Hindu-Jain married life in hell

Sia says: August 11, 2014 at 12:22 pm

Hello, I (Hindu) married to a Jain boy. I life is like a hell. What to do?

I don’t know how to worship in Jain dharma, so I do my Brahmin chanting. My husband is forcing me to do his religion worship. The force is become intolerant.

I was pregnant at that time he did not allow me to listen Hindu chanting!! If he or his mother saw me while I was listening they fight with me. And some time my husband hit me while I was pregnant. Now I am just showing respect to their religion but I hate internally from my heart. Sorry this is not right but it happens to automatically from my heart.

Our marriage is an arrange marriage. I have married to Jain man who doesn’t know how to worship in his own religion, some time he eats eggs too and drinking socially … and still he is forcing me to learn his faith! What to do?

I am Brahmin. Do my religion changes after marrying with Jain man? And are my kids Jain or Brahmin?? If I want to make him Brahmin then is there any way..? -Sia


Admin says:

Dear Sia,

We are very sorry to hear of your family issue. We do not understand why there is so much intolerance for others in this world. Why only the girl has to give up? What is wrong in Hindu chanting, it does not mean it is anti-Jain chanting! The worst is the fact that your husband and his parents are absolutely intolerant to WHAT YOU ARE. Above all, your husband hitting you is absolutely not acceptable.

You are in the same situation as Akansha (now Nusrat), who was unwillingly converted to Islam, made to changed her name, made to give up her job, is asked to cover her face in public and allowed to meet her parents only once in 9 months of marriage. Just like you, to save her married life, she is faking to be a Muslim. Your’s is a very similar story except a different faith. This shows that it is not religion but the person you have to deal with.

We don’t know where to start. On one side, you wish for a happy married life and happiness for your son. And on the other side these religious issues are bothering you to hell.

Please take these steps:
1) give your husband a stern warning that if he ever hit you again you are going to call police and get him arrested.
2) Like Nusrat, keep faking (sorry that is not we recommend normally) that you are now Jain.
3) Nusrat does not feel hell in her married life because she accepted her new life as is (100% submission to injustice). See if you could learn to ignore these issues (again sorry to ask you to put up with injustice).
4) Rome was not built in a day. If you have patience and commitment, slowly you could change things over next 10 years.
5) Let your child have whatever religious label, but as a mother you could always preach what exactly you wish to. When he is at an adult age, he will realize your pain and will support you (read Madiha).
6) If possible, be financially independent. This will strengthen you to fight against injustice. Further, a job will take your mind away from daily issues at home and issues on hands will become bearable.
7) In long run, commit to not to put up this injustice. Slowly and slowly bring a change to your married life.

We do realize that it is easy for us to say all these but very difficult for you to live such hell life, but please try! Keep in touch, best wishes!

We wish other couples in interfaith relationships realized all these issues and make rational decision. -Admin


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