Satyen says: November 30, 2016 at 7:12 pm
Dear Zoya,
Your situation is a classic example of young Hindu/Jain girls undergoing the dilemma of loving a Muslim boy. Let us analyze the relevant problems in order to explore the suitable solution.
I am expressing my views not for just you but also for all those girls involved in interfaith marriages.
The two insurmountable problems faced by the girls are getting the parents’ consent and Muslim boys or their families insisting on the girls’ conversion to Islam. There is another issue that fuels the above problems is social acceptance of the interfaith marriage.
Though the above mentioned issues are seemingly the only ones, there are other serious issues which are overlooked. The reason is the concerned girls are not matured enough to foresee the issues of their married life.Also the present day education system doesn’t equip them to handle such issues.
If I were to go through this type of predicament, I approach in a manner written below.
Let’s enumerate objectively the lifestyle changes I will have to make for this married life. Try to find out as many points as you can think of. Examples are:
1. Food habits – Vegetarian/non vegetarian, eating beef, halal food etc.
Cooking non veg, beef etc.
Serving non veg to the family members and relatives etc.
Being the witness to the ritual killing of animals on the occasion of qurbani,
2. Dress code – wearing hijab, burqa, jeans etc.
3. Allowed to study in university.
4. Allowed to work in an office environment, earn the livelihood.
5. Religious freedom: Worshipping the Murtis and going to the temple is allowed.
6. Celebrating the festivals such as Holiday, Deepavali, Dashahara etc. Any compulsion to fast during the whole
month of Ramadan.
7. Maintaining the relationship with parents/Siblings and relatives.
8. Religious Conversion and marriage type.
9. Last rites – to be buried or cremated.
10. Raising the children – Circumcision; Naming – Arabic or Indian name; education type – Arabic, Madarasa or modern
11. The possibility and ease of reverting back to the previous religion in case I didn’t like Islam.
12. Chances of divorce and going back to parents/Siblings.
The above mentioned issues are just the examples. You may have many more issues. Be brutal and objective in foreseeing the issues without any emotional attachment.
The next step is to arrange the issues in the order of relevance to you. The most important issue must be given more importance.
Thereafter, discuss the issues with your would be life partner and his family members because you will have to pass your life with them as well.
Lastly, you give a serious thought and try to find out if this marriage is going to work for you. Also take suggestion from your closest friends and family members, associated with your present religion. Give them a patient hearing to their reasoning.
Take time and then decide after weighing the pros and cons.
Life is yours and you are responsible for making it a blissful one or a cause to repent.
All the best. –Satyen
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i am a hindu boy. i want to marry with my girlfriend whi is muslim and got marry only 10 days ago. may i marry with her without her divorce?? Plz suggest urgent.
We have altered your name for your privacy.
If she is already married, why do you want to marry her? Let her live her married life? Did she ask you recently a desire to marry you? You cannot marry already married women, she must take divorce first.
I need some help with hindu girl marrying muslim boy. Date of marriage in 2 weeks.
I am very impressed with your website.
Hi Vijay, give us details:
1) Are they going to have Hindu wedding?
2) Are they going to have Islamic Nikaah? Note it requires religious conversion (Shahadah) before Nikaah, it is a MUST. Her parents may not know.
3) Other list we have summarized here https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11837#comment-403197. If they are in West, some of them may not apply.
4) How much you can influence now on top of what the girl has decided after thinking for past 3-10 years? How much influence you have over her parents?
Get back to us ASAP and we will provide more info.