being photographed by male soldiers. They were then given ‘virginity checks’ and threatened with prostitution charges if medics ruled they had had sex, according to the charity.
Salwa Hosseini, 20, said she had been arrested and taken to a military prison in Heikstep where she was forced to strip and then searched by a female guard. She told the charity a number of male soldiers were watching through two open doors and a window and it was at that point they took photographs. Miss Hosseini then went on to describe ‘virginity tests‘ being carried out by a man in a white coat. She claims the women were threatened with charges if they were found not to be virgins. Meanwhile Rasha Azeb, a female journalist who arrested in Tahrir Square at the same time, claims that she was handcuffed and beaten by security forces.” source – Daily Mail UK
Curious about what life under Sharia law would be like? Wonder no more…
Hi readers and sisters,
While appreciating the use of artificial hymen kit by the muslim girls who are going to marry and who are to prove their virginity, irrespective of husband not virgin himself, but I have heard that in prostitutions, the girls are using the same to fetch more money on the pretext of virginity. In Pakistan and Arab countries, high prices are paid for virgin girls.
Any way it is a good product for the saving the girls who lost their viriginity due to accidently or raped by even their own cousins and close relatives.
Dear Admn. Thanks for making an exclusive blog for educating our muslim girls and save their married life.
It is really a great service done by you through this blog. Some interesting and useful information and guidance has been given by our intellectual sisters. They are not in good number, but atleast some of them have given their views so frankly and intelligently, which I myself had never anticipated. The use of artificial hymen kit is a great blessings in the modern age particularly for muslim girls,who had subject to torture, rape, murder, domestic violence, cruelty, discrimination, kidnapping, torture and so on…..
My sincere thanks once again. VM
It is our pleasure and honor that all these intellectuals are talking about religion-related issues. The objective of starting this web site is to stimulate discussion on some religion practices, especially relating to interfaith marriages.
Is that the God who provided certain guidance in “the book” and we are suppose to literally follow it, or that God wants us to do good karma based on our moral and self conscience? If God wanted us to strictly follow certain commandments literally and without interpreting it in today’s context, why HE made some of us critical thinkers to question the book?
On your point, “(we are) not in good number”, actually there are lots more readers come to this site (current rate of 6 million hits/year) for guidance, but do not write. Thus what ever you are writing has already made some impact. Invite your other friends to this site. Keep up the good work!
Dear Muslim girls,
Turn into a virgin once more – immediately! and enjoy married life too.
The HymenShop enables girls to turn into virgins once more with their prosthetic hymen membrane, also known as an artificial virginity kit. In some circles, the product is also referred to as a “Chinese hymen” or “fake hymen.” It is specially designed to simulate an intact human hymen. The artificial hymen is the brainchild of Alicia Wyndham, effectively-identified fashion designer, Internet marketer and proprietor of the HymenShop.
“I have created a number of web sites that help girls who have lost their virginity,” explained Wyndham. “When a Muslim girl loses her virginity, it can create critical issues for her and make her daily life hell following relationship. She might even be divorced by her spouse for not being a virgin. That is where a procedure known as revirgination or hymenoplasty is helpful, but it can expense hundreds of bucks and is not conveniently readily available. Several surgeons even refuse to complete it because of ethical concerns.
“To aid these bad girls, I am happy to be offering the “Artificial Hymen,” a freshly created engineering with the remarkable ability to support females turn out to be a virgin once more! The item is produced of a material which, when properly inserted, adheres to the inside of the vagina, quickly providing the appearance of an intact hymen. So to regain your virginity, go to the HymenShop.com.”
Hymens can be broken via physical action, throughout athletic pursuits or even by employing a tampon. Regrettably, males in numerous cultures really don’t realize or think this. The HymenShop supplies an reasonably priced and handy indicates of solving the dilemma. Ladies delicately insert the artificial hymen into the vagina. It will expand a small, and women might experience a tight experience.
When the spouse consummates the marriage, the artificial hymen will ooze a liquid that seems like blood – not as well much, just the correct sum. Women can use their acting capabilities to convince husbands they’re bedding a virgin. Partners can also use it to greatly enhance their sex life or recapture the sensation of their initial time jointly.
The artificial hymen is undetectable and safe to use. It is made to melt in the vagina so it won’t fall out. It is clinically verified non-harmful to human beings, with no facet consequences, no ache and no allergic reactions. Every kit arrives with two hymens to allow ladies to apply just before the nuptial night time. 5 distinct artificial hymen packages are accessible to meet the specific wants of females worldwide.
The solution comes in simple packaging and arrives in around fifteen-twenty company. Cost-free shipping is included for every single purchase. To make certain the discreet mother nature of the obtain, the transaction appears on credit score cards statements as Magazines On the web or Magazinesol, dependent on the credit score card firm. Ladies can acquire with total confidence, knowing their magic formula is protected.
There is no cause that any girl or woman must go to their wedding ceremony bed afraid or ashamed with the availability of the artificial hymen. They can technique the consummation of their marriage with total self-confidence and safety, with no the use of invasive and expensive surgical procedures.
Hi sisters,
Newly Developed Technology enables the amazing ability to become a VIRGIN again! (He & She Enterprises Pak) Mr. Rehman 0324-7613682 •
Marry in confidence – your secret is kept • Spice up your marriage life • Surprise your partner • No needles, no costly medical operation • Amazingly affordable – • Free immediately delivery to worldwide destination • Guaranteed delivery via registered mailing service • 100% secure credit card payment • Discreet package and strict privacy policy • Learn why you should • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSe-x5pKkfQ&feature=youtu.be • 40 Minutes life of Japan hymen kit Restore your virginity in five minutes with this new medically technologically advanced product. Kiss your keep dark secret good bay and marry in confidence. No surgery, no needles, no medication, no side effects, worldwide discreet delivery sent upon your payment!!! Spice up your marriage life and surprise your partner and you can restore your virginity and have your first night back anytime! No surgery, no needles, no medication, no side effects delivery immediately and discreetly for anywhere once your payment is received!!! Artificial Hymen An artificial hymen also known as artificial virginity kit (and popularly referred to as a Japanese hymen or fake hymen) is a type of prosthetic membrane created for the purpose of stimulating an intact human hymen. Since hymens can be broken via physical activity or even by the use of a tampon, many women are concerned about restoring their virginity. Hymen repair, hymen reconstruction, hymen surgery or re-virgination are all terms that refer to Hymenoplasty – cosmetic surgery that restores the female hymen. While the Hymenoplasty procedure requires admission to a clinic and can cost thousands of dollars, the artificial hymen provides much cheaper and convenient way to become a virgin again! How it works Insert the artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight.
what’s your address? please tell me quick i need this product.
How are you. Have you got those capsuls are they working please give me the contact number e mail me on my adreas waleedkhanzada0302@gmail.com or call me at 03362070130 its urgent
Ram, it is not a good idea disclosing e-mail and phone number on such open web sites. If you wish to remove it later, let us know.
Please mail me the price its urgent
Hi,
Gone are the days when women went through anxious days and spent sleepless nights over the loss of their virginity. After nose jobs, breast implants, liposuction and botox, the latest trend is hymenoplasty or hymenorrhaphy. Restoring virginity is fast becoming popular amongst women who desire to be virgins again for a variety of reasons. Over centuries virginity has been given social, religious and moral importance. Today, regaining lost virginity by repairing the hymen with a surgical procedure is fast and easy.
What is virginity?
Virginity is a term that refers to something being pure, untouched and unexposed. In context of olive oil, the first pressed olives with a low acidity of about .08% are termed as extra virgin olive oil. There are drinks without any alcohol mixture is termed as virgin. A female or male who has never indulged in sexual activity or had a sexual intercourse are called as virgins. Virginity in the human context is a concept that differentiates between people who have been sexually active and those who have not.
Losing virginity
If the hymen inside a woman’s vagina tears due to a sexual intercourse, the woman is supposed to lose her virginity. According to societal norms, the tearing of the hymen during intercourse acts as an indicator that the woman had never indulged in sexual activity. The hymen can even tear while doing a heavy workout, strenuous activities like horse riding and even while wearing a tampon.
What is the hymen?
The hymen is named after the Greek goddess Hymenaeus – the God of marriage and weddings. Hymen is a tissue that covers the external vaginal opening. It may or may not be perforated. It partially conceals the vaginal orifice. Biologically, the hymen is not an indicator of a woman’s virginity because a hymen may tear during a physically strenuous exercise, masturbation or may not be there at all. In some cases, the hymen can be so elastic that it does not tear at all during penetrative sex. Remnants of hymen can be present even after a woman gives vaginal birth. A woman or man loses virginity only after they have had a sexual intercourse, irrespective of whether there was a hymen tear or not.
Restoring virginity
Times have changed and the world has evolved. A woman has the power today to regain her virginity with simple plastic surgery procedures. Hymenoplasty or revirgination is a procedure that can reattach the hymen and bring back lost virginity. It is a plastic surgery process that repairs the hymen of a woman. It restores lost virginity in females.
Different ways of performing a hymenoplasty
If you plan to opt for the surgical procedure, ensure that you find the right cosmetologist or doctor. Find an expert and experienced surgeon for the surgery. Check and compare costs. Discuss the procedure that your doctor will follow. Do not forget to get complete information about post surgery care. Read and find information online. Here’s some basic know how on ways of how a hymenoplasty is performed.
Performing an immediate suturing after a tear has taken place
Create a membrane without blood supply. It is a cosmetic procedure that uses an artificial blood like gelatin substance. It can be performed a few days before someone intends to get married.
Creating a new hymen with the remains of the torn hymen
The doctor may advise abstaining from a sexual intercourse for a few days and prescribe medication to avoid vaginal infections. Follow instructions religiously.
Hymenoplasty is a controversial issue in many countries around the world. Different women have different reasons to restore their virginity and therefore vaginal repair and reconstruction is becoming a popular trend. It can save women of social embarrassments and grant them a chance to enjoy the conformation of being a virgin all over again.
The virginity industry
By Najlaa Abou Mehri and Linda Sills
BBC Radio 4, Crossing Continents
Young Arab women wait in an upmarket medical clinic for an operation that will not only change their lives, but quite possibly save it. Yet the operation is a matter of choice and not necessity. It costs about 2,000 euros (£1,700) and carries very little risk.
The clinic is not in Dubai or Cairo, but in Paris. And the surgery they are waiting for is to restore their virginity.
Whether in Asia or the Arab world, an unknown number of women face an agonising problem having broken a deep taboo. They’ve had sex outside marriage and if found out, risk being ostracised by their communities, or even murdered.
Sonia says she considered suicide after her first sexual relationship
Now more and more of them are undergoing surgery to re-connect their hymens and hide any sign of past sexual activity. They want to ensure that blood is spilled on their wedding night sheets.
The social pressure is so great that some women have even taken their own lives.
Sonia wants to remain anonymous for fear of reprisal. She is a slender young brunette studying at art college in Paris.
Although born in France, Arab culture and traditions are central to Sonia’s life. Life was strict growing up under the watchful eyes of a large traditional Arab family.
Virginity certificates
“I thought of suicide after my first sexual relationship,” she says, “because I couldn’t see any other solution.” But Sonia did find a solution.
She eventually went to the Paris clinic of Dr Marc Abecassis to have surgery to restore her hymen. She says she will never reveal her secret to anyone, especially her husband to be.
I believe we as doctors have no right to decide for her or judge her
Dr Abecassis
“I consider this is my sex life and I don’t have to tell anyone about it,” she says. It’s men that are obliging her to lie about it, she says.
Dr Abecassis performs a “hymenoplasty” as it’s called, at least two to three times a week. Re-connecting the tissue of the hymen takes about 30 minutes under local anaesthetic.
He says the average age of the patient is about 25, and they come from all social backgrounds. Although the surgery is performed in clinics around the world, Dr Abecassis is one of the few Arab surgeons who talks openly about it. Some of the women come to him because they need virginity certificates in order to marry.
“She can be in danger because sometimes it’s a matter of traditions and family,” says Dr Abecassis. “I believe we as doctors have no right to decide for her or judge her.”
With Chinese manufacturers leading the way, there are now non-surgical options on the market as well. One website sells artificial hymens for just £20 (23 euros). The Chinese hymen is made of elastic and filled with fake blood. Once inserted in the vagina, the woman can simulate virginity, the company claims.
‘Caught out’
But this was not an option for Nada. As a young girl growing up in the Lebanese countryside she fell in love and lost her virginity. “I was scared my family would find out especially since they didn’t approve of my relationship,” she says. “I was terrified they might kill me.”
After seven years in the relationship, her lover’s family wanted him to marry someone else. Nada attempted suicide. “I got a bottle of Panadol and a bottle of household chemicals,” she says. “I drank them and said, ‘That’s it’.”
Even if society accepts such a thing, I would still refuse to marry her
Noor
Nada is now 40, and found out about surgical hymen restoration just six years ago. She married and had two children. Her wedding night was a stressful ordeal. “I didn’t sleep that night. I was crying,” she says. “I was very scared but he didn’t suspect anything.”
It’s a secret that Nada – which is not her real name – will carry to her grave. “I am ready to hide it until death,” she says. “Only God will know about it.”
But it’s not only the older generation that subscribes to traditional views about sex before marriage, when it comes to choosing a wife.
Noor is a trendy professional who works in Damascus. He’s fairly representative of young Syrian men in a secular society. But although Noor says he believes in equality for women, underneath the liberal facade lies a deep-rooted conservatism.
“I know girls who went through this restoration and they were caught out on their wedding night by their husbands,” he says. “They realised they weren’t virgins. Even if society accepts such a thing, I would still refuse to marry her.”
Muslim clerics are quick to point out that the virginity issue is not about religion. “We should remember that when people wait for the virgin’s blood to be spilled on the sheet, these are all cultural traditions,” says Syrian cleric, Sheikh Mohamad Habash. “This is not related to Shariah law.”
Christian communities in the Middle East are often just as firm in their belief that women should be virgins when they marry.
Arab writer and social commentator, Sana Al Khayat believes the whole issue has much to with the notion of “control”.
“If she’s a virgin, she doesn’t have any way of comparing [her husband to other men]. If she’s been with other men, then she has experience. Having experience makes women stronger.”
It may be the 21st Century but the issue of virginity in Arab culture can still be a matter of life and death, especially for women like Sonia and Nada.
And while hymen repair may be a quick fix, it can’t reconcile centuries of ingrained tradition with the attitudes of modern society
Hello every one,
Syrian Women Learn to Mask Loss of Virginity
Cheap artificial hymen resolves social stigma in society that frowns on premarital sex.
Ever since she lost her virginity to a classmate from college, 27-year-old Roula has been anxious about her family finding out. Her worries grew when she got engaged to another man two years ago.
She put off fixing a date for the wedding for fear that her husband-to-be would discover she had been with other men before him.
But recently, Roula, who only wished to be identified by her first name because of the sensitivity of the subject, found a solution to her problem. She got hold of a Chinese-made product that promises to replace the hymen easily.
“Finally I can lead a normal life or at least think positively,” said Roula, adding that she had told her parents recently that she was ready to fix a date for her wedding ceremony.
In a conservative society that considers premarital sex an immoral act, many Syrian women like Roula seek different methods to restore their virginity before marriage to avoid a family scandal that could provoke dramatic consequences like divorce, isolation or sometimes even death.
Websites regularly report crimes against women who are suspected of having had extra or pre-marital sex. These crimes, which are common in tribal Syrian society, are committed by their relatives in the name of protecting the honour of the family.
While some girls seek the help of gynaecologists to have their hymen surgically reconstructed, this practice remains prohibitively expensive and is undergone secretly because it is illegal.
So when the “artificial hymen” recently came on to the Syrian black market at an average cost of 15 US dollars, it quickly emerged as a more practical solution than surgery.
A relative liberalisation of Syrian women in recent years has led to an increase in sex before marriage, observers say. But for most parents, it is still completely unacceptable, however.
The new product sparked a wave of criticism across the Arab world in places like Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Jordan, where it also became popular. A prominent religious leader in Cairo called for severe punishment to be inflicted on any person who facilitates the sale of the artificial hymen, considering it a source of corruption.
In Syria, the reaction was more muted. Dr Mohamad Habash, a prominent cleric known for his moderate positions, said in a statement published by websites that there was no punishment in Islam against hymen reconstruction.
Roula doesn’t seem to care much about the opinion of clerics. She said that she was happily preparing for her wedding.
“If what I did is prohibited by God, I will be punished on the day of judgement. For now, just let me get married and get on with my life,” she said.
Before finding out about the artificial hymen, Roula was advised by friends and psychologists to undergo surgical reconstruction. But all the gynaecologists she found asked for hundreds of dollars, which she could hardly afford.
“I didn’t feel that they treated me as a human being in need of an operation,” said Roula, who said that none of the doctors she found inspired confidence.
For many doctors, carrying out the operation is a professional risk that is only worth it if it is well remunerated.
Mohamad, a gynaecologist who practices hymen reconstruction in his clinic, said that the procedure has become more and more popular in recent years. Agreeing to give his first name only, he said that many women from more conservative countries in the Gulf region come to Syria to undergo the operation, which could cost between 500 and 2,000 dollars.
Mohamad said that most women who ask for the operation say that their lives are in danger.
He did not comment, however, on the artificial hymen, saying that he had not been able to examine it. But some medical experts said on Arab satellite TV channels that the product needed to be clinically tested because it might have some adverse effects. Others said that the product could also lead to infectious diseases.
Roula had to search for the artificial hymen before she finally ordered one through a foreign website with the help of a friend who bought it for her with a credit card.
Then she collected it in a package from a Damascus bureau of a shipping company.
Roula said that she bought two packages just to be on the safe side and would use the artificial hymen on her wedding night.
Some civil rights activists say that women should attempt to confront society about their right to lead a free sexual life instead of resorting to methods that hide the loss of their virginity.
For Bassam al-Kadi, the director of the Syrian women’s observatory, a non-governmental organisation that advocates women rights, women should try to discuss the subject openly with their husbands or look for an open-minded, understanding man instead of going through the trouble of surgery or other practices.
He acknowledged, however, that in some cases, a woman’s life could be in danger if the loss of her virginity becomes known.
He added that a woman’s integrity is always called into question no matter how she lost her virginity, even if her hymen was accidentally ruptured or she was a victim of rape.
Kadi said that in some cases, his organisation helps women, without specifying how, to get their hymen restored, especially when their future and position in society are at stake.
Roula believes that those around her are not ready to accept her as she is.
“I don’t think he would accept that there was ever another man in my life,” she said talking about her future husband. “The spectre of my old love would haunt us forever.”
Hi sisters,
Now a days no comments on this blog by Aamir.Surprisingly absconding from the blog. May be worred about about HRS of his closed and dearest one female in the family?
But he should not worry, chinese hymen repair kit is available for his closed female.
Hello Admn.
Thanks to see your nice comments based on realistic pattern of Humanity.
Please give your comments, otherwise it appears that females are just submitting their comments without any feedback.
God bless you.
Hello sisters,
Dont worry about high cost of hymen repair surgery.
THE CHINESE people enjoy a good reputation as inventors of the newest creations. The invention of gun powder and the paper, among other things, goes to their credit. The famous Chinese silk adorned the body and the bedroom of the high and the mighty like Julius Caesar and his successors in Rome and pretty women like Cleopatra in Egypt who travelled to Rome to display her best and win hearts of Romans.
Now in the 21st century, the Chinese have come out with a new fangled device dear to hearts of girls who enjoy pre-marital sex and yet gladden their husbands on nuptial night with an intact hymen. The Chinese invented device costs just US $ 30. It is indeed worth buying.
The artificial virginity kit is marketed by Gigimo, a Chinese company. When inserted, it emits a blood like fluid that the husbands believe to be the proof of virginity before copulating with the bride. In a conservative society like the ones in the Orient and the Middle East, the artificial virginity kit is likely to be sold like hot cakes among the fair sex who now feel sexually liberated.
Nowadays, many women like to experiment in bed with a boy friend or, in some cases in a one night stand. Their virginity, however, is lost and the broken hymen bears testimony to it. The conservative males are not yet prepared to accept a bride on a nuptial night who had had pre-marital sex. The new kit is an answer to this vexing question.
The male-dominated society in the Middle-east has, however, raised a hue and cry against the Chinese invented kit. The opinions expressed by them and carried by the Arabic press pointedly say that the new device will increase promiscuity in the conservative society. Thus the traditional values will go down the drain.
They claim that wives who get used to playing deception on husbands may enlarge the area of cheating on their husbands. Where will the moral values go? The female lobby has not yet openly favoured the freedom to buy or not to buy the aforesaid kit. Should they do so, they are likely to be pointed as women of loose morals. Generally speaking, the male lobby is vociferous and the female defence is too feeble to withstand this male onslaught.
Is the male who becomes the bridegroom as pure as fresh snow? You never can tell. In this respect, our Maker did not put a physical device to test the virginity of a man. Thus the male, after committing a thousand sins goes scot free. No stigma is attached to him and no proof lingers on to bother him except his own conscience, if he has one.
The male society may be educated on the subject so that they practise perfect equality between men and women in matters of pre-marital sex. It will be dream come true. The Chinese inventors will, however, lament the thought of equality of this kind permeating the fabric of a conservative society. Then their business of such kits will bomb and the conservative world will laugh at them.
Conservatives in Egypt are in a lather over a new device that promises to simulate the bleeding a virgin bride experiences on her wedding night. Politicians are calling the device an assault on Islamic and Arab values. But some young women say it’s the inevitable result of Egypt’s double standard when it comes to premarital sex.
The online ad from Gigimo promises women “no more worry,” because they can restore their virginity for just $29.95. The ad says the “artificial virginity hymen” fits in the vagina and, upon penetration, oozes a bloodlike liquid.
“Add a few moans and groans and you will pass through undetectable,” the Asian Web site promises in its somewhat mysterious English.
The owners of the Web site did not respond to questions, so it’s not clear if anyone in Egypt has actually ordered the virginity-restoring kit.
“ [T]here’s a quote I often use, that as an Arab — an independent Arab woman — you can break as many glass ceilings as you like. But you can never break your hymen.
– Amy Mowafi, magazine editor, columnist and author
But virginity is a very real issue for Egyptian women, as illustrated in the popular film The Wedding, released earlier this year. It tells the story of Abdullah and Gamila, a young couple who signed their marriage contract years ago but couldn’t afford the marriage ceremony that would, by tradition, allow the union to be consummated.
But the couple has been having sex all along, and, after gossipy neighbors call Gamila a tramp, her father warns Abdullah that the following day, he must prove to the whole neighborhood that Gamila is still a virgin. Complications ensue.
In Egypt, those women who can afford it may resort to surgery to restore their hymens before their wedding night. But news of this new, inexpensive device sparked an intense backlash. A lawmaker from the Islamist Muslim Brotherhood said it would be a “mark of shame” on the government if it didn’t keep the devices out of the country.
A Double Standard
A sampling of opinion on the streets of Cairo found widespread acceptance of a double standard that is hardly restricted to the Arab world: Purity applies to women, but not men.
Ahmed Rifaat, 19, says no matter how much he loved a girl, he would drop her instantly if he found out that she wasn’t a virgin.
When asked if it should be the same for the male, he says, “No, it’s not a big deal if the guy’s not a virgin. I’m not speaking about Islam — I’m just saying it’s normal. But she has to be a virgin, because she’s a girl. She’s a girl! That’s just the way it is.”
Sitting next to Ahmed is his cousin Aya, who laughs at Ahmed’s logic but seems resigned to the prevailing view that forgiveness for premarital sex is a one-way street.
“For me, men and women are the same,” she says. “The only reason he said it’s normal is because he’s a guy. But I would never marry a guy who wasn’t a virgin. Well, maybe if we were really in love and it was just once and he was honest about it, maybe I could forgive it.”
Confronting Hypocrisy
At the offices of Enigma magazine, Egypt’s upscale fashion and society monthly, managing editor Amy Mowafi has heard all this before. She’s the author of a popular column and now best-selling book, Fe-mail: The Trials and Tribulations of Being a Good Egyptian Girl.
Mowafi says Egyptian men still have a “huge complex” about virginity, from the poorest rural villages to the wealthiest Cairo suburbs.
“No matter how ‘Western’ he may appear, it’s very exceptional to find a man who is willing to accept a woman who has had, quote unquote, ‘a life’ before marriage,” she says. “And the objective, unfortunately, for an Arab woman remains marriage. I mean, there’s a quote I often use, that as an Arab — an independent Arab woman — you can break as many glass ceilings as you like. But you can never break your hymen.”
Mowafi has her own issues with these artificial virginity devices, because she doesn’t believe technology should be a substitute for confronting hypocrisy.
“The problem with a device like this,” she says, “is it makes it too easy for the woman to play by the rules of society instead of standing up and saying, ‘No, you need to understand that I am a good person. And it should not all come down to this issue of a hymen.’ “
Hello Admn.
Really a very educative and interesting blog you have made it here.
But no comments from you or Satyen? Why keeping silence on such a burning issue.
HRS is very common in all muslim countries including among young muslim girls living in different countries abroad.
Your girls are doing great work here, lets hope this “bloody bed sheet display” practice can be eliminated in next 50 years.
Find our views here https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=3929&cpage=1#comment-37317
Hello
Hymen repair and a prettier vagina:
These are changing times, right! The emancipation of women has made them strong, fearless, and courageous. We forge forward to go where no woman has gone before and we play on the same grounds that were once the exclusive preserve of men. We are strong, beautiful and confident and we believe that sexual attraction should be followed through. Sex before marriage is perfectly fine and woe to any man or women or even society pundits who dare to tell us otherwise. We are in a modern world where women are in everyway equal to men.
Wrong! These may be modern times but we still have an ancient mindset. Women might have forged forward but the men are still languishing behind. Women may be sexually emancipated but ancient beliefs of virginity are still around and hold strong. Men from any generation are still the same and will remain the same. The very idea of having a virgin blushing bride that comes untouched to the marital bed can still be a huge turn on for any man, whether he is sexually experienced or not. This disproportion in the male: female perception of sex before marriage is now causing a huge uproar in the media. And the main outrage is whether women should conceal the fact that they have had sex before marriage, and then get their hymen repaired to “fool” men into thinking they have virgin brides!
What is the hymen? What does it do?
It’s a fact that the female reproductive system is located very near to the outside of the body. The vagina is a self cleansing organ but it leads to an internal tube called the vaginal canal that ends in the uterus. The vaginal canal can be about five to six inches long and there are very good chances that an errant bacteria sitting on toilet bowls or contaminated tampons will swim upwards causing infections of the uterus. For women getting frequent infections of the urinary tract and the neck of the cervix can be really painful and uncomfortable. Frequent vaginal discharge, aches and pains, fevers and even spotty blood in the vagina is a common sign of a uterine infection. As a result, to protect the female reproductive system, nature naturally provided the vaginal canal with a so called gate called the hymen. This was a small strip or veil of tissue that covered the opening of the vaginal canal. But every woman is unique. Just as you would find women with blond hair and brunette hair, there are very good chances that female children will be born without a hymen or half a hymen. Similarly women who have active physical lives like horse riding, bicycling, and who use tampons can have their hymens prematurely ruptured due to the vigorous activity. The appearance of the hymen is also very different as you look at the following picture
Medically speaking
There is no reason to assume that an intact hymen indicates a virgin. Hymens can vary in size, shape and thickness and a few female children are born without any hymen at all. Each different appearance is given a particular like an annular hymen, a septate hymen, ring hymen etc. It’s not possible for a hymen to completely cover the vaginal canal as menstrual fluid has to leak out through the same opening. There are rare cases where a completely covered vaginal opening due to a thick and complete hymen can block the vaginal canal. The woman will find it difficult to pass urine, evacuate menstrual fluids, wear a tampon and even have penetrative sex. It might be necessary to have a physician to manually cut the hymen open but this is rare.
Cultural significance of an intact hymen
Since ancient times, the presence of the hymen was essential to prove the virginity of the bride before marriage. An intact hymen was checked for by a neutral party before marriage to ensure that the bride was not a pig in a poke! And the process is still done by a few cultures till date. Mother of the bride and the mother-in-law get together to confirm that the groom is getting prime untouched marital beef! And god forbid, if the hymen appears to be broken. Honor killings both on the bride’s side and by the groom’s side are still very common in countries like India and Pakistan. Other cultures that have a strong insistence of the presence of an intact hymen are Muslims from Indonesia, Arabia, and Malaysia.
The focus has always been on marrying a woman who is sexually pure for her husband. And this fact was reinforced by a French court in the northern city of Lille. The court had to annul a 2006 marriage between two French Muslims when the groom discovered on his nuptial night that the bride was not a virgin. He climbed off the nuptial bed and went out to the still partying wedding guests to announce the fact and the bride was delivered right then and there back to her parents doorstep! And the horror of the fact was that the man was a French national, with an engineer’s degree aged about 30 with considerable sexual experience of his own as the tabloids later discovered! According to sociologists, countries that focus on virginity usually are underdeveloped and have limited resources, the people are poor and clan systems are very strong. To assure the family that any progeny is purely from the same clan, marrying a virgin is purely crucial. After all, they cannot afford or access DNA testing and they will not be fooled into to supporting another mans child!
Why so much uproar about such an itty-bitty tissue?
The French courts ruling surprised the entire country at the time. When it can be possible for the court to rule that the loss of the hymen was a breach of contract as the groom had agreed to the marriage because he was told that the woman was single and chaste! The ruling aptly demonstrated the current zeitgeist of the times: the paramount importance of religion into daily life, the insistence of certain cultures for virgin brides for marriage and the inequality of the sexes as related to premarital sex!
Says Zubeidaa Halleem,“I have been studying in the US for the last ten years and the culture here is very different! I fell in love with this fellow student and we followed up our relationship with a sexual relationship too. At the time, even though my family was very orthodox and they did not know about him, I had decided that this man would be my life partner so it did not really matter. But eventually, we broke up. My family has fixed my marriage with a man back in Morocco and I will have to do something. If it means surgery then so be it! Earlier it was possible to fool a man by dropping a few drops of blood on the wedding sheets and tying up pubic hair into knots to simulate a difficult penetration…but it’s not that easy now.” And her practical attitude just demonstrates is the current attitude towards women who do have sex before marriage. Arab women or Muslim women (not the only minority who opts for the surgery) often travel long distances and give fake names and addresses to carry out the 20 minute surgery that can cost anywhere from $400- $1000. And the sad fact is that they think is an entirely justifiable expense.
What does the surgery of hymen repair entail?
A hymen repair surgery is just one method of making a fake hymen at the opening of the vaginal canal. The entire process takes about ten minutes and the cost of the procedure can vary according to what else you want to include in the surgery. A few women ask only for a hymenorraphy where the hymen is recreated by stitching the remnants together. Surgeons also offer an option of inserting a gelatin filled delicate capsule that is filled with blood like material that will be released on penetration. A new hymen can also be built by the doctor by taking tissues from the vaginal wall. But the only drawback with the process is that most doctors agree that hymenorraphy is not taught in medical colleges and it can be a risky procedure if not done properly. The process was first tried by am American doctor called Dr David Matlock who then trained a handful of others in the same process. Most patients are also advised no sex and no physical exercise for six to ten weeks after the procedure till healing is complete. Of course the price of the surgery will also vary with costs ranging from $1000-$2000 in the US and ranging to as low as $700 in countries that encourage medical tourism. Countries like China and Korea encourage hymen reconstruction and offer as much as a 50% discount for students and women who want to look their best.
Bottom line is…..
It’s sad but it’s a fact. When you have everything to lose in the form of loving family, a potentially wealthy husband who will care and love you and a happily married life; a single hymen seems to weight very less against it! If you can afford it and if it reassures your potential partner then no one has the right to tell you what to do. No one needs to know and you don’t need to tell your husband about it. You can even ask your doctor to expunge the surgery from medical records. All you have to do is make sure no one finds out about it.
Is it just women who want to fool potential husbands who are doing the surgery?
No its not! Surprisingly there is another category of woman who voluntarily does the procedure without any fear of reprisals! If there are thousands of modem Muslim women students getting the hymen repair done to assure their husbands of their purity; then there are an equally large number of women doing the surgery as a gift to their husbands and partners after several years of marriage! That’s right! Prettification or beautification of the vagina, repair of the hymen and tightening of the vaginal canal are just a few of the procedures that are being opted for by women in their late 30s as anniversary or second honeymoon gifts for their husband.
What does prettification of the vagina mean!!!
Just what it says! Doctors and surgeons can pull, tweak, bleach and clean up your privates to make them look as pretty as possible just like a little hair peach. A few doctors have stated that reducing the size of the labia, polishing up the internals and building up a hymen are just a few of the procures that wealthy married women are going in for to make their men happy. Women are willing to be revirginsed ten years into their marriage just to keep the sparkle alive with second honeymoons. Hymenoplastys, hymenorraphy, vaginal rejuvenation, labioplasty were a few of the techniques that have been opted for and they seem to have increased in popularity over the last few years. Recreational hymenorraphy is now a trend with the regular advertising appearing at the back of women’s magazines and costs dropping to about $1,000. Medical tourism has also got into the act with countries like China, Hong Kong and Thailand offering a tour and a package deal where they offer surgery, plus travel and a second honeymoon.
Is it a fad?
Prettification can work but it just seems to be another shallow depth that society women are drooping to. For women who have had multiple pregnancies and now experience problems like loose vaginal canals, urinary incontinence and other problems; tightening up the vaginal canal is an essential operation that is very necessary for pelvic health. Just carrying out the surgery to zing up marriage is really nonsense! But hey, its your money and your life.
I want to be Virgin again but how please you people help me ..I am living in Saudi Arabia …my marriage is after 3 years ..Help me to feel confident and Virgin again
In Macedonia, doctors often perform the surgery at night and their patients typically give false names, arrive in disguise and pay in cash to ensure the necessary secrecy that will save some of these women’s lives. Some travel from as far as Turkey and Western Europe to have the procedure done.
“[A] lot of women come from Kosovo and Albania to repair the hymen and their husband or their fiancé pay without to ask for the price. They pay in cash and in euros, but they ask us for discretion,” says one gynaecologist from Skopje, the capital of Macedonia, who insists on anonymity. He says that over the last three years the number of women seeking hymen repair has skyrocketed from 230 surgeries per year to approximately 2300 per year.
“After the war in Kosovo women and girls came [to] Skopje and asked for fast and quality surgery. They didn’t ask about the price. This is the reason why the price is going down. If in the past we asked 2000 marks, today the price is between 300-400 euros ($412-550 USD),” says one Albanian gynaecologist who confirms that all the women who come to his clinic are Muslim. He explains that the price depends on the damage done to the broken hymen. A woman seeking her first surgery pays the least, but the second or third time the price is more expensive because the hymen is more damaged. One gynaecologist from Bitola, a town in western Macedonia, has repaired one woman’s hymen one hundred times! Unlike most women who seek this surgery, the woman was a Romani prostitute who always wants to be “new” for her wealthy clients.
But even the surgery doesn’t guarantee a woman’s safety. If her partner discovers that she’s had the procedure, her safety and possibly her life can be in jeopardy. Doctors who openly advertise the procedure are receiving death threats but they continue to offer the surgery to save the lives of these women. And yet despite the good intentions of some doctors, the fact that the surgery is illegal means that many girls are putting themselves at risk. Some of the cheaper clinics that offer the procedure are not up to medical standards and their doctors often use un-sterilized equipment that leads to infection. Last year, three Romani girls who could not afford to pay top dollar at a good clinic, died after surgery.
ALL THIS IS HAPPENING IN WIDER SCALE DUE TO LIBERAL SEXUAL ENVIRONMENT MUSLIM BRIDEGROOMS DEMAND TO MARRY ONLY VIRGIN BRIDE.
Hi Sahila,
I too feel missing comments of both Admn. and Satyen, both learned collegues, on HRS and Islamic Women Today?
Without your comments, we are missing analytical approach.
You are doing great job, keep it up.
Invite other women to speak out here.
Find out comments at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=3929&cpage=1#comment-37317
Hello Admn./Satyen,
I dont see your valuable comments on this blog here, why?
Seeking only views of muslim sisters only, without your observations and suggestions?
In all most all blogs you both have been contributing a lot.
Similarly no comments from both of you, on the Islamic Women today, blog?
Why, are you afraid of Balshphemy case from fundamentalists?
Please respond.
We are in full support of what Islamic women are talking.
This “displaying bloody bed sheet” is a barbaric practice, never heard in other communities. This is an insult to women; to the virgin women as well the non-virgin women. The virgin (and non virgin) woman should not be happy that she passes the test, but should feel insulted for the reason your husband did not trust you and thus he has to look if the bed is bloody or not?
When one decides to marry someone, one needs to trust and honor the person. No one is perfect. What would you do if you find out that now your spouse has diabetes or high blood pressure, would you kick your spouse out of the marriage? Ideally, you should go and find medicine for the problem. If after your wife get a few extra pounds of fat after marriage, would you kick her out or just enroll her in an expensive gym?
If the girl did not bleed, the husband should trust her and assume that she may have broke her hymen while playing soccer. If she had (potential) sex before marriage for what ever reason, he should given her double love so she will never ever think it again. Marriage is all about love and trust, not about minor physical defect in body.
Islamic girls should stand against this practice of “displaying bloody sheet”. Tell the intended spouse that he will never allow display the bed sheet and allow to interfere your parents for what goes on inside the bed room. If he does not agree, just walk away.
Find our other comments at
https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=3929&cpage=1#comment-37118
https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=3929&cpage=1#comment-37053
.
Actually, this “bloody sheet display” and conditions of “Islamic women today” are the tips of the iceberg. It is very difficult by an individual woman to fight against it. Even, it is very difficult by a million women to speaking out to change conditions of women in the male dominated Islam majority countries. This male domination will not change overnight, probably, not in THIS your life. So then, what/who is the Iceberg? Satyen probably would say the iceberg is Muhammad and his Koran.
If you cannot change the society (for your THIS life), change your own thinking and open eyes. Pick a life mate (Muslim or other) who is willing to accept you for who you are and willing to give equality in life. Though this is possible only for financially independent women.
Bottom line message to all women (irrespective of religion), get a top notch education and be financially self sufficient, then you don’t have to worry about the bloody bed sheer or bullshit from your husband or in-laws.
Hello
A new “virginity device” sold from China and marketed to Muslims in Egypt and elsewhere has conservative clerics up in arms. But what should be discussed is the hypocrisy that burdens women with proof of virginity while the men involved are ignored. Because of this, thousands of widows, divorcees and rape victims in countries like Pakistan and Saudi Arabia are forced to live lives at the very margins of social acceptability. Rafia Zakaria
After Dark in a hotel room, Bahrain 2008. © S.M. / arabimages.com
Conservative clerics in Egypt are in a conundrum. A new device sold by a Chinese company threatens to make every Egyptian woman who uses it, a virgin. The “Artificial Virginity Hymen Kit” distributed by Gigimo costs about $30.00 is intended to help newly married women fool their husbands into believing that they are virgins by producing a small amount of blood like substance during intercourse.
The controversy began when a reporter from a Dutch radio station broadcast an Arabic translation of the Chinese advertisement for the product. Conservative members of the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt’s Parliament have since asked for a ban on the device. Prominent Egyptian scholar Abdel Moati Bayoumi said anyone who imports the device should be punished saying “This product encourages illicit sexual relations, Islamic culture forbids these relations except within the confines of marriage,” Bayoumi said.
The controversy over virginity and the newly provided ability to fake it, hits at the center of questions regarding the status of women in much of the Muslim world. Questions regarding female purity hold a crucial position in evaluating the worth of a woman and negotiating marriage contracts. In Egypt itself, thousands of women undergo hymen reconstruction surgery every year in order to fulfill preconditions of virginity for marriage and to avoid bringing shame to families.
The practice of hymen reconstruction surgery has migrated with Arab populations to European countries like France where young Muslim women may undergo the half hour surgery for a cost of about €2000 ($3,000). Others choose to go back to countries like Tunisia where they can get the surgery at lower cost. The surgery is legal in the European Union as well as in the United States where it falls in the category of elective surgery. While surgery itself is less common in Pakistan, women are routinely abused tortured and even killed if they are found not to be virgins upon being wed. In several cases, young brides have been known to commit suicide rather than risk bringing shame to their families.
The issue of whether virginity constitutes the total worth of a woman upon marriage (rendering her otherwise unmarriageable) was dealt with recently in a courtroom in the French city of Lille where the judge initially ruled that a marriage between a Muslim man and a woman could be annulled because the bride had lied about her virginity. A French appeals court then took up the issue of whether virginity was “an essential quality of a woman” and ended up reversing the previous decision that had decreed lying about virginity to be a grounds for fraud that would justify annulment. Of course, the outcome of the case would have been markedly different under Islamic law where deception regarding the virginity of the bride would result both in an annulment of the marriage and a repudiation of the dower.
Expectedly, as the news clips from Egypt amply illustrate, much of the clerical debate over the device has focused on the fact that it allows women to fake and flout the theological precept prescribing a prohibition on extra marital sexual relations. No argument is provided of the fact that the male involved may also have come to the marriage without proof of virginity which is equally theologically culpable but less easily verified. The assumption is that women’s virginity must necessarily be verifiable hence necessitating the ban on the Chinese virginity gadget while male virginity can conveniently be glossed over. Equally sexist are attempts to justify the concern over women’s virginity as one motivated by insuring the sexual purity of society in general since it ignores the reality that every extra marital sexual act involves by definition two parties, one male and one female which are both equally responsible for their actions.
The fact is, in Egypt, Pakistan and in a majority of Muslim countries the onus of protecting a society’s delusions of purity and piety are placed solely and singularly on the shoulders of women. In insuring that virgins are venerated and non-virgins vilified social constructions of good and bad women are enforced in a society where the value of a woman is little else than her ability to breed sons, please her husband and be a good housekeeper. The myth that is continually forwarded is that all those women who are not virgins are somehow dirty, impure and unworthy of marriage. No consideration is given to the fact that the majority of these women may be widows, divorcees or victims of sexual assault. In other words, male complicity in reducing women to non-virgin status is completely ignored in the whole discussion.
Because of this, thousands of widows, divorcees and rape victims in countries like Pakistan and Saudi Arabia are forced to live lives at the very margins of social acceptability. Not only can they not expect to be married again but they are further dealt the burden of being somehow morally compromised simply because they are no longer the pure virgins venerated as brides. Examples from Islamic history that suggest otherwise. For instance, the notable fact that the first marriage of the Prophet (pbuh) was to a non-virgin are given short shrift and virtually ignored.
It is interesting indeed, that the device in question that provides Muslim women with some semblance of empowerment against the strictures of proving their purity is being sold from China. Indeed, it brings to focus the vast disparity between nations like China, who have put their women to work and hence harnessed 51% of an unused labor force to become a manufacturing super power and countries like Pakistan and Egypt who are still squabbling over inanities that necessitate a device like the Artificial Hymen Kit. While Chinese women work to produce anything that sells and raise their country to new heights as an emerging power; Muslim women remain embroiled in proving that their worth is more than just their virginity.
Hello every body,
Aisha Salim, a Muslim graduate from a family who moved to England from Pakistan two generations back slept with several boyfriends and had to be virgin again with a hymen replacement operation to show her husband virginity blood at the wedding night back in 2007.she said.‘If my husband could not prove to his family that I was a virgin i would be ostracised and sent home in disgrace.’My father who is a devout Muslim would regard it as the ultimate shame.‘The entire family could be cast out from their friends and society, and one of my cousins or uncles might kill me to purge them of my sins.’
At that time that was one of the rare cases but now this kind of surgeries are gatting more and more popular and there were 9016 hymen replacement operations which took place between 2005 and 2009 in England only.According to some private clinics back than they use to get clients of this procedure once or twice a weeks but now they are getting 20 or 25 sometimes even more in a day and most of them are young muslim girls who are about to get married.
This procedure is called Hymenoplasty and it hardly takes half an hour so but it costs around $7000.During the hymenoplasty procedure viewed by some as invasive and degrading the hymen is stitchedor reconstructed so that it will tear again and bleed on the woman’s wedding night.
In some cases, the vaginal lining can be used to create a false hymen. A blood capsule can then be inserted into the lining to ensure realistic blood flow when the membrane is broken.
It is more cultural than religious,if the bride is not virgin and doesn’t bleed at the night of wedding she brings a very big shame to her family or sometimes even could get honour killed in some extreme cases.Even in arab girls this procedure has become popular.In Arab countries more than 20000 thousand such procedures are being adopted in just 6 months.
Hi sisters,
More and more women opting for hymen repair surgery in Malasia‘
Malaysia’s leading plastic surgeon Dr. V. Surendranathan has revealed that more and more muslim women are undergoing operations to get their hymens ‘repaired’.
He even revealed that most of the girls approaching doctors for the purpose were in their 20s, and were foreign students studying in Kuala Lumpur colleges.
“The girls don’t come alone (for the consultation and surgery). They come with their boyfriends or a trusted girlfriend,” the New Straits Times quoted him as saying.
Dr. Surendranathan pointed out that a lot could happen when a student left home to study abroad.
“And when these girls come here — either with their boyfriends or they befriend local guys — some of them engage in penetrative sexual acts,” he said.
He also highlighted the fact that most of such students belonged to communities that require a girl to be a virgin for various cultural and religious reasons.
“To them, having the hymen intact is not just an important marriage commodity — their very lives depend on it,” he said.
The consultant plastic surgeon said though officially discouraged in France, the demand for the operation is increasing day-by-day from Muslim women who fear the consequences of being unable to prove their virginity on their wedding night.
Dr. Surendranathan revealed that it just takes 30 minutes to repair a woman’s hymen through surgery, and that this trend has started to catch up with Malaysia’s local university students also.
He, however, insisted that it is not only sexual intercourse that may rupture the hymen.
“The hymen is fragile and can be easily torn, not necessarily through penetrative sex, but also rigorous physical activities like cycling or running, or even after a fall,”
Hello every body,
Previsouly from Iran but presently born and brought up in Canada and also studied in coeducation pattern here. I am 27 years old and working girl in Toronto. During my study , I got in touch with several boy friends and enjoyed premarital sex frequently, loosing my virginity at 18years old, since I was greatly impressed by canadian life style and deadly against muslim restrictions on females, as I obvserved in case of my mother since childhood. My parents wanted me to marry my own cousin haling from Iran also but settled here.
I happened to talk to him on various issues and came to know that he wanted a virgin wife, whereas he was married earlier and divorced his wife. I told him frankly when you are not virgin, how can think of a virgin wife? His mother came to know about this argument and one day came to me and asked me whether I was virgin or not? I told her that I shall marry only a virgin husband not your son. Ultimately relationship for future broke. Now I am marrying a Hindu boy, who knows every thing about me and working my company also.
My purpose to write all these things is just to make aware our sisters not to marry such muslim guys who are not virgin themselves but need a virgin wife. We should oppose such discriminatory mind set of islamic religion.
IN MY VIEW HYMEN REPAIR SURGERY IS A BOON FOR MUSLIM GIRLS OTHERWISE THEIR EXISTENCE SHALL COME TO AN END. IF MALES CAN CHEAT, FEMALE MUST CHEAT. TIT FOR TAT.
Reply to Sahila at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4012
Hello readers,
On account of muslim traditions,more women becoming virgins again with hymen replacement operations on the NHS,UK.
Increasing numbers of women are having taxpayer-funded ‘virginity repair’ operations before marriage. There were 716 hymen replacement operations carried out on the NHS between 2005 and 2009. The total til Nov 2012, went more than 18000 (out of which 95% from muslim girls). The health service figures, which do not include data on the religion or marital status of the individuals, seem to echo a trend reported by private clinics, which are seeing a huge surge in demand for the procedure from Muslim women paying up to £4,000 for securing sense of safety of married life.
One Harley Street clinic said that demand for its half-hour procedure had tripled in recent months.
Doctors say patients are under pressure from future husbands or relatives who insist that they should be virgins on their wedding night.
Critics, including moderate Muslim groups, have condemned the trend as a sign of the spread of Islamic fundamentalism in the West.
During the hymenoplasty procedure – viewed by some as invasive and degrading – the hymen is stitched or reconstructed so that it will tear again and bleed on the woman’s wedding night. In some cases, the vaginal lining can be used to create a false hymen. A blood capsule can then be inserted into the lining to ensure realistic blood flow when the membrane is broken.
Consultant gynaecologist Dr Magdy Hend performs hymenoplasty under local anaesthetic at his Regency Clinic on Harley Street. He charges £1,850 for the half-hour procedure and says that most of his clients are Muslim women.
He said: ‘In the past, we would do one or two hymen reconstruction operations a week. Sometimes now, we get two or three women a day. Demand has tripled.
‘Our Muslim clients worry about having had sex, and their fiance and family knowing that they have been touched before.
‘It is more cultural rather than religious. If the bride is not a virgin and does not bleed on the wedding night, it is a big shame on the family. There have been honour killings in extreme cases.”
‘It is simple surgery that takes only half an hour. They can have it done at lunchtime and do not have to give their real names and addresses.’
Imam Dr Taj Hargey, chairman of the Muslim Educational Centre in Oxford, called on the Muslim community to try to reverse the trend. He said: ‘The situation is very common in the Middle East where there is a huge scandal that can lead to divorce or even honour killings if there are not bloodstained bed sheets after the wedding night.
‘It is very disappointing that Muslim women in this country feel they need to lead a double life, resorting to subterfuge surgery.
‘That is not conducive to either their psychological or spiritual health and it is hypocrisy and double standards because Muslim men are doing as they please with women.’
There have been calls for a ban on NHS surgeons carrying out the operations for women wanting to marry as virgins. But a Department of Health spokesman insisted that hymen repair operations take place on the NHS only to ensure a patient’s physical or psychological health. She said: ‘The NHS does not fund hymen repair operations for cultural reasons. All operations on the NHS are on the basis of clinical need.
‘Operations to repair the hymen are only carried out exceptionally to secure physical or psychological health.’
The Unexpected Dangers Of Hymen Reconstruction
(An operation known in medical circles as hymenoplasty or hymenorrhaphy or the surgical renewal of the hymenal ring)
Help for every woman considering surgery to restore lost virginity
Horrific pressures can drive a woman to consider the surgical repair or replacement of her hymen. Many young women face arranged marriages and family demands that few westerners could ever imagine. And few people in the West realize that for some Muslim women, not just their marriage prospects, but their very lives could be at stake if it were discovered they are not virgins. Then there are the many women who have lost their virginity through the horror of rape, the trauma of which continues to haunt them. A link at the end of this webpage will help bring comfort and healing to women reeling in the pain this crime against them has caused. For them, the thought of hymen surgery in one sense offers hope but it is also particularly distressing because it seems yet another violation of their person. Another tragic source of pressure hounding many women is feelings of guilt and shame and worthlessness. Until you experience it, what I’m about to say will seem impossible. In terms of self-worth, a pure conscience and joyous freedom from guilt, your innocence can be restored without resorting to surgery or self-deceit. The goal of these webpages is to make this a reality in your life.
Additionally, no matter how unbelievable it may seem, it is simply not true that no one would want you if they knew the full truth about your past.
Should you hope to use surgery (or the Indonesian herb Sirih that shrinks the vagina to virginity size) to trick your future husband, it is worth pondering some dangers you might not have fully considered. Some of the hazards might seem trivial relative to the fear that hounds you to consider the medical option, but blind fear is particularly dangerous. Awareness of the following will at least help you proceed with your eyes open.
By hiding the truth from your future husband you would be sentencing yourself to skulking through life never feeling loved by your husband. You would always fear that he despises the real you the person whose hymen broke before marriage. The great tragedy is that women taking this fear-driven plunge to lifelong heartache are unaware that usually their misery is unnecessary.
The greatest delight and firmest foundation of marriage is total openness, trust and acceptance. By going through with this deceit you would be turning your back on this joyous freedom and security. You are convinced you have no option, but is fear blinding you to alternatives?
As well as denying yourself much fulfillment, you could be denying your husband-to-be the opportunity to prove how much he loves you. You might be insulting him by thinking he does not love you as much as he really does. At the very least you need to stop guessing and find out exactly his attitude to marrying someone who does not have the physical signs virginity. Plan a way to drop a question or two into casual conversation that will allow you to know his real thoughts on this matter. For your security, take care to word it so that he does not guess your real reason for asking.
Later in life, you may find yourself yearning to unburden yourself, and enjoy your husband,s full acceptance, by confessing your past. You will then discover to your distress that you have made it doubly hard for both yourself and for him if you deceived him earlier. You would be creating a second offense needing to be confessed and forgiven , not just the loss of virginity but the cold, calculating deceit. Many men would feel more hurt by the deceit than by the original loss of virginity.
If your husband-to-be really is the harsh, unforgiving man you fear he is, you would be better off without him. It would be tragic to fall for the lie that no one would want you if they knew your past. Any man who understands Gods forgiveness would forgive you.
Morally, two wrongs don’t make a right. The second wrong merely magnifies the guilt of the first.
Spiritually, God’s forgiveness is founded on our willingness to admit our sin and not cover up. People who hide their sin will not prosper but those who admit their sin and leave it behind.
Throughout his earthly life Jesus always approved of and defended those who admitted and regretted their sin, and he always opposed those who pretended to be more righteous than they really were.
Hi sisters,
I want to get a hymen reconstruction surgery. Am I doing the right thing? How much does it cost?
I’m 22 years old. I slept with my boyfriend several times, but recently we broke up. I really don’t want my future husband to know that I’m not a virgin. Looks like many girls in Pakistan are getting hymen reconstruction surgeries these days. I want to get one too. How much does it cost in Pakistani rupees?
Hey, I am 19 and I want to restore my virginity. I like in islamabad. Can you please tell me of a clinic here. Please I’m very desperate
Hello sisters,
I can’t do the hymen repair surgery, is there a trick or something to make him think i am virgin? help me plz?
i will get married after two months (i am muslem and from saudi arabia) and i am not virgin coz i got raped by our neighbor when i was 9 but i didn’t tell because i was soo scared, now i am 23 and engaged and if my husband find out that i am not virgin i will be killed, its not about lieing to him. its about saving my life.. i hope there is a solution becouse i don’t want to cancel the wedding .. but i will have to if i didn’t find a solution .. please any thing could help me
sara have u heard the name of ex-muslim dr ali sina of faithfreedom.org from iran , i know this website is banned in saudi arabia , but you can mail him through this e-mail id faithfreedom2@gmail.com
Dear Sara,
We are sorry to hear of your situation. You are an innocent victim of people surrounding you; earlier it was that rapist and now the husband and his/your family will finish you. We are speechless and stunned.
Your whole life is spent on worrying about your virginity, and nothing more. Why? Why? If there was Allah/God somewhere, She/He/It would not put you (and other women like you) to let suffer like this. Is it Allah or Muhammad to be blamed?
This issue is severe in the Islamic society, especially in Islamic countries. Zakaria said it right, “While Chinese women work to produce anything that sells and raise their country to new heights as an emerging power, Muslim women remain embroiled still in proving that their worth is more than just their virginity”
Rape related issues are there in all societies, for example, recently there is a case of gang rape on a medical student in Delhi, India. The difference is …now whole Indian and World is talking about it and looking for ways to stop it. Why it is not the case (or less) in the Islamic countries? You decided to remain silent and are suffering, this means it never happened in Saudi Arabia. We wish you speak out, now or some day soon, loud and clear.
We do not have any easy solution for your immediate problem other that what others have written on this post. Can you trust your parents and talk to them to help you? Tell them that you want to remain single for life and go for higher education outside Saudi Arabia. There is so much in life than worry about your hymen and pleasing in-laws. Get out of the hell place!
Please keep us posted for how it goes.
Hello Admn.
I am attempting to reply your points raised for discussion in the beginning?
1. Premarital sex is a crime or not, it all depends on the situation. If an innocent girl is raped or forced to sexual favour due to her some miserable situation, how it could be a crime. In the muslim community raping a slave girl or non muslim is not a crime. In todays free environment hardly 2% girls will not be virgin before wedding night atleast in western countries or talibani dominated areas, where rape is a matter of routine events.
2. Mailes are not required to prove their virginity because of male dominated society almost every where, and the sexual organ having different shapes and sizes. In muslim community atleast male does not need to prove it because of privileges given in Koran, to marry 4 wives or give them talak, if not satisfied. Males have complete freedom in islam treating them just like a sex dolls.
But such discrimination cannot be permitted in the eyes of Lord, who have created both male and female. Inspite of so much cruelty, discrimination, violence sexual assault no body dares to speak against Islam.
3. Hymen bleeding is not a 100% proof of virginity now a days due to option of hymen repair surgery available in all countries. Even if bleeding occurs, even then wives are given divorce in search of another women for sex. In muslim community restrictions are so much, that sense of insecurity among wives are prevailing. Regarding sports to the girls, it cannot be stopped. Girls are recruited in army and police too, doing drill and physical exercises even in muslim countries, leading to breaking of hymen at times. Girls are participating in international tournaments of all types, so principle of equality does not permit to deny their rightful privileges.
4.The blood stains are considered to be proof of virginity in a girl, who has not indulged in a sex prior to marriage and she is pure.
Only due to this factor, the girls who can afford to go for surgery, they choose to do so and please their husband about her purity. But the poor girls who cannot afford it, they adopt other methods, like secretly sprinkling red ink or other red liquid on the bed sheet on the wedding night, as one of our sisters had pointed putting animal blood stains on the bed sheet. In muslim countries the business of hymen repair surgery is flourishing manifold, as the girls are not able to be keep their hymen intact prior to marriage due to one or other reasons.
5. This practice is more prevalent in muslim community being the mind set of males and Koran. Even Jihadies are offered to get 72 virgins in the heaven. Muslim males want their wives to be virgin and self indulging sexual games with hundreds of other women. It is all evils of islamic religion, where women have no say, they are just fields, to be ploughed like any thing. Mullas and Maulvies/Imams are the most curel and corrupt elements of the muslim society preaching male domination and indulging sexual favours with any female, whom they like.
6. For all evils in Islam, Koran, Prophet Mohammad and Sharia laws are responsible, who proclaim the orders of Allah? Can a God be so cruel against females? Imam/Mullas/Maulvies always interpret laws which suits to the males. Females in the islamic community has to lead a very miserable life under restrictions, torture, domestic violence and separation at any time. Islam is a relgion of blood shed, violence, murder, rape, looting, killing, kidnapping in the name of religion for thousand of years. Now Talibani, Al Quaida and other terrorists factions insisting for islamic rules in the world, so that they can enjoy sexual pleasure freely and commit attrocities on the females.
EVEN IN SOME COUNTRIES SEX WITH DEAD WIFE IS PERMISSIBLE, WHAT A INHUMAN ACT?
7. Solution for these evils lies on the muslim women by:-
(i) raising their voice against cruelties,
(ii) take support from non muslim women,
(iii) mass education programme for muslim girls,
(iv) openly resist implementation of inhuman practices like circumcision among females, talak procedue to be made more rational and not at the will of the male.
(v) Hymen repair surgery equally good for women, if the males can cheat the females, why not females to react in the same pattern?
(vi) representation of women in all forums to voice their concern?
May kindly give your views also.
Also ask Aamir and other like minded persons, who are keeping silent for some time, to give their comments on this issue.
Thanks.
Agree to all what you have said. It is just a sad fact of life for now. Hopefully, with all women waking up, it may (hope) change in next 50 years.
The benefit of hymen repair,namely, the protection of innocent women fromsanctions, against the negative aspects of theoperation. First, he considers hymen reconstructionto be a potential fraud against the futurehusband. Although this is not explicitly statedby Tamimi, Yasin’s and rafed.net’s papers (below)make clear that the problem at hand is ultimatelyframed as a matter of legal contracts and transactions,with hymen repair harming an implicit oreven explicit condition of the marriage contract.Secondly, Tamimi argues that hymen reconstructionwould lead to an increase of zina now freedfrom the fear of societal sanctions. Similarly hesees a slippery slope leading to abortions basedon the same arguments. Tamimi concludes that the expected negative outcomes exceed the benefit,and that hymen reconstruction is not permissible.The harm of false accusations against girlsand women, as a matter of principle, could not be
remedied by causing harm to someone else.Yasin takes a different approach. He explains that Sharia accepts only two kinds of proof for zina, eitherconfession or four eyewitnesses, and that it imposes
harsh punishments for false accusationsof zina. Thus, in his view, to conclude from a dilated hymen that a girl or woman has had illicit sex is against theregulations and spirit of Sharia. Contemporary
Muslim societies have goneastray, accordingly, because they make
judgments and punish without the required proof. Hymen reconstruction
is actually a means to protect women and girls from false accusation and has an educational influence on society. Although only a temporary measure which would cease to be of any use in an ideal Muslim society, hymen repair can currently help to achieve general goals of Sharia, among which is sexual equality. Yasin discusses the positive and negative effects of hymen reconstructions in various scenarios, deeming it permissible and even advisory in cases where girls did not commit zina or committed zina just once.Only for those women commonly known as prostitutes or accused of zina by four eyewitnesses, can hymen reconstruction be forbidden.
During the discussion that followed the presentation of all three papers at the IOMS conference, Yasin’s paper was severely criticized whereas Tamimi’s presentation received only minor attention. One argument stood out rhetorically in this legal discussion, because it introduced personal and public opinion into a debate of abstract legal rules: would the doctor want to marry a girl that had hymen repair without him knowing?This argument is based on a hadith laying out the general moral principle to not do to others what one does not want done to oneself. Though already touched upon in Tamimi’s paper, it was only during the discussion that it gained a prominent role and incited a rather emotional outburst.
The final recommendations issued at the end of the meeting stated that
any alteration of the human body aiming at deceit should be forbidden.
The internet filter In order to assess the subsequent importance of these texts, we analyzed the public debate on hymen repair on the internet. The plan at the outset was simple: we looked for reference to, or traces of the IOMS texts in the internet discussion about hymen repair. To get a sample of this discussion,we made queries with popular search machines.2 We limited our close reading to the first twenty hits on Google, and later compared these to the top ten of Yahoo!, looking for overt citations, unmarked quotes,or paraphrases and lines of argument. The outcome was surprising: out of Google’s top twenty hits for hymen repair, only three texts were independent
and unrelated to the IOMS texts. The rest were either copying,
quoting and/or paraphrasing these texts, or drawing heavily from pages
that did so. For the first ten hits of the Yahoo! query, only a single page proved unrelated. As to the degree of relations, the web-pages were mostly paraphrases and citations not otherwise indicated or in any other way discernible—the only exception being an online version of a published book with regular footnotes. Seven of the web-pages were mere copies of texts found on other pages listed in our search result. Fahmi’s medical study is the most widely used text. Although the many references to Fahmi formally makes his treatise the central text in this discussion,one has to keep in mind that it does not state an opinion—it is mainly laying out medical facts and the options doctors have in dealing with hymen repair. Opinions, or rather rulings according to the Sharia, are the domain of Yasin’s and Tamimi’s texts.
Tamimi clearly dominates the online discussion with four pages related
to his arguments, among those one finds the important islam online,
which is copied and pasted in three other pages. Islam online is also the only page referring to Yasin’s arguments, though it rebukes them outright.
Assalam,
Hymenoplasty in Saudi Arabia section, includes general infrmation about Hymenoplasty Procedure, Hymenoplasty Saudi Arabia Local News, Hymenoplasty Saudi Arabia Surgeon Locator and other Hymenoplasty related material.
Hymenoplasty Procedure
(Hymen reconstruction, bringing to pre-sexual state)
Hymenoplasty is one of the three major areas of cosmetic vaginal surgeries.
The procedure aims to correct dysfunctions and improve the woman`s hidden aesthetics.
The way a woman feels about the look and sensation in her vagina and pubic areas has a major impact on her self-esteem, her sexual desire, and her intimate relationship.
There are three major areas of Cosmetic Vaginal Surgeries, aimed to rejuvenate a woman’s sexual feeling:
• Hymenoplasty (hymen reconstruction, “bringing back to virginity”)
• Vaginal reconstruction and rejuvenation (vaginoplasty, mainly vaginal tightening)
• Labia surgery (labiaplasty, labia reduction and look improvement, correcting the size and shape of the inner and outer lips)
Hymenoplasty is a surgical procedure designed to repair or reconstruct the ring-like skin membrane partially covering the opening of the vagina (the “hymen”). Bleeding occurs when the hymen tears, which is typically the result of a woman’s first experience with intercourse. The Hymenoplasty surgery will pull the tissue back together to restore a “virgin-like” quality.
Quite rarely, a female can unknowingly tear her hymen by inserting a tampon. It may also happen during sports (e.g. – bicycles or horseback riding).
The biological function of the hymen is still uncertain, however, its social function is popularly regarded as a mythical symbol in many cultures. Therefore, qualified plastic surgeons perform Hymenoplasty at the request of women who need the surgery for ethnic, cultural, or religious reasons.
There is a growing number of patients who desire higher sexual satisfaction by undergoing the Hymenoplasty procedure, not for religious or similar reasons, but because the vaginal walls are tightened.
Hymenoplasty generally takes about one to two hours, with patients able to return to work the next day. Restoration of the hymen is done on an outpatient basis, under local anesthesia or sedation. Prior to surgery, patients are required to have a pre-surgical consultation and thorough gynecological examination. During this time, she should communicate her needs and expectations to the doctor, and in turn, will learn of the possible risks and benefits to hymenoplasty.
Vaginal physiological state significantly affects a woman’s physiological state. Structure reconstruction of the vagina may well bring back the younger feel, and contribute the sexual life and self esteem improvement a woman is looking for.
Some surgeons perform procedures involving laser surgery, where others use methods such as radiosurgical techniques or scalpel techniques.
Depending on the choice of doctor and geographic location Hymenoplasty prices may range between $2,000 and $5,000.
Your doctor / surgeon will explain how long the surgery will take, the amount of time and care necessary for a full recovery, and exactly when after surgery it would be safe to resume sexual intercourse and enjoy better sensation and orgasm naturally with full satisfaction by both partners.
Hymen reconstruction, a surgery that repairs a hymen that is no longer intact, is controversial but that doesn’t stop more and more women from having it done.
The hymen is a tissue in vagina that tears and bleeds when one has sex for the first time. The hymen can also be “broken” by strenuous exercise, the use of tampons and other activity can cause the membrane to tear.
So what does it matter? Who cares if the hymen is intact or not? Well, in some cultures, men do. In cultures where virginity is highly prized, it matters a great deal if the hymen is intact and if there is bleeding on the wedding night. It may be an old fashioned way of thinking, but some men expect their bride to be a virgin and there can be extreme consequences in some countries.
Rather than stay a virgin, women are opting to experience sex before marriage, then have the hymen reconstructed. The surgery isn’t terribly expensive, around $800 in China, where it is becoming more common. Muslim countries also have a large number of women seeking the procedure.
More about hymen reconstruction surgery, and one man’s explaination of why women are “like cell phones” and why his future wife should be a virgin, could get more discussed by inviting more writers.
Hymen repair is a surgical practice in which the remains of a purportedly formerly intact hymen are tied together.
The operation was first developed primarily for customers with Muslim backgrounds, whose hymen had been torn and who were about to get married. In countries of pre-dominantly Muslim populations (among others), the dilation of the hymen of an unmarried woman is widely regarded as proof of her having had premarital sex, and these women
sometimes fear serious consequences once their state is discovered.
Opposing views
Hymen repair operations are offered in Middle Eastern countries, as
well as in Europe and North America, where they are used primarily by
Middle Eastern women who are about to get married. However, in the US,
women from South American origins, as well as from conservative Christian milieus where virgin marriages are increasingly valued, are reportedly making use of this operation in rising numbers.1
The issue of the permissibility of hymen repair operations was discussed for the first time in the 1987 meeting of the Islamic Organization of Medical Sciences (IOMS) in Kuwait. The Egyptian medical doctor, Kamal Fahmi, submitted a short study describing several medical practice situations in which doctors might be asked for a hymen repair operation. In response to Fahmi’s incentive, two further studies by religious scholars were submitted. The first by Muhammad Nai‘m Yasin argued for the permissibility of the operation, while the second by Izz al-Din al-Tamimi argued against it. Both scholars recognized that there are causes for hymen dilation other than illicit sexual intercourse (zina), which Middle Eastern society generally assumes must have taken place. Consequently, girls and women suffer from communal sanctions regardless of the cause of the dilation—a problem for which hymen repair could be a possible solution. Both considered the protection of innocent girls from sanctions to be a form of sitr, a legal principle calling to refrain from exposing somebody’s weaknesses or faults unless necessary.
Hello Muslim sisters,
Dont worry about loss of virginity before wedding night.
Hymenoplasty in Thailand is a viable option for women who wish to appear chaste before marriage or want to recapture the first intercourse experience. Those who want to save considerably and remain discreet about their hymen repair should consider virginity surgery in Thailand.
Hymen repair surgery in Thailand is available at a lower price than in First World countries, such as the US, the UK, and Australia, because of the lower cost of living. However, the affordable prices of cosmetic surgeries such as sex change and laser vaginal rejuvenation in Thailand does in no way imply compromising the quality of the surgery you will be receiving—the reputable Bangkok plastic surgeons have undergone rigorous medical training and are compassionate to the needs of medical tourists.
Besides the low prices and quality surgery, the popularity of Thailand’s tourist activities also attracts numerous foreign patients from all over the world. According to the article “The effects of medical tourism: Thailand’s experience,” by Anchana NaRanong and Viroj NaRanong published in the Bulletin of the World Health Organization on September 22nd, 2009, Thailand provided medical services to as many as 1.4 million foreign patients in 2007.
Hymen Repair – How It’s Done?
During the procedure, your surgeon will numb the area with a local anesthetic. The edges of the previously torn hymen will be brought together to re-form the small ring as it was originally.
The surgery is not recommended for women who have had vaginal deliveries or who have been pregnant.
After the surgery, the “revirginized” hymen will bleed and tear during sexual intercourse as it would prior to any sexual relations.
Hymenoplasty takes about one hour to perform.
The recovery period typically takes about two months. Patients should not exercise or do any strenuous activities (including sexual intercourse) for the first couple of weeks after the surgery. Patients can usually go back to work after one week.
Advantages of Hymenoplasty in Thailand
One does not have to worry about going over his/her budget, as the hymen repair cost in Thailand is much lower than in the United States, the Middle East, the United Kingdom and other European countries and Australia.
With medical tourism in Thailand on the rise, the country’s doctors and hospital staff know how to make foreign patients feel welcome. The leading plastic surgery hospitals in Bangkok are replete with all the modern facilities and equipment. Additionally, English-speaking hospital staff and multilingual translators make communication between the patient and the doctor a breeze.
Getting hymen reconstruction surgery in Thailand allows you to be discreet about your hymen repair. You can simply tell friends and family members that you are flying out for a vacation so they will not know you will be undergoing hymen repair in Thailand.
You will be in good hands during your virginity restoration surgery in Thailand, as there are numerous JCI-accredited hospitals in the Southeast Asian country.
If you have been considering other aesthetic procedures besides hymen repair surgery in Bangkok, now is the time to do it. Obtaining procedures such as a nose job or fat transfer in Thailand along with your hymenoplasty will help you save considerably.
Things to Consider Before Undergoing Revirgination in Thailand
While an affordable hymenoplasty cost in Thailand is important, patients should take care not to let price be the only factor in their decision. Making sure that the hospital is reputable and the surgeon is board-certified is crucial to getting the desired results.
When considering hymenorrhaphy in Thailand, it is important to plan out your mode of transportation.
Whether obtaining hymenoplasty or buttock implants in Thailand, it is important that you research your doctor and hospital of choice thoroughly before traveling to Thailand. You may want to look at before and after pictures, patient feedback, and online forums.
The best time to visit Thailand is November through February.
Undergoing a hymenoplasty in Thailand is a great way to save on costs while obtaining high quality surgery. And during your stay to avail hymenoplasty in Bangkok, you would love being able to indulge in the city’s various sightseeing activities as you recover.
Hi
How do you prove the blushing bride is a virgin on her wedding day? Look for blood on the sheets the morning after. At least that’s the case in some Islamic and Hindu communities – an intact hymen is ultimate proof of pre-marital virginity. The need to be seen as a virgin compels some young women to go through hymen reconstruction. But new Dutch research shows that hymenoplasty doesn’t cause the desired bleeding during nuptial night intercourse. According to the researchers, it’s better to educate and empower women on the topic.
One of the researchers involved in the study is psychologist-sexologist Bianca van Moorst at Sint Lucas Andreas Hospital in Amsterdam. “My colleague from the Amsterdam Medical Centre and I were both amazed by the way that requests for hymen reconstruction surgery were handled,” says Ms van Moorst.
“Some gynaecologists say: ‘No problem, we’ll perform the operation.’ While others say: ‘No, that’s unethical and contributes to the oppression of women.’ Moreover, nobody was even certain whether hymen reconstruction actually works. That’s why we set up the study.”
The study
Nearly 90 women were followed over a two-year period at two different hospitals in the Netherlands. The women were closely monitored and supported through the decision-making surrounding hymenoplasty. The researchers offered education and counselling in an effort to banish a number of myths surrounding virginity.
“People believe that women should bleed on their wedding night, but, in truth, only about half of women bleed when they lose their virginity.”
Cast out
After extensive conversations with the gynaecologist-sexologist, about half the women decided not to proceed with hymen reconstruction. According to Ms van Moorst, those who ultimately decided to have hymenoplasty were motivated by emotions. “They then felt as though they had done everything possible to restore virginity.”
A woman seen in the RNW video below this article tells why women sometimes have no other option. According to Karima:
“In my culture, you can’t tell your parents or your family that you lost your virginity before you got married. My mother could not live with that. I would bring shame on my family and I’d be cast out.”
No blood
Ms van Moorst asked the women who chose to have the surgery if it brought the desired bleeding. “Our research revealed that the reconstructions don’t work,” she says. “It was very remarkable, and I’m glad because it this is yet another reason to advise women not to have the operation.”
Further education seems to be a better option than surgery.
“It’s now policy at my hospital to send those requesting hymenoplasty to a psychologist-sexologist first. We have more or less required women to look at their own vaginas during a gynaecological exam. That was an extraordinary step; you can educate women with pictures, but they have a preconceived notion about what their own vagina looks. One by one, they said: ‘Wow, it’s so small, I can’t even see the hole.’ It was very enriching for the women.”
Buying virginity online
But between education and surgery, there’s a gamut of alternatives for a restaged virginity. In the video, gynaecologist Ineke van Seumeren talks about a pill that imitates the bleeding caused by a ruptured hymen. Websites sell plastic membranes that produce red fluid when touched. Yet the safety of most of these products is unknown. “Education is thus the best way forward,” says Ms van Moorst.
Karima finally chose to have the surgery. As she put it:
“I had my hymen repaired so I could get married. Everyone would think that I was still a virgin and I could just get on with my life. Life looks really good right now. I have a really sweet husband… we’re very happy together. But the operation is a secret that I’ll always carry with me.”
Hello readers,
In my opinion, when both male and female are creation of almighty, if the male can enjoy premarital sex with out proving their virginity for marriage, if the females enjoy premarital sex and get their hymen repaired for wedding night, what is the harm? Females have right to equally satisfy their physical requirement at a time, when they need from the male whom they prefer.
It is really a boon for females to get their hymen repaired for marriage to teach lessons to the males. Due to present libral environment and socail net working sites including sexual chattings, the courage for early sex has arisen among teenagers and they enjoy many times before being married. The cases of hymen repair surgeries through out the world particularly among muslim females have increased many times and such center and clinics are earning a lot.
Hi every body,
I am Frazana from Holland.
According to Islamic culture Muslim girls must be virgin when they enter a marriage. For girls who had not succeeded in doing so, the wedding night hangs like the sword of Damocles above their head. A hymen repairs operation offers a way out. “I’ll do everything, if only I’ll bleed.”
“I was greatly relieved when I was after it.” Yasmina (22) from Rotterdam sits on a bench in Zuiderpark. She wears jeans with a leather jacket and big silver earrings hang from her ears. After thinking and weighing it for a long time, Yamina had finally promised to talk about one of the great taboos in the Islamic community: the hymen repair operation.
Yasmina: “I was 19 and head over heels in love with with a boy at school. He was also Muslim and when he heard from my girlfriends that I though he was nice, we started talking. My girlfriends warned me that I should still look out because he was known as a player, but I was too in love to listen. More than that he told me I was the one. Exactly three months after I went out with him it happened. He swore to stay by me, but when I called him up the following day he broke it off.”
At that moment Yasmina realized that she would never be a virgin when she married. “I felt terrible. Not being a virgin before marriage is one of the greatest sins in Islam. My mother always told me in the past that girls who gave away their virginity will never marry. I really wanted to get married and out of fear kept silent.” Three years later, when Yasmina was ready to get married, the panic began anew. “My fiance made no secret of the fact that he thought it very important that I was still a virgin. I was then also terrified of what he would do if I didn’t bleed. Probably he would immediately separate from me. By chance I happened on the internet on a clinic that offered hymen repair operations. At that moment it seemed to me the perfect solution. A couple of days ago I had the operation and next week I’ll be married. I know that I can’t erase the past, but the hymen repair operation made me in any case a virgin again.”
Yasmina is one of the hundreds of girls in the Netherlands who go through a hymen repair operation annually. The operation is especially popular by Muslim girls of Turkish, Moroccan and Hindu origins. In this group there’s often enormous obscurity about the hymen. The girls are raised with the idea that the hymen is a type of glass membrane that closes the vagina and which only lets the menstrual blood flow through. During the wedding night this membrane is perforated and the girl bleeds. In many North-African countries it is even usual on the following day to show the bloodied sheets to the family. When a girl is no longer a virgin, she is repudiated according to tradition. In the Netherlands, despite the present time, this tradition is persistently held on to. Girls who lose their virginity without marriage go into complete panic.
Wies Obdeijn- Van Welij, doctor and sexologist, gets 50 girls a year who beg for a new hymen. “Most girls who come here still think that they must bleed when they lose their virginity.”
“In the past maybe it was so that in the Islamic culture certainly 90% of the girls bled during the wedding night. But this happened mainly because they married very young and through marrying off still barely knew their partner. Because of the nerves there wasn’t a state of arousal and that resulted in bleeding. Today certainly 40% of the girls don’t bleed during the first time. Also the hymen is not a film that must be pierced but barely a bordering tissue.”
However many girls decide to go through the repair operation. Obdeijn- Van Welij: “The idea of bleeding is often held so deeply that they barely believe anything else. They just want most of all to bleed during the wedding night. As the tradition prescribes. An operation can take care of that. During the operation we pull the edges of the hymen more tightly so that the girl almost certainly will bleed. When they’re done with it, they often go home happily. Virginity is strongly connected by these girls to the hymen.” If it’s intact, it means they’re virgins.
Saida (25), from Amsterdam, had a hymen repair operation two years ago. She sits in a station restaurant in The Hague because she is afraid to be recognized in her own neighborhood. “Though every Muslim knows it happens, nobody talks about it,” she says. “This is the first time that I tell about it. When I was seventeen I lost my virginity. It was a boy from class with whom I had a courtship at that time. Naturally I felt very guilty afterwards, but my fear began just when I was about to be married. At any cost bleed during the wedding night. I didn’t want my husband to be disappointed and also though even as a virgin you don’t have to bleed, my husband would never understand that. Above all, I had no interest in difficult talks during my marriage. It had to be perfect. Therefore I had a hymen repair operation. The wedding night was perfect. I bled and my husband was completely happy.”
However the operation is disputed. Many gynecologists refuse to perform the operation because it upholds the myth regarding the hymen. Ineke of Seumere is a gynecologist at the UMC in Utrecht and performs the operation only rarely and on exceptional indications. When we support the idea that a virgin must bleed during the wedding night nothing will ever change. Not only do we agree that a virgin must bleed, we also help to keep the tradition. A tradition that according to Seumeren is full of contradictions. Isn’t it strange that a man may have sexual intercourse before marriage but demand a virgin? Therefore I get girls repeatedly that have used anti-conceptions for years, and now they want a quick restoration before their marriage.
Obdeijn-Van Welij agrees with the gynecologist’s story. “There are even girls who come to me that are yet plainly virgin and want to make sure that they bleed. But I think that it’s not up to use to change the tradition. You shouldn’t forget that these girls are a second generation of guest workers. They are girls that have enormous double feelings. On the one hand they grow up in the free Netherlands. On the other hand they don’t want to disappoint their parents. I think that the situation will change by itself. Till that time, I will attend girls as well as I can. That’s what I’m a doctor for.”
Yasmina is not worrying anymore about her wedding night. “Through the operation my problem has been solved. My husband will tear my hymen, and I will bleed for him. Precisely as it should and hopefully, finding
spots on the bed, he will feel proud of his wife, but how long? H e will one day again seek to marry with a virgin to satisfy his sexual desire, as happens mostly in muslim guys.
I have never been intimate with any guy but my bf of three years. I was waiting for marriage but my bf finally won my trust at our 2.5 year anniversary. I tested him like no other to make sure he was serious and truley wanted to give me a future with him as his wife. So I let him kiss him and it led to us losing our virginity to eachother, which to us was basically a promise to each tother to stay together forever. But that guy disclosed it to his friends too and they started blackmailing me. I told this to my BF, he said oblige them also, otherwise they will spread the message and soon they also started intercourse with me many times.
Now I feel regretful because nothing can change that I am a muslim and what i did was a major sin no matter for what reasons I did it. I never would have done it with anyone if I was not so sure that we would end up married. so im not a whore as a human, but as a muslim, althought the reaons for why I was intimate with a guy were not bad (as in just lor lust, good time, etc), am I considered a whore because i still did it? I feel restless and I legitimately think im a whore now because I identify myself with my religion and not as a normal human affected by our culture.
Any suggestion for me please.
Taslima,
This is truly a VERY sad story. Friends of you boyfriends, “soon they also started intercourse with me many times” this is nothing but RAPE and exploitation. You boy friend was not love with you, he was waiting for to crack you open to have fun, thats all. We wish you go out in public and report to police this cheating case (we know it is difficult to go public).
Which country you are from? All these guys were Muslims too?
It is just too sad that you are a victim but still you cannot speak out. How long such injustice will go on?
We hope you manage to get over this and somehow put your life back to normal. You are not whore, you are an innocent woman and a good citizen. Do not take the blame on yourself, blame the others.
We wish other Muslim girls will come guide you.
Hello
A lot has been said about virginity of females, but what about males virginity? Are they not supposed to keep their virginity intact, till their marriage? Perhaps no, because males enjoy a lot of freedom in islam. How can be virgin, who are allowed to keep 4 or more wives?
Even after Jihad, they are allowed to enjoy sex with 72 virgins? Males are permitted to give talaq to their wives, if they dont find any pleasure in sex with their wives? So question of males virginity does not arise for them. Even Prophet Mohammad, who married so many wives, raped many girls including grand daughter like child, is not supposed to be virgin at any stage?
This is the main reason that horny males prefer Islam, no restriction on them, sexual freedom to marry even their cousins, rape any girl, becuase it is difficult for her to prove crime, because eye witnesses are needed? who can be eye withness, except rapist or target female?
IT IS FOR ONLY FEMALE TO PROVE THEIR VIRGINITY AND NOT FOR MALE.
Selam Alikum brothers and sisters !
I live in Europe, and always i was between two worlds, east and west… As i said i live on the west but east is in my heart (Islam)… In high school when i was 17 I met a muslim guy… After some time we started relationship, really that was pure and blind love… We thought we will be forever together…
The problem started 2 years later when our friends started talking like that is funny to be in relationship and don’t have sex, that is normal and all people do it… Really me and my boyfriend didn’t want do it, but one day a devil came between us, and we did it, there wasn’t joy, we didn’t do it like other couples do, but whatever i lost my virginity…
That was first and last time…It’s my biggest mistake ever, both of us regret! We felt a big pressure and I said to him I don’t have any man in my life… After that I complately changed my life, I returned to Islam, I’ve learned from my mistake and that is like black spot on my heart…
I spend days and months to pray to Allah for forgiviness and I put Islam on the first place in my life… Now I am 23 and this is time for looking for husband and family, but I am afraid that I will not find a good muslim, because he will never accept me although I changed and follow Islam now!!
Every night I spend in crying and regret, because of my mistake… Really I don’t know what I have to do, I wish someone can give me advices…
Some time feeling that I should go for hymen repair surgery immediately.
We are sad to hear of your story. It is sad that you made ONE mistake and willing to fix it now, but is an irreversible damage till you face Allah on the Judgment Day. Even you have the hymen surgery to physically fix the membrane, you will not be able to fix what is in your mind. Don’t know what to say!
You are only 23, does it mean your ONE mistake means you have to ruin your rest of THIS life and live in HELL right here (and then face hell in the AFTER life)? If Allah is right in front of you and having a coffee at StarBuck, what would HE tell you to do?
We recommend to find your own answer and go for it without guilt. We believe, to live your THIS life full of guilt is sin.
If every one in this World start living their own life full of guilt (for what ever their ONE mistake in this life), this World will become saddest and most depressed place to live (like a living HELL). Is it the reason Allah made this world for?
Conservative Muslims Want You To Marry Single Mothers
I have been skeptical of the idea that Islam would be any sort of anti-feminist force. The belief that Islam would be anti-feminist is based on the same myth that the tradcons are anti-feminist. If anything Islam will end up on the same path of feminization that happened to Christianity and conservatism. The only reason that we haven’t seen Islam become outright feminist yet is because Islam was really off the radar screen. Now that Christianity and Judaism have been feminized, Islam is now a target and ill prepared to fight off feminism. The end result is that Islam will become like the tradcons where they insist that they are “anti-feminist” all the while being feminized and pro-female in everything they do.
We will start seeing examples of the feminization of Islam. One such example is how the conservative Islamic political party in Malaysia is telling (Muslim) men to marry single mothers. They are claiming that Islamic polygamy which allows a man to have up to four wives was only to “protect widows and orphans”. That may be correct, but from what they are saying, such a concept is being stretched:
Malaysia’s conservative Islamic party has urged Muslim men to marry single mothers as additional wives instead of “young virgin girls”, a state official said.
Wan Ubaidah Omar, a cabinet minister from northern Kelantan, which the party controls, said the proposal aired in state parliament this week was needed to help single mothers and widows in the under-developed region.
“Muslim men usually like young girls or virgins as their additional wives, so I suggest instead of taking these young virgin girls, why don’t they marry the single mothers as their second or third wife?” she said.
“This will ease the burden of the single mothers as the men can help them to take care of their children. The single ladies have no burden,” said Wan Ubaidah, who is in charge of women, family and health affairs in the state.
We now have a Muslim woman telling Muslim men to not marry virgins. For now, only a Muslim man’s first wife (and most Muslim men will only have one wife) can be a virgin, but soon enough even that will fall by the wayside. Some of you may think this is only about helping widows. Think again:
Wan Ubaidah said her call was not meant to encourage polygamous marriage but as a way to help at least 16,500 single mothers aged under 60 in Kelantan, a state that has one of the highest divorce rates in the country.
It’s a call to force men to marry divorced women, not widows. These same people defend this as being necessary for the “welfare of women”:
The minister also called for husbands who leave their wives without good reason to be whipped under religious laws.
“Some of these husbands just go missing in action suddenly, and leave the wives without any food or money. These kind of men should be whipped, they deserve it,” Wan Ubaidah said.
“This punishment is not in the state sharia law at the moment, but we can make it a law to make men more responsible; there is a lot of room for improvement in the legal system to protect the welfare of women,” she added.
The Muslims are now on the verge of adopting all of the feminist myths that divorce only happens because men are abusive or vanish. It’s also clear that they are only a step away from promoting deadbeat dad myths.
Islam is well on its way to becoming as feminist as the tradcons are.
Hello every one
Virginity – and saving it for marriage – is a delicate issue. It’s a question that people don’t usually ask other people. Some parents even hesitate to ask their sons or daughters about it. In most continents of the world generally, the assumption is that if you’ve been together long enough with the person you’re going to marry, you may have had pre-marital sex. The trend in some cultures is to live together before marriage and while this practice is frowned upon by some groups, it certainly is common currency.
Saving it for marriage is an attitude that results not so much from what part of the world one comes from, but what religion one practices. And then again, some can argue that while religious groups like Catholics impose virginity before marriage, many Catholics are no longer virgins on their wedding night.
For the sake of discussion, we’ll look at two sides of the coin. Since it’s a controversial issue, it could spark some resentment or disagreement, but to young adults, it is an important issue. Virginity has been known to make people unsure of themselves: questions like “am I being a prude or atrociously old-fashioned?” or “will my wife mock me if she finds out I’m still a virgin?” or “maybe I should have not kept my virginity – I’m going to be a clumsy and awkward lover on honeymoon night” often arise when discussing virginity and its merits (or demerits).
Saving it for Marriage: Advantages – A matter of principle
If you’re the kind of person who strongly believes that sex should be postponed until marriage, that’s your prerogative and you shouldn’t let others sway you into thinking otherwise. Sticking to one’s principles builds character. Saving sex for marriage is an entirely personal matter. Let’s face it, it really is more personal than religious. We have talked to virgins who say it’s not because they’re practicing Catholics, but a decision that was borne out of personal conviction.
Innocence is bliss
Innocence on your wedding night is a most refreshing thing. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a sense of anticipation and dread in the beginning and then become comfortably intimate later in the evening, enjoying the mutual pleasure of discovery? Experienced lovers on the other hand tend to scare a virgin away. Can you imagine the reaction of a virgin bride when on honeymoon night her husband brings a toolbox in bed with all sorts of sexual gadgets that she’s never seen before? Is her husband a torture freak? Has her husband been sleeping around and learning all these “exotic” tricks from others?
Wouldn’t it be so much better if both husband and wife were virgins so they could learn to explore each other’s bodies and slowly find out each other’s erotic zones?
Sex is healthy . Sex is a source of enjoyment and pleasure; husband and wife can go on a sexual journey, intensifying their love for each other.
Trust and respect
Trust and respect are essential ingredients for a successful marriage. Virginity is a sign that a person does not believe in having a dozen lovers before settling down. Virginity constitutes a good basis for trust-building. While virginity before marriage does not guarantee a spouse’s fidelity and faithfulness during marriage, instinct will tell you that one who has saved it for marriage is a highly principled person whom you can have confidence in.
Spread the word
We said earlier that keeping one’s virginity before marriage is an entirely personal matter. However, given the rise of sexual promiscuity and higher rates of teen pregnancies and children being born out of wedlock, preserving religious tradition can generate positive outcomes. If everyone started to believe that virginity is a sacred virtue and therefore uphold it, it could set a trend for future generations. Easy come, easy go is the kind of attitude we find nowadays. Pre-marital sex is a crucial factor in reinforcing this attitude.
Hooray – no sexual disease!
You’ve heard of virginity being equated with purity and cleanliness. Unless born with a genetic disease, a virgin couldn’t possibly carry around a gamut of sexually transmitted diseases. Nothing like starting a union with a clean health bill!
Saving it for Marriage: Disadvantages
Let’s not be blind to the fact that postponing sex until marriage has disadvantages. This is gospel truth. The argument however is whether these disadvantages constitute sufficient grounds for not marrying a person who is said to have “been there – done that.” Just because a person has had multiple partners in the past doesn’t mean that he or she will be unfaithful. Just like what the stock experts say, past performance is not an indication of future performance – whether in bed or in the child-rearing department!
Sexual inhibitions
One disadvantage of saving it for marriage is finding out too late that your spouse is suffering from sexual inhibitions or sexual trauma. Frigidity and impotence are some of the possible problems people bring to the marital bed. When a spouse has sexual hang-ups, it becomes difficult for the marriage to survive. If snoring in bed is cause for divorce, what more impotence? A woman gets married because she wants to raise a family and if she is not aware that her husband has problems, this will definitely create a rift between them.
I was expecting more
A new bride said to us one day, “I thought it was something worth waiting for, but my honeymoon night – well – it was no big deal.” Newlyweds approach marriage with preconceived notions and they are infinitely curious about what their sex lives will be like. By not having any previous sexual experience, that curiosity builds up. When they finally engage in sex, the new experience turns into a disappointment. Many women, perhaps because of shyness, can’t achieve orgasm during their initial encounters, and this could lead to feelings of being “let down.”
Awkwardness
It becomes a little awkward in bed when husband and wife do not have any sexual experience, or if one of them is a virgin and the other has lots of experience. Younger people usually have ideas about lovemaking, but the lack of experience can make them fumble and falter. Not that fumbling and faltering are a crime, but it’s nice to be able to be thought of as a “great lover.” As Doctors Metz and McCarthy said in their book, How to Regain Confidence and Enjoy Great Sex: Coping with Erectile Dysfunction “You always have to prove yourself sexually, both to the woman and to your male friends. Your partner is not your sexual friend. She is someone to perform for, and you fear that if you fail, she will judge you as not man enough and tell other people you are a sexual loser.”
These arguments may influence your way of thinking but we’ll repeat: virginity still remains a very personal matter, regardless of what you’ve learned from your parents, teachers and peers. Saving it for marriage is a decision that others cannot impose on you.
Hello,
I am adding further that the latest buzz in France is about a court case regarding a Muslim couple whose marriage was annulled due to the woman lying about her virginity. Besides the issue of religion vs. secularism that’s particularly sensitive in Europe, especially considering the hijaab ban, cartoons, and other infamous incidents, another topic is brought to light: that of virginity and hymen restoration.
A quick Google search will yield hundreds of results – the majority focusing on the European phenomenon of women from Muslim families seeking “certificates of virginity” and/ or hymen restoration surgery before they get married. Debate rages on about European Muslims importing such cultural backwardness as vaginal blood on newlyweds’ bedsheets to be proof of the bride’s virginity, affecting the generation of youth born and brought up on Western soil.
Reading these stories, several things come to mind. The situation isn’t just about women’s virginity; it’s about many convulated societal ills that the Muslim community is facing.
First and foremost is straying from the Deen, placing culture over religion and possessing strange priorities. It seems that in many of the cases, the women (and men) involved weren’t very religious to begin with, hence their dilemma. In at least one case, a boyfriend/ girlfriend couple were engaged to marry, but then the groom’s family demanded proof of the bride’s virginity; apparently the only way for her to obtain this was hymen reconstructive surgery. Clearly, to them, proof of (technical) virginity was more important than the fact that their son had been dating for some time already.
Furthermore, the entire concept of proof of virginity is alien to the Deen and completely absent in the Shari’ah. It is commanded of both Muslim men and women to abstain from pre-marital relations. Since, the only Islamically acceptable way of knowing whether someone has broken this rule is by confession, or having been caught fornicating by the required four witnesses, the whole idea of physiological “proof” is redundant.
Ignorance is another contributing factor to this sensitive issue. Far too many people believe that a woman’s hymen is destroyed by intercourse alone. The truth is, however, that accidents, physical activity, and even everyday movements can result in the ‘puncturing’ of hymens. Thus, the expectation of vaginal blood as proof of virginity is a faulty one that cannot be relied upon for accuracy.
Double standards are another sign of culture being placed over religion. Many families are willing to turn a blind eye to their sons “playing the field”, but become borderline psychotic if their daughters are caught doing so. It must be clearly understood that the Shari’ah does not differentiate between male and female when it comes to gender relations and sexual conduct. Pre-marital relationships are 100% forbidden. It isn’t “worse” if a woman commits zina, or “not as bad” if a man does. In both cases, it is WRONG and the gravity of the sin is equal in the eyes of Allāh.
To end, Sheikh Yaser Birjas kindly provides us with a scholarly overview of the issue:
Asking for a ‘virginity test’ is something new in the Muslim society due to the social change occurring as a result to the proximity with western culture. Its hard to find anything regarding this issue in such a straight forward manner in classical works of fiqh, for such a request implies suspicion in the chastity of the woman and hence falls under ‘Qadhf’ false accusation. The rules of Shariah are based on ‘sitr’ concealing blemishes when possible and promoting chastity, therefore, unmarried women are assumed virgin unless an evidence suggests otherwise. Women are not obligated to prove their virginity, but if it appeared to their husbands they were not virgin then an explanation is required if requested by the husband or his or her wali. The husband has no right to go around speaking ill against her, he would have the option to dissolve the marriage and take his mahr back or stay with her on that condition.
This request is not only a violation to her body, but also to her innocence and to her honor.
If the man or his family were suspicious of the virginity of a woman then they should dissolve the contract, not demanding such request. This request springs out from fear of shame on the part of the groom or his family. They do not wish to be accused of calling off a marriage for no reason fearing that this might cause a cultural backfire on them.
On the “Bloody Bedsheets” Tradition
This is absolutely haram, awful and works against the request of Rasulullah (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) to keep intimate matters private. If speaking about what happens between a husband and wife behind closed doors was made haram per the statements of Rasulullah (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), how about then showing it or put it on display? The Hadith in Sahih Muslim:
“Verily among the worst people before Allāh on the Day of Judgement is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets.“
And in Musnad imām Ahamd, “On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid who narrated “that she was once in the presence of the Prophet and there were both men and women sitting. The Prophet then said: “Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?” The people were silent. Then I said: “O, Yes! O Messenger of Allāh verily both the women and men do that.” Then the Prophet said: “Do not do that. It is like a male shaitaan who meets a female shaitaan along the way, and have sex with her while the people look on!“
On Hymen Reconstruction Surgery
If the reason behind the loss of the hymen was accidental with no haram act involved then its permissible. In some cases a doctor provides the patient with a letter attesting for the reason of this accidental loss. There is some disagreement among contemporary scholars if the reason was rape, but absolutely wrong if the woman was a fornicator, divorcee or widow.
Hi all,
Sex is a part of life. It is gift of God given to his people, but when they get out of control, the result of this is destruction, Sex should be done on the right time.
Man is the one who initiate sex so man should preserve his virginity to avoid losing women virginity in the wrong time…
we’re humans not animals, we don’t have sex to breed, like most of the animals in the world. why should any one preserve there virginity, personally i don’t see whats so great about it. what that u can say that u haven’t had sex. are u one of those people that believe in not having sex until their married. sorry but i don’t see the point and probably never will.
yes its true but we don’t have to blame everything to men,most of the time its the women who makes the first move…by wearing skin revealing clothes they let the men have lust on them…its not the men who always initiate sex but also women. It works both ways and they should have the discipline to have sex at the right time as you have said…only married couples should have the right to have sex with only one partner. Right?
Thats an interesting point of view. I never thought of that before. Its not likely to happen any time soon though so if the girl wants to remain a virgin then she’ll just have to be strong and say no.
What I have often mulled over in my mind is how much men are keen to find out if the woman they are talking to is a virgin. They just seem to revel in the fact that they are the first for a woman yet with so many of them sleeping around its a mystery they really think there are still virgins left for them to conquer.
There are still virgins in this world and I just hope they will have the strength to choose when they are ready to have sex and not allow any man or peer pressure to cause them to go against their will.
Hi readers,
I am attempting to post comparing the female preference for high status men with the male preference for virgin women. Without getting into the particulars of the comparison (a valid, if imperfect one), the larger point here is that virginity in and of itself continues influencing men’s mate choice decisions and judgments of the women they date. Even American legend Ben Franklin knew virgins were worth more than debauched women. Fuck that, women *themselves* know that virgins are higher value than sluts.
Why should the meaty intrusions of past lovers be of concern to men deciding which women to pump and dump and which women to date with more rigorous romantic investment? To find the answer to that, we must put a magnifying glass to the hindbrain. Throughout most of human existence, a woman with a sordid history of lovers presented multiple risks for the man intending to devote his resources to her and the raising of any children they would have. (“Would” being the operative word, since sex for most of our contraceptively poor ancestors usually led to children irrespective of our wishes.) The risks of committing to a non-virgin woman would be:
She might be carrying the unborn spawn of a recently discarded lover. (In ancient times, when the female fertile window was shorter, younger, and rarely unplundered while the plundering was good, this would be a big concern in a way it is not so much today, thanks to condoms and the pill severing the connection between sex and insta-pregnancy.)
She would be more likely to cheat. A slut presents a higher risk to a man of future cheating. And female cheating = threat of cuckoldry, which means it is much worse than male cheating. Chicks with high testosterone, as evidenced by a suite of mannish features, are good candidates for sluttiness and are least likely to have retained their virginity much past the age of thirteen.
She won’t bond as strongly from the sex act. A woman who has been around the block will find nothing spectacular about the next in line cock. (Slam poetry!) Virgins will bond like Krazy Glue to the first man who deflowers them. The love will be so strong that she will look up to him as a king, and Eat, Pray, Love boredom killing journeys of tingle-actualization will never even enter her consciousness.
And so men, for very ancient biological reasons, prefer to marry, (or in the parlance of modern thought, have a long term relationship with), virgins. This is as unalterable as the female preference for high status men.
Of course, nothing good is without its costs. Female virgins, for one, are hard to find in modern society, and are usually only available to the highest status men or to alpha teenage boys who got in on the ground floor. Very religious communities have more of them than the secular axis of ardor, but few secular men are willing to sacrifice the good times of nonmarital sex for the strictures of religion and better odds at bagging a virgin. So they suck it up and tell slutty SWPL fembots what they want to hear:
“No really, baby, I don’t care how many cocks you’ve hoovered up your hooch. I’m enlightened that way!”
…all the while drag drag dragging their feet on the marriage proposal.
Second, female virgins present a risk of sexual aloofness. Is she a virgin because she’s nobly chaste, or is she a virgin because she never felt much compulsion to have sex? As bad as marrying a high risk slut is, marrying a sexually repressed low libido woman is worse. (Although there is evidence that low libido women are really just sexually dissatisfied women who have yet to enjoy the wonders of sexual awakening with an alpha male.) Marriage isn’t much of a happy deal for men if the sex is a twice a year event. This wouldn’t be a concern if marriage adhered to the traditional notion of indentured servitude exchanged for sexual access, and men could tap that ass whenever the mood hit them, but in today’s radically feminized society, a man must have consent even with his wife, who simply cannot conceive of laying there and taking one for the team (or, heaven forfend, out of deep love for her husband’s well-being).
Third, many men fear the inexperience that female virgins are apt to bring to the bedroom. This is a minor concern, as a woman’s sexual inexperience is quickly and easily overcome as long as she has a normal sex drive. Sex isn’t friggin rocket science. A few weeks of hot nonstop sex with a virgin and she’ll have a repertoire of positions that would make Andrew Sullivan’s beagle blush.
The biggest cost to pursuing virgins is the reason why it sometimes benefits to pursue sluts:
They don’t put out.
Virgins have value as wives and girlfriends, but sluts have value as easy lays. Don’t underestimate the power of the easy lay to cloud a man’s future oriented judgment.
Hello readers,
To me virginity of both male and female is equally important. Being male dominated society, the stress is more on the females and more over and shape and size of male and female organs for sexual encounter, male enjoys privieleges in terms of hiding physically any lose of virginity. Since in the female fine layer of virginity is ruptured causing some bleeding, whereas in case of males no such thing is visible.
To fully understand the role of female virginity to males, we need to dispose of the fantasy that male virginity has value to females, except perhaps to the female ego disillusioned by ‘equality politics’.
Why do women deceive themselves by placing high value on male virginity? It’s probably another blubbery attempt to bridge the ‘equality gap’. That is, if female virginity is important to men, why shouldn’t male virginity be important to women?
When it comes to sexual relations, men are hunter-conquerors, and boys are little men. To a boy after puberty, his virgin status is a shame, a horse collar label among his peers. If not laughing in his face, they laugh behind his back. It has to do with masculinity, not girls.
To the girl who is surprised or who ‘nurtures’ a boy through his change of status, two outcomes are most likely. (1) Too much foreplay and he pre-ejacs, embarrasses himself, holds it against her, and longs for the day he can prove himself to another female. So, she’s made herself temporary in his life. (2) Too little foreplay and she’s not ready. Yet, he learns that girls are easy to rollover, foreplay is not so important, and he longs for the day he can do it again. So, he shifts his focus from her to others and takes the first step toward infidelity.
In short, unless married, boys have little future use for the girl who taps their virginity. This makes it a ‘dirty job’ for smart girls and women.
Doubts exist whether a boy could learn such negative lessons about girls from one event. But, early sexual episodes program the mind indirectly, especially when they happen in the hormonal throes of puberty.
Under the present prevailing environment due to IT revolutions, availability of sexual sites on the internet, social networking, dating sites, life styles and cultural dilutions etc. are the key factors for loosing virginity among males and females.
BUT IN SPITE OF THAT FEMALE VIRGINITY ONLY DOES NOT NEED SPECIFIC IMPORTANCE BUT EQUALLY MALE IMPORTANCE TOO WITHOUT ANY DISCRIMINATION OF GENDER OR RELIGION. IF A FEMALE HAS LOST VIRGINITY, EQUALLY HAS LOST HIS VIRGINITY TOO.
Hello Readers,
Historically, and in modern times, female virginity has been regarded as more significant than male virginity. The perception that sexual prowess is fundamental to masculinity has lowered the expectation of male virginity without lowering the social status. For example, in some Islamic cultures, though premarital sex is forbidden in the Quran with regard to both men and women, unmarried women who have been sexually active or raped are subject to name-calling, shunning, or family shame, while unmarried men who have lost their virginities are not.[26] Among various countries or cultures, males are expected and/or encouraged to want to engage in sexual activity, and to be more sexually-experienced. Not following these standards often leads to teasing and other such ridicule from their male peers. A 2003 study by the Guttmacher Institute showed that, in most countries, most men have experienced sexual intercourse by their 20th birthdays.
Females are more accepting of male virginity, but there exists negative feelings about the topic even among women. Reflective of the Guttmacher study, some women perceive men being virgins past their early twenties to be an undesirable trait and would decline marriage due to the man’s sexual inexperience; in these cases, male virginity is considered to threaten the fantasy some women have about men knowing how to sexually please them.
Within American culture in particular, male virginity has been made an object of embarrassment and ridicule in films such as Summer of ’42, American Pie and The 40-Year-Old Virgin, with the male virgin typically being presented as socially inept. However, some have challenged the negative connotations regarding male virginity, as well as the belief that males should want to lose their virginities at earlier ages than their female counterparts. Noted are surveys and studies where adolescent males reported depression after losing their virginity, such as when discovering that their partners did not care about them and rather wanted “bragging rights” for having bedded a male.
The prevalence of virginity varies from culture to culture. In cultures which place importance on a female’s virginity at marriage, the age at which virginity is lost is in effect determined by the age at which marriages would normally take place in those cultures, as well as the minimum marriage age set by the laws of the country where the marriage takes place.. In some cultures, a female is encouraged or required to marry at a very early age so that she will not have the opportunity to lose her virginity before marriage, or so that a girl can experience her sexuality from an early age. In some cultures, for example in many modern-day Western cultures, sexual abstinence before marriage is not valued, and in some cultures, abstention is discouraged.
In a cross-cultural study, At what age do women and men have their first sexual intercourse? (2003), Michael Bozon of the French Institut national d’études démographiques found that contemporary cultures fall into three broad categories. In the first group, the data indicated families arranging marriage for daughters as close to puberty as possible with significantly older men. Age of men at sexual initiation in these societies is at later ages than that of women, but is often extra-marital. This group included sub-Saharan Africa (the study listed Mali, Senegal and Ethiopia). The study considered the Indian subcontinent also fell into this group, although data was only available from Nepal.
In the second group, the data indicated families encouraged daughters to delay marriage, and to abstain from sexual activity prior to it. However, sons are encouraged to gain experience with older women or prostitutes prior to marriage. Age of men at sexual initiation in these societies is at lower ages than that of women. This group includes Latin cultures, both from southern Europe (Portugal, Greece and Romania are noted) and from Latin America (Brazil, Chile, Dominican Republic). The study considered many Asian societies also fell into this group, although matching data were only available from Thailand.
In the third group, age of men and women at sexual initiation was more closely matched. There were two sub-groups, however. In non-Latin, Catholic countries (Poland and Lithuania are mentioned), age at sexual initiation was higher, suggesting later marriage and reciprocal valuing of male and female virginity. The same pattern of late marriage and reciprocal valuing of virginity was reflected in Singapore and Sri Lanka. The study considered China and Vietnam also fell into this group, although data were not available.
Finally, in northern and eastern European countries, age at sexual initiation was lower, with both men and women involved in sexual activity prior to any union formation. The study listed Switzerland, Germany and the Czech Republic as members of this group.
According to a 2001 UNICEF survey, in 10 out of 12 developed nations with available data, more than two thirds of young people have had sexual intercourse while still in their teens. In Denmark, Finland, Germany, Iceland, Norway, the United Kingdom and the United States, the proportion is over 80%. In Australia, the United Kingdom and the United States, approximately 25% of 15 year olds and 50% of 17 year olds have had sex.[42] A 2002 international survey sought to study the sexual behavior of teenagers. 33,943 students aged 15, from 24 countries, completed a self-administered, anonymous, classroom survey, consisting of a standard questionnaire, developed by the HBSC (Health Behaviour in School-aged Children) international research network. The survey revealed that the majority of the students were still virgins (they had no experience of sexual intercourse), and, among those who were sexually active, the majority (82%) used contraception. In a 2005 Kaiser Family Foundation study of US teenagers, 29% of teens reported feeling pressure to have sex, 33% of sexually active teens reported “being in a relationship where they felt things were moving too fast sexually”, and 24% had “done something sexual they didn’t really want to do”. Several polls have indicated peer pressure as a factor in encouraging both girls and boys to have sex.
Some studies suggest that people commence sexual activity at an earlier age than previous generations. However, the 2005 Durex Global sex survey found that people worldwide are having sex for the first time at an average age of 17.3, ranging from 15.6 in Iceland to 19.8 in India. A 2008 survey of UK teenagers between the ages of 14 and 17 (conducted by YouGov for Channel 4), showed that only 6% of these teenagers intended waiting until marriage before having sex.
The increased sexual activity among adolescents is manifested in increased teenage pregnancies and an increase in sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)[citation needed]. The rates of teenage pregnancy vary and range from 143 per 1000 girls in some sub-Saharan African countries to 2.9 per 1000 in South Korea. The rate for the United States is 52.1 per 1000, the highest in the developed world – and about four times the European Union average. The teenage pregnancy rates between countries must take into account the level of general sex education available and access to contraceptive options. Many Western countries have instituted sex education programs, the main objective of which is to reduce such pregnancies and STDs. In 1996, the United States federal government shifted the objective of sex education towards “abstinence-only sex education” programs, promoting sexual abstinence before marriage (i.e., virginity) and prohibiting information on birth control and contraception. In 2004, President George W. Bush announced a Five-Year Global HIV/AIDS Strategy, also known as the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR),[51] which committed the U.S. to provide $15 billion over five years toward AIDS relief in 15 countries in Africa and the Caribbean, and in Vietnam. A part of the funding was earmarked specifically for “abstinence-only-until-marriage” programs.
In a peer-reviewed study about virginity pledges (commitments made by teenagers and young adults to refrain from sexual intercourse until marriage), sociologists Peter Bearman of Columbia and Hannah Brueckner of Yale estimated that male pledgers were 4.1 times more likely to remain virgins by age 25 than those who did not pledge (25% vs 6%), and estimated that female pledgers were 3.5 times more likely to remain virgins by age 25 than those who did not pledge (21% vs 6%).[23][24]
[edit]Social psychology
Some cultural anthropologists argue that romantic love and sexual jealousy are universal features of human relationships.[53] Social values related to virginity reflect both sexual jealousy and ideals of romantic love, and appear to be deeply embedded in human nature.[citation needed]
Psychology explores the connection between thought and behavior. Seeking understanding of social (or anti-social) behaviors includes sexual behavior. Joan Kahn and Kathryn London studied U.S. women married between 1965 and 1985 to see if virginity at marriage influenced risk of divorce.
This article examines the relationship between premarital sexual activity and the long-term risk of divorce among U.S. women married between 1965 and 1985. Simple cross-tabulations from the 1988 National Survey of Family Growth indicate that women who were sexually active prior to marriage faced a considerably higher risk of marital disruption than women who were virgin brides. A bivariate probit model is employed to examine three possible explanations for this positive relationship: (a) a direct causal effect, (b) an indirect effect through intervening “high risk” behaviors (such as having a premarital birth or marrying at a young age), and (c) a selectivity effect representing prior differences between virgins and non-virgins (such as family background or attitudes and values). After a variety of observable characteristics are controlled, non-virgins still face a much higher risk of divorce than virgins. However, when the analysis controls for unobserved characteristics affecting both the likelihood of having premarital sex and the likelihood of divorce, the differential is no longer significant. These results suggest that the positive relationship between premarital sex and the risk of divorce can be attributed to prior unobserved differences (e.g., the willingness to break traditional norms) rather than to a direct causal effect.
This study makes no recommendation; it simply notes that the women most likely to exercise freedom to enter sexual relationships prior to marriage, overlap significantly with the women most likely to exercise freedom to leave a relationship after marriage. Men were not the subject of this study.
Main articles: Sexual morality and Norm (sociology)
Each major religion has moral codes covering issues of sexuality, morality, ethics etc. (see below) Though these moral codes do not address issues of sexuality directly, they seek to regulate the situations which can give rise to sexual interest and to influence people’s sexual activities and practices. However, the impact of religious teaching has at times been limited. For example, though most religions disapprove of premarital sexual relations, it has always been widely practiced. Nevertheless, these religious codes have always had a strong influence on peoples’ attitudes to sexual issues.
Human sexual activity, even among adolescents, like many other kinds of activity engaged in by humans, is generally influenced by social rules that are culturally specific and vary widely. These social rules are referred to as sexual morality (what can and can not be done by society’s rules) and sexual norms (what is and is not expected). There are a number of groups within societies promoting their views of sexual morality in a variety of ways, including through sex education, religious teachings, seeking commitments or virginity pledges, and other means.
Most countries have laws which set a minimum marriage age, with the most common age being 18 years, reduced to 16 in “special circumstances”, typically when the female partner is pregnant, but the actual age at first marriage can be considerably higher. Laws also prescribe the minimum age at which a person is permitted to engage in sex, commonly called the age of consent. Social (and the resulting legal) attitudes toward the appropriate age of consent have drifted upwards in modern times. For example, while ages from 10 to 13 were typically acceptable in Western countries during the mid-19th century,[55] the end of the 19th century and the beginning of the 20th century were marked by changing attitudes resulting in raising the ages of consent to ages generally ranging from 16 to 18.Today, the age of consent varies from 12 years (or onset of puberty) to 21, but 16 to 18 is the most common range of ages of consent, but some jurisdictions also have a “close-in-age” exception, allowing two adolescents (as young as 12 years of age) to have sex with each other provided their ages are not more than 2 years apart. For the average age at which adolescents have their first sexual experience, see “Prevalence of virginity” above. Some countries outlaw any sex outside marriage entirely.
Historically, and still in many countries and jurisdictions today, a female’s sexual experience may be a relevant factor in the prosecution of a perpetrator of rape.[citation needed] Also, historically, a man who “took” a female’s virginity could be forced to marry her. In addition, children born as a result of premarital sex were subject to various legal and social disabilities as illegitimate.
MALE VIRVITY
Can a price be put on a man’s virginity? The 31-year-old Melbourne filmmaker Justin Sisley has made a bold attempt to. And with Alexander’s auction standing at $1,300 it appears to be worth less than 1/100 of a woman’s, with the auction of fellow participant Catarina (a pseudonym she is using) now up to $190,000. Of the 800 or so bids – legitimate or otherwise – an overwhelming majority (around 650) are for Catarina.
The eventual winners will then have to pass a medical test and police check. And an accredited gynecologist will attempt to confirm Catarina’s virginity. With modern medicine unable to provide an equivalent test indicating male virginity, Alexander’s bidder must rely on his word, and that of two family members who will provide statutory declarations to support his claim. The act will not be filmed, but security will be provided.
According to a list of terms and conditions the winning bidders cannot kiss the virgin, use sex toys, involve any other persons, expect fellatio or the fulfillment of any fantasies or fetishes.
If you’re baffled by why a man would go through the humiliation of not only confessing on camera to being a virgin, but then signing on to lose it to the highest bidder of a month long online auction, here it is: loneliness. It’s the kind of loneliness that suffocates, like a room with no door. A place that all of us visit, but only some of us live permanently.
In one, long, jumbled sentence Alexander takes me through his experiences as a social outcast, from grade school to high school and finally into adulthood. He may have escaped the childhood bullies who beat him and spat in his face, but it seems the hurt is still fresh as day.
“After my HSC I tried to get enrolled into TAFE. Four different courses! And I never could finish a single one of them because during lunch breaks I would be the person who is outside, sitting by himself and with no one to talk to. I was always feeling this anxiety and I never could do anything,” he says.
Filming the documentary became a crack of light pointing to a different life. “My main goal from this documentary was to become more confident,” he explains. Alexander has also undergone two years of therapy paid for by the filmmakers, from which his clinical depression became evident. “Before when people would talk to me I’d start to panic. My heart starts racing. I still have some of this in me right now, but not as bad as it was two and a half years ago.”
But Alexander’s progress has been
Hello sisters,
We understand the complications of a woman losing her virginity before she gets married in some cultures and societies. In some countries a women might get killed for the honor of the family.
Hindu, sikhs, Pakistani, Muslims, Arabs, Greeks, Latin Americans, Mexicans, Jews, British and white English Girls marrying to men who expect then to be a virgin. …etc are among those who do not accept sex before marriage and might seek hymen reconstruction.
The hymen was and still is considered as the seal of approval that the women is still a virgin, never had sexual intercourse and is a sign of purity. In some cultures and religions, a man will only look for a virgin to marry.
It is expected that a virgin should bleed on her wedding night after the sexual penetration and still in some countries, a handkerchief showing the hymen blood of the wedding night will be shown as a sign of honour and pride. It is worth mentioning that about 25% of virgins will not bleed on their wedding night although they are virgins.
Many developing countries now allow doctors to perform hymen repair and is considered legal (where it was considered illegal) and this subsequently reduced the death rate of women because of loss of virginity.
We have been performing this type of surgery for over 18 years and helped quite a lot of women from different background and cultures. The aim is to repair the hymen and gaining virginity again. Patient should expect to bleed on her first subsequent sexual penetration. You do not have to give us your real name if you wish. We treat all our patients in the strictest confidence.
We normally offer our patients a check up after one week and one month after their surgery to ensure success. Success rate might be affected by vaginal infection, discharge, inexperience surgeon….etc. Because of the importance of this operation to the woman, we guarantee our results provided no intercourse or penetration is performed. If the hymen did not heal properly because of infection, we shall perform this operation again at no extra costs.
The operation is usually performed under local anesthetics as most patients do not want to be missed from home, they are normally go home after about one hour from their surgery. The hymen is properly repaired and connected using dissolvable stitches. The operation can take ½ to 1 hour in total. A simple pain killer might be needed for the first day or two. Some small bleeding (no more than a period) might be seen for 2-3 days. You should bleed on your wedding night and keep your head high.
It was mentioned on the documentary that the operation might involves a couple of stitches or for some a red colour vaginal gelatin capsule none of which we perform. We believe that inserting a couple of vaginal stitches or the red color gelatin capsule are not hymen repair and if this was found out it could have very serious complications to the woman in question and her family reputation. We perform proper hymen reconstruction as we are fully aware of the risk and consequences if the woman was found not to be a virgin. We strongly believe that we are giving these women a second chance in life. A woman who lost her virginity when was under age or as a result of rape or assault should not suffer to the rest of her life. We are very confident about our work and do care about our patients, their safety and their future.
Hello sister,
I am from Pakistan at the moment. I studied in Switzerland and lost my virginity with my the then BF, who loved me a lot, at the age of 20 years. My parents put pressure to marry only a muslim guy, who was from Pakistan and to prove my in tact virginity, I under went Hymen repair surgery in Pakistan, before 4th of marriage. On the wedding night, every thing happened and blood spots were examined on the next morning on the bed sheet . But still I am feeling suffocated with my husband, his mentality is not good, my inlaws put various types of restrictions on me. I am expecting separation sooner or later. As such I am avoiding pregnancy.
For the information of Pakistani girls, I am describing about this procedure.
Hymenoplasty Procedure is performed in Lahore by or board certified surgeons. It’s a 20~30 Minutes procedure. The patient is discharged within an hour. The recovery/healing time is from a week – 10 days max. After this time the patient can experience everything the same way she use to experience before.
As far as I know, more than 5000 such procedures have been done in this centers during the last 4-5 years only:-
Punjab University
Kinnaird College for Women
Lahore College for Women University
Fatima Jinnah Medical College
University of Lahore
Lahore Medical & Dental College
LUMS (Lahore University of Management Sciences) etc.
We make sure that the information is kept confidential and patient doctor privacy is maintaied at all cost.
You can contact hymenoplasty center or experts at the following email: makemevirgin@yahoo.com
Have a nice time.
Aarfa,
You studied in Switzerland and still decided to marry a Muslim guy to live in Pakistan? What if you broke the hymen while playing soccer? Is not this BLOOD SPOT DISPLAY a dirty and barbaric practice? Why it is not there in other communities? So, when will it end?
Hello,
The society of muslim community about female is so complicated that it is very difficult to set the things right in a short time. It will take a long way to remove various evils of the islam against females.
About loosing virginity by playing football or any other game, will be a shocking news to an innocent girl, who never had sexual contact.It is the reason that mostly muslim girls before marriage get themselves checked from the gyanecologist about virginity. If lost, they go for hymen repair surgery, even if financially tight.If no bleeding occurs on the wedding night, bride is sent back to the parents, that is the blot on the humanity in muslim society. Males are allowed to have sex with 4 wives, every time they need virgin wife, even Jehadies are assured 72 virgins waiting them to be fucked, each jehadi gets 72 virgins, what a nonsense? Egypt like countries allowing sex with a dead wife too,
For all these evils, a continuous and long struggle by muslim females with the help of international community is needed.
If you cannot change the society overnight, but you could take your own life in control. You could set an example by speaking out by your actions, and others will learn from you.
We assume your THIS life is hell considering you said “his mentality is not good, my inlaws put various types of restrictions on me. I am expecting separation sooner or later”. Do not put up in THIS life so your AFTER life will be better!
Keep us posted for development in your life. Come back here to guide others.
Hi sisters,
Due to islamic traditions for favouring males,the restoration of Muslim virginity is in demand in Germany. The Muslim women in need of new, unused hymen, are mostly older, 20 to 25-years-old Muslimahs. They come from Turkey, Balkans, Iran and the Arab countries.
The Muslim women call themselves Zeda, Aysegul, Cancun and Samar. They met anonymously on the Internet and discuss the vital issue for them: “I urgently need information on where a Muslim woman can get her hymen sewn restoration; what would it cost – please help me,” writes of them in the lifestyle and health forum. She received many responses within minutes.
On the WWW the Muslim women can share their fears and discuss Muslim issues undisturbed. Only a few could talk about this taboo topic within the family. The loss of virginity in Muslim world is as much disgrace as unwanted pregnancy. The Muslim family honor is equated with the purity of their daughters.
The Berlin’s family planning center receives numerous request for information on Muslim hymen restoration every week. “The demand has increased dramatically,” says Dr. Christiane Tennhardt. The woman are mostly between 20 to 25-years old and came from Turkey, Balkans, Iran and other Arab countries. “Most are not veiled and speak perfect German.”
The parents must be presented with the bloody sheet
The story is the same: An Iranian woman wants to save her future husband from ‘Infamy’ and ‘disgraced woman.’ The Muslims of Kurdish persuasion present their bloody sheet to the parents after the wedding night.
“Many of the Muslim woman have had sexual intercourse several times, then comes the wedding and the reality catches up with them.”
It has happened that a Muslim girl has been raped by her family and then forced to prove her virginity.
There are cases when the restoration of the Muslim hymen is the only option due to the health concerns of the Muslim woman. The human rights organization, Terre des Femmes, disagrees on the hymenorrhaphie issue.
“The social significance of virginity is often utilized to deny women their sexual freedom and to restrict their lifestyles.”
Dr. Teenhardt has long worked with Muslim women seeking hymen restoration. It usually turns out that the Muslim women know very little about their own bodies and sexuality. “If I tell them that hymen does not necessary guarantee bleeding, or that some Muslim girls are born without a hymen, they’re very surprised.”
The gynecologist teaches the Muslim women how virginity can be faked.
In cases where the Muslim woman is in great distress and afraid of deadly honor violence, the doctor is prepared to perform the outpatient surgery. “We want to prevent mental and physical suffering.” The cost is about 200 euros.
How many thousands of hymen restoration operations are done in Europe is unknown. The demand is huge, shows the offers by plastic surgeons, some charging up to 2100 euros for the procedure.
One advert promises: For only 24.95 Euros (including shipping) you can save your honor.
The tips and addresses are also provided by Internet forums. “My gynecologist operates in outpatient basis and it will cost only 100 euros,” writes a Muslim woman.
Dr, Tennhardt emphasizes that much more important than tip for doctors and cost is to tackle the issue of Muslim woman through societal shift of thinking. The young Muslim women should be encouraged to demand their right to fuck anyone, anytime, anywhere as per their choice, and physical requirement, generated by almighty.
I wish to share that few years back, the press and radios in Britain were abuzz with reports that muslim girls, especially Pakistani muslim girls, UK, were demanding the Hymen Repair Service free on the NHS, Britain. It was reported the demand for this service had gone up many fold in recent years.
If done privately, the hymen can be repaired for about 4,000 pounds sterling, while if approved, it can be done free of charge on the National Health Service.
The demand for this service arises from the fact that muslim bridegrooms ask for virgin brides, so muslim girls after this operation pretend to be virgins, while enjoying premarital sexual relationships.
One wonders if muslim men REALLY need a virgin bride, for on dying a jihadi death, they are guaranteed 72 virgins (plus 30 odd pearly-eyed boys), who revert to being virgins after each sexual intercourse ! In that case, do they really want an ‘earthly’ virgin bride?
Now coming to my own life history, I have been brought up and studied in a free enviornment of Britian, so don’t hesitate to disclose that I even enjoyed premarital sex many times with boys of different communities, like Hindu, Budhdhists, Christians, like the other girls in the hostels enjoyed.
I am in relationship with a sikh boy, who has sexual relations with me and wants to marry me, but my parents wants me to marry with a Pakistani boy. If decided to marry with a Pakistani, I have to repair my hymen to restore my virginity. I am also a working woman (28 years), personally don’t want to do that surgery, rather to marry Sikh boy, who does not use turban and works in the same company with me.
I am here really to know what should I do?
Respond -Sha Gull
While Chinese women work to produce anything that sells and raise their country to new heights as an emerging power, Muslim women remain embroiled still in proving that their worth is more than just their virginity
Clerics in Egypt are in a quandary. A new device made by a Chinese company threatens to make every Egyptian woman who uses it, a virgin. The “Artificial Virginity Hymen Kit” distributed by Gigimo costs about USD30 and is intended to help newly married women fool their husbands into believing that they are virgins by producing a small amount of blood-like substance during intercourse.
The controversy began when a reporter from a Dutch radio station broadcast an Arabic translation of the Chinese advertisement for the product. Conservative members of the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt’s Parliament have since asked for a ban on the device. Prominent Egyptian scholar Abdel Moati Bayoumi said anyone who imports the device should be punished, saying “This product encourages illicit sexual relations; Islamic culture forbids these relations except within the confines of marriage.”
The controversy over virginity and the newly-provided ability to fake it, hits at the center of questions regarding the status of women in much of the Muslim world. Questions regarding female purity hold a crucial position in evaluating the worth of a woman and negotiating marriage contracts. In Egypt itself, thousands of women undergo hymen reconstruction surgery every year to fulfill preconditions of virginity for marriage and avoid bringing shame to families.
The practice of hymen reconstruction surgery has migrated with Arab populations to European countries like France where young Muslim women may undergo the half-hour surgery for a cost of about 2000 Euros. Others choose to go back to countries like Tunisia where they can get the surgery at lower cost. The surgery is legal in the European Union as well as in the United States where it falls in the category of elective surgery.
While surgery itself is less common in Pakistan, women are routinely abused, tortured and even killed if they are found to be non-virgins upon being wed. In several cases, young brides have been known to commit suicide rather than risk bringing shame to their families.
The issue of whether virginity constitutes the total worth of a woman upon marriage (rendering her otherwise unmarriageable) was dealt with recently in a courtroom in the French city of Lille where the judge initially ruled that a marriage between a Muslim man and a woman could be annulled because the bride had lied about her virginity.
A French appeals court then took up the issue of whether virginity was “an essential quality of a woman” and ended up reversing the previous decision that had decreed lying about virginity to be grounds for fraud that would justify annulment. Of course, the outcome of the case would have been markedly different under Islamic law where deception regarding the virginity of the bride would result both in an annulment of the marriage and a repudiation of the dower.
Expectedly, as the news clips from Egypt amply illustrate, much of the clerical debate over the device has focused on the fact that it allows women to fake and flout the theological precept prescribing a prohibition on pre-marital sexual relations. No argument is provided for the fact that the male involved may also have come to the marriage without proof of virginity, which is equally theologically culpable but less easily verified. The assumption is that women’s virginity must necessarily be verifiable hence necessitating the ban on the Chinese virginity gadget while male virginity can conveniently be glossed over.
Equally sexist are attempts to justify the concern over women’s virginity as motivated by ensuring the sexual purity of society in general since it ignores the reality that every pre- or extra-marital heterosexual act by definition involves two parties, one male and one female, which are both equally responsible for their actions.
The fact is, in Egypt, as in a majority of Muslim countries, the onus of protecting a society’s delusions of purity and piety are placed solely and singularly on the shoulders of women. In ensuring that virgins are venerated and non-virgins vilified, social constructions of good and bad women are enforced in a society where the value of a woman is little else than her ability to breed sons, please her husband and be a good housekeeper. The myth that is continually forwarded is that all those women who are not virgins are somehow dirty, impure and unworthy of marriage. No consideration is given to the fact that the majority of these women may be widows, divorcees or victims of sexual assault. In other words, male complicity in reducing women to a non-virgin status is completely ignored in the whole discussion.
Because of this, thousands of widows, divorcees and rape victims in countries like Pakistan and Saudi Arabia are forced to live lives at the very margins of social acceptability. Not only can they not expect to be married again, they are further dealt the burden of being somehow morally compromised simply because they are no longer the pure virgins venerated as brides. Examples from Islamic history that suggest otherwise, for instance, the notable fact that the first marriage of the Prophet (pbuh) was to a widow are given short shrift and virtually ignored.
It is interesting indeed, that the device in question that provides Muslim women with some semblance of empowerment against the strictures of proving their purity has been made in China. Indeed, it brings to focus the vast disparity between nations like China, who have put their women to work and hence harnessed 51% of an unused labor force to become a manufacturing super power and countries like Pakistan and Egypt who are still squabbling over inanities that necessitate a device like the Artificial Hymen Kit.
While Chinese women work to produce anything that sells and raise their country to new heights as an emerging power, Muslim women remain embroiled still in proving that their worth is more than just their virginity
Hi
France, has 5 million Muslim population, despite being a liberal democratic country, Hymen repair and issue of fake virginity certificates by Doctors, is high. In Muslim community chastity is linked to bridal purity and family honor. Even though Muslim women are emancipated, they still live under rigid codes of family honor. Thus women are forced to go for surgery (To repair hymens, the membrane usually broken by the first act of sexual intercourse) to go to marriage bed as virgins. These acts clash with liberal social mores of France, but has become mandatory for the young muslim women to prove their virginity. The hymen repair surgery performed under general anesthesia takes 20-30 minutes and costs about $500.
About 95% muslim girls are now adopting this hymen repair procedure to have smooth sailing in the inlaws house.
I am from Paris now, and have also under gone the above procedure to please my (Muslim) husband but still fearful whether he would love me throughout the life, after reading and heard so much general condition of females in Muslim community. My father is a staunch support of islam and does not like me to marry non-muslims. I am a working girl, have pre marital sexual contacts and thus necessiated me to under go above procedure.
In fact, I wanted to marry a budhdhist boy, who had sexual relations with me, but due to pressure from my parents, I could not move further.
Please guide me. -Tahira.
Hi every muslim girl,
I am describing about stress that a modern Muslim women can struggle to balance conflicting cultures to ensure her married life has a smooth sailing.
It is a drastic and costly measure but as she takes her husband’s hand in marriage, she knows it is one which may – quite literally – save her life.
The horror and outrage that would ensue if it was discovered she had already slept with a man would be so damning that her own strictly religious relatives might kill her rather than face public shame.
“My virginity was restored in a delicate operation just last week, and I honestly view it as life-saving surgery,”
“If my husband cannot prove to his family that I am a virgin, I would be hounded, ostracised and sent home in disgrace. My father, who is a devout Muslim, would regard it as the ultimate shame.
“The entire family could be cast out from the friends and society they hold dear, and I honestly believe that one of my fanatically religious cousins or uncles might kill me in revenge, to purge them of my sins. Incredible as it may seem, honour killings are still accepted within our religion.
“Ever since my family arranged this marriage for me, I’ve been terrified that, on my wedding night, my secret would come out. It has only been since my surgery last week that I’ve actually been able to sleep properly. Now, I can look forward to my marriage.”
Myself is far from alone in seeking such drastic – and almost barbaric – surgery.
The rise in Islamic fundamentalism is being blamed for the growing trend for hymenoplasties, where the hymen is re-created from the already torn tissue, or a new membrane is inserted using a gelatine-like substance.
In some cases, the vaginal lining can also be used to create a “false” hymen.
A blood capsule can be inserted into the lining to ensure realistic blood flow when the false hymen is broken.
Eight Hundred Twenty-four muslim women in the UK had the procedure on the NHS between 2010 and 2011, but it is thought that even thousands more – included – have plundered their savings to pay up to£4,000 to have private surgery.
.
My story illustrates the intense pressures on young British muslim women caught between the strict moral code of their own community and the laxer, permissive attitudes of their white contemporaries.
I grew up against a stiflingly strict background as one of seven dutiful Muslim daughters in an affluent middle-class family who moved to England from Pakistan two generations ago.
I’ve always adored my parents. My father, now 62, is a retired accountant and my mother raised a family of seven sisters in a five-bedroom house in Birmingham.
I attended the local Catholic secondary school and although I wore a scarf on my head, I refused to wear a veil, telling my parents that it would make me stand out too much.
I was one of the girls, totally accepted by my white, English friends whose lives revolved around shopping and fancying boys.
But the moment I stepped over the doorstep, normal teenage life would cease and it was like entering an entirely different world. At home, we had to pray together five times a day.
We weren’t allowed to watch television. My parents were so worried that Western influences might take our minds off the most important things – education and religion – that we were never allowed to bring any schoolfriends home.
But it made all the things my friends did more attractive to me. I would sneak out on Saturday afternoons and join them in town, hanging around, shopping and chatting to boys.
Perhaps ironically, it was my academic success that was to prove my downfall, as I used to move away from home to study language and politics at university, and found myself plunged into a world of louche student living.
.
I recall: I was a totally naive 18-year-old, and found myself living away from my parents for the first time, and suddenly, everything that I had been bought up to believe was wrong, was being played out in front of me.
I decided that drinking, smoking and having boyfriends was just a part of normal, teenage growing up.
Like other young girls, I just wanted to be part of a crowd. I stopped wearing the veil and for the first time in my life I wore Western clothes – designs which revealed far more of my body than anything I had ever worn before.
I also started drinking. I started off on beer and then gradually things like vodka and cocktails, which naturally helped me lose my inhibitions.
I was in her second year of university when she found love and inevitably, lust.
He was another student in my tutorial class, and the more time we spent together, the more I found myself falling in love.
.
Philip was white, English, charming and kind. When we started dating, I told him I was a virgin and that I was expected to keep my virginity for marriage.
But he wore my inhibitions down, and I began to see that having a physical relationship with him would be pleasurable.
All my friends were sleeping with their boyfriends and it was entirely accepted. I was the odd one out, so after several months I took the plunge and went on the contraceptive pill as a precaution.
As the months went past, he became more and more desperate to make love.
I wrestled with my conscience night after night, but having taken away the fear of pregnancy by being on the pill, I saw that – as long as my parents never found out – there was no reason not to make love.
Marriage was the furthest thing from my mind. Anyway, at that time I assumed I would marry for love, not have an arranged marriage.
I tried to resist Philip but I discovered that I liked the physical contact. Then one fateful night, we went out and I had too much to drink. My head was spinning, we ended up in bed together and couldn’t resist any longer. It was really lovely, and I felt no shame.
It was only when I woke up the next morning, and saw Philip lying beside me, that I thought: ‘What have I done?’
But there was no turning back and it felt entirely natural. He reassured me it was OK and told me that he loved me.
Part of me was scared but I was also rather proud of what I’d just done. I wasn’t just a little Muslim girl, I was an independent young woman who could make up her own mind how she was going to live her life.
Traditionally, Muslim brides are expected to be virgins when they marry
Four months later, Philip and I broke up but I suddenly felt sexually empowered.
.
When I started going out with another student, I knew from the word go that we would sleep together and we did, on the second night.
I also had another sexual fling at university with a friend.
Having lost my virginity, it didn’t seem to matter how many men I slept with, the damage was already done.
Besides, I was living away from my parents, and my old life of endless prayer and abiding by the customs of our religion seemed a long way away.
.
The full reality didn’t hit home until I returned home to Birmingham at 22, after finishing my degree.
It was horrible. It felt like returning to a prison, and I could feel my father’s eyes burning into me, as if he knew. I tried to play the dutiful Muslim daughter, but I had changed.
I felt as if I was being smothered. My parents wanted me to live at home and work in Birmingham, but I got a job on a graduate sales training scheme in London. I convinced my parents it was a great honour.
With a new job and a new life, I fell in love with a colleague, Steve, and as a couple moved in together in an astonishing breach of her strict Muslim upbringing.
I still managed to keep it secret from my parents; my father was quite ill by now and they rarely travelled.
I would talk to them on my mobile phone, and we didn’t have a landline in the flat.
Steve and I lived together for two years, but then the relationship started to go wrong. He spent too much money, and he was very jealous and possessive of me.
.
When a job opportunity came up in the chain of stores I worked for in Birmingham, I seized it and moved back to get away from him. My parents were thrilled and they started talking seriously about an arranged marriage.
I realised I had two choices. I could either move back to London and live a Western life, bringing shame on my poor parents and estrange myself from the sisters, aunts and uncles I loved. Or I could go along with their dreams of an arranged marriage.
A Muslim husband would have the same values as me, and I would be firmly back within my family support system.
For a year I played the part of the dutiful daughter. I wore the hijab, even to work, and I helped my mother care for my father. His pleasure at my return was so touching.
.
Then last summer, my mother announced that she had found a prospective husband who came from an affluent Muslim family living in Pakistan.
As tradition demanded, the families had shared two ceremonial meetings and the parents of both prospective bride and groom agreed to a match.
In July, I flew to Pakistan to meet her “fiance” for the first time.
I was absolutely terrified. This was the man I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with.
I didn’t know if I would get on with him, or even if he would approve of me.
And at the back of my mind was this awful, sickening worry about my virginity.
But when I met him, I liked him immediately. He was 28, 6ft 3in tall with black hair and very handsome. He made me feel so welcome.
I spent a month at his parents’ house, and I grew to love my future husband. We didn’t kiss in all the time we were together, and I played the diligent Muslim girl who prayed five times a day, wore my hijab and kept my eyes downcast.
But as I said goodbye to my future husband and flew back to Birmingham, I really started to panic about my virginity.
Muslim tradition demands that on my wedding night, bridegroom will take the bloodied sheets to show his mother and aunts to prove that his bride is pure.
If I do not bleed, the wedding will be annulled, and I will be sent home in disgrace.
This was all I could think about. How could I fool my own husband and his family into believing that I was pure?
Through friends, I heard of a new operation to “restore” a torn hymen, and, in my desperation, I went onto the internet to find out more.
A few friends have already had this operation, though it has to be done with the utmost secrecy, as we would be disowned by our family if the news ever came out.
On the internet, I found the clinic of Dr Magdy Hend, at the Regency Clinic on Harley Street.
I went for an initial consultation, telling my family I was travelling to London on business, and was absolutely reassured.
The operation would cost £2,000 and would be done under local anaesthetic.
“Dr Hend said it would take only about an hour and a half, and I would be able to go back to work the next morning, though I had to be careful not to do anything which would make the hymen break, such as strenuous exercise.
The operation would involve taking the ‘torn’ parts of my hymen and basically stitching them back together, adding further tissue from the side of my vagina.
If I wanted, just prior to my wedding he could place a capsule of blood into the hymen which would ensure a healthy amount of blood. It sounds barbaric, but what choice did I have?
Inevitably, there was controversy when it emerged that taxpayers had funded such operations on the NHS, with MPs suggesting it was a sign of “social regression”.
But while I felt I had no choice, I preferred the discretion of a private clinic: The operation went just as he predicted. It was painless, and I can feel no difference at all.
I think I will have the blood capsule put in place, just to make sure. I’ve had to save up for months to afford it, and I still have student debts, but it is such a weight off my mind. I had been crying myself to sleep, wondering how I was going to cope, and now I know that my secret is safe.
I feel very sad that women like me feel so torn between our two cultures. Our religion is so rigid – yet I was brought up among Western friends who thought nothing of sleeping with their boyfriends.
It makes life so confusing and I feel so deeply for all the many Muslim girls in Britain who are caught in the same dilemma.
I was lucky, I suppose, in that I could afford to repair my ‘mistake’ so no one would know.
But it scares me to think what will happen to Muslim girls who do not have this option and are seen to be ‘shaming’ their families. They are the ones whose lives will be at risk.
And finally after 4 months I got married in Pakistan and on the wedding night, as usual, my husband penetrated and broke the hymen and the blood capsule bleeded and several stains of blood appeared on the bed sheet which were examined by an elderly women in the monrning. Husband and his family was proud of me having a virgin woman.
Time passed and one day, I came to know that my husband was already married and having kids. It came to me a big blow. I asked him why did he choose to marry me, he said as per religions, he can keep 4 wives.
OMG, I informed my ailing father and mom, they were also shocked. Domestic violence against me started and one day I was divorced. I contacted the prominent persons of my locality but of no use. Ultimately, I had to leave Pakistan and came back to UK with parents.
.
Again started working in Birminghmam mall and this time met with a Punjabi Hindu boy. Having lost so much in the life, I got attracted towards him. His wife had died with out any kids.Our relations grew more and more and one day I told my parents to marry him. They asked him to meet them. He met and discussed and did not put any condition to covert to Hindu. Ultimately parents agreed.
Now I am with him (Vivek), both respecting each other’s religion. I have a kid. My 2nd and 3rd sisters have married with British guys, as per their choice.
Due to growing age of parents, they have lost to put any pressure. -Tabbusum