Section 3.13: Hindu Girl: I Did Not Agree to Baptize Our Children

Section 3.13: Hindu Girl: I Did Not Agree to Baptize Our Children

Preeti says:

I am a born Hindu and my fiancé is a Catholic. We are planning to tie the knot in 2 years’ time.

Our relationship grows stronger by appreciating differences of each other and we celebrate the differences together. However we are not in alignment when it comes to raising the kids. We decided and agreed to raise the kids in both faiths. I have a concern and didn’t agree to baptize our children. What I understand on baptism is it simply means “You follow Jesus and he is the only God.”

He explains that baptism is simply a ceremony for cleansing of mortal sin, it’s a blessing and sign of purity. The baby will be blessed and guarded from Evil.

He is ok with my decision of not baptizing the children but not happy with that. I am worried and confused. Please advise. —Preeti

Admin says:

Dear Preeti,

You have raised a very vital question for any interfaith marriage—what will be the formal religion of children? You are on track by declining the baptism (no BBS); be firm with it.

You are not here to please him on a short run but to make a long lasting happy married life. Promise less but produce more.

This is an interfaith marriage and he should not get stuck on Christian dogma (and you on Hindu dogma). You two have to get married and make your own new religion with your own rules and new belief sets.

Do not sign the prenuptial agreement necessary for Catholic church wedding. If necessary, marry without the church.

Tell him that you will give birth to sin-free children (as per Hindu belief). It is the child’s karma that will decide if he/she is a sinner. For this reason, you do not see any need to wash sins of a new born.

Tell him that even without baptizing your children, you will respect Christianity, celebrate all holidays, will go to his church, will display Jesus’ cross in your home, teach children from the Bible (and Geeta) and will be a better Christian (without baptism) than many others. We are optimistic that he will agree to your reasoning and will appreciate your pluralistic (not exclusivist) thinking.

On his point of “The baby will be blessed and guarded from Evil,” is this truth or superstition? Jews believe in circumcision of a male child and believe that one should not work on the Sabbath day. If not followed something negative will happen; again is this truth or superstition? Jesus changed that and accepted all uncircumcised gentiles and further told his followers that it is okay to do good karma even on the Sabbath day; is this not progressive thinking? If Jesus gave such wonderful messages, why are some churches today teaching that Mahatma Gandhi’s karma is not important, but his baptism label is? For such reasons, we recommend following Jesus and not necessarily the church. Adapt from Jesus’ true teachings but decline baptism from the church.

With reference to superstition mentioned above, some Hindus believe in putting black ash on a child’s forehead to guard from evil or in breaking a coconut in front of a new car as blessings from God, while others may see these practices as nothing but superstition. Agree that this is an interfaith marriage and both parties have to give up superstitious beliefs. It is not the 10 minutes ritual of baptism that is of concern, but the thought process behind asking for it. The BBS will set a tone for your newly married life.

Everyone can talk of equality and tolerance, but those are not measurable qualities. If you wish to find out the true tolerant nature of his family, decline the BBS. All of a sudden, reality will come out. We recommend NO BBS as a sort of insurance from a religious fanatic, just to make sure. Best wishes. —Admin