Arvind says: December 8, 2012 at 10:44 am
Hey guys,
This site has been helping me a lot in finding useful reviews and information.
My name is Arvind. Hindu guy in love with a Muslim girl from past 4 years. Currently both aged 21 years and financially independent. I am currently working as a Chartered Accountant and she as an engineer.
In her home they’re planning to get her married to her cousin. We both love each other truly and I promised her that I’ll do anything to make it happen. (I am) Only son to my parents. I’ve decided to take up Islam so as to make her parents accept me and also here I don’t mean Fake Conversion.
I would like to take up the religion truly from my heart. She never asked me to convert to Islam. I hope things will ease up soon in both our houses. I’m ready to undergo the circumcision process and also name my kids in Arabic.
Any suggestions are welcome. Please guide me whether I’m doing things in a correct way. Thanks in Advance. -Arvind
Admin says:
Dear Arvind,
You are an intellectual and has critical thinking power. You could yourself read all that is said by others on cases similar to yours. We are confident that, in the end, you will make a right decision (even if that decision is to be a Muslim).
We have two major concerns for your decision to convert to Islam: 1) You are 21 and 2) your motive to convert to Islam is your love, nothing more.
For the first point, can you wait to convert to Islam and to marry her till you are age 25? You will remain married till next 75 years and thus these 4 years of longer love-period will not be bad. As a matter of fact, ask any married person, best time in married life is the dating time. In next 4 years you will have major change in your thinking for what you will want to do in life. So have patience.
On your second point of converting to Islam, yes, Islam is a great religion and it has lots to offer. However, do not make a decision to change your birth religion based on your lover. If she was a Sikh, today will you convert to sikhism? …and if she was Christian you will get baptized? So you are not converting to Islam but converting to “what ever my fiancee’s religion”. You are converting because “as to make her parents accept me”, is it correct? If you never met this girl, would you still have considered becoming a Muslim anyways?
If you are out to buy a car, would you go to your car dealer Uncle and buy an expensive car from him because he is insisting on? Would you not at least test drive 2-3 other cars and check prices with other dealers? How many other religions have you explore? Have you ever read Koran, Bible, Geeta and material on Buddhism? These are all superb scriptures and lots to learn from it, how did you come to a decision that Islam is the best religions among all others?
Tell us 5 main points that you liked about Koranic teachings or about Islam (other than your girl) that you did not see it in Hinduism?
In addition, tell us….
Do you believe that the God made this world in 2+4 days and Darwin’s theory of evaluation was wrong?
Do you believe Muhammad is God’s only messenger?
Do you believe that Islam is the only true religion and Christianity, Jainism, Judaism, Hinduism and the rest are all fake religions?
Do you believe in The Judgement Day that One God Allah will decide everyone’s fate in two hours; and that Mahatma Gandhiji and your parents will get Hell Fire because they are not Muslims?
Do you believe that the God is only in (the direction of) Saudi Arabia?
Do you believe Jesus’s cross and all Hindu Gods are idols, but only the Kaaba is a Godly thing?
Some day, will you ask all your children and great grandchildren to date Hindus and convert to Islam (till no more Hindus left to convert)?
Some day, would you make your daughter marry her cousin?
Are you proud of condition of Islamic Women Today?
You asked, “whether I’m doing things in a correct way”. Answer is NO. You are doing it incorrect way. Separate your love issue from your decision to change your religion. If you like Islam, that is well and good. Now go spend at least 6 months in a madras and try to be a true Muslim. Read all Islamic scriptures and compare it to other scriptures. Meantime, even your girl decides to marry someone else, you still continue your quest for Islam.
One most important thing you could do is to guide others. In doing so, you will really learn reality of life. Can you say something to these young adults?
Would Fauziya be better of marrying her own cousin than to her Hindu bf? – A must read story. Do you think if Fauziya’s Hindu bf converted to Islam would have been a better option? Ask your gf to write to Fauzia for guidance.
Should Dr. Alok and Dr. S convert to Islam?
Should Ankur convert for one day?
Should Ashok convert?
Should DEE convert to Islam and fully merge with his wife?
Should Kajol convert to Islam to please her lover?
Why Madiha show problems with Islam? Was she wrong?
Should Nirmla truly accept Islam and be happy there?
What should Prateek do?
Why Shamim did not marry to Javed, but ran away with Rahul? Why your girl will not marry you the same way?
Did Vikas made a mistake in converting back to Hinduism?
Should there be thousand more Zakir Naik in India?
Please come back again and again and we will talk more. Best wishes. -Admin.
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Srinivas says: December 8, 2012 at 11:44 am
Want to take up Islam seriously ?
You can do that. But after that, you need to start hating all Non-Muslims including your parents. They become kafirs for you. You are not supposed to prey for them. Is this going to be your way of rewarding your parents for everything they did to you? Your parents will not be respected by her parents, is this what you want to see!
Another thing is that all Muslims need to follow the example of Mohammad ! Do you know what kind of man he was? Read about him before you take the decision.
Do you know why parents have children? Because they expect their children to continue their good work. And what you are doing is helping a fascist ideology to spread. It is no less.
My sincere advice is this: Dump her. Love is not everything. It is not worth sacrificing your love of parents of 21 years for a girl in your life of 2 or 3 years (It becomes a different matter after marriage.). -Srinivas.
Readers: Most readers make a mistake but note that Srinivas is not or was never a Hindu. Visit his web sites: http://sri000.wordpress.com/author/sri000/ and http://knowing-islamic-doctrines.blogspot.in/
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Arvind says: December 10, 2012 at 9:09 am
Hey guys,
Sorry for troubling u and thanks for all of u who’ve been constantly trying to help me.
But I guess our relationship is over.
I heard from her friend that she was kind of forcefully cum secretly married to her cousin. (guess yesterday)
Seems like there will never be peace of mind in our hearts.
I have decided to forget all this stuff and move abroad to pursue my CFA degree.
And conversion is no more an option. I guess I had no other specific reason for conversion except her.
And to be true, Hinduism is far better out in standards as the girl’s parents never seem to do all this marriage stuff forcefully. It happens with the willingness of the girl.
But as far as I have researched, it seems Hindu ladies are trapped into love with Muslim men and give in more easily even into conversion.
I forgot to mention above that her parents were totally against me when she told about us in her home a month ago. Perhaps all this marriage stuff was planned.
After all this, I feel its better I move on and focus towards my career doing my CFA and getting a job abroad so that I can find peace of mind. My parents are happy with my plan and always keep encouraging me. Hope to have their blessings forever.
Thanks once again for helping me guys. Hope to have everyone’s well wishes for my career.
Really a big THANKS.
Also read: Hindu girl, Muslim girl, Hindu boy, Muslim boy,
Be a friend on Facebook. Return to InterfaithShaadi.org. To share your experience, read.
Man!! i don’t know what to say.
I actually stumbled into this page and literally am STUNNED!
same name-same fraternity-same pressure
I saw ur post some 2 months back & bookmarked it, I’m back after a gap and you are a totally new person already.
The whole thing you said, I totally get that. I do know the pressure that was on you to pass the exams in the first sitting, handling pressure as an intern alongside spending time with your girlfriend.
I read the whole thread of yours, I’m not seeking for an advice ryt now.
I knew all this was to come the day our relationship started. I know that there’ll be a lot of conflicts waiting in the next couple of years.But when, She’s the one worth it all.. why just let go??
No one knows whats the future got in store!! 🙂
I’ll get back maybe, when the talk is ‘actually’ abt INTERFAITH-SHAADI!! its too early now
Cheerio.
Can you give little more info?
Hey,
Marriage plans are going on at home.
My mother’s planning to get me married to my neighbor’s daughter who’s a Hindu too.
I asked her whats the hurry for a marriage now. The reason she gave me is that she’s not able to manage the household chores by herself and needs someone to help her and be with her. And also that it would give me a sense of responsibility.
And Admin, I really thank you from my heart for helping me out all this time. I hope I’m making the correct decision in my life.
Thanks. 🙂
Arvind,
You are only 21 and you still have dreams about the CFA degree. Do not get married for at least next two years. For your mother who… “she’s not able to manage the household chores by herself and needs someone to help her” …hire a maid servant to help her home chores. Further, your mother has underestimated you by saying, “give me a sense of responsibility.” Soon, your mother will want a few grandchildren, so what will happen to your career dream?
Go meet the girl informally (meaning take her out for a dinner) if you wish, but do not submit to parent’s pressure into marrying her if you are not 100% sure of it. Once you marry (to whom so ever), it is your responsibility to fully maintain that marriage union and spend time for it. Do not rush into any decision. Best wishes.
Dear admin,
I guess I’m making the correct decision. Right now, I’m really not interested into marriage stuff. But I came to know that even my neighbor is a Chartered Accountant. The advantages of this marriage is
1) My neighbor’s family is financially sound.
2) My neighbor is also a Chartered Accountant. Her qualification will be of so much use to me as we both can start earning together.
3) Their family is very decent and have a good place in the society.
4) Both sides, i.e. my mom and her family have a good mutual understanding between each other. They have totally agreed upon the terms of the marriage and am sure they’ll be happy if this marriage takes place.
The only disadvantage is that although life has changed a lot, I miss Zoya a lot and lot. There has not been a single day I haven’t cried for her loss. Am not able to concentrate on my work. Each and every moment which I spent with her was so good and those were the happiest days of my life. The thing is Zoya is not at all happy with her marriage and her family told me that she’s desperate to see me and that she’s not eating properly and not talking to anyone in the home. My pain becomes even worse when someone calls me up at work and informs that she’s not happy because the “Zoya” whom I had seen before was a very joyful girl and the girl of my dreams.
In my days of love with her, she used to call me up everyday in the morning and talk to me for at least an hour. Even if I miss her for 1 day, the whole day goes worse. Now its like that. I’m not able to work properly and often get headaches. I had to work forcefully in the past 10 days in order to settle the accounts of the firm in which I’m working in.
Dear admin, although my position in the society is strong, I’m a weak person by heart. As you’ve told me to talk to my neighbor about postponing the marriage, I talked to her personally when I took her out for dinner. She told me that there’s no hurry for marriage and that marriage should only be done, when there’s a free will in heart. I promised her that I won’t spoil her life and would take the right decision when time comes.
Thanks for your support admin. Although I don’t know you personally, you have helped me a lot. Thanks a ton.
And wish all the users of this site a very happy new year.
Arvind,
You are too smart for us to tell you what you should do and what not, but let us give you some high level points to think over.
You said “although my position in the society is strong, I’m a weak person by heart”, however EVERY ONE is like that. Go read autobiography of all world great leaders and you will realize that within them, they are “a weak person” but others think they are hero. So, there is nothing wrong with you.
You have raised “financial” advantages out of that Hindu girl. On that point, learn from Gita that your job is to do your Karma and not expect fruits of it. Marry her because he is a perfect person for you, not because she is going to make you rich.
On your point, “I miss Zoya a lot and lot. There has not been a single day I haven’t cried for her loss”, you have to realize that the Bollywood movie is now over and it is time to move on with your life. Zoya, a Muslim, is already married, it is a done deal. The dream is over. Legally and morally, now you should keep off from her (someone’s wife) and try to forget her. If you are ever caught making relationship with Zoya, consequences will be severe.
Your CPA Hindu girl told you, “there’s no hurry for marriage and that marriage should only be done, when there’s a free will in heart”, how beautiful, how beautiful!!! Seems like she had lots of good qualities. Without commitment, keep meeting her, have good time with her (but never take advantage of her) and try to know her better. May be that will help divert your mind from Zoya. Best wishes.
Thanks to the admin of this page who has really done a lot of effort to gather up information about inter faith marriages and helping people.
You are such a good person. 🙂
Really a Big THANKS 😀
Arvind,
Thank God, He decided your fate. Now you have bright future waiting for you. Now spend time learning about different religions and decide for yourself which one is the best religion.
We have set up this site to stop this “fake” conversions because people (like you) when they are blind in love will do or say any thing (like I’m ready to undergo the circumcision process and also name my kids in Arabic), but as soon as the love is over, they realize that it is not what they really want. Can you be a writer and completely narrate your day to day thinking on what were you thinking when you decided to convert to Islam, even you are educated why your knowledge was limited and when the love is over, now how do you think all these?
Please plan to visit this site every week to guide other youths in love like you, please.
Dear admin,
I will help you for sure by visiting this site once in a week.
And by the way, I loved her truly.
Although it hurts for me to see her being with someone, i guess i got a beating out of it.
She never ever asked me to convert for her. It was me who wanted to convert. I went forward towards conversion to Islam.
My parents didn’t like the idea itself but however for my satisfaction, they nodded in approval.
All this 1 month I was trying to study Islam through various sites and references and also through some of my Islam friends. Some of the ideologies such as follows impressed me :-
1) Help the poor and needy.
2) There’s nothing called miracle in Islam. Work is worship.(This is the best principle)
3) No idol worship (in fact I even came to know that the Vedas itself prohibits idol worship)
4) One God principle
And so on.
But when I saw the number of conditions being imposed on a Muslim girl, such as not to be in relationship with any other religion people except their own religion, and also saw the treatment of women as sex slaves in countries such as Pakistan, I was literally shocked.
Islam as a religion has good positive approaches but also possesses negative principles.
Without women, there would be no religion called Islam. I guess these people forgot the basic common fact of life. I hope that 1 day, muslim women in pakistan and other countries would live a privileged life and not be treated as sex slaves for God’s sake.
I hope I am not making a controversial statement but whatever I read on the net seems to be true.
May God please help the women in Islam.
@ Arvind
I will be as polite as possible, if not forgive me please. (Lol I my self was given this sentence by some one.)
You are a dumb guy. Or may be that you are a girl who is suffering from the burden of feeling of not marrying her Muslim boy friend ? . Who knows ?
You said that you spent some time in studying Islam ! This tells me you are dumber than I thought of initially because you learned nothing.
1. Please can you tell me where did you read about Islam teaching ‘work is worship’ ? From your Muslim boy friend ? Yeah, like I said you must be the dumbest.
Islam says worship is no different from obeying Gods law i.e. Sharia law. It tells Muslims to reject man made laws. It tells that people following man made laws amounts to worshiping people who made those laws. This is the meaning of what Muslims say: Sovereignty belongs to Allah alone. Allah is the master. Allah is the King. Allah is the judge.
2. Help the poor and needy ? This concept of Zakat is taken from Judaism. Even then what it says is Muslims should help only poor Muslims. Do you know that Non-Muslims have no share in Zakat, you dumb f**k ? Islam has proposes two ethical sets for Muslims, one towards Muslims and other involves how they should treat Non-Muslims.
You might understand better in the words of Mohammad, founder of Islam:
Volume 1, Book 2, Number 10: (Sahih Bukhari)
The Prophet said, “A Muslim is the one who avoids harming Muslims with his tongue and hands. And a Muhajir (emigrant) is the one who gives up (abandons) all what Allah has forbidden.”
Volume 1, Book 2, Number 11: (Sahih Bukhari)
Some people asked Allah’s Apostle, “Whose Islam is the best? i.e. (Who is a very good Muslim)?” He replied, “One who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongue and hands.”
Volume 1, Book 2, Number 13: (Sahih Bukhari)
The Prophet said, “None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself.”
Where do Non-Muslims fit in here ? You want to know ?
Tabari 9:69 > Prophet Mohammad said: “Killing Unbelievers is a small matter to us”
Volume 1, Book 2, Number 25: (Sahih Bukhari)
Allah’s Apostle said: “I have been ordered (by Allah) to fight against the people until they testify that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that Muhammad is Allah’s Apostle, and offer the prayers perfectly and give the obligatory charity, so if they perform that, then they save their lives and property from me except for Islamic laws and then their reckoning (accounts) will be done by Allah.”
THIS IS TRUE ISLAM, you dumb.
3. Worshiping idols ? This website and many other numerous websites have explained what it means.
Any way, those idols or Gods are not telling their followers to wage war against all others. Those idols are not telling their followers that they can rape and enslave other women. The best part is those idols are not promising 72 virgins in paradise to those who commit such abominable acts.
4. Principle of one God ! If you can realize one true God, it is not difficult for you to realize trillion Gods. Is this a problem ? It is so trivial. All you have to do is go by conscience and logic. So, search for that true God.
What ever I mentioned here is a small drop in sea of inhumanity of Islam.
My sincere advice: If you are a guy and going to US, please go but do not show your stupidity there as they already have to put up with a guy called Obama. If you are a girl already married to a Hindu boy against your wishes, then divorce that guy and do what ever you want even if it involves converting to Islam; oh! you are scared of restrictions it imposes on women, I forgot you mentioned this.
But please leave Hindus and Hindustan as they have a huge fight on their hands.
Hey,
Thanks for your reply. Seems like as you said, I am dumb. Maybe my Islam friends are trying to convert me somehow. They were so happy when I said to them that I am converting.
One of my friends, Yousuf called me to his home for lunch with his family (a month ago). I was given warm reception. My friend was like I am getting a new brother. Everyone were very pleased after hearing that news. The above points mentioned by me was told to me by one of my other Islam friends. I thought that he’s doing his best to help me. But after u told me all this stuff, I realized how dumb I was to believe him.
I lost my dad when I was 7, lost my mind to convert into Islam, and also finally lost her (my muslim gf). It seems like in life, I totally lost in relationships.
The first thing I learnt in life after I lost my dad was the importance of money. All relatives abandoned me. Thats when I decided I would become a type of person who would earn so much. And today I earn thirty to thirty five lakhs p.a. And her (my girl friend’s) husband, I heard, earns 3 lakhs p.a. I promised her parents that I would give her all my love and would take care of her like a princess. I also promised them I would help them educate her 2 brothers. And still in the end, I lost her.
Man I had been a true lover all my life but seems its practically is of no use. After losing my dad and her (my gf), now my only parent, and my best friend is my mom.
And luckily I had not been so dumb to convert initially (i meant last month) and lose her (my gf) in the end. Maybe its written in my destiny for all this stuff to happen.
And 1 more lesson I learnt in my life was whatever happens, life has to move on. And thats why even after losing her, today I am strong enough to perform my duties.
Thanks to all of you who’ve been kind and trying to help me out. Am planning to shift out of India maybe the next year after June.
Once again thanks 🙂
Arvind (below),
You are a good man, and you are not dumb. If you were stupid, you would not have come to this site for guidance. You knew that there is something wrong and wanted to learn more, that is what smart person do. Your employer is paying you this handsome salary because you are a genius. You are only 21 and achieved so much in life, not most others could even dream of it at your age.
Yes, you loved her truly and is hard to accept that you lost her. Time is the therapy for it, after a few months, you will get used to that and will be ready to roll your life again.
You were in love with the girl, and not with Islam. Your intention of considering Islam was only the girl, if not, you will still be per perusing Islam today. Now go tell your Muslim friends that you changed your mind and see how they treat you.
This is the MAJOR problem with Muslims and Christians that they are out converting (proselytizing) others. They think theirs is only true religion and others will get Hell Fire or will not be salvaged. Please spend rest of your life speaking out against this evil.
Allah has saved you from all bad people. Today you are a free man and tomorrow you will be very successful man that every one will be proud of you. Give love to your mother. Keep in touch with us here as you progress in your life. Best wishes.
Hello admin,
Thanks for your kind soothing and encouraging words.
The fact is I didn’t want to disclose anything about my dad’s death here as it would become obvious if any of my friends entered this site to read my story.
But I just wanted to open up my feelings over here and couldn’t help shedding crocodile tears when I was writing about my dad. I loved him so much but I guess he would be watching me from the skies of heaven proudly and be happy about my achievements. It was always his dream to watch me become a CA and I am happy I fulfilled it.
My boss is also a good man. He heard about my story and felt sorry. He told me he would help me go abroad but even kept a condition of me finishing my IFRS. He told it would help me boost my income and also help me get foreign chances. So I guess I would finish my IFRS and then move out of India so that I can pursue my career and also finish my CFA.
My mom has always been supporting me. I remember her going to work early in the morning to her shop for her work was always full of burden (tailoring) and coming back late at nights. Although her life was full of burden she used to always keep smiling. Its all because of her I’m riding heights of success in my life. Thanks to you mom. Will always love you.
And she (mom) called me up yesterday. I felt like shouting but after hearing her voice, I couldn’t even speak. She was like I’m really sorry. I just wished her and her husband a happy married life. He called me for lunch to his home. Seems like a very friendly guy. I guess its all a fault of ever leaving my birth religion and converting to other religion. And now I realize that in this world, I don’t need anyone more than my mom.
I feel like a new man whose responsibility is to protect my mom. I am taking her to temples these days, sitting and talking with her. I never knew it felt so good talking to my mom in the peaceful surroundings of the temple.
I just guess things have changed for the better. I wouldn’t be like other lovers going in the wrong way after breaking up.
I am planning to donate money and helping the poor and needy and also the orphanage by visiting such camps whenever I find time. Nothing beats it when you help such people.
Once again admin, thanks a lot to you.
I felt like there was no one in this world to listen to my heart but now I know there’re so many people out there like you to help me whenever I’m in need of advice.
Thanks.
Arvind,
We are very happy to hear your story. Yes, your mom deserve all love and respect. Yes, you also deserve all respect for being such a decent human being. Your’s is certainly a story for a Bollywood movie.
This World is full of loving and honest people. Only problem is there are a small fraction of crooks and thiefs also in this World who spoils all the broth. For that reason, one need to be watchful for them. We are glad you barely survived from these Christian and Muslim love-proselytizers. Now come and help other ArvindS on this site to “enlighten” them by truth.
We will be in touch for ever!
Hey admin,
Haha maybe it could be a Bollywood movie like Ishaqzzade.
And above in the 20th line, “she” refers to Zoya.
And yeah, we will be in touch forever. 🙂
And for sure I’ll help the other guys like me who’re trapped into this.
Thanks a lot for your help. 🙂
Arvind,
Considering now she is already married, try to forget your past. Actually, this experience will teach you a lot in life. It is good to have all kind of experiences, good and bad, as far as those experiences are not irreversible damages (like one way fake-convert to Islam).
Please plan to help other youths on this site. Best way to learn is to teach.
Now to your four points, actually ALL religions are teaching the same [ 1) Help the poor and needy, 2) There’s nothing called miracle (do your karma), 3) No idol worship (Muslims have their idols like Muhammad and Kaaba), 4) One God (same in Hinduism except you could see the God as you desire, freedom of expression)]. So, believe in all faith, but don’t convert for the benefit of priests and Imams.
Admin,
Now to your four points, actually ALL religions are teaching the same [ 1) Help the poor and needy, 2) There’s nothing called miracle (do your karma), 3) No idol worship (Muslims have their idols like Muhammad and Kaaba), 4) One God (same in Hinduism except you could see the God as you desire, freedom of expression)]. So, believe in all faith, but don’t convert for the benefit of priests and Imams.
How can we believe in all the contradicting faiths at the same time? You know it very well that Islam and Hinduism are poles apart, as you have indicated it on many occasions. Moreover, you have clubbed the Imams and priests (assuming Hindu priests) together. Are you up to spread the secularism? This equating the various faiths without considering their merits will destroy our rationality (only tool to lead us on the right path) and will continue the downfall of Humanity.
All religions are different and we must pick up carefully, only the right universal messages from them. Any restrictive or exclusive ideas will have to be rejected. Another thing is to discard idolising any human being as custodian of the God will have to be discarded. We all are loving to the God and this love depend only on our Karm(distorted to Karma). However, we must treat all the followers of all the faiths with respect and love and may welcome healthy discussion. This doesn’t mean we should be negligent so that they may harm us, thinking it as their duty to do so.
Hi Satyen,
Here, “don’t convert for the benefit of priests and Imams”, we meant “don’t convert for the benefit of CHRISTIAN priests and Imams”. Hindu priests are not proselytizers.
Agree that all religions are different. The three Abrahamics faiths (Christianity, Judaism and Islam) are monotheist, exclusivist and supremacist. Their Second commandment by their Jealous god teaches them (if you pray to other god, I will punish you to three to four generations) to be intolerant to other (or each other’s) faiths. We believe this intolerant teaching is the result of Christian crusades and killing, millions killed by Muslims, Goan inquisition, holocaust and recently 9-11. The same verse is also creating major issues in lives of today’s interfaith dating couples. That is why the Christian priests and Imams are looking for converting spouses from other faiths to their faith for their personal gain. This conversion business (BBS) must stop.
Every one has a right to believe in whatever religion (or no religion). If someone wishes to be a text-book Muslim, so be it. On this web site, we had a true Muslim Amir and we always respected his feelings. There is no problem in believing what ever as far as you are not hurting others. However, if you are in an interfaith relationship, the exclusivist ideology will create major issues later in their married life.
So we meant to say above that if your spouse is telling you that his or her religion is great, then go and enjoy it, participate in its holidays, visit their shrines and what not, but do not convert (NO BBS).
Admin,
Thanks for clarifyig the statement “All religions teach the same”. You basically meant that though they are different, we should embrace the differences to promote symbiotic relationship among the followers by discarding the acrimony for each other. I absolutely agree with you and there is no harm in acculturation if it doesn’t have any societal/physical/mental ill effect on the followers.
And to Veena Malik,
I am not the kind of person who wishes to have the privelege of having 4 wives. I never knew that there’s a law in Islam where a person can have 4 wives unless you told me. (OMG)
I have been brought up in a very good family and with love and care.
I respect women and their feelings.
Anywayz thanks for your response 🙂
Hey guys,
Sorry for troubling u and thanks for all of u who’ve been constantly trying to help me.
But I guess our relationship is over.
I heard from her friend that she was kind of forcefully cum secretly married to her cousin. (guess yesterday)
Seems like there will never be peace of mind in our hearts.
I have decided to forget all this stuff and move abroad to pursue my CFA degree.
And conversion is no more an option. I guess I had no other specific reason for conversion except her.
And to be true, Hinduism is far better out in standards as the girl’s parents never seem to do all this marriage stuff forcefully. It happens with the willingness of the girl.
But as far as I have researched, it seems Hindu ladies are trapped into love with Muslim men and give in more easily even into conversion.
I forgot to mention above that her parents were totally against me when she told about us in her home a month ago.
Perhaps all this marriage stuff was planned.
After all this, I feel its better I move on and focus towards my career doing my CFA and getting a job abroad so that I can find peace of mind. My parents are happy with my plan and always keep encouraging me. Hope to have their blessings forever.
Thanks once again for helping me guys. Hope to have everyone’s well wishes for my career.
Really a big THANKS. 🙂
Oh this is great.
1- You love that girl, and the girl loves you – great till here.
2- you want to marry her, she wants to marry you- still good.
3- you have no conditions for marriage – good news
4- she has conditions for marriage – bad news mate, looking at the condition she has put forward – you must become a muslim, is the most dirty and wrong you would ever do in this life, not to mention your parents would be devastated, guessing that you don’t love them the same way.
5- If You ignore the above conditions from girl, lets say her parents would not accept you until you are muslim- you have made a wrong decision to convert. Because – its HER parents thinking that is wrong and age old, you are solving a wrong problem. You must make then understand what tolerance is ( like your parent are ok with this) and secularism. Are they hating hindus so much, do they not buy goods from Hindu owned shop, do they not have hindu friends, do they dont get sweets from hindu neighbors in diwali holi? Do they not do yoga or meditation – a hindu practice, do they not live in india- the birthplace of hindu gods?..so point is- its her parents who are wrong, not you ! You dont have to change, you do compromises now you do a lot compromises later, i can give you in written, you will regret this decision. And BTW did you see what muslims do regardless of where they are? And you are saying you want to be one of them, dude dont judge the book by its cover( dont just hear Quran from you girlfriend( she may not tell you, what Quran states for non muslims, how ill the rules are, plus, you are in the most lower caste of islam( doono if you would be a shaikh, khan or lower caste or shia ahmedi or other cast once convert, dude in any case you will be not true muslim you would be “mawali” type, google it, its non arab muslims, so you will not be receiving any guidance from god as mawali muslims are just for doing propagation type work, these are mawali Muslims who do terror activities, killing, raping, jihad and all that. Arabs are true muslims, there country is peaceful, ever heard of any riot or raping in saudi etc? Never coz those Muslims are superior then any other muslim, indian paki Muslims are just to follow order from there arab masters. Ok enough info now you bw the judge, it does not matters me or any other hindu.
6- If she is ready to live with your parents in hindu way, or normal way, go ahead and marry her.
7- Ask her if she or her parents are under fear of backlash from muslim community, if they married you a hindu and there daughter- if this is the case then, reply to this i will send my email, i can do what you need.
8- personally muslim girls are very dirty and ugly, i wonder that you must have seen her in niqab with attar, one of my x girlfriend was muslim and she was very cute, we wanted to marry, but her mom was looking for a muslim only- reason- as per quran its not allowed. I laughed coz as per quran movies songs are not allowed but still it was ok, her mother and herself were beaten by her drunk father – drinking and beating is not allowed, just to clarify he used to beat her mom irrespective weather he was drunk or not. They hated there muslim area and shifted to a good hindu area, why? Quran says to live in community, so they just follow what rule they want to follow, as simple as that. Oh yes before i forget, if you convert to Islam then you can’t change to any other religon, because muslims will kill that person, because its not allowed in islam to leave..she is now un happily married to a plumber, yes plumber like a dirty low class guy, but as per quran it does not matter as long as plumber is a Muslim…. These guys are weird no sane person can understand when they will be happy. I dont care anymore…
Good luck!
My respects to the Good Human Being for your good advice and helping Arvind. You are doing a commendable job. But I feel, even Muslim girls can be very beautiful as happened in your girl friend’s case.
Really really thanks for your help 🙂
@ Arvind,
Please do not convert to Islam. Don’t do this to your parents who expect nothing from you but your true happiness and well being.
Like Satyen and admin pointed out, your age will not let you to think for making a right decision. Emotions could play a large part in your decision. The best thing in all this is to find some one to talk to. You can ask admin for Satyen’s mail id and I am sure he/she will not mind answering your queries. Satyen already gave you some practical advises.
My mail id is this: k.i.d000b@gmail.com (If you want that book mentioned by Satyen, write to me.)
As a fellow human, I implore you to purely go by your conscience after giving due considerations to what admin and Satyen have written.
At the same time, ask yourselves how best you can trust admin and Satyen in telling you the truth about Islam, but not regarding the marriage and relations. If Admin is duty bound to political correctness, as he wrote ‘Islam is a great religion and offers many good things’ – I, personally, am yet to find a single good thing in this cult, Satyen is little feminist – of course he/she told you to learn about Islam by yourselves.
You are lucky to be born in Hindu religion, the most informal and liberal religion and, universal in outlook. You are even fortunate in the sense that Hindu girls are the most beautiful, the most loving and very intelligent – you just have to look at the fact that Hindu girls are toppers in most British colleges. I am sure that you will find many excellent Hindu girls to your liking and the one who likes and loves you.
P.S. Please note that your conversion to Islam, even by going under circumcision, is not going to make things easy for you in marrying that girl. So, how many more rituals you will adopt to gain the trust of your in-laws – who are already fascist minded? Do you recognize that your own life is at risk now because you want to marry a Muslim girl?
You might ask how did I make a judgement about your in-laws? If in this age of science, which unraveled deadly and undesirable consequences of such marriages to cousins, when her parents want to force her in to that marriage with cousin – then that is what they are. Rationality, humanity and logical deductions are not going to be the basis of their views but it is Koran and Mohammad which form the bedrock of their views and deeds.
Another possibility is that you will be in constant struggle to prove to your in-laws that you are a good Muslim, which means a bad human being – a process which will take its natural toll.
The most important thing is that once you convert to Islam then there is no coming back. Islam advocates killing those Muslims who leave Islam.
I am sure that you will make an honest attempt at finding the truth about Islam. ALL THE BEST
Really thanks for helping me 🙂
Dear Arvind,
Your situation requires a prompt and right solution, this is what you feel. You have only doubt if you are going in the right direction for the solution. I can help you in ascertaining if you are doing the right thing.
Your problem is to save your girl friend from being married to her cousin. You have devised a solution to become a good Muslim and offer yourself as a better alternative compared to her cousin in the eyes of her parents. As you are an honest person, you would like to follow the teachings to the extent you remain a good Muslim, not a fake one. Thus, it will give immediate relief to your girl friend and she will marry you immediately or in course of time.
Let’s analyse the above solution to check its suitability. First, have you thought over simpler solutions for immediate relief to your girl friend i.e. rescuing her from her cousin? If not, why not? Think of as many alternatives as possible, irrespective of how stupid those may be. Don’t be scared of brainstorming. Give thoughts and find one. For example, your girl friend may proclaim that she is so young and still not so well settled in her career. Therefore, she requires at least 3 years of more time. Moreover, she can also make it clear to her parents that she won’t marry her cousin in any case. This is not against Islam at all and she can take help of other family members or her close relatives for her support. Nowadays, many Muslim girls are coming open for not marrying their cousins even in Pakistan or Bangladesh. I don’t think it’s so a big deal as she is educated and financially independent too. Many girls on this site have done it before. Probably Admin can help you in finding their comments. Similarly, you can also come up with better solutions than I put forward. Take help of your girl friend and two heads can work synergically to arrive at excellent solution, far better than the one you have in your mind.
You may be wondering, what’s the problem with convertion to Islam. The problem is time. I don’t know if you realize it or not, it’s a very important decision which will decide not only the course of your life but also that of your spouse, progeny and parents because it’s going to change the way you percieve the people/phenomena around you. As a true Muslim all your previous notions of value system such as good and evil will change. To have a feel of being a Muslim, I suggest you the immersion experience i.e. you must live among the Muslims in a Muslim way without converting to Islam. This is required as just superficial observation can lead you to false information/knowledge.
You can start with the Muhammad’s biography as he will be your role model. The definition of right and wrong will be decided by comparing your behavour with that of Muhammad irrespective of what you are used to thinking of previously. Next you should read the Sahih hadith and Quran. So, going through these reading materials will take a reasonably long time, close to a year or so. It’s also important, because after you have become a Muslim, you are not supposed to quit Islam. I mean, there is so an easy entrance to Islam but no easy exit at all.
So, keep this option of converting to Islam as your long term option as it involves a reasonable length of time for a judicious decision. For short term, think of other simpler solutions which is not difficult to find in your case.
For deciding conversion, go to the sites that are in Islam’s favour and also to those that criticize it, to have both aspects for a better appreciation. Following three websites could help you:
http://www.irf.net
http://www.faithfreedom.org
http://www.agniveer.com
You can also read the book written by M.A. Khan wo has left Islam at his later part of life.
Wow!! Superb analyses of the situation and great advise.
Arvind, Satyen and Srinivas have spend lots of time for your cause, now please come back to give feedback on how your love progresses.
Arvind, you are a role model for today’s youths. People will like to follow you, like you are today’s new leader. So, you have a big responsibility to do right things. Make rational decisions that this World will be proud of you.
@ Satyen sweet hot,
irf link ? You trust too much in people’s ability to see through all those lies ! Not every one may be like you na !
hey is the book written my MA Khan worth reading?
Arvind,
First I admire your ‘Matribhakti'(devotion to Mom). The youngsters should learn from you.
I strongly recommend the book written by M.A. Khan as it narrates his evolution from just a Muslim to a critical thinker. As you know, critical thinking is capped in Islam, it’s not a mean achievement for a Muslim to shed off Muhammad. Most importantly, it will highlight those aspects of Islam which are hitherto kept secret from the non Muslims in order to allure them. So, read the book for yourself first and to help the humanity to get rid of Islam to make this world a better world to live in.
BTY, did you visit the website http://www.agniveer.com ?