Ronak says: October 1, 2018 at 9:19 pm
M a gujrati boy and in love with a jain girl we both want to marry each other but the fact is my gf or my future wife is afraid of samaj and parents she dont wants to hurt anyone .m also even ready to convert into jainism and even ready to talk to samaj for permission plz guide me where to contact samaj
admin says: October 1, 2018 at 9:33 pm
Hi Ronak,
This is a difficult issue and there is no easy answer. You cannot talk to her samaj, because they don’t want to hear you. They have made up their mind that interfaith marriages are bad. Even it is wrong for the samaj if she picked a Jain boy of her choice. Parents want to “own” their children and wish them to dance at their tune. This can change only if parents realize that they don’t have any option left.
Are you financially stable (meaning having good job)? Is the girl also well educated? Is she committed for you and ready to go against her parents (only for a short while)? If yes, tell parents that this is your choice and stick to it. It will take a year or two for parents to finally give in. Do not expect them to bend in short period. So, are you both ready for the fight against parents? It takes a lot to go against parents and is not a cup of tea for all. Read experiences of all others at https://interfaithshaadi.org/?cat=38 and it may give you additional ideas. Best wishes.
Ronak says: October 4, 2018 at 4:32 am
She wants to marry me she even stoped me from marrying other girl at last moments she doest not have any fear of samaj her fear is hers parents.. Her dad is no more she has only mom as a parent she dosent want any fight or any issues in future which hurt her mom..in future i have told my parents about both of us and my parents are agreed financially i m well settled and stabled m ready to change my cast also but i dnt want to loose her in any condition m ready to talk with her parents or other family member..m ready to face their shouting or to kneel down before her family..m ready to do anything but i cant loose her plz help me… -Ronak
More information: Jain-Hindu Marriage Situations, Jain-Hindu Relationships, Muslim-Jain Relationships.
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Dear Ronak,
The responsibility of convincing her own mother/family should primarily lie with your girlfriend/wife-to-be. It will be easier for her to do this, especially if you are ready to convert/have already converted. The Jain community in India and even abroad is quite conservative from what I have seen with my friends. But once the girl crosses the age of 30 or more, I have also seen that they stop caring so much about the caste/subcaste issues and just hope that the girl will just get married to anyone but a Muslim ? if you talk to her mother directly and explain that you will love her daughter and take care of each other, she will eventually agree to your marriage. The trick is to be patient and try to win over her family with love. Best of luck!
Hi Ronak,
You are in good share and has a good chance of success. Only you have to do is to make your girl friend strong speaking out for truth. If a doctor gives you a bitter pill to swallow, does it makes the doctor bad person when he has good intention of curing you? Explain it to your girl that her mother may not like on a short term, but you are willing to accept her as your own mother and make her happiest person on this earth. Is a short term pain of her mother important or a long term of happiness of your girl and her mother?
What is stopping you from going forward?