Bobby says: April 19, 2016 at 8:19 am
Guys,
Hi there. I am happily married to a Muslim woman and am hindu in origin. We have 2 beautiful boys and we believe our success has come through compromise.
This means allowing your children to celebrate Diwali and Eid. If your husband is making your children only live in a one sided manner then he clearly has no respect for you (Nirmala), your background or even your children. -Bobby
Bobby says: April 20, 2016 at 11:32 pm
Hi there
Yes to clarify I am born a hindu and I do practice diwali.
My father is Hindu and my mother is Sikh.
As a family we would go to the Gurdwara but I was brought up to celebrate Christmas as we are based in the UK. This I assume is out of respect for the country we are born in which gave my family a chance to succeed in life.
I do no explicitly follow any one religion but respect them all.
When I first met my wife this is why I saw my wife not for her religion but for who she is, and she is a beautiful person.
Most people see each other in this way too, so when they then impose their faiths in this way is single minded and selfish.
My wife and I have our respects and desires in the way we want to raise our children and we have balanced this out and compromised.
This has allowed us to both grow as parents and as human beings. -Bobby
Bobby says: April 24, 2016 at 2:06 pm
I have been married according to the nikkah, in a Gurdwara with the Guru Granth Sahib present and according to civil marriage with the Bible present.
This satisfied all those involved in our lives. -Bobby
Bobby says: April 25, 2016 at 3:09 am
No there was no rejection from my wife’s side (about Hindu vivaha).
My wife appreciated the need to get married under her rituals and under mine so we shared this together.
However I believe questions around the rituals are misplaced as neither of us are religious and therefore this forum should focus on the bigger picture which is whether we are happily married and have worked out a way to live together in peace and harmony and the answer is yes.
Do me and my wife live our lives according to the way we wish to? Yes
Do we have children that follow one religion? No
Am I a Muslim or my wife and hindu to satisfy others? No (admin’s note: even after Shahadah for Nikaah)
I hope our experience can be used to benefit others. -Bobby
View videos: Interfaith Marriage with Equality, All you want to know about the Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia: Hindu-Muslim Marriages,
Also read: Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus?, Love-Jihad, Don’t fake-convert, Polygamy and talaak, Akansha unwillingly converted to Nusrat, Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Idols, pluralism, SRK-can you do it?, Zakir Naik, Christian-Hindu marriages, Sikh-Muslim marriages, Malaysia in love, Marriage laws.
Return to Home, Blogs, How to Share? Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, Book, Media.
Since admin wanted my take on this, then here it is, and i will put it this way- had i been marrying a hindu girl, and she was doing a fake shahadah to please my family, then i wouldn’t have married her in the first place, not because i hate her, but i love and fear my creator allah, shahadah is the most important part of being a muslim, fake shahadah is a mockery of shahadah, being muslim i will never allow that, instead i will walk away from that relationship, also i will not do fake vivah i.e technical term for hindu weeding like nikah just to please my hindu in laws, i can’t cheat them by remaining as muslim while marrying their daughter as hindu, so better i will not start relationship with non-muslim girl, i will stick with my religious community.
This is true, “fake shahadah is a mockery of shahadah,” for Hindus, they don’t understand what it means being a Muslim and are ready to add one more God (Allah) to already their 1 million Gods. If you wish to be happy and make your parents happy, marry a girl from your own faith. Best wishes.
Hi Bobby,
This is something puzzling to us and wish to know. You have rights to believe what ever but please explain us.
On one side you are an inclusivist and pluralist but on the other side you distance yourself from “Hindu.” Why? You said your wife is a “Muslim” but you are a “hindu in origin.” Even your wife had no problem with Hindu vivaha, you decided not to have a Hindu wedding, along with Muslim, Sikh and Civil. Even for Civil wedding you elected to take marriage oaths on the Bible while you had an option of picking Koran, Geeta or just your hands on your heart. We do not know why your parents elected to “I was brought up to celebrate Christmas as we are based in the UK.” Further, you added on it “This I assume is out of respect for the country we are born in which gave my family a chance to succeed in life,” do you think to be a Christian is a must in UK to be successful? Are you also going to install Christian-pride in your children to be successful? Like you said, “My father is Hindu,” is he consider himself a “Hindu”? Let us know what issues you see in Hinduism that you wish to distance yourself from. Thanks.
I have been married according to the nikkah, in a Gurdwara with the Guru Granth Sahib present and according to civil marriage with the Bible present.
This satisfied all those involved in our lives.
You are living a very happy married life and please continue that way. Best wishes. However, as an intellectual and educated, you have to also know how people views faiths.
There are two classes of religious people, pluralist and exclusivist. You are a perfect pluralist. In your eyes, having multiple rituals is an act to satisfy all. One can be Hindu one day, Sikh the next day and Christian the following day. A baptized Christian may become Buddhist and there won’t be any major issue. However, when comes to Islam it is a different deal. You had Nikaah, meaning you must have Shahadah (let us know if not) religious conversion to Islam. Islam is an exclusivist religion and a Muslim cannot convert (or claim to be something else, like Hindu) to any other faith. Muhammad said, “Whoever changes his Islamic religion, then kill him.” (Bukhari 9.84.57) So, as much as you think you are a free man, there could be serious consequences if you any time later claim that you are no a Muslim.
Your father is Hindu, why you skipped Hindu vivaha to please your father side? Was there any objection from your wife’s side?
No there was no rejection from my wife’s side.
My wife appreciated the need to get married under her rituals and under mine so we shared this together.
However I believe questions around the rituals are misplaced as neither of us are religious and therefore this forum should focus on the bigger picture which is whether we are happily married and have worked out a way to live together in peace and harmony and the answer is yes.
Do me and my wife live our lives according to the way we wish to? Yes
Do we have children that follow one religion? No
Am I a Muslim or my wife and hindu to satisfy others? No
I hope our experience can be used to benefit others
Bobby,
You are our role model. Yours is an Interfaith Marriage with EQUALITY (title of this web site). We wish all youths in love follow your model. This is the way to make this world a peaceful and happy place for all.
You are youths/young-adults who fall in love innocently and now making all efforts to keep your married life happy. Secret of your successful married life is your “pluralistic” beliefs. If any one tries to derail your married life with exclusivist intolerant teachings, ignore them. Learn from Seema, Salman, Shah Rukh Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Shamim, Rabia and Jainab.
Actually we are asking you questions just to make you think how exclusivists think. For example, you took Shahadah (conversion to Islam for Nikaah) oath and that means you are a Muslim. Now if you said “Am I a Muslim…? No.” For a Muslim to be a non-Muslim is apostasy and punishment could be death (Bukhari 9.84.57). We are glad you are living in UK but be careful making such a statement in public while visiting an Islamic country.
We are glad your wife is also a pluralist and tolerant (had no objection for Hindu Vivaha). Make sure to take all opportunities to continuously preach pluralism (if you don’t want to be DEE).
Keep in touch with this web site to help other youths in love relationship. It will also prepare you better for the future to reply back to your an intolerant relative or a friend who challenges your views or trying to derail your happy married life. Best wishes.
Thank you for your comments.
Just for info I have taken Amrit at the Golden Temple.
I do not follow the shahada and am not afraid of apostasy.
However my relationship has proven to be positive to others and has made a change to enlighten and encourage others and set a positive example.
🙂 🙂 We love your pluralistic views.
Lets see what mac, Muhammed and Ahmad, consultants on this web site, have to say for your “fake” shahadah conversion for Nikaah.
Dear Bobby,asslam.I am a Muslim girl .can you give e mail id of your wife.I have to learn a lot from your Muslim wife.If so I will be very much thankful to you…..Khuda hafiz…..Jainab.India.
Jainab
Hi there. I am afraid my wife does not want to participate in this thread for her own reasons unfortunately.
However I am more than happy to help you with any information you need.
Based on some of the comments I have read about yourself it seems you have had some hard times in your life for which I am sorry.
However in relation to your circumstances I would suggest you marry whoever makes you happy as you will spend your whole life with this person.
In terms of changing your name and identity this is not necessary as you are a Muslim and you were born as one. If you are lucky enough to become a mother one day then your children should know who their mother is and where she came from.
It is your right to choose your path in life, both personal and religious, and not for others to force this onto you for their own selfish reasons.
Will your life be straightforward? No. But at least you will be with the person you love, as long as he loves and respects you will overcome all your challenges in life.