Sanah says: May 9, 2013 at 1:25 pm
Hi Everyone,
I am a 20 year old Indian Muslim living in the UK, and I am in love with a Hindu boy who is of 24 years of age and he is also from the UK. I have known him for about 5 years. Everything is perfect between me and him, the language (Gujarati) is the same, our families are very similar and we make each other very happy. I have not found this type of relationship with a Muslim boy, and I truly am deeply in love with this Hindu boy and we both do want a future together. We both respect our own religions, and we both want to keep our own and I would not expect him to convert, nor will I convert either.
My family found out about him last year (we were seen together), and they are not happy and they are not allowing me to see him ever again. My mother was more unhappy with me that I was seen with a guy, not much that he is a different religion. This may have been because I am still young and so they do not want me making any mistakes. Behind their back I have been seeing this Hindu boy, and recently, his family found out (we were seen together, again). They are not happy with him at all, and he thinks they (Hindus) will never accept me because of this religion barrier.
I don’t know what to do, because we are both deeply in love with each other and can see a future, it is just that our families will not accept. I know that it is more important that his family accept me because I will be going into his family and living with them (as much as I would want my family to accept), how can I get them to accept me?
I am thinking of trying to meet them and maybe let them get to know me? I am unsure of what to do, because I do not want this relationship to end, he is a big part of my life now and I really can’t live without him!
I would appreciate any advice and help on this.
Thank you -Sanah
Admin says:
Sanah,
Give us 2-3 years and we will help you do Godly (if not Muhammad’s) work. Please keep in touch with us every month to guide you.
Let us take an opportunity to address a big picture. GodIsGreat girl said in summary that it is not religion but culture. Here is a great example that she is wrong. You and your bf’s families have the same common ancestors, speak the same Gujarati language, eat the same delicious Gujarati food (with extra sugar!!), drink water from the same river, go to the same schools and colleges, breath the same dusty air, get backed in the same hot sun, and what not. Then why there should be any difference between two? That difference is religion, only. Your ancestors probably were forced to convert to Islam during Mogul rules and were taught from the Koran to hate Hindus all these years.
Hindus in Gujarat still have vivid memory of Somnath Temple being demolished several times by Muslims 1000 years before. Historically Hindus have learned that a Muslim can never be trusted, ultimately, sooner or later, they will back stab you. In Gujarat, there were religious riots, probably even year. Muslim of Gujarat also remember all these barbaric riots very well, including the last one in Ahmedabad in 2002. Good or bad, but that last riot has brought peace (on streets) between Hindus and Muslims in Gujarat.
You are only 20 years old girl in UK but you will have to face all historical issues. You and your bf love each other because you are innocent and are not burdened by all these history, we hope you continue that way. We hope Allah gives you strength to go and prove to both sets of parents that they are wrong and now it is time to forget past and love each other.
Now let us come back to you and your current issue. Do not go back to his parents and try to convince them any thing, because you yourself don’t know who you are. Have you read Koran? Please sit down with your bf and read every verses into it and decide what it means to you both. What Islam means to you? If you say you are a proud Muslim believing in Muhammad, then are you going to have Islamic Nikaah and ask the Hindu to fake-convert to Islam by Shahadah? It is anti-Islamic to marry or to tolerate a Hindu as a husband.
Make a list and write down answers to points raised in Muslim Girl. This will help make a decision.
You did not fall in love with a Hindu by chance, but it was by design. You knew all along Muslim practices of not tolerating other faiths, intolerant and violent teachings in the Koran, Islamic Women’s conditions today, Muta marriages, needs for HRS, wife-beating is accepted in Islam, Muhammad life (do you want your husband exactly like Muhammad?), teachings in Hadith, etc. You do not want a husband who has Allah-given rights to say talaak, talaak, talaak and the marriage contract is void, simple! Take some time to decide what is your fall back second choice?
Give your parents two years and ask them to find a guy who is equally educated like you. Go date him and look if that guy will keep you with dignity and respect for life. If you do find one, go for it, it is better for you in long run.
If your parents can’t find a suitable match, then fall back to your Hindu bf. Take two-three more years to make any decision (people in UK marry 25+ anyways). Read a lot on this site, come and guide others (best way to learn is to teach!). When you are educated by knowledge, you will be able to argue with yours and his parents rationally. Their Hindu scriptures never said any where not to tolerate Muslims or people from other faith, so that will make your life easy. You just have to learn to interpret your Koran in its context.
If you are in UK, then wait till you are financially independent. If you decides to get married, rent a flat and plan to live there separate from parents. Later, keep in touch with both sets of parents and love them. It will probably take 2-5 years of married life to win their trust, but it will happen.
Bottom line, educate yourself, decide who are you, decide what are rational things to do, be financially independent, get married (No BBS), triple love both sets of parents, have patience and ultimately you will win. You will feel joyous to see two former enemy families are now hugging each other and loving each other; that is a Godly work! -Admin.
Sanah says: May 29, 2013 at 11:50 am
Hi Admin,
Thank you for your reply! I am sorry I did not reply sooner, I have been having a long think about all this.
I know for sure I really want to spend the rest of my life with him. I am aware I am only 20 and this may be young, however, he is 24 and his family now know about me and so I need to act fast. They are not happy that I am Muslim, I haven’t yet told him I would like to meet his parents. I feel I should as this can give them a chance to get to know me and see that I am very serious about him, and that I would like to spend my future with him.
Marriage wise, I am not sure how it would take place me being Muslim and him still being Hindu. As you were saying he cannot be part of the Nikkah if he is still Hindu, so I am not sure how a marriage ritual can take place between us. This would be in years to come once me and him are financially stable, but I do wonder how the marriage can take place in the UK.
He does feel his parents may not accept, and that is why I feel I should introduce myself to them because he is getting a very hard time at home from them too. I know my parents may not accept either, and that I would be risking to lose my whole family, which is a very huge step for me. I really want to be happy, and that is with him, but I know there would need to be big sacrifices for that to happen. -Sanah
Sanah says: September 20, 2014 at 6:50 pm
Hi Admin,
Unfortunately he did not seem it was suitable to meet his sister. And three months ago he told me his mum and sister told him that he needs to leave me, and that if he wanted to be with me it will never work and that he will have to forget his family. From that, he decided it’s best we go our separate ways, as much as it hurt us both.
He didn’t like the idea of sneaking around to meet, and he wants to do right by his family. I understand and respect his decision, however, it has been extremely hard to be without him. I did mention if I can meet someone from his family and he said it will make matters worse. I said I’m ready to change to a hindu, he said because I’m born a muslim I will always be seen as one and so that may not work. He never put that idea across to his family – they have been through a lot together as a family and he did not want to worry them and I think he was more scared than anything.
We have kept in touch a little over the past few months, but obviously it’s not the same and most probably never will be. I’m broken, I cry myself to sleep every night and I don’t feel like doing anything in the day I’ve lost all motivation. My family have realised and I confronted my mum about the situation (when she knew about me and him 3 years ago she told me to never speak and see him again) and surprisingly she was calm and she understood, she was shocked at how respectful and how much of a one in a million man he is. She said if he were to convert she would happily accept it – but it’s not easy, with his family background and what they have been through (personal reasons) he can’t convert. She (my mom) said she would never let me convert to a hindu, but she said she does want me to be happy. My brother is in a similar situation where he has a Sikh girlfriend and he said he wouldn’t put it past me if I wanted to be with a Hindu.
I am serious about converting to a hindu for him, I don’t want to marry a muslim I’m aware I would be leading a restricted and dependent life. I find Hinduism very peaceful, and I have a lot of interest and have done a lot of research. It is him who I want to be with, it is that lifestyle I want to live, and it is that family I would love to be part of. I just don’t know what to do, he is scared to confront his family about this and with the little contact we have I have tried to bring it up and he gets very upset and doesn’t want to talk about it. I don’t know what else I can do – I am in such a bad state, I have had suicidal thoughts too.
Any advice on this would be much appreciated, I can’t go on like this it is really painful. And no matter what anyone says I know I will never find a man as decent and respectful as him. I respect him more for his decision to do right by his family, however, I still want to be with him and spend the rest of my life with him.
Thanks, – Sanah
More information: Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia, Muslim-Hindu marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus? Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Marriage & Divorce laws.
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Hi,
I’m a journalist from VICE and trying to share the unique experiences of inter-faith relationships. Having been in one myself I think it’s really important to share these stories. It would be great to speak to people. Email me at ruchira.sharma@vice.com
i am a hindu boy want to marry with muslin girl but girl parents are not agree please pray for me sai baba and allah please
Prashant,
Thank you for reaching out to us, we have experience with some 700 youths in Muslim-Hindu relationship and can help you.
Tell us what are their concerns. Also are your parents okay you marrying her? Do you have to have a religious wedding? What you have discussed between two for how to raise children? If two sets of parents don’t agree, what would you guys would do? Based on your situation and comfort level, we will guide you, so get back.
Admin, you are liar, biased, evil minded people, how can you say that “That difference is religion, only. Your ancestors probably were forced to convert to Islam during Mogul rules and were taught from the Koran to hate Hindus all these years. “””- have you seen they are forcefully converted, and gujrati muslims were the early reverts to islam, they got islam from arabs not mughals, so you made a historial blinder, shame on you and on your knowledge, how could you make such statement?????? and you said kuran teaches to hate hindus then what vedas,gita,manu teaches Vedas on Muslims and about somnath twmple, did muslims demolished somnath temple or rulers demolished.,
And you also said “”Have you read Koran? Please sit down with your bf and read every verses into it and decide what it means to you both.”””” wah admin wah , what a strategy to misguide people,, there are 6,236 verses in quran and you have provided only few of them and telling to Sanah that read every verses on it, You lied, you are a liar .
And Stop your bias propaganda, you said i am partial, may be and yes i am coz i am defending islam here, but you are Admin, Why you didn`t make a list of Vedas,Manu,Gita on MuslimsChristians…, why???? Is it not partiality???????
“”””Hindus in Gujarat still have vivid memory of Somnath Temple being demolished several times by Muslims 1000 years before.””””” By muslims, every things a ruler does to spread his dynasty, then you must have mentioned how hindus raped thousands of muslims women, their children, pregnant women were raped, their foetus was brought out from womb, they palyed with foetus using their sword
http://www.milligazette.com/Archives/01052002/0105200251.htm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/1933521.stm
Also when you said to her , that “”Please sit down with your bf and read every verses into it and decide what it means to you both. What Islam means to you? “” but unfortunately you didn`t provide every verses, there are 6236 verses
—-continued
You said to her “”””Now let us come back to you and your current issue. Do not go back to his parents and try to convince them any thing, because you yourself don’t know who you are. Have you read Koran? Please sit down with your bf and read every verses into it and decide what it means to you both. What Islam means to you? “”””” Now tell me did you gave every verses on it, there are 6,236 verses but you gave only few and advising Sanah that read every verses on it by giving link, if you haven`t gave link then it wouldn`t have been a conspiracy.
Hi Admin,
Unfortunately he did not seem it was suitable to meet his sister. And three months ago he told me his mum and sister told him that he needs to leave me, and that if he wanted to be with me it will never work and that he will have to forget his family. From that, he decided it’s best we go our separate ways, as much as it hurt us both.
He didn’t like the idea of sneaking around to meet, and he wants to do right by his family. I understand and respect his decision, however, it has been extremely hard to be without him. I did mention if I can meet someone from his family and he said it will make matters worse. I said I’m ready to change to a hindu, he said because I’m born a muslim I will always be seen as one and so that may not work. He never put that idea across to his family – they have been through a lot together as a family and he did not want to worry them and I think he was more scared than anything.
We have kept in touch a little over the past few months, but obviously it’s not the same and most probably never will be. I’m broken, I cry myself to sleep every night and I don’t feel like doing anything in the day I’ve lost all motivation. My family have realised and I confronted my mum about the situation (when she knew about me and him 3 years ago she told me to never speak and see him again) and surprisingly she was calm and she understood, she was shocked at how respectful and how much of a one in a million man he is. She said if he were to convert she would happily accept it – but it’s not easy, with his family background and what they have been through (personal reasons) he can’t convert. She said she would never let me convert to a hindu, but she said she does want me to be happy. My brother is in a similar situation where he has a Sikh girlfriend and he said he wouldn’t put it past me if I wanted to be with a Hindu.
I am serious about converting to a hindu for him, I don’t want to marry a muslim I’m aware I would be leading a restricted and dependent life. I find Hinduism very peaceful, and I have a lot of interest and have done a lot of research. It is him who I want to be with, it is that lifestyle I want to live, and it is that family I would love to be part of. I just don’t know what to do, he is scared to confront his family about this and with the little contact we have I have tried to bring it up and he gets very upset and doesn’t want to talk about it. I don’t know what else I can do – I am in such a bad state, I have had suicidal thoughts too.
Any advice on this would be much appreciated, I can’t go on like this it is really painful. And no matter what anyone says I know I will never find a man as decent and respectful as him. I respect him more for his decision to do right by his family, however, I still want to be with him and spend the rest of my life with him.
Thanks,
Sanah
Dear Sanah,
Thank you for keeping in touch over past 16 months. In spite of all your sincere efforts to make up with the guy, it is sad it is not working out. That guy just does not have guts to go against his family, even you guys are in UK and probably he is financially independent. We hope he will mature soon as he ages.
Sanah, you cannot let yourself down. You should never think of suicide, instead always try to keep busy doing different things and keep in touch with your other friends. A nice bright life is waiting for you, but you have to wait for 5 or 10 years. As much hard it may be, you must explore for your other options. Focus on your education and start a good career.
This conversion business is so dirty, we do not promote it here. We strongly believe you should not convert for the sake of marriage and he should not fake-convert to Islam just to please your parents/imam. The same true for your brother, we hope he will not convert that Sikh girl to Islam for marriage. Let us know what he does.
You are only 21 and there is so much to do and gain in life. Please find a job or find ways to keep yourself busy. Over time, some solution will come around. We will pray for you, best wishes. Keep in touch when ever you feel down, we care and we are waiting!
Thank you Admin.
It is very difficult to deal with, and I do try to keep myself busy – it’s just that he was a big part of my life for 7 years and everything and everyone around me reminds me of him.
I may never love anyone again, and I don’t think I will get married to anyone as it won’t be fair that I can’t give them what they want and the love that they deserve. He will always be the best part of me, and I’ll never forget him. It is bad to say but I don’t want a muslim marriage – I don’t want to be restricted and not be independent, I like freedom and that is what everyone deserves. I don’t feel comfortable about the idea of becoming close to another man now, this really disturbs me and I’d rather live a life with no man in my life if I can’t be with him.
I don’t regret ever meeting him, he has taught me a lot and I am who I am today because of him. It is heartbreaking to see how it has ended, and I hope this tragedy does not happen to anyone, it is one of the most painful experiences in life and nothing really makes it better – maybe time will heal who knows.
I just wanted to thank you for your support over the years, and I hope there are couples out there in similar situations who have made it work.
Thanks,
Sanah
Sanah,
Life is long and you may live till 90+ (never know). In life, many ups, downs and bumps comes. That does not mean you accept defeat of dealing with reality of life and give up. Be strong and positive. Believe… what ever happen, happens for good. There is something better waiting for you, mark our words. After 5 or 10 years later, you will have something great to be proud about yourself and your life, provided if you keep being optimist and look for other options. In the West, it is not uncommon for people to marry at age about 30, so you are too young any ways. Who knows later even that guy will be more mentally independent and reconsider. What ever you do, we wish to keep in touch with you and see you happy. Meantime, come on this site to educate other Muslim girls (and boys like mac).
mac is trying to install quran, other teachings are passing cars
Well, that Sanah has to decide what will work for her. She lives in a free country and she is intelligent and educated.
Hi Admin,
Thank you for your reply! I am sorry I did not reply sooner, I have been having a long think about all this.
I know for sure I really want to spend the rest of my life with him. I am aware I am only 20 and this may be young, however, he is 24 and his family now know about me and so I need to act fast. They are not happy that I am Muslim, I haven’t yet told him I would like to meet his parents. I feel I should as this can give them a chance to get to know me and see that I am very serious about him, and that I would like to spend my future with him.
Marriage wise, I am not sure how it would take place me being Muslim and him still being Hindu. As you were saying he cannot be part of the Nikkah if he is still Hindu, so I am not sure how a marriage ritual can take place between us. This would be in years to come once me and him are financially stable, but I do wonder how the marriage can take place in the UK.
He does feel his parents may not accept, and that is why I feel I should introduce myself to them because he is getting a very hard time at home from them too. I know my parents may not accept either, and that I would be risking to lose my whole family, which is a very huge step for me. I really want to be happy, and that is with him, but I know there would need to be big sacrifices for that to happen 🙁
Sanah
Sanah,
We are very glad to hear from you, please keep in touch over years. Together, lets make this World a better place to live for all, can you help us?
You live in UK and you both are adults. Thus there is no one could stop you from marrying the way you wish. The questions are… how you want to get married and if you care for your customs and parents. Best option is to keep at a distance from both faiths and get married in a court, simple. Both parents will get upset, but they will have to get around ultimately. However, you are only 20 and you are not financially independent and thus this advice will be very hard to put in effect for you.
First do soul searching, who are you? Who is Allah? Are you worried about the Judgment Day? Do you believe every word in the Koran is God’s word? If you are a text book Muslim, don’t bother with this relationship. Instead find a Muslim boy who is performing Namaz five times a day.
Do not go talk to his parents till you know who you are. They will ask you “Can you be a part of Hindu wedding?, Can you come to a Hindu temple and perform pooja (idol worshipping?), what will be the name of your children? What will be the religion of your children?” Let us know what will you answer.
Keep reading all that we have said, talk to many many other people including imams, read Koran and Geeta and find out what is the truth. Find out who is the God? How should be an interfaith married life with equality? After you have more answers, talk to his and your parents. It will take lots of confrontations and heated discussions. It will take years before parents will come to terms.
Meantime, if you wish, keep in relationship with your bf. Every interfaith couples go through the pain what you are going through, so you are not alone. Please ask us any specific question you may have. We are waiting right here!
Hi Admin,
Sorry once again for a very late response. I am still in a relationship with the Hindu boy, and it has been going wonderful as always, there has never been any problems. Apart from what our future holds.
I have come to realise in the past few months that I will not find anyone as caring and loving as him, and someone who is exactly like me. We share a special connection and bond and I am willing to fight until the end of time for him. I have thought about this situation a lot and I decided that I will change to Hinduism to marry him and share a future with him. He was very happy to hear this of course, however, when he approached his mother to see if she will accept, she has said no. They had a very heated argument and she said she would not want me to leave my family either (as my family will never accept and I am aware I would need to leave them to convert and marry him). I am stuck now as to what to do, I still want to carry on fighting for him.
I have not yet met his mother. However, I mentioned the idea of meeting his mother to him, and he said that honestly she may not want to see me and that it is very heated at home. He did say he may speak to his sister, who has known about me and him since the start and she has not been happy about us both, but they share a close relationship and he is going to try and explain to her how I am willing to change and sacrifice everything. I may consider to meet his sister and try to convince her I am a decent girl and I am willing to sacrifice so much to be with her brother.
Whatever happens, I am not going to give up. I love him too much to do that! I know it may seem bad that I am willing to leave my religion and family for him, but all my life I have been doing things to keep others happy and I want to do something that will make me happy for my future. And I know I will be with him.
Do you think it is a good idea to meet his sister? And if the meeting does go to plan, what should I say? Any help on this would be much appreciated.
Thank you for your time and support 🙂 ,
Sanah
Yes, go meet the sister if she could help.
You do not have to give up your birth faith but respect both faiths.
We hope the guy is not mommy’s boy. If he is an independent thinker and adult (and in the West), he should do that is good in long run. As he gets good job and start living on his own, he will have more strength to get over rigid demands of his parents. So, give him a few more years.
You said, “all my life I have been doing things to keep others happy and I want to do something that will make me happy for my future”, it is good to make others happy but not by doing irrational things. If your parents ask you to convert that Hindu or your potential mother-in-law asks you to convert to Hinduism, those are irrational talks and you have to raise your head and voice against it.
Keep in touch. Best wishes.
http://www.ndtv.com/article/cities/bangalore-man-allegedly-set-pregnant-wife-on-fire-after-fight-48180
Dear D.
Kutastva Kashmalmidam vishame samupasthitam,
Anaryajustam aswargyam akirtikaram Arjuan.
(Geeta, Adhyay-2, Shlok-2)
I assume you know the meanings of the above shloka and the context when a warrior like Arjun is willing to become a beggar and even willing to be killed by his enemy cousins!
Your story is a perfect example of learning and practicing are two different things. Your problem ensues from the conflict between your wisdom and your desire. Your wisdom guides you to lead a path while your desire is forcing you to deviate from that path. It reminds me of the conversation between Nachiketa and Yamraaj in Kathopanishad where Yama says something as follows:
Shrey and Preya are two different things. Shreya frees you from the miseries while Preya binds you. Every one in his or her life gets the opportunity to chose one out of the two but a tiny fraction of them chose the Shreya. And the conversation goes on.
Analysis of your case:
You have been blinded by your desire and hence has taken a path of self destruction. Definitely you may end up your life in agony, if you didn’t change the course. You are facing almost all sort of problems – financial, professional, mental, social, spiritual and so forth! But who has created the problem for you? It’s you who is solely responsible for it and it’s only you who can bring the joyful life back! I am pretty sure you can do it, right away as yo have the strength to do it but you are oblivious of your capabilities, being blinded of your desire for that Guy who is dragging you to self destruction.
Just think for a second, what you have made of yourself:
1. You have become a liar because you have accepted to abide by Quraan and Muhammad though you believe in something opposite to Quraan. By the way, Quraanic discourse is mostly opposite to the Vedanta philosophy.
2. You are loving a person who is a deceitful person as
a)he has denied the marriage after marrying you.
b)he led you to temples before your marriage but now asking you
to quit them. What a cheat on his part!
c) how weak you have become in tha love lorn life that you are
willing to end life even after learning in the Gurukul that
it’s among the greatest of sins!
d)he doesn’t care about your feelings and takes you to the
abominable parties where Beef and other halal food is served.
e)he is contemplating to marrying another girl after he has
enjoyed you to his heart’s content!
f) he snatched your career from you and made you financially
starved.
3. You are helpless and a mute spectator to yuour self destruction.
Recommendations:
Udharet atmana atmanam natmanam avsadyet,
Atmaivhyatmanio bandhuratmav ripuratmanah.
Bandhuratmatmanastasya yenatmavatmanajitah
Anatmanastu shatrutva vartetatmaivshatruvat.
(Geeta, Chapter-6, Shlok-5,6)
2. As the deceitful person cannot be relied, and trusting him is like mistaking a crocodile as a boat. Not only now, what’s the guarantee that he will not cheat you after 5, 10 or 20 years from now? The problem will spirall into complexities with time. Throw him right away from your life. Even he begs for a chance, be very careful, not to bear a baby from him.
1. Financial solution: Try the past links in your profession, new avenues etc. If it still doesn’t work, see any alternative profession such as teaching in the gurukul, being a purohit administering religious rituals.
You may contact http://www.agniveer.com as your skill sets match their requirements. Also, you will love to do the work they are doing as their environment is the same you have been raised into.
I am hopeful, you may end up starting a blissful life again and will see the recent past as a learning experience.
Ananuashchintayanto man ye janah paryupasate.
Teshamnityabhiyuktanam yogkshemam vahamyaham.
Keep on coming to this site and educate yourself about the predators who are eyeing the innocent but love lorn girls like you.
hiiii….I am SD I am a known face on TV and the modling world and so i will refrain myself from sharing my name.
I am a 34 year old Brahmin girl, living all alone in a rented flat in delhi with my mother and a lhasa apso (for the world he is a dog but for me he is my spiritual son born out of my soul and thus he is the most important to me.). My parents got divorced even before i was born. my dad never wanted me…he wanted a son and so he never met me, except 3-4 times during court sessions for alumni.i was brought up by my meternal grandparents in a hard core brahmin family. i began my sanskrit shiksha at home and was then sent to Bhakti Vedanta Gurukul in Bengal…where i studied the Vedas, upanishadhs and the shastra. I always followed a satvik life and stayed at bay from non-veg, drinks, smoking, onions, garlic and other tamsic food. as a kid, i learnt to respect every animal, insect and plant and the panch tatva. my family never boughtanything made of leather! we follow SHIVISM and i am immensely in love with lord shiva…..he is my be all!!
7 years back i met a muslim guy, who was 6years younger to me and we fell in love. he was always religious but in the begaining he was tolerent n we both use to share things about our religion. he use to take me to temples and eventually after 1 year we got married as per HINDU rights in the presence of a pandit, my mentally not so stable mother and his three friends. from here began our story of physical involvement(he is the only man who i ever have been physically involved with n that to post marrying him before lord shiva).
Soon i realised that this marriage meant nothing to him and may be it was just a way to get me into his bed. though, he is genuine…he introduced me to his parents and i met his whole family. after 2-3months of marriage he began to force me to convert to islam. this was forbidden for me!!! the first shock that came my way was when he began taking me to marriages and parties. i could not eat anything….it was just beef, meat etc(oh my gog!!!). i had never seen all of this. second shock that struck me was that he wanted me to cover my head 24×7. i soon became dependent on him for every little thing and did whatever he said. i began reading the quran. covering my head, used no make up etc. but i refused to eat meat and leave my satvik life style. my son (dog) is the most imp thing to me….more imp than me myself. i love him the way any mother would love his child. i realised soon he and his family wanted me to separate my son from me. i objected….coz i could never understand their theory despite reading the quran. his father was angry that my son sleeps with me….n im so close to a dog coz as per quran dog is napaq. but i just cant understand this theory…since i all ready told you about how i was brought up. also, in shaivism…vedas…gurukul i learnt that animals, humans, plant every thing are eqaual in their own right. they all are made of the panch tatva and their center is a soul. anyway, i put my foot down. he had problems with my profession. i am an anchor and model. however, despite my profession i always refrained from doing work that required me to expose or be in contact with a male….this came from my gurukul teachings. despite doing extremely decent work he had problems wth this profession and wanted me to give it up. unfortunately, i know nothing but acting!!!!
we began having fights over religion. he would insult my religion, idols etc, even wearing a teeka would create issues. he began making faces every time i would even use a little bit of sanskrit. i thot of giving in and decided to convert……….for me my heart matters and that will always be ruled by lord shiva. i converted at the jama mazjid and tried every bit to make him happy but not sacrificing on my basics of satva guna, mother and goofy. tho i have always been a hindu at heart….i am very tolerant and sensitive.
he knew my love for lord shiva and knew that i would die but will surely fas on shivratri. after conversion in 2010 this was my first shivratri. true to what he thot, i fasted. since his parents were not aware of our hindu marriage….we lived away but near by. thus, he followed me on that day and the moment he saw me at a temple he thrashed me to death. from here began his beating. now he would beat me every now and then.
i soon began feeling suffocated and one fine day in 2011 i told him that i cant act anymore and that im happy in my own religion. we had a huge fight….finally after a month he got back. but for 2 years my life became a living hell…..he would talk nothing but islam and tell me how people who do not follow the book will be punished etc. in jan 2013 we had a huge fight as he came over to my house……and got mad at the puja me n my mom wr performing. that day i had a computer engineer at my place to repair my computer and he insulted my religion left,right and center. i threw him out of the house b4 the computer eng and called his dad.
we broke up for 3months. and we got back in april 2013.
THE PROBLEM NOW IS THAT WITH INCREASING AGE IM NOT GETTING ANY WORK….MY FINANCIAL CONDITION IS EXTREMELY BAD. I HAVE NO SAVINGS. I LIVE IN A RENTED FLAT. I HAVE A MOTHER AND A SON (MY LHASA APSO) TO TK CARE OFF. HE IS AGAIN PUSHING ME TO CONVERT. THIS TIME PUSHING ME TO TAKE UP A JOB, REMOVE MY OM TATOO AND THROW AWAY GITA AND SHIVLING. HIS BEHAVIOUR HAS CHANGED COMPLETELY……….HE DZNT GIVE ME TIME OR EVEN TALK TO ME. BUT HE IS OK MARRYING ME!!! I FEEL INSULTED AND NEGLECTED. I CAUGHT SOME DIRTY MSGS WITH A WOMAN ON HIS WHATS APP…..HE SAID IN 3 MONTHS HE JUST HAD A CASUAL CHAT. HE IS NOW GETTING PROPOSALS FOR MARRIAGE TOO. HE AND HIS FAMILY WANT ME TO CONVERT B4 WE GET MARRIED AND LEARN EVERYTHING AND PROOVE THEM THAT IV CONVERTED. AT TIMES HE SAYS THAT LETS LIVE THIS WAY WITHOUT MARRYING BUT YOUU WILL NOT FOLLOW HINDUISM AND AFTER UR MOTHER AND SON ARE DEAD U WILL NOT FORCE ME TO STAY WITH YOU.
I STILL LOVE HIM ALOT, I HAVE NO FRIEND OR MALE FIGURE IN MY LIFE…….I DUNNO IF HE LEAVES ME HOW WILL I EVEN LIVE.WORK, AGE, MOM AND MY SON (12 YEARS OLD) ALL ARE A REASON FOR MY DIPPING CONFIDENCE AND INSECURITY. I CANNOT EVEN END THIS RELATION AND I CAN SEE HIM MARRYING ANYONE. I MYSELF CANNOT MARRY ANYONE.
BY THE WAY….JUST FOR YOUR INFO! IN A FIT OF ANGER I TOLD HIS PARENTS ABOUT OUR WEDDING AS PER HINDU RIGHTS. HE COMPLETELY DENIED AND WHEN I CONTACTED HIS FRIENDS THEY ALSO DENIED. I GAVE HIM ALL THE PICS AS I TRUSTED HIM BUT THAT WAS THE STUPIDEST THING THAT I DID. THE PANDIT AT HANUMAN MANDIR HAS GONE AWAY.
IM SO CONFUSED………AT TIMES I WANA END MY LIFE. IM HIGHLY SPIRITUAL AND ATTACHED TO MY RELIGION AND LORD SHIVA. NATURE AND ANIMALS ARE DEAR TO ME. I DUNNO WARE TO GO!!! WHAT TO DO???
IM ON ANTI DEPRESSANTS…..SINCE BEING UNABLE TO FOLLOW MY RELIGION FREELY IN EFFECTING ME ON A MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL LEVEL.
IF I LEAVE HIM, I WILL DIE IF HE MARRIES ELSEWHR AND WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT HIM. HE IS THE ONLY MAN IN MY LIFE. IF I MARRY HIM I WILL BE SUFFOCATED AS HINDU-MUSLIM PHILOSOPHIES ARE OPPOSITE AND I GET AFRAID WHEN I SEE HIS FAMILY.
FEEL LIKE ENDING MY LIFE…..HELP!!!! PLZ HELP
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=5455
I am a Muslim girl married to a Hindu guy and the only thing I can advise to you after reading your sad story is to leave this oppressive Muslim man, find a good job and stand on your own two feet. He will bring nothing but trouble and oppression to you. Please don’t think of suicide or anything like that – God does not like those who take their own lives.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=10981
Dear Sanah,
First of all you should be clear from your end that you are sure to go ahead with this guy as your husband. To arrive at any answer, you must enlist the pros and cons in future especially when you have your children. Also will you go with the Hindu rituals when the parents of the the Hindu boy will die? It’s a very important ritual and all the children as well as daughter in-laws are supposed to do it. So, assess the extent to which you can reach out for this Hindu boy.
Another point is will you be able to face your relatives and family friends after marrying a Hindu? How will you feel? What will be the religion, names and festivals of the children? If you won’t be able to cope with all these, you will start persuading your boy to convert for your sake. If you are going to remain a Muslim with Muhammad as your prophet, you will be a candidate for the hell for sure.
Only way out is to discard Muhammad and accept your original way of Hindu living, though believing in Allah. This way you will have a new life of freedom. You won’t be afraid of an imaginary D-day/night.
Most important from the Hindu boy family side will be your eating habit. They will never accept a girl as a daughter-in-law who consumes beef. So, part of convincing exercie to the Hindu family must include this point along with adopting your original culture. This will go more than half way.
Decision is yours and all the best for your future life. Finally, take time and never be in haste.
Hello sister,
You are lucky to be in UK and you can choose your own partner against the wishes of your parents too, Govt.rules are available to protect women interest.
Fully get assured of your BF,s intention and sincerity and then go for marriage. Also get some job, if not working presently.
With best wishes.
Further try to meet parents of your Hindu BF and make assessment of their attitude. If they are ready to accept as their daugter in law, no probem. Your BF will be rather happy to see you meeting his parents.
If you are working girl, it will be an added advantage. Muslim parents feel disrespected when they find that their daughters are attempting to ourside.They have no courage due to fear of relations and so called islamic phobia, which is actually full of evils, crimes, hatered and illegal practices.
Best wishes.
Hi Sanah,
Thanks for uploading your life story. My grand father was also Hindu but some how thereafter my other members married in the muslim families, which proved detrimental to the future generations.
You are in UK, both adult and educated. You can marry him legally but before doing so ensure that you both have good understanding and commitment for everlasting relations. Hindu guys are more libral, educative and submissive than muslim guys. In muslim family girls have to lead a restricted life, no independent say and sense of insecurity of divorce at the sweet will of husband.
If you both really love each other, no problem in UK to marry him. Police and other legislation are there to help you. Be bold and make plans for future with your would be husband. If you marry a muslim guy, on the wedding you will be required to bleed during first penetration and the bed sheet of blood stains shall be displayed as honour.Males are not needed to virgin, what a shameful discrimation against females.
Not to get pressurized, see your future with blissful and cheerful environment.
God bless you.