sofie says: February 16, 2014 at 12:54 pm
Hi
Im a devoted Christian girl that is very much in love with my Hindu Brahmin boyfriend. We love each other but we think were hopeless of getting married. His family is a faithful Brahmin, they practice arranged marriage. If he marries a non-Brahmin girl, his family will disown him, and I dont want it happen to him. I dont wanna leave my religion but i want to fight for him. What do you think admin? is it time for me to move on?
If ever i decide to convert, are Brahmins allowed to marry a convert??
I’ll appreciate any response. thanks. -Sofie.
Admin says:
In an ideal world, we are all God’s creation and there should not be any limitation for who could marry whom. Unfortunately, people discriminate others. Brahmin would like a Brahmin daughter-in-law and same for Christian parents. Two of you have to decide how you could manage these differences and still have a happy and healthy long lasting married life. If you really willing to sacrifice and make it work, parents will ultimately get around. So, first you have to know who are you and what you are getting into.
In general, there is no conversion practice in Hindus. So far, you love and respect others, that should be sufficient. You continue to be what you are (a Christian) and your husband will remain Brahmin, that’s all. However, a Brahmin would like you to be a non-meat eater, is that okay with you (at least most times)? Brahmins (or any Hindus) will have many rituals where they will pray to the (Father) God in different shapes and names (multiple Gods), are you seeing it as a bad form of idol worshipping? If the answer is yes, it is time for you to move on. We hope you see it as the same God, but different ways of reaching to Her or Him.
Did you checked with your parents, church and community for how they will feel if that Brahmin don’t convert to Christianity for your church wedding, you become a vegetarian, you (Christian) start visiting Hindu temples for pooja of different Gods (and he will come to your church as a Hindu), your non-baptized children will celebrate both Diwali and Christmas, you will teach your children from Geeta and Bible side by side,….etc. Basically, is it okay with your church if you become completely a pluralist? Let us know and we will discuss more. Please come back. Best wishes. -Admin.
sofie says: February 17, 2014 at 6:42 am
Thank you so much for responding admin.
Before we became together, we were bestfriends. We respect each other’s culture&religion. We celebrate both Diwali and Christmas together. no problem with foods, im a vegetarian anyway and its fine with him that I eat meat. I pray for him to my God and he do the same to his. When we were just friends, i liked his culture (even till now), i was even excited to meet his future wife who will be astrologically matched with him. He’s kinda agnostic, he believes that there is only one same force that rule the universe but in different forms. He and his parents had already read the bible cover to cover. His mum even went to church with him when he was younger, but remained loyal to their beliefs. For him, marrying a fellow brahmin is more like a family tradition, a family’s pride. That’s what he said before.And i think he’s still into that ’till now. We havent talked seriously bout that yet as we still dont want to get married. But i want to spend the rest of my life with him.
No problem with my family. I have the full liberty on who i want to marry. they even like him.. But the next problem is the wedding. And yeah, our kids. they cant have a normal religious life.
*sighs* Now I think the best option is to get over him. When we were friends, he didnt go out with anybody as he said that his marriage will be arranged anyway.We didnt mean to fall in love with each other. When we became together, we decided not to think bout the future but the every present moment we share. Im from Philippines by the way. -Sofie.
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Hi, I am a Hindu in love with a Christian girl(Jacobite ). She feels that if we get married without me converting, the church will not allow her to do the last rites of her parents as she will get excommunicated. I am not interested to convert and nor do I expect her to. My question is that if we get married as per the special marriage act in india, will the chuch excommunicate her? Will that not be unlawful for the church to stop the daughter from doing last rites. Please share your feedback. Thanks
I am a non-Brahman/hindu. I just started dating a brahmin hindu guy. He lives in India and I live in America. One of my friends keep telling me he is probably using me to say he has an American girlfriend and just going to hurt me. I don’t agree with my friend. What do you think? He says he want’s to get married in 2 years because his parents will likely disown him. And he wants to have his career portfolio finished (2 years to finish the portfolio) As far as I know his parents don’t know about me yet. What are the chances we can work everything out and get married? And what advice would you give him on how to break the news to his parents?
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=10048
Hi Emily,
Thanks for reaching out. Apparently you started dating on internet, which has it’s own issues.
Considering you both are Hindus and will be settling most probably in America, there should be minimal issue from his parents (and will ultimately get around). Before breaking news to parents, first you two have to decide if you are right mate for each other.
Are you born and raised in America or there just recently? There could be a big cultural difference between two of you, for this reason, go meet him in person for 3 months before deciding anything further. We are not saying you do not have a true love for each other but it is good to think of all other possible issues. Bottom line, go meet him in person and at that time introduce yourself to his parents as his internet friend (not girl friend). Best wishes.
He is hindu I am not. I am non brahmin and non hindu… yes we met online. We are planning for me to visit in 3-4 months… I am born and raised American. I am also from a Christian home. Sorry I should have explained more…
Thanks for clarifying. Are you baptized? What faith do you carry? Do you believe only Jesus can be a savior or do you also believe Muslims and Hindus also can go to heaven based on their karma? Do you believe your children must be baptized Christians only or you don’t really care?
Admin according to some parts of Bible, Muslim will go to heaven, we don`t need certificate from non-practicing Christians. We Muslims don`t mind that they think about Muslims who regard Jesus(Peace be upon him) as true Prophet.
This is hilarious Sofie because I’m Brahmin and the man I love is Christian. But he’s Coptic christian and he would get excommunicated if he married a non-coptic Christian. You could marry him and I could marry your guy and we could all just please our parents and live in one house lmao. What do you think loll.
I know it’s not feasible, but I feel like marrying him under our circumstances seems just as hopeless. 🙁
Dear sfk,
Can you elaborate more on “I feel like marrying him under our circumstances seems just as hopeless.”? Why?
Yeah, sounds fair. That was a beautiful advice admin. Im so thankful that i found this website. I’ll follow both your advice. I’ll try to fight my love for him but if it wont work, i’ll be smart enough to move on. One last question Admin, do u know any Christian-Brahmin couples who are happily married now? how did they got married?
There are not two interfaith marriage cases exactly the same. So it does not matter what someone else did, however learn from all others.
You first decide who are you? What God means to you? If you feel Jesus is only savior (baptism a must), walk away from this relationship and find another Christian. Likewise, if that Hindu is a religious fanatic, it is a good reason to move away from him. Consider interfaith marriage only if you both are true pluralist. Rest minor glitches could be worked out later.
You could marry in a church who is not asking for baptism for the spouse or children, check with several churches. Likewise, you could have a Hindu marriage without conversion. Even the Hindu priest may not mind you wearing the cross during the wedding ceremony. If these does not work out, check with Philippine court system if they have civil (non-religious) marriage registration. Good luck!
Thank you so much for responding admin.
Before we became together, we were bestfriends. We respect each other’s culture&religion. We celebrate both Diwali and Christmas together. no problem with foods, im a vegetarian anyway and its fine with him that I eat meat. I pray for him to my God and he do the same to his. When we were just friends, i liked his culture (even till now), i was even excited to meet his future wife who will be astrologically matched with him. He’s kinda agnostic, he believes that there is only one same force that rule the universe but in different forms. He and his parents had already read the bible cover to cover. His mum even went to church with him when he was younger, but remained loyal to their beliefs. For him, marrying a fellow brahmin is more like a family tradition, a family’s pride. That’s what he said before.And i think he’s still into that ’till now. We havent talked seriously bout that yet as we still dont want to get married. But i want to spend the rest of my life with him.
No problem with my family. I have the full liberty on who i want to marry. they even like him.. But the next problem is the wedding. And yeah, our kids. they cant have a normal religious life.
*sighs* Now I think the best option is to get over him. When we were friends, he didnt go out with anybody as he said that his marriage will be arranged anyway.We didnt mean to fall in love with each other. When we became together, we decided not to think bout the future but the every present moment we share. Im from Philippines by the way.
Why you said your kids can’t have “normal” religious life? What kinds of “abnormal” religious life they must have, why?
Why kind of wedding you must (church?) have? and what you must not (Brahmin Hindu wedding?) have? Check with your church and get back to us.
Well, arent that confusing on the part of the children having two beliefs?? i’ve always dreamed of church wedding but im willing to sacrifice that dream. What do you think Admin, should I confront him now if he’s willing to fight for me? and if not, we’ll break the relationship. I think that’s the best option.
If you are there to help your children, why they will be confused about being in two faiths? You could take them to a mandir on Saturday and a church on Sunday, teach them from Bible and Geeta, teach them about Krishna and Jesus, celebrate Diwali and Christmas, and teach them that there is ONE GOD but different people see and follow Her or Him in different ways. It is so beautiful to be a pluralist. Set a new example of love and respect all faiths. Let us know what is still your concern for faith of your children.
Thank you so much for that beautiful advice admin. So okay, assumed that the problem bout our children’s faith is solved. The only problem now is his views on his family’s tradition. What should I tell him to open his mind bout living together without any wedding from my church or his temple?? And bout his caste pride??
Hindus have general belief that Christians are monotheist (Hindus don’t follow real God), exclusivist and supremacist (only Jesus saves, non-baptized Gandhi will go to hell). Further, the Christian in-law (and his/her church) will not rest till they convert the Hindu intended spouse and their interfaith children by baptism. Like most Western Christians now, you and your parents are certainly open minded and are willing to follow Jesus but not the church (no baptism). This is beautiful and admirable.
Now on your Hindu bf who is in Philippines. Is he financially independent? Is he living on his own? If necessary, can he change his job and move to a different city to live your married life?
Every faith and family will have certain traditions and they will wish to continue. However, in new days and age, one has to adapt to current reality of life. For Christians, to Baptize all in family is a must. If not, you are carrying your original sin. The Brahmin may believe in horoscope to match a potential wife. These are superstitions, nothing more. We believe these are things of the past and it is time for a change.
It will take a year or two of time to change him. Get in rational and friendly discussion/argument about all points that is bothering you. Also go meet his parents several times, just as a guest. Be a good friend with his sister/brother and built friendship. Initially they will resist but slowly they will feel you are not any different than them. Things could change.
We understand you are getting older, wishes to settled down and don’t want to waste too much time and energy on this Brahmin. If so, start looking for your other options (next bf) now. Keep all options open and plan to make a clear choice in next 12 months (like a smart business lady). Fair?
Which country are you from?
Are you both financially independent (if you have to go against your parents)?