Section 5.25: Gujarati UK Muslim in Love with a Hindu

Section 5.25: Gujarati UK Muslim in Love with a Hindu

In most interfaith relationships, there are issues relating to different faiths and cultures. Here, Noreen and her boyfriend have the same culture but different religions. Let’s see what she has to say.

Noreen says:

I am an Indian Muslim living in the UK, and I am in love with a Hindu boy. He is also from the UK. I have known him for about 5 years. Everything is perfect between him and me, the language (Gujarati) is the same, our families are very similar and we make each other very happy. I have not found this type of relationship with a Muslim boy, and I truly am deeply in love with this Hindu boy. We both do want a future together. We both respect our own religions, and we both want to keep our own. I would not expect him to convert, nor will I convert either.

My family found out about him last year (we were seen together), and they are not happy and they are not allowing me to see him ever again. My mother was unhappy with me that I was seen with a guy from a different religion. This may have been because I am still young and so they do not want me making any mistakes. Behind their back I have been seeing this Hindu boy, and recently, his family found out (we were seen together, again). They are not happy with him at all, and he thinks they (Hindus) will never accept me because of this religion barrier.

I don’t know what to do, because we are both deeply in love with each other and can see a future. It is just that our families will not accept. I know that it is more important that his family accepts me because I will be going into his family and living with them (as much as I would want my family to accept), how can I get them to accept me?

I am thinking of trying to meet them and maybe let them get to know me? I am unsure of what to do, because I do not want this relationship to end. He is a big part of my life now. I really can’t live without him!

I would appreciate any advice and help on this. Thank you. —Noreen

Admin says:

Noreen,

You and your boyfriend’s families have the same common ancestors, speak the same Gujarati language, eat the same delicious Gujarati food (with extra sugar!), drink water from the same river, go to the same schools and colleges, breathe the same dusty air, get baked in the same hot sun, and what not. Then why there should be any differences between you two? Well, the difference is religion.

Do not go to his parents yet and try to convince them of anything, because you yourself don’t know who you are. Have you read the Koran? What does Islam means to you? If you say you are a proud Muslim believing in Mohammad, then are you going to have Islamic nikaah and ask your Hindu boyfriend to fake-convert to Islam by shahadah? If not, it is anti-Islamic to marry or to tolerate a Hindu as a husband.

If you feel strongly that you want to practice Islam, with its religious ceremonies and customs, give your Muslim parents time to find a potential husband who is educated and can provide a good future for you. Date him and see if he will treat you with dignity and respect for life. If you do find a Muslim man like that, strongly consider him; it may be better for you in the long run to remain within your religion. If your parents can’t find a suitable match for you, then resume your relationship to your Hindu boyfriend (assuming he accepts this brief exploration).

If you are in UK, then wait till you are financially independent. If you do decide to get married, rent a flat and plan to live there separate from parents. Keep in touch with both sets of parents and love them. It may take several years of married life to win their trust, but it will happen.

The bottom line is, educate yourself, decide who you are, decide what is the rational thing to do, be financially independent, get married without conversion, triple love both sets of parents, have patience and ultimately you will win. You will feel joyous to see two former enemy families are now hugging each other and loving each other; that is a Godly work! —Admin

Noreen says:

Hi Admin,

Thank you for your reply!

I know for sure I really want to spend the rest of my life with him. I am aware I am young, however, his family now knows about me and so I need to act fast. They are not happy that I am Muslim. I haven’t yet told him that I would like to meet his parents. I feel I should as this can give them a chance to get to know me and see that I am very serious about him, and that I would like to spend my future with him.

Marriage wise, I am not sure how it would take place, me being Muslim and him still being Hindu. As you were saying he couldn’t be part of the nikaah if he is still Hindu, so I am not sure how a marriage ritual can take place between us. This would be in years to come once he and I are financially stable, but I do wonder how the marriage can take place in the UK.

He does feel his parents may not accept, and that is why I feel I should introduce myself to them because he is getting a very hard time at home from them too. I know my parents may not accept either, and that I would risk losing my whole family, which is a very huge step for me. I really want to be happy, and that is with him, but I know there would need to be big sacrifices for that to happen. —Noreen