Authors: Dr. Dilip Amin (Hindu) and Dr. Mike Mohamed Ghouse (Muslim)
Source: Patheos. Also published at HinduPost, Center for Pluralism, The Scribe,
Above photo: Hindu Professor Bhargav weds Muslim Physician Hajra without any one converting their faith.
For a long time, Muslim men married women of the book–Jews, Christians, and Muslims (Abrahamic), while Muslim women rarely married outside Islam. Likewise, Hindus married only within their faith or sometimes to others from the Dharmic (Buddhist, Jain, and Sikh) traditions. These norms are changing; American Muslim women are marrying non-Muslim men.
In America today, according to the Pew and Dr. Amin’s surveys (38% Hindu, 45% Muslim), about 40% of Hindus, Muslims and others marry interfaith. This trend is gaining momentum. This article is written to promote pluralism and equality in Hindu-Muslim marriages in America.
The increased interfaith marriages are due to globalization and the secularization of societies. Today’s young Hindus and Muslims who grew up as minorities in American schools or at the workplace are continually exposed to each other, spend time together studying, dining, and working, and sometimes falling in love.
Initially, faith is not a consideration in their relationship, but it becomes an issue when the couple decides to get married. Lovers have no filters, but parents and societies do. Parents are not at fault either; they cannot fathom the relationship, because they grew up in closed-minded societies with historical conflicts between Hindus and Muslims.
Hindu Professor Bhargav weds Muslim Physician Hajra
Scriptures
It is said that if God did not want a Muslim-Hindu marriage, it would have been said in the Quran or Geeta. God does not make mistakes; instead he empowers us to figure out our own equilibrium. Further, the Quran calls there is no compulsion in matters of faith. [Quran 2:256]
“And among His signs is that He created mates for you from among yourselves (it could mean a Muslim as well a Hindu) so that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed love and compassion between you. In these are signs for people who reflect.” [Quran 30:21]
Indeed, the Quran is a universal book of guidance for Muslims; it does not say God puts love between two Muslims but two humans as if He has installed magnetic attraction between two individuals that brings them together. Therefore, there is no reason to believe Quran will restrict a marriage of Muslim to a Hindu (where “Hindu” should mean the person will remain the same after the marriage and till death). India’s renowned poet Ghalib writes that love happens; no one starts out saying I want to love this person. There is no reason or rhyme for falling in love.
Fundamental religious beliefs between Islam and other faiths (read 1, 2) could certainly bring complexities to many interfaith couples. Most Islamic communities believe that a marriage must be “accepted” by Allah. For this reason, a Muslim would expect the non-Muslim spouse to convert to Islam before an Islamic wedding ceremony, the Nikah. This practice (expectation of conversion of the non-Muslim spouse for Nikah) can be challenged based on today’s pluralistic world view.
The same can be said for orthodox Christian or Catholic communities for asking for conversion prior to a church wedding. A Hindu may not ask the Muslim intended spouse to convert to Hinduism but will certainly want him or her to follow certain Hindu practices.
It is important also to understand Quran 2:221, “Do not marry women who associate others with Allah (polytheists, idolaters), until they believe in Allah. A believing bonded woman is better than a woman who associates others with Allah, even if she pleases you. Do not marry men who associate others with Allah until they believe in Allah. A believing bonded man is better than a man who associates others with Allah, even if he pleases you…”
This verse is cited to compel conversion before marriage, but it simply says that compatibility is the key to the success of any marriage. God loves harmony among his creation, particularly the married couples. In the above verse, the wisdom of the Quran emphasizes compatibility and suggests marrying a person who is on the same wavelength as you are, rather than a person with a conflicting belief.
We need to understand the essence of God’s wisdom rather than the literal text (for example, Allah and Ishvar), as the words do expand and shrink in meaning. Everyone is a believer, whether you are a Muslim, Pagan or a Hindu, as far you do believe in accountability of your karma (or action). Even atheists have their beliefs. Atheists of today are responsible and accountable for their actions, sometimes more than some religious people.
In Islam, there is a prohibition to the marriage of Muslims to polytheists or idolatress, however Hindus are not polytheists nor idol-worshipers. They have liberty to express the God by many names and forms, as is clearly expressed in Rig Veda; as Ekam sat, vipra bahudha vadanti (there is only one Truth, but expressed in various ways). The forms and names are options available to a Hindu but are not mandatory. A practicing Hindu may not use any form or name of God while meditating but may want to use an iconic representation of God (murti) during pooja (worship).
The authors will leave interpretations of scriptural statements to the couple in love.
Pluralism in Interfaith Marriage
In today’s pluralistic and secular society, especially in America, religion is increasingly becoming personal in nature applicable to the believers of that faith. However, a Hindu-Muslim couple will find resistance from parents and communities for the way they may wish to run their married life or raise children.
In the past, every Hindu or Muslim society preferred their daughters to marry within the faith, believing that it will prevent divorce and the risk of their daughters returning to their homes. These rules were framed when women did not work and depended on their parents or husbands for sustenance in the South Asian societies. But today in America, most women are independent and take care of themselves and probably will not be a “burden” to their parents.
People are conditioned to think in binary terms – Halal or Haram, Zero and One, Day and Night, Black and White, and they are comfortable with it. No tradition wants to lose a member of their culture to the other, whether you are a Hindu or Muslim. For these reasons, these two societies will not allow a Hindu-Muslim couple to marry without hassle.
In Muslim conservative countries, an imam may not perform the Islamic Nikah without conversion (Shahadah) of the Hindu party, however in America, a progressive Imam would perform Islamic Nikah without conversion of the Hindu party. To avert the marital gridlock, sometimes a Hindu may fake-convert. Young adults should understand that any religious commitment for marriage is not a hollow ritual. It has deep meaning and consequences. Fake-conversion could also have legal consequences, especially during child-custody battles during a potential divorce proceeding. Instead of a fake-conversion, it is better to be truthfuland honest (truthfulness is emphasized over 75 times in the Quran, it is one of the central values of Islam), especially when other options are available, meaning a “Hindu” can marry a Muslim without conversion.
If a Hindu-Muslim couple manages to have an in-depth conversation with their parents as adults, or seek guidance from an interfaith Marriage officiant, or a marriage counselor, others may come together to support the couple. Invariably, even if the parents are reluctant initially, they will come together when they have their grandchildren. America brings positive changes in every American, especially when there is an intention to share and respect with equality from both sides.
God is within us, He is “closer to us than our jugular veins” (Quran 50:16), meaning He is aware of what goes on with us. No one in the family or workplace would ever question the rituals you follow on the toilet seat, why should they question how you pray? America is a land of liberty and freedom, the Hindu-Muslim couple can always think outside the box. Parents too may ultimately come to accept when they see that their children are happy. Happiness is indeed the bottom line for all parents.
Real-world Issues
Getting married is only the start of a long-married life journey. Further, in all practical sense, a marriage is not only a marriage of two individuals but, to a large extent, an alliance of two extended families and cultures. If Hindu and Muslim parents and close families are at odds or cannot stand each other in one room for two hours, that will inevitably bring major problems in couple’s life later.
A couple’s happiness is based on how they manage their married life affairs. Lack of communication is one of the reasons for divorce. There are many additional difficulties the Hindu-Muslim couple can expect to face.
Coming now to the logistics, a Hindu-Muslim couple must pay attention to many unique aspects. A partial list is given below. Many of the points below are binary, thus leaving a limited room for “both ways” or “a middle way” as wished by pluralists or seculars.
- How will you get married? Will it be is Islamic Nikah, Hindu Vivaha, civil wedding, or an interfaith wedding with both traditions giving fullness to their relationship?
- Does the Hindu party have to take Shahadah (conversion) before Nikah? Will the Muslim party also formally convert to Hinduism for Vivaha?
- Will Hindu party be asked to accept a new Islamic name?
- Will there be any expectation of change in the dress code (hijab, sari or bindi)?
- Will there be any restriction against performing namaz or pooja in the home or for displaying a photo of Kaaba or murti of Lord Ganesh in the living room?
- What will be names of children, will that be Muslim, Hindu, or none of these?
- Will children have circumcision (sunnat)?
- How will children be raised? What religion would they follow? Will that be only one faith, both faiths or none?
- Will children visit both, only one or none of two religious institutions?
- Will your children be taught from the Quran and Geeta, only one or none?
- Will children celebrate both religious holidays, from only one faith or none?
- Will your family eat a meat-based or vegetarian only diet?
- Will there be any restriction on alcoholic beverages in the home?
- Would you visit and donate to both, only one or none of two religious’ institutions?
- How would you insulate your spouse from your parents, when necessary?
- When societies look down upon you, how will you manage outsiders?
- When you visit relatives in an Islamic country, that country may not approve your non-Islamic wedding or a Muslim-Hindu marriage and may decline the visa. How will you manage such legal issues including related to inheritance?
- Will you or your children be buried Islamic way or cremated as per Hindu rites? Sorry, both or none are not an option here!
Two bolded items, children’s name and their religion, are the most important points on this list.
On many of the above points, a true pluralistic couple will decide to do both ways; for example, to teach children from Geeta and Quran. An exclusivist supremacist person will impose his or her religious ideology on their spouse and will propose to settle for only one of two or three ways. Those couples not ready to face reality now may opt for neither of two religious options. It is ultimately the couple’s choice how to run their private life.
How many of these above decisions are made to please one party over the other? Is there a good equality and consideration from both parties? If the couple cannot find any agreement on any of the above points, it is good to pause and reexamine their commitment to interfaith marriage.
Concluding Remarks
Even in the best of marriages, the spouse’s religious beliefs and commitment and acceptance by parents can bring conflicts during married life. The strength of one’s religious beliefs evolves over the years as one approaches marriageable age, more when the couple reaches the parental stage and even more so when they reach the retirement age. It is hoped that all young Hindu-Muslim couples contemplating marriage will find this article helpful in thinking through the additional complexities due to religion.
Pluralism is respecting the otherness of the other, including faith, political belief, and the culture of others. It is about admiring the goodness in others without asking them to be your copycat. Islam (read 1, 2) and Hinduism are fundamentally pluralistic faiths. If the couple is truly a pluralist and believe in equality of two faiths, a successful and ever-lasting Hindu-Muslim married life is possible.
About Authors:
Dr. Dilip Amin is a Director of the Peninsula Multifaith Coalition of the San Francisco Bay area, a certified speaker at Islamic Networks Group, and a Dharma Ambassador of the Hindu American Foundation. Dr. Amin has co-authored the book Hindu Vivaha Samskara. He founded the web forum InterfaithShaadi.org and guided 1200 youths and summarized his experiences in the book–Interfaith Marriage: Share & Respect with Equality. He is also the founder of HinduSpeakers.org.
Dr. Mike Mohamed Ghouse is a Social Scientist, Public Speaker, thinker, author, newsmaker, and an interfaith wedding officiant. He is deeply committed to Pluralism in Religion, Politics, and Societies along with Human rights, and religious freedom. He is the founder and president of the Center for Pluralism, Director at World Muslim Congress a think tank and a wedding officiant at Interfaith Marriages. His new book American Muslim Agenda is available on Amazon and “Standing up for others” is coming soon. He is committed to building cohesive societies and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day.
Please reach out to authors for any comments or questions at InterfaithShaadi.
#conversion, #hindu, #marriage, #muslim, #nikah, #patheos, #vivah
More information: Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia, Muslim-Hindu marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus? Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Marriage & Divorce laws.
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Hi,
I am a 29 year old Hindu girl. My partner is a 29 year old Muslim boy and we fell in love about 6 months ago. We live in the US. We are both completely okay with each other’s faith and are liberal about how faith should guide us in the way of life. To be very honest, we are both not very strictly religious and view our faiths as a mere guideline into unraveling the truth of our world. We also believe that ultimately love, emotional and intellectual compatibility are key to a happy long term relationship. He revealed to me 2 months ago that his dad and mom (who are divorced for context but are remarried to their now spouses) are very conservative and would not understand the relationship. I want to get advice on how he should go about broaching this subject with his parents and convincing them that this interfaith relationship is rooted in love and happiness. My parents were also worried about our compatibility but we were able to work through that and they realized that choosing love and happiness is what they want for me.
Hello,
I am a 45 year old who is in a relationship with a 21 year old muslim guy. yes yes, i know i have my reasons and it started out as a mistake then physical but now he’s an integral part of my life and opened me up sexually and emotionally and i dont regret it so please dont judge me for it. I even found out i like the circumcised penis better. Now, i would never leave my husband or family or convert or such ( infact he is moving to another city in 6 months), so beofre going he would like to do a mock nikah and i am thinking it over to humour him. My question is, is it safe to do it discreetly? Or would it appear in some documentation? Also, is there anyway if thats the case, i can write him into my will ? is there any legal validity to such a thing? additionally, if i do this, what can i expect ? ( Disclaimer” He is not at all a religious person and i think this is more of a kink for him before going)
P.S: Please dont judge me if possible.
Thanks to autors for raising the intellect of society.
I have seen so far that this is always easy for Hindus to accept other gods because they are praying multiple forms of gods since birth.
It is always very difficult and rare in Muslims to accept anyother god in equavalent to God.
I wish Muslims also understand mutual respect as integrated part of healthy society. This responsibility lies on religious institutions and families to respect all views other than Qoran.
QUESTIONING OUR ATTITUDES
Raj – Most couples live their lives with their faith. Let them live as they please. You missed the part where I have said you don’t question the rituals we observe on a toilet seat; why should we question their prayer rituals? If the couple chose to live the way they want to live for minimum conflicts – why should it bother me? What is your loss?
Mukundan: Do you live in the US or India? Yes, it would be not easy in India, but not in the US – neither of them is religious. Regardless, when you fall in love, religion does not matter. Spirituality or rituals don’t matter to them. All they know is they can enjoy each other’s company and live in harmony.
Shashi – thanks for the note, the pluralism aspect of Islam is not observed in most countries. Indeed, that is the case with Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, and other conservatives. Jordan, Egypt, Lebanon, Malaysia, Indonesia… they are relatively pluralistic ** note at the bottom
Dane – most Muslims, Hindus, Christians, and Jews get along with everyone, and most have zero problems with what others do. Yes, the majority of Muslims that I know, and I know quite a lot, were looking for someone to speak their thoughts, and when I do, they find me in tune with them. Nothing changes overnight; we need to give time to people to absorb it.
Ahmed – Please read my article. “Can a Muslim woman marry a non-Muslim,” cited in the article? Check out all the verses you have mentioned and see the wisdom of God, as I have explained. God is not a little guy, God is the common God of all humanity. He is not your God, my God or Dilip’s God. He is God of the universe of which we are a part of. And all of us are his creation. He will not discriminate against one over the other. Yes, the Muslim scholars from the past have written what they understood. If you believe the Quran is for the entire humanity, then you will not reduce Islam to be a narrow political group. Quran calls on you to question everything and not blindly believe what is dished out to you. If you read the article and want to discuss it, I am all for it. Read my book American Muslim Agenda, available at Amazon.
If you pray five times a day, you say, anywhere from 17-51 times, that only God is the judge and not us. I hope you mean it.
The Common-Sense Islamic Value 12/20
Topic: Pluralism
Video – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10xS0fuqM1Y
Precisely – Quran is about pluralism, and Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was a living example of it. It means respecting the otherness of the other in religion, culture, and other aspects of life. 109:6 You have your religion, and I have mine.” Safi Kaskas. You are who you are, and I am who I am – let’s figure out how to live with minimum conflicts. Pluralism is an Islamic value that contributes to building cohesive societies. It creates active functional communities with the least rows. I chose to become a Muslim because of this aspect of the Quranic teachings.
12 Islamic values in the book American Muslim Agenda
https://worldmuslimcongress.org/islamic-value-pluralism/
Dear Dlilip,
Kareena Kapoor and Saif, Shah Rukh Khan and Gauri are not any examples for Muslims. Their marriage nothing to do with Islam.
Islam has clear guidance:
Islam clearly forbidden Muslim boys to marry Non-Muslim polytheist woman. Islam forced Muslim boys to Marry only Muslim girls. It is good for them. Prefer to marry Muslim girls, even though they are ugly or not pleases you
marry them. Prefer not to marry non-Muslim polytheist woman even she ready to convert to Islam.
Muslim men allow to marry people of the book if they believe in Monotheism. Protestant not to Catholic.
Muslim Girls do not allow to Marry any Non-Muslim as I presented the Quran Versus.
There is a ruling. Whoever insults Islam, Its teaching, its guidance are out of the fold of Islam.
This ruling applied to Saif Ali Khan and Shah Rukh Khan or anybody who did not care Islamic teachings. ( Because their marriage is not acceptable if she did not convert to Islam. Secondly if they are doing sex it is called illegal sex and Zina. You are doing a sin intentionally. It is against the practices of Islam)
I did not consider them Muslim anymore. Even Mohammed Asghar I did not consider him Muslim.
Rest Allah knows what is in their hearts and minds. What is apparent to us and what we see, this rule is applied.
Dear Ahmed,
We said Islam is a pluralistic faith, but you are saying that is not true. We also said in this article …
• Hindus are not polytheists nor idol-worshipers.
• Everyone is a believer, whether you are a Muslim, Pagan or a Hindu, as far you do believe in accountability of your karma (or action). Even atheists have their beliefs.
• There is no reason to believe Quran will restrict a marriage of Muslim to a Hindu.
• A progressive Imam would perform Islamic Nikah without conversion of the Hindu party, meaning a “Hindu” can marry a Muslim without conversion.
How many of these are true as per your belief? What should we tell to Hindu-Muslim youths in love about Islamic teachings?
From Mike Ghouse:
Ahmed – Please read my article. “Can a Muslim woman marry a non-Muslim,” cited in the article? Check out all the verses you have mentioned and see the wisdom of God, as I have explained. God is not a little guy, God is the common God of all humanity. He is not your God, my God or Dilip’s God. He is God of the universe of which we are a part of. And all of us are his creation. He will not discriminate against one over the other. Yes, the Muslim scholars from the past have written what they understood. If you believe the Quran is for the entire humanity, then you will not reduce Islam to be a narrow political group. Quran calls on you to question everything and not blindly believe what is dished out to you. If you read the article and want to discuss it, I am all for it. Read my book American Muslim Agenda, available at Amazon.
If you pray five times a day, you say, anywhere from 17-51 times, that only God is the judge and not us. I hope you mean it.
The Common-Sense Islamic Value 12/20
Topic: Pluralism
Video – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10xS0fuqM1Y
Precisely – Quran is about pluralism, and Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was a living example of it. It means respecting the otherness of the other in religion, culture, and other aspects of life. 109:6 You have your religion, and I have mine.” Safi Kaskas. You are who you are, and I am who I am – let’s figure out how to live with minimum conflicts. Pluralism is an Islamic value that contributes to building cohesive societies. It creates active functional communities with the least rows. I chose to become a Muslim because of this aspect of the Quranic teachings.
12 Islamic values in the book American Muslim Agenda
https://worldmuslimcongress.org/islamic-value-pluralism/
Hi Mike,
I love your pluralistic views. I wish other Muslims learn from you and I am glad to associate with you. Keep it up!
Why you said, “I chose to become a Muslim because of this aspect of the Quranic teachings”? You were born in a Sunni Muslim family, is that not true? What do you mean by “become”? Generally people who convert use this term. What you “become” from what to what?
Dear Dilip,
As per Islamic teaching – Final no if and but. Muslim man can marry to Non-Muslims woman like Jews and Christians the people of book. Some scholars says Santana Suvarna Dharma Hindu are worshipper of one and only Eshwar and people of the book Muslim can marry them. But today they are worshipping 27 Gods and Goddesses Idols. Majority of the scholars have the opinion it is not permitted. The Holy Quran forced Muslim boys to marry Muslim girls, poor, not beautiful, even they are not pleases you. But marry them because they are more better than non-Muslim girls.
Muslim Girls marrying to Non-Muslim boys – It is forbidden. Strictly tell the father, mother and brothers that do not marry your daughter to Non-Muslims.
Here Under all evidence mentioned from the Holy Quran. This is the final ruling. No arguments. No XYZ talk non-sense.
👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
AL Quran 5:5
This day [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking [secret] lovers. And whoever denies the faith – his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.
“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you…”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
Can a Muslim man marry a Christian or Jewish woman?
It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman if she is Christian or Jewish, but it is not permissible for him to marry a non-Muslim woman who follows any religion other than these two.
Can a Muslim man marry a non-Muslim woman?
But it is not permissible for a Muslim man to marry a Magian (Zoroastrian) woman or a communist woman or an idol-worshipping woman, etc.
The evidence for that is the verse in which Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And do not marry Al-Mushrikat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you” [al-Baqarah 2:221]
A mushrikah is an idol-worshipping woman who worships stones, whether from among the Arabs or others.
Can a Muslim woman marry a non-Muslim man?
It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man from any other religion, whether from among the Jews or Christians, or any other religion. It is not permissible for her to marry a Jew, a Christian , a Magian, a communist, an idol-worshipper, etc.
Evidence for the prohibition of marrying a non-Muslim man
The evidence for that is the verse in which Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikun till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikun) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember.” [al-Baqarah 2:221]
Ahmed,
What a Sunni major mosque in American told me is in line with what you are saying. This is what they told me, “The Hindu party MUST convert (Shahadah) to Islam before nikaah (Islamic wedding). The Hindu wedding will not be acceptable by the Muslim community. The Hindu party must agree to raise children from the marriage in Sunni faith only and not teach children about the Hindu faith. Children cannot be raised or expose to two faiths, that is Hindu and Muslim, but raised only in the Islamic faith. If the Hindu party has not converted to Islam (eg. Kareena Kapoor-Khan), that that marriage is not considered valid (zina or illicit sexual relations) and Hindu will not be allowed to pray at the mosque.”
Does this applies to all Islamic faiths (except Ismaili)?
Assuming that Mike resented the Islamic point of view, it’s so sorry to see millions of Muslims do not agree with Mike’s point of view in their daily life. We know cases in the Indian sub-continent where non-muslims r just seen as animals or treated worse than animals when they r alive or dead.
Mike needs to ensure he represents at least the majority of Muslims and Quran must be presented as it is.
From Mike Ghouse:
Dane – most Muslims, Hindus, Christians, and Jews get along with everyone, and most have zero problems with what others do. Yes, the majority of Muslims that I know, and I know quite a lot, were looking for someone to speak their thoughts, and when I do, they find me in tune with them. Nothing changes overnight; we need to give time to people to absorb it.
Thanks, Mike and Dilip for the great insight on Hindu-Muslim marriage. The pluralism aspect of Islam was never observed in any of the Islamic countries. It’s good to learn that Islam is plural.
Shashi, you are right for most Muslim countries. Hiddush (http://marriage.hiddush.org) conducted Freedom of Marriage survey and found severe marriage restrictions in Israel and also in Muslim (62%; 33/53) and Christian (7%; 8/120) majority nations, but not in Hindu/Buddhist (0%; 0/14) majority nations. At least Israel allows a loophole, that they will accept civil marriages held abroad, not Muslim countries.
A country like Iran will not give visa to “Hindu”-Muslim couple married without conversion, because as per them it is against Koran.
Malaysia, a “Hindu”-Muslim couple cannot settle there becasue that marriage is invalid as per their own interpretation of the Koran (read details here https://interfaithshaadi.org/malaysian-interfaith-marriage-laws/). The “Hindu” will never get Malaysian MyKad (national ID card) since they will allow only if both the spouse’s MyKads say “Islam”. In fact, the Muslim who goes through a marriage or even cohabits with non-Muslim runs the risk of falling foul of a number of offences under State Syariah (the Malay spelling of “Sharia”) Criminal Law prohibiting fornication (zina) and close proximity (khalwat).
From Mike Ghouse:
Shashi – thanks for the note, the pluralism aspect of Islam is not observed in most countries. Indeed, that is the case with Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, and other conservatives. Jordan, Egypt, Lebanon, Malaysia, Indonesia… they are relatively pluralistic ** note at the bottom
Some more serious research should be conducted on the life of interfaith couples, how their life fared, how they and their children developed a unitive spiritual culture and practices, how did it promote social harmony, etc. Marriage and death are the most important life cycle rituals. A marriage will be successful only when there is a harmonious, matching karmic bond between the two souls, purity of gothra, and most importantly matching spiritual practices based on evolutionary spiritual knowledge. Marriage, according to the Rishi wisdom, is not just to continue the bloodline, but to evolve spiritually to the knowledge and realisation of the Supreme Truth for ultimate mukthi or liberation from the karmic bonds and birth cycles. The present day youth and their parents are not fully aware of the depth of the ritual called marriage. Similar is the case with death ceremony. The after death rituals are very important for the departed soul. The Hindu philosophy puts much importance to this, as it’s based on the science of rebirth and spiritual evolution of souls through multiple births. It’s the duty of the relatives of the dead to ensure the peace of the departed souls through Shraddha ceremonies, charities, etc. So there are serious conceptual issues involved. The very purpose and the spiritual fulfillment of marriage could be lost in the process of modern interfaith marriages.
Dear Mukundan,
You have raised excellent points from Hindu perspective. I am sure it is the same for the Muslim side too (except we know Hindu marriage is sacrament while Muslim Nikah is a contract). Unfortunately youths in Hindu-Muslim love think they can easily get over all these obstacles against their love and decide to marry and have children.
Note I am not here to promote or condemn interfaith marriages, but only to help youths make “fully informed” decisions. We have laid down all QAs in the article for interfaith couples. We trust they are intelligent to make the right decision for their life.
On your another point, “Some more serious research should be conducted on the life of interfaith couples, how their life fared, how they and their children developed a unitive spiritual culture and practices, how did it promote social harmony, etc.”, unfortunately there is none. I have guided 1200 youths on this site and found most are going through immense pain due to intolerance by their parents and religious institutions (read it yourself on this site). I personally know a handful of cases where such couples are doing superb.
Expectation of conversion of the intended Hindu spouse for Nikah is a norm so far, in the USA as well around world (see Sunni’s position). Mike is the first imam who I came across who is willing to go public saying he has/will conduct “Hindu”-Muslim marriages. I admire this and appreciate such pluralistic thinking. Let’s hope many more imams/pandits will come forward endorsing the same. Such true respect for others will help bring social harmony between communities.
As indian subcontinent interfaith couples maximum hindu muslim couple marriage case after marriage their living style run as islamic rules not as hindu rules ,if they marry at special marriage act than also I see islamic dominance
Their baby also take islamic name
I see that at my own family
That is absolutely supremacist exclusivist ideology. Too sad. We hope this article will put seeds in at least educated Muslims’ mind in India to learn pluralism.
Dilip, Indian Muslims are very pluralistic. One must admire them. Indian Muslims believe in non-violence, and they practice it. I am a product of it. Over 200 Muslims have been lynched since 2014, their livelihoods are at stake, and they cannot go to college wearing Hijab, which they wore for 1400 years. Several Idiots have called for their genocide …. yet, they have not entertained the idea of retaliation. I hope you see this point of view.
Honestly, Hindus have concerns that Muslims may be tolerant when they are minority but as soon as they are majority, minorities must convert or pack up and move out. If you are not sure what I am talking about, see number of Hindus left in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Kashmir and Bangladesh.
Are you saying Muslims as minority condition is worst in India compared to Hindu minorities in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Kashmir and Bangladesh?
Now on “Over 200 Muslims have been lynched since 2014”, are you saying Hindus are more violent compared to Muslims? To get such answer, let’s run a new survey and we will publish on it. Let’s cite number of people killed by Muslims (including their own type) in name of Allah compared to number of people killed by Hindus for religious reasons in last 1, 10, 100 and 1000 years. I think that will give a true picture of the story.
From Mike Ghouse:
Raj – Most couples live their lives with their faith. Let them live as they please. You missed the part where I have said you don’t question the rituals we observe on a toilet seat; why should we question their prayer rituals? If the couple chose to live the way they want to live for minimum conflicts – why should it bother me? What is your loss?
From Mike Ghouse:
Mukundan: Do you live in the US or India? Yes, it would be not easy in India, but not in the US – neither of them is religious. Regardless, when you fall in love, religion does not matter. Spirituality or rituals don’t matter to them. All they know is they can enjoy each other’s company and live in harmony.