Zara Begum (sirisha) says: October 21, 2016
Hi Monika,
Not sure how life would be without conversion, you will have many conflicts between both faiths, it will be difficult to raise your kids with confusion. I am a hindu by birth, happily married to a muslim. Got converted, got new name zara, my kid is named muslim name imaad. Both families are happy without confusion. I am happy because i beleive what my husband beleives in and his faith. If you dont convert you are inviting confusions and problems. If you are not willing to convert, it is better to break the relationship. Love relation is only between you both but marriage is differnt, its involves families.
Regards, –Zara.
Zara Begum (sirisha) says: October 22, 2016
We cannot treat our lives to be same like celebrities. I would definetly say a muslim girl also to convert if she has to marry a hindu boy, anyone should compromise or sacrifice for future. If converting is a tough decision then she should breakup relstionship and stick to religion. I beleive relations are more important than religion. There is nothing wrong in beleiving what my husband beleives. It makes life more easy and reduce complications.
I donot have disrespect for my religion, i do attend ocasions at my moms place, i just dont pray to idols now. Earlier and now i always beleived there is only 1 god, only the way u workship is different. I have knowledge of both religions faith, i had better learning and hence better living. I know my friend who was hindu boy converted to christian, for his girl and they are happy. Common people lives cannot be compared to celebrities. Does a common mans son enjoy all what shahrukkhan’s son is? There is no point in comparing. Do you think celebrities dont have problems at all? –Zara
Zara Begum (sirisha) says: October 23, 2016
Anyone in my statement ment either boy or girl, either hindu or muslim or christian, should compromise and convert. Two religions under same roof is difficult to practise if they are staying with family. If its only the husband and wife staying, then it is possible without conversion, but surely depends on their mindset and commitment.
But they should discuss prior and have clearity on below :
What religion kids will follow?
What kids will be named?
In my case am in a joint family i did not want to go separate as my family is very supportive, never forced me on anything.
I would surely support (conversion of) the (Muslim) girl in dat case (if dating a Hindu).
Hindu boy converting to christian i gave example of boy converting, not only girl for love marriage. I hope there must be muslim or christian who converted to hindu, there should be some record.
We should not take anyone as role model in this sensitive important life decision, it purely depends on person you are going to marry. How well the boy treats you, will he stand and fight for you, will he support you, will he make sure you are happy.
Not all cases will be similar, am happy it need not be the same for others. I suggested one of my friend to breakup because he was forcing her to convert. It means he will not treat her nice, she would have struggled surely with him.
Conversion should be done only if you whole heartedly accept other religion faith not by force. -Zara
Zara Begum (sirisha) says: October 25, 2016
Hmm……! Ours was love at first sight. I never knew that he was a muslim. We were 7 yrs in relationship before marriage and we are 4 yrs married now. I was shocked knowing he was a muslim the day he proposed me, i took 6 months time to accept even though i was deeply in love with him from past 1 year, checked myself if i was surely in love with him, n if he was serious about it. Being in his relation, i started liking islamic principles. Soon i decided i will convert.
We had 3 marriages, first registration marriage, am a telugu bhramin we had marriage in temple (this was as per my parents request), i converted to islam and then we had nikhaa.
Many arguements happened with their relatives before marriage, they were forcing me not to work, but my dad, my husband were supporting me, only on one condition nikha happened that i should have financial security and that i should continue working.
My dad did many inquiries about him and his family before, they live next lane and his father worked in the same office. My dad arranged 2 counsellings with his muslim friends in how life could be. After going through all tough time they accepted.
I completed reading quran in arbi and learned urdu reading and writing. I have 1 year old baby.
Every religion has its own customs, i respect both religious beleifs. When am at my moms place also, my parents dont force me on anything, as i converted willingly and they are clear on dat point.
Am eager to see how you will help neha (brahmin married to muslim without conversion). If its only hindus converting to other religions not the other way, then it is point to be raised. But i do see comments saying i am muslim now i am hindu. -Zara
Zara Begum (sirisha) says: October 25, 2016
WHEN HE PROPOSED ME, HE TOLD HIS NAME, HE TOLD HE IS MUSLIM and disclosed EVERYTHING ABOUT. That was our first meeting. I was in love with him without knowing his name, religion!
Before he proposed, almost for 1 year i was deeply in love with him, i dint know his name, not his religion, we never spoke, love at first sight, i never knew he was muslim as we dint meet or talk. 2006 he proposed, on our first meeting only.
WE JUST KNEW EACHOTHER BY COMMON FRIENDS. We never spoke till he proposed. I took 6 months time and accepted in 2006, and married in 2012, with all counselling and mutual agreements wih their relatives. -Zara
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I don’t agree with this girl if you love someone then why in time of marriage her religion become a fault?
Love a Hindu so marry a Hindu
Love a Muslim so marry a Muslim
I see a case in my area Hindu girl and Muslim boy they married without conversion they and their children respect both religions, celebrate all festivals.
We Hindu have many God’s we never confuse so why in interfaith marriage children will confuse?
I went their home on mahanavmi as kanchak during kanya pujan her husband help her in serving food performing pooja
I feel very good to see them
They both do private job they belong to middle class family their parents are now happy to see that their children are happy.
story sounds fake n girl is this dumb to fall in love without even knowing a name? anyways u are dumb. that guy is lucky such girls guys love who never question and hvae no high opinion of themselves.
Very interesting post.It will be guiding girls in similar situation.That’s true,if one accepts the other religion that must be sincere..with your whole heart! Congrats Zara Begum! Best wishes for the New Year to everyone! Admin. takes good efforts to support nd strengthen the confused minds!
Hello
This story of Zara Begum has definitely been an interesting read. I really hope more and more people have the strength to openly talk about this. I have seen quite a few Brahmin women marrying muslim men within my family and friends. I just want to tell people what I have observed and noticed in these relationships.
The closest person who has married a Muslim man that I know of is my own mother. After her divorce she remarried a muslim man who she used to work with earlier. The other people that I know are a couple of my cousins and a couple of friends from college.
In the case of my mom and cousins who were all Brahmins and they had to convert to Islam before the actual wedding ceremony or Nikaah. I think one of my friend also has a small hindu marriage ceremony as well. Now there is some things that I believe in interfaith marriages is that one person has to compromise for the relationship to be successful. From what I have seen in my personal life (Please tell me other incidents if anyone has seen otherwise) is that it is normally the Hindu girl who has to compromise. The reason for this as I believe it is because Hinduism by nature is a very submissive religion and Islam on the other hand is an extremely dominant religion. Almost no muslim man will marry a hindu girl if she does not convert (I am talking about regular people here and not movie stars like Kareena). The compromise from what i have seen does not end only in accepting Islam, it normally extends to taking a new name, accept new dressing and eating habits. Only one of my friend kept her old name.
However I am happy to say that with all the compromises made everyone is leading a happy family life. My mom specially is a very happy Muslimah and a proud mother of my 2 step brothers.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11786
im 25 yrs old and this is what happened to my mother and our family..i have a muslim who studied with me in college and on his request i agreed to provide our upper floor room set to his 2 friends from his native village in uttar pradesh because they wanted an accomodation to study in our same college as juniors which is in delhi !! So those 2 shifted in our home on the upper floor which we didnt use…and those 2 were also muslims but neither my family nor me had any problem with that..so they started to stay with us !! Everything seemed fine but one month later my mother went missing and so was one of the guys…our whole family me and my younger brother got panicked and after 2 days we filed the FIR !! 5 months passed but we didnt get to know anything…my family was in grief and stress but we didnt come to know anything for 5 months…but after some time police called my father and told me they have found my mother..we were so happy and elated and hugged each other and started crying with joy !! But when we went to the station , my mother was sitting there with Hisham and she didnt even look at me…police told us that my mother has been living with hisham for the past 5 months in up and is also pregnant with his baby and has filed for divorce !! We couldn’t belive it what just happened…it was too much to digest..our family was broken down ..we couldn’t belive our eyes she was with him !! She refused to speak with me and my brother and police had to order my mother to continue living with hisham since she filed for divorce…my dad got divorced in 3 months time and we came to know she married hisham after a few weeks…and what we can gather , she got converted to islam too…now that was such an insult to the injury i cant begin to describe…our life is hell after that and continues being hell..cant forget it till my death..it was very unfair from God
If our love is true then I think there should be no point of conversion and will be equally part of every situation good or bad , in festive season etc
Hi Zara,
There is another Brahmin girl just like in your situation, would you guide her?
Visit https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11644
Hi Zara,
On your earlier point, “i always beleived there is only 1 god, only the way u workship is different,” we agree 100%. All religions (including Hinduism Rig Veda 1.164.46) teach the same. However there are two types of people: exclusivists and pluralists.
Pluralists: We routinely go to iftar dinner, sukkot (Jewish) dinner and Christmas gatherings, have eaten Jesus body (bread) and prayed where ever. Our friends, Muslim women in hijab, have been to synagogues and mandir with us. There are many Muslims true pluralists. We have seen many Jain-Hindu couples following two faiths in one house. We believe such respect for each other bring peace and harmony in the society. Again, these are our views.
Exclusivist: They believe there is one God and that is mine! For us, it is beyond our belief exclusivity of mac and Zakir Naik. Still they have rights to express themselves.
We are wondering what are you going to teach to your children about “one God”? Can that be prayed only in the direction of Kaaba? Are your parents pray to idols while you pray to (kaaba) real God? More specifically, are you going to take your kid to your parents to celebrate Diwali? You have to set direction for kids now. It’s your choice and your life, we are just wondering!
Dear admin, Please read carefully understand and ask if you are not clear on any point. Donot make controversy statements without reading properly. This is my request. Regards, Zara
Agree. Please correct us if we misunderstood anything and we will correct it.
Good topic. Nice to read this blow.Please list which are the best online matrimony in Kerala
Sorry, we do not advertise on this web site, however let us know how we can help interfaith couples dating? Get back to us and we will work out something to promote your site if there is something of mutual interest.
We cannot treat our lives to be same like celebrities. I would definetly say a muslim girl also to convert if she has to marry a hindu boy, anyone should compromise or sacrifice for future. If converting is a tough decision then she should breakup relstionship and stick to religion. I beleive relations are more important than religion. There is nothing wrong in beleiving what my husband beleives. It makes life more easy and reduce complications. I donot have disrespect for my religion, i do attend ocasions at my moms place, i just dont pray to idols now. Earlier and now i always beleived there is only 1 god, only the way u workship is different. I have knowledge of both religions faith, i had better learning and hence better living. I know my friend who was hindu boy converted to christian, for his girl and they are happy. Common people lives cannot be compared to celebrities. Does a common mans son enjoy all what shahrukkhans son is? There is no point in comparing. Do you think celebrities dont have problems at all?
Zara,
We agree 100% that celebrities and common men have different options. If we say something does not mean we are attacking you or disrespecting for what you did, but we are giving a message to the society.
Do you believe the old way of handing religions was wrong and people should be progressive thinker and adapt to time?
Would you express your views (a muslim girl also to convert if she has to marry a hindu boy) to any young girl in your Muslim family? Would you support such girl or you will not open your mouth to be submissive to your husband and family (with the fear of creating trouble in happy married life)? Why only women have to convert or give up to adapt to husband? Do you believe women should be submissive and that is a right way and should continue for 1000 more years.
On “anyone should compromise or sacrifice for future.” why it is only the wife who has to be submissive? Is it not still a time for women to raise their head for equality?
Why “my friend who was hindu boy converted to christian”? Why the Christian girl did not convert to Hinduism? Do you know that Christian and Muslim always make other convert, and Hindus (as we have seen on this web site) are generally submissive? Is it because Hindu faith is wrong or weak?
This is just hypothetical, if he was a Christian you could convert to Christianity and if Sikh then to Sikhism?
Zara, we hope you don’t take this personally but you are we are talking to young generation of women here. They will get inspiration from what we say. They consider you as a role model, what would you say?
Anyone in my statement ment either boy or girl, either hindu or muslim or christian, should compromise and convert. Two religions under same roof is difficult to practise if they are staying with family. If its only the husband and wife staying, then it is possible without conversion, but surely depends on their mindset and commitment.
But they should discuss prior and have clearity on below :
What religion kids will follow
What kids will be named
In my case am in a joint family i did not want to go separate as my family is very supportive, never forced me on anything.
I would surely support the girl in dat case.
Hindu boy converting to christian i gave example of boy converting, not only girl for love marriage. I hope there must be muslim or christian who converted to hindu, there should be some record.
We should not take anyone as role model in this sensitive important life decision, it purely depends on person you are going to marry. How well the boy treats you, will he stand and fight for you, will he support you, will he make sure you are happy.
Not all cases will be similar, am happy it need not be the same for others. I suggested one of my friend to breakup because he was forcing her to convert. It means he will not treat her nice, she would have struggled surely with him.
Conversion should be done only if you whole heartedly accept other religion faith not by force.
We agree to your view points and you have to do that is in your self interest. Apparently you did not had any pride on your birth faith so here you did not had any problem converting. However on this web site, MOST Christians and Muslims expect the Hindu to convert, and generally it is not the other way around. Understand that there are always exceptions. Unfortunately most youths in colleges do not know what is coming while dating and the request for conversion (or suggestion or request for XYZ reason) comes close to marriage discussion. That is wrong and we have created this web site (non-profit, non-religious, not affiliated with any one) to educate youths.
In your case, how many years you dated before marriage? Did you ever wish a Hindu wedding? Did you had a Hindu wedding? After how man years of dating, when did you learned that you will have to (willingly) convert and change your name?
Since you are already in, can you go ask different Muslims on “I would surely support the (Muslim) girl (to convert to Hinduism) in dat case.” It is good to find out now. One day, you may have a daughter and you do not want any surprise then. Let us know what you learned from your husband, in-laws, relatives and imams.
As a Muslim, do you believe Koran (including these) is 100% truth and words of God?
Do you believe in the Judgment Day?
When you are at your parents, do you participate in Hindu rituals? Do you believe Hindus are idol worshippers (read)?
Many other girls will read this post and learn from your life experiences. In this respect, you are doing Godly work helping others in need. We hope you will continue sharing your views.
Hmm……! Ours was love at first sight. I never knew that he was a muslim. We were 7 yrs in relationship before marriage and we are 4 yrs married now. I was shocked knowing he was a muslim the day he proposed me, i took 6 months time to accept even though i was deeply in love with him from past 1 year, checked myself if i was surely in love with him, n if he was serious about it. Being in his relation, i started liking islamic principles. Soon i decided i will convert.
We had 3 marriages, first registration marriage, am a telugu bhramin we had marriage in temple (this was as per my parents request), i converted to islam and then we had nikhaa.
Many arguements happened with their relatives before marriage, they were forcing me not to work, but my dad, my husband were supporting me, only on one condition nikha happened that i should have financial security and that i should continue working.
My dad did many inquiries about him and his family before, they live next lane and his father worked in the same office. My dad arranged 2 counsellings with his muslim friends in how life could be. After going through all tough time they accepted.
I completed reading quran in arbi and learned urdu reading and writing. I have 1 year old baby.
Every religion has its own customs, i respect both religious beleifs. When am at my moms place also, my parents dont force me on anything, as i converted willingly and they are clear on dat point.
Am eager to see how you will help neha (brahmin married to muslim without conversion). If its only hindus converting to other religions not the other way, then it is point to be raised. But i do see comments saying i am muslim now i am hindu.
Zara,
OMG! For 3 years dating he never disclose that he is a Muslim, even he knew you are a Brahmin?????
Thank you for sharing details. We love to interact with you. For you, it may be a novel experience, but for us, we have seen hundreds of stories similar to you. It is typical for a Muslim boy not to disclose truth (being Muslim) for first few years till the love is deeply rooted. After that, only options left are convert (Nikaah) or stop this relationship.
You have smart parents. It is vital for you to continue working and be financially independent.
If you came to us in 2009, we would have told that there is no way but to convert. Now what is coming in next 10-15 years for you? Would it make you proud of your child when he/she learn this (read)? If not, lets talk what you can do now.
Hi Zara,
We are happy to hear that you are happily married. This is well and good. However, we do not like this religious intolerance in the society.
Why one faith is superior compared to the other?
Why one way of praying God is truth while the other way is wrong?
Why you have low self-esteem for your birth faith?
Kareena Kapoor is also happily married, why can’t you teach the same to other girls? Are you saying Kareena (or Saif) should have converted to Islam (or to Hinduism)?
If you sister-in-law (husband’s sister or cousin sister) is in love with a Hindu, are you going to say the same “If you dont convert (to Hinduism) you are inviting confusions and problems”?
Can you explain what does this mean, “it will be difficult to raise your kids with confusion”? Are Shah Rukh Khan‘s kids confused?
YOU UNDERSTOOD IT WRONG
2006 JULY 12TH HE PROPOSED ME, HE TOLD HIS NAME, HE TOLD HE IS MUSLIM and disclosed EVERYTHING ABOUT. That was our first meeting.
Before he proposed, almost for 1 year i was deeply in love with him, i dint know his name, not his religion, we never spoke, love at first sight, i never knew he was muslim as we dint meet or talk. 2006 he proposed, on our first meeting only.
WE JUST KNEW EACHOTHER BY COMMON FRIENDS. We never spoke till he proposed.
I took 6 months time and accepted 2006,
Married 2012, with all counselling and mutual agreements wih their relstives.
I never said he dint disclose his religion, i was in love with him without knowing his name, religion! Its not nyones fault.
Sorry, our mistake! We made 7-4=3 and missed out this statement “before marriage” before 7 yrs. Yours is certainly a Bollywood story! We are glad you took sufficient time to make decision and did all counseling, that is a right way.
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