Anushka says: March 23, 2014 at 11:16 am
Hi,
I am married to a Roman Catholic who is 7 years elder to me. Being a single child of my HINDU parents, I was very pampered and yes stubborn too. I met ABC(my husband now) and was madly in love with him. He asked me to get converted and i madly in love said ok and after many difficulties i convinced my parents too.
We got married in both Hindu and Christian way. before that i got baptised and did all my Catichisam classes, etc with all my heart i accepted this religion. Everything was nice
Suddenly my Father In law introduced me to one of his relative saying… “yes she got converted as she wanted to come into our faith” but this was not the reason as they wanted me to get converted. this line pinched me like a dart as this conveyed that i think that THEIR religion was superior so i got converted. And since that i was in a dilemma.
Though my husband is a very nice person but after this relative husband once during a Hanuman Jayanti i refused to eat non veg (it was just a call from inside) so i quietly told my husband that see i will not be able to eat non veg and then he went and told my MIL that she will not eat Chicken so please cook veg for her and this she was so upset.. and since then the problem started.
After exact 9 months of marriage i kept Idols and started my pooja. as i was really disturbed with thousands of small little issues. Initially Husband was upset but slowly he accepted. We both were working so had little time to put our brains in some other thing.
Then after 1 year few months of marriage i conceived because of few health issues i left my job and convinced my husband to send me to my mother place.
Little fights we use to have but nothing huge use to happen.
Once baby was born i had millions of problem. and while i was pregnant i had few complications and this brought me more close to my BHAGWAN JI and more of guilt.
Now… there are tons of problems between us. As i have 2 unmarried sister in laws and a brother in law and of course MIL and FIL all keep on interfering and their interference is entertained by my husband.
I still do puja path and have kept my mandir but when anyone comes from my Inlaws side i close the cupboard.
I feel ashamed of what i have done.. all surrounded by guilt.. I really dont know what to do and how to overcome from this GUILT.
I have spoiled my Life my Parents Life and also my Husbands life. I know its my FAULT.. but Now what to do..????
I wish i found this site earlier.
Regards -Anushka
More information: Interfaith marriage with equality, Hindu-Christian Marriage, Bible on Hindus? Christian-Hindu relationships, Marriage & Divorce laws.
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Muslim: I wont wish to convert him (Hindu) to Islam
Hindu girls are usually naive and emotionally immature when it comes to taking important life decisions.
1) Marrying in a church or mosque means conversion to christianity.islam. Somehow the hindu girls they do not understand this clearly.
2) Changing one’s name is another clue of conversion. It doesn’t matter if you truly follow it or not. At the end of the day, conversion is conversion.
3) In interfaith couples, the children will either follow islam or christianity because they are devout religions. They will have partly christian/islamic names. Hindu women usually fail to forsee this before the marriage because of love and emotions.
I see these hindu girls everywhere on the internet telling their sob stories.
A person who cannot take an important life decision cannot be called as an adult. He/she is mentally just a child.
This girl disgusts me. She shouldn’t have married him in the first place. More fool her husband and in-laws for having trusted her. She has proved that anything she says is worthless (during her Baptism and Marriage ceremonies she would have made many promises), and that she has no respect for her husband and his family. Her husband should throw her and her kid out of the house and annul the marriage on grounds of fraud (yes, it can be done). Then her husband should marry a proper Catholic wife whom his parents can be proud of.
Hi,
I am a marthoma girl n I had been in a relationship wid a hindu ezhava guy for past 5 years. I believed dat my parents r broad minded n dey wuld accept dis n I presented dis at my home and dey were shocked to hear this. My parents are saying a clear NO. No one in my family s der 2 support me. My lover has said dat for dis relation he can get converted too.But my family is not accepting that too. The main problem is that we both dont have any siblings n are single child. My parents are not ready to accept him as he is a Hindu n especially a Ezhava. We seriously believe our love but in these 5 years we never knew dat religion and caste can apart us. we are in distance relationship. I am living in bombay n he s in kerala. actually v hav met nly 9 to 10 times. he used 2 cm 2 meet me every year. I dont have any idea how to handle dis situation. please reply.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=7791
Anushka,
To save your married life and to make this life bearable, you must educate your husband. At a time you will have to be very hard on him (supported with facts) and make strong arguments. We hope he is a rational person and he will realize problems with what their churches and his families are doing to your married life. Lets start several steps to educate him.
Step#1: Idol worshipping
Do: Buy idols of Jesus, Mary, Krishna and Laxmi (same size, same type). Put in a small altar and pray to all 4 together every day. Tell your husband to join you. Read the Idol worshipping: Who is and who is not. Based on that argue with your hubby why Krishna is not an idol just like Christ (or all 4 are idols). Let us know how it goes.
Step#2: Bible
Do: Buy a bible. From our article, Bible on Hindus? every day pick one sloka from it and ask your hubby to explain it to you. Challenge him how the God could be Jealous and angry? who are “other” Gods? Why there are irrational messages for interfaith marriages? Can non-Baptized Gandhi go to heaven? Does he really believe the Bible is 100% God’s words? Drive him nuts with your arguments but you stay cool and calm. Let us know how it goes.
Step 3: Convert to Buddhism, Jainism, Islam and all
Tell your husband that you are a Hindu by birth and, by his request, you are now also a Christian. You have ADDED a deity, but you cannot REMOVE any one. To you, conversion to Christianity does not mean you are not a Hindu any more. Further, warn him that if he does not support you being a Hindu, you will go and covert to Islam, Buddhism, Jainism, Judaism and all. Further, you will also go and announce it by Facebook, local TV and publish this news in Newspapers. No one could stop you from converting to what ever you wish. Ask him to support you fully be a Hindu otherwise outcome will be very severe. It will not look bad on you (a pluralist Hindu) but people will make fun of his irrational parents and church (intolerant Christians). (first try #1, then#2 then #3, and more to come!!).
Thank you Admin for your response.
I am really full of guilt.
I have few questions.. Do i need to get converted on papers as Hindu.. And if so is it important to tell my husband. .??
Should i remove idol or should i somehow disclose infront of his family that i follow ny birth religion as well.
And yes.. As Hinduism gives us freedom to worship any deity.. I believe in Jesus but not ib Church.so i guess i am respecting Jesus but not really bothered about the commandments.
Thanks and Regards
Anushka
Anushka,
Have no guilt, you have not killed any one nor forced convert any one to Hinduism. Do not make any drastic change in life, but continue to educate yourself about interfaith issues by reading all articles we have written. Slowly and slowly keep challenging your husband about their irrational ideology and in a year he will realize there is some issue there. We will talk more as we go along.
Do not remove murtis what you have. They are not idols. If Krishna’s mufti is an idol, Jesus’ wood cross and Mary’s statue are nothing more than idols. Slowly (very slowly) tell your husband every day that you are going toward Hinduism. You do not have to mention to anyone else now.
You are right on the dot! Yes, Jesus was a great man but these churches are teaching all intolerant teachings. Read Guruma http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skp09RhUfTY and Molly in “also read” section above.
Yes, you will have to go to an Arya Samaj and formally convert to Hinduism. Document it by photos and papers work. But don’t bother all these things now. You are what you are, the paper is not going to change any thing.
So don’t worry about big things now, just read and educate yourself. Slowly and slowly enlighten your husband towards tolerance to others. Enjoy your life rather than boiling about all these now. We will be right here and update us as we go along.
Thank you so much for all your motivation.
Dear Anushka,
We are glad you have came to us. Now you are in good hands. We will save your married life and also make it happy and everlasting. Please do these.
1) Focus on your baby and give her your all love and affections.
2) Don’t be too concerned about small things. Let dogs bark, but you focus on big things in life.
3) Educate your self with all what we have written. Understand what is the core issue between Hindu and Christians. Understand the exclusivist and superiority of Christian churches (not Jesus!!) and slowly and slowly educate your husband toward pluralism. It will take an year (educate yourself first then educate your husband).
So now feel happiness and joy in your life. Always be cheerful with all, all times. Good days are ahead for you. You will fix them all (but slowly, first educate yourself). Lets talk more later, bye for now.