Section 6.1: Sikh-Muslim Marriage with Equality

Section 6.1: Sikh-Muslim Marriage with Equality

The author believes this is a case of true interfaith marriage with equality.

Azad says:

My wife (Tejpreet) is Sikh and I am a Muslim. When we got married, she never said the shahadah (conversion) because in Islam that is a form of accepting Islam (which is the mainstream view) so she did not say it. We had a simple ceremony in the court, because we belonged to different religions. We had a reception after, just to celebrate and it was fine. No one in our families had a problem with that, and we are happy. But I think it depends on the spouse in question. These kinds of things should be discussed before the wedding ceremony so that both parties know where they stand.

My thinking is more open minded and liberal, so I will never ask my wife to do something that I know I could not do. If I cannot change my faith, who am I to ask her to do the same? That’s hypocrisy. She is Sikh and will remain Sikh and I am still Muslim. We are happy and I don’t think someone should say it just to “please” their spouse’s family. I think your faith is a part of who you are, and even though I am a Muslim, whatever you are raised as, Hindu, Sikh, Jain, etc., you should stay within your faith because it is your identity.

My wife and I will teach our children the main tenets of both our faiths. We have even decided on names that are found in both religions. I was always raised liberal and my wife is also tolerant, so we don’t see anything wrong in celebrating holidays and customs from both faiths. The more the merrier is what I always say, who wouldn’t mind having more excuses to celebrate? Before we got married, my wife actually asked me the same and I told her nothing she believes contradicts my own beliefs. We both believe in One God, and we share the same language and homeland, and giving to charity. Being a good human being is the foundation of all great religions.

My parents accepted my wife for who she was. My own father, despite reading Koran everyday and praying 5 times, sits with my wife whom he loves as a daughter and even takes her to the Gurdwara so that she does not feel like she is married somewhere where she is not accepted. Instead of saying Allah hafiz or something in Urdu, he says things like Rab rakha because they accept my wife. At times I am still surprised to this day how much my parents adore her. She’s the daughter they never had, and my parents are quite religious. I don’t think that Islam has taught them to be cruel. In fact my father is the most religious person and he gets along the most with my wife.

I think I did get lucky because I get to learn new things from her side of the family everyday. But if I’m honest, religion isn’t really what comes across my mind when I’m with her. I just see her as the woman I fell in love with. I don’t really care at that point what faith she belongs to or what faith I belong to. She completes me and I thank God everyday for her. —Azad

Tejpreet says:

I am not here trying to say go and marry out of religion. All I’m trying to say is that it’s wrong to assume that anyone who does interfaith marriage is a shame on his or her culture. I always thought that above all God was love, and in my own belief I only believe in one God and that God is everyone’s, not just God of a select few.

Why are others so concerned about my children? My husband and I are happy raising them, and contrary to your narrow-minded beliefs we do speak the same language and are from the same area back home. My family accepted my husband and vice versa because they knew him from the time we were young, and know he is hardworking and a kind individual. Why do you only look at a person’s faith and nothing else?

I did not hide anything from my family and neither did he, nor did we get married against anyone’s wishes. I don’t think anyone has any right to wish ill upon my children or say that they will grow up confused because they are not. They know their culture, we celebrate holidays, they know their language, and I don’t need to justify to anyone that my children are happy.

Interfaith marriages have been happening since the times of the Mughal empire, it’s not something new, but people nowadays have two sides… either they are accepting or are very radical and intolerant. Whether you like it or not, the world is changing and the youth is taking steps to wipe out the barriers that communities have built. I’m not saying convert and disregard your culture and traditions, but to say that whoever falls in love with someone from a different faith is stupid if he/she doesn’t know about their culture is ignorance. I don’t think it works that way. Love is different. It doesn’t matter what faith you belong to. I’m simply saying that we should refrain from saying ill about another’s faith.

My husband and I are from different religions and we are very happy. I love him a lot and our families support us and we are both learned in our own cultures and traditions. Neither one of us converted into the other’s faith nor do we fall into the traps of society and what people think. No one has ever won the world and they never will. —Tejpreet