Swati says: April 28, 2016 at 1:27 pm
I am in a relationship with a Christian guy for 2 years.. My dad is aware of this n he has accepted it.. Even my family is quite broad minded so they will also accept.. The concern is that his family is dead against our relationship.. They r not accepting it at all. The reason is I m not a Christian. I even asked him to tell his parents that I will get baptized which he said to them but they are still being stubborn. They tortured him a lot. Please help us in this. Thank you. -Swati
Swati says: June 11, 2016 at 9:20 am
Now his parents are threatening him of committing suicide if he marries me… they even went away from their home keeping back a letter that they will not keep any relation with him… but then we found out that they were here at their friend’s house… we are in a fix.. how do we convince them?? How do we make them understand..?? Please suggest something -Swati
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Now his parents are threatening him of committing suicide if he marries me… they even went away from their home keeping back a letter that they will not keep any relation with him… but then we found out that they were here at their friend’s house… we are in a fix.. how do we convince them?? How do we make them understand..?? Please suggest something…
Have you EVER heard that parents committed suicide for their son? As we told you before, they are only talking and will never commit suicide. They are only blackmailing you. Dump them!
After marriage, do you have to live with his parents? Will your parents help out financially if necessary? If you can afford to live on your own in a different town/city after marriage, ignore his parents and get married by the Special Marriage Act 1954. Parents WILL ultimately get around. Tell your lover that without being baptized, you will give them so much love in the future that in 2 years they will turn around. It will be a win-win for all.
Hope so it helps out… he is totally screwed up with their behaviour… even told me that I feel like committing suicide… don’t know what to do…
Life is full of trouble and miseries. This is true to every living beings, including the riches of rich (e.g., Michael Jackson) and of course for the poor. Narendra Modi has his problems and Syrian refugees have their own. In spite of all issues in life, if one learns to deal with one issue at a time (and with strong mental status), he/she could be the happiest person in this world. If yo are not sure what we are talking, read teachings of Lord Buddha.
Swati (and your bf), God has given you a lot, just learn to recognize it. Instead of talking suicide, think how blessed you are compared to many street beggars. Give up all negative thoughts and save all your mental energy to find solution to your issue. Remember, it may take 2 years to find solution to your issues. After that, what is stopping you getting married by the Special marriage act and live in a separate city? Is it possible for you?
Thank you for your encouraging words… we will try our best to cope up with the situation and take a decision…
Like Muhammad Ali taught us–to be proud of what you are and do not put up with discrimination from others–we hope you will not elect to fake-baptism just to please his intolerant Christian parents. Be proud of what you are. Keep us posted.
Thank you for the words… my guy is not a mommy’s boy. He is matured enough.. and as far as I know he won’t leave my side in front of his parents as long as I am right.. because he has gone thru a lot of hardships tillbl now in our relationship.. he is beaten up by his parents quite a few times that if it was some other guy, that person would have ended the relationship a long time ago.. but my guy never told this to me.. hope that his parents understand this n accept our relationship and agree to get us married…
We highly recommend you make rational decision for your life, not blind in love decision. The divorce will ruin your life. Considering your parents are reasonable and open minded, make a point of informing of all what is going on. Listen to their opinion but in the end do exactly that you wish to.
Rome was not built in a day, it is possible that it may take up to 2 years to settle all these issues. Meantime, use this time to understand Christianity and how that religion is different than yours.
Is your bf ready to marry you by the Civil wedding? If not, are you ready to convert to Christianity for their church wedding?
This decision is not made blindly in love… I know the seriousness of this.. it is a decision of life which we are making.. but we are quite sure of it.. neither I nor my guy are thinking of divorce because we know that we can get along with each other very well.. even if we would fight or quarrel we won’t go to an extent wer we decide to separate. We know the value of our relationship and we will make every effort to work this out…
Glad to hear, keep us posted for how it goes. Let us know if there is any discussion of you changing your faith to please parents/church.
I consider that God is one.. And to me baptism means accepting Jesus as a God which already accepted.. I mean I worship churches.. My guy says that he is okay if I worship my God even after marriage. They r just finding ways to insult him and scold him for no reason keeping this thing in mind… He is going through a lot of mental pressure because of their behaviour.. Please help..
Hello Swati,
We will help you step wise and till you need our help, even that may take 2 years.
We are very happy that your father is okay with what ever your plan. This is something very rare that we have seen on this web site. In return, in your best interest, make a point of telling your father like you would to a trusted friend. Always inform him and listen to him, but in the end do that is exactly that you wish to do. Remember, in case there is a divorce (we hope not), your parents are the only in this world would take you back. So, are you in agreement to work with you parents?
We are also happy that your boy friend is supporting. Only issue is his parents.
We believe all these issues can be solve by education and good communication. To start on education, can you view this video with your father and get back to us what did you learned. We will be waiting.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlAuY85RlcE
Hi.
I saw this video which u asked me to watch.. My guy’s parents are threatening him that if marries me they will die. N we are in fix.. We don’t know what to do now.. Please help us..
Hi Swati, first we have not heard any parents committed suicide because of their son married interfaith. As far we are concern, the “they will die” is an empty threat without meaning. Lets assume you will submit to their threat of suicide. After marriage, they will want you to clean their house, cook, message their feet and want to live your married-life like their slave, and if you don’t do it, “they will die.” Would you buy this? …and how long?
If your boy friend is a son who will not stand behind you (his wife) and protect you from his irrational parents, you will be in deeeeep trouble after marriage. As a matter of fact, tell the guy to get married by civil wedding (no conversion) and you two go live 100 km away from both sets of parents. Enjoy your married life with liberty and freedom. Once you have children, those parents will come around to play with grandchildren.
If your bf has no guts to protect you, why will you wish to marry such a coward?
Why you wish to submit to their intolerance for what you are and ready to convert? This will be a grave mistake to (fake) convert. Being broad minded does not mean you submit to someone’s irrational demands. Learn to live your life with PRIDE.
Thank u for ur words and support.. Will have a word with my guy and convince for a court marriage which would help us now from the threat of his parents..
Swati,
We admire your parents for what they taught you, i.e. to love and respect all (pluralism). Make sure you to have the same option to teach it to your children. Do not make your daughter like McKenna (read). Ask your boy friend that–how is it logical that only people who are baptized will go to heaven (exclusivity) and non-Baptized Muslims, Buddhists and Hindus will not be saved? Ask him why converting you is more important for his church rather than seeing good humanity in Swati’s heart. Why not follow Jesus and keep the church out?
Also check if your bf is a “mommy’s boy.” If he is not ready to protect you from his irrational parents, you are not going to last for a long in that home.
Sorry if we are showing you lots of red flags (warnings) but you understand all that we are saying and then make a decision what ever your heart desires. We want you to make a fully informed decision for your marriage. So, find out if the guy is right for you.
Hi Swati,
We will be glad to help you all along. Please keep in touch with us here.
You are certainly going through a difficult time. Can you tell us what does baptizing means to you? We understand you are willing to accept Jesus in your life, but are you ready to give up all your other Gods and Hindu practices from your heart and mind forever (even after divorce, if that be)? After baptism, are you ready to not celebrate anymore Diwali and Holi and never to enter a Hindu temple to pray? This also means you will have to distance yourself from your Hindu parents, is that something you have in mind for conversion?
We have seen two types of Christians. One that is portrayed in Bollywood movies; those who love and care for all. Those who believe in Jesus message of “Love thy neighbors.” Then there are the others who believes in Jesus’ other messages (came to divide [Luke 12:51] and bring swords [Matthew 10:34] between people). Bible teaches to not leave anything that breath from idol-worshippers [Deuteronomy 20:17]. If your in-laws are the other type, do you think you will be happy going and living with them for lifetime?
Let us know what else you wish to know?