Maya says: March 19, 2017 at 4:59 am
hi i love a muslim boy he is too good person with loving heart. he come with me and my family to temples our pujas. he wants to marry me anxiously.. we both are from middle class family. i dont want to convert. and he said me that dont convert. i want you as ur.
but his parents wants me to convert. he is insisting me to say to his parents lie that I will changed to Islam. but we both only are life partners. i suport you. just for his parents happiness u say them lie. is it right?. i am confused. please help me. —
Admin says:
Hi Maya, We have changed your name for your privacy, we hope that is okay with you.
Your boy friend is doing marketing (good person, loving heart, he come …to temples pujas, dont convert, i want you as ur). This is called Taqiyya (lies and deceptions allowed in Islam) to lure you into Islam. On our web site less that 1% (out of some 800) of Muslims married to non-Muslim with equality of two faiths. Your chance of not converting to Islam is as hard as climbing Mount Everest. After conversion, you will see a total different life (good person only if you be 100% Muslim, loving heart with conditions, a Muslim cannot enter temple, puja is idol-worshipping and sin, MUST convert, i want you as Muslim bibi).
As per Indian laws, if you had Nikaah, conversion comes with talaak and polygamy as legal rights of a Muslim husband. For this reason, only mantra you have to sing is “I will die as a Hindu and my children will be 50% Hindu” and he will walk away.
Don’t make lies and deception a foundation of your married life. He wants you to lie to his parents because he badly wants to take you to bed (read SD); but has no guts to defend you against his parents. How can you trust a guy who is teaching you to lie? Pathetic! Think how many more lies he is saving to that you will find out after your marriage and moving with his parents?
We bet he told you to keep all these discussion secret, especially from your parents. This is because it is easy to brainwash you to convert when you are love-blind. Unfortunately for him, now you came to us!
Maya, no one knows you and which corner of the world you are from. Thus feel free to express yourself on this web site. More you talk, more you will learn from others. It was your life saving move to reach out to us.
You already read this post “No Hindu girl can spend her life with a Muslim boy,” and that is very much truth that we have seen on this site over past 8 years. Have no doubts, unless you wish to convert to Islam (and be 0% Hindu).
We are waiting to hear from you. Best wishes. –Admin
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Interfaith Marriage: Share and Respect with Equality
Hanah, we as Muslims need to clean up our own house first – meaning we need to clean up the insanity going on in the Muslim world right now. So I do agree with you on that. I say this on a regular basis.
Saudi Arabia is responsible for a lot of that venomous ideology, as you rightly mentioned… but going back to our earlier discussions on this forum, does Saudi represent Islam? totally agree !!
Hi… 🙂
I was in a relationship with a muslim guy for 4 years. At the beginning he was very nice and supportive. But later on, he came in touch with a few muslim priest and i don’t know what happened to him he started asking me to get convert to islam before marriage.
He asked me to get convert only for 5 mins before marriage, but i am not that dumb to not understand that whether it’s for 1 sec or 1 hour, if i get convert, i will go out my religion.
Earlier he was Okay with everything but later on he refused to follow anything related to my faith.
I tried hard to save the relationship but i couldn’t. We had a lot of quarrel. I was ready to adjust on 2-3 things but he was not.
And i just had one thought in my mind that ” A guy cannot be more important than my GOD/religion” And ya i left him.
It was not an easy decision for me but i had to take this decision.
If he can break his promise of keeping me as a hindu after 3.5 years of relationship, why cannot I break my promise of not to leave him?
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and after 2 years of our break up, i got into relationship with a guy from my own religion and caste. And i am happy with him.
I loved him (muslim guy) truely but i had no independence when i was with him but this guy today i am with, he respect my feelings and i feel more independent with him today.
Reply at https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=12681
Make your parents proud by doing this.. They looked after u since u were a baby. Now u shame them well enough. That’s what u want. Right? To make them see u im a burkha or hijab. Call their grandchildren with a Muslim name. Hatsoff
If this was the reverse case, where a Muslim girl had a Hindu boyfriend and he was asking her to do the same (lie to his parents about her being a Muslim, or “fake-convert”ing or pretending to convert in front of them to Hinduism to please them), then you wouldn’t have a problem, would you? Anything to make people – especially girls – leave Islam…
Many people in this forum have this hypocrisy when it comes to Islam versus other religions where they encourage Muslim women to leave Islam, because it will liberate them, and adopt their boyfriend/spouse’s Hindu/Sikh/Jain culture and religion, but when it comes to a Hindu female with a Muslim male who may be interesting in exploring the religion of her partner, or even when she suggests marrying him under Special marriage act, without any conversion, some Hindu males here are so insulted by this, calling her a “shame to her parents”, a traitor, and all sorts of names – God, no! It’s a disaster, shame on the entire Hindu nation, she must be a victim of his taqiyya, his love-jihad etc etc…
No surprise that often Muslim males and Christian males (religious ones at least) also feel the same way when a girl marries outside of their community – this is a normal possessive reaction I guess…
Let’s not be hypocrites here, and have double standards on the two inverse cases I mentioned above. I applaud Admin for his consistency on being against fake-conversion – and I really hope that he would ALSO be against fake conversion if it was a Muslim woman writing him for advice if her Hindu boyfriend suggested that she “pretend to be a Hindu” for his Hindu family – but I hope he and others do not portray an anti-Islam bias when advising youths in love.
Muslim families in India are, on average, more conservative than those I grew up with or here in the West, so many of the advices given by admin are drawing from real-life stories and facts from this forum. I have no problem with that. That’s good advice, if it’s drawing from experiences of real people on the forum & helpful to others.
But don’t give advice based on rhetoric, give advice based on facts, Aditya. Do you know any girl in maya’ s situation? How is your comment shaming her and rebuking her for being in love with a Muslim supposed to be helpful??
It’s important to give advice as per the individual’s circumstances, after knowing facts about their boyfriend/girlfriend and his or her family background, then it will be advice without any hidden agenda or bias – we all have a bias, which is normal as it’s human nature. But try to be constructive… all you people are doing is judge and that’s just not helping.
Being a Muslim myself, I still advised Maya against lying to her Muslim boyfriend’s parents because it’s the wrong thing to do & she should not live a life of lying to her in-laws. No girl/boy should. Similarly, admin & I have recently talked a very emotional Hindu girl out of being with a Kashmiri Muslim man she deeply loves, who has been leading her on and probably using her too… with no promise of a serious future (like marriage) together. I could have encouraged her to stay with him, to learn abt Islam and become Muslim, etc etc (you will see some people do this type of religious activism on the forum, I try to limit my comments to clarifying misconceptions about Islam because there are too many ignorant/misinformed people out there who confuse culture with religion or have bogus idiotic information abt Islam) but I believe every man and woman should be given the rational, logical advice that applies to their specific situation.
This is not a platform to proselytize people, or to shame them; the forum’s goal is to educate and share interfaith marriage experiences and as a contributor to the forum, I also try my best to give as objective and rational advice as possible without putting my personal/Muslim bias into the equation.
It’s up to Maya and her boyfriend to work it out, she decides is her own decision in the end.. but she also should stand for what she believes in.. I would say the exact same thing if her Muslim boyfriend was pressuring her to convert to Islam, because that’s also wrong.
Is falling in love with someone outside your culture/religion “shaming your parents”? What if her boyfriend is a good person and will give her & her parents respect that some people from her own religion/ community wouldn’t give? It’s very sad to see your communal attitude – we should evaluate individuals on their personality, not judging them based on their entire community… and not all Muslims, even in your very conservative India, would put their spouse in a burkha or hijab. I know this from experience with Indian muslims. Hindu families have opression of their own, every community is plagued with their own unique problems… in a Hindu family, if she got unlucky, this oppression would be other forms of things such as dowry-harassment, abuse by MIL and many other things you must already know
Rabia,
There wont be an issue to convert or follow ISLAM if this religion meant for human being. You being a Muslim (and married to a Hindu), tell me which religion is soften with respect to human being?
As per my knowledge, ISLAM is a strict religion with many error.
If there are 30% or more muslim population in India, I can bet you that no Hindu will live peacefully.
Please tell me why so many mulsim countries are terror and liability to whole world.
comment please
Dear Dilip bro,
for your kind information Islam is not a strict religion nor it contains any errors in that..I follow your messages all the time but I couldn’t reply you because of not getting any time…
any way before judging Islam kindly know the knowledge before you talk
Dillip,
The issue of terrorism is very complex and i have already commented on this issue a few times on this forum. I honestly don’t have the energy to type all that again, but the short story is that there are a lot of international actors (some governments and other interest groups) behind some of those terror groups, and some of them get formed and self-radicalized as a reaction to what they see as evil western intervention in their countries. If you are truly interested in learning more about terrorism , and how it does or does not relate to Islam, we can discuss this privately…
But I know what your true intentions are – you have absolutely no interest in getting a reply real answer from me.
You have made up your mind about Islam and Muslims already so what can I say to you, bhai? Whatever I say won’t change your mind anyway… why bother? Sad to see you never bothered to pick up a book and instead get your Information from media and probably Hindu nationalists…
Rabia,
//there are a lot of international actors (some governments and other interest groups) behind some of those terror groups, and some of them get formed and self-radicalized as a reaction to what they see as evil western intervention in their countries.//
The stand absolves Islam of other devastating ills: Stoneage era misogyny, one-sided proselytizing, blasphemy & apostasy laws, vile hatred towards nonbelievers & other sects…..
Saudi Arabia is directly responsible for the venomous version it has propagated… do not balance it with ‘Western nations intervention’− West might be selling the weapons but who is selling the cult-loaded philosophy?
Hanah, we as Muslims need to clean up our own house first – meaning we need to clean up the insanity going on in the Muslim world right now. So I do agree with you on that. I say this on a regular basis.
Saudi Arabia is responsible for a lot of that venomous ideology, as you rightly mentioned… but going back to our earlier discussions on this forum, does Saudi represent Islam? Do you as a Muslim practice/believe in the Wahhabi version?
The answer is no, as we both know.
Dilip’s question was very clearly asking why Muslims are causing terror in the world right now. What’s your answer to this, Hanah?
Very few Muslims I know – even amongst the conservative ones- take Saudi Arabia seriously when it comes to their version of Islam; Wahhabism.
Moreover, the west isn’t just selling weapons; they are doing a lot more than that. If you read a little history and follow news and analysis, you will realize those geopolitical games in detail. If only it was as “innocent” as just selling weapons.
Rabia,
//Very few Muslims I know – even amongst the conservative ones- take Saudi Arabia seriously when it comes to their version of Islam; Wahhabism.//
I can just conclude that being a Europe-bred Muslim, you’re either too naive to understand the ground reality or an escapist, who does not want to face the brutal truth!
For God’s sake, open your eyes: Saudi IS Islam; Saudi is pouring billions of petrodollars to propagate the venom. Today, Islamic nations are in shambles solely because of Saudi’s role and its doctrine.
//Dilip’s question was very clearly asking why Muslims are causing terror in the world right now. What’s your answer to this, Hanah?//
Saudi has indoctrinated Muslims with cancerous philosophy and has set the world ablaze.
From our earlier discussion:
/“Just don’t forget to include the role of colonialism and foreign interference & projects”/
Usual victimhood song of foreign interference and colonialism:
Osama is a direct product of CIA, agreed! But the creators knew that Muslims can be made to indulge in barbarism in the name of faith. Kashmiri Pandits, Pakistani Hindus, Sikhs and Christians, minorities of the entire Islamic world are persecuted and brutalized– can any power in this world groom them to be terrorists and that too holding their own faith banner as a boost?
https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=12127
//Moreover, the west isn’t just selling weapons; they are doing a lot more than that. If you read a little history and follow news and analysis, you will realize those geopolitical games in detail. If only it was as “innocent” as just selling weapons.//
West also plays geopolitical games in non-Muslim nations including India. Why all these nations are peaceful while only the entire Islamic bloc is a hellhole?
Rabia and Hanah,
On “we as Muslims need to clean up our own house first” …
We wrote in our book, “It is notable that refugees and immigrant Muslims in Christian majority nations demand religious equality but most Muslim majority nations have created laws to marginalize Christians and non-Muslim minorities.” This is not limited to only Saudi but applicable to almost all Muslim majority countries. Now even Turkey is going that direction.
What Saudis are doing is clear but we see most today’s Muslim not much different than Saudi when comes to interfaith marriage. On this web site, each and every Muslim will want to convert their Hindu intended spouse (including Rabia did). Is this not time to stop such supremacist exclusivist ideology? We hope people will learn to accept the other party the way they found them and stop this conversion (read our book).
Maya you should not believe this guy.
Maya, stay away from lies, especially about something as serious as converting to a religion and lying all your life to your inlaws. One day or another they will find out the truth, which may force you to get a divorce if your now-boyfriend gives you an ultimatum – convert or divorce! What’s the guarantee he won’t do this one day?
There are people who intermarry and do nikkah & church wedding & Hindu wedding – and during these weddings sometimes the spouses “convert” for the ceremony, but don’t really convert in real life. As long as everyone in both families sees it as a formality, it’s ok. But your case is totally different!
If you agree to this wish of your boyfriend now, you will live a lie for the rest of your life – can you pretend to be muslim every time you see your in-laws? It’s a bad idea and your boyfriend should understand this too – maybe he is too in love and doesn’t see the future problems in this lying scenario.
I think you should listen to admin and “Don’t make lies and deception a foundation of your married life.”
I had never heard of this term “taqiyya” until a few years ago and none of my Muslim friends – not even the most conservatives muslims – know what this means so I want to assume the best about your friend and maybe it is possible he genuinely likes you but wants you to lie because it’s the easiest way to marry you and to get his parents to accept you (since they won’t accept anyone not Muslim)
Whatever the deal is, it is still wrong to do what he says. Make him see reason about how this is bad for your future and you cannot live in lies. Either he defends you to be accepted as you are, or…. ta-ta bye-bye kardo baby ab tum apne boyfriend ko!