Maya says: January 15, 2017 at 11:34 pm
Hi,
I’m facing similar issue. I’m a hindhu and married my childhood friend who is Christian under special marriage act (civil marriage) so that we both follow respective religions ..Both the families were against the wedding however finally convinced and got married under special marriage act, however my husband changed once we got married. Whenever I used to talk about kids, he used to say no kids until I convert.. this has always been a issue with us.. because of which we did not plan for kids at all, but god has different plans.. I delivered a girl last Aug .. and the same issue is cropped up from the time I conceived.
He mentally tortured me so much during my pregnancy. He asked me to abort the baby or give divorce to him if I don’t convert.
I was very firm at my stand that I will not convert at any point, however OK for the baby to follow his religion and let me live my life. He became calm and behaved very nice till the baby’s delivery. Things are back now, our baby is 5 months and he is behind my life for conversion stating he can’t name baby in church until both parents are Christian…I don’t want to convert, is there anyway for the baby to be named in church without mother? Fyi he is a protestant.
Admin says:
What kind of barbaric religion is he following? This is not the Christianity that we learned of. There is nothing he is doing that Jesus taught us. If this is his definition of Christianity (abort or divorce), there is one more good reason for you not to convert to his cultish faith and belief.
This is the guy who was once in love and, probably, you two were willing to die for each other. All these love now disappeared just for some ritual!
If Christianity and church were so important, why did he marry to you the first place? This is very sad that he tortured you during your pregnancy and asked you to abort his own baby just because you are a Hindu.
Why you cannot name baby out side the church? Go find another church. Why some ritual is more important compared to loving each other and loving the baby? These churches are so rigid and out dated but your husband wishes to please them, why? This blows our mind, unbelievable! Shame on this Protestant church and shame on all moderate Christians who do not come in support to save your marriage.
We have changed your name for your privacy. –admin
Maya says:
I have this doubt that he is tracking my phone calls and messages, also what I do at home..Yesterday I had played few religious music while I was at home alone because I was depressed .. he comes home at night and says something says tht you have either played religious music through phone or TV to baby.. dint we agree tht baby will follow only christainity.. I was dumbstruck, but I still told him I dint do it..
just couple of days back I thought OK let’s give up, after all I love my husband .. he is only one who is gonna be with me till end.. I thought of converting for his and daughters sake with clear condition saying tht I will follow both religion, but after now he doing this, all those things for which I thought of forgiving him came back.
I spoke to him couple of days mentioning I’m OK to convert since I love him and will follow both religion, but with a clear condition saying I will keep statues at home, go to temples and will visit my parents with baby for all functions and festivals.. he agreed for everything expect keeping statues at home and informed me tht my parents or me should never influence the child with Hindu Religion
I have lost complete trust on him and from yesterday feel like giving up the relationship. I’m financially stable and can take care of my daughter, but I’m still holding on to it because of my daughter. I want her to enjoy love from both mother and father..
His mother also came out of troubled marriage with both his sons while they were in school.i thought from his mothers experience he will think to be great husband to me and father to our daughter, but no I guess he is just like his father. He never understood and will understand e importance of father for a child
He hurt his mother so bad for my sake during our marriage, which I kept telling was wrong and now he is hurting for daughters sake and Tomo my daughter’s future is at stake. The best part he himself told his once tht ” For you I hurt my mother, now for my daughter I’m hurting you and I pray tht future I don’t hurt her”…
He links everything to conversion, like for eg: let’s start saving now tht we have a baby and his response what’s the point in saving if you don’t convert.
Let’s buy a house – I will not do it for you bcos you didn’t convert
Let’s ask your mother to stay with us – no not required bcos you did not convert
I’m tired of him and his religion. he is good otherwise, but conversion topic alone is enough for me to go depressed and think of all negative thoughts.
Usually after marriage girls will have difficult time because of in law, but in my case family is great. My MIL has never spoken to me on conversion and we have great rapport as well.
Dear Admin, tell me should I give up the relationship or bite my teeth for my daughters sake and hope he will become normal once I give him what he wants -Maya
Also read: Interfaith marriage with equality (Video), Hindu-Christian Marriage, Will Gandhi go to Hell since he was not Baptized?, Bible on Hindus?, Idol-Worshippers, I am a Christian mother, I converted without knowledge of my family, I am Christian getting married to a Hindu, Do all Christians go to Heaven?, Ignorent Molly trying to convert a Krishna believer to Christianity ..a video, Namastey London movie…intolerant Christians ..a video, All religions are not same, A Hindu America?, Why I am a Hindu?, A fundamentalist Christian, Why I came back to Hinduism?, Dharma is not the same as religion, Text book on How to convert Hindu Students to Christianity,
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Hindu has to Convert to Marry Christian Marthoma
Maya,
It seems your husband is an abuse person. He should not torture you when you are carrying his child. Instead of loving a wonderful wife and daughter, he is stuck on church’s demands. He has some devil into his head (conversion, conversion, conversion). Such irrational man can be more abusive and can hurt you, so be careful.
Maya, you said “he is only one who is gonna be with me till end,” why? If he don’t deserves you, you have to kick him out. Women should never give impression to their husband that this marriage is for ever and the obedient wife will never get/give divorce irrespective how the husband will treat the wife. Give him a warning even you don’t really mean it. Give him a chance to shape up and now. Do not take any physical or psychological torture from him, is so, call police ASAP. Talk to your parents openly about your situation. Please!
I have this doubt that he is tracking my phone calls and messages, also what I do at home..Yesterday I had played few religious music while I was at home alone because I was depressed .. he comes home at night and says something says tht you have either played religious music through phone or TV to baby.. dint we agree tht baby will follow only christainity.. I was dumbstruck, but I still told him I dint do it..
just couple of days back I thought OK let’s give up, after all I love my husband .. he is only one who is gonna be with me till end.. I thought of converting for his and daughters sake with clear condition saying tht I will follow both religion, but after now he doing this, all those things for which I thought of forgiving him came back.
I spoke to him couple of days mentioning I’m OK to convert since I love him and will follow both religion, but with a clear condition saying I will keep statues at home, go to temples and will visit my parents with baby for all functions and festivals.. he agreed for everything expect keeping statues at home and informed me tht my parents or me should never influence the child with Hindu Religion
I have lost complete trust on him and from yesterday feel like giving up the relationship. I’m financially stable and can take care of my daughter, but I’m still holding on to it because of my daughter. I want her to enjoy love from both mother and father..
His mother also came out of troubled marriage with both his sons while they were in school.i thought from his mothers experience he will think to be great husband to me and father to our daughter, but no I guess he is just like his father. He never understood and will understand e importance of father for a child
He hurt his mother so bad for my sake during our marriage, which I kept telling was wrong and now he is hurting for daughters sake and Tomo my daughter’s future is at stake. The best part he himself told his once tht ” For you I hurt my mother, now for my daughter I’m hurting you and I pray tht future I don’t hurt her”…
He links everything to conversion, like for eg: let’s start saving now tht we have a baby and his response what’s the point in saving if you don’t convert.
Let’s buy a house – I will not do it for you bcos you didn’t convert
Let’s ask your mother to stay with us – no not required bcos you did not convert
I’m tired of him and his religion. he is good otherwise, but conversion topic alone is enough for me to go depressed and think of all negative thoughts.
Usually after marriage girls will have difficult time because of in law, but in my case family is great. My MIL has never spoken to me on conversion and we have great rapport as well.
Dear Admin, tell me should I give up the relationship or bite my teeth for my daughters sake and hope he will become normal once I give him what he wants
Dear Maya,
Thank you for sharing. We are with you. Unload all your frustration to us. don’t be depressed, instead be ready to fight for justice. We do not mean fight for fight, but remove his ignorance (the conversion devil in his mind) with education. It will take some 2-3 years but lets start.
It is unfortunate that you live in a free country but you do not have any freedom of expression of your faith. This is just because you loved a (wrong?) Christian.
Bollywood and media portrait Christianity as a religion of LOVE. Now you are seeing first hand the reality. If any one is not convinced, should read all other posts here.
More you give in, more he will feel rewarded and demand more. Sometimes, you have to make him realize that enough is enough. Remember, probably his church wants you to be 100% Christian and 0% Hindu. If being 0% Hindu is not acceptable to you, then time is to speak out no now!
It is good that you are financially stable. Save every penny and keep in full your control; and away from him. Lets hope not but you do not want to be fool by spending all money for him and his church because this marriage may end someday.
Now on educating him….
Ask him if Jesus or his church is more important for him? Tell him you will accept Jesus 100% in life but will not be baptized. Read this our article and get in intellectual discussion with him. Do not fight or get angry, but stay cool and calm; but firm in your arguments.
Ask him if Gandhiji will be going to hell because he was not baptized? What is more important, good karma or baptism? Read this.
On murtis, read this and get in intellectual discussion based on what we wrote.
Let us know how it goes. We will give you more tips to educate him as time pass by. Keep in touch!