Pandora says: April 3, 2015 at 10:34 pm
Hardik, it is wonderful that you two are doing what you can to be with each other. Like some of what the others have said, I do question your conversion – are you really sincere or is this to please your partner?
I am also the Christian half in an interfaith relationship (but with a Muslim) so here’s my 2 cents on it.
– Expect initial rejection from families and/or religious communities. The more conservative/devout, the higher the rejection. This is because your beliefs are different, and according to how they are taught in their faith, you are that “unbeliever” who will at best be diverted, at worst be evil. It will take time, I have talked with a lot of Christians, Catholics and Muslims and encountered a lot of panic moments to be in a much better place with my other half.
– Find more Progressive/inclusive religious communities within your faiths. Because one/both of you may want to keep your faith, and having a discoraging community that focuses on your interfaith relationship as your downfall is not going help. Find those communities that are supportive of the relationship and also be inclusive to your partner despite their faith so you can grow.
– Know what your partner believes. In Christianity, Jesus is a manifestation of God as part of the Trinity – God, Holy Spirit and Jesus. If you read the Bible Christians always wrestle with a verse “do not be yoked with unbelievers….” (2 Corinthians 6:14) Many Christians will interpret this as the warning to not marry non-Christians because they will impede your faith. It took me countless consultations with Christian friends, counselors and readings who tell me it is more important for me to keep faith, find a Progressive community since it’s God’s plan on peoples’ spiritual journeys.
– Discuss how you are going to respect each others’ beliefs and what to do if children arrives. This one’s important – will she let you celebrate Diwali, or will you have to only go to church? Can you grow in your faith(s) together? That’s something to consider.
Also, if you have time, read J. Dana Trent’s “Saffron Cross”. She is a Christian minister married to a former Hindu monk and that may help you in navigating your interfaith journey. http://jdanatrent.com/about-saffron-cross/
All my hug and best wishes to you! -Pandora
View videos: Interfaith Marriage with Equality, All you want to know about the Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia: Hindu-Muslim Marriages,
Also read: Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus?, Love-Jihad, Don’t fake-convert, Polygamy and talaak, Akansha unwillingly converted to Nusrat, Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Idols, pluralism, SRK-can you do it?, Zakir Naik, Christian-Hindu marriages, Sikh-Muslim marriages, Malaysia in love, Marriage laws.
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I Love Him, But My Parents Are Afraid of Society
Dear Pandora,
I am an English Christian. My girlfriend is an Israeli Arab Muslim. It is not a problem for me to convert to Islam in order to marry her. But there is another problem which is driving both of us crazy. She is the youngest of five sisters. The three eldest ones are married but the fourth eldest is not. She has never had a boyfriend and has made it quite clear that she has no intention of ever getting married and having children. The parents have ruled that my girlfriend cannot get married until her older sister has tied the knot. Is this a Muslim thing or just a family tradition? If it is a Muslim thing is there any way around the problem?
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11072
I think this question would be much better directed to my significant other than me since I am not Muslim. Anyhow, here’s my two cents:
I have a very interfaith upbringing with my immediate families who consists of atheists, Christians, Catholics and Buddhists, so unlike some Christians, I chose my faith than being raised in it b/c I am taught to appreciate and love one another than pinpoint one another’s faith within my fam.
Now this is something we are working on. However, with people in all faiths, there are always conservatives who take their religious texts literally, focus only on their religion (so majority of their friends are in that religion and you have no outside views), progressives who question their faith and seek to love others and discuss than denounce others, with mainstream ones in between. Personally, I think faith is awesome, but your faith community can peer pressure you into following rules instead and so ultimately destroys your relationship with God as it becomes how to relate with God according to (insert person/church/place of worship’s) ways.
There are amazing examples of Christian-Muslim community with Reza Aslam and Jessica Jackley: https://onbeingboth.wordpress.com/2013/07/29/successful-interfaith-marriage-reza-aslan-and-jessica-jackley/, Heather Al Yousuf http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/0/24338285 and that’s my ideal scenario. There are also cases where children are raised Christian/Muslim but are brought up with a strong sense of appreciation of the other parents’ faith that I see.
So my take is to raise future kids in both faiths with a wider world view (hello, what if my Buddhist aunt pops by?) ideally b/c I want them to make their choice and not be ignorant people who cast out non-believers.
PS I actually find it easier to relate to monotheistic faiths because at best, we will see each other as diverted and this is what has been happening. It is also a huge bonus living in the West.
Dear Pandora,
Superb explanations. Good thought process. You are on track. We love “I want them (Children) to make their choice” … like Barack Obama? Do you mean children will not have baptism or religious sunat to announce them something? Do you mean one child will have Christian name and the other Arabic (or natural names only)?
Dear Pandora,
You are inspired by Saffron-Cross and hoping for a Green-Cross. Understand that Hindu religion is lots flexible than Islam. What would you teach your children about the Koran? (Jesus, son of Mary, was no more than God’s apostle (4:171). Allah forbids that He Himself should beget a son! (19:34). Further, those who say: “the Lord of Mercy has begotten a son” preach a monstrous falsehood (19:88). Unbelievers are those that say: “God is the Messiah, the son of Mary” (5:70) and “God is one of three” (5:72). Unbelievers will get “Hell of Fire.” Further, Allah told….”Believers, take neither Jews nor the Christians for your friends.” (5:51))?