Don’t See a Future Ahead

luv says: February 21, 2018 at 11:41 pm

i am also in the same condition (Hindu girl with Kashmiri Muslim) but in my case my bf told me that he wants to stay with me n will try convince his parents too but we will have to stay out of india once we both are self dependent and earning really well.

But all this is not stable my friends say that after college he will go kashmir and will not come back but my heart sometimes think there way and knowing him personally feel that no he would not but what to do its all blank and don’t see a future ahead -Luv

Nita says: February 23, 2018 at 1:06 am
Hi Luv,

Reading your comments, I assume that you both are still in college. I think you both are too young to take that kind of decision at present. Nevertheless, I think you need to talk to him in detail about his plans. As long as you both are not self dependent, you cannot even think of having a life of your own. For now, I would suggest, concentrate on your studies and then on getting a decent job. only then you both can sit and have this conversation. Then ask him directly when can he talk to his parents and what’s the plan for future.

I can understand your condition now. You love him truly and may be he also does but because of this uncertain future, you are very scared. Its okay. I don’t want to make you doubt your love, and I do hope that you both end up together. But in my case, they guy lured me well in the beginning and was all good but when the talks about marriage started coming up, he first agreed and then he started saying that his parents will not agree and that he’s the eldest in the family and that he cant set that example.

I still kept my hopes alive and continued the relationship with him cz he was like a charming person and I was mesmerized by his love. I was too blind to see the truth. Your love has to pass the test of time. even after getting out of college and getting a job, you both still want to be together then only you should talk to him about talking to his family. Even then, you should be ready to convert to Islam because the marriage is not validated in their religion if it is not done with a Muslim person.

I donno about your family background. I donno how your parents will react. Life is very big. Right now you are just boyfriend girlfriend. But once you start talking about marriage and stuff, you have to be mentally very strong cz there will a lot of changes that will come your way and you ill have to take the most appropriate decision at that time.

I am always here to help you out but I would need to know more in order to understand the guy. My experiences might help you but decision will always be yours. I would just say that right now you are too young I believe so don’t take any decision in haste. And right now try to concentrate on making your career so that when you are financially independent, then only you can take any decision. Let me know if you need any suggestions/help from me. Regards, -Nita


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5 Comments

  • Ruchika
    January 6, 2019 7:31 pm

    Depends on what type of guy,i know 50-60 marriage i have in my fb friend list which is working out well.

  • Khan Hussain
    January 6, 2019 8:34 am

    Luv you said you are in college so you must be around the age of 22-25 and this is the age for your studies nd then about everything else so just now focus on your studies and be financially independent then only talk about the marriage with your bf or anybody else…

  • Ramesh R. Desai
    February 25, 2018 10:04 am

    Here is an article I wrote shortly after 9/11 terrorist attack on World Trade center, NY. It is long and full of factual statistics figures. I hope it is useful in understanding muslim mind. (The statistical table at the end is not correctly formated. Please advise so i can send it separately.)

    Islamisation of the world by the year 2201
    (July 2002)

    Is it possible?

    By: Ramesh R. Desai
    Statistically, Muslimisation (Muslims being 50% of the world population) is an absolute certainty even prior to year 2501 if the present growth rates of Muslims and non-Muslims continue for that period.
    Islam religion and hence Muslim population began around 640 AD and now there are 1,300,000,000 Muslims in this world. This is a historical growth rate of 1.51% per year. The world population now is 6,137,000,000 and the current growth rate of the world population is 1.30% per year (Source: PRB 2001 World Population Data Sheet). At these growth rates, mathematically, it will take 410 years for Muslim population to be 50% of the world population.
    In fact, current growth rates of many Muslim countries are much greater than 1.51%.
    Attached is an excel spreadsheet which lists 47 countries with Muslim majority and their populations and growth rate statistics. The composite growth rate for these 47 countries is 2.00%. Based 2.00% growth rate of Muslim population v/s 1.3% for the world it will take only 125 years for Muslims to be 50 % of the world population!!!! Therefore if these growth rates continue, mathematically it is a certainty that the world will be muslimised between 125 and 410 years.
    (Of course if these growth rates continue the world population in 125 years and 410 years will be 30 billion and 1.22 trillion respectively; Muslim population will be 15 billion and 610 billion for the respective periods. We may say that that is not possible but if someone said the same thing for the world population of 6.1 billion people 400 years ago he would have been laughed out of the court, if he was lucky and beheaded if he was not. In any case if there are going to be factors which will mitigate the population to what we guesstimate to be a “sustainable” level, there is no reason to believe that those factors will affect Muslim and non-Muslim populations differently to change the growth rates and hence percentages. Therefore, in absence of any other information, the above conclusion should stand the scientific scrutiny.)

    Islamisation
    Islamisation means conversion of a country or a state or a region’s legal system to Islamic (or Quaranic or Sharia) law. Islamisation of the world means 50% of the world population living under Sharia law.
    Once a region is muslimised, Muslims demand for a separate country or a region for themselves, e.g. Pakistan and Bangladesh and now a demand for independent Kashmir. Once a country is muslimised, Islamists demand for Islamic or Quranic or Sharia law.
    Let us take an example of Pakistan. When it separated from India in 1947 it proclaimed itself a secular state. The Islamists gradually exerted their influence and in 1988 Pakistan became a Sharia law country.
    Bangladesh got its independence in 1971 and now it is sliding towards Sharia law. Recent election resulted in a government which needed support of small Islamist parties and within 20 years, I believe, Bangladesh will become a sharia law country.
    Similar tendencies are in place in other large Islamic countries such as Indonesia, Malaysia and Nigeria. In all of these countries Islamists are demanding and in my opinion will be successful in making them sharia law countries. The attached statistical sheet shows a few other countries where sharia law is inevitable.
    Countries such as Turkey and Egypt are trying hard to keep Islamists at bay but based on Islamist persistence it is doubtful these countries will remain non-sharia for a long time.
    In either case, (whether muslimised or Islamised) the Muslim majority decimates the minorities by any and every means. Through physical, social, judicial, financial, legal, extralegal, religious, personal, familial or brute force duress, they either convert or drive out or kill the minorities.
    Again let us take the example of Pakistan. In 1947 its population was about 50,000,000 of which minorities constituted about 25% or 12,500,000. If minorities grew at the current world growth rate of 1.3% per year, they should have now numbered 25,000,000. Instead the minority population in Pakistan at present is only 2% or 2,700,000!! In effect, Pakistan converted, drove out or killed 22,300,000 (25,000,000-2,700,000) of non-Muslims in last 55 years. And the world, amnesty international and similar organization does not seem to have any problem with that.
    Similarly in Bangladesh non-Muslim population has plummeted from 30% to 10% in the same period and therefore there is elimination of 13,000,000 non-Muslims. Not only that, the same annihilation is going on right now and will not stop until non-Muslims are for all practical purposes wiped out. That means existing 13,000,000 non-Muslims and their progeny will not see the light of the day as non-Muslims. See the table below for historical growth of Muslim population in some countries.
    (Not available)
    Although these examples are of recent years this by no means is a recent phenomenon. In 14th century Indonesia was largely a Buddhist and Hindu nation. In about 400 years it became a 90% Muslim country. Similar examples abound in other parts of the world.
    Once a nation is muslimised or Islamised one can be rest assured the minority population only goes down and therefore the attached list contain many Muslim countries showing more than 90% Muslim population. One can also be rest assured that due to horrendous apostasy and other sharia laws non-Muslims are not going to go there to settle anytime soon. At the same time where Muslims are minority, their population continues to grow at faster rate than the host country. In 1947 India had 10% Muslims; now they constitute 15% of the population. Similar increases are observed in the US and most if not all European countries.
    The reason for this inexorable march towards Islamisation is the quaranic order for all Muslims to establish one and only one nation under the rule of Allah on this earth if not the universe. Christianity is also a monotheist religion but Christians have well developed and learned the concept of separation of church and state while that concept is totally foreign to Islam. True, some people say that Islam is a religion of tolerance but those who do not, i.e. the Islamic fundamentalists, seem to have much more power and control over the large Muslim population. So-called moderate Muslims either do not have enough power or guts or ability or willingness to oppose the fundamentalists. That may be due to constant threats of punishments or fatwahs from these fundamentalists. Or it may be due to the fact that in their hearts (of moderates) they too believe in one nation under Allah and they either acquiesce fundamentalist activities and/or covertly support them. In any case the moderate voice is totally silenced and the march towards Islam continues to go on.
    This process of Islamisation is very methodical, organized, well funded, persistent, deliberate, determined and widely distributed. Please read the article “Creating An Islamic State”. Also no part of the world, including the USA is immune to this Islamisation planning process. Please read the article “How to make America an Islamic Nation” described in the website America and Islam; http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Park/6443/America/
    Based on these observations the world between 125 years and 410 years from now will most likely will be islamised by 2201 AD.

    What are non-Muslims to do?
    In my opinion the recent terrorist activities are nothing but further manifestation or extension of Islamic fundamentalism. There have been extensive discussions and proposed solutions for this menace.
    One popular suggestion is to bring vibrant democracy to these nations. But the practice proves otherwise. Pakistan started out with democracy and is now an Islamist state during both the military and democratic rules. Bangladesh, Malaysia, Egypt, Indonesia, Nigeria, etc. are democratic and are sliding towards sharia law. In fact look at the attached statistics and you will quickly observe that most of the sharia law countries are democracies.
    Another notion is that increased living standards in these countries would reduce fundamentalism. Again the reality is starkly different. A recent study shows that most of the terrorists/fundamentalists come from either rich or middle class families, a la Bin Laden. Also Saudi Arabia, a very rich country seems to be awash with fundamentalists.
    Yet another notion is that higher education will help stem the tide and yet the reality is otherwise. Most of the terrorists are well educated.
    In fact, in recent times greater democracy, abundant wealth and higher education seem to accelerate this inexorable propagation of fundamentalism. Tremendous wealth of Saudi Arabia has very successfully exported its brand of fundamentalism to many parts of the world including some remote ones. Western education and technologies are very successfully used by Islamists to further their goal of world domination in all parts of the world. Thus billions of dollars spent for these so-called remedies to stem the Islamist tide may have exactly opposite effect and may fan the fire of Islamist expansionism.
    Is democracy with separation of church and state the solution? Or is it internal reform of Islam, i.e. abandon the idea of one Islamic nation under Allah, respect other religions and live peacefully with other people? Or will it have to be a forcible containment and/or reduction of Islamisation? I guess the solution may be combination all of the above alternatives.

    Conclusion
    This hypothesis is obviously dependent upon a big if, if the present population and Islamisation trends continue. My opinion is that these trends will continues unless they are opposed with new deliberation, dedication and determination. The world better find a solution (s) to this phenomenon. The alternative is unthinkable.
    Following is a list of websites that were used to prepare this article:
    http://www.sesrtcic.org/members/default.shtml; List of current Organization of Islamic Countries
    http://www.alleanzacattolica.org/acs; Report 2000 on religious freedom in the world.
    http://chasing.8m.com/; The Muslim World
    http://www.factmonster.com/countries.html; Countries of the World
    http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Park/6443/America/;America and Islam
    Read also Creating An Islamic State

    Dear Ali,
    Thanks for posting my article in your forum. It has generated many comments to which I will send my responses in the near future. Dutchee has requested the statistical table I had attached previously. I tried to send it to him but the format is not conducive for this big table. Please publish it for him and others to see. I am attaching it again as well as printing it below:

    Muslim countries statistics and other comments
    Muslim countries 2002 mid year Natural growth annual muslim state Law Governence
    (note 1) Population rate % population population religion other comments (note 4)
    in millions growth %
    (note 1) (note 1,2) in millions (note 3)
    1 Afghanistan
    21.20 2.60 0.55 99.00% islam hopefully non-quaranic emerging democracy
    2 Albania
    3.13 1.10 0.03 70.00% emerging democracy
    3 Algeria
    30.29 2.00 0.61 99.50% islam Quranic law parliamnetary republic
    4 Azerbaijan
    8.05 0.90 0.07 88.00% none Islamic fundamentalism is rising constitutional republic
    5 Bahrain
    0.69 1.90 0.01 90.00% islam Quranic law Monarchy
    6 Bangladesh
    137.44 1.90 2.61 88.30% islam tending towards quranic law democracy
    7 Brunei
    0.33 1.90 0.01 67.20% islam tending towards quranic law monarchy
    8 Burkina Faso
    11.54 2.50 0.29 50.00% secular democracy
    9 Chad
    7.89 2.90 0.23 54.00% secular favoring islam democracy
    10 Comoros
    0.71 3.10 0.02 99.00% islam tending towards quranic law democracy
    11 Djibouti
    0.63 2.30 0.01 96.00% islam Quranic law democracy
    12 Egypt
    63.98 2.10 1.34 94.00% islam Islamic fundamentalism is rising republic
    13 Gambia
    1.36 2.60 0.04 95.40% secular non quaranic democracy in transition
    14 Guinea
    8.15 2.20 0.18 86.90% secular democracy
    15 Indonesia
    210.49 1.50 3.16 92.00% five religions tending towards quranic law democracy
    16 Iran
    63.66 1.30 0.83 99.20% islam Quranic law theocracy
    17 Iraq
    23.57 2.20 0.52 97.00% islam tending towards quranic law one party republic
    18 Jordan
    4.97 3.30 0.16 92.00% islam Quranic law Monarchy
    19 Kazakhstan
    16.17 0.50 0.08 50.00% none favoring islam republic
    20 Kuwait
    2.22 1.80 0.04 85.00% islam Quranic law Monarchy
    21 Kyrgyzstan
    4.90 1.27 0.06 70.00% none favoring islam republic
    22 Lebanon
    3.50 1.40 0.05 75.00% 17 religions favoring islam republic
    23 Libya
    5.29 2.40 0.13 97.00% islam Quranic law military dictatorship
    24 Malaysia
    23.27 2.10 0.49 55.00% islam tending towards quranic law democracy
    25 Maldives
    0.29 1.50 0.00 100.00% islam Quranic law democracy
    26 Mali
    11.35 2.60 0.30 90.00% secular democracy
    27 Mauritania
    2.67 2.70 0.07 99.50% islam Quranic law republic under military rule
    28 Morocco
    28.71 1.80 0.52 98.70% islam Quranic law Monarchy
    29 Niger
    10.83 3.20 0.35 98.70% christians being driven out by islamists republic emerging from military rule
    30 Nigeria
    115.22 2.40 2.77 50.00% secular tending towards quranic law transiting from military to civilian rule
    31 Oman
    2.40 2.90 0.07 87.70% islam Quranic law Monarchy
    32 Pakistan
    137.50 2.60 3.58 98.00% islam Quranic law military;
    33 Palestine
    3.15 3.70 0.12 95.00% islam Quranic law nation to be
    34 Qatar
    0.58 1.80 0.01 95.00% islam Quranic law Monarchy
    35 Saudi Arabia
    22.00 2.90 0.64 98.80% islam Quranic law Monarchy
    36 Senegal
    9.52 2.40 0.23 92.00% secular good religious harmony multiparty democracy
    37 Sierra Leone
    4.46 2.10 0.09 60.00% secular democracy
    38 Somalia
    8.78 2.93 0.26 99.00% islam Quranic law anarchy
    39 Sudan
    31.10 2.30 0.72 73.00% islam Quranic law military;
    40 Syria
    16.30 2.40 0.39 96.00% islam Quranic law military;
    41 Tajikistan
    6.17 1.40 0.09 85.00% Islamic fundamentalism is rising republic
    42 Tunisia
    9.56 1.10 0.11 99.00% islam Quranic law democracy
    43 Turkey
    65.26 1.40 0.91 99.80% secular Islamic fundamentalism is rising republican parliamentory democracy
    44 Turkmenistan
    4.74 1.40 0.07 87.00% mainly islam off shoot of islamist movement one party republic
    45 United Arab Emirates
    2.61 0.80 0.02 96.00% islam Quranic law
    46 Uzbekistan
    24.75 1.60 0.40 88.00% islam Islamic fundamentalism is rising authoritarian presidential rule
    47 Yemen
    18.26 2.90 0.53 99.00% islam Quranic law parliamentary republic
    Total 1,189.64 23.74
    Composit growth rate 2.00
    Nore 1: see http://www.sesrtcic.org/members/default.shtml
    List of current OIC (organization of Islamic Countries) members
    Note 2 ; year 2000 or the latest availableyear growth rate
    Note 3: source – http://www.alleanzacattolica.org/acs; Report 2000 on religious freedom in the world.
    source – http://chasing.8m.com/; The Muslim World
    Note 4: Major source – http://www.factmonster.com/countries.html – Countries of the World
    Nore 1: see http://www.sesrtcic.org/members/defa ult.shtml List of current OIC (organization of Islamic Countries) members
    Note 2 ; year 2000 or the latest availableyear growth rate
    Note 3: source – http://www.alleanzacattolica.org/acs ; Report 2000 on religious freedom in the world
    source – http://chasing.8m.com/; The Muslim World
    Note 4: Major source – http://www.factmonster.com/countries .html – Countries of the World

    Ramesh

    • Ruchika
      January 6, 2019 8:02 pm

      I don’t know what is that ramesh sie has tried to prove here.
      He hss quoted source “a” which described to to make america an islamic nation.
      And source “b” to show his first point Both of the source i have never heard of before.

      Completely missed the substance & objective of this post.

  • February 22, 2018 7:52 pm

    Hi Luv,,

    This “will try convince his parents” will be difficult for him and “will go kashmir and will not come back” is likely. Are you willing to convert to Islam and ready to be a Muslim wife? How long have you been in love? Get back to us, best wishes.

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