kashish says: December 12, 2016 at 3:38 am
Hlo sir.
M kashish nd I m hindu or my boyfriend is muslim
hm dono bht pyrr krte hai ek dusre se 2yrs hogye rltn ko
m basically jaat family se belong krti hu
m uske sth hamesha rhna chahti hu pr ghr pr pta chl gya h
m fir bhi rltn m hu
to aap plz btaye ki m kya kru
agr mne kuch glt kia to mamma suicide kr skti h
do plz help me -Kashish
kashish says: December 15, 2016 at 9:48 pm
sir,
usne bola h ki tu hindu hi rhiooo (Muslim boy friend said: you are Hindu and will remain Hindu) or saare festivals celebrate krio
vo mere sth temples m bhi jaata (he will come to temples with her) or m dargah m
or jha tk children’s ki baat h to vo name hm muslim rkhe ya hindus m koi prblm nhi h
then usne name change karne k lie bhi nhi bola h uski family m uske bde bhai or mmy ko pta h unhe bhi koi prblm nhi h
bss vo chhata h ki m non-veg khana strt krdu or kuch nhi
mujhe usse koi prblm nhi h na hi mujhe
prblm to bss meri family ko h
nd m apni mother ki bht care krti hu
m apni family se bht pyrr krti hu isle to kuch esa nhi krna chahti jisse unhe hurt ho -Kashish
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Kashish
I think u r a good girl. It’s not bad to love. But I’ll say it’s not right to marry in just 18/19. U must complete ur study first it’s not just about Ur carrier it’s about maturity. If ur lover really loves you he will wait for you don’t worry. You must give a chance to him for showing his honesty and love. In those years you will know him more and confirm Ur decision of getting married and think more and study deeply ofgetting married
ohhk thank u sir?????
isne to mujhe kaha tha ki
hm sbko manayenge agr maan gye to thik h
vrna m khi dur chle jayenge
kuch tym to prblm hogi pr fir sb thik hojygA
vo bht acha h
usko as a boy mmy papa ko acha lgta h
financially bhi acha h
age m mujhse 2months badaa hai
uske bhai or papa job krte h
mujhe sb pta h uske bre m
mne usse bola tha ek br ki tumhre m ese hi talak ho jata h or kitni sari shadi hoti h
then he said hmari love marriage hogi to m esa kuch nhi karne vala bass trust rkh
agr trust hona kisi bhi rltn m bht imprnt hai
Dear Kashish,
Jo kuchch bhi Karo, soch samajh ker karo kyunki, shadi to jindagi men ek bar hi honI chahiye. Yadi, talas leker dubara shadi karni pade to kitna dukh hoga.
Saves pahli baat – zindagi tumhare hath me hai aur Islam bhala bura tumhe hi sochna hoga. Yadi future men kuchch gadbad hota hai to Islam jimmewar kaun hoga? Isi like San kuchch Sochi vichar kar karo.
Shadi se pahle koi nahin kahega ki main tumour talaq dunga. Leaking baad mein talaq mil bhi sakati ha. Yeh a hi tarah se soch lo. Isi tarah se Muslman dusri shadi bhi kar skate hain kyunki unke liye shadi ka alag kanun hai. Aur bhi Kai bbaten hain. Yadi tum chaho to aur bhi batein admin tumko bata skate hain jo shadi se pahle Janana bahoot jaruri hai.
Bhagwan tumhari rahwari Karen.
aap bss plz meri help kro ki m apne parents ko kese convince kru
m to yh chahti hu sb clr ho jye is dec. m hi taa ki m yh soch sku ki new year se rltn rkhu ya nhi
mere lie bht mushkil but I will try
Kashish,
We know you will not like what we may say, because truth is bitter. Rome was not built in a day. We believe you said you are in the first year of college. Age 17-20 is not to get married, especially interfaith marriage with potential big issues. You could ruin your life for this childish act. If you were smart, just be a friend with him from distance and keep learning new thing about him and Islam. After you graduate from college and when you have a job, then go marry to a person of your choice. There, parents will have very little left to say.
You asked, “m apne parents ko kese convince kru.” Answer is very simple. Your parents will ask you below 26 questions and concerns. Convince your parents that none of 26 points will apply in your love and marriage. We are sure they will be happy to learn and marry you off to him.
1) your conversion to Islam is must before Nikaah marriage.
2) You will be given an Arabic name.
3) You cannot have a Hindu wedding.
4) You will not be allowed to use Facebook after marriage.
5) As a Muslim, you cannot enter a Hindu temple–ever.
6) You cannot carry any Hindu god photos or Ganesh murti in your home.
7) You will not be encouraged to go for further education or a job.
8) You will be rushed into having several kids.
9) Your children will have Arabic names.
10) Your children will have circumcision.
11) Children will be taught only from Koran, not at all from Geeta.
12) Your daughter will be discouraged to listen music, perform dance or play sports.
13) Your children will not be allowed to be a part of Holi, Janmasthami and Diwali.
14) Your Muslim sons will be allow to mingle with your Hindu relatives and girls, but not your Muslim daughters.
15) Your children can marry to their Muslim cousins.
16) Your children will marry to (former) Hindus (after converting) like you will do.
17) You will have to reduce association with your Hindu parents and Hindu friends, and ultimately forget them. You will have a new set of Muslim relatives and Muslim friends.
18) You will have to cook and eat beef (cow).
19) You may have to wear burqa.
20) Legally Muslim can have up to 4 wives in India, 3 new ones next to you!
21) Koran 4:34 says it is okay to beat wife.
22) A Muslim husband can end the marriage by simple talaak, talaak, talaak. Where will you go after talaak, …to your parents? We hope not!
23) After conversion to Islam, even after talaak, if you decide to quit Islam and be a Hindu, punishment is death. (Bukhari 9.84.57)
24) If you are divorced, most probably you will not get your child custody.
25) After talaak, You (a Muslim lady) MUST marry only another Muslim.
26) If you die, you will be put in a grave and given Islamic final rites.
Simply convince your parents that none of above 26 is truth or applicable in your case.
sir. m uske parents se nhi mil skti
kyuki uska ghr mere ghr se thoda hi dur h or mujhe sb jante h
mere ghr pta chl skta h
usne bht brr kha h ki meri AMMI se mille
sir,
usne bola h ki tu hindu hi rhiooo or saare festivals celebrate krio
vo mere sth temples m bhi jaata or m dargah m
or jha tk children’s ki baat h to vo name hm muslim rkhe ya hindus m koi prblm nhi h
then usne name change karne k lie bhi nhi bola h uski family m uske bde bhai or mmy ko pta h unhe bhi koi prblm nhi h
bss vo chhata h ki m non-veg khana strt krdu or kuch nhi
mujhe usse koi prblm nhi h na hi mujhe
prblm to bss meri family ko h
Dear Kashish,
You are smart to reach out to us and are willing to know of any potential issue. Knowledge is always powerful. Learning all “potential” issues before going too deep is a smart move. Keep us posted for how your relationship moves forward. At least there is no harm or negative impact in learning from others’ life experiences.
We are not trying to discourage you or creating problems but simply we are trying to educate you based on what we learned from 1200 other youths just like you on this web site. In the end, you can always do that you wish but it is good to get educated.
On “tu hindu hi rhiooo,” ask him how will you get married, if you do decide for it? Like other Hindus do, can your wedding be a Hindu only wedding? You said, “mmy ko pta h unhe bhi koi prblm nhi h,“ then go meet his parents in their home and ask his parents that you wish only a Hindu wedding for our marriage, and we need your blessings, is that okay?
Dargahs are open to all to visit/pray. Why don’t you go to one of local dargah next Friday, go without him and go during their prayer time. Learn if you like the way they pray. Let us know what you found.
Let us repeat one more time, we are not saying he is a bad boy but we don’t want you to be blind in love. Be brave and find all facts before jumping into a deep well (or a bed). We will be right here to guide you. Best wishes.
Kashish,
Are you willing to convert to Islam for your love? As far we have seen on this web site, Muslims will want you to be 100% Muslim and 0% Hindu. Is that okay with you? By the way, how much do you care for your mother?
Dear Kashish,
You can continue writing in Hindi.
We understand you are in love and he loves you. We also understand that he is very very nice. It is also natural to feel great when you are in love and be ready to do almost anything for the love. This experience is very common for almost any love married person. However, do realize that problems do come in life later and even many couples decide to take divorce. For all these reasons, you have to learn to be little practical and try to think beyond your “blind” love. We hope you will do.
If we stereotype based on what we learned on this site, we hope we are wrong but this could happen:
1) he will ask you to convert to Islam for Islamic Nikaah marriage
2) Kashish name will be removed and given a Muslim name
3) Conversion means now you cannot be Hindu, cannot visit temple to pray any more but will have to go to a mosque
4) When you convert, your parents and family will dishonor you and you will have to go away from them for ever. Get ready to say goodby to them.
5) Your children will have Muslim names and raised as Muslims, and you cannot teach them to celebrate Diwali, Holi, etc but new sets of holidays like Bakra-eid and others.
6) When you die, you will be put in a grave.
If you ask him now for clarification, he will say, “jo hoga deke jygaa” because he does not want to tell truth now. Will it be okay for you to convert to Islam? This is the first question you have to ask yourself.
nd m apni mother ki bht care krti hu
m apni family se bht pyrr krti hu isle to kuch esa nhi krna chahti jisse unhe hurt ho
Kashish,
You are a good girl and keep it that way. Make a point of never cheating your parents. Decide that in “blind” love, you will never run away and backstab your parents. We recommend that you rationally challenge you parents if they don’t agree to your love. We will give you lots of tips how to convince your parents to make them agree to marry this guy, but before that lets collect all FACTS now about him.
whose facts sir.
If your parents choose a boy for you, they will search for family back ground of the boy, character, education, money, religious belief (too much or too little), father alcoholic, credit of their family in the society and your probability of happy married life with that boy (of your parent’s choice). Later, if something goes wrong, your parents will help you out.
In your current love with a Muslim boy, you do not know any thing more about the boy, his religion and all things listed above. Later, if you get talaak, talaak, talaak, your parents will say it is your own problem. So, we are asking you to collect all FACTS about the boy (normally that your parent’s job in within faith marriage). So we are saying to do your homework now. Make sense?