Shamsher says: August 26, 2018 at 8:00 am
Hello, I am a Sikh and I have been married to my wife 30 plus years, Who is Catholic. We never had any problem. But recently I began to think if my son who has also proposed to Carholic girls. Till now I had no problem but lately began to think that if he marries a Catholic girl. So My future of being any one as a Sikh in my family will die with me. I never pushed him to choose in early age. I thought when he will be teenager, He will make his choice. Lately We had discussion about their wedding and I heard that girl parents said they would like them to marry in the Church so I said then they also have to marry in Sikh Guru Dawara. That’s was the end of marrying in church. They will have a civil marriage!
I been living in the USA for almost 36 years and both kids are born in the US. Lately when we start planning about function, they said it their marriage and they will be the one to decide about it and don’t want any stress from families, also would like very simple function and not very many people. This does brings problem as our close friends have invited to their kids marriages and many other functions. So this is the only time we can invite them.
Other thing is we never got converted and we respected each other as being very broad minded. But I think in India love is one thing and time comes to converting, there is a problem in my views. If a couple truly love each other then they should also respect them for their individual beliefs. Well I would like wish well to everyone in their happiness, Love or marriage! God bless everyone! -Shamsher
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Dear Shamsher Ji,
Thank you for sharing your life experiences. It is probably the case with most other Western immigrants who have been there for long time. You adapted to Western life style in all most all respects and also married a Western girl. You did not try to seriously install Sikh culture or took kids to Gurudwara every week. They were probably left to be open minded all inclusive good citizens of this world. Further, your interest in Sikh marriage was a reaction to their suggestion of a Church marriage. You enjoyed many many relatives/friend’s children’s marriage but now you do not have option left to reciprocate and inviting them to your son’s marriage. Probably your son will ask to invite people whom he personally recognize them. Your grandchildren, the third generation of “Sikhs” will only be a name-sake Sikh. Your grandchildren, one day, will inherit your millions of dollars of asset, but almost zero your rich Sikh-heritage. Yes, your Sikh heritage is ending here. Or we can say it started ending 36 years before when you landed to America.
We are glad they are not marring in a Church because church will want your heritage to be a Catholic one. That would be even harder pain to swallow. In America, many youths don’t even want to marry. In that respect, you should be happy that at least your son decided to start a married life and one day will give your an opportunity to enjoy your grandchildren. Remember, even worst scenario could be, your son married to another man! Given there are so many good and bad possibilities in life, and you do not have any other option left, you might as well enjoy the choice made by your son.
On your Sikh heritage, it is not all lost. If you really care, you can be a true Sikh starting now. You can start reading on your faith and associating with Gurudwara. You can spend your retirement life for the good cause of promoting Sikhism and good teachings of Guru Nanak ji. With love and affection, it is possible you can make your grandchildren more proud being a Sikh. Instead of saving your asset till death, start generously donating to any and all causes that you feel deserve your life’s earning.
Think it is not all lost for your heritage, but a new opportunity exposure to others to it. Best wishes.
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