Preeti says: September 1, 2025
Hello,
I am Preeti , a Hindu woman married to a Catholic man for the past 1.5 years. We had a Hindu wedding and registered our marriage under the Special Marriage Act. He was previously married in the church (with no children), but that marriage was annulled by the Catholic Church only a few months ago.
Before marriage, we agreed on three non-negotiables:
1. Neither of us will convert.
2. We will not live apart for work or any reason.
3. Our children will be officially registered in their father’s religion (for documents in India), but we will teach them both religions at home.
At the time, I did not fully understand the depth of Catholic dogmas and rules. My husband and I respect each other’s practices—he comes with me to temples, accepts prasad, and wears kumkum, while I go with him to church. But I was hurt when he told me I could not take communion, and also that we cannot have a family burial in the church since I am not Catholic.
Recently, while discussing children, I learned about the Catholic sacraments and the mandatory religious classes children must attend from a young age. I was shocked to see how rigid and exclusive the teachings are, especially ideas like “false gods” and “original sin.” I do not want my children to grow up with guilt or be indoctrinated into believing that only one religion is true.
Another disappointment was when I learned that my brother, whom I wanted as godfather to our future child, cannot be one because he is not Catholic. These restrictions make me feel excluded and saddened.
Another challenge is my in-laws. Before marriage, his mother expected me to convert. Later, when we set up our home, she pressured my husband to remove Hindu deities, saying priests wouldn’t enter otherwise. My husband is kind and loving, but struggles to set boundaries with his parents. He also avoids deep conversations about religion, saying “you are overthinking” whenever I bring up concerns. This leaves me feeling isolated and fearful about how we will handle our children’s upbringing.
I also discovered that if we were to marry in the church or baptize our children, I would have to sign a document promising to raise the children only in the Catholic faith. My husband dismisses it as “just a formality,” but I am deeply uncomfortable signing such an agreement when I know how binding these rituals are in practice.
My main concerns are (read Admin’s replies in comment section below):
• How can I protect my children from rigid indoctrination while still respecting both religions?
• What are the real implications of signing church documents about raising children Catholic?
• How can I communicate these issues with my husband when he avoids discussing them?
• How do I handle pressure from in-laws regarding conversion and children’s religious identity?
I love my husband very much, but I am distressed because he is not emotionally open to these conversations, and I am struggling with fear about our future as a family.
I would be grateful for any guidance, advice, or similar experiences that can help me navigate this situation.
Thank you in advance.
Preeti
Preeti added: September 16, 2025
Dear Admin,
Thank you so much for your guidance. I recently bought your book and started reading it—it has already opened up so many conversations in my marriage that I didn’t even know were necessary.
When I brought up the issue of those “signing documents” in the Catholic Church, my husband himself was surprised and said he would never want me to sign anything like that. I felt relieved to see him take that stand. But at the same time, he’s feeling so disheartened by how much control his religion tries to impose that, for now, he says he doesn’t even want children—though deep down, I know he does. It breaks my heart to see how unnecessary complications created by the Church are making him question such an important part of life.
His past experience makes it even clearer. When he was married before, he got a civil divorce through the courts, but the Church still refused him annulment—blocking him from moving on and having a full life. I didn’t care whether he had an annulment in the Church or not; for me and my family, what mattered was that the court had already granted him a divorce. We were completely fine with moving forward, so we had a proper Hindu wedding and registered our marriage under the Special Marriage Act. Instead of supporting people in such situations, the Church seems to create more restrictions, while at the same time expecting unquestioned loyalty and conversions. I honestly struggle to understand how this is helping anyone.
My way forward is to create balance. I plan to sit with him and go through both the Bhagavad Gita and the Bible together, and also revisit your book as a couple. I want him to see clearly what both traditions actually say, so we can think beyond the lens of control and indoctrination.
I also spoke to my parents about this journey, and even they didn’t realize how deeply the Church tries to interfere in marriages. Thankfully, they’re fully supportive, which gives me strength.
Even though there are challenges, I feel hopeful. With the support of this forum, your book, and my family, I believe I can encourage my husband to think openly and not stay trapped by religious conditioning. After all, we only get this one life together—we shouldn’t let outside forces stop us from living it fully.
I’ll keep this forum posted as things progress, hoping it helps others in similar situations too
Preeti
More information: Interfaith marriage with equality, Hindu-Catholic Marriage, Bible on Hindus? Marriage & Divorce laws.
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Dear Admin,
Thank you so much for your guidance. I recently bought your book and started reading it—it has already opened up so many conversations in my marriage that I didn’t even know were necessary.
When I brought up the issue of those “signing documents” in the Catholic Church, my husband himself was surprised and said he would never want me to sign anything like that. I felt relieved to see him take that stand. But at the same time, he’s feeling so disheartened by how much control his religion tries to impose that, for now, he says he doesn’t even want children—though deep down, I know he does. It breaks my heart to see how unnecessary complications created by the Church are making him question such an important part of life.
His past experience makes it even clearer. When he was married before, he got a civil divorce through the courts, but the Church still refused him annulment—blocking him from moving on and having a full life. I didn’t care whether he had an annulment in the Church or not; for me and my family, what mattered was that the court had already granted him a divorce. We were completely fine with moving forward, so we had a proper Hindu wedding and registered our marriage under the Special Marriage Act. Instead of supporting people in such situations, the Church seems to create more restrictions, while at the same time expecting unquestioned loyalty and conversions. I honestly struggle to understand how this is helping anyone.
My way forward is to create balance. I plan to sit with him and go through both the Bhagavad Gita and the Bible together, and also revisit your book as a couple. I want him to see clearly what both traditions actually say, so we can think beyond the lens of control and indoctrination.
I also spoke to my parents about this journey, and even they didn’t realize how deeply the Church tries to interfere in marriages. Thankfully, they’re fully supportive, which gives me strength.
Even though there are challenges, I feel hopeful. With the support of this forum, your book, and my family, I believe I can encourage my husband to think openly and not stay trapped by religious conditioning. After all, we only get this one life together—we shouldn’t let outside forces stop us from living it fully.
I’ll keep this forum posted as things progress, hoping it helps others in similar situations too
Preeti
Dear Preeti,
Thank you for continuing to sharing your experiences. It will help 100s others who reads this.
We also guided another Hindu young girl (in her early 20s from the USA) who, sadly, recently broke up with the Catholic boyfriend. The Catholic party was adamant that Children must be Catholic and that point was not negotiable. Your situation is different. You are already married and your husband is not as adamant as the other one. Your husband is a divorcee and hope he learned a lesson of life not to ruin married life second time, now due to a church.
We highly recommend you to read this version of Bible–Holy Bible. The Gideons (1217 pages). There are so many versions, some are very difficult to understand (like King James). We like The Holy Geeta by Swami Chinmayananda (1254 pages). It will take you a long to read them. However, meantime read these https://interfaithshaadi.org/bible-on-hindus/ and https://interfaithshaadi.org/geeta-abrahamic/ and use your Bible and Gita as reference books.
You said, “I honestly struggle to understand how this is helping anyone.” People have killed millions in name of God. Even today, religious wars are ongoing. Some people carry very strong views about their faith and many of those views are non-negotiable. For you as an interfaith married person, focus on your own situation–how best to educate your husband to learn to interpret his scriptures. For example, read, https://www.patheos.com/blogs/equalityforhappiness/2022/08/follow-jesus-not-the-church/ . We will guide you.
You said, “…my parents about this journey, and even they didn’t realize how deeply the Church tries to interfere in marriages.” It is sad that educated people like your family are not aware of religious fanatism in churches and mosques. Bollywood movies will show only wonderful churches, not their sermons. Catholic churches are like corporations, they have their SOPs to follow. No one can deviate from rules. Probably for this reason, Europeans are now moving away from churches. Islam is even 100 years behind Christianity in term of tolerating interfaith marriages, read https://www.patheos.com/blogs/equalityforhappiness/2025/07/99-of-interfaith-marriage-bans-found-in-muslim-nations/ and watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mpOiF1IlcI .
You may not know but if you don’t convert or not agree to raised children in the Catholic faith, the church may take away your in-laws’ communion rights and remove their reserved burial site, if they have one associated with the church. Their church community may outcaste them. Read more here https://interfaithshaadi.org/section-3-14-a-church-prenuptial-is-a-must/ . Ultimately all these blamed will be put on your shoulder since you are adamant for not signing the prenuptial document.
Preeti, one request. Rome was not built in a day. Nothing is going to happen overnight. Do not bombard your husband with 1000s of questions. Instead continue to give him love and affections (if that is the way you feel). However, take one of the most critical points at a time and address them. It will take years to see results. Sorry, there is no easy overnight fix.
Stay in touch! We will do our best to support you.
Dear Preeti, thank you for sharing your painful life story. It is good that your husband is still open minded and understands irrational Catholic dogmas, but unfortunately he is not ready to educate his parents. Now your role is to go on a mission of getting educated and slowly teach all to your husband. We have published books, many articles and videos, that should help you how to educate him. However, it may take years so have patience.
These are your specific questions:
• How can I protect my children from rigid indoctrination while still respecting both religions?
Keep the church out of your life, simple! Never baptize/Christening your children. This way, in their eyes, your son is still a sinner. Let it be! Ultimately they will remove your son from their life and your problem will be solved. Ideally it is better if they realize that their grandchild is divine, even without baptism.
• What are the real implications of signing church documents about raising children Catholic?
These are legal documents and it could impact your chance of getting child custody after divorce. There is nothing you have to gain by signing this legal document, only it will bring more trouble later.
• How can I communicate these issues with my husband when he avoids discussing them?
Go slowly but firmly. Tell him to “be a man!” Ask him to learn to communicate based on facts.
• How do I handle pressure from in-laws regarding conversion and children’s religious identity?
Do not engage with them directly, they are not your problem. Deal directly with your husband. It is his responsibility to protect you. You are adults, it is your own life, so parents should not bother here.
Stay in touch!
Admin