Many of celebrities’ life details are in public domain. Here, the author has used Bollywood celebrities Saif and Kareena’s published information to show that in spite of their different backgrounds a Hindu-Muslim marriage with equality is possible.
Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan’s romance was a hot subject for Bollywood. Saif’s mother, renowned actress Sharmila Tagore, converted to Islam for her marriage to Mansoor Ali Khan in 1969, changed her name to Begum Ayesha Sultana, gave Muslim names to all three of their children and raised them solely in the Islamic faith. Saif’s first wife Amrita Singh, a Sikh, converted to Islam in 1991 to marry him. They gave Arabic names to their kids. In 2004, she got talaak (divorce). In 2012, Saif married Kareena, a Hindu, without her converting to Islam.
Sharmila Tagore started her Bollywood career as a Bengali Indian film actress. She was also the head of the Indian film censorship board. Sharmila was born in a Bengali family in Hyderabad, India to Gitindranath Tagore who was then Deputy General Manager of the British India Company, owner of Elgin Mills. She is the great-granddaughter of Nobel laureate Rabindranath Tagore. On 27 December 1969, Sharmila Tagore married Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi, Nawab of Pataudi and converted to Islam.
Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi, nicknamed Tiger, was a former captain of the Indian cricket team. He was the 9th and last Nawab of Pataudi until 1971, when India abolished royal entitlements through the 26th Amendment to the Constitution of India. They are the parents of three children: Saif Ali Khan, a Bollywood actor, Soha Ali Khan, a Bollywood actress and Saba Ali Khan a jewelry designer.
Saif grew up in Bhopal at the family estate at Pataudi. Since his mother had converted to Islam, his childhood was spent in a Muslim atmosphere. Even with his maternal Hindu grandparents, he never discussed religion. His paternal grandmother was the center for all his religious education and theological experience. She had him read the Koran in his childhood. Their servants were all devout Muslims. When Saif went to study in England at Winchester College, his grandmother was worried that he would become a Christian. At the school he had to go to chapel for half an hour before he went to class. Saif went to the headmaster and said that he was a Muslim, so he refused to go to chapel. The headmaster organized a Maulvi Saheb for the two Muslims in the school. Apparently, Saif Ali Khan was a proud Muslim.
In 1991, Saif Ali Khan had nikaah, the Islamic wedding, with 12-year-older actress Amrita Singh. For his marriage preference, it has been quoted, “Saif had clearly told Amrita that she had to fall in line and go through only a nikaah. Very nawabi when it comes to the crux.” A nikaah for a Hindu or Sikh requires religious conversion to Islam by shahadah oath and one is then given a Muslim name. In 2004, Amrita and Saif separated and eventually had a talaak. It is not clear if religion played any role in the disagreements that led to their divorce. Their children had Abrahamic names—Sara and Ibrahim—and are with their mother while Saif started courting an Italian girlfriend, Rosa Catalano.
Kareena Randhir Kapoor was born to Sindhi-speaking Babita and Punjabi-speaking Randhir Kapoor on 21 September, 1977 in Mumbai, India. She has an elder sister, Karishma. The Kapoor family have been actors for generations, including her paternal great-grandfather, Prithviraj Kapoor; her grandfather, Raj Kapoor; her paternal uncles, Shammi, Shashi, Rishi, and Rajiv; as well as aunt, Neetu Singh and Jennifer Kendall, the wives of Rishi and Shashi respectively. Prithviraj Kapoor, Raj Kapoor, Randhir Kapoor and her mother Babita Shivdasani—all of them—had been driven from Islamic Pakistan at the time of partition because they were Hindus.
Randhir Kapoor was very protective of his daughters and wanted both of them to keep away from acting, get married and settle down, as per the Kapoor family tradition. This led to irreconcilable differences between her parents, which ultimately led to a divorce. Both sisters left Randhir to live with their mother.
For her man, Kareena said, “I want a man I can keep for myself. I wouldn’t ever share my man with anyone else. If I found out that my man is unfaithful, there’d be no tears, no shor-sharaba, I’d just slaughter him.” Apparently, Kareena is a person with high self-esteem and personal pride. She lived secretly with Saif and at the Lakme Fashion Awards in October 2007 they made their liaison official.
Kareena, raised in a proud Hindu family, is mostly a vegetarian and enjoys yoga. On the other side, Saif is a proud Muslim. Normally, a Muslim would expect the non-Muslim spouse to convert to Islam before a nikaah, the Islamic wedding ceremony. Saif is now different and does not believe in imposing his religious beliefs on others. A similar message has been given in the movies like Jodhaa Akbar, Gadar and Namastey London. Bollywood stars Hrithik Roshan (with Suzanne Khan; now divorced), Fardeen Feroz Khan (with Natasha Madhvani) and Aamir Khan (with Kiran Rao) did not require that their intended spouses change their religion for marriage. They got married by a civil wedding. Even Saif’s sister Soha Ali Khan got married to Kunal Khemu, a Hindu, without any one changing their religion. These are admirable acts.
Although Saif is a proud Muslim, he is “massively open-minded” about religious matters. He has stated, “I’ve been brought up to believe in the oneness of God. In some places, He is known as Jesus. In other places He is known as Bhagawan or Allah.” Saif also said, “I would never want her (Kareena) to change her religion. That is the trouble with religion; really it expects conversion. I don’t buy or believe that any more. If and when we do get married no one has to change his or her religion.” Saif and Kareena got married in 2012 by civil wedding.
Saif and Kareena have set the tone for a new generation of youths in India and around the world by displaying interfaith marriages with equality and true mutual respect for each other’s faith. Now with their son’s name being Taimur Ali Khan, it remains to be seen if they will expose Taimur to both faiths. Will Saif and Kareena put real religious tolerance into practice rather than merely preaching on Bollywood screens?
A Chapter from the book Interfaith Marriages: Share and Respect with Equality is posted here. View some of others chapters from the book here.
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