I m a Brahmin and married to a Muslim guy against my parents. He truly loves me and never asked me to convert into Muslim infact our son has been given a Hindu name with his title. His parents are also very nice and very supportive never asked me for conversion except sometimes my mother-in-law talks about this and also few relatives
I am afraid for my son only, though my husband says he will teach him both about Islam and Hinduism but his family is against it.
Cant my son follow the teachings which I had followed? Can’t he worship idols like we or Chant mantra?
P.S. I am proud of my husband and in laws except few relatives who are creating problems -Neha
neha says: October 31, 2016
Hi,
I can blindly trust my hub and can proudly say that he will never take a 180 degree turn he loves me and our son more than other stuffs and by those phrases I wanted to convey that though my husband wants to teach him about both the religion but in this case his parents are not so supportive. My question – ” Is there anything wrong if my son learns about both the religion??” Me and my husband have decided that it will be completely his choice which religion he will go with dats y we want to teach him about both the stuffs. -Neha
Neha says: January 14, 2017 at 8:09 am
Now my mother in law wants me (a Hindu) to learn how to offer namaz!!!!!!
Neha says: March 26, 2018 at 10:44 pm
I am happy with my husband. My son knows the name of Hindu god as well as Allah. -Neha
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Dear Muslim boys and girls, stay away from Hindu girls and boys. Marry within community and avoid post marriage issues. Also by compromising,(which you have to do for sake of marriage) you take out yourself from Islam partly and God knows when you will depart fully from Islam without Eve realising it.
The person you love now, you can find 10 more person like him/her. The world is vast. So don’t stick into college or office crushes
A good message to not get into interfaith relationship if you are truly religious.
Truth comes from yuor bad mouth piece. We need to stop this LoveJihad. All muslims from top to bottom are busy with convert the hindu girls (I agree these hindu girls are not religious and so they lured easily by muslim katwa)
I want to get separated but my husband wants more time to let his family understand about me andmy husbands thinking..
Get out! Stay at distance and love them. That way, you will have very long lasting good relationship with in-laws. You can always visit in-laws every week to make them understand. Actually that is more effective approach then living together and staying tense whole day. Go find a small cheap dirty apartment, you will be happy there rather than in this golden prison. Every married couple manages, why not you?
My mother in law is giving threat to my husband that if we will separate out she will commit suicide
We heard many MIL giving this threat but we do not know any MIL that has ever committed suicide. This is a trick parents play for their wish not to divorce from their “child.” They don’t realize that your husband is now already a grown “man.”
Neha, you have to think of your long-term plan. You married to your husband and not the MIL/husband. At some point, the MIL has to accept you two as married and independent couple. There is no way, you will be happy with this MIL dictating every step of your life; including what you can cook, if you could perform pooja, what you teach to your child, what you wear and when you sleep or wake-up. There is no way you and your MIL could be under one roof and be happy forever. More you try to stay together, more fights and animosities will happen. Actually you will love each other and respect each other more if you live under separate roofs and 5 miles away.
Your most difficult job is to convince your husband. Explain to your hubby that almost no today’s couple lives with MIL. Explain that your love for MIL will be more if you are at some distance. Assure him that you will always love and take care of the MIL, but the separation will help.
Neha, don’t worry, your MIL will not commit suicide because it’s a major sin to take one’s own life in Islam – and if she is religious, she would never do it. It’s just a technique to get you guys to stay with them. Make sure your husband also understands this – emotional blackmail must be hurting him too but I guess it’s harder for him to handle his mother when she says such things…
The important thing is to have a good relationship with everyone and try to make your in laws understand that what outsiders say (woh chaar log kya kahenge?) should NOT make your married life miserable…
maine yaha par bhut sare post padhe h
adhikansh……Hindu girls vs Muslim boy…
wiswash ni hota Hindu ladkiya itni chutiya hoti h….
padhe likhi ladki bhi samajh ni pati ki shadi aur bachhe Ho Jane ke bad ladkiyo ki badhyata Ho jati hai husband ka bat manne ki…
ap Muslim family me Hindu faith ka existence chahti hai…kaise???
ye to is tarah hai ki aap sagar me salty water ke sath sweet water bhi chahti h.
kya ye sambhav h???
neha ji and others please meri baton ko dil se ni lijiyega….neha ji maine apki problem padhi aur apki respect bhi karta hu….
apko sujhav dene ke liye mujhse bhi achhe jankar hai lekin fir bhi kuch kahna chahunga…..
apne bataya tha…
1.apne apke mata pita k against shadi ki..
2.apke in law apki family ko invite bhi karte h.
3. apke husband aur inlaws acche h
4.bas apke bacche ko lekar app pareshan h aur apki family me ap contact krte h to koi answer ni aata..
meri kuch bate….
1. apne jo kiya h usse har mata pita hurt hote hai aur apne baccho k sath waisa hi karte h. agar ap chate hai ki apki family (mata pita) support Ho to apko personal apne mata pita ke ghar jana chayiye apne baby ke sath,unse maffi mangni chahiye aur convice karna chahiye..apke in laws and husband acche h to unko isse problem ni hogi…
Ho sakta hai wo apko ek bar me maf na apko gali de ya aur kuch lekin fir bhi apko haar ni mankar aur apne ego, dignity , other else ko tyagkar bar bar jana chahiye …
mujhe ni pata apki age kya h…
lekin yad rakhiye ek maa (aap) jo apne 6 month k baby ke liye pareshan hai to wahi dusri maa (apki mom) ko apke faisle se kaisa laga hoga isliye wo yadi apko gali bhi De to bh jaye….
kyuki app jis situation me hai waha apko support ki jaturat padegi…
kyuki jaise2 samay age badhega to apko muskile hongi aur app ki situation sirisha jaise Ho jayegi agar ap akele rahi to…
last me yahi kahna chahunga ki…….
mere kahne ka galat matlb ni ligiyega…
aur kuch bhi karenge ya kahenge apni inlaws family me to pyar se samjhate hue apni bat rakhiyega….
i will pray to god, he may give you whatever you heartly want….
neha ji , admin ji & others meri baton ka bura laga Ho to please mujhe maaf kariyega…
Mr. Kris what do you mean by cheap Hindu girls??? Do you know the meaning of cheat. I am happy with my husband. My son knows the name of Hindu god as well as Allah. Cheap are your thinkings.you are living in 21st century with dinosaurs thinking. If you can’t help anybody then don’t try to create one with your useless comments.
Hi Neha, welcome back after a long time. Thanks for keeping in touch. Do share updates in your life and guidance to other young ones, thanks.
Hi Neha,
Did you contact to your brother, sister and parents? Did you separate from your husband as you said earlier? can u please tell us please.
This is because of the few illiterates who are try to show they have better knowledge of everything influencing my mother in law not to let me do job bla bla…
Neha,
We do not agree to your understanding on “because of the few illiterates,” actually your mother-in-law and those people have truly understood Islam. What they are talking about is truth; what your husband has done or following is not Islam.
Now, Neha, you have to make up your mind if you wish to (ultimately) submit to Islam or not. In your life, you may have looked at Rama and Krishna for guidance and get inspiration from their life; now you have to decide if their teachings (or life they followed) were wrong and what Muhammad did and told to the world is only truth and worth praising 5 times a day. We have given you assignment below, let us know when you have that answer.
About your husband, you once told us that “blindly trust my hub and can proudly say that he will never take a 180 degree turn,” now it is test time. Now you put him on the spot to find truth. Tell your husband to explain his mother not to tell you anything to do about Islam. If the mother-in-law has concern, she should directly talk to her son, not you. Your husband is the person promised you a rose garden, and let him be responsible to fulfill his obligation. The day he says that “my mother in illiterate and I am unable to explain her” or “You (Neha) directly deal with my mother,” you should know he is washing his hands off. That day, you have to understand that your husband is also amongst those “few illiterates”; we hope not!
Neha, please tell those illiterates that Khadija, Prophet Muhammad’s first wife, was 15 years elder to him and he used to work for her – she was his boss! That should shut up any aunty/relative trying to force your mother-in-law to prevent you from doing a job…
Your husband needs to support you against his sister and relatives – and your MIL might not be aware that her forcing you to read namaz is against the Qur’an – “there shall be no compusion in religion”! Quote this Quranic verse to her.
In order for you to be free from these problems, it looks like you and your husband need to move to a separate flat of your own. Many people in the Muslim society in India suffer under community pressure and that’s what is happening in your case – maintain good relations with your inlaws but kindly explain to them that you feel upset when they try to change you. If they are already open to you wearing sindoor etc. they must be understanding people who have accepted you as you are – just that now they are confused because of society’s pressure. Why can’t people mind their own business – this is the biggest problem with desi society!
And it would be great if your own parents became more involved in your life and saw their grandchild more often Have you tried to contact your mom and dad or other relatives recently??? If there’s a sympathetic relative or friend who knows your parents, maybe you can get them involved to play peacemaker and try to get you guys together to meet. It takes time for parents to accept your situation, a Muslim damaad must have been a big shock for them – I just hope the relations improve soon. You will feel happier and more complete once this problem is resolved.
Stay strong Neha, inshAllah God will help you through this! Bring your husband to this site if he needs advice, Admin and other commentators will offer their perspective to help you guys.
Thank u for the information it will be helpful. I am in contact with my brother only my brother and sister don’t have such issues but they are younger and therefore cannot talk to our parents relating our matter. My bro visits sometimes to see mme and my child.
Now my mother in law wants me to learn how to offer namaz!!!!!!
Neha,
You are dealing with Islam and is not a matter of taking it lightly. They will expect you to be a much better Muslim compared to many other Muslim girls in their family. They will want you to be 200% Muslim and 0.00% Hindu. Further, more you try to please them, more restrictions will be put on your shoulder. If you objective is to be a submissive wife and submissive to their all expectations, then you will survive. Did your parents taught you to be a puppet of someone? If not, sometime you have to raise your head that enough is enough. Move out of that house ASAP, at any expense.
Read this Koran (click here) and see if you are comfortable teaching it to your child.
Islam is all about Muhammad; you have to utter his praise every step of life. If you remove that Muhammad name, nothing is left! Let us give you a home work. Do a google search and get back to us for how many girls Muhammad married/Slept with? Further, Muhammad said: “Whoever changes his Islamic religion, then kill him.” (Bukhari 9.84.57). Is this logical and rational advise?
Tell us more about your new golden life.
maine yaha par bhut sare post padhe h
adhikansh……Hindu girls vs Muslim boy…
wiswash ni hota Hindu ladkiya itni chutiya hoti h….
padhe likhi ladki bhi samajh ni pati ki shadi aur bachhe Ho Jane ke bad ladkiyo ki badhyata Ho jati hai husband ka bat manne ki…
ap Muslim family me Hindu faith ka existence chahti hai…kaise???
ye to is tarah hai ki aap sagar me salty water ke sath sweet water bhi chahti h.
kya ye sambhav h???
neha ji and others please meri baton ko dil se ni lijiyega….neha ji maine apki problem padhi aur apki respect bhi karta hu….
apko sujhav dene ke liye mujhse bhi achhe jankar hai lekin fir bhi kuch kahna chahunga…..
apne bataya tha…
1.apne apke mata pita k against shadi ki..
2.apke in law apki family ko invite bhi karte h.
3. apke husband aur inlaws acche h
4.bas apke bacche ko lekar app pareshan h aur apki family me ap contact krte h to koi answer ni aata..
meri kuch bate….
1. apne jo kiya h usse har mata pita hurt hote hai aur apne baccho k sath waisa hi karte h. agar ap chate hai ki apki family (mata pita) support Ho to apko personal apne mata pita ke ghar jana chayiye apne baby ke sath,unse maffi mangni chahiye aur convice karna chahiye..apke in laws and husband acche h to unko isse problem ni hogi…
Ho sakta hai wo apko ek bar me maf na apko gali de ya aur kuch lekin fir bhi apko haar ni mankar aur apne ego, dignity , other else ko tyagkar bar bar jana chahiye …
mujhe ni pata apki age kya h…
lekin yad rakhiye ek maa (aap) jo apne 6 month k baby ke liye pareshan hai to wahi dusri maa (apki mom) ko apke faisle se kaisa laga hoga isliye wo yadi apko gali bhi De to bh jaye….
kyuki app jis situation me hai waha apko support ki jaturat padegi…
kyuki jaise2 samay age badhega to apko muskile hongi aur app ki situation sirisha jaise Ho jayegi agar ap akele rahi to…
last me yahi kahna chahunga ki…….
mere kahne ka galat matlb ni ligiyega…
aur kuch bhi karenge ya kahenge apni inlaws family me to pyar se samjhate hue apni bat rakhiyega….
i will pray to god, he may give you whatever you heartly want….
neha ji , admin ji & others meri baton ka bura laga Ho to please mujhe maaf kariyega…
yaad rakhiyega neha ji mata pita apne bachho se bhut pyar karte hai…..us pyar ko ab aap feel bi kr rhi hongi to…..
confident hoke aur vinamra Ho kar apne mata pita ke ghar jaye apko jarur support milega….
aur apna prayas jari rakhiyega…..
aur ek bat apne kaha tha ki apka bhai se baat hoti hai…
mujhe ye ni pata ki uski age kitni h lekin agar wo 17-18 years ka hai to apne mummy papa ke ghar jaye to use bhi sath Le jaye lekin use samjha dijiyega ki wo kewal sath rhe kuch kahe ni…
apka bhai sath hoga to apko ek support milega apni family ko face karne k liye….
ap aisa ni sochna ki wo chhota hai kyuki bahen ki khushi ke liye har bhai ko support krna hi padta hai…its duty of brothers to her sis…
agar wo 13-14 yrs ka hai to involve ni karna…
again if hurt from my words then forgive me……….
Neha,
Did you contact to your brother, sister and parents? Where are you staying now? what is your situation now?
Neha,
Do you wonder what your child will think of you 30 years down in his life? Well, the answer is very clear –no one knows. We wish to bring to your notice another post where Rahul’s Brahmin mother converted to Islam. May be you be interested in leaning Rahul’s view points on life and religions. Read more at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11786
One major difference between Rahul’s mother and Neha is … after meeting the Muslim guy, the Lion like Rahul’s mother decided to become completely submissive domestic wife. We pray that Neha will have strength to remain proud and independent minded working woman. Best wishes.
My child situation will not be like Rahul
Neha,
Lets address how to get connected with your Brahmin parents. It bothers us that they are acting totally irrationally. Tell us how can we make them change their old thinking?
I don’t know how to contact them will they receive my call or will they talk to me no idea what to do.
What will you lose even if your parents don’t respond to your call? On the other hand, how delighted you would be if they talk to you. It may lead to reconciliation and thus filling a void created by the past circumstances. Do your karma for the best and don’t be worried about the result. It can only be better than what it is right now. If you do nothing, the situation won’t improve.
Now, you have to choose what you like.
If you are willing, Iwith all humility, I may give it a try to break ice between you and your parents. In the past, I had did something to mitigate the pains of a girl abused by her circumstances in an interfaith relationship. It’s up to you and in no case it should be misconstrued as interference in somebody’s personal affairs. It’s just a wish to see the reunion of of parents and daughter and making them revisit their previous bond as far as possible.
How??”
If you wish to get connected, e-mail us at Interfaithshaadi@gmail.com
Contact Admin and he will facilitate.
Dear Neha,
So far so good in your wedded life. It could be a role model for those who intend an interfaith marriage. Only thing I would like to point out is save your so from the cruel practice of circumcision aka going under the knife aka musalmani. I bet you try to watch any circumcision video on utube. I have tried a few times but couldn’t see the intense pain the child undergoes for no reason. Moreover, Why deform a healthy body by removing some of the most sensitive nerve ends (and thus reducing the intensity of sexual pleasure) for no good reason. That’s why even the traditional western countries such as UK, Germany, France, Scandinavia, Canada, whole of Latin America have circumcision rates fallen from 90% in 1950 to 25% now! Only exception is USA where the rate has come down to 55%.You can do your own research. At present, less than 10% children belonging to non Muslim, non Jew go under the knife. The effects of circumcision remain on child’s subconscious mind throughout the life!
Anyway, I don’t need to preach to already a sensible woman. Just, I have brought it to the notice of a mom who won’t like to see the pain of her child as I cannot see to even other’s child.
May everybody lead a blissful life, full of knowledge and compassion.
My father in law is a doctor and he explained to me that circumcision will be only for scientific reason. It reduces infection rate and also prevents AIDs disease to a great extent now I am confused what to do.
Neha,
Very interesting that your father-in-law is a doctor. However that does not mean he knows all latest scientific facts and trends. As we told you before, do not get into any irrational fights but talk to him in very friendly terms about the need for circumcision.
Circumcision has some scientific value in people living in unhygienic condition, like in Africa. Japanese, who are living in good hygienic conditions, don’t circumcise their sons and there is no reported issues among Japanese. Your son will be raised in general hygienic condition and there is not going to be any merit by having circumcision. Further, if and when there is an issue for your son, tell your father in law that we will address the issue then. Why worry about something is not there.
On trend, more and more Europeans and Americans now opting for no circumcision. In the Western US, the rate of circumcision in newborns dropped in the last 32 years from 64% to 40%. Do you think Europeans and Americans are fools and don’t understand science?
We have read and written extensively on circumcision. As far we are concerned, circumcision is nothing more than superstition. Read what we wrote here. Any question?
Neha,
Read this Danish Doctors’ Group Wants to End Circumcision for Boys
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/08/world/europe/circumcision-boys-babies.html?_r=0
Now kareena Kapoor is also embracing Islam ####
Dear Neha,
We missed you and thinking about you. We care and are concerned about you. We hope you will keep in touch with us. How is your life rolling?
We searched for Kareena on the web and there is no valid information on Google, however let us know if you have valid information.
I won’t be surprised if Kareena converts to Islam in the company of Saif Ali Khan who has been working on her conversion for quite some time.
First symptom is she has started eating halal meat.
I am with my Muslim in laws from last 9 months till now haven’t touch meat, chicken nd beef is far away from the list.
Till now my life is going well my mother in law is also becoming a bit supportive but they are only afraid of ” wo char log kya kahenge“. What the outsiders will say.
Neha,
We see you like Gandhiji. One time people were believing in untouchability and he worked on it to educate people that all humans are God’s creating and be treated the same. Now we are counting on you, Neha, to teach the world that Hindus and Muslims are God’s creation and that Hindus (including Gandhiji) are not kafirs to go to Hell on the Judgment Day. Gandhiji did not gave up and hope you do the same against this injustice (conversion business).
On this web site, we have learned that most Muslims will not tolerate others, especially in married life. That image of Muslims must be changed and we need to show to the world that Muslims can also be tolerant to Hindus (even in married life). We hope and beg that you will NOT convert just for “wo char log cya kahenge.”
Tell your mother in law that dogs will always bark. Further, remove all wrong hope in her mind that one day you will convert by telling her you are a Hindu and will die as the same. Let people say what ever, now it is time to educate un logoko.
Ask your mother in law why you should convert. Tell us what she says and we will give you tips how to educate her. It is your Godly duty to educate your mother-in-law. Let us know what she says.
Kareen Kapoor and Dipika Kakkar (TV actress) and many are embraced Islam. Dont take example of these Low IQ actress, well they cant even answer to a silly question, they embraced due to money and power. Eventually film industries are fully occupied by muslims (Director, producer and actor) man. Very few Muslim actress you will find in this industry, so naturally these hindu actress are lured to muslim actor to get in touch in film industry. This is the truth.
In one sentence “I don’t believe in Allah I only believe in good karma. If I am a murderer and then I am follow all rules which a true Muslim does, will God send me to heaven”???
We understand what you are saying, and that–you are following a religion of humanity!
However, a Muslim or Christian may counter by saying, “after killing, repentance and now onward truly following Allah or Jesus is important. And in the end, Allah or Jesus will decide.” If we are sitting in front of Muslims and Christians (both), we ask, “who will come on the Judgment Day? Will that be Allah or Jesus with the Father God?”
Neha, a word of caution, it is okay if we talk these ways on this forum but you need to be careful how you present yourself in your Muslim home and community. You are a goat in lion’s cage, be careful. Do not make any such statement in front of other Muslims (other than your trusted husband). It will not help your cause and it could hurt you. Let us explain.
If someone say, “I don’t believe in Allah,” means that person is an atheist and unbeliever. Your relatives will have patience till they have hope that they will make you a “believing” Muslim, and the day they realize that this is never going to be possible, you will be treated the way Koran is recommending to treat unbelievers. Search on your own in Google for “Koran on unbelievers.”
Further, you should not say to them, “I don’t believe in Allah,” because it gives them pain. So do not hurt their feelings. Let them believe what ever and you (with your husband) keep believing what you wish to. Fair?
Neha, we are wondering if we are really helping you and providing useful information to better prepared for your life or trying to mislead you on a wrong path. Is it rational and logical for what we said to you (and others) on this site? In 2008, we wrote this Mission statement and have not deviated a bit from it. We consider you an intellectual and would love to hear your feedbacks for this site, thanks.
Basically I am sharing few of my life experience to make understand that conversion is not an option for a happy married life sometimes fake conversion can create big problems. Conversion also decides about a particular partner would in future he will remain same or just it would be other bloggers situation.
We agree 100% to “fake conversion can create big problems.”
On your point, “conversion is not an option for a happy married life” let us play a role of your father-in-law… FIL: “Nehabahu, above is not true as per God. Allah Himself said in the Koran 2:221 You shall not wed pagan women, unless they embrace the faith. A believing slave girl is better than an idolatress, though she may please you… 60:11 Do not maintain your marriage with unbelieving women … and 4:116 The biggest sin in islam is shirk (associating partners with Allah). And he who associates others with Allah has certainly gone far astray. Shirk is the greatest of all sins. Further, we want you to go to heaven (read). Happiness in THIS life is not important but you have to think of the AFTER life. For all these reasons, we want you to convert, please.”
Please plan to write a chapter for your book based on this discussion.
Then according to this question I would of said-
Abbu I am well matured and literate to decide my faith. Moreover y should I convert if I had to be Muslim I would have born in a Muslim family. I had said your son clearly that I had accepted him not his religion. If I am a Hindu I bow down my head whereever I see mandir or idols but for ur sake I convert also which I wont then its of no use because neither my profession will allow me to have that much of time to offer namaz five times a day nor I can wear that fully covered black gown nor my head will be covered every where and neither. I can avoid talk to my seniors who are men then what is the use of conversion if I can’t follow these thing? This will also be a type of fake conversion only and moreover though I respect every religion but I am happy in what I am.
And these lines are not for writing purposes from now onwards I have started to give these dialogues to my sister in law
Here Admin is paying a role of Neha’s Abu-
Nehabahu, God has told every thing clearly in the Koran. Are you saying Koran is not 100% truth? We hope not!
Understand that it is not THIS life important but important is the AFTER life. There will be a Judgment Day and in one hour Allah will decide who will go to heaven and hell (72:13). All idol-worshipper will certainly go to hell (4:56, 4:91, 22:19, 36:7, 44:43, 47:4, 60:4). You will certainly regret at that time. We understand you are immature to understand truth and are influenced by demons. We care for your wellbeing and are sternly warn you for the Judgment Day. Please read the Koran in Arabic, because people write wrong interpretations in English to defame Islam.
On “I am well matured and literate to decide my faith,” understand that there is only one truth and that is Islam (3:19). Christianity is based on falsehood that allah had a Son (19:34, 19:88, 5:70, 5:51). Hinduism has millions of Gods and that thinking is an unpardonable act (2:191, 2:193, 3:151). These are God’s own words, not someone wrote. Why would you not follow that God Himself said?
On “because neither my profession will allow me to have that much of time to offer namaz five times a day…” , do not be influenced by this temporary things in THIS life. Give up you job and follow Allah. We will be poor but in the end, we will have heavenly AFTER life.
On “I respect every religion,” understand that only Islam is a true religion and all others are false. All other faiths are influenced by devil and wrong doers, please read Koran (72:13, 47:22, 3:19). We hope Allah will guide you on a right path. -with love, your Abu.
Once my father in law asked me to learn Arabic and to teach my son also I just said 1 thing my son is an Indian and its my responsibility to teach him national language first and after that English which is mainly required then if time is left I would say my husband to teach him I don’t want any Arabi teacher in this home.
Good answer!
What is the objective of teaching Arabic over Sanskrit, Bengali, Gujarati, German and Mandarin? Are you wishing your son to be an imam or a professional with some speciality (IT, Engg., doctor)? Is the Arabic teacher going to teach a language or religion?
I will try to write a book..!!! If you would know the whole story then u will surely think that our love story should be published ?. Actually my in laws have a bit ego and also they are afraid of ” baki char log kya kehenge”. Whenever they talk about religion I to talk about Hindu dharam and try to explain them what’s its all about but it generally remains a gossip only.
You have already started writing your book on this post. Just built it. Truth must be told to the world, it will help millions of other Neha’s.
On “baki char log kya kehenge,” remind them that it is same for your Brahmin parents too! They are also human and living with pride. Why they are worried about “baki char log cya kehenge” and not what God will think. Is following God’s messages not important but what people gossips?
Instead of preaching about Dharma, you spend more time asking/listening about Islam; then you challenge them on a specific point. Start with idol-worshipping based on our this article… https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=1476. Why kaaba is any different than Ganesha murti? Why one is idol while the other Godly? God is in all directions (and in mandirs and churches), why pray only in the direction of Saudi Arabia? We have many other critical topic and will share more as we go along.
My son has a Hindu name with my husband’s title
You are bold! This is certainly a very unusual life experience that we have come across. Plan to write a book based on all these communication in year 2027. As we said before, you are writing history!
You told your husband very clearly your wishes. Did you do the same to your in-laws (meaning told them your son will be both, Hindu as well as Muslim)?
Come to think of it, how about making your in-laws happy too! Ask your husband to help you out. Your Muslim husband has learned true humanity and respect for all; why Allah will want him act any different way? Teach the same (that your husband learned) to his sister and parents. All you need to do is to first educate yourself for what are core reasons for religious conflicts in this world. Then take one point from it at a time and discuss rationally with in-laws. It may take a few years but in the end it will be a win-win for all. Any interest? If yes, we can help. Make a list of 5 issues that (you think) they have for you being a Hindu or issues why your son should not learn other than radicle Islam.
Yes though they don’t read namaaz except my father-in-law but then also they have problem they want my son to learn Arabic as soon as possible then there is a event called musalmani in his family every child had his musalmani above 4 years but in my son case they want it to do as fast as possible because they know after 2 years max we will settle to other place my husband is opposing this but they are not listening and as we both work we have to be outside keeping my son with my mother in law and she is against keeping any aaya she does a single thing of my baby. We are afraid only of one thing if in our absence they give musalmani then what should we do
What is this musalmani? Is that circumcision? If yes, read https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=460. Circumcison is done for superstitious reason, not science.
We assume your son has an arabic name, not a Bhartiya name.
It is like a war, erasing all your Brahmin culture and heritage and impose all Islamic things as much as possible. This is the way Islam is being spread all over the world. Probably your husband is bombarded by all relatives and religious leaders to become more radicle Islamic and shut you off. At every opportunity, they will be making your son Islamic and even more Islamic than most other Muslim children in the neighborhood. Being in that house-hold, it is only so much you can fight.
Your stupid Brahmin parents don’t want to even invite you and thus missing all opportunity to give their culture to your son. Well, keep up your struggle to fight for justice.
As a mother, you can do a lot to educate a son, but right now your son is too young and with mother-in-law for most time. Things will be different when he is about 5 years old where you could teach him humanity and life value rather than religious fanatism.
One other point, control your own earned money. Do not hand over all your salary to family, but instead invest or spend your own money. If in-laws need your money, they have to ask you. Be money smart!
Neha, you are young and should be enjoying life and your son to fullest. Instead, you are caught in this religions war with your hands tight and mouth shut. You live in so called free country but you do not have any freedom of expression. Well, do not loose your courage. Ultimately you will win. If you are committed, you can undo all those intolerant teachings and install the values you wish to later in life (read Madiha).
We hope our communication is of value to you.
We have done these things but my parents have refused to take my son, infact they haven’t seen him. My in laws also supported me to contact to my parents they had invited them once to solve this issue but they refused to do so. ????????
Neha,
We understand if you are going through tremendous pain due to all these issues. However, we can see you are a strong lady. Nothing will be solved overnight, but plan to solve all these issues in a few years (5 years?). We are not here to add pain to what you are already going through, but we wish to give your marriage a strong foundation. Your husband is a wonderful man, and it is your duty to keep him the same way. We are preparing you for it. We are educating you for point you may have missed.
This is so stupid of your parents. These parents act like a child; their ego is hurt and will not talk to you. Actually they should be very close to you and help you out in your most difficult times; instead they are making your life hard. They are pushing you to go the other side, exactly opposite than they should be doing. We hope there is some influential person in your community who could talk them out. Let them be like a child, but you continue to pursue your efforts; they will ultimately come around.
If we look from parents’ perspective, it is not a stupid act of disowning the child. For a Brahmin parents to have their Brahmin daughter marry a Muslim is an ultimate insult. It is most disgraceful and shameful in their society. This is because of past 1200 years of Indian history where Muslims never (rarely) tolerated a Hindu in a Muslim home, and vice versa. For some Muslims, it is a matter of price to convert a Brahmin, never vice versa. Considering the utmost pain of patents, you may have to have patience for many years to come. May be someday, we will talk to them!
Well, Neha, you are writing a new history by being a proud Brahmin in a Muslim home. Keep in touch with us for how it goes. Best wishes.
Since we are offering you all options, we should also ask you: would you consider to become Muslim (100%, 0% Hindu)? This will solve all your problems with in-laws. Well, that also mean you will have an Islamic son. It worked for another Brahmin girl Sirisha (now Zara), read https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11650 and let us know your thoughts.
Before marriage I said my husband I have born Hindu and will die remaining Hindu he has accepted this condition and den we have moved on together so there is no option to convert myself
Superb! Other lovers should learn and not confused their partner, and give a very stern and clear message, “I have born Hindu and will die remaining Hindu.” Take it or leave it. Let the rose be rose and carnation be carnation.
We would also add to it, like Barack Obama did, the children will be raised in two faiths (50%-50%). If a mother carry a baby for 9 months, she deserves to give at least 50% of her faith. Compared to that, the father, while having fun, share some sperms, and should be happy with 50% of his faith passing to the child. Those were old days were male dominant society expected religion of only father. Those days are over now (we hope!).
Yes I promised my husband I will teach him both the faiths 50-50 and wont do partiality that I am a mother and i will teach only Hindu religion this is not fair therefore I should expose my son to both the faiths
Superb, you are on track. Then what is the problem his parents and sister have teaching both? Are they scared that Islam will not fare well if taught side by side with Hinduism? Lets your son be the judge based on merits of two faiths.
This is my husband’s question” which religion should my son follow” and why”???
What is his suggestion?
If you ask us, we will say follow the religion of humanity. Barack Obama had a Muslim father and Christian mother, and was exposed to both faiths. As an adult, he decided his faith. Let your son decide as an adult. Teach him both faiths and let him pick which one of two work for him. What do you think of this option?
Thanks for the suggestion. We both are thinking this only but more then his parents his sister and few relatives are creating problems
what to do in this case
Neha,
What will you teach to your son is a major important point. We are not talking about when he is 18 years old and start teaching, but we are asking you what you taught him today about who is Isvar and Allah, what is Hinduism and what is Islam. Diwali just passed by, did you let him experience the festival or you decided to keep him blind from Hindu festivals.
This is Koran (read). One interpretation is what your husband has learned. The other is what Zakir Niak is teaching to your son. His parents and all relatives may want to teach your son an exclusivist supremacist intolerant (to Hindu) type Islam, are you going to watch or also teach him your husband’s version of Islam?
Mac’s mother was also Brahmin (read here). Is it okay if your son be like mac? Can you be in Dee‘s situation one day? We are not saying one it is good or bad, or that Koran or Geeta’s teachings are good or bad, but you have to decide it now what you want to teach to your child.
Do not make any rush decision but slowly and slowly read all that is written on this web site to educate yourself.
Are you working outside home? Are you financially stable and independent? Can you parents help out? If you have to move out of this house, it that possible?
You mentioned once that you are “blindly in love” with your husband. Now you have to be “with both eyes and both ears wide open, and love with him.” Do not feel overwhelm with this huge task, but keep in touch with us right here.
My son has celebrated Diwali but in absence of my in-laws and I am finding way out to contact my parents and though we both are financially independent but our son is very small just completed 6 months and therefore we could not take any hush-rush decision.
Agree, no reason to rush to educate your son but that is something should be an on-going process.
You are lucky your husband is a progressive thinker and you both are earning.
Try to reconnect to your parents using your son; when they will see their grandson, they will melt (not by seeing you, sorry!). When you meet them, give your son in their hands and walk away with some excuse, like you have to go to bathroom. Openly say you are very very sorry for your mistakes, now you are realizing it. Do not try to defend your acts. Do not take your husband now. It will take a year to accept both of you. Use one of your good relatives (sister? brother?) as a middle person. Give parents a surprise by your visit! while there, purposefully forget/leave some son’s cloth or blanket at parents. Walk away in 15 min with sweet memories the first time. Do you think if this will work?
Yes my husband believes in koran doesn’t perform namaaz five times a day but he makes sure to attend juma namaaz and also the festive namaaz (I.e, namaaz on Eid kurbani etc). He believes in the judgement day and there for he says to do good karma baki sab wo dekh legs , he doesn’t believe other caste to be kafirs he thinks everyone has there own aspect to worship and yes he is proud of himself to be a muslim. When we were living separately I used to perform puja or worship god every morning and he never complaint about this habit of mine but now for the time being we are living with his parents and therefore for the time being I have stopped to worship god as his parents do not like this but he ensure me that when we will take our flat he will again allow me to continue my habits and adjustment is in every family that’s y I am adjuting with mine habits
You can always do behind closed doors or when at your parents home. How abut teachings to your child?
My parents have not accepted me yet ???? ☹
This is the major mistake all Hindu parents make. This is VERY sad on their part. This is totally stupid of them to act like this. Instead of supporting you and helping you out, they are pushing you to leave Hinduism and accept the other faith. This has been going on for thousands of years and benefiting the other faiths, and hope your parents understand that. Don’t worry, at least we will guide you here to the best we can right here. You have not done any thing wrong, and you have right to be a proud Hindu and a wife of a Muslim.
By the way, do not ever plan for a second child.
Yes my husband believes in koran doesn’t perform namaaz five times a day but he makes sure to attend juma namaaz and also the festive namaaz (I.e, namaaz on Eid kurbani etc). He believes in the judgement day and there for he says to do good karma baki sab wo dekh legs , he doesn’t believe other caste to be kafirs he thinks everyone has there own aspect to worship and yes he is proud of himself to be a muslim
We know many Muslims like your husband. We do not see any threat associating with such people. However you need to make sure he does not get brainwashed by Zakir Naik and you be like in this situation … https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=335
Hi Neha,
We are very happy that you are enjoying Hindu-Muslim marriage with equality. That is our dream come true. We will work with you for how to reply to your relatives and make sure your husband don’t take a 180 degree turn in the future. We will work with you right here step wise. We have consulted some 700 cases of Hindu-Muslim relationships and probably most experienced compared to what you can find any other place. Stay tuned.
To start with, first we are not sure what you are trying to say by “but I am afraid for my son only though my husband says he will. Teach him both about Islam and Hinduism but his family is against it cant my son follow the teachings which I had followed can’t he worship idols like we. Chant mantra.” Have we understood correctly above? We do not want to put words in your mouth, so please correct us ASAP.
Hi,
I can blindly trust my hub and can proudly say that he will never take a 180 degree turn he loves me and our son more than other stuffs and by those phrases I wanted to convey that though my husband wants to teach him about both the religion but in this case his parents are not so supportive. My question – ” Is there anything wrong if my son learns about both the religion??” Me and my husband have decided that it will be completely his choice which religion he will go with dats y we want to teach him about both the stuffs.
Hi Neha,
Thank you for getting back. Please write down this URL (https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11644) and update us when there is any major event in your life.
On your question, “Is there anything wrong if my son learns about both the religion??” … NO, there is nothing wrong teaching or following 0, 1, 2 or 20 religion(s). What you teach to your son is your (father and mother) choice. There is no law against it, except (sadly) in certain Islamic countries.
To your question, “Can’t he worship idols?” Again, it is the parents to decide. Neha, can you clarify what “idols” means? If a Muslim performs namaz to that black cube building called Kaaba, is that Kaaba idol? If Muslims praise Muhammad several times a day, is that idol worshipping to some human being? Every religion uses something to help focus on God, but that does mean all tools are idols. Muslims have kaaba, Hindus and Jains use murtis, Sikhs use the Guru Granth Sahib, Christians use cross and Jews use a Jerusalem Wall. To make that point, Hindus have Ganesh Visharjan (departure) ceremony where they drop Ganesh murti in ocean to show that it is not that murti important but reverence for God is important. It is not that object, but their objective (to pray to God) is important. Thus, either no one is praying to idol or all religions have idols. Thus, in this idol argument, Islam and Hinduism are the same. Does this above message make any sense to you?
Let us know if your husband …
performs namaz 5 times/day?
Does he believe in the Judgment Day?
Does he believe Koran is 100% truth?
Does he believe Hindus are kafirs and all Hindus and Christians going to go to hell?
Does he consider himself a true Muslim?
Lets talk more soon, thanks.
One very important thing till now my title is same as per my parents infact my title is also nor changed neither additional something is added.
Neha, how did you got married? Court, Nikaah and/or a Hindu wedding???
Court marriage
P.S I WEAR SINDUR
Court marriage is good since talaak and polygamy does not apply to your marriage, smart!
Sindur! Wow, his parents must be open-minded.
Actually in his family among the girls as well as boys I m highly educated and financially independent
How about him? Is he also equally educated and financially stable?